Doc Henry Segment
Stan Trinity vs Homeless Dan
Russle Trombone vs Captain Punishment
Seth Lerch Segment
Television Title Match: Doc Henry/Hotdog Mascot vs Moneybanks and Deruty
Captain Punishment Segment
Oblivion vs Frost/Ingvar
Johnny Reb/Paul Dangerous vs The Big Time Jerks
Opposite of Adults by Chiddy Bang plays and the Cow Palace comes alive!
Zach Davis: Hey, isn't this the second week in a row we're having Slam from here? What happened?
Shannan Lerch: Quiet, Zach. Shut up.
Zach Davis: Anyway... welcome to Slam! Great show tonight.
Shannan Lerch: Will Wade Barrett reveal the Nexus' master plan? Will Jeff Hardy explain why he, Jarrett, Abyss, Hogan and Bischoff formed THEY?
Zach Davis: Wrong show, Shannan. Our big question is this: Will Torture and This_Is_War explain themselves? We all thought Torture was dead.. and now... not so much.
Shannan Lerch: Who knows. Their motivations are their own at this point, Zach.
Zach Davis: Anyway, though, in our main event... we have Johnny Reb teaming up with Paul Dangerous to take on the Big Time Jerks! This should be a good one.
Shannan Lerch: I can't wait to see how Johnny Reb and Paul Dangerous mesh. I'd like to see them team up to take on Doc and whomever at Helloween, and I'm sure Dangerous would like to get his hands on Henry after what happened at War.
Zach Davis: We have a handicapped match, with Oblivion taking on Frost and Ingvar from This_Is_War. I'm interested to see if he can keep his mind off Greenfever long enough to focus on this.
Shannan Lerch: The Television Title is on the line when Doc Henry... well, he teams with the Hotdog Mascot... to take on Moneybanks and Deruty. Poor Doc.
Zach Davis: We have Russle Trombone vs Captain Punishment in.. get this.. a ladder match. How is Trombone going to climb a ladder?
Shannan Lerch: Whoever booked this clearly just wanted something to laugh at, I think. How mean.
Zach Davis: It was probably your brother, you know.
Shannan Lerch: Great idea Seth!
Zach Davis: And in our opener, Stan Trinity and Homeless Dan go one on one! That should be some kind of matchup.
Doc Henry Segment
Dr. Feelgood hits the speakers, and the crowd explodes in a mixture of cheers and boos. Doc Henry appears on the stage with Mary at his side and the Tag Title Belt around his waist.
Shannan Lerch: And here comes the Southern Rogue himself, with Mary at his side.
Zach Davis: I wonder what he's wanting Shannan...
Doc and Mary make their way to the ring. After popping the crowd, Doc brings the mic to his mouth as his music fades.
Doc Henry: Hello Bay Area!!! Now, to get down to 'brass tacks'. On 11/1/10 at Hellimination, Johnny Reb and myself will meet in the ring with new tag partners, and the Titles will be on the line.
As the crowd noise rises at the mention of the match, Doc leans on the top ropes facing the back.
Doc Henry: Now, I had ol' Hank Brown deliver a message to Reb that I wanted to see him right here, in this ring, tonight. So, Johnny, come on down!
"Bad Company" begins to play over the venue's PA system. Anticipation fills the air, and the crowd begins to cheer as Johnny Reb steps out, Don Jesus, is right behind him.
Zach Davis: Business is looking to pick up Shannan...
Reb makes his way into the ring, and him and Doc pace, looking each other up and down. Reb with a wary eye, and Doc with his confident smirk.
Johnny Reb: Ya wanted me down here Doc, what gives?
Doc Henry: Well Johnny, given our... Difference of opinion on how to best proceed as a team, and our general philosophies on our approaches, Lerch has apparently decided to stick his nose in, booking us against each other for the tag straps.
As the crowd pops, Doc and Reb look out at them briefly before Doc continues.
Doc Henry: Having thought this over, I have an idea you just may like.
Reb stops pacing and looks at Doc inquisitively.
Johnny Reb: Ok, Doc, ya have my attention.
Doc smiles big, and Johnny looks a little worried.
Zach Davis: oh, I don't like the look of this Shannan...
Shannan Lerch: Now give him a minute to explain...
Doc Henry: Reb, I have said it many times, your like a brother to me. Our differences aside, I'm willing to prove this. At Hellimination, you and Chuy team up to take on me and Mary. We keep this match in the family, so to speak. The winner gets the Tag Titles, and the right to find a new partner, and Co-Champ.
Reb scratches his chin as he and Chuy talk it over.
Johnny Reb: You're on! And just so there isn't any funny business, next week, right here in this ring, we have a contract signing.
Doc grins and shakes Reb's hand, pulling him into a hug.
Doc Henry: Then I'll see you there. Now, hit OUR music!
As Renegade hits the speakers, The foursome exits the ring to a huge pop.
Zach Davis: Wow, a big turn in this seeming feud...
Shannan Lerch: Maybe they can settle this amicably after all.
Stan Trinity vs Homeless Dan
Kyle Steel: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first...
"When They Come For Me" by Linkin Park is playing and Homeless Dan marches onto the stage. He is holding a bottle of alcohol and dressed dirty.
Kyle Steel: From Da Streets, weighing in at two hundred and sixty pounds.....Hoooooooooomeless Dan!
He slowly goes to the ring looking around at the fans who have more money than him and a house.
Kyle Steel: And introducing his opponent...
"Epic" by Faith No More begins to play and green, yellow, and red strobes begin flashing on the entrance ramp. From behind the entrance curtain, Stan Trinity walks out and the crowd booms in cheers. Stan quickly makes his way down to the ring, occasionally stopping to give high fives to people standing at the entrance aisle behind the barrier.
Kyle Steel: From Miami Florida, weighing in at two hundred and forty pounds......Stan Trinnnnnnnnnnity!
