Colours by Grouplove, the barely appropriate Helloween theme, plays, and the fans are mildly interested... just kidding! They're super excited as Helloween is on the air!
Zach Davis: Welcome, fans. Shannan and I are joined tonight by Luscious Jackson, and-
Luscious Jackson: SUP CRACKAS! Yo, this bitch be in da hizzy, and-
All of a sudden, Luscious Jackson's head is chopped off by the machete of a man in a hockey mask.
Shannan Lerch: AHHH! WHAT THE FU-
Blood spurts from Luscious Jackson's severed neck-hole as his body slumps to the ground, getting blood all over Zach, Shannan, and the nearby screaming audience. The Jason lookalike leaves the scene quietly.
Zach Davis: Happy Helloween, everybody!
Jason Xavier is already in the ring as we come back from commercial. The sound of a chainsaw being pull started reverberates through the arena, as The Lumberjack starts. With the start of the lyrics Buzzsaw walks out, pausing on the stage to raise a fist. As the crowd pops, he makes his way to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans. Grabbing the top rope, he steps onto the apron, and over the top rope into the ring. As he prepares for his match, he removes his flannel shirt, revealing his muscled body. The referee signals for the bell..
DING! DING! DING!
...and this match is officially under way. Xavier let's out a war cry and runs straight at Buzzsaw looking for a body splash. Buzzsaw sidesteps him at the last minute and Xavier crashes chest first into the top turnbuckle. Xavier stumbles out of the corner and Buzzsaw kicks him in the stomach. Buzzsaw then lifts him up and hits Felling The Forrest with authority. Buzzsaw with the pin attempt.
Buzzsaw's music hits as the crowd stares at the ring speechless.
Shannan Lerch: That...what was that?
Zach Davis: Quite possibly the quickest match in history.
Buzzsaw mockingly wipes imaginary sweat from his brow and then climbs out of the ring as the show fades out to an advertisement.
Again, SONG plays, and we go back to the announcers.
Zach Davis: Well.. okay... let's try to introduce the show without another murder. Not until the Hardcore Title match, or the Jones vs Switches match, anyway.
Shannan Lerch: You said it, Zach! We have two potential felonies waiting to happen tonight. Oblivion will face Aaron Miles for the Hardcore Title, for one.
Zach Davis: Miles has been making quite a name for himself lately, but uh, if any night is Oblivion's night, it is Helloween. This could be a massacre.
Shannan Lerch: And as for that demented Switches the Clown versus Lawnmower Jones... I'm hoping the only reason we hired those freaks was for this PPV and we're going to fire them tomorrow morning.
Zach Davis: Doubtful. Would YOU want to fire either of those two men?
Shannan Lerch: Touche.
Zach Davis: We have a HUGE main event tonight, the match everyone has been waiting to see since War. Johnny Reb will go one on one with Odin Balfore for the World Title.
Shannan Lerch: Reb outlasted every other wrestler in the ring in the War match... only to win it and have that win ruined by Odin Balfore, who attacked him and stole the Title. Reb, Seth, Logan, and Lawnmower Jones went on to get the Title back, but that only lead to Balfore decimating Logan as well!
Zach Davis: Odin Balfore is a wrecking machine, that much is sure. This is Reb's toughest test to date. Can he pass?
Shannan Lerch: We also have another epic match... Jay Williams versus Brad Kane. It doesn't get any bigger than when those two names are up against one another.
Zach Davis: And we didn't expect this, Shannan, we didn't expect Williams to turn on Kane the way he did on Slam a few weeks ago. Can Kane get his revenge?
Shannan Lerch: In addition to the World and Hardcore Titles, the TV Title will be returning tonight. Doc Henry, Jake Keeton, and Vic are all competing in a ladder match to see who can grab that belt.
Zach Davis: Vic is replacing Roy Speede due to injury, but damn, this should be a good one.
Shannan Lerch: And up next, D-Day and Ryan Blake are up against one another! This is resulting from a tag match a few weeks ago, with Day teaming with Reb, taking on the Alliance.
Zach Davis: Can Blake score the upset? Let's find out!
The lights dim and “Down and Out” by Tantric Pounds the P.A. system. A white fog rushes the stage. When the lyrics start, Ryan Blake walks on to the stage. The fans go crazy, some boo and some cheer. He rolls his neck, and begins to walk down the ramp. On his way down he gives some high fives to his fans. When he reaches the ring and slides in on his stomach. He comes to his feet and raises his arms, ready for the match to start.
The lights in the stadium dim to pitch black Bulletproof by 12 Stones blares in the speakers with lights swinging around the stadium lighting up the darkness from the dimmed lights. In cue with the music, pyros of red, white and blue go off when the sound of BANG!!! from Bulletproof. The pyros continue to go off on cue with the word being said. After the third pyro goes off the lights focus on the entrance of the stage where Donald Deruty is standing with his head tilted down. He falls to his knees and throws his hands up in the air where a final set of multi-colored pyros is fired. At the signal of the final pyros the dimmed lights turn back on and light the whole stadium with red, white, and blue lights. D-Day jumps to his feet as soon as the lights are back on. He takes his time walking down the ramp, as he gives high fives and shakes the hands of the fans. Once he reaches ringside he slowly walks up to the steel steps where he goes one step at a time until he reaches the ropes where he enters the ring with a swaggery hop to his walk. He looks up at the titantron where the sights of his memorial moments in his WCF career can be seen.
