Radioactive by Imagine Dragons hits and Helloween is on the air! We go live to Zach and Shannan.
Zach Davis: THIS IS IT, SHANNAN! Months and months of warfare have lead us to this very night.
Shannan Lerch: Pantheon. Genesis. The Church of Dark Saints. One cell, one match.
Zach Davis: And one special guest referee with an agenda. Eric Price. He's had a vendetta against Jeff Purse for QUITE a while now, and Waylon Cash as well, the man who took Price's TV Title. Combine that with the fact Price gave a sizable donation to Oblivion's SuperPAC and well.... I wouldn't want to be Genesis or Pantheon.
Shannan Lerch: We also have some other variables, as SARAH TWILIGHT makes her return to the WCF ring, having joined Genesis last week... as does DAKE KEN!, who aligned himself with the Pantheon team, though I don't believe he's an official member.
Zach Davis: Dake Ken and Corey Black competed together in the first ever Hellimination match, and tonight, they compete together again.
Shannan Lerch: Of course, a few months ago we'd have thought this match would have been the blowoff between Pantheon and the Darkside of Treachery. But the DoT disbanded, which lead to the rise of the Church of Dark Saints and the eventual formation of Genesis. And, of course, arrest of Jonny Fly really hurt Pantheon here.
Zach Davis: That's arguable, because at War, Pantheon managed to hold onto the World Title, thanks to Jeff Purse.
Shannan Lerch: You've also got Odin Balfore.. or.. Odin Balfores? I guess we'll see. The man is a wrecking machine, either way, soooo this won't be pretty for anyone. I can't wait.
Zach Davis: The rest of the show? RETURNAPALOOZA!
Shannan Lerch: Hell yeah it is. Stuart Slane, Benjamin Atreyu, Apathy... they're back!
Zach Davis: Stuart Slane seeks revenge against one of the men that put him out of action, Tommy Kain. The rest of the Misfits, sans Johnny Stylez, have disappeared.
Shannan Lerch: Meanwhile, Benjamin Atreyu may be running for the "jerk of the year" award, after what he did to a man we thought was his friend, Blake Updegraff IV.
Zach Davis: As far as I'm concerned, Updegraff always has it coming to him. But still, yeah... tonight Atreyu returns against Doc Henry, whom the fans have actually begun to like lately.
Shannan Lerch: Apathy finds herself in a TV Title match. She's wrestling Chris Guy and the man that they're calling the Fastest Rising Star in WCF History, Henri Ducos.
Zach Davis: Ducos came out of NOWHERE to win the Television Title, I've honestly never seen anything like it. Well, we'll just see if he can maintain his winning streak.
Shannan Lerch: We've got, of course, a Clockwork Orange House of Fun match. The match has basically been co-opted by Jay Price here in WCF it seems.
Zach Davis: It may be a new Helloween tradition! Tonight we'll see "The Original Doctor" Harkie debut, Hunter Valentyne, Kale Windsor, "Sarah Twilight" and the aforementioned South Street Manace fight in this match.
Shannan Lerch: Jay Price is... weird.. lately. He needs to see a psychiatrist. Or two. Or a team of them.
Zach Davis: We'll see what frame of mind "Sarah Twilight" is in after the REAL Sarah Twilight made her return.
Shannan Lerch: We have a Hellimination preview of sorts, with Joel Hall, Tek, and Steeltoe Joe facing the Church of Dark Saints team of Creeping Death, Zombie McMorris, and Andrew Warhawk.
Zach Davis: Can't wait to see Steeltoe Joe and Andrew Warhawk go at it! The Church got the upper hand on them last week so we'll see what happens live at Helloween.
Shannan Lerch: The 8th Wonder has been booked against... well, we don't know. A mystery opponent. I can only imagine...
Zach Davis: And in our opening match, Adam Young, who has been a real Big Time Jerk lately, faces Mr. Jack Happy. Who is just wonderful.
Shannan Lerch: I don't wanna watch!
Back from commercial and both Adam Young and Jack Happy are in the ring.
Zach Davis: Here we go!
Referee calls for the bell, and Jack is ready to lock up with Adam, But Young is hesitant to lock up into a technical wrestling scrap. Instead, he sends a hard kick to Jack's gut. Jack doubles over and Young follows up with a few hard fists that connect on Happy's jaw. He staggers back a bit and Adam runs in with a clothesline, once again taking him down.
Shannan Lerch: Adam Young looking impressive in the early goings.
Zach Davis: Well, it's not hard to win a back alley brawl against a clown!
Shannan Lerch: Really? Why don't you try it.
Zach Davis: I can't....I uh...just ate!
Adam hauls Jack up from his knealt position and CRACKS him down with a backbreaker. Jack screams out in agony. Young follows up with a trifecta of jumping knees into the kidneys of the downed Mr Happy. Adam looks down at Happy who is crawling on the mat. He kneels down beside Jack, grabbing him by the hair and sending a HARD slap across his face, yelling at him and berating him.
Shannan Lerch: That is uncalled for!
Zach Davis: I think I was wrong about this guy. I like him!
Shannan Lerch: I can understand trying to make a name for yourself, but COME ON!!!
Zach Davis: Hey, you can't take the new guy lightly and Young is asserting dominace right now.
Shannan Lerch: How quickly YOUR tune changes!
Young slaps Jack again, and Happy grunts and growls like a raging lunatic as he lunges at the veteran, taking him down and sending fist after fist at him. He screams incoherently at Young. Jack rips out a clump of Adam's hair and even begins BITING him. The ref warns Jack with a five count. Jack stops biting at three. Jack finally gets off of Young, who staggers to his feet, holding his head where a patch of hair had been ripped out and holding his face, which Jack had bitten.
Zach Davis: Now he's gonna need a rabies shot! That crazy clown bit him!
Shannan Lerch: What happened to it being about competition?
Zach Davis: Biting? HAIR PULLING?!
Adam Young is in a bit of shock as he tries to compose himself. Jack rushes him, forcing him into the corner with a waist lock. And he backs off a moment, getting in Young's face with all sorts of weird and strange hand gestures, waving his hands in front of Jack' face almost as if he was making balloon animals. He starts mumbling at him as if he was going to attack. Young just glares at him with a look of "what the hell are you on?" before sending an elbow to Happy's face. Jack is sent reeling back a few steps. Young follows up with a hard clothesline. Jack's head bounces off the mat and he starts seething, shaking his head around as if he was in a mosh pit and he starts SLAMMING his own head into the mat at least a dozen times as he continues to growl and grunt. Adam Young backs up a step and watches on, puzzled.
Zach Davis: What the hell is that nut doing?
Shannan Lerch: In all my years, I have never seen anything like this! Jack Happy has LOST IT!
Zach Davis: That's a damn understatement!!
Jack gets to his feet and starts walking towards Hoff. Happy begins punching HIMSELF in the face and Jack is FREAKED OUT. Before he knows what is going on, Jack launches him up with a snap suplex. Young goes down and Jack gets back to his feet and starts howling like a wolf. The crowd is roaring in a mixture of cheers and laughter. Adam is slowly getting back to his feet and Jack pulls him into a piledriver. Young is down and out of it. Jack goes for a cover. Ref gets into position.
Young shoots a shoulder up.
Shannan Lerch: Close call there for Young who was a millisecond away from losing this contest.
Zach Davis: I can't believe this idiot was even able to have the ring sense to try and get a three count!
Jack nails a legdrop on Adam, and follows up with another one, getting major air. He tries again for a pinfall but Young scrambles away, rolling out of the ring. He tries to shake off the cobwebs and decides to spend his time outside, as the crowd boos. The ref begins his ten count.
Young walks around one portion of the ring to an open location, pacing back and forth for a moment as Jack is calling him back into the ring.
Young slides back into the ring before a count of ten is reached. Jack starts running in place in the corner as if building up speed ala Saturday Morning Kids Hour style and then he runs in at Young who catches him with a SICK powerslam. Jack goes for the cover. Ref gets into position.
Zach Davis: And Captain Nutcase kicks out!!!
Shannan Lerch: Jack is still in this thing.
Zach Davis: Only because his brain hasn't told him yet that he's getting beat up!!!
Young pulls Jack to his feet, only to be forced back into the corner as Happy charges forward. Adam is again dazed as his back hit the corner hard. Jack makes his way back to the center of the ring. But he stops and stares upwards as if he just had seen the Bat Signal or something. He salutes and as Young makes his way out of the corner, Jack rushes into the ropes, and jumps up, superhero style, with a chop to Adam's forehead.
Zach Davis: (laughing) Holy Headache, Batman!!! What a goof!!!!
Shannan Lerch: Hey, I happen to like Batman!
Zach Davis: You would!
Jack runs back and forth, bouncing off the ropes, and taking giant steps on each pass. Meanwhile, Young gets back to his feet and Jack never sees him until it's too late. Young lands a kick to the midsection and looks to take him over with The End, however, Happy shoves him off and instead he connects with a perfectly executed HAPPY DAZE!
Zach Davis: Wow!!! Look at THAT!
Shannan Lerch: I believe he calls that Happy Daze!!! Whatever the case, he got all of it!!!
Zach Davis: Adam Young was just knocked stupid! I don't believe it!
Mr. Happy isn't finisshed there. He reaches down and contorts Young with a camel clutch, making sure to grab hold of his cheeks and force a sick and twisted smile out of him.
Zach Davis: HAPPY ENDING!
Shannan Lerch: I have a feeling you take a bit too much enjoyment in saying that.
Zach Davis: Most awesome name for a move, ever!
Shannan Lerch: Okay....
Young struggles for a while as he tries desperately to get free, but Jack has it cinched in tightly and Young has no choice but to tap out. The ref sees it and calls for the bell.
Kyle Steel: Here is your winner, JACK HAPPY!
Shannan Lerch: What a match! Jack Happy making an impact on his first pay per view event! What an upset!!!
Zach Davis: Upset? You act like Young ever had a chance.
Shannan Lerch: Changing your tune again? *sigh* Adam Young is a competitor, and a damn good one at that. Show some respect!
Zach Davis: No!
Shannan Lerch: Well folks, maybe my colleague will learn some manners as we get set this this next contest.
Shannan Lerch: I guess we’ll finally get to see who The 8th Wonder’s mystery opponent is!
Zach Davis: Whoever it may be, I’m pretty sure they’re going to win this match.
"8th Wonder" begins to play over the PA System and both members of The 8th Wonder are pushed onto the stage by a WCF staffer. The crowd responds with a huge ovation for the duo. The loud noise causes Kelvin Staylor to cover his ears as Markus Jayson waves his hand out at the crowd.
Staylor hurriedly powerwalks down the ramp toward the ring while Jayson takes his time and shakes his hands with every single person he walks by. Finally down at ringside he slides into the ring and continues waving toward the crowd as Staylor sits in the corner in a fetal position.
Zach Davis: Well, there you have it. The 8th Wonder are here and ready to make a rare PPV appearance.
Shannan Lerch: Big ovation from the crowd here. It seems to more these two lose the more beloved they become.
“Master of Puppets” hits and out from the back walks WCF owner Seth Lerch to the disdain of the sold-out crowd.
Shannan Lerch: I hate this asshole.
Zach Davis: You mean your brother?
Shannan Lerch: Since my pay was cut last week along with everyone else, apparently family means nothing.
Seth has already begun walking down the ramp and slides into the ring. He walks with a hint of swagger and a cocky smile plastered on his face. With a microphone in his hand he walks up to a very, very, very confused Markus Jayson.
Seth Lerch: You ready to find out who your mystery opponent is going to be?
Jayson shrugs his shoulders in response and then picks his nose. Seth makes a motion toward the announcer’s table and immediately the cell hanging from the arena ceiling begins to lower.
Shannan Lerch: …you have to be kidding me. YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!
Zach Davis: Oh god, no! No, no, no. This isn’t good. It looks like the cell for the Hellimination match is pulling double-duty tonight…with The 8th Wonder in it!
Shannan Lerch: This is a disaster. Seth is ACTUALLY trying to kill them!
Speaking of Seth, he’s smiling from ear-to-ear as the cell encloses the ring. Seth turns his attention back toward the stage where an ambulance has just backed up into the space between the crowd and the ramp. Paramedics are at the ready for this match, but why?
Zach Davis: I have a feeling this is about to get much worse…
Seth Lerch: Ladies and gentleman, please welcome the mystery opponent for this match….FUZZY WUZZY…..
Seth Lerch: ….THE KILLER GRIZZLY BEAR!
Yep, that’s right children. Out from the back with his two handlers leading him via leash is Fuzzy Wuzzy a fully grown 800 pound grizzly bear. The poor 8th Wonder immediately starts squealing in horror and hide in the corner. The grizzly is brought to ringside and led into the ring. I’m not sure how he makes it through the ropes, but let’s just imagine that the grizzly ate them. Seth Lerch quickly escapes to the outside and takes position on the ramp as Fuzzy Wuzzy’s handlers let him off the leash. Somewhere Will Ferrell can be found filing a lawsuit against Lerch for stealing his ideas.
Seth Lerch: Um, Markus, Kelvin…you two still with us?
The 8th Wonder duo don’t respond in any fashion whatsoever, worried that even the slightest movement may get them mauled.
Seth Lerch: …yeah, that’s probably for the best. Just listen then. I’m going to have the referee lock the cell now. You’ll be allowed out once that bear has been defeated. Good luck! Don’t die!
With an evil glint in his eye and a sarcastic smile on his face Seth turns and heads up the ramp to a loud chorus of boos. As he gets onto the stage Seth turns and pompously takes a bow before disappearing to the back. Inside the cell the bell rings and the carnage officially begins.
Ding, Ding, Ding.
Zach Davis: I’m not sure I’m going to be able to watch this. Seth has truly gone too far this time.
Shannan Lerch: I wish I knew what has gotten into that man, but I really have no idea what is going on.
Fuzzy Wuzzy stands on all four legs in the middle of the ring looking out at the crowd. He finally notices The 8th Wonder hugging the turnbuckle and slowly begins to approach. He sticks his nose down onto Staylor and begins to sniff. Fuzzy Wuzzly lifts a paw and swats down at Staylor knocking him away from his brother. Staylor quickly scampers to his feet and runs away.
Zach Davis: This may be the first time you’ll ever hear me say this about one of those two…but smart move.
Fuzzy Wuzzy doesn’t bother with Staylor, his attention has turned to Markus Jayson who has his arms wrapped tightly around the turnbuckle and has his eyes closed, as if he’s trying to convince himself that if he can’t see the bear then it must not be real. But it is real. It’s a fucking grizzly bear with his face directly behind him. In a moment of reprieve Fuzzy Wuzzy decides to take a seat right behind Jayson.
Shannan Lerch: Interesting tactic here by the grizzly bear. He seems willing to wait for his opponent to make the first move in this matchup.
Zach Davis: ….really, Shannan?
Shannan Lerch: Shannan Lerch color commentary stops for nothing, Zachary.
OH SHIT SNEAK ATTACK. From behind Fuzzy Wuzzy comes Kelvin Staylor who lands a VICIOUS karate chop to the back of the grizzly’s neck.
Zach Davis: Uh-oh.
Shannan Lerch: *sniffs* I smell murder.