As he gets in front of the ring, he rolls in underneath the bottom rope and walks to the middle of the ring and moves his arms to his sides and turns in a slow circle, posing, firing his fans up even more. He makes his way over a turnbuckle and lays back against it as the music dies down, and waits for the match to begin.
Zach Davis: This should be an interesting match up to start the show, wouldn't you say Shannan.
Shannan Lerch: It has potential as both of these guys are trying to end their recent losing streaks. Both should be on top of their game tonight and that could make for a good match.
Referee Richard Johnson is in the ring doing his last minute weapons search of both competitors while giving them last minute instructions. He finishes up and signals for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
Both men move out of their respective corners and circle each other for a few moments, sizing one another up, before they move in and lock up. Dan gains control and places Trinity in a headlock. Trinity fights out of it with quick elbow shots to the ribs and then places Dan in a headlock of his own. Dan fights out of it in his own way, stomping down on Trinity's foot before hooking the leg and tripping him to the mat. Dan follows that up with a body splash into the early pin attempt.
Zach Davis: Kick out by Trinity.
Dan quickly rolls off and gets to his feet in time to catch Trinity in another headlock. Trinity again fights back, running backward into the ropes and using the momentum to push Dan off of him. Dan turns around and Trinity catches him under the jaw with a standing dropkick. He moves in for a pin attempt of his own.
Shannan Lerch: Kickout by Homeless Dan!
Zach Davis: A lot of quick back and forth action from both of these guys. I think you were right earlier Shannan, they both seem to have brought their A game.
Both men scramble to their feet. Dan goes for a tie up but Trinity sees it coming and takes him down with a quick arm drag which he follows up with a leg drop onto the left forearm. Trinity gets to his feet and takes a moment to acknowledge the chants coming from his supporters in attendance. Referee Richard Johnson quickly checks on Dan's condition but he waves him off with his good arm. Trinity turns his attention back to Dan and helps him to his feet by yanking on the left arm. Trinity catches him with a knee to the midsection and then pulls him in for a double underhook suplex...but Dan fights back and counters it with a back body drop! Trinity clutches his back as he lays on the mat and Dan shakes his left arm as he still seems to be feeling the effects of the leg drop.
Shannan Lerch: What a great showing early on by both of these guys. I rea..
A commotion in the crowd cuts Shannan off mid sentence as the cameraman pans out to see Frost running through the crowd.
Shannan Lerch: That's Frost from the This_Is_War team! We saw him debut last week!
Frost hops on top of the barricade and everyone in the rings attention turns to him.
Zach Davis: What is he doing out here? Scouting the competition?
Shannan Lerch: I think a better question is, why is he wearing a suit and tie?
From the other side of the ring another commotion causes everyone's attention to switch away from Frost and to Ingvar who is making his way slowly through the crowd.
Shannan Lerch: And that's his teammate, Ingvar....also in a suit and tie. How odd is this?
Ingvar steps over the barricade and stands with his muscular arms crossed in front of his massive chest, covering up his tie in the process. Trinity, Dan and referee Johnson all seem a little worried as their attention switches back and forth between the two, however neither seem to eager to do anything.
Zach Davis: I don't understa...wait a second. Shannan look over there!
Shaun Jackson, decked out in a black suit and tie that matches Frost and Ingvar, slowly makes his way through the crowd and over the barricade before stopping outside the ring. Once he's in position all three step up to ringside, leaving the side of the ring nearest to the entry ramp as the only way out. Referee Johnson finally decides to speak up.
Referee Johnson: Hey get out of here you three. We got a match going on.
All three remain put at ringside, their arms crossed in front of their chests.
Referee Johnson: I said, get ou...
The lights in the venue suddenly cut to black as the familiar opening to "For Whom the Bell Tolls" plays. The crowd is jacked up and gets louder after every toll. After six tolls, there is silence. Then, the intro for "Blood and a Siren" by Index Case plays. After the little guitar intro, when the song gets intense, a spotlight hits the curtain and Creeping Death emerges weaing an all black suit and tie that seems out of place on him. He walks out onto the stage and down the ramp before stopping halfway down as his music cuts but the spotlight cuts, plunging the arena in darkness.
Shannan Lerch: I'm really not liking where this is going.
"4 Words To Choke Upon" hits as the lights suddenly pop back on and Jay Price walks out from the back dressed in a black three piece suit and tie with a pair of dark aviator sunglasses covering his eyes.
Shannan Lerch: And things just went from bad to worse.
Back in the ring Frost, Ingvar and Jackson have already slid in and begun to attack Trinity, Dan and the referee. Price walks down the ramp to where CD is and the two take in the show. Ingvar whips Trinity into the ropes and then catches him with a brutal spinebuster. Jackson is delivering knee lift after knee lift to Dan's midsection before finally picking him up and dropping him with an inverted front powerslam. Meanwhile, Frost has the referee backed into the corner. The ref is pointing at the WCF logo on his shirt which seems to be having no effect on Frost. Johnson's back hits the corner as he looks around for an escape, but before he can exit Frost lays into him with a series of stiff kicks to the midsection. He backs off and lets the ref stumble out of the corner and then he runs and hops up onto the top turnbuckle before leaping off and hitting a dragonrana. Up on the ramp CD and Price show their approval by nodding their heads as nearby fans boo them. All three members of the This_Is_War team in the ring pick up their respective victims and drag them out to the center of the mat.
Shannan Lerch: What do they have planned now?
Ingvar pulls Trinity in and lifts him up like he's going to hit a powerbomb...but instead he launches him over his head, sending him spinning through the air before he crashes hard to the mat.
Zach Davis: Wow what a move! He calls that "Odin Awaits".
Frost lifts the referee up onto his shoulders and then drops him with a cut-throat burning hammer. The ref's head hits the mat and he crumples into a heap. Jackson pulls Dan in and lifts him up like he's going for a suplex...but then he drops him straight to the mat with an Orange Crush. Price and CD then make their way the rest of the way down the ramp and slide into the ring as the three back away. Price tears off his suit jacket and then points at Jackson and then at Dan and tells him to pick him up. Jackson complies and then pushes him to Price who pulls him in and then hits a Wrist Clutch Exploder Suplex that drops him straight on his head.