The bell rings, and we're off. Day and Blake tie up in the middle of the ring, neither man getting an advantage. Both men are tall and skinny, but D-Day has both the height, weight, and EXP advantage.. he uses that, giving Blake an armdrag and holding on with an armbar. Blake rolls back, stands, and hits a big knee to the stomach getting Day to break the hold. Blake snaps back and drops Day with a DDT into a pin!
kickout at one, Blake should have known not to go for the pin there. Day shakes the cobwebs loose and stands up, into a right hand from Blake. Ryan sends Day into the turnbuckle and goes for a monkey flip, which Day lands on his feet and runs back, dropkicking Blake and sending HIM to the buckle! On the advantage, Day climbs up and hits the classic ten punch in the corner, followed by a drop toe hold and elbow drop to the spine. Blake shakes it off as Day lifts him up off the mat. Blake hits two elbows and then goes for The Elite Assassin, the Falcon Arrow! Day reverses mid-move and lands on his feet behind Blake... who has jumped off the second rope and comes back with a huge Superman Punch landing a right hand on Day's chin! This knocks Day into the ropes and he bounces off back into a Superkick from Blake! He goes for the pin!
D-Day kicks out somehow! And AS he kicks out, he locks on the Justice Lock! Blake has nowhere to go! So, he rolls to his left and breaks Day's hold. Not to be denied, Day stands up and starts throwing kicks at Blake. BOOM one last kick and Day completes D for Destruction... but Blake doesn't go down and he hits a Shining Wizard, the Casualty! Both men are down after hitting finishers! FIGHTING SPIRIT!
Zach Davis: Forgive my quietness, but this has been a great match so far, wow!
Day manages to be the first man to move, throwing his arm overtop of Blake.
Shannan Lerch: D-Day is the winner! By a hair!
Zach Davis: Damn close matchup, Shannan. Damn close.
Donald slides out of the ring and goes toward the side of the announce table and grabs a microphone. He jogs back into the ring with the mic and puts it up to his lips.
Zach Davis: What is D-Day doing?
Shannan Lerch: Obviously he is going to say something...shh.
Donald Deruty: Well, if you all havent been following me lately there is something that i would like to announce. Come on bring it out here.
Donald points towards the entrance ramp and curls his finger back telling someone to come out to the ring.
A man walks out of the ring with a case a black case not a suit case but a case that someone puts something very valuable in as he makes his way down to the ring a smirk comes on his face.
Zach Davis: Who is this guy? And what is in that case?
Shannan Lerch: Shut up Zach.
The man finally reaches the ring and slides in handing the case to Donald. He tells the man to hold the case for him. He does so. Donald unsnaps the locks and opens the case lid. He reaches in the case and pulls out the WCF United States Championship he holds it up to the lights.
Crowd: THE CHAMP IS BACK!!! THE CHAMP IS BACK!!!
The crowd continues to go crazy as he admires the gold for a few more seconds until he places it on his shoulder and waves the man holding the case back to the back. He slowly puts the mic to his mouth and begins to speak, the crowd becomes silent.
Donald Deruty: This championship should be mine and it is in my possession, you see i was never beaten for this championship and i am not going to just hand it over like i did last time i captured this championship. I can walk, i am not injured, so Seth you cant take this championship away from me without a better reason. I have held this championship for many times, many times. I have been talking about proving myself worthy again, working from the bottom up; just like i did last year at One.
I have worked my way up from the bottom before, and i will do it again. I will not just sit at the bottom of the ladder and be unoticed and unappreciated. I will get the respect that i deserve. It was the era of D-Day a while ago, and now it is time for history to repeat. It is time for Donald Deruty to be at the top of the food chain in the WCF i will stop at nothing to hold this title and to capture the World Championship when i am done with the United States Championship. Ryan was just the beginning, there will be more to come; and anyone who gets in my way will be a target. So everyone in the back, i highly suggest to you that you stay out of my way. If you dont the concequences will be very, very painful for yourselves.
Donald drops the mic and rolls out of the ring smiling at his United States Championship while the crowd goes crazy for the fan favorite D-Day.
Crowd: D-DAY!!! D-DAY!!! D-DAY!!! D-DAY!!! D-DAY!!!
Zach Davis: Well you can see that the crowd is sure as hell happy that D-Day has claimed the WCF United States Championship, and personally i am too!
Shannan Lerch: I am too Zach, but will my brother be happy about it?
We come back from commercial with a sweeping shot of the audience before the camera comes to rest on the announce table.
Zach Davis: Next up is the Hardcore Title match between Aaron Miles and Oblivion. Should be a brutal match, eh Shannan?
Shannan Lerch: Defiantly.
"I Am The Cool" by Screamin Jay Hawkins blasts over the speakers as the crowd gets hyped for Aaron Miles' entrance. Several minutes past and the song fades out as the crowd dies down.
Zach Davis: Did the scaredy cat no show?
Shannan Lerch: Shut it Zach, I'm sure he's...wait a moment. Hold it! I'm getting word that something is going down backstage. Let's take it to the back.
We go to the back and find Miles and Oblivion already going at it in the halls. A referee is present.
Shannan Lerch: And...yes, I've just gotten word that this match is going to be falls count anywhere. My how things change around here.
Oblivion picks Miles up and slams him against the wall. Miles rains down with fists to Oblivions back and shoulders, but to no effect. Oblivion picks him up and does it a second time before allowing him to crumple to the ground in pain. Oblivion turns around and grabs a conveniently placed folding chair and closes it before turning around. He lifts it above his head and swings down..AND MILES ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Miles keeps rolling comically, barely avoiding swing after swing of the chair. Finally, Oblivion tosses the chair to the side in a fit of rage, hitting a backstage employee.
Zach Davis: And there goes Craig the Electrician.