Time stands still for a second as Staylor stares at the back of the bear like ‘what the fuck have I done?’ Irritated, Fuzzy Wuzzy stands back up onto his feet and slowly turns around to stare down his prey. The two mammals lock eyes before Fuzzy grabs a microphone (not literally) and says the following:
Fuzzy Wuzzy: RAAAWWWWRRRR!!!
After doing his best Lisa Lyon RAWR impression, Fuzzy swats at Staylor striking him across the face with his claws. Staylor hits the canvas with blood dripping from the newly made scratches on his face. After watching his brother get semi-murdered Markus Jayson gets the balls to stand up and confront the grizzly.
Zach Davis: No! You idiot! Run away!
Markus Jayson: HEY BUDDY! THAT WAS MEAN!
Fuzzy Wuzzy doesn’t understand English because, well, he’s a bear, but gets pissed off nonetheless. He drops to all fours and turns on Jayson, running at him and then promptly running him over. Jayson is pinned under Fuzzy’s paw when Kelvin Staylor rises back to his feet. He sees the bear getting ready to eat his half-brother’s face and realizes the moral dilemma in front of him…
Zach Davis: What is the thought process here for Staylor?
Shannan Lerch: It’s pretty simple, Zach. Does he let his brother get killed or does he put himself in harm’s way to prevent it?
Undeterred by the wolverine slashes on his face, Staylor confidently up to the back of the bear and taps him on the shoulder.
Zach Davis: Yeah, tap the bear on the shoulder, very smart.
Fuzzy Wuzzy turns toward Staylor and…
Shannan Lerch: THE COOL SHOT!
Zach Davis: Staylor just tried The Cool Shot on the bear!
Shannan Lerch: Somewhere Stephen Colbert is smiling!
Oh, by the way, The Cool Shot doesn’t seem to work against a full grown grizzly bear. Who would have guessed? Certainly not Kelvin Staylor because he’s currently running away from the extremely angry bear. Staylor runs to the end of the ring and then watches in horror as the bear runs after him. Just in the nick of time he scurries out of the way and helps Jayson back to his feet. The 8th Wonder members climb the turnbuckle in some sort of idiotic reasoning that the bear won’t be able to get them up there.
Shannan Lerch: Yes guys, no chance that giant bear can get you up there. Good thinking!
Zach Davis: In all honesty, and I feel terrible for saying this; I really can’t believe they’re not dead yet.
Fuzzy Wuzzy looks at Jayson and Staylor perched on the turnbuckles and decides that Markus Jayson probably tastes better. He approaches and gets ready to swat Markus off of the turnbuckle but Jayson makes the daring decision to jump off the turnbuckle just in the nick of time and lands on Fuzzy’s back. He then proceeds to ride a super pissed grizzly bear like a bull. Jayson lasts on top of the bear for a solid eight seconds, a time that would make even Silvano Alves proud (who the fuck is Silvano Alves?). Anyway, Fuzzy stands up on his back legs and Jayson slides right off onto the mat. The bear turns on him and is about to crush him when Staylor strikes with a flying karate chop to the bear’s face!
Shannan Lerch: Staylor going high-risk!
Zach Davis: High risk is right, because now both of them are on the mat with an angry grizzly bear about to attack.
Shannan Lerch: WAIT! It looks like the cavalry is coming!
Out to a MASSIVE applause comes Johnny Stylez and Tommy Kain. The Misfits run down toward the ring to save to save The 8th Wonder. Stylez has a pair of bolt cutters in his hand and uses them to open the cell door. Kain enters the ring first and quickly shoves Markus Jayson out of the reach of the bear. Jayson crawls out of the ring leaving only Staylor and Kain inside. Fuzzy looks at Staylor, then at Kain, then at Staylor, then back at Kain…
Zach Davis: It must be tough being a bear. You have to make tough decisions like which one of these two you would rather eat.
Shannan Lerch: Pick the dumb one! Tommy Kain is too awesome to die.
Kain is doing his best to draw the bear’s attention in hopes of helping Staylor around the bear and out of the ring. Staylor doesn’t seem to be too concerned though.
Staylor: I think I can take him!
Hah. What a dumbass.
Kain: I’m going to draw his attention. As soon as I do run toward the door!
Staylor: Do you need a marker or crayon for your drawing? I might have one in these pants…
Zach Davis: ….
Shannan Lerch: ….
Tommy Kain rolls his eyes at Staylor’s stupidity and then proceeds to mesmerize Fuzzy Wuzzy with some sweet dance moves. The killer bear looks at Kain and completely ignores his animal desires to eat Kelvin Staylor, allowing him to escape out of the ring with Stylez and Jayson. Kain dances his way out of the cell, closes the door, and…ends the match.
Shannan Lerch: Fuzzy Wuzzy wins via disqualification!
Zach Davis: Shut up, slut. We almost seen two people get mauled by a bear live on television.
“Master of Puppets” plays once again over the PA system.
Shannan Lerch: Here we go again.
Seth Lerch steps onto the stage with a microphone in his hand and an angry scowl on his face.
Seth Lerch: WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU ARE DOING!? You just ruined a good match!
Zach Davis: Uhh…
Seth Lerch: Stylez, Kain, there are consequences for your actions! BIG consequences.
Boos from the crowd.
Seth Lerch: This is official notice that neither of you two are allowed in WCF Superstar Mansion EVER!
Mass confusion. What the fuck is that?
Seth Lerch: YEAH! Just bought it in Reading. It’s a pretty awesome place. I’ve got the finest of the Reading hookers and drug dealers in one location! Take a look!
The jumbotron springs to action with a live shot of the ‘WCF Superstar Mansion.’ It’s a large, but busted ass house that appears more like a crack house than a palace. You can tell from their facial expressions that Stylez and Kain could care less about not being allowed entry.
Seth Lerch: TAKE THAT!
With another display of bizarre behavior under his belt, Seth Lerch disappears to the back. Stylez, Kain and The 8th Wonder don’t quite know what to make of what just happened and begin heading to the back as well.
Zach Davis: Well, I guess we need to go to a commercial break to get this bear out of here.
Shannan Lerch: Almost forgot there is a grizzly bear in the ring. We’ll be right back with the next match!
We come back from commercial and all six men are in the ring.
Zach Davis: The first battle of the night for the Church of Dark Saints; here we go!
Andrew Warhawk starts the match for his team; Steeltoe Joe for his!
Shannan Lerch: YEAH! We already know these two are fighting at One, but we're getting a preview now!
Andrew Warhawk runs at Steeltoe Joe but Joe ducks away from him and fires off with a bunch of lefts and rights! The crowd cheers as the Holy Flame throws Warhawk to the ropes and then hits him with a Flapjack as he comes back!
Zach Davis: Steeltoe Joe, firmly in control!
Warhawk stumbles up and doesn't want any part of Steeltoe Joe! He backs up and tags in Zombie McMorris.
Shannan Lerch: Here comes the former Internet Champion!
Zombie comes into the ring and runs at Steeltoe Joe, as if he's going for a Clothesline. Joe ducks, anticipating it, but McMorris stops in his tracks, faking Joe out, and kicks Joe in the chest instead.
Zach Davis: Wow. Smart wrestling by Zombie McMorris!
He then hits Joe with a Snap Suplex!
Shannan Lerch: Zombie showing some strength with that move on the big man!, maybe being so close to Halloween gives him special powers.
Zach Davis: Uh, okay.
Joe gets back to his feet, however, and tags in his partner Tek.
Shannan Lerch: Tek and Steeltoe Joe are two time Tag Team Champions. Not many teams can say that, actually!
Tek enters the ring and runs at Zombie McMorris, hitting a Running Flip Kick! Zombie hits the mat and gets back up; Tek then hits him with an Implant DDT!
Zach Davis: Tek's on fire!
Tek pins McMorris!
No!, McMorris kicks out.
Shannan Lerch: How about Creeping Death? Look at him there, emotionless, simply staring into the ring, watching this unfold....
Zach Davis: We've yet to get any answers about this. We know he stole Corey Black's former persona but that's about it.
Tek lifts McMorris up and throws him to a neutral corner. He then begins lifting him up.
Shannan Lerch: He's going for his Crazy Legs move!
Zach Davis: That's a Top Rope Belly to Belly Moonsault Slam, and a HELL of a move. It could end it.
Creeping Death finally makes his move. He heads over to the corner as Tek has lifted McMorris up and climbs up with them from the apron, quickly, and before Tek knows what hit him, Creeping Death Headbutts Tek down! This leaves Zombie McMorris on the turnbuckle. Not usually known for his high flying moves, he flies off and hits a Senton Bomb onto Tek!
Shannan Lerch: Damn!
Both Tek and McMorris rest on the mat for several seconds before they both crawl towards their corners... Tek and McMorris tag in Joel Hall and Andrew Warhawk, respectively! Warhawk and Hall meet in the middle of the ring and begin brawling. Warhawk gets the upper hand and takes Joel Hall down with a Hangman's Neckbreaker.
Zach Davis: This has been a close match, but thus far, The Church of Dark Saints sure is holding their own.
Shannan Lerch: I wonder what that means for the rest of the night. I mean, it's Helloween for crying out loud, this is THEIR night.
Joel stumbles up and Warhawk throws him to the ropes. As he comes back, he lifts Hall up for a Death Valley Driver; Hall shifts his weight and lands behind Warhawk, however, Dropkicking him from behind! Warhawk turns around and Hall hits him with a Brainbuster!
Zach Davis: ZOMBIE! OUTNUMBERED! JOEL HALL HITS A FINISHER!
Shannan Lerch: One of his, like, a thousand finishers, but yeah!
Hall pins Warhawk.
NO! Broken up by Zombie McMorris!
Zach Davis: Zombie wants to win this match!
Steeltoe Joe and Tek hit the ring, but Zombie McMorris takes them both down with a Double Clothesline. Tek gets up first and McMorris hits him with a Slingshot Suplex followed by a Big Boot, sending him flying out of the ring!
Shannan Lerch: BOOT PARTY!
McMorris then drops Steeltoe Joe with a Double Arm Spike DDT!
Zach Davis: WORLD TOUR '69!
McMorris drops and pins Steeltoe Joe. Neither men are legal but the referee just wants the chaos to end.
JOEL HALL BREAKS IT UP!
Shannan Lerch: SO CLOSE!
Andrew Warhawk has grabbed his tome from ringside and runs at Joel Hall, hitting him right in the face with it!
Zach Davis: What!
The ref calls for the bell!
Shannan Lerch: Disqualification! Prophecy and Hall win by DQ!
But the Church is out for blood, not wins. Warhawk's book and the strength behind it sends Hall flying out of the ring holding his head in pain. Warhawk and McMorris stomp angrily at Steeltoe Joe and Tek as Creeping Death looks on, still emotionless.
Zach Davis: Wow.
Eventually, McMorris and Warhawk pick Tek and Joe up and toss them out of the ring. Hall helps them to their feet.
Shannan Lerch: The Church may not have officially won the match, but they're standing tall here... this does NOT bode well for Genesis and Pantheon in Hellimination.
McMorris and Warhawk taunt Hall and Prophecy as we go to commercial.
The lights go out in the arena. After several seconds, words written in a bright white begin flashing on the otherwise blackened out Jumbotron. With each fading word, a new word pops up on the screen.
As the last word fades, all five words reappear on the jumbotron at once.
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!?!
The lights slowly come back on as 'Hear Me Now' by Hollywood Undead begins to play through the speakers as Roy Speede steps out on stage. He crosses his arms in an X across his chest, with his right arm underneath his left, and his hands in his fists. He bows his head for several seconds, and his chin rests in the gap between his fists.
Kyle Steel: “Introducing, from Richmond, Virginia, Wrestling Championship Federation's own Silver Lining, he is ROY SPEEEEDE!!”
Roy drops his right arm, and raises his left arm in the air, with his pointer, middle, and pinky fingers extended, and his ring finger and thumb tucked into his palm. His palm is facing the crowd. He drops his arm, and begins jogging to ringside, high-fiving fans as he goes, before climbing onto the apron, and then climbing the outside of the turnbuckle. He raises his left arm, with the same fingers extended as when he was on stage. He leaps from the turnbuckle into the ring. He is handed a microphone and holds it up to his lips.
Crowd: SILVER LINING! < CLAP! > < CLAP! > < CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! >
Crowd: SILVER LINING! < CLAP! > < CLAP! > < CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! >
Roy Speede: “Hey, ladies and gents! Yeah, I know, I know, calm down please. I’ve got something I need to say...”
Crowd: SILVER LINING! < CLAP! > < CLAP! > < CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! >
Roy Speede: “Alright, thanks guys... Anyway, last week, I appealed the match I NEVER LOST, and thanks to Seth, I’m once again your Hardcore Champion.”
Crowd: SILVER LINING! < CLAP! > < CLAP! > < CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! >
Roy Speede: “However, that wouldn’t have happened without an interference from none other than Brad Kane. You may be wondering what I’m doing here talking about this now, but it’s quite simple...”
Crowd: BRAD KANE SUCKS!
Crowd: BRAD KANE SUCKS!
Roy Speede: “Now, now, calm down, guys... I’m here because I realized something last week... Brad Kane still sees me as inferior, and now that he’s retired, he still thinks he can boss me around, and I’m here to call Brad Kane out, right here, right now. I want to speak to that guy face to face.”
Crowd: SILVER LINING! < CLAP! > < CLAP! > < CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! >
Crowd: SILVER LINING! < CLAP! > < CLAP! > < CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! >
Roy Speede: “Come on out, Kane!”
The crowd starts to quiet down some, but nothing happens.
Roy Speede: “Alright, if you’re not coming out now, then I guess I’ll say what I need to say, and you can deal with it next week... Brad Kane, if you’re watching this, and I know damn well that you are, I’m issuing you a challenge, one on one, to a match. You... me... one on one...”
The crowd pops.
Roy Speede: “AT ONE!”
The crowd ROARS!
Roy Speede: “That’s right, Brad Kane faces Roy Speede at One. No tricks, no stipulations, and no opportunity for Corey Black to host the show and give him an advantage. You guys like that idea?”
Crowd: SILVER LINING! < CLAP! > < CLAP! > < CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! >
Crowd: SILVER LINING! < CLAP! > < CLAP! > < CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! >
Crowd: SILVER LINING! < CLAP! > < CLAP! > < CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! >
Roy Speede: “Well, Kane, I’ll give you a week to think about it, and I want a response from you next week live on Slam! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!?!”
Roy drops the microphone and makes his way backstage as the crowd roars with cheers for The Silver Lining.
Miss. Mercedes comes out and is holding a vinyl briefcase. She opens it and pulls out a microphone.
Miss.Mercedes: Shut up. SHUT UP!! I would like to introduce the sexiest man in WCF, he is Chris “Cocky” Guy.
Kidrocks "Cocky" plays and Chris comes out. He stands in the middle of the stage and opens up his zip down jacket to show off his abs. He points to the crowd and then points to his abs and the crowd boos loud. He makes his way to the ring and gets on the turnbuckle and shows his abs.
As the twisted guitar intro to Halestorms "You Call Me A Bitch Like It's A Bad Thing" begins to fill the arena, the lights go down to a hued shade of red. The screen comes alive with a vintage picture reel of paraphelia from Elizabeths career, still shots. Scratches, pops and clicks dance across the screen as the haunting voice echoes through the arena cuing that the Femme ICON is about to arrive.