Shannan Lerch: My god! Did you see how awkwardly Homeless Dan landed on the mat? He could be paralyzed.
CD doesn't even need to point, Ingvar just pulls Trinity to his feet and backs off as CD drops him with the Burning Hammer which draws an oddly loud positive reaction from the old school wrestling fans. The referee is somehow stirring, so Frost lifts him back to his feet and whips him toward Ingvar who nails him with a filthy looking lariat that flips him head over heels. Jackson, not wanting left out, grabs the nearby Trinity by the ankle and applies the Snap Decision which causes him to wake from his unconscious state and begin screaming in pain.
Shannan Lerch: This..this is just sickening to watch. Those are human beings in there being beaten by...by...they aren't even people, they're monsters.
Price quickly ends the screaming with the Hit and Run to the side of his head. CD and Price then wave for the other three to follow as they exit the ring and then head up the ramp to a chorus of boos.
Zach Davis: You have to wonder what the reasoning behind this seemingly random attack is. Was it premediated? Or was it just a random showing of power by this super group that we saw at WAR?
Shannan Lerch: The more important question is, who's next?
Medical personnel appear on the stage and seem hesitant to try and pass the group as they walk pass. Once they disappear behind the curtain, the medics run down the ramp to the ring. The show fades out to commercial as they begin to work.
Russle Trombone vs Captain Punishment
We come back from commercial with a shot of a black briefcase hanging high above the ring. The camera pulls back to bring the ring into focus along with various ladders that have been set up at ringside.
"Funky Cold Medina" by Tone Loc kicks in and Russle Trombone is shoved through the curtains. He stumbles, but manages not to fall.
Kyle Steel: The following is a ladder match. Introducing first, from Carbondale Pennsylvania......Russle Trombone!
The crowd as a collective unit gets up and uses this time for a bathroom break as Trombone makes his way to the ring.
Shannan Lerch: We haven't seen Russle since the WAR Match, wonder what he's been up to since then?
Zach Davis: Well there were rumors that he and Anastasia Petrova got a hotel room following the match. Perhaps they got together and made a little music.
Shannan Lerch: Music? What are you talki...OH ZACH! Oh, that's just wrong!
Kyle Steel: And introducing his opponent...
The lights in the arena all go out, plunging the crowd into darkness. Flashing red and blue lights being lighting up the crowd as out of nowhere "Hero" by Skillet begins playing over the PA system. Quick red, white and blue pyro go off from the stage as Captain Punishment walks out from from the back. He strikes a very heroic looking pose for the crowd who give him pretty decent sized pop in return.
Kyle Steel: From New York City....Captain Punishment!
He then raises his arms out in front of him and begins running at full speed toward the ring before sliding in under the bottom rope. Once he gets to his feet he heads for the nearest corner and climbs up to the second turnbuckle before proceeding to perform various poses, including an attempt to make a muscle, as the crowd again pops. He then hops out of the corner and removes his cape/bath towel before throwing it out of the ring and into the crowd toward a group of young WCF fans.
Shannan Lerch: Last week the Captain was successful in an over the top battle royal versus Homeless Dan, Stan Trinity and the Hotdog Mascot.
Zach Davis: I'm still convinced that was a fluke. I mean the only reason he won is because the Mascot tripped over her precious, dainty feet and fell over the top rope.
Shannan Lerch: And I'm still convinced that your mother dropped you on your head repeatedly as an infant. I mean really, you're infatuated with a pregnant woman dressed up as a giant Hotdog. You don't even know what she looks like under there!
Zach Davis: You slept with Jay Price and Logan, so you're opinions on love are as meaningless as a buffet in a strip club.
Inside the ring senior referee Stanley Moser nods to the time keeper and the bell is rung.
DING! DING! DING!
Punishment looks rather nervous in his corner as Russle slowly makes his way toward him. However rather than try and escape it seems as though the Cap'n is glued to the spot where he stands.
Shannan Lerch: Captain Punishment is going to need to use his speed advantage over Russle if he's going to have a serious chance to win this match. If he can tire out the big man early, he should be able to have time to climb the ladder and retrieve the briefcase.
Russle extends his arms and tries to tie up with Punishment, who responds by ducking under his arms and rolling away. Trombone turns around and again tries to tie up, but Punishment repeats his ducking and rolling strategy.
Zach Davis: Look at this coward, it's pathetic to think that he still has a job in this company.
Russle steps forward and raises his arms as if he's trying to tie up again, which causes Punishment to duck down...but Trombone remains where he stands and delivers a clubbing blow to the back that sends him to the ground. Punishment attempts to get up and Trombone whips him into the corner before running and hitting him with a body splash that drops him to the mat.
Shannan Lerch: My god I think Russle just crushed every bone in the poor Captain's body.
As Punishment tries to recover from having the wind knocked out of him, Russle uses the time to climb out of the ring and head for one of the ladders laying at ringside. He picks one up and turns to head back to the ring....when Punishment comes flying over the top rope out of nowhere and crashes into both Russle and the ladder.
Shannan Lerch: The Heroic Dive!
Zach Davis: It looks like he got a face full of ladder for his troubles though.
Punishment is the first one to get up and he grabs the ladder. He slides it into the ring as Russle begins to stir on the ground nearby.
Shannan Lerch: The Captain needs to move quick here.
Punishment quickly slides into the ring and gets to setting up the ladder. Russle sits up and shakes his head as he tries to recover from smacking his head on the barricade. He's able to look up into the ring in time to see Punishment finishing setting up the ladder and beginning to climb it. Russle pushes himself up to his feet and moves faster than he ever has in his life as he slides into the ring.
Zach Davis: I don't think Russle has moved that fast since Wendy's introduced the Baconator.