Miles scrambles to his feet and runs down the hallway, trying every door he can find before finally pulling one open. He goes to run in, and then stops in his tracks. Oblivion runs up ready to attack, but when he sees inside the room he too stops. The cameraman steps in between them and zooms in. The room is full of leather gear and posters of men in banana hammocks. The desk in the center of the room, littered with papers, bears a nameplate that reads "Seth Lerch, Owner".
Shannan Lerch: Oh Seth...oh no.
Both men look at each other, and then step back before shutting the door. As soon as it's shut they go right back to brawling, trading lefts and rights. Oblivion quickly takes control and hits Aaron with a knee to the gut before grabbing him by the back of the head and leading him down the hall. They pass by a pay phone and it begins to ring.
Aaron Miles: Wait! I've been expecting a call.
Miles grabs the phone, while still being held by Oblivion, and answers it.
Aaron Miles: It's for you.
Oblivion looks at the phone and then reaches for it. Miles predictably swings it at Oblivion, connecting with his jaw. Miles then wraps the cord around Oblivion's neck and begins to strangle him with it.
Zach Davis: So...we still have pay phones in 2011?
Miles releases the cord from his neck and Oblivion drops to the ground, gasping for air. Miles then uses the phone part like a whip, smacking Oblivion in the back over and over until it finally snaps. Miles then with a quick pin attempt.
Oblivion kicks out with authority, sending Aaron several feet away. Miles springs up to his feet and then runs off, with Oblivion in pursuit. Miles ducks into the men's room and into a stall. Oblivion barges in and looks around before spotting the only stall with the door shut. He kicks it in and Aaron is standing on top of the toilet.
Aaron Miles: Uhh...occupied?
Oblivion steps in and unloads with a punch to the gut that double Aaron over. He then knocks him to the ground and shoves his head into the toilet bowl.
Zach Davis: Oh the irony.
Oblivion hits the flusher and Aaron can be heard sputtering for air. Oblivion finally let's go of his head and Aaron pulls his head out of the toilet. His face is soaked but oddly his hair remains perfectly spiked. Oblivion goes to do it again when suddenly Aaron grabs hold of a nearby plunger and jabs it into Oblivions chest. He then stands up and pushes the rubber part into his face, leaving it comically stuck. Oblivion stumbles around trying to pull it off and Aaron drops down behind him before delivering a low blow. Oblivion drops to the ground and Aaron again goes for a pin attempt.
And Oblivion again kicks out with authority. Oblivion gets up and pulls the plunger off of his face before tossing it to the side. Aaron turns and runs, with Oblivion again in pursuit. Aaron ducks through the curtain that leads to the ring and runs down the ramp before sliding under the ring. Oblivion is right behind him and catches him by the feet. Oblivion drags him out...AND MILES SPRAYS HIM IN THE FACE WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER! Oblivion screams in pain from the foam in his eyes as Aaron pulls a bag of thumbtacks from under the ring and spreads them out on the ground. Miles then grabs Oblivion by the head and tries to DDT him when Oblivion from out of nowhere blocks it and then executes a back body drop. Miles lands back first onto the tacks and screams out in pain.
Shannan Lerch: Oh god. No matter how many times I watch these matches I can never stand to hear the screams of pain.
Oblivion then pulls Aaron up to his feet and executes the Soultaker. Oblivion with the pin attempt.
"Oblivion" by Mastodon hits the speakers as the referee brings Oblivion the Hardcore Title.
Zach Davis: And Oblivon retains!
Shannan Lerch: What a match!
The show fades to an advertisement for next month's PPV as Oblivion's gathering slides out from under the ring to celebrate with him.
The opening riffs of “Sweet Home Alabama” echo throughout the WCF Arena. The audience’s response is a deafening pop, as Johnny Reb emerges from the back, stalks across the stage, and holds up the WCF World Title for all to see. With a big grin plastered on his face, he speeds down the ramp and dives under the bottom rope, sliding into the ring. He leaps to his feet almost immediately, brushes off some imaginary dirt, and stands in the center of the ring, lifting the strap high once more. Tonight, more than any other night, the Inveterate Confederate exudes pure confidence; the crowd perceives it, takes it in, and radiates it right back in the form of unadulterated excitement. Pyros go off, but instead of the usual shower of sparks, candy rains down all the hell over the place – which sort of annoys the people who get pegged right in the head by fun-size Butterfingers and Snickers falling at thirty-two feet per second, per second. Like Zach. Poor Zach.
Zach Davis: Ow! What the fuck?!
Shannan Lerch: The World Champion is making it rain inside the WCF arena here tonight! I’ve never seen so much candy in my life!
A small packet of Skittles lands right on top of Zach’s head and stays there, prompting from him a long-suffering sigh. In the ring, meanwhile, Johnny Reb has shouldered his belt and lifts a microphone to his mouth.
Johnny Reb: Reading, PA – HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!
This elicits another cheap pop, making Johnny’s grin even broader.
Johnny Reb: Damn right, y’all! An’ what a glorious night it’s gonna be! We got some real treats in store, don’t we? D-Day versus Ryan Blake – that’s gonna be fun. Oblivion defends his Hardcore Title – sure to be plenty of tricks, there. The long-awaited TV Title match. Kane an’ Williams, finally goin’ at it in a personal vendetta for the ages. Ah...but as always, we save the very best for last: Me an’ that scalawag, Odin Balfore, goin’ head-to-head for this...the ultimate prize...
He holds up the belt once more, and gets a respectable cheer.