“You took me to your little crib
Elizabeth emerges, clad in a full body catsuit, knee high boots, center stage, bathed in a sea of red light. Her arms raised high, hips slightly cocked to the side, her presence met with a chorus of boos and rejections. She poses, for a moment then makes her way to the ring, swaying her hips with her strut as she makes her way down the ramp.
“You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing
As she enters the ring she poses in the middle of the ring, basking in the glow of the absolute bitterness and hatred that's being brought down on her.
The lights in the arena go out. Skrillex's "Kill Everybody" starts blaring around the arena as pyros explode on the stage. The curtains part and Henri and his half sister emerge through them. They slowly walk down the ramp way ignoring the boos of the crowd.
Henri nods as he goes to climb up the ringsteps and enters the ring and await his opponent.
Shannan Lerch: We certainly have an odd match-up here with Apathy, Chris Guy and Henri Ducos battling it out for the TV title.
Zach Davis: Yes and who would have thought that at one of the major pay-per-views of the year that we’d be seeing three fresh faces battling it out for the TV title? Apathy has been here for a while now but has yet to really establish herself as a force in WCF.
Shannan Lerch: Exactly, this is after all, Henri Ducos’ third match in WCF and he’s already wearing gold.
The bell rings and all three competitors start measuring each other up looking back and forth at both their opponents.
Zach Davis: He’s definitely looking to be one of the most impressive stars in WCF with how quickly he won the TV title. He could go down as one of the fastest rising stars in WCF history if he keeps to his winning ways.
Henri steps forward and points at Apathy and gestures for her to come forward. She steps forward and and Henri slaps her right across the face hard, staggering her across the ring. Chris Guy grins and steps forward and slaps her on the other cheek, sending her back to Ducos. The crowd boos loudly.
Ducos steps forward and slaps her again, both men step forward towards Apathy. She drops to her knees and simultaneously low blows both men. The crowd roars despite not liking Apathy either. As a matter of fact, the fans hate all three competitors. The referee steps forward and warns Apathy to not try that again or she’ll be disqualified.
Apathy turns to Chris Guy and kicks him in the chest, knocking him over. She starts talking trash to him and picks him up off of the mat. Apathy irish whips Chris across the ring and he reverses it. Apathy bounces off the far ropes and runs back and catches Chris in a flying headscissors. She stands up taunting the crowd and turns around into a big superkick from Henri Ducos. Ducos runs over to the nearby ropes and performs a beautiful asai moonsault onto Apathy. He covers Apathy for the pin but wisely moves out of the way as Chris Guy tries to drop an elbow to stop him, inadvertently dropping it on Apathy.
Ducos kicks Guy in the gut and whips him across the ring and floors him with a beautiful dropkick. Ducos up and bounces off the ropes and nails a cross body block as Guy gets back to his feet, flooring him once more. Apathy is up and bulldogged back to the mat by Henri Ducos, who takes firm control of this match.
Zach Davis: Ducos is showing why he’s the TV champion here.
Ducos picks Apathy up and irish whips her across the ring into the opposite corner. Ducos runs at Apathy and goes for an elbow in the corner, but Apathy moves out of the way, causing Ducos to crash into the turnbuckle. Apathy whips him out of the corner to the other side where Chris Guy is up and the two crash into each other sending Chris Guy into the corner with Ducos hitting the mat hard. He gets up on his hands and knees and Apathy takes advantage of the situation, running across the ring, jumping off of Ducos’ back and throwing herself at Chris Guy, splashing onto him in the corner. Chris Guy goes to the mat and Apathy is back up. She swings at Ducos who ducks the clothesline attempt. He goes to perform a back drop but Apathy flips out of it and lands behind Ducos and shoves him into the ropes. Ducos bounces off chest first and Apathy catches the TV champion in a neckbreaker. Apathy goes for the first real pin attempt of the match.
1..kick out by Ducos, not even close to being ready to be pinned. Both Chris Guy and Ducos are up and Apathy grabs Ducos and tries to repeat the earlier meeting of the minds, but Chris Guy is ready and ducks, back body dropping Ducos over the ropes.
The crowd gasps but stops as Ducos grabs the top rope and lands on the apron outside. Chris Guy turns around as Ducos leaps off the top rope and hits a frankensteiner into a pin. The referee can’t even get his hand down as Apathy dropkicks the TV champion right in the mouth, the momentum flipping the pin over into an attempt by Chris Guy. Apathy delivers a big kick to the back of Chris Guy, causing him to let go of the pin before the referee can even restart the count.
Apathy takes a few steps back and runs at both Ducos and Guy who are standing up and she goes for a big cross body splash on them, but both men catch her. They glance at each other briefly and dump her backwards over the top rope to the outside. Guy grabs Ducos and goes to throw him over the top rope, but Ducos once more lands on the apron outside. Before he can even adjust his footing, Chris Guy clotheslines him off the apron where he bounces off the barricade and falls to the mat outside, holding his back.
Chris Guy smirks out at the crowd and steps to the apron outside and hops down to ringside despite the referee yelling at him. Chris Guy stomps away a few times at Ducos who is still on the mat outside. Chris Guy turns and sees Apathy starting to get up. Guy grabs her by the hair, pulls her up as she yells out and slams her head on the mat apron. He does so a second time and then a third and she falls back to one knee. Chris smirks at the crowd as they boo and he kicks her in the stomach. Chris Guy turns back to Henri and picks him up off of the mat. He kicks Ducos in the gut and lifts him up for a huge powerbomb on the outside. Ducos arches his back, yelling out in pain. Chris turns to the referee who has been counting the trio of participants out.
Guy rolls his eyes, rolls into the ring and back out, breaking the count. The referee yells at Chris and starts telling him to get in the ring again and stay. Chris ignores him and turns back to Apathy. He picks her up and irish whips her across the ringside area into the barricade where she yells out in pain and slides to the floor. Guy shrugs and turns back to Ducos. He starts picking him up but Ducos manages to get a couple of punches into the midsection of Guy who is caught off guard. Chris Guy knees Ducos in the stomach to stop the punching. Chris Guy takes Ducos over to the mat apron and goes to smash his head on the apron as well. Ducos puts a foot up and blocks it. Guy elbows him and tries again but Ducos blocks it once more. Ducos hits Guy with a thumb to the eye and then slams Guy’s head on the apron not once, not twice but three times, causing Chris to stumble back. Ducos floors Chris out of nowhere with a huge roaring elbow.
Henri Ducos turns to the referee and climbs back into the ring, breaking the count once more. Instead of rolling back out, Ducos stands up and looks over towards Apathy who is still resting against the barricade. He then switches his gaze back to Chris Guy who is pulling himself up with the barricade. Ducos glances sideways out at the crowd and then turns and runs across the ring opposite Chris Guy, bounces off the ropes, comes back and leaps over the top rope just as Chris Guy turns around and flattens Guy with a huge corkscrew splash over the top rope!
Zach Davis: Henri Ducos with a huge, risky move that pays off in dividends! The crowd is going crazy.
Shannan Lerch: Apathy is starting to get up down at the other end of ringside with help from the barricade. What’s this?
Henri Ducos notices it, runs down towards her, leaps up onto the barricade halfway down and runs along the top, leaps off near her and delivers a huge kick to the side of the head of Apathy flipping her over backwards into the crowd! Security pushes in to block the crowd from touching Apathy. Ducos gets up and grabs her by her hair and slams her into the barricade a couple of times and then lays her over the barricade itself. Apathy is pretty much out of it as Ducos runs and slides back into the ring as the referee is forced to break the count once more. Before he can even get near Ducos to stop him, Ducos leaps back out to the apron, runs and jumps off hitting a huge leg drop across the back of Apathy as she lays across the barricade. She flips back over to the ringside area.
Across ringside, Chris Guy slides into the ring and starts arguing with the referee to count them out, but Ducos slides into the ring and both men start trading lefts and rights as the referee tries to keep control of the match. Guy irish whips Ducos across the ring, attempts a clothesline that is ducked and is floored as Ducos hits a springboard back elbow. Ducos leans against the ropes, resting as Chris Guy slowly uses the ropes to help him up.
Ducos walks over and goes to grab Chris Guy who punches him in the midsection real hard and then hits him with a boot to the gut. He signals for a powerbomb, but Chris Guy blocks it and reverses into The Prophecy!!
Shannan Lerch: Ducos hits the Prophecy out of nowhere, the referee slides into position!
Ducos hits the mat in frustration. He looks over at the turnbuckle and grabs Chris Guy. He irish whips Chris Guy across the ring to the opposite corner. Ducos runs across the ring and springboards off the ropes, but Guy catches him and hits a huge sidewalk slam in the center of the ring! Guy picks up Ducos and goes for a Face Implant, but Ducos slides behind Guy, shoves him into the nearby turnbuckle hard, causing him to bounce off and stumble backwards into the waiting hands of Ducos who plants him in the center of the ring with The Ascent! Ducos makes the pin…
Apathy is up and slides into the ring.
Apathy dives to make the save.
Apathy hits Ducos in the back but she’s not quick enough to make the save!
Zach Davis: Great match-up between those three but Henri Ducos has a great showing in his first TV title defense. This guy is 3-0 with gold!
Zach Davis: Time for some mindless violence!
The Clockwork Orange House of Fun match is set up. There is a cage wall along one of the ring sides with several weapons The bell tolls twice in the start of For Whom The Bell Tolls by Metallica. When the the first bell starts the lights go out in the arena and after the second bell pyros go off on the stage then fog fills the entrance ramp as orange light fills the arena the music starts as Harkie makes his way down to the ring as he gets in goes to the center looks up at the roof and raises both arms as pyros go off on all four turnbuckle poles then the lights come back on right after that.
"Something in Your Mouth" by Nickleback plays over the loud speakers as Hunter Valentyne makes his way down the ramp to a chorus of boos. He stops in the middle of the ramp as green and black pyros go off behind him.
Hunter slides in underneath the bottom rope as he puts his hands on the top rope and glares menacingly into the camera. He is cascaded by boos as the intensity in this face is shown to the world. Pyros go off in the background as his glare is never changing. The boos continues as the next opponents are introduced.
The lights in the arena shut down and remain disabled blacking out everyone’s vision. Elena Siegman’s “The One” eerie piano introduction creeps out onto the speakers. A spotlight centers onto the stage highlighting Sarah Twilight who has just emerged. He's wearing a "I <3 Steve Orbit" T-shirt. He stands there long enough to joyfully inhale the hatred filling the arena air. Pyros launch themselves down the stage line and explode white sparks above. Sarah begins walking down the ramp and through the thick echoes of booing. He enters the ring in an almost cocky proud fashion, centering himself in the middle while pyros shoot from all four posts and light his self-absorbed poses.
You're Going Down by Sick Puppies starts as the lights strobe to the beat. Smoke fills the entrance way just before Kale Windsor appears on the stage as the crowd reacts. Windsor stands at the edge of the rampway bowing his head for a moment before standing in a worship me type of taunting pose as several pyrotechnics go off behind him and he walks down the ramp way towards the ring. Half way down the ramp way, Windsor pauses for a moment before charging the ring and sliding in under the bottom rope. Kale then slithers to the middle of the ring on his stomach before standing to his feet and rushing to one of the post,jumping onto the middle rope as he does a bow and arrow type pose[i.e. Randy Orton] for a moment before hopping down and crossing the ring to the side ropes, where stands with one foot on the bottom rope and the other on the middle rope.
"4 Words To Choke Upon" by Bullet For My Valentine hits the PA System as the lights in the arena drop. Strobe lights emanate from the stage area as Jay Price explodes from the curtain, his right arm seemingly pulling his left half onto the stage. He's yelling at himself to "come on", to which he can be heard replying "I'm coming, I'm coming". The other half of him finally gives in and "they" head down the ramp together. Along the way down the ramp his left hand tries to slap a few fan's hands, but each time his right hand pulls his left hand back. His right hand then grabs a beer from a fan at ringside but the left hand slaps it to the ground. Finally the halves seem to pull themselves together long enough to roll in under the bottom ropes as his music fades out and the lights come back to normal.
Zach Davis: Jay Price has made the Clockwork Orange House of Fun match HIS match.... let's see how this goes!
As the bell sounds, Harkie grabs a chair that was attached to the cage and throws it wildly at Kale Windsor. Kale catches it, however, and swings it at Harkie. Harkie ducks the swing and kicks Kale in the gut, sending the chair flying. Hunter Valentyne catches it and bashes both Harkie and then Windsor right in the head with it!
Shannan Lerch: OOF! Stiff head shots!
Zach Davis: Not good for the long term careers of these competitors.
Jay Price has begun talking shit to "Sarah Twilight," telling him he's a freak. "Sarah," of course, is saying the exact same things to Jay; neither of them realize quite how mentally unstable they are. Soon they begin brawling.
Shannan Lerch: I've slept with both of those people. This is weird to watch.
Zach Davis: Maybe sleeping with you makes men go insane?
Shannan Lerch: Somebody check on Jonny Fly!
Price whips "Twilight" to the ropes and then Clotheslines him out. "Twilight" gets back to his feet and Price runs and executes a Suicide Dive!, sending both men crashing into the guardrail!
Zach Davis: These two wrestled in one of the best One matches of all time!, Jay Price versus Logan. Classic feud.
Hunter Valentyne is stomping away at both Windsor and Harkie. Valentyne grabs one of the weapons that is hanging from the wires across the turnbuckles: a trash can. As Windsor has stumbled up, Hunter puts the trash can over Windsor's head. He then grabs Harkie from behind and German Suplexes him into the trashcan'd Kale Windsor!
Shannan Lerch: OUCH!
Harkie lands on top of Kale; the referee begins the count.
No!, Hunter pulls Harkie off at the last second. Hunter picks Harkie up but he's had enough. The Original Doctor fires off a Knife Edge Chop, causing the crowd to WHOOOO!, of course. Hunter grimaces in pain as Harkie hits him with a series of chops, each one getting another WHOOO from the audience. Finally, Harkie drops Hunter with a DDT before pinning him!
No!, Hunter kicks out. Harkie stands as Hunter rolls out of the ring and he's met with a trashcan lid to the head by Windsor! Windsor then kicks Harkie and executes a Northern Lights Suplex, onto the previously used trash can!
No!, Harkie kicks out. Windsor gets up and turns around, only to run into Jay Price, who delivers an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex!
Zach Davis: Huge moves right out of the gate here!
BUT SOMEHOW Windsor lands on his feet!
Shannan Lerch: Incredible!
Jay Price didn't see it, and he's met with a Lariat to the back of his head from Windsor. Windsor then drops down and begins choking the life out of Price.
Zach Davis: Who knows which personality of Jay's is wrestling right now, but we know which personality of Kale Windsor we've got... his new, evil personality.
But "Sarah Twilight" is back in the ring now. He's taken off his <3 Steve Orbit shirt and wraps it around Windsor's neck and begins choking the life out of him.
Shannan Lerch: Lots of choking going on. Smart way to win a hardcore match, to be honest.
"Twilight" pulls Windsor in and executes a Sitdown Tiger Bomb!, into pin!
NO! Hunter breaks it up with a crack of another chair to "Twilight's" back! Hunter then reaches up and grabs another weapon... a pumpkin.
Zach Davis: We've seen pumpkins used in professional wrestling before.... who knows what's inside that thing!