Punishment tries to scramble up the ladder but Russle grabs hold of his foot and tries to pull him off. The Captain fights back, kicking at him with his free leg. Russle responds by using his free hand to hit the Turkey Tap and Punishment drops off the ladder like a brick. Punishment rolls on the mat clutching at his private parts as he yells at senior referee Stanley Moser to do something. Stanley simply shrugs his shoulders.
Zach Davis: Seems Captain Pansy forgot that there are no dq's in a ladder match.
Meanwhile Russle has been positioning the ladder to his liking and is now looking at the case hanging high above the ring. He looks down slightly at the massive ladder before him...and lets out a loud sigh of despair. He places one foot on the bottom rung and begins to slowly make his way up the ladder. The members of the crowd that left for the bathroom during Russle's entrance return, and upon seeing him attempt to climb a ladder, decide that now is the right time to hit the snack stands.
Zach Davis: Hey that's not a bad idea.
Shannan Lerch: What's not?
Zach Davis: Uh, nothing. Be right back.
Zach removes his headset and leaves Shannan alone at the announce table.
Shannan Lerch: *sigh* For once can't we do a show where he doesn't embarrass us?
Back in the ring Russle has climbed up four more rungs and has to stop to wipe off the gallons of sweat running down his forehead. Punishment finally recovers from the shot to his crotch and he gets to his feet. He jumps up and grabs hold of one of Trombone's legs and tries to pull him off the ladder to no avail as he's left dangling in the air. Trombone shakes him off and resumes climbing. Punishment then uses all his strength to try and push over the ladder but fails to do more than gently shake it with Russle's weight holding it down.
Shannan Lerch: Even I'll have to admit that this is a little sad to watch.
Punishment looks around and spots the nearby corner. He runs to it and quickly climbs up to the top rope before leaping off. He grabs hold of Russle from behind and hangs from his back as he applies a sleeper hold. Russle continues to inch his way up the ladder with Punishment hanging on for dear life, but he's slowly fading from the exhaustion of climbing and the oxygen in his body being cut off by the hold. He tries to raise his foot up to the next rung but begins wobbling as a look of concern comes across the Captain's face.
Shannan Lerch: Dangerous predicament for Captain Punishment here as Russle looks to be...
Russle falls backward off the ladder with Punishment still on his back. The two hit the mat and Russle lands on top of Punishment, splattering him onto the mat in the process.
Shannan Lerch:..fading fast.
At that moment Zach returns to the announce table with a 64oz Diet Coke and a bag of cotton candy. He sets his treats on the table as he picks up his headset and puts it on.
Shannan Lerch: Where have you been?
Zach Davis: Umm, the...uh..bathroom.
Shannan Lerch: Since when do they sell diet coke and cotton candy in bathrooms?
Zach Davis: I..well..hey what's going on with the match?
Zach looks into the ring in time to see Russle rolling around like a turtle on it's back while at the same time squishing Punishment.
Zach Davis: Yeah, I defiantly had time to get fries.
Russle finally rolls off of Punishment and both men are down on the mat trying to recover from the fall. The remaining members of the audience are on their feet trying to will both men to get up, however they seem divided between the two.
Shannan Lerch: And this crowd just can't seem to decide who their favorite is.
Punishment is the first to stir as he crawls his way toward the ropes. He uses them to pull himself up to his feet as Russle is busy trying to sit up. Punishment looks over at Trombone struggling to get up, then over at the ladder that is still set up in the center of the ring and then back at Russle.
Shannan Lerch: Move you dummy!
Punishment hurries himself to the ladder and begins to climb. Russle pushes himself up to his feet and climbs up the other side at a rather unusually quick speed. Punishment reaches the top and gets his fingertips on the case as Trombone reaches the top on the other side. He grabs hold of Punishment's head and nails him in the face with a quick punch. CP stumbles a bit but keeps his balance as he comes back with a punch of his own.
Shannan Lerch: I really don't think Punishment wants to trade shots with someone that has brawling skills like Trombone does.
The two continue to trade shots at the top of the ladder as the crowd is on their feet cheering. The audience members that had left for the snack stands return in time to witness the pick up in action. Russle blocks one of CP's punches and hits him with a big right that staggers him a bit. Russle then grabs him by his head and bangs him face first off the top. Punishment slips down the ladder a few rungs but catches himself before he falls off completely. Russle uses the time to climb up the last few rungs and reach up for the briefcase.
Zach Davis: This could be it. This could be the end of the match right here.
Punishment shakes the cobwebs from his head and scurries up the ladder. He reaches the top and quickly chops Russle in the chest fat. Russle pulls his fingers off the case and holds his chest as Punishment slaps him across the face.
Shannan Lerch: Punishment is really showing an aggressive side here, must be the spirit of competition.
Zach Davis: Or maybe he's not as righteous as he claims.
Russle swings wildly at Punishment, who ducks it and then hits a kick to the head out of nowhere. Trombone loses his footing and falls backward off the ladder. Punishment stands at the top and looks up at the black case hanging just a foot above his head. He starts to reach for it and then stops.
Shannan Lerch: What's he doing? Reach for it you idiot!
Punishment looks out at the crowd who is yelling for him to grab the case. Then he looks down at Trombone.
Shannan Lerch: He wouldn't.
Punishment climbs up to the very top of the ladder and balances himself as the crowd climbs to their feet and get their cameras ready. CP takes one last look down at Russle...and leaps off with the Flying Punishment. Camera flashes light up the arena as CP flies through the air and lands...on Trombone's knees. The ladder shakes for a few moments due to the impact and then falls over into the ropes.
Zach Davis: He got his knees up. Punishment went high risk for no reason like a fool and he paid the price.
Punishment rolls off clutching his ribs in tremendous pain as Russle rolls himself over onto his stomach and pushes himself up off the mat. He grabs hold of the ropes and begins to slowly pull himself to his feet. Punishment struggles his way to his feet and he tries to head back to the ladder. Trombone cuts him off by grabbing his arm and spinning him around before hitting him with the Turkey Tap. Punishment doubles over in pain and Russle pulls him in before hitting the Double Down.