Johnny Reb: An’ y’all know what? No amount of hocus-pocus an’ ancient rituals is gonna help that man. He can call on all the long-dead ancestors he wants to; ain’t nobody gonna answer his call. All the berserker fury that man can muster ain’t gonna do jack for him when the bell rings. ‘Cause tonight....is the Twilight of the Gods. No aid will come from on high. The very best Mr. Balfore can hope for is that his gods are satisfied enough with our battle that, at the end, Valkyries are dispatched to carry what remains of him to Valhalla.
Johnny stabs a finger vaguely upward for emphasis, smiling grimly.
Johnny Reb: Y’see... most folks think of Halloween as a time to dress up, put on a mask, and play at bein’ somethin’ we ain’t. I know better. As Carl Gustav Jung observed, we all wear masks every day – sometimes a lot of them, for various situations. An’ Halloween is the one night a year we get to strip them off, to show our true faces to the world. So it is most appropriate that this contest – this World Title match – takes place tonight: here, at Helloween. This is the kind of match that reveals the true nature of a man, no matter what mask he may otherwise wear. I, at least, am honest with you all, week in an’ week out. My opponent, however... well, he clings too tightly to that false face he presents to all an’ sundry. Tonight – Tonight, I will tear away that façade an’ show you all the truth of Odin Balfore.
Whatever else that man may think he is; whatever he may want y’all to believe – at heart, he is nothin’ more than a two-bit hack playin’ at bein’ a god. The god Odin is wise, all-seeing and all-knowing; the man Odin is none of those things. When is it wise to trifle with the Inveterate Confederate? Many have tried – all have paid a price. Now, Mr. Balfore done got under my skin – again, not the move of a wise man – an’ tonight I will exact my toll.
The Inveterate Confederate lowers the mic for a moment. He looks out over the audience, wets his lips with his tongue, and brings the microphone up again.
Johnny Reb: You go ahead an’ bring your ersatz Viking heritage to the ring, Mr. Balfore. You go on, unload both barrels at me. Give me everythin’ you can. An’ when it’s all said an’ done, when you have exhausted every physical an’ mental resource at your disposal, you will see me, still standin’ tall, an’ ready for more. It’s called – in the vernacular – “game”; an’ I got it. You ain’t never getting this belt from me. The WCF World Title is mine. I earned it, an’ I ain’t givin’ it up to the likes of you. Try as ya might, driven as ya may be by your own blindin’ sense of pride, ya still ain’t got what it takes to keep Johnny Reb down. Ya didn’t have it at WAR, an’ ya sure as hell ain’t got it now. This title is stayin’ right where it belongs – with me.
He hesitates again, as the audience cheers once more. A smirk turns up one corner of his mouth.
Johnny Reb: Deo vindice!
Dropping the mic to indicate that his speech is at an end, Johnny pulls the title strap from his shoulder and looks at the golden plate for several seconds. Then, he thrusts it high with both hands one final time, before climbing out of the ring at last. The crowd goes insane as he works his way to the back, his progress hindered as hands reach out to touch him.
Zach Davis: It is finally time to decide our Television Champion!
As the drums hit the house lights fade, and red and blue lights strobe. At "Please allow me to introduce myself", Doc Henry and Mary walk out onto the stage, and look back and forth over the audience. As the crowd boos, the make their way to the ring, where Doc rolls in. Standing, he grins proudly as he pops the crowd drawing more boos. Mocking them, he sits on the turnbuckle and awaits his opponents...
Shannan Lerch: Doc Henry, a veteran here in WCF. No stranger to being a Champion, that's for sure.
Did you hear the one about me being a punk?
The boos grow even louder as the chorus of “Under and Over It” by Five Finger Death Punch brings Jake Keeton through the curtains. He methodically walks to the ring never giving a second glance to the horde of booing fans.
Did you hear the one about me playing the game?
“The All-American Nightmare” pops his neck from side to side and prepares for his opponent as the song finishes.
Zach Davis: Jake Keeton, on the other hand, has been in WCF a different times and different periods, but has yet to make a mark in the recordbooks as far as Championships go. Tonight could change all that.
Dark pink lights start flashing as Crass' "So What" begins to play, as Vic comes meandering down the ramp, patronizing the audience,m ocking every person he can, almost getting into an altercation with one member, had the security barrier not been in place.
Vic climbs and slides himself into the ring, and walks on over to the ropes and leans around for a bit.
Shannan Lerch: And Vic, a wildcard, who got here by Roy Speede giving away his spot due to his injury. This could be an upset, he's a very talented individual.
The bell sounds. The three men look around cautiously at one another... before each slides out to separate sides of the ring and each man pulls a ladder out from under it!
Zach Davis: Hah!
Each of the three men reenter the ring with their ladder, and each sees that the other men had done the same thing. Keeton looks at Henry and nods. Both men swing their ladders toward the head of Vic. Vic ducks, and Keeton and Doc's ladders crash into each other. In the confusion that results, Vic runs at them and hits them both with his ladder! They drop theirs and spill over the top rope to the outside!
Shannan Lerch: Wow! What a way to start this match!
Vic quickly sets his ladder up, sensing an opportunity, and begins climbing.
Zach Davis: This match could end quite quickly here!
But no, both Doc and Keeton quickly reenter the ring before Vic makes it to the top. They both grab the ladder and tip it over, sending Vic flying out of the ring and crashing to the floor below.
Shannan Lerch: Oof!
Henry begins setting the ladder back up to climb, but wisely anticipates an attack by Keeton. Henry ducks away and kicks Keeton in the gut, before grabbing his head and executing a Neckbreaker. Henry then begins climbing the ladder.