Twilight gets to his feet and turns around as Hunter Valentyne launches the pumpkin at his head! It hits him square in the face and bursts, and as it turns out it was filled with thumb tacks and a blood red mist!
Shannan Lerch: What the hell!?
"Twilight" claws at his face and falls backwards over the ropes and to the outside, probably bleeding from the thumb tacks inside the pumpkin and also having the red mist get into his open wounds. Not to mention being blinded. Hunter turns, only to be met with a kick to the gut from Jay Price.
Zach Davis: I bet Price had wanted to use that pumpkin, it was probably his idea to begin with, the sick bastard.
Price hits Hunter with the Busted Grill!
Shannan Lerch: Jay Price has this match in the bag!, there it is!
But Harkie grabs Jay and spins him around... he hits Jay Price with the Harkie Driver!
Zach Davis: OH SHIT!
And finally, Harkie is spun around by Kale Windsor, who hits a Twist of Fate!
Shannan Lerch: FINAL DESTINY!
Kale drops and pins Harkie, hooking the leg.
NO! Hunter Valentyne breaks it up!
Zach Davis: OOF! Kale Windsor almost had it!
Hunter picks Kale up and throws him into the cage wall! Kale crashes into it head first. Price has gotten to his feet and Hunter pulls him in, directing him to the direction of the blood red thumbtacks, still covered in whatever mist had burst from the pumpkin.
Shannan Lerch: Uh oh... this doesn't look good for Jay.
Hunter hits Price with the Valentyme onto the thumbtacks!
Zach Davis: SHIT!
Hunter drops and pins Jay, hooking the leg.
Shannan Lerch: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
Zach Davis: HUNTER VALENTYNE WINS CLOCKWORK ORANGE HOUSE OF FUN!
Hunter's music hits as he stands up, victorious, grinning into the camera after a hardfought matchup.
Shannan Lerch: Hunter gave it his all tonight, and he came out victorious because of that fact, Zach.
Zach Davis: He has a lot of enemies in this company, no doubt, but after tonight's performance he's revealed that he just may be a force to be reckoned with.
Hunter leaves the ring as medics check on the other members of the match.
The camera cuts to the back. There we see a rather large table set up along with two laptops and several large sundaes. Off to the right, is what looks like a portable ice cream unit. The hulking form of Mr. Happy is then seen, clown mask over his masked face as he uses one of the laptops and tries to shovel a sundae's contents into his mouth with his other hand.
After a few moments, Mr. Happy is tapped on the shoulder by Sarah Twilight. In a nervous reaction, Mr. Happy launches the Sundae over his shoulder, causing it to whizz by just inches beyond Sarah's face. Mr. Happy fumbles with the computer like a guilty teenager.
Sarah Twilight: Uh, what the hell are you doing?
Jack Happy: Definately NOT looking at midget porn. Nope. Oh, hiya Sarah!!!! Howdy doo buckaroo!!!!!! I'm glad you could make it.
Sarah Twilight: You're wearing a mask...over a mask. You realize how ridiculous that is?
Jack Happy: I'm all for mask on mask action. Check it: I'm going as a CLOWN for Halloween.
Sarah Twilight: Rolls eyes How....original. I bet you thought of that one all by yourself.
Jack Happy: Yeah, I know! It just came to me in a vision. Kinda like a vision quest if you will, but without Matthew Bodine and Madonna singing 'Crazy for You.'
Sarah Twilight: What the hell are you even talking about? Ugh!
Jack Happy: So, anywhos, I'm glad you could make it. I got plenty of ice cream. Did you bring any treats?
Sarah Twilight: Do I look like a trick or treater? No, I don't carry snacks around.
Jack Happy: Anything at all? Candy....mints....
Sarah Twilight: I said I don't have anything. Are you deaf or dumb?
Jack Happy: Just as long as it isn't Freedent. I mean, seriously, that's not gum. That's just rubber in a package. Don't get me wrong, some rubbers should be in a package.
Sarah Twilight: Are you seriously this ignorant? Or is it the entire clown thing? Am I supposed to go ha ha over this? Honestly, I'm not finding this very amusing. Crude humor usually isn't.
Jack Happy: Menudo? Wasn't much for the band. Ricky Martin was okay, but the rest of them? Meeehhhh......
Sarah Twilight: What?! I never said anything about some shitty band.
Jack Happy: Oh, the Mexican dish. Funny, some people would STILL think you'd be talking about Ricky Martin, but no...I don't have any Menudo to eat either. Just some ice cream. And you can scream for Jack's cream if you want. Or not. Either way, have some. Ice cream that is. Tee hee.....gee I'm feeling all 15ish again.
Sarah Twilight: Shakes her head Whatever. I'm not interested in the ice cream or whatever the hell it is you're doing on the laptops.
Jack Happy: Alliance or Horde?
Sarah Twilight: Excuse me?
Jack Happy: Wanna be a warlock? You can hang with me and my hyena.
Sarah Twilight: Who the hell told you that I'm a witch? And no, I don't want to be a warlock on your game.
Jack Happy: Fine be a female warlock.
Sarah Twilight: That's not possible.
Jack Happy: Sure it is. I'll get my panda.
Sarah Twilight: I thought you had a hyena?
Jack Happy: Don't be silly. You can tame a hyena if you're a hunter though.
Sarah Twilight: But...you're a panda?
Jack Happy: He's actually a monk.
Sarah Twilight: Look, just....just...MAKE SENSE!
Jack Happy: Sure I have mint. Here.
Sarah, frustrated, begins to eat the mint ice cream. Jack gets both Warcraft accounts up and running. Sarah looks lost.
Sarah Twilight: Jack, I really don't play this game. I can see how you've gotten confused with your Warcraft, but I practice Witchcraft. There's a very big difference.
Jack Happy: I tried looking for that, but Blizzard doesn't make a game called that.
Sarah Twilight: What are you twelve? It's not a game.
Jack Happy: Ohh, so you're a hardcore gamer. Wish I could be that devoted. However, with wrestling, bowling, and stalking Britney Spears as well as Jessica Alba, I just don't have the time. Maybe we could go bowling some time?
Sarah Twilight: No, we can't.
Jack Happy: It's all in how you hold the ball. I use a blue one. In fact I have several of them. You could use a couple if you wanted. So it would all be in how you hold my blue balls.
Sarah Twilight: Are you TRYING to get your ass kicked?
Jack Happy: In between gulping down ice cream and getting it all over his mask in the process. Yeah...see...you want to make sure you have a nice grip on mah balls. Otherwise, mah balls will get the better of you. You don't want mah balls just rolling all over the place do you? You want to OWN mah balls and work them over!
Sarah Twilight: I am about to rip out your throat and shove it up your as....no, you know what? Not worth it. I'm finished with all of this. I have a match to prepare for.
Jack Happy: Sure!!!! Hey, are you gonna finish your sundae? Cause if you're not...I'm just saying...waste not, want not.
Sarah Twilight: Yeah you have fun with that. You can go bother someone else with the warlocks and elves or whatever kinda crap that is. Magic the gathering or whatnot.
Jack Happy: Okay, but the real magic is watching how fast I can eat all this ice cream. NOMNOMNOMNOM
Sarah walks away shaking her head as our camera cuts away
Doc Henry and Benjamin Atreyu get nose to nose, Their eyes are deadlocked and they both look ready to explode. The referee orders them to their corners and calls for the bell. As the bell rings the two charge one another, Henry goes for a baseball slide into Atreyu's knee but the returning star is quick and hops up over him as Doc quickly springs up himself. Atreyu goes to grab him only to be caught with a spinning kick to the gut, followed by a European uppercut. Benji is stunned, Henry grabs him tightly and delivers a nicely executed suplex that sends him CRASHING into the mat.
Zach Davis: Doc Henry wasting no time! He looks to have a successful showing against the returning Atreyu. And what a way to start!
Shannan Lerch: Yeah, well look again!
As Henry adroitly hops up he turns around only to see Benjamin Atreyu stand up and glare at him as if the suplex had almost no effect on him. The crowd boos.
Zach Davis: Henry not deterred by Atreyu's arrogance.
Shannan Lerch: What arrogance? He got up after the suplex. That is impressive, not arrogant!
Henry rushes at Atreyu quickly and delivers a nice tackle, taking Benjy off his feet, Doc lands a right hand to the face but as he goes for another one, Atreyu grabs his head and pulls it down to his waist, his legs wrap around his head as he begins to lock in a triangle hold and the crowd boos like crazy.
Shannan Lerch: This is going to be a tough night for Doc Henry. Though I hope he holds him there for a while. Southern Gentleman, I love the view as his buttocks gleam just right under the...
Zach Davis: Shannan!
Shannan Lerch: Sorry, I was just saying. I mean, Benjy is a hottie as well.
Zach Davis: You...this isn't the time for that!
But Doc, seeing this wiggles his way free and flips over locking in an armlock submission on Atreyu, who uses his strength and lifts up the Southern Gentleman and slams his to the mat.
Shannan Lerch: And look at that. Power pure and simple!
Zach Davis: Wait, but look at this!
Henry gets back to his feet .The slam shaking him up a bit, but the adrenaline keeps him going. Benjy wastes no time as he moves in at Henry. he delivers a kick to the gut that doubles Benjy over. he follows up by grabbing him for an Irish whip, but it's reversed. Atreyu grabs him and whips his into the ropes as he comes off he catches his and lifts his up into a military press, does one, two, three shoulder presses and drops his to the mat like a sack of potatoes as he lands down hard. Henry slowly gets up only to be caught by a bicycle kick to the face, sending him flying into the corner. Benjy rushes his with a running lariat, but Henry dodges and he hits nothing but turnbuckle shaking the ring and shaking himself up in the process.
As Benjy spins around from the impact, he is caught by a jumping neck-breaker from the confederate, he rolls back up to his feet up only to be hit in the face by a Somersault Axe Kick. Benjy is stunned as Henry delivers a kick that is almost a low blow, perhaps unintentionally. he is warned by the ref. Henry follows up with a double underhook DDT. he goes for the cover and our ref is down in position for the count.
Benjy kicks out with authority, launching Henry up off of him. But he stays on the offensive and before Atreyu can get himself to his feet Henry sends a VICIOUS kick into his chest. Benjy rolls to his side, shaking off the cobwebs.
Shannan Lerch: Benjy able to kick out, and Henry is still on the offensive!
Zach Davis: he knows how to wear someone down, and most importantly to keep the offensive pace going.
Shannan Lerch: Benjy is no slouch either, Zach!
Zach Davis: Oh absolutely not. He doesn't seem to have lost a step in his absence.
Henry moves in, giving Benjy no time to regain himself. he grabs his arms and pulls them back, placing his foot on the back of his head and he SHOVES his face and jaw into the canvas.
Shannan Lerch: Curb Stomp!!!
Zach Davis: Benjy is clearly dazed! I don't think was expecting his to put the fight to him like this!!
Benjy struggles to his feet and Henry is there on the attack as he charges him. Though Benjy catches his, hugs his tightly, connects with a head butt and unleashes an overhead belly to belly suplex, sending Henry through the air and down to the mat.
Zach Davis: Back and forth action. Both competitors giving it their all. Henry wants to put himself in a better position after tonight.
Shannan Lerch: He's already the Confederate Champion, what more does he need?
Zach Davis: You are impossible sometimes!
Back in the ring, Benjy follows up his suplex as he whips Henry into the ropes and connects with a tilt a whirl back breaker, he is down and Benjy grins confidently.
Shannan Lerch: Benjy has been displaying his power all night. This is where he can take advantage.
Zach Davis: Henry can get back into this thing like a hiccup. He can be just that quick. However, to Atreyu's credit, so can he.
Benjy picks up the slightly dazed Henry, lifts him up and places his on the top turnbuckle, he climbs up with his and looks out to the crowd as they boo loudly. Henry punches Benjy in the face, but Atreyu retaliates and Henry is stunned but not as much as Benjy thinks. Doc grabs his head and judo tosses him out of the ring from the turnbuckle as Benjy flies through the air and hits the cement floor hard. Henry quickly spins around points to the crowd and hits a flying elbow drop on Atreyu, WHAM. Both are down now and after some time, Henry is the first to his feet. Benjy climbs back to his feet and he rushes at him, but Henry catches him unexpectedly with a drop toehold and he falls down FACE FIRST into the ring steps. His head is now BUSTED open!!!
Zach Davis: Oooh! This one takes a turn for the worst. I don't think Henry intended on using the ring steps. he just reacted out of instinct.
Shannan Lerch: He did it on purpose! Disqualify him! Oh wait...he's kinda hot....but he's a confederate so yes, disqualify him!
Henry rolls him into the ring and quickly follows him in as he stands up, he delivers a HARD kick to his gut. He doubles over and he rolls over him with a sunset flip, executing it nicely on Atreyu, count….
Shannan Lerch: No! Benjy kicks out!!
Zach Davis: What a close call!
Benjy makes it to his feet. Henry focuses on the bloody mess that is his face, and he starts nailing HARD punches at him, further spilling his blood as he nails the wound. he jumped around, hooking his arms for perhaps a crucifix pin or octopus stretch, but Atreyu is able to steady his balance and he drops Henry down HARD with a Samoan drop. He stays on him, picking Doc up and takes him down with a thunderous POWERSLAM. Benjy flexes and the crowd starts BOOING like MAD. Henry, reaches up and surprises him with a schoolboy roll up. Ref gets into position.
Benjy rolls out of it and quickly back to his feet. As Henry gets to his, Atreyu is there with a forearm smash that sends him back down.
Shannan Lerch: That was a close one!
Zach Davis: You can't be showboating when you're in the ring with someone as crafty as Henry!
Shannan Lerch: I agree with that, he has proven it a few times now.
Zach Davis: So far no one has a clear cut advantage. This can go either way. What a contest for both of them!
Henry quickly gets back to his feet and rushes Benjy who sends him up and over with a back body drop...he flies over the top rope and hits the FLOOR on the outside!!!! The crowd is going BONKERS! Cheering, Booing...just getting deeply into it all.
Zach Davis: Henry down and out of it. Benjy Looking to capitalize.
Shannan Lerch: What is he doing? Oh no.....
Henry pulls himself up using the guardrail and as he turns around, Benjy comes FLYING at him with a Diving Shoulder Block THROUGH THE ROPES and to the OUTSIDE that fully connects!!! he goes back down and CRASHES into the guardrail. Benjy gets back to his feet, hoisting Henry up with a military press and tosses his back into the ring over the middle rope. He hops up onto the apron and slingshots himself over the top rope with a legdrop. He goes for the cover. Clarke in position.
Kick out, Henry kicks out, as Benjy looks at the ref and smiles sarcastically.
Shannan Lerch: Too close, come on Benjy stop playing with him and finish this!!
Benjy looks at the crowd, grinning he moves about eight paces toward Henry and rotates his arms looking to end this. Henry is up, Benjy launches at him but as he comes to Doc, he does a forward roll as Atreyu hits air. He spins around only to be caught by a jumping neckbreaker. Henry is staring down at him like a Lion. he has his eyes locked on him as he hoists himself up to the middle turnbuckle. Atreyu gets to one knee, shaking off the cobwebs again and he is met by the Confederate Rocket! Benjy is sent CRASHING into the mat and looks to be out. Henry makes the cover. Ref gets into position.
Benjy manages to kick out and the crowd is booing like never before!
Shannan Lerch: Phew! That was damn close!