Shannan Lerch: Back to back big moves by the big man. This could be his chance to get up the ladder.
Russle gets back to his feet and looks for the ladder. He spots it laying across the top rope and gets to setting it back up in the center of the ring. Once it's to his liking he begins to again climb it. Punishment is crawling on the mat toward the ladder as the crowd is willing him to get up. Russle slowly gets to the halfway point as CP reaches the bottom rung and tries to pull himself up.
Zach Davis: Look at him, he can barely stand. What a wimp.
Shannan Lerch: I'd like to see how you'd feel after taking the kind of beating he has.
CP pulls himself up to a standing position and places a foot on the bottom rung as he looks up at Russle slowly climbing to the top. The crowd begins cheering louder as he too begins the climb up the ladder. Russle gets to the top and extends his arm toward the case...and his fingertips brush the bottom. Punishment reaches the top and he too extends his arm only to come up just short of reaching it. Punishment and Trombone begin trading shots at the top of the ladder, with neither man looking particularly strong due to exhaustion.
Shannan Lerch: This match has already taken so much out of both of these guys. I can't figure out how they're both still in it.
Zach Davis: Pride Shannan. And unlike you and your cherry, both of them still have it.
Russle tries to grab hold of Punishment's head but he fights him off with an elbow shot. Punishment then grabs Russle's head and smashes him face first into the top of the ladder. Russle's head bounces up and Punishment does it a second time for good measure. Russle starts to fall backward with a dazed look on his face but manages to grab hold of the sides of the ladder and keep his balance. Punishment uses the time to climb up the last few rungs on his side of the ladder and reach up for the case. He gets both hands on the case and starts to pull it down when Russle recovers and climbs up to where he is. Punishment sees him coming out of the corner of his eye in time to throw a well placed kick right to the side of his head. Trombone is out cold before his body hits the mat 15 feet below. The crowd goes nuts as Punishment reaches back up and fumbles around for a few moments before he pulls down the briefcase.
Shannan Lerch: Hooray! The Captain gets the win!
"Hero" by Skillet hits the PA system as Captain Punishment holds the briefcase high above his head. He sits on the top of the ladder and pats the case with his free hand as the crowd goes nuts for him. The show fades out to commercial as medical personnel appear to check on the fallen Trombone.
Seth Lerch Segment
“Master of Puppets” by Metallica starts playing and out walks Seth Lerch to a mixture of boos and cheers.
Zach Davis: Uh oh, this is never a good thing when your brother comes out to the ring.
Shannan Lerch: I have a feeling someone is going to embarrass him before his time in there is over…either that or he will embarrass himself.
Seth walks down the ramp and climbs into the ring. He is handed a microphone when he gets near the other side of the ring by a ring attendant. His music slowly dies out as he lifts the mic.
Seth Lerch: I am out here this evening to make an announcement. You might notice that Logan is missing from this show. Well, thanks to his attack last week... he has been SUSPENDED!
The fans boo.
Seth Lerch: World Champion or not, he can't just attack me and get away with it! And-
“Remember the Name” by Fort Minor begins playing in the arena and the fans all stand up in confusion. Seth stops and gives an annoyed look at the entranceway.
Zach Davis: What the---? Whose music is this.
As the music continues playing a guy walks out from the backstage area. He’s wearing a cap backwards on his head, a wifebeater, cargo shorts and sneakers. He stands on the top of the ramp with an intense look on his face as he stares down the ramp at Seth Lerch in the ring, who is still looking both confused and annoyed. The man has a microphone in his hand. Seth finally signals for the music to be cut and it fades out as he lifts the mic and speaks.
Seth Lerch: You know out of all the years, of all the times I’ve been in the ring and been rudely interrupted, it’s pretty much always been by a current and established superstar. This time I have to ask not what the hell do you want…I have to ask who the hell ARE YOU?
The man looks to the side and smirks, suppressing back a laugh. He finally turns back to Seth and lifts up the mic.
Man: You want to know who I am?
Seth Lerch nods.
Man: I’ll tell you who I am and I promise you and everyone watching this that you will remember my name. My name is Troy Malenko.
Seth Lerch: Well, Mr. Malenko. I have another question for you. Who do you think you are to interrupt the owner of Wrestling Championship Federation?
Troy Malenko: Mr. Lerch, I am out here so that you and the rest of WCF can be introduced to a future star here in WCF. I’m here to show you who will be bringing in the fans, who will be upping the ratings on the weekly shows, who will be increasing the buyrates at the monthly pay-per-views here.
Seth Lerch shakes his head before replying.
Seth Lerch: I’m still not getting why you’re out here and who you think you are. You could have simply done like every other new guy here in WCF and proved it in your matches, you could have set up an interview backstage when you debut.
Troy Malenko: Well see, Mr. Lerch. That’s below me. I’m too important to just show it off in my matches. I’m too important for your scrub interviewers. I was told to make an impact here, that I need to wait until you come out here to make an announcement and interrupt you. To make sure you take notice of me and to make sure that I am heard and taken seriously.
Seth Lerch: What do you mean you were told this? Who told you to do that?
Troy Malenko smiles.
Troy Malenko: My mentor told me to do it. He told me how to get your attention. He told me how to make an impact here. I wanted to run in and attack someone. I wanted to run in and do something underhanded, but he said it’s been done here so many times by new wrestlers that it doesn’t even get anyone’s attention. What will get people’s attention is to do something that only the established stars will do.
Seth Lerch looks at Troy Malenko with curiosity.
Seth Lerch: Who is your mentor?
Troy Malenko: My mentor is…
Troy stops talking and thinks for a second. He shakes his head.
Troy Malenko: You know if I’ve learned anything from my mentor, it’s that I need to make the biggest impact that I can make. The thing is, if I tell you who my mentor is, you probably won’t believe me. He’s not even here anyway, so what kind of impact would name dropping do for me? You know what, here’s what we’ll do. Tonight was the official introduction to WCF of Troy Malenko. Next week? Book me in a match and when I come out to the ring, my mentor will be with me as my manager. You and the rest of WCF will get to see who is behind WCF’s newest star.