Zach Davis: These competitors are trying to make this a short match, which is smart. The longer a ladder match goes, the more chance of getting seriously injured. These matches shorten careers.
Henry makes it to the top, but Keeton is to his feet and quickly climbs up the opposite side of the ladder. As Henry reaches for the Television Title, Keeton punches him in the gut. Henry drops down, and Keeton then hits him with a forearm to the head. Keeton then drapes Henry's arm over his shoulder..
Shannan Lerch: Uh oh-
Keeton Suplexes Henry right off the ladder! Henry hits the mat hard. Seeing that Vic is about ready to reenter the ring, Keeton decides not to reach for the belt. Instead, he jumps off the ladder and hits a Guillotine Legdrop onto Henry!
Zach Davis: Keeton going high risk! Henry's in trouble.
Henry rolls out of the ring in pain as Keeton gets to his feet, only to be met by Vic. Vic chops Keeton's neck repeatedly before going for a kick. Keeton catches his leg and Vic quickly hits an Enziguri kick!
Shannan Lerch: Wrestlers really should just stop catching kicks, that ALWAYS happens.
Keeton's eyes glaze over as he falls face down to the mat. Vic begins climbing the ladder.
Zach Davis: Henry's down and Keeton's out, this could be it for Vic!
But as he's climbing, Mary slides into the ring and grabs his leg! Vic yells, angrily, trying to kick her away, but to no avail. Keeton has worked his way up, and Mary knows this is her cue to exit. Keeton takes up where she let off, grabbing Vic and yanking him off the ladder. In Vic's state of disorientation, Keeton grabs him and hits the Sin With A Grin!
Shannan Lerch: Big move! Can he take advantage?
Keeton begins climbing the ladder now! He gets to the top.. he's reaching.. his fingers are within inches of the belt..
Zach Davis: Is this it-
No! Vic has summoned all the strength he has and has reached up to grab Keeton's leg. Henry is in the ring now, and with Vic and Keeton distracted, he sets up a ladder of his own.
Shannan Lerch: What is gonna happen here?
Henry climbs his ladder and reaches the top about the time Keeton manages to kick Vic in the head, sending him sprawling back to the ground. Keeton goes to reach up for the Title once more, but Henry jumps off his ladder, Spearing Keeton, sending both men crashing to the mat!
Zach Davis: Oh my God!
The crowd is chanting "holy shit," of course, as all three competitors lay on the mat in pain. Each of them is trying to summon the strength they need to get up and begin climbing once more.
Shannan Lerch: This is anybody's game! Who is it gonna be?
Vic is up, and he sets up the ladder. With all the determination he has, he climbs up, reaches.... and grabs the Television Title.
Zach Davis: Vic! What?! Wow! What an upset!
Shannan Lerch: Vic is the new Television Champion!
Vic smiles a bit of a sinister smile as he climbs down, looking around at his two opponents. He drops down and rolls out of the ring, nodding with accomplishment.
Zach Davis: After what Vic said earlier this week about his opponents selling their bodies to entertain the audience, Vic wins after a big high risk move by Henry onto Keeton, incapacitating them both.. I'm not sure if thats irony or not!
Shannan Lerch: Its not, Zach, its not.
Vic disappears to the back as Keeton and Henry come to, realizing what has happened.
The words "My Name is Lawnmower Jones, and I Love to Mow!" are heard across the arena. Scottish bagpipes are heard around the arena, as a motor starting and a lawnmower mowing is heard. Lawnmower Jones walks out from the back. On his way to the ring, Jones refuses to touch any of the fans, and sneers at them. He rolls into the ring and pretends to push a lawnmower, flexing, posing, taunting. He goes to a corner and stretches, waiting for the match to begin.
Shannan Lerch: here comes Lawnmower Jones, looking as focused as ever.
Zach Davis: After that DQ win last week, I bet you that both men are wanting to take out their frustrations on each other, especially after Switches double crossed him.
Suddenly, hundreds of balloons begin to drift down into the ring as “GreasePaint and Monkey Brains” by White Zombie squawks through the speakersystem. The lights flicker to a momentary darkness. Just as the song kicks into gear, the lights blare back on - revealing Switches glaring down from a top turnbuckle.
Zach Davis: And here’s Switches. No love lost obviously.
Shannan Lerch: But whose the biggest freak; that’s the question as Jones wastes no time in attacking Switches from behind.
Jones just clubs away at the back of Switches as he loses his balance an falls off the ropes. Jones starts stomping away at Switches as Switches rolls out of the ring. Jones follows by climbing through the middle rope but that gives Switches just enough time to recover and cracks Jones with a right hand.
Shannan Lerch: Switches goes on offense now with that big right hand.
It ain’t pretty but its effective as Switches mounts Jones and strangles him with both hands, smashing the back of Jones head against the ground as he does so.
The ref starts to count as Switches keeps the choke applied.
Zach Davis: The eight count is enough to make switches let go and slide back into the ring. He can’t inflict more punishment if he gets counted out this early.
Switches rolls back into the ring and waits for Jones to get back up before making a suicide dive outsize the ring.
Shannan Lerch: WOW, Jones caught Switches.
Jones catches Switches and barrel suplexs him into the guard rail. Before picking him back up and hitting repeated chops. Jones grabs switches by the hair and throws him back into the ring, following moments after. Back in the ring, Jones lifts Switches back up and whips him into the ropes. Switches comes back off as Jones tries to quickly snatch him up into the Jonesmission but Switches slips out an runs off the adjacent ropes, launching himself like a missile head first into Jones.
Zach Davis: Switches came off the ropes like a rocket on that one, pretty much with that flying superman style head butt right the sternum.