Zach Davis: They are throwing everything at each other and neither of them will stay down. This is a very important match-up! Henry needs a victory here to get back into the swing of things, and Atreyu definitely would like to put the exclamation point on his return with a victory here tonight.
Henry looks at the ref who shrugs in shock. he returns to the assault on Benjy and starts pounding away at his face. Fist after fist he sends at him, further battering his open wound. he sends another hard fist and it is CAUGHT by Benjy. He forces Doc back and gets himself to his feet, spinning belly to belly SLAM!! And Henry is down.The wind is knocked out of him, but Benjy is barely able to move himself after the vicious assault he endured. He pulls himself to his feet, woozily, and he is teetering with his balance. Henry gets to his feet and tries a high kick to the face, but Benjy ducks it and he spins completely around. Benjy whips Doc into the ropes, he comes back on the return and he catches him WHAM! Black Eye Sonata!
Shannan Lerch: He nailed it!! And he got ALL OF IT!!
Zach Davis: Henry is in a lot of trouble right now! It could be over right here!
The crowd is on their feet ready to RIOT as Benjy makes the cover. The ref gets into position.
Shannan Lerch: It's academic here!
Henry manages to get a foot on the rope and Benjy stares at the ref in disbelief!!!
Shannan Lerch: What?! No way! he couldn't have just gotten out of that!
Zach Davis: Your eyes do not deceive you Shannan, he did indeed just manage to save himself on that one.
Benjy pulls Henry to his feet, and he is barely moving now. He hauls Doc up for a powerslam and instead, Doc slides down and shoves him off. But Atreyu quickly turns around and rushes him with a shoulder tackle, sending him through the ropes and once again to the outside.
Shannan Lerch: Henry once again on the outside. Benjy in control.
Zach Davis: Both of these two are worse for wear. Benjy is staggering and dazed still, Henry is out of it....this is a fight neither of them will soon forget!
Henry pulls himself to his feet and Benjy comes diving over the top rope again and he sidesteps him. He meets nothing but FLOOR!!! The crowd begins to CHEER and Henry starts putting the boots to Benjy who isn't moving.
Shannan Lerch: Oh my GOD! He may have broken his neck!!!
Zach Davis: He went to the well, one too many times!!!
He pulls the almost lifeless Benjy to his feet and rolls him into the ring. he follows behind him and stands over him as he still does not move. Measuring him now, just to make certain.
Shannan Lerch: This doesn't look good! The match could be over right now!
Zach Davis: I can't believe he is even moving after that! This is insane!
Benjy starts pulling himself to his feet, he is VERY out of it now, and as soon as he is vertical, Henry grabs him for the Gambler's Hand. However, Benjy fights his way out of it with everything he has and instead lifts Henry into a burning hammer position. Requiem in D Minor! And Henry is down and out. Ref slides into position as Atreyu basically falls on top of Henry for the cover.
Kyle Steel: Here is your winner ...BENJAMIN ATREYU!
Zach Davis: What a match! Both men fighting as if this was our main event here tonight. The action was nonstop from bell to bell. Both men putting on a hell of a show for us.
Shannan Lerch: And with this victory, Atreyu begins his return with a lot of momentum on his side.
Shannan Lerch: Up next we got...
And, as usual, its Shannan who gets cut off. People get on their feet as...
"What's Golden" by Jurrassic 5 begins to play as out comes a new face to WCF. A young black man with a huge smile on his face. Right next to him is a somewhat familiar face, Brad Kane's little sister Freya. The couple enter the ring as Freya has a microphone handed to her.
Freya Davis: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Freya Davis, formerly Kane. I am Brad Kane's little sister. The man standing next to me is my husband, Dexter Davis. As you can see, if you have racial issues, you better learn to get past it. I know there are some rednecks here in WCF. Learn to deal with it.
Freya gives her husband a kiss and hands the microphone to Dexter. He smiles into the crowd as the ladies are creaming over his abs. Like literally orgasming in the crowd. Dexter smiles which sends them, and Freya into a frenzy.
Dexter Davis: Sup, y'all. I am Dexter Davis as my lovely phat assed wife just said. Been wrestling for a couple of years. My brother in law said that if I wanted to work, come on into this place. He got his start here, had some success. I hope to follow in his footsteps. Now...
Dexter stops speaking as what the hell is this? A MOTHERFUCKING ZOMBIE IS COMING TO THE RING. THE ZOMBIE OF LUSCIOUS JACKSON! Everyone is all like da hale right now as Zombie Jackson gets into the ring.
Dexter Davis: The hell is this?
Zombie Luscious takes the microphone from Dexter and looks at him.
Zombie Luscious: Y'all, Satan said I could come back up tonight to celebrate a huge day in WCF. While I might be dead, WCF has a black man wrestling again. YEAH, A BLACK MAN WITH A WHITE WOMAN! You, Dexter, are meant to stick it to these crackas. You, Dexter, are the great black hope for WCF. I want you to do what no other black man has done, win a World Title.
Random Fan: RECKLESS JACK WAS BLACK IN 2004!
Zombie Luscious: No matter who was black in the past, you, Dexter Davis, is the black community's great hope to accomplish something in WCF. You got the white woman, you got money, you got a big cock, all you need now is the World Title.
Dexter blinks a couple of times before looking at Freya. Freya looks back at Dexter before they both look at Zombie Luscious.
Zombie Luscious: Good luck to you, Dexter Davis. Stick it to the white man!
With that Zombie Luscious leaves the ring as Dexter takes the microphone back. He's speechless for a moment or two before raising the microphone.
Dexter Davis: Okay then. Well, I hope to accomplish some good things here in this company. I hope to gain the support through my wrestling skill and through nothing else. Whatever the hell that was, I don't want to get ahead based on skin color or if I'm shoving my dick into the commish's sister every night. I do what I do based on skill. Y'all are going to find that out soon enough. So have a good show, have a great Halloween, and have a good one.
Random Fan: FUCK HER IN THE RING.
Dexter smirks before dropping the microphone and picking up Freya like a bag of potatoes. The two leave the ring as Freya's ass is on parade for all to take numerous pictures of.
Zach Davis: Well there is the newcomer, Dexter Davis. But Luscious is a zombie from Hell? I wish I could say I'm shocked...
Shannan Lerch: Did you see his abs? I might have to go black... Yum...
Zach Davis: We’ll finally see the return of “Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane RIGHT NOW!
Shannan Lerch: Last we seen Scoutmaster he was getting beat down by a large contingent of WCF superstars, including his opponent tonight Tommy Kain and the rest of The Misfits.
Zach Davis: This is a revenge match indeed for Slane, but that doesn’t mean Tommy Kain is going to allow him to have it.
“Follow Me, Boys!” plays as Stuart Slane marches out from the back, silently mouthing the lyrics to his theme as he heads down the ramp. He does a circuit around the outside of the ring before climbing the steps and entering. After some last minute old timey calisthenics (Indian twists, deep knee bends, etc) The Scoutmaster goes his corner. He hands his hat and sash off to a WCF stagehand and assumes a fighting position.
Shannan Lerch: Before his exit Scoutmaster was as hot as any WCF wrestler. We’ll see if he can keep up that momentum after the time off.
“Bar Room Hero” by The Dropkick Murphys begins to play over the PA system and Tommy Kain makes his way down to the ring with a signature dance move.
Zach Davis: Nobody dances like Tommy Kain!
Shannan Lerch: He’s a sexy man, that’s for sure.
Kain looks out to the crowd and sings the chorus of Bar Room Hero with the crowd. Becoming even more excited when he hears OY OY OY! Kain slides into the ring and continues singing along to the music until it fades out.
Zach Davis: Looks like we’re about to get underway with the last match before Hellimination!
Shannan Lerch: Either way with these two men in the ring, I think they have a chance to steal the show right here.
Ding, Ding, Ding.
The referee rings the bell and Kain and Slane step forward and immediately lock up. Slane comes away with a side headlock but quickly releases and…
Shannan Lerch: A slap straight to the face of Tommy Kain!
Zach Davis: A slap isn’t a usual part of the Scoutmaster arsenal,
Violently, Scoutmaster follows with three more slaps to Kain’s face before Tommy is able to respond by hitting an uppercut. The punch does little to the larger Slane, who responds with a punch to the forehead, then another, and finally a running clothesline that takes Tommy Kain down to the mat. Not willing to allow Kain any time to recover, Slane picks up his opponent and hits him with a pumphandle gutbuster.
Shannan Lerch: Scoutmaster going for the quick cover!
Zach Davis: …easy kick out for Tommy Kain.
Shannan Lerch: Regardless, Slane is already back on the attack.
Scoutmaster drops a knee onto Tommy Kain’s chest and then follows with an elbow to the exact same spot. Slane gets to his feet and takes a few steps back, waiting for Tommy Kain to get back to his feet. With the help of the ropes Kain gets up, but Scoutmaster immediately charges looking for a spear. Kain swiftly dances out of the way. With a little flair, Kain finishes his dance move to the delight of the crowd, turns, and clocks Stuart Slane with a punch that forces him to the mat.
Shannan Lerch: BOOM!
Zach Davis: Tommy Kain looking to swing the momentum of this
Shannan Lerch: Looks like Tommy Kain is going to the top rope!
Before Tommy Kain can even attempt a move from the top rope, Scoutmaster lunges toward the ropes and shakes them violently, forcing Kain to fall awkwardly back onto the canvas. Scoutmaster approaches his fallen opponent and helps him up. Tommy Kain has other plans though, and sends a kick to Slane’s gut and follows with a DDT.
With Scoutmaster laid out, Tommy Kain once again scales the turnbuckle. He jumps off and hits Slane with a flying elbow and immediately hooks the leg for a pin attempt.
Zach Davis: NOPE! Scoutmaster kicks out!
Kain grabs Scoutmaster by the hair and drags him up to his feet. Slane is whipped against the ropes and Tommy Kain attempts a big boot on the bounce back, but the intelligent Scoutmaster ducks the attempt, turns, and hits him with a hangman’s neckbreaker!
Shannan Lerch: Classic Scoutmaster there. Tommy Kain is in a bit of trouble right here.
While still on the mat, Slane locks Tommy Kain into a bow and arrow hold and the rolls him over forcing his knees into Kain’s back. Kain immediately yells out in anguish and tries to flail around with his free hands. After a good thirty seconds in the hold, Kain is finally able to roll of Slane’s knees and break the hold.
Zach Davis: That looked excruciating. Kain was able to get himself free, but the damage has been done.
Shannan Lerch: Stuart Slane is in full control of this match right now, and looking at his face, he’s ready to end it.
Scoutmaster quickly grabs hold of Tommy Kain and lifts him up off of his feet. Slane whips Kain into the ropes and grabs him as he bounces back and quickly takes him down to the mat with the…
Zach Davis: SCOUTMASTER SLAM!
Shannan Lerch: Just like that this one could be over! Scoutmaster has the leg hooked!
Zach Davis: NO! KICKOUT! JUST IN TIME!
Shannan Lerch: Wait, look at this! Tommy Kain with the roll-up!
NO! SLANE KICKS OUT!
Zach Davis: Holy shit, Tommy Kain was almost able to steal this
Shannan Lerch: Either way, he’s just sent a very clear message to all of us that he’s not close to be finished in this match.
Both competitors rise back to their feet. Sweat pouring from each of their bodies. Slane smiles smugly across the ring and then attacks. Scoutmaster drives his shoulder into Tommy Kain’s chest, forcing him back into the turnbuckle. Kain responds by clubbing Slane over the back and freeing himself from the corner. Kain whips Scoutmaster back into the corner and splashes his body weight onto him. As Slane is jarred out of the corner Tommy Kain grabs him and hits him with the Hoosier Hangover!
Zach Davis: Tommy Kain now going for another cover!
Shannan Lerch: NO! ….somehow Scoutmaster is able to kick out!
Tommy Kain slams his hands on the mat, and quickly spins back to his feet. He stares down at Slane for a brief second before continuing his attack. Kain takes his boot and shoves it under the chin of Slane and presses down with all of his weight. Scoutmaster grabs the boot, and spins Kain down to the mat and
Zach Davis: Ankle lock by Scoutmaster!
Shannan Lerch: NO! Kain has already broken the hold.
Kain kicks Slane away and once again both men rise to their feet. This time its Tommy Kain wearing a smug smile as he does a little cha-cha slide in celebration of Slane’s failed attempt at an ankle lock. Scoutmaster approaches his dancing opponent and reaches out for him, but Kain snaps out of dancing mode just in time and swings left hand into Scoutmaster’s temple. Slane stumbles backwards where he’s taken to the mat with a perfectly executed dropkick from Tommy Kain.
Shannan Lerch: Back and forth these two men go, with neither individual getting the advantage for too long.
Zach Davis: A well fought match between two extremely skilled wrestlers, Shannan, no doubt about it.
Kain waits until Stuart Slane gets to his feet before springboarding himself off the ropes and hitting Scoutmaster with a shooting star press, right into yet another cover.
Shannan Lerch: Here we go again!
Zach Davis: KICKOUT BY SCOUTMASTER!
Tommy Kain isn’t done yet, however. He quickly gets up and brings Slane back to his feet. Kain sends a wink out to the audience and then utterly destroys Slane with the Tommy Driver!
Shannan Lerch: TOMMY DRIVER! THIS ONE IS OVER!
Zach Davis: What a huge win for Tommy Kain….
Shannan Lerch: NO! NO!
The crowd gasps in shock as Scoutmaster shoots his shoulder into the air just in the nick of time!
Zach Davis: Unbelievable! Slane just kicked out from the Tommy Driver!
Shannan Lerch: There is something to be said for the will of Scoutmaster in this match. He wants his revenge, and he’s not leaving this ring without it.
Wide-eyed and in disbelief, Tommy Kain rises back to his feet. He watches in astonishment as Scoutmaster Stuart Slane rises back to his feet as well. Kain runs at him trying to a football tackle, but Slane side steps it. Kain hits the ropes and springboards himself back toward Slane. Scoutmaster grabs him out of the air and takes him down with a powerslam.
Shannan Lerch: Big time power right there from Scoutmaster.
Zach Davis: It’s about that time Shannan, he’s got to be looking at finishing this match off.
Scoutmaster gets back to back to his feet, bringing Tommy Kain back up with him. Slane quickly drops him with a running bulldog and then locks him in to the ‘Knotted Up.’
Zach Davis: KNOTTED UP!
Shannan Lerch: Yet another excruciating maneuver here by Scoutmaster Stuart Slane. I’m not sure if Tommy Kain is going to be able to get out of this one.
With the hold locked in Kain begins to claw his way toward the ropes. As the seconds tick by Kain continues to inch little by little toward the ropes. He’s within an arm’s length and reaches out…
Zach Davis: Kain’s going to get the ropes!!
Shannan Lerch: NO! Scoutmaster just pulled him back to the middle of the ring!
Zach Davis: Tommy Kain is in BIG trouble right now.
Shannan Lerch: You know there is nothing more Slane wants than to see Tommy Kain tap out at his hands.
Tommy Kain has other ideas, however. He again begins clawing toward the ropes. The pain has to be overcoming him, but the brawler guts it out and continues toward the ropes…reaching out….
Zach Davis: HE’S GOT THEM!
Slane doesn’t care, and keeps the hold locked in several seconds longer until the referee forces him off.