Seth Lerch starts to speak but is cut off.
Troy Malenko: Shut your mouth, I’m not finished yet.
Seth Lerch looks pissed off. Troy just smirks.
Troy Malenko: I promise that everyone in WCF needs to be paying attention next week when I make my in-ring debut. Not only pay attention to who my mentor is but pay attention to me. We will look back down the road and realize that this was the day that the greatest wrestler in WCF history made a big impact here and got everyone talking…
“Remember the Name” by Fort Minor starts playing as Troy Malenko drops his mic. He grins at Seth Lerch one last time before turning around and walking backstage. Seth stands in the ring stewing for a few seconds before getting out of the ring and walking backstage with a mad look on his face.
Doc Henry/Hotdog Mascot vs Moneybanks and Deruty
Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue hits, and Doc Henry walks out from the back. The fans boo as he walks to the ring before rolling in and standing in his corner.
Zach Davis: Here is Doc Henry. A multiple time Title holder in WCF... but I have a feeling his greatest success has yet to come. Doc Henry is a star on the rise.
"King For a Day" by Green Day hits the speakers, the Hotdog Mascot waddles out onto the top of the ramp to a roar of cheers. She prematurely celebrates, jumping around on the stage and throwing her hands in the air.
"Just wait till all the guys get a load of me!"
Hotdog Mascot skips around the stage swaying her hips and arms in rhythm to the music. The Mascot flees down the ramp and rolls into the ring, dancing in place till "King For a Day" cuts.
Shannan Lerch: I'm still confused about this whole pregnancy thing. Why is she wrestling?
Zach Davis: I assume the big hotdog costume gives enough protection that the baby should be fine.
Anthem of the Underdog by 12 Stones plays in the speakers. The lights are dim.The lights flash on to D-Day walking out to the top of the ramp with his belt and falls on his knees and throws his arms in the air, as soon as he throws them in the air fire works go off and surround him. The screen shows all of D-Day moments of his dead and forgotten special move. As also the screen shows a ring then the words in white and in cursive, the words D-Day. When D-Day get in the ring he raises his hands to his name on the screen and followed by all of the titles he has held in the WCF.
Shannan Lerch: Here comes the current TV and US Champion... D-Day!
The lights go out as white strobe lights flash and Marcus Moneybanks comes to the ring.
Zach Davis: And Marcus Moneybanks. This is his first match in a while, and his last match too. He's retiring after tonight.
The bell sounds. Moneybanks opts to start the match, and Doc lets the Mascot start for his team.
Shannan Lerch: Henry DOES need to choose a teammate, but he doesn't look all that happy about teaming with the 'Scot.
The 'Scot dances over to Moneybanks, but Moneybanks is in full business mode. He attacks, hitting forearms to the Mascot's head. He throws the Mascot to the ropes before hitting a Back Bodydrop. Mascot gets back up and Moneybanks DDTs him to the mat!
Zach Davis: The Mascot does have a big advantage with all of that padding. It really isn't fair. Its like how sometimes you're at a club and you think a girl has a nice rack, and then you get home and its all padding and not much actual tit.
Shannan Lerch: Yeah, Zach. Like you've ever gotten a girl to go home with you.
Zach Davis: In the words of Logan, shut up.
Moneybanks picks the Mascot up and lifts him onto his shoulders..
Shannan Lerch: He's going for the Backstreet Bankrupt already!
But no, Mascot slides behind him. The Mascot locks in a Sleeper!
Zach Davis: He's going for the Connector!
As the Mascot goes to execute the move, Moneybanks grabs him and throws him over the top rope as he's flipping!
Shannan Lerch: Wow!
Zach Davis: Have you ever wondered why the 'Scot uses that move? Maybe Logan is the father... it wouldn't surprise me, he IS quite the manwhore.
Moneybanks tags D-Day. D-Day goes outside the ring and picks the Mascot up, throwing him into the ring stairs.
Shannan Lerch: Notice how Doc Henry isn't going out of his way to help his partner. What a jerk.
D-Day then throws the Mascot back into the ring. He picks him up and goes for a Neckbreaker, but the 'Scot shoves him away. The Mascot kicks D-Day in the gut and then Powerbombs him!
Zach Davis: Wow! Big move!
The 'Scot dives and tags in Henry. Henry comes in and starts kicking at D-Day's head, cockily, and mercilessly.
Shannan Lerch: Sure, now that Henry could pin D-Day and win the TV Title, he wants in the match..
D-Day begins stumbling to his feet, trying to fight off Henry's attacks, but Henry grabs him from behind and executes a Backdrop Suplex! He then pins D-Day.
No, D-Day kicks out.
Zach Davis: Henry has become much more vicious lately... and it almost made him a Champion just now.
Shannan Lerch: He and D-Day have quite the rivalry, actually, having fought each other several times in the past.
Henry climbs up to the top rope.
Zach Davis: What now?
D-Day is up, and Doc flies off, going for a Diving Spear!
Shannan Lerch: Confederate Rocket!
But no! D-Day steps out of the way! Henry lands on the mat, gets up groggily, and D-Day starts kicking him...
Zach Davis: D for Destruction!
D-Day pins Henry!
Shannan Lerch: That was close!
Henry kicked out at the last second. D-Day picks him up, but he pokes him right in the eyes.
Zach Davis: That dastardly heel.
As D-Day stumbles away, Henry tags the Mascot back into the match. He comes in and measures D-Day up... and goes for a Diamond Cutter!
Shannan Lerch: Bang!~!
But no, D-Day shoves him away. D-Day then grabs the 'Scot and hits the Dead and Forgotten!
Zach Davis: This could be it!
Shannan Lerch: Moneybanks and Deruty get the win!
The two men exit the ring, heading up the ramp, proud of themselves. D-Day shakes Moneybanks' hand. In the ring, Henry looks down at the 'Scot, disappointed.