Shannan Lerch: And Jones kicks out at the two count.
Switches picks up Jones and lights him up with a big combo. First the eye rake then the trapping head butts, followed up by the flash kick. Switches isn’t done yet though as he goes to whip Jones into the turn buckle but its reversed.
Zach Davis: Jones gets the desperation reversal, he was in trouble there.. BUT WATCH OUT.. HUGE SPEAR!!
Shannan Lerch: Switches nearly got broken in two from that spear, his body nearly folding up on its self.
Jones takes Switches from the corner..
Zach Davis: REV THE ENGINE.. THE COVER.. ONE, TWO.. KICK OUT!!
Shannan Lerch: How he kicked out, I have no idea but these guys arnt going light on each other. They’re pulling out all the stops.
Jones can’t believe it. He thought he had the three, it was so close. In his frustrations he argues with the ref with what he believes was a slow count. Not realizing it however, he puts distance between himself and Switches, giving Switches the opportunity to come back.
Zach Davis: Look, there’s Switches now, playfully stalking Jones.
Switches wait’s a moment before running and jumping on Jones back, reaching his hand around to Jones mouth and locking in that brutal Smile O Matic submission.
Shannan Lerch: Jones is close to the ropes.. Can he.. Will he… he does!
Switches smiles and shakes his head as he fish hooks Jones and drags hm backwards by the teeth an into the middle of the ring.
Zach Davis: Jones is in trouble here. How do you get out of this one?
Shannan Lerch: I don’t know if you can.
Jones tries, he tries with all his being to flop and struggle but with essentially a modified camel clutch with extra leverage, its nearly impossible.
The ref checks on Jones who has appeared to pass out!
Zach Davis: After agonizing minutes in that submission, probably more then anyone else in the WCF can take.. Jones has passed out to the Smile O Matic.
Shannan Lerch: It almost looks like he has a look of pleasure on his face. Either he's a masochist or I'm crazy and just seeing things.
Switches leaves the ring, winner of the match that truly represented the spirit of the PPV's namesake.
We come back from a commercial for one of WCF's sponsors, and Brad Kane and Jay Williams are both in the ring. Both men have microphones.
Zach Davis: Looks like we might see some verbal sparring before the match begins!
Brad Kane: Sorry, WCF, but we're done. I don't care-
Kane's mic cuts. Williams quickly cuts in.
Jay Williams: As much as I hate Brad Kane, we both feel that-
Again, the mic cuts. Suddenly, the lights go out.
Shannan Lerch: Jobberkill time?
As the lights come back on, Cryboy McEmo is in the ring. He's dressed up in Safestyle Jack attire.
Cryboy McEmo: Look guys, don't get me wrong, I like your style. But Seth told me that if I want a paycheck, I have to come out here and-
Kane quickly hits the BK Backfist, sending Cryboy sprawling.. right into a Williams Driver by Jay Williams!
Zach Davis: ...huh. What the hell is going on here?
Shannan Lerch: Oh who knows.
Williams and Kane both exit the ring and head to the back, nodding to the crowd.
Hank Brown is standing by in the game with Odin Balfore moments before his match against Johnny Reb. Odin rolls his neck as you can hear it snap and crunch all the way round. Hank looks a bit un easy from the sound but shakes it off an conducts the interview anyway.
Hank Brown: Odin Balfore, the man whose been on everyone’s mind positively as well as negatively. Actually, mostly negatively. He’s the most hated man in WCF today an probably up there with the hated of all time With that being said, WCF is watching this match to see Johnny Reb finally shit the big man up once an for all. Odin, how do you respond to those sentiments?
Odin Balfore: I welcome them. I’d rather be the most hated guy in this company then just some guy in this company. If you haven’t noticed Hank- the majority of the guys in WCF are just that. They’re nobodies. None of them have lived up to anything or done anything recently that would even put them in my league. They hate me because they’re jealous of me. They want to go where I been and be where I’m at so they all live vicariously through Johnny Reb for this one match but I know that none of them would want to trade places with him because they all know what’s about to happen.
Hank Brown: Let me give you a hypothetical here: If you were to become a two time champion tonight- what’s your next course of action?
Odin Balfore: I would have to say Seth Lerch but after what happened the other week with Doc Henry- that plans up in the air. So I’ll just have to take things week by week until One and see what happens there but there’s one thing I can tell you that’s this: no one will be taking the title off my hands anytime soon.
Hank Brown: Do you have anything left to say to Johnny Reb before your match?
Odin Balfore: Considering that I’ve said all that I can; the next best thing is to make him feel it.
Odin lifts up and shows the camera a closed right fist.
Hank Brown: Any closing statements?
Odin Balfore: yup.. In just a few short minutes you’ll see the return of the era of The Bad Motha Fucka and there’s nothing that anyone can do to stop that.
Odin walks off to get ready to go out the curtain an too the ring.
Zach Davis: Time for our Helloween main event!
“With Oden On Our Side” Hit’s the PA system. The arena grows dark as the fans get to their feet to catch a glimpse of the stage.The fans stand and cheer an once the vocals starts, the arena lights flash back on and there stands Odin Balfore, centre stage. Odin stares down at the ring with a sinister grin as the fans sing along with the chorus.
Crowd: Futile to resist! You know we have come! Futile to resist... the battle is.. already won!
Crowd: Futile to resist! You know we have come! Futile to resist... the battle is.. already won!
The fans pop insanly right after as Odin begins to walk down the ramp at a slow an methodical pace. Once he gets to the foot of the ring, he steps up on it and looks around the arena again before steping over the ropes..