Shannan Lerch: This has to be discouraging for Scoutmaster. Once again Tommy Kain is able to fight his way out of one of his holds.
Once more, the damage has been done. Tommy Kain isn’t able to get to his feet. Scoutmaster takes advantage by grabbing Kain by the head and slamming his knee into it. Tommy Kain falls backward onto the mat. Scoutmaster drops a leg on him, and then picks him back up. Sarcastically, Slane lets go of his hold on Tommy Kain allowing the former Hardcore Champion to slump down to the mat, unable to maintain his own weight.
Zach Davis: Well, Scoutmaster may have not gotten Tommy Kain to tap, but he’s severely disabled him. He needs to take advantage of this quickly.
With Tommy Kain lying on the mat Scoutmaster Stuart Slane decides to try and end this match once again. Tommy Kain is picked up to his feet where Scoutmaster readies him for the kill shot. Slane lifts Kain with a half nelson locked in and goes for the Olympic Slam…..
Shannan Lerch: SCOUTMASTER SLAM! AGAIN!
Zach Davis: NO! NO! NO! Tommy Kain broke free!
Kain slides down Scoutmaster’s back. Slane turns quickly to face him and is met with a kick to the gut and then planted with a running bulldog.
Shannan Lerch: What a turn around by Tommy Kain!
Kain is still feeling the effects of Scoutmaster’s ‘Knotted Up’ submission maneuver, and has to use the ropes to get up to his feet. Slane rises back to his feet as well. The two men once more stare each other down.
Zach Davis: Something has to give here, Shannan. Who is it going to be?
The Scoutmaster motions for Kain to bring it. Kain runs at Scoutmaster, but Slane ducks a Clothesline attempt, gets Kain in a Half Nelson...
Shannan Lerch: SCOUTMASTER SLAM!
Slain drops down and pins Tommy Kain.
Zach Davis: This has to be it!
Shannan Lerch: Tommy Kain gets his foot on the ropes!
....BUT SETH LERCH COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND PUSHES IT OFF AND BACK INTO THE RING!
Zach Davis: Oh what the hell!?
Seth quickly runs back up the ramp as the referee counts the pin. Neither Stuart Slane nor Tommy Kain saw what happened. Slane stands up and gets his arm raised.
Shannan Lerch: What a story! What a huge comeback! Stuart Slane wins his return match against one of the men who took him out!
Zach Davis: Uh, yeah, with some help, I'd say...
Slane leaves the ring as Kain stands up, wondering what happened. As he does, he looks at the jumbotron and sees a replay of Seth knocking his foot off the ropes. Pissed, he storms to the backstage.
Shannan Lerch: Uh oh. I wouldn't want to be Seth right now! Or ever.
Master of Puppets hits.
Shannan Lerch: Annndd the time has come to find out the WCF Classic 2012 participants! Hopefully Seth has avoided Tommy Kain.
Seth steps out from the back, excited with how the PPV has been going thus far. He heads to the ring.
Zach Davis: Sixteen wrestlers will compete in an all star tournament, about a month before the biggest show of the year, One. This tournament could make or break careers.
Seth slides in and grabs a microphone.
Seth Lerch: Before I talk about the upcoming WCF Classic, which will conclude at The End of the World, I want to talk about tonight. We have one more match... Hellimination. The announcers will tell you, but this is a HUGE match, one of WCF's signature events. And I can't wait for it.
The crowd pops.
Seth Lerch: I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE CHURCH OF DARK SAINTS TO TAKE OUT PANTHEON AND GENESIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!
Seth Lerch: That said, if any member of Genesis or Pantheon that is included in the WCF Classic tournament is injured at the hands of the Church, they will, of course, be replaced. That said, the sixteen competitors that will compete in this tournament representing the best of the best in WCF are...
THE TELEVISION CHAMPION, HENRI DUCOS!
THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION, FRANK PATRICK VENABLE!
THE HARDCORE CHAMPION, ROY SPEEDE!
THE UNITED STATES CHAMPION, STEVE ORBIT!
THE INTERNET CHAMPION, JOHNNY STYLEZ!
THE GOD OF INSANITY, OBLIVION!
THE MAVERICK ELITE, ODIN BALFORE!
THE MISTRESS OF MISCHIEF, SARAH TWILIGHT!
THE SCOUTMASTER, STUART SLANE!
NATHAN VON LIEBERT!
THE HELLBILLY, WAYLON CASH!
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...
The crowd pops for the list!
Zach Davis: What a HUGE list of participants!
Shannan Lerch: This could.. HONESTLY.. be the biggest and best tournament the WCF has ever seen. Wow. What a list.
Zach Davis: And we're about to see a large portion of these wrestlers compete in the Hellimination match in a few moments!
Seth Lerch: And with that, I say this.... OBLIVION FOR PRESIDENT 2012!
Master of Puppets plays again as Seth exits the ring and heads to the back.
Shannan Lerch: The WCF Classic 2012 begins on Slam, I wonder who will face who from that list?
Zach Davis: The time has come.
Shannan Lerch: This match is a "first ever," Zach, and we don't get much in the way of "first ever"s in a company that has been open for over a decade like we have. This is actually the fourth Hellimination match in company history, but the first in a Hell in a Cell, and the first with three teams.
Zach Davis: The first match that started it all was the Team of Treachery versus the New Dynasty. VERY important match in WCF history, as it was the show in which Torture turned his back on the Dynasty and the fans. Which had a huge impact on WCF for years to come, of course.
Shannan Lerch: The second match was again the Team of Torture taking on a team of their biggest enemies, including Logan. Once again, the "ToT", albeit a different version, were victorious.
Zach Davis: And our most recent Hellimination match featured Team WCF up against the controversial This_Is_War stable. Team WCF managed to survive that.
Shannan Lerch: Whichever way you look at it, the Hellimination match is a huge deal. But adding Eric Price as the ref, putting it in a Cell.... this could change careers.
Zach Davis: Or end them.
Kyle Steel: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Helloween main event... THE HELLIMINATION MATCH!
The crowd pops.
Kyle Steel: Introducing first, a man that has risen through the ranks of the WCF roster from the bottom up... a man that many call one of the best Television Champions of all time... he is ERIC PRICE!
Gold lights will start flashing as You Know My Name by Chris Cornell starts and as soon as Eric Price walks out, wearing a referee's shirt. A gold spotlight will shine on him as he makes his way to the ring with a slow and determined walk with a smirk on his face as he walks down the entrance ramp and simply looks down on the audience. He steps in the ring using the steps and walks into the ring as he stands in the center of it looking around at the audience with disdain and a grin on his face.
Shannan Lerch: Eric Price was SO CLOSE to the World Title at War that he could taste it. Unfortunately for him, Pantheon's Jeff Purse stood in his way. We'll see how that plays into his refereeing tonight.
Kyle Steel: Introducing next, the first Hellimination team... they are the current People's Champion, Frank Patrick Venable... the Hardcore Champion, Roy Speede... the United States Champion, Steve Orbit... the Hellbilly, Waylon Cash.... AND THE MISTRESS OF MISCHIEF, SARAH TWILIGHT... THEY. ARE. GENESIS!
"Professional Griefers" by deadmau5 hits and the crowd ERUPTS! Frank steps out from the back first, with Roy Speede beside him. Frank nods to Speede, and Waylon and Orbit join them on the stage next. Finally, Sarah Twilight, the real deal, steps out in the middle of the four men. Frank begins fistbumping along to the music, iliciting huge bursts of pyro! The five Genesis members head to the ring.
Zach Davis: One thing we haven't mentioned is that Genesis have one advantage here: they're the only team that is a full, unified front. Sarah Twilight is an official Genesis member, unlike Odin Balfore on the Church's team, and Dake on Pantheon's team.
The music dies down as Sarah Twilight stands in her corner, with her teammates getting on the apron. Looks like Twilight will start for her team.
Kyle Steel: Introducing next, a group that has been the most dominant stable in WCF thus far in their era... represented by the current reigning World Champion, Jeff Purse... the Tag Team Champions, the Polar Phantasm and Nightmare.... and WCF legends and Hall of Famers, Corey Black and Dake Ken.... TEAM PANTHEON!
Parabola by Tool hits hits the PA system and the crowd go crazy. The lights go down and the screen begins to read 'Future... Elements... Dynasty...' Five spotlights hit the curtain and then the screen says 'PANTHEON'.
The Polar Phantasm and Nightmare, the Unstable Elements, Tag Team Titles around their waist, come through the curtain and each raise a fist to the crowd. With their free hands, they point to the curtain... Dake Ken and Corey Black come out, throw their arms up, then step out of the way... for the World Champion, Jeff Purse!
Shannan Lerch: Sigh. I miss Jonny Fly.
Zach Davis: Speaking of, aren't you pregnant or something, right? What ever happened to that?
Shannan Lerch: No comment.
Jeff Purse leads Team Pantheon down the ramp towards the ring, slowly... then, after a few steps, he throws his fist up and one massive jolt of white pyro goes off, echoing through the arena and shaking the stage. The group advances almost menacingly toward the ring at first, but then The Elements storm the ring suddenly, each leaping to a turnbuckle. Sarah Twilight and the rest of Genesis watch them, tentatively. Black and Ken follow right behind the Elements, each saluting their public with a haughty battle cry. Jeff Purse takes a tour around the ring shaking hands and slapping fives and kissing babies as Earth's Mightiest Wrestling Stable take their bows.
Zach Davis: Pantheon has gone through a lot since their formation. The original incarnation was, of course, Jonny Fly, Jeff Purse, and the Polar Phantasm. They were soon joined by Corey Black and Johnny Reb. Unfortunately, Reb seems to have gotten involved in a situation that is far beyond professional wrestling.
Shannan Lerch: Remember: Reb was on a mission to stop the Church of Dark Saints. Quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if they were behind his disappearance.
Jeff Purse stays in the ring as Team Pantheon gets on the apron; looks like we'll see the World Champion starting the match.
Kyle Steel: And lastly... the biggest threat to not only the WCF, but to the world at large. Presidential candidate and leader of a group that has been classified by the FBI as a cult, Oblivion.... a man that has kidnapped, branded, and done many more unspeakable things, Nathan von Liebert.... the Demon King himself, Famine of the Vile.... one of the hungriest wrestlers in the company today, Synn.... and a man that joins this match to make sure Genesis and Pantheon are doomed to fail, "The Maverick Elite," Odin Balfore.... THE CHURCH. OF. DARK. SAAAAIIIINNNNTTTSS!
Almost unintelligible whispers come over the PA system... the sound of whispers, signalling the beginning of "Jesus Built My Hot Rod" by Ministry. As the song truly begins, in its usual epic fashion, the curtain parts and out comes Odin Balfore. A few steps behind is a procession of the faithful, emerging from backstage. The Gathering walks out. Both the small and the Monstrous Gathering show their Faith and loyalty towards Oblivion. The sound of thunder rattles the arena, as Famine of the Vile walks out, as Nathan Von Liebert and Synn follows the pack, from behind. The Vixens come out next, dressed in white on white habits spotted with what appears to be blood and in the midst of the cluster of 'nuns' we see the Church's 'messiah'. The God of Insanity - Oblivion himself - steps at a leisurely pace and looks about at the 'saved' and 'unsaved' alike... his gaze would evoke utter terror from any sane person. Odin slides into the ring. Famine of the Vile slides under the bottom ring rope and proceeds to go to another corner of the ring, where he climbs up to the second turnbuckle and roars out. von Leibert slides under the ropes, as well. The Gathering and The Vixens lead IT in procession around ringside as Oblivion continues staring down the crowd, almost as if remembering all of their faces... or looking into their souls. The Church members lock eyes with their opponents.
Zach Davis: Everyone is here. I have goosebumps, Shannan.
Famine, with hatred in his eyes, runs at Sarah Twilight before anyone knows what's happening!
Shannan Lerch: Hey! The bell hasn't even rung yet, the Cell isn't even down!
Zach Davis: Remember, Shannan, Famine and Twilight were embroiled in long, long feud before both he and Twilight went on a hiatus... looks like Famine hasn't forgotten.
The bell sounds and, indeed, the Cell begins to lower, which the crowd cheers. The Church team members climb onto the apron as Famine of the Vile beats down the unsuspecting Twilight. That is, until the World Champion marches over to Famine and spins him around. Purse hits Famine with several rights and lefts, sending him reeling. Purse throws Famine to the ropes, but as he comes back, Famine Clotheslines Purse down; Purse gets back up but is met with a stiff kick to the gut from Famine, followed by a huge Jacknife Powerbomb!
Shannan Lerch: Damn! The Church begins this match in a dominating fashion.
Famine turns back to Twilight, who has gotten to her feet. He grabs her and throws her to the ropes, going for a Big Boot, which she ducks. He turns and she hits him with a Dropkick, sending him stumbling back. She then hits him with a backhand blow to the face, followed by a Snap Suplex.
Zach Davis: Sarah Twilight is one of two females in this match, but that doesn't mean anything. She is as tough as any man in the sport. Though she doesn't have an extensive Title history in the WCF yet, fans of the sport will know that everywhere she's been, she's been a success.
Shannan Lerch: The Cell is now lowered all the way. There is no escape, except for failure and elimination.
Twilight turns now to Jeff Purse. She starts stomping at him, though he's working his way up. Once he's to a vertical base, he blocks a fist and hits her with a few lefts and rights of his own. He ends with a big Spinning Heel Kick, taking her down.
Zach Davis: Obviously, Genesis and Pantheon are fan favorites. But there is no love lost between Twilight and Pantheon; her and Jonny Fly wrestled on multiple occasions for Fly's World Heavyweight Title.
Purse drops and goes for a quick pin, but Twilight promptly kicks out. He lifts her up and puts her in a headlock before going to the Pantheon corner and tagging in Phantasm.
Shannan Lerch: Here comes one half of the Tag Team Champions, as the Future Elements work together.
Zach Davis: It's Elementary, my dear Shannan!
Shannan Lerch: ....you dork.
Phantasm climbs to the top and drops down with an Axe Handle Smash onto Twilight. She goes down, holding her back, as Purse gets back onto the apron. Famine has gotten up, and Oblivion is calling out for a tag. Famine obliges.
Zach Davis: Here comes the God of Insanity himself.
Oblivion runs at Phantasm and goes to Clothesline him from behind, but Phantasm senses him coming; Phantasm kicks backwards, and Oblivion runs right into Polar's boot. Phantasm grabs Oblivion's head and hits a Stunner on him while dropping down and hitting a Leg Drop onto Sarah Twilight!
Shannan Lerch: Great combination move there!
Phantasm gets up and focuses on Oblivion now. He stomps away at the leader of the Church angrily.
Zach Davis: This is personal. After all the things the Church of Dark Saints have put he and Nightmare through....
Phantasm picks Oblivion up and tries to knock his brains out with several stiff forearm shots to his head. He then hits a Ocean Cyclone Suplex!
Shannan Lerch: Executed perfectly! Here's the pin.
Oblivion kicks out.
Zach Davis: We haven't seen much of Eric Price as the referee yet, but I'd venture to say that wasn't exactly the fastest count I've ever seen.
Twilight tags in FPV. Frank enters the ring with authority and starts stomping at Oblivion alongside Phantasm!
Shannan Lerch: This is a rare instance of teamwork between opposing teams. Not good for Oblivion, not at all, but FPV and Phantasm are longtime friends.