Captain Punishment Segment
Cameras catch up with Captain Punishment backstage as he is currently in the midst of an epic struggle with a new enemy: an evil soda machine that has eaten his dollar bill. Punishment begins to kick the machine with his boot as he yells at it.
Captain Punishment: GIVE *THUD* ME *THUD* MY *THUD* DIET COKE! *THUD* *THUD* *THUD*
Several WCF employees walk past Punishment and stare in amusement as he falls to his knees in front of the machine and begins to bang on it with his fists in an attempt to get the delicious soft drink he so badly craves. Hank Brown walks into the scene and has to stifle back a laugh as a single tear rolls down Punishment's cheek.
Hank Brown: Captain Punishment...foiled by a vending machine. This is a new low, even for WCF Television standards.
Upon hearing Hank's voice, Punishment quickly climbs to his feet and clears his throat as he turns to face Hank and the cameraman.
Captain Punishment: I wasn't foiled, I was just...umm...tired. Yes, tired from my match.
Hank Brown: Yeah, sure whatever you say. Anyway, everyone is surprisingly anxious to learn what exactly was contained in the black briefcase that you retrieved earlier. Have you opened it yet?
Captain Punishment: No, I haven't exactly had the time to do so yet.
Punishment shoots the evil vending machine a look as he finishes that last statement.
Hank Brown: Well then, is there any chance we could get you to open it up live for our viewing audience?
Captain Punishment: Hank! How dare you ask me su...oh you meant the case. Ohh, sure I guess we can do that.
Punishment grabs the black briefcase off of the ground beside the vending machine and holds it up to Hank.
Captain Punishment: Here hold this up for me Citizen Brown.
Hank reluctantly holds his arms out and Punishment sets the case down on top of them. He cracks his knuckles and begins undoing the clasps, slowly. Very slowly. Very, very slowly.
Hank Brown: Will you hurry it up already!
Captain Punishment: Well excuse me for trying to build up the anticipation.
Punishment throws open the case and extracts a single, large white card with a simple message spelled out in yellow letters on it. Punishment reads the card to himself and then drops it to the ground as he backs away with a look of horror coming over his masked face. The cameraman tilts the camera downward to show the viewing audience what it says:
You've Won A Free Date With The Hotdog Mascot
Captain Punishment: No! No! Nooooo!
Punishment takes off running at full speed leaving behind the briefcase and card. At that moment, his Diet Coke comes out of the vending machine and lands on the ground at Hank's feet.
Hank Brown: This day just keeps getting better.
Hank reaches down and retrieves the soda before popping it open and walking off, effectively ending the scene.
Oblivion vs Frost/Ingvar
From through the crowd comes Ingvar and Frost, heading toward the ring. They hop the rail and enter the ring.
There are a mixture of cheers and boos, more cheers than boos. The crowd stands onto their feet and rush towards the security railings. Oblivion slowly slinks out to the entrance stage low to the ground, as the Cow Palace explodes with cheers and some boos. Oblivion has it's arms extended outward, with it's index fingers pointing. Oblivion's bodyguard, Havok stands behind him. As the guitar solo begins, lazers flash throughout the arena. Thunder-like sounds rattle the arena, as lighting strike-like sounds shake the foundation of the Cow Palace, as the music continues. Oblivion slowly stands up, with it's arms extended outward, spins around. Several members of The Gathering begin to slink out, what seems like from out of nowhere. As Oblivion and Havok get to ringside, It pops it's neck, as Oblivion holds it's arms outward. Havok rubs his gloved hands together and adjusts his own neck. Coming out to the top of the entrance ramp are four men known as W.H.O. They are wearing black suits, along with black sunglasses. They are wearing ear pieces for communication with an unknown source. All four men are tall and seems to be in top physical condition. All four have their arms folded, as they keep an eye on Oblivion, Havok, and The Gathering. The Gathering continues to slink around, tormenting the crowd, nearby. Oblivion slides under the ring ropes, as Havok climbs over the top rope. Oblivion walks over to a corner and climbs up to the second turnbuckle and raises it's arms to an mostly cheering crowd, as Havok stands tall, behind Oblivion. Oblivion jumps down and walks over to the center of the ring. The Gathering slither away under the ring, with blood on their hands. The W.H.O. begin to slowly walk down the entrance ramp. Several thousand cameras flash throughout the arena, as Oblivion strikes a muscular pose. The four men of W.H.O. stand on each side of the ring, keeping a vigilant eye on the surrounding areas.
Shannan Lerch: Oblivion is ready to kill someone!
The bell rings, and we are off. Frost is told to stand on the outside of the ring, as Ingvar will start the match. Frost doesn't give in to authority, however, as he hits the ref and yells something about not being under rule!
Zach Davis: What the?
The ref calls for the bell once again, and Frost has been DQed already! He's livid, but he gets blindsided by Oblivion, who isn't happy! He attacks Frost with a flurry of punches, and then turns his attention to Ingvar, knocking the big man out of the ring!
Shannan Lerch: Go Oblivion go!
Oblivion turns his attention back to Frost, and hits him with the Soultaker! Ingvar tries to get back in, but Oblivion kicks him in the head, and Ingvar simply pulls Frost out of the ring, carrying him to the back, leaving Oblivion stand tall in the ring, Ingvar wanting no part of Oblivion.
Zach Davis: What a bunch of low life bastards. Who does something like that?
Shannan Lerch: Lazy people.