Crowd: Futile to resist! You know we have come! Futile to resist...
Odin cuts off the fans as he raises his hand in triumph. Odin turns back to the ring as the fans finish their part.
Crowd: The battle is.. already won!
Odin waits for the match to get underway.
Shannan Lerch: Here is Odin Balfore, the man that many people say should still be the World Champion.
Zach Davis: His rise in WCF came during the period during which Seth had stepped away from the company; many people think Seth is attempting to hold Balfore down because of this.
The house lights dim, and the intro to Lynnyrd Skynnyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" hits the speakers. Hushed anticipation falls over the crowd as a spotlight illuminates the stage. Johnny Reb steps out from behind the curtain, the World Title slung over his shoulder. A cheer goes up from the audience at his appearance. As the he walks down the ramp, a cascade of sparks rains down on the stage. The Inveterate Confederate circles the ring, slapping hands with the fans at ringside. Johnny eschews the steps completely; he leaps onto the ring apron and climbs the turnbuckles, perching there with his title belt raised high overhead.
Shannan Lerch: And here is Johnny Reb! Reb has been a foundation of this company for years, and is a multi time Champion, as well as a War winner.
Odin stares intently at Reb as Reb climbs down off the turnbuckle. Reb turns and stares just as intently at Balfore, and he holds the belt high in the air once more, grinning a bit.
Zach Davis: Reb, trying to play some mind games with Balfore here, trying to get in his head.
The bell sounds. Balfore wastes no time, running at Reb and crashing into him with a knee to the gut, followed by several forearms to Reb's back. Balfore throws Reb to the ropes and then goes for a Big Boot!, but Reb has it scouted, and ducks below his leg. Odin spins around but is met with a Dropkick from Reb, causing him to stumble back. Reb runs and hits a second Dropkick, this time to Balfore's knees, and this time Balfore drops a bit. Reb grabs him and hits a Facebreaker DDT!
Shannan Lerch: Reb knows he really has to take it to Balfore in the opening moments of this match here.
Reb quickly jumps to the top and just as quick jumps off again with a Moonsault!
Zach Davis: Pin attempt!
Shannan Lerch: But not enough, not yet. Kickout.
Reb picks Balfore up but Balfore has had enough, and shoves Reb away. Reb runs at Balfore and attacks but Balfore catches him and executes a Running Powerslam!
Zach Davis: Lawmaker! Into another pin!
Shannan Lerch: No, and this time, Reb escapes!
Balfore knows that Reb isn't that easy to beat. He picks Reb up and executes an Atomic Drop, and as Reb is stunned, Balfore backs into the ropes, runs, and hits a Big Boot!
Zach Davis: Aanndd Balfore finally hits it!
Big pop from the crowd for the Big Boot. Balfore then drags Reb into the middle of the ring and puts him into the Camel Clutch.
Shannan Lerch: Balfore, wearing the Champ down here..
Reb's face contorts in pain, and the fans begin chanting. "Reb! Reb! Reb!"... Reb hears the chants and begins working his way to the ropes.. slowly... he lunges..
Zach Davis: Can he make it?
Yes! Reb makes it. The ref forces Balfore to break the hold, which he does. But he doesn't let up. He grabs Reb and drags him to the middle of the ring, lifts him up, and executes a Stalling Suplex.
Shannan Lerch: Balfore letting Reb hang in the air now.. once again, these moves are designed to wear the Champion down, which is smart wrestling on Balfore's part. Wear him down, then hit a combination of two or three big power moves, and he could be the new Champion.
After several moments, Balfore brings Reb back down, letting him crash into the mat. But once again, Balfore stays right on the attack. He picks Reb up and hits a Snapmare before putting him into a Dragon Sleeper!
Zach Davis: Balfore is also keeping the pace slow, which is smart. He can't compete with Reb in the speed department, that's for sure.
And once again, Reb's face shows how much pain he's in. The fans begin to chant, and Reb's eyes come alive for a moment... before the life seems to fade back out of them, before they close completely.
Shannan Lerch: Uh oh, this could be it for the Inveterate Confederate.
The ref lifts Reb's arm... and it falls. Lifts it again.... and it falls.
Zach Davis: One more time, and we have a new Champion...
The ref lifts it.... and Reb keeps it raised! The fans are on their feet as Reb begins working his way up, much to Balfore's chagrin. Reb elbows Balfore in the gut a few times before breaking out of the Sleeper, hitting the ropes, running at Balfore... only for Balfore to Spear him right back down!
Shannan Lerch: No! That was supposed to be Reb's comeback!
Balfore quickly pins Reb, hooking the leg.
No, somehow Reb once again kicks out! The crowd pops, but Balfore is undeterred. He picks Reb up once more... and grabs him by the throat.
Zach Davis: He's going for the Ragnarok!
Balfore lifts Reb, but Reb manages to get away, grabbing Balfore's head and bringing him down with a DDT!
Shannan Lerch: There we go! Come on, Reb!
Reb uses all the strength he has to jump to the top and wait for Balfore to stand... and flies off with the Saturday Night Special!
Zach Davis: He hits it! Could this be it!?
Reb drapes his arm over Balfore's body and the ref makes the count!
NO! Balfore kicks out!
Shannan Lerch: OOF! Not yet!
Zach Davis: Both men, giving it their all here..
Reb gets to his feet and runs at Balfore, hitting a Baseball Slide style Dropkick, sending Balfore flying out of the ring and into the steel guardrail. Balfore gets to his feet... and Reb flies over the top and hits a Corkscrew Splash!
Shannan Lerch: WOW!