Odin Balfore, the Church's insurance policy, will not let this stand. Odin enters the ring and runs at Phantasm, hitting him with a stiff Big Boot!, and sending Phantasm sprawling half way across the ring. Eric Price, of course, does nothing about it. He turns to FPV, but FPV is ready; he Dropkicks Balfore, sending him flying out of the ring. Phantasm reaches up and tags Nightmare into the match.
Zach Davis: And here comes the third Elemental!
Unlike Phantasm, Nightmare is more interested in fighting than friendship with FPV. She grabs him from behind, spinning him around and hitting him with a Spinning Back Elbow Smash. With FPV out of the way, she starts stomping on Oblivion, with even more anger to her attacks than Phantasm.
Shannan Lerch: I know Seth wouldn't like me saying this, but I hope Nightmare kicks the crap out of the Church.
Nightmare lifts Oblivion up, but he's had enough. He shoves her away before tackling her down and hitting her with several punches right to her face. From the apron, Nathan eyes her, licking his lips.
Zach Davis: Well that is unsettling.
Oblivion throws Nightmare to the ropes and then lifts her up into a Gorilla Press. FPV is up, and Oblivion throws her at him!
Shannan Lerch: What strength shown by IT!
Nightmare flies into FPV, taking him back down. Oblivion then turns to the Saints and nods. They nod back... then all four Church team members storm the ring.
Zach Davis: What is this!?
Balfore and Synn attack the Genesis corner of the ring, while NvL and Famine attack the Pantheon corner, knocking the members of those two groups to the apron floor. Again, Eric Price does nothing to maintain order. Balfore then begins stomping at FPV as Synn and Famine patrol around the ring, making sure no one can enter... leaving Oblivion and Nathan von Liebert to take care of Nightmare.
Shannan Lerch: Oh, God, this doesn't look good for Nightmare. This was clearly the Church of Dark Saints' plan from the beginning...
Oblivion lifts Nightmare up and holds her from behind, with her face NvL. NvL grins at her, standing eerily close to her and simply staring into her eyes.
Zach Davis: I don't like this... I don't like this at all. After all we've seen Nathan do to this woman....
Nightmare spits right in Nathan's face! The crowd roars as she does it, but Nathan is anything but pleased, obviously. His grin turns to anger and, finally, he attacks her, kicking her right in the stomach. She grimaces in pain, and Oblivion doesn't let go. Nathan kicks her repeatedly, enjoying every moment of it. And once her face is completely contorted in pain, he leans in... and licks from her chin, all the way up her cheek.
Shannan Lerch: This isn't... right... fans, I apologize for what you're witnessing here...
Nathan licks up to her ear, and whispers something to her before Oblivion shoves her away, into Nathan's arms. He lifts her up and hits the Straight Jacket Drop!
Zach Davis: OOF! This isn't a match anymore, this is just a mugging.
Nathan drops and pins Nightmare, hooking her leg.
Shannan Lerch: I'd say that was a much faster count than what we saw from Price earlier! Though I'm happy to have Nightmare out of this match before Nathan does anything else...
The members of Pantheon and Genesis have been trying to get into the ring and stop this, but to no avail. Finally, however, fueled by anger, the Polar Phantasm has fought his way back inside! He runs at Nathan, tackling him down. Oblivion is about to stop him but the distraction allows Genesis and Pantheon to all get into the ring themselves!
Zach Davis: Oh, God, all hell is breaking loose here!
Eric Price doesn't care; he grabs Nightmare and takes her to the cell door, which is now unlocked, and throws her out of the match for good.
Shannan Lerch: Eric Price's treatment of women is just disgusting...
The fourteen members of this match are all brawling in the ring now. Corey Black has attacked Oblivion, getting him into a corner and kicking away at him. Sarah Twilight and Famine are brawling; Roy Speede and FPV are going at it with Synn and Odin Balfore; Phantasm is still hitting Nathan with a huge flurry of fists... Dake Ken and Jeff Purse are brawling with the Homegrown Players, Steve Orbit and Waylon Cash.
Zach Davis: Pantheon is now one competitor down, which doesn't bode well for them in a match with as much talent as this one.
With the concept of "legal men" basically thrown out the window, Price reenters the ring and just watches the carnage. Twilight and Famine spill to the outside, as do Speede, FPV, Synn and Balfore; of course, with the Cell, there isn't much room out there. Famine grabs Twilight's head and smashes it into the Cell. FPV grabs Balfore's head and does the same, while Synn Suplexes Speede into it.
Zach Davis: As a former wrestler, I've been in cages before, and let me tell you, that cage is PAINFUL.
Corey has gotten the best of Oblivion and throws him out of the ring. Corey then climbs to the top...
Shannan Lerch: I hope he falls, hits his head, and dies.
Zach Davis: Why do you hate Corey so much, anyway?
Shannan Lerch: To be honest, I don't even remember.
Corey jumps off the top and flies out of the ring, crashing into Oblivion! A big "COR-EY-BLACK!" chant rings throughout the arena. Eventually, only Dake Ken, Jeff Purse, and the Homegrown Players are left in the ring. Ken and Purse on the left side, Orbit and Cash on the right. Ken and Purse hit Orbit and Cash with a series of forearms to the head, then each man backs up...
Zach Davis: Look at how they're positioned.... HERE COME THE SUPERKICKS!
Both Dake Ken and Jeff Purse fire off their signature Superkicks!, but Steve Orbit and Waylon Cash have them well scouted! Both Orbit and Cash duck!, kick the Team Pantheon members and then hit a pair of Backhand Slaps!
Shannan Lerch: DAMN!
Jeff Purse flies out of the ring, after being slapped by Steve Orbit. Dake Ken, however, ducked Cash's slap, having that scouted himself. Dake picks Cash up for a Death Valley Driver, but Cash has been watching his old WCF tapes, and has THAT scouted!, he slips behind the Hall of Famer. Cash hits Dake Ken with a Chop Block and Steve Orbit hits him with a Jumping Leg Lariat!
Zach Davis: OLD SCHOOL JUSTICE!
Orbit pins Dake Ken!
No! Dake Ken kicks out!
Shannan Lerch: Close, but no cigar!
Zach Davis: There is too much talent in this match to keep track of... eliminations are NOT going to come easily.
The Homegrown Players are not done. Waylon grabs Dake, pulling him in...
Shannan Lerch: They're going for the Chiropractic Bitch Slap!
Cash lifts Dake Ken up for the Powerbomb, but Ken shifts his weight and rolls Cash up!
No, Orbit breaks it up!
Zach Davis: CLOSE!
Synn has reentered the ring. He runs at Steve Orbit and Clotheslines him out.
Shannan Lerch: I think this should make Synn, Cash and Dake Ken the legal men now.
And, finally, the other competitors of the match are returning to their corners, and some semblance of order is returned. Synn runs at Cash and hits him with a Shining Wizard. He turns to Dake Ken, and spits Asian Mist right in his face!
Zach Davis: Synn in the center of the action now!
Synn then grabs Dake Ken and puts him in a Headlock... and takes him to the Pantheon corner.
Shannan Lerch: What the-
Out of nowhere, Synn grabs Jeff Purse's hand and slaps it against Ken.
Zach Davis: Synn just made the World Champion tag himself in! Synn wants Jeff Purse!
Synn lets go of Ken, dropping him to the mat, where he rolls out. Jeff Purse enters the ring, incredulous.
Shannan Lerch: Here we go-
Synn inexplicably shoots out another Mist from his mouth!, but Purse ducks it! Jeff then grabs Synn and hits a Belly to Belly Suplex!
Zach Davis: The World Champion takes Synn down!
Purse stomps at Synn's arm for several seconds before grabbing him and putting him in an Arm Bar submission!
Shannan Lerch: ARMBAR!
Eric Price asks Synn if he'd like to give up, but Synn shakes his head no. From the Church, however, NvL enters the ring and kicks Purse, breaking it up.
Zach Davis: Oh come on.
NvL quickly gets back onto the apron. Cash has just tagged Roy Speede into the match. With one hand, Speede got tagged in, and with the other....
Shannan Lerch: Roy Speede, the Hardcore Champion, has a Singapore cane!
Speede swings the cane at Synn, cracking him right at the base of the skull! Synn begins to bleed and drops to the mat. He then turns and THWACK! Jeff Purse gets a shot to the head himself!
Zach Davis: The Hardcore Champion is looking good right here!
Synn tags in Oblivion. Speede turns to the God of Insanity and motions for him to bring it.
Shannan Lerch: A lot of controversy between these two lately. Oblivion thought he'd defeated Speede for the Hardcore Title, but Seth overturned the decision.... just to piss off our commissioner, Brad Kane.
Oblivion enters and begins brawling with Speede in the middle of the ring! The fans roar for Speede, who sends Oblivion reeling.
Zach Davis: Genesis getting the upper hand on the Church of Dark Saints here!
Shannan Lerch: Can you hear him now!?
Speede hits Oblivion with a series of Snap-Jabs. He kicks him in the gut and hits him with the Angel's Wings, followed by a pin!
NO! Oblivion kicks out!
Zach Davis: Ugh, that count...
Speede lifts Oblivion up but is met with a cane to the back of his head, from Jeff Purse! Purse picked up Speede's Singapore Cane earlier. Oblivion kicks Purse in the gut and hits him with the Falling Doctor, a Gutwrench Powerbomb. The cane flies from Purse's hand, landing outside the ring. Oblivion then turns to Speede and lifts him up...
Shannan Lerch: Oh damn! Here we go-
Oblivion hits the 5150! But he isn't done. Quickly, he climbs to the top...
Zach Davis: OBI-SAULT! OBI-SAULT ONTO ROY SPEEDE!
Oblivion pins the Hardcore Champion.
Shannan Lerch: Roy Speede is eliminated!
Price quickly grabs Roy Speede and pulls him out of the ring, to the Cell door and throws him out. FPV quickly enters the ring, angered by Speede's elimination. FPV runs at Oblivion, but Oblivion catches him...
Zach Davis: BLACK HOLE! OBLIVION HITS FPV WITH THE BLACK HOLE!
But FPV won't stop! He begins fighting, getting to his feet. Oblivion tags Odin Balfore into the ring.
Shannan Lerch: Uh oh... Odin Balfore and FPV, these two have had many battles in the past few months, and-
CRACK! Odin's boot connects with FPV's skull! Still, showing heart, FPV works his way up. Odin pulls him in and hits the Mark of Odin Powerbomb!
Zach Davis: Goddamn...
Odin stays down and grabs Frank by the throat. He picks him up...
Shannan Lerch: RAGNAROK!
Zach Davis: ODIN BALFORE IS A BAD MOTHA FUCKA!
Odin pins Frank, hooking his leg.
Shannan Lerch: That's it. FPV is gone.
Zach Davis: Shit.
Price, loving every moment of it, grabs FPV and brings him to the outside. He throws him out of the match. Nightmare and Speede are still ringside.
Shannan Lerch: Believe it or not, Genesis has now lost two members... its two FOUNDING members, in fact. Pantheon has lost Nightmare. And the Church of Dark Saints is still going strong with all five.
Zach Davis: This sure isn't good. Seth's plan is sure going how he wanted it to though, for sure.
Odin Balfore stands, and he's quickly met with a kick from Jeff Purse. Purse takes Balfore down with a Neckbreaker before getting up and tagging in Corey Black.
Shannan Lerch: BOO!
Black waits for Balfore to get to his feet... he grabs Odin, lifts him up in a Suplex, spins them in the Falcon Arrow, then grabs Odin and drops him with a Diamond Cutter!
Zach Davis: Mjolnir's Wrath Beta!
Shannan Lerch: Corey defeated Odin for the WCF World Title almost one year ago, can he pin The Maverick Elite again!?
Corey drops, hooking Odin's leg!
Price counts Odin's elimination. Corey rolls off of him, and angrily, Price grabs Odin and throws him out and through the open Cell door, opened by an outside WCF official.
Zach Davis: The Church of Dark Saints team has lost its first member.
Black tags in Dake Ken. Dake comes back into the match and meets Nathan von Liebert, who joins the match in lieu of Odin's elimination. The two begin brawling.
Shannan Lerch: Dake Ken! Nathan von Liebert! The past and the future, fighting right before our eyes!
Zach Davis: Dake Ken would argue with you calling him the past, Shannan. Dake Ken might just be our future.
Nathan hits Dake with several closed punches to the head. He throws him to the ropes before hitting him with a Headlock Takedown. Nathan stomps at Dake several times before tagging Famine of the Vile back into the match.
Shannan Lerch: Aanndd here comes Famine again.
BUT SARAH TWILIGHT ENTERS THE MATCH NOW! Sarah runs at Famine and hits a Burst Clothesline, taking Famine down!
Zach Davis: Several months worth of hatred and here we go! Sarah Twilight and Famine of the Vile!
Famine gets back to his feet and runs to the ropes, Springboarding, but Sarah catches him and doesn't waste a second. Fallaway Slam!
Shannan Lerch: Sarah Twilight is on fire!
Twilight backs up as Famine stumbles to his feet.... Sarah grabs the ring bell-
Zach Davis: Oh fu-
Sarah throws the ring bell as hard as she can at Famine's face! This busts his face open, and he's bleeding from the nose and mouth. He falls to the ground and Sarah pins him.
Shannan Lerch: Retribution, from all those months ago!
Eric Price has no choice. He counts the pin.
Zach Davis: The Church of Dark Saints loses Famine of the Vile!
Shannan Lerch: Wow. I don't believe it.
Zach Davis: Sarah Twilight has pinned Famine of the Vile... this is goddamn epic.
Shannan Lerch: We've been waiting to see that for MONTHS!
Famine rolls out and stumbles out of the Cell structure as Sarah stands, triumphant. All of a sudden, Corey Black Springboards into the match!
Zach Davis: Here comes Corey Black, one of the top wrestlers in our industry right now.
Shannan Lerch: He's a Title holder in another company, a Tag Team Champion with Rick Mad. Rick Mad, known primarily as a jobber. Hence, Corey Black is a jobber.
Zach Davis: But not a Flyjobber.
Zach Davis: Here comes the Hall of Famer-
Oblivion has just reentered the match, whom Black was attacking. But Oblivion drops him with a huge Powerbomb!
Shannan Lerch: NICE!
Black sumbles to his feet and Oblivion smiles, bloodthirsty. He throws Corey Black to the ropes and then catches him...
Zach Davis: OBLIVION HITS THE BLACK HOLE!
Oblivion drops and pins Corey Black, hooking the leg.
Shannan Lerch: Bam. The Avenger is eliminated.
Once again, all too happily, official referee Eric Price grabs Corey Black and pulls him out of the ring, throwing him out of the Cell door. All the former eliminated members of this match are still outside the Cell, watching the match.
Zach Davis: We've still got Sarah Twilight and the Homegrown Players for Genesis... Purse, Phantasm and Dake Ken for Pantheon... and Oblivion, Nathan von Liebert, and Synn for the Church... things are even right now!
Dake Ken enters the ring, replacing Corey. He signals for Oblivion to come at him, which Oblivion does. Dake catches him...
Shannan Lerch: Oh shit, here comes the Uranage Slam!
Zach Davis: DAKE KEN HITS IT!