Johnny Reb/Paul Dangerous vs The Big Time Jerks
"Bad Company" begins to play over the venue's PA system. Anticipation fills the air, and the crowd begins to cheer as Johnny Reb steps out, dressed in a grey Confederate frock coat and an officer's slouch hat. His manager, Don Jesus, is right behind him. The music plays on; the lyrics begin. "Company, always on the run. Destiny...is the rising sun. I was born, 6-gun in my hand. Behind a gun, I make my final stand." Johnny makes his way toward the ring at a dignified pace, matching the song's cadence. "That's why they call me..." Here, the tempo picks up. The Inveterate Confederate stops, raising his head and spreading his arms wide, to coax more adulation from the crowd. "Bad Company! And I can't deny..." As the fans sing along, Johnny moves toward the ring once more. "Bad company, 'til the day I die..." Reb mounts the ring steps and climbs in, holding the ropes for his manager. He runs to the far corner, ascending to the second turnbuckle, and throws his hands in the air, posing for the audience. There is a brief reprise of the chorus before the music fades away. Johnny hops down and shrugs off his coat, passing it and his hat to Don Jesus, who exits the ring as Reb awaits the bell.
Zach Davis: Aanndd here is Johnny Reb. I thought he might choose Paul Dangerous for his PPV match at Helloween, but as we saw earlier tonight, I guess not.
The opening lyric 'Dangeeeeeerrrrr' sounds out, Paul Dangerous comes out from within a massive billow of smoke, choking from the excess amount of smoke. He feigns slappinng the fans hands but then remembers the likelihood of catching diseases from them and so pulls back at the last second. He pretty much drags himself up the ring steps, and on finally entering the ring he lets out his signiture scream of "I....AM....DANGEROUS!"
Shannan Lerch: And here is the most Dangerous individual in WCF today, Paul Dangerous.
Zach Davis: If by "most Dangerous" you mean "he is the only one that has Dangerous as his last name" then yes, yes I can agree with that.
"Cry Little Sister" by Seasons After starts playing and out walks Adam, Austin and Michael in the smoked filled entranceway. The fans start chanting BTJ as the trio makes its way to the ring. The trio walk towards the ring with icey glares as the fans keep chanting BTJ. Adam slides in under the top rope and Austin flips over the top rope. They stand in the middle of the ring and give the BTJ sign, only the last three fingers up in the air.
Shannan Lerch: Former Tag Team Champs.. the Big Time Jerks!
Referee Stanley Moser waits as Adams as Reb step out onto the ring apron leaving their respective partners to start the match, and then he signals for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
Dangerous and Young circle the ring a few times as they size each other up and then they lock up. Young gains quick control over Dangerous and takes him to the mat with an arm drag. Dangerous rushes back to his feet and Young takes him right back down with another arm drag, only this time he quickly follows it up with an elbow drop right across the face. As Dangerous flails on the mat clutching his face, Young gets back to his feet and proceeds to drop a couple of quick knees onto his chest before going for the pin attempt.
And Dangerous quickly kicks out of the pin. Young pulls him to his feet and shoots him into the ropes before hitting him with a standing dropkick. As Dangerous stays down Young walks over and tags in an eager Adams. Young stays in the ring for a moment as the pair wait for Dangerous to get to his feet. He does so...and is rewarded with a double superkick to the jaw. Adams goes for the pin attempt.
And Johnny Reb has seen enough as he rushes into the ring and delivers a stomp to the back of Adams' head, breaking up the pin. He rushes across the ring and knocks Young off the ring apron and to the floor with a forearm shot. Referee Stanley Moser is in Reb's face now yelling him to get out of the ring as he is not the legal man. Reb argues back that he did nothing about the double team attack, but he complies and exits the ring. Dangerous is back up on his feet and trying to make it to his corner when Adams cuts him off and whips him into the BTJ corner. Adams then distracts the referee by complaining that something is in his eye, and with his back turned, Young uses the opportunity to choke out Dangerous from behind. Reb screams at the referee to look behind him but he's too busy concerning himself with Adams eye "injury".
Stanley Moser: What's wrong with it?
Adams: It hurts.
Stanley Moser: I see nothing wrong, suck it up Nancy.
Moser turns around in time to see Young choking out Dangerous from behind and he rushes over to break it up. Young complies and he lets Paul drop to the mat.
Stanley Moser: Pull that stunt again and I'll disqualify both of you, got it.
Young raises both of his arms innocently in the air as Adams pulls Dangerous up to his feet...but Paul starts to fight back out of nowhere with quick punches to the midsection! He snaps off a drop toe hold that sends Adams to the mat and he makes a mad dash for his corner where he tags in a fresh Johnny Reb much to the crowds delight. Reb runs full speed across the ring and hits a slow to his feet Adams with a running bulldog. He gets to his feet and rewards a recovered Young with another forearm shot that knocks him off the apron. Reb turns his focus back to Adams who is slowly making his way back to his feet.
Shannan Lerch: Reb looks like he wants to end it right here.
Adams gets up and Reb spins him around before nailing him with the facebreaker ddt. Reb then hits the corner and climbs to the top rope looking for the Southern Discomfort...when out of nowhere Young appears on the apron and grabs his leg, causing him to slip off and onto the mat. Referee Moser gets in the BTJ corner and gets into an argument with Young about his actions as Adams and Reb both get up to their feet and tie up. Reb gets control and he whips him into his corner. Reb rushes him and hits a running clothesline that drops him to the mat. Reb climbs up to the top rope looking for the Southern Discomfort...and Dangerous reaches up and tags himself in without Reb realizing it.
Zach Davis: Dangerous just tagged himself in! And I don't think Reb has a clue that he did it.
The ref saw it and it's made official. Reb flies off and hits the move before going for the pin fall but Stanley Moser won't count it. Reb gets up and demands to know whats going on and he explains the situation to him. Meanwhile Dangerous climbs into the ring and pulls Adams to his feet before hitting him with The Dangerous Combination. Adams begins tapping almost immediately and Referee Moser calls for the bell as a bewildered Johnny Reb looks around.
Shannan Lerch: Johnny Reb had this match firmly in his grasps for his team but his partner took it upon himself to get into the match and pick up the win. You have to wonder what's going through Reb's mind right now.
As Dangerous gets up and celebrates, Reb remains put, choosing to stare him down. The referee tries to raise his arm along with Paul's but he wants nothing to do with it, instead he climbs out of the ring and heads up the ramp. Dangerous shrugs his shoulders and goes back to celebrating as the show fades out.