Big pop from the fans, Reb's body crashes into Balfore's! He gets back to his feet, newly invigorated with momentum on his side. Reb picks Balfore up and throws him back into the ring. He then grabs Balfore's arm and begins climbing to the top.
Zach Davis: Reb's going for the Stars and Bars here!
Reb walks across the ropes... but Balfore comes back alive, hitting him in the gut, causing him to drop onto the ropes, straddling them.
Shannan Lerch: Uh oh.
Balfore grabs Reb's throat.
Zach Davis: Double uh oh.
Balfore takes Reb back into the ring and hits the Ragnarok!
Shannan Lerch: This has to be it..
Balfore pins Reb, hooking the leg.
Zach Davis: No! Reb does it, Reb kicks out!
Balfore stands up, furious. So furious, in fact, that he punches the ref in the face.
Shannan Lerch: Oh great. Here we go.
And out comes Ryan Blake. Blake enters the ring with a chair.
Zach Davis: The Alliance, teaming up against Johnny Reb.
Shannan Lerch: And to make matters worse.. look who ELSE is joining the party.
Doc Henry has shown up as well! He, too, has a chair. He enters the ring and raises it in the air, just as Blake does.
Zach Davis: Three on one..
But Henry drops the chair, grabs Blake and hits the Gambler's Hand!
Shannan Lerch: WHAT THE!?
Odin's eyes widen in surprise. Odin swings at Henry, Henry ducks it and hits the Gambler's Hand on him too!
Zach Davis: What is he DOING!?
Doc Henry grabs Reb's arm and drags him across the body of Odin Balfore before waking the ref up. The ref makes the count.
Shannan Lerch: Not.. not like this!?
BUT NO! Balfore kicked out!
Zach Davis: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
Henry and Blake are already brawling into the crowd now, once again just leaving Reb and Balfore. Reb picks Balfore up, exhausted, but Balfore shoves him away. Reb hits Balfore with a few forearms to the head, and then goes for a Vertical Suplex.
Shannan Lerch: I don't know about this, Balfore is a big man-
Somehow, Reb manages to get Balfore up. But Balfore shifts his weight, landing behind Reb. Balfore shoves Reb into the turnbuckle, and Reb runs into it, front first. Balfore then grabs Reb's head.
Zach Davis: Oh no-
Balfore only squeezes for enough seconds for Reb to know what is happening before he hits the Huginn and Muninn!
Shannan Lerch: THIS IS IT!
Balfore falls, landing on top of Reb, pinning him.
Zach Davis: NEW CHAMPION!
Balfore's music begins to play and he takes a second or two to rest before rising to his feet, and grabbing the World Title that is once again his from the ref.
Shannan Lerch: Wow..
Zach Davis: What a wonderful main event! Those two men put on a show, and I hate to say it, but Balfore is well deserving of that belt.
Seth Lerch is standing on the entranceway, shaking his head in disappointment. Reb rolls out of the ring and heads to the back, with Seth shouting at him. Reb looks at Seth, shakes his head in disgust, and disappears behind the curtain.
Shannan Lerch: Thank you one and all for joining us for Helloween! We'll see you next week on Sla-
Shannan is cut off by a pounding bass beat and the lights going out. The Jumbotron lights up and begins flashing...
...over and over again. Odin Balfore stands in the ring, almost laughing to himself. He leans on the top rope, watching all the theatrics. The bass beat slowly morphs into "This is Halloween" by Marilyn Manson. Red lights flash everywhere while "He." continues to be displayed on the Jumbotron.
Zach Davis: It's been months now, this "He." has been sending out promos. Very sporadic promos, at that. No rhyme or reason. Odin, obviously, isn't too impressed.
"This is Halloween" continues on, while a number of people come out from the back, dressed in costumes. Literally dozens of people, in costumes like werewolf, doctor, ninja, Spider-Man, and the like. Every typical costume you could imagine is walking down the ramp toward Odin, who is getting a little bit uneasy about the situation.
Shannan Lerch: What the hell is this? That has to be forty or fifty people!
The costumed strangers all surround the ring as "This is Halloween" comes to a close. "He." is left written on the Jumbotron. The lights go out.
Zach Davis: Typical...
The lights come back on, and every person is inside the ring, with Odin in the middle. He turns around, daring any of them to make a move. Not one does so. The lights go out again.
Shannan Lerch: Ah what in the hell?!
They come back on, and one person is inside the ring with Odin Balfore, while the rest of the crowd is outside again. The person left in the ring is dressed as Jason Voorhees, another fairly typical Halloween costume. Odin towers over the person, he's in no way threatened.
Again, the lights go out.
Zach Davis: Mind games a plenty here at Helloween!
They come back on, and it is total dismay. The Jason mask is on the ground. Odin's face looks like he has just seen a ghost. He looks out into the audience, and they're all wearing masks.
Shannan Lerch: Fuck!
The audience, the crowd of people around the ring, every last one of them is wearing a white mask with white circles around the eyes, and four black bars over the mouth. The only people in the entire arena not wearing one of these masks is Odin, Zach, Shannan, and the person standing in the ring... He... Corey Black.
Zach Davis: Wat.
The crowd and audience wearing Creeping Death masks explode. Odin rushes, and gets met with a dropkick to the knee. Black bounces off the ropes and comes back with a Rana Driver, taking Odin off his one knee and DDTing his head into the mat!
Shannan Lerch: GOD DAMNIT FUCKING SHIT FUCK CREEPING DEATH COREY BLACK WHATEVER THE FUCK HIS NAME IS ARGH-
Helloween fades to a close with Corey Black standing tall as Shannan's mic is cut off.