DAKE KEN HITS THE URANAGE SLAM ON OBLIVION! Dake then turns-
Shannan Lerch: SARAH TWILIGHT HITS DAKE KEN WITH AN INVERTED FRONT POWERSLAM INTO SWINGING SNAP DDT!
Zach Davis: TWILIGHT ZONE!
Dake quickly rolls out before Twilight gets the chance to pin him. Polar Phantasm quickly hits the ring but gets hit with a kick from Sarah, who hits ANOTHER Twilight Zone, this time on Phantasm! She's about to pin him until Nathan von Liebert quickly hits the ring, throws her out, and drops, pinning Phantasm.
Shannan Lerch: Oh come on-
Shannan Lerch: Nathan von Liebert just pinned the Polar Phantasm! This is NOT going to sit well with Pantheon.
Zach Davis: That's for damn sure.
Shannan Lerch: Pantheon is down to two men! Jeff Purse and Dake Ken, of all people.
Sarah Twilight stands just as Nathan von Liebert dives and tags in Synn.
Zach Davis: With Price as the ref, the concept of "legal men" is kinda out the window, it seems like.
Synn climbs to the top. Sarah runs at him but Synn hits Sarah with a punch to the head. She stumbles away and turns around.. Synn flies off and hits her with a Shooting Star DDT!
Shannan Lerch: THE BETA HIGHLIGHT!
The Church yells at Synn to pin her but he isn't done. Jeff Purse is in the ring, and he starts brawling with Synn. Synn gets the upper hand, however.
Zach Davis: Synn is really proving himself here tonight, going toe to toe with the best WCF has to offer.
Shannan Lerch: I don't know, Zach, he should've pinned Sarah there, but instead he's trying to impress everyone by showing off, it almost seems like.
Synn blasts Purse with a Blue Mist! Purse stumbles back and seems to pass out. Synn grins and tags in NvL.
Shannan Lerch: Oh God. Nathan von Liebert, an unconscious Jeff Purse...
Nathan enters the ring and walks cockily towards Jeff Purse. He begins to pick him up but-
Zach Davis: THE LIGHTS ARE OUT.
Shannan Lerch: This is never good. Or is it? I don't even know.
Zach Davis: Well, Shannan, with the Cell structure-
The lights come back on.
TORTURE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING. SOMEHOW.
Shannan Lerch: OH FUCK! NOT AGAIN!
Nathan runs at Torture and swings wildly. Torture ducks it and hits Nathan with a Torture's Device!
Zach Davis: TORTURE'S DEVICE!
Oblivion enters the ring next! He goes for a huge kick, but Torture sidesteps that! He grabs Oblivion from behind!
Zach Davis: TORTURE'S DEVICE!
And with that, Torture slides out of the ring and exits through the open Cell door. Heading to the announcer's table, he takes Shannan's headset.
Torture: MOTHERFUCKIN... NEW DYNASTY FOR LIFE!
Afterwards he throws the headset down. In the ring, amongst all the madness, Jeff Purse has snuck behind Orbit. Purse signals for Orbit to turn around, which he does....
Shannan Lerch: THE SPOKE!
Purse throws himself over Orbit's body.
Zach Davis: STEVE ORBIT IS GONE!
Shannan Lerch: Partly due to Torture's distraction, in my opinion.
Zach Davis: Genesis is down to Sarah Twilight and Waylon Cash!
Shannan Lerch: We never expected this, Zach, not in a million years.
Zach Davis: Pantheon is down to Dake Ken and Jeff Purse, while the Church of Dark Saints is down to Oblivion, Nathan von Liebert, and Synn. The Church still has the advantage.
Nathan gets up, trying to focus through the cobwebs. He tags in Oblivion. Oblivion marches towards Jeff Purse, but Jeff Purse rolls him up with a Schoolboy Pin out of nowhere!
Shannan Lerch: What the-
Almost not believing it, Eric Price counts the pinfall.
Zach Davis: Uh.
Shannan Lerch: HAH! WOW!
Zach Davis: JEFF PURSE JUST PINNED OBLIVION!
Eric Price stands up, barely believing he counted the pinfall. Oblivion rolls out, not believing it himself!
Shannan Lerch: Not a good sign for the Church of Dark Saints!, that's for sure!
Zach Davis: This match is now down to two on two on two. Sarah Twilight and Waylon Cash. Jeff Purse and Dake Ken. And Nathan von Liebert and Synn.
Shannan Lerch: Synn, really making a name for himself here tonight, geez. I don't think we expected to see Oblivion get taken out like that!
After several moments of everyone getting their bearings, Jeff Purse has stumbled up and tags in Dake Ken. Synn is still in the ring for his team, and Waylon Cash for Genesis.
Zach Davis: So much talent in one match... only one team can reign supreme tonight.
Dake enters the ring. Synn has just taken down Cash and turns to Dake, licking his lips at the opportunity to pin a WCF legend. Synn and Ken meet in the middle of the ring and tie up. Dake, being fresh, gets the upper hand, sending Synn to the corner. Synn flips Dake around, however, and fires off a series of strikes. Dake stumbles out of the corner but summons the strength to Clothesline Synn down. Synn gets back up and Dake Ken takes him up with a Vertical Suplex, then back down to the mat. Again, Synn stumbles up, and this time Dake takes him back down with a Neckbreaker.
Shannan Lerch: Hall of Famer Dake Ken firmly in control of Synn here, now.
Dake goes to throw Synn into the corner, but Synn reverses it, sending Dake into the corner instead. Nathan shouts for Synn to make the tag but Synn says no, wanting to pin the former World Champion himself. Synn runs at Dake, going for a Clothesline to crush him into the corner, but Dake sidesteps it!, and hits his Sitout Facebuster!
Zach Davis: Xplicit!, an ode to X-Rated!
Synn hits the mat and Dake Ken jumps to the top. He flies off with a Flying Elbow Drop!
Shannan Lerch: TRENT HUNTER'S FULL MOON!
Dake pins Synn, hooking the leg!
Zach Davis: I don't believe Eric Price counted the pinfall, but he didn't have much choice. Synn is gone!
Shannan Lerch: Believe it or not, the Church is down to only Nathan von Liebert now, in a surprise turn of events.
Not worrying about Synn's elimination, and running on survival instinct, Nathan bursts into the ring. He tackles Dake down and hits him with several stiff shots to his head. Nathan gets up and sees Cash running at him; he ducks Cash's attack and kicks him, hitting a Package Piledriver.
Zach Davis: Nathan von Liebert has become a cornered animal... and with his teammates eliminated or not, that isn't good for anyone else in this match.
Dake is up, and Nathan eyes him hungrily. Dake turns around and is met with a kick to his gut, and then the lift...
Shannan Lerch: STRAIGHT JACKET DROP!
Jeff Purse quickly enters the ring to save his teammate but Nathan grabs him and uses his own momentum to throw him back out of the ring, actually sending him flying into the steel cage itself! Nathan drops and pins Dake.
Zach Davis: ANOTHER fast count from Eric Price!
Price stands up and raises his arms in the air, happy with himself. The fans begin to boo.
Shannan Lerch: The legendary Dake Ken has been eliminated now, and Pantheon is down to the current World Champion, Jeff Purse.
As Nathan stands, Cash dives and tackles him down. Purse enters the ring and grabs Price, spins him around, and punches him right in the head!
Zach Davis: YEAH!
Huge pop for that! Price hits the mat and gets back up, not believing that Purse is attacking the referee. As Price gets back to his feet, Jeff Purse goes for The Spoke!
Shannan Lerch: NO! ERIC PRICE CATCHES THE LEG!
Eric Price spins Purse around and hits him with the Reversal of Fortune!
Zach Davis: Reversal of Fortune, indeed!
Twilight senses an opportunity and quickly pins Purse, hooking his leg. And, predictably, this is probably Price's fastest count of the night.
Shannan Lerch: And with that, Pantheon has been eliminated!
Zach Davis: All thanks to Eric Price.
Purse rolls out of the ring and Price slides out after him, personally throwing him through the door and to the outside of the Cell structure.
Shannan Lerch: The superstable has been defeated. We're down to Genesis and the Church of Dark Saints.
Zach Davis: Can Nathan von Liebert pull this off? I hope not, quite frankly.
Shannan Lerch: It's either that, or Genesis does what they came here to do, and reigns supreme over the other stables of WCF.
Nathan stands, turning back to Sarah. Sarah motions for Nathan to bring it. They meet in the middle of the ring and Nathan Headbutts her. He then hits her with a forearm to the head, followed by a Shining Wizard!
Zach Davis: He just took her head off!
Shannan Lerch: All these head attacks... he's setting her up for the Straight Jacket Drop for sure.
Sarah stumbles up, and indeed!, Nathan lifts her up.
Zach Davis: STRAIGHT JACKET DROP! THERE IT IS!
Nathan drops and pins Sarah, hooking her leg.
NO! Waylon Cash breaks it up!
Shannan Lerch: Aha! The advantages to two versus one.
Cash pulls Nathan in and hits him with the Butterfly Brainbuster!
Zach Davis: KILLSHOT! THIS IS IT! GENESIS HAS IT!
Cash lands on top of Nathan!
Nathan kicks out!
Shannan Lerch: Well... what else can we say? Nathan kicked out!
Zach Davis: I'm not even going to pretend that Price is being fair anymore.
Waylon stands up and begins getting into Eric Price's face. Price reminds Cash what just happened when Purse tried the same thing. As they're arguing, Nathan rolls Cash up from behind!
NO! Waylon kicks out!
Shannan Lerch: That was close! God damn!
Both Nathan and Waylon are to their feet. Nathan takes a wild swing, but Cash ducks it...
Zach Davis: ANOTHER KILLSHOT!
But this time, that isn't all. Sarah motions to Cash, bending down a little and putting her hands out. Cash runs at her and jumps into her hands, as she launches him into the air, high enough for him to grab the Cell ceiling.
Shannan Lerch: WHAT THE.... oh my God! How'd they do that!?
Waylon positions himself, looks down.... lets go, and hits his Swan Dive Headbutt from the Cell ceiling!
Zach Davis: MY GOD!
Waylon hits it!, and covers Nathan von Liebert afterwards. Price hesitantly drops for the count.
His hand doesn't want to go down for the three.
But Sarah Twilight grabs it and slams it to the mat!
Shannan Lerch: THERE YOU HAVE IT.
Zach Davis: With Sarah Twilight and Waylon Cash as the sole survivors, Genesis wins the match!
Sarah and Waylon work their way to their feet, hugging after a hard fought matchup. But they did what they came to do. Price, angry, leaves the ring and storms out.
Shannan Lerch: Wow.
But as Price is leaving, the rest of the Church of Dark Saints storms their way back in.
Shannan Lerch: What is going on here!?
Zach Davis: The match is over and now it looks like Sarah Twilight didn't wind up in the cell with the Church by accident! Seth Lerch is ordering it!
Shannan Lerch: Waylon Cash is in the cage and trying to help his teammate, but the rest of Genesis is on the outside with no way in!
Zach Davis: Nathan von Leibert took care of that with the heavy lock and chain he secured around the door. This is meant to be a massacre, pure and simple.
Shannan Lerch: Sarah Twilight and Waylon Cash find themselves trapped in there with Oblivion, NvL, Famine of the Vile and Synn. The odds are definitely against Twilight and Cash.
Zach Davis: Twilight and Cash in the ring back to back. The Church of Dark Saints members surrounding all sides of the ring and here we go!
Shannan Lerch: The Church storm the ring. Twilight and Cash are fighting with everything they have to keep alive here. Oblivion and Famine taking it to Twilight. NvL and Synn teeing off on Cash.
Zach Davis: Twilight launched into the ring ropes and on the return up and...OOOH! Devastating double spinebuster courtesy of Oblivion and Famine! She looks to be out of it.
Shannan Lerch: Cash backed against the turnbuckle and look at Synn and NvL, they are practically frothing at the mouth as they stomp Waylon Cash into the canvas!
Zach Davis: Twilight hauled back to her feet by Famine and jawbreaker! Sarah is still trying to fight. Oblivion wallops her with a clothesline and sends her back down. The flurry was short lived.
Shannan Lerch: Cash also swinging wildly but to no avail. The numbers are against them. The rest of Genesis are beside themselves on the outside. But they can't do anything to help.
Zach Davis: Steve Orbit has seen enough it looks like as he storms backstage. I don't know what they are going to do. Sarah Twilight and Waylon Cash are being decimated after the match. Seth Lerch is loving every minute of this.
Shannan Lerch: This was the plan from the start, regardless of how the match turned out. But we both have mentioned how it wasn't very wise for Sarah to openly challenge my brother the way she did last week. We knew he'd retaliate in some way.
Zach Davis: Synn with a chair now and Waylon Cash is being dismantled in this two on one assault!
Shannan Lerch: I bet he wishes he didn't survive the match now.
Zach Davis: Sarah Twilight is being decimated as well. Oblivion is calling for it to be ended. Famine is practically BEGGING that he get to finisher her off. Oblivion is going to oblige!
Shannan Lerch: They're bringing a table into the ring now. Remember, they are still trapped inside that cell. Roy Speede and FPV are being forced to watch these two get ripped apart. Steve Orbit stormed off backstage.
Zach Davis: Table is set up, Oh MY! Famine is calling for the Nail in the Coffin, that's off the top and through the table! He wants to take Twilight out!
Shannan Lerch: Here he goes, Oblivion with a few more clubbing blows directed at Sarah to keep her from fighting. We have a pretty good view inside the cage, a cameraman stuck inside with the rest. Brave crew we have, and still bringing us this close up footage.
Zach Davis: Oblivion hauls Twilight up, he's going to hand her over to an almost orgasmic Famine of the Vile who can't wait to deposit her through that table. We know Famine and Sarah have a histo....WHOA WHAT WAS THAT?
Shannan Lerch: That cameraman just BLASTED Famine in the head with the camera! Famine is down and out of it. Oblivion is in SHOCK. What just happened? Our camera crew getting involved in the match?
Zach Davis: Now he's...climbing the turnbuckle? What is he thinking? Oblivion turns around and here is the cameraman LEAPING off of the turnbuckle.....wait a damn minute!
Shannan Lerch: That was a diving stunner from the top! That was crazy! ....HOLY SHIT! I know where I've seen that!
Zach Davis: The hood is removed and OH MY GOD! That's no camerman!
Shannan Lerch: AYRIA ADAMS! AYRIA ADAMS IS BACK!!!! DISGUISED AS A CAMERAMAN!
Zach Davis: And she just took out Oblivion and Famine! I think Synn and NvL just realized it. They abandon their double team on Waylon and have their sights on Ayria!
Shannan Lerch: But now, Sarah Twilight is back in the mix and here comes Steve Orbit with some bolt cutters!
Zach Davis: The odds have changed for Genesis. And of course, NOW Seth is ordering the cage to be raised.
Shannan Lerch: The cell is being lifted. Synn and NvL collecting Famine and Oblivion, they wisely retreat from ringside and into the stands.
Zach Davis: Here tonight we have ANOTHER major return as Ayria Adams returns to save her former tag team partner Sarah Twilight as well as the rest of Genesis.
Shannan Lerch: The rest of Genesis now. Waylon shakes off the cobwebs as does Sarah. Look at this lineup.
Zach Davis: Orbit, Speede, Venable, Cash, Twilight and Adams. They stand tall here tonight as the final curtains close on this edition of Helloween!
With that, Helloween fades out.