Slam Intro
Russle Trombone vs Bo Young vs Troy Malenko
Television Title Match: Chris Avery vs D-Day
Captain Punishment vs Paul Dangerous
The Return
Oblivion/Hotdog Mascot vs Johnny Reb/Doc Henry
This Is War Segment

Slam Intro

Opposite of Adults by Chiddy Bang hits and Slam is on the air from the God-forsaken Cow Palace.

Zach Davis: Welcome to Slam! How do we keep selling this place out week after week?

Shannan Lerch: Beats me.

Zach Davis: Big show tonight! This_Is_War is announcing their third member in Helloween's elimination tag match... this could be epic.

Shannan Lerch: We have our Oblivion/Hotdog Mascot vs Johnny Reb/Doc Henry match. This is most likely the last time Johnny Reb and Doc Henry will ever team up.

Zach Davis: The New Confederacy is no more... can they defeat this bizarre, makeshift team? We'll see.

Shannan Lerch: We have Captain Punishment versus Paul Dangerous. I can only imagine how a match between those two is going to go.

Zach Davis: Chris Avery, of This_Is_War, is facing D-Day for the Television Title. Very intriguing matchup..

Shannan Lerch: If This_Is_War wins any gold, its definitely a boost for them going into Helloween, no doubt.

Zach Davis: And in our opener, we've got a triple threat between Russle Trombone, Bo Young and Troy Malenko!

Shannan Lerch: Lets do this!

Russle Trombone vs Bo Young vs Troy Malenko

Shannan Lerch: We are all set-up. Let's begin Slam with the opening bout. Ring announcer Kyle Steel, is already in the ring. Take it away, Kyle...


“Remember the Name” by Fort Minor hits the speakers and out walks Troy Malenko who stops at the top of the ramp. There is a wave of boos, coming from the crowd.

Kyle Steel: From Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.... Weighing in at 233 pounds. TROY-OY-OY-OY MA-A-A-ALE-E-ENKO-O-O-O!!!

Fireworks begin to shoot from the ramp all the way across simultaneously. When the first set goes off, Malenko throws his arms back in a cocky manner, knocking the robe off of his body.

Zach Davis: Did you know that Troy Malenko is a distant cousin of another pro wrestler Dean Malenko?

Shannan Lerch: Not to sound rude, but...really?

Zach Davis: Troy Malenko is a high skilled amateur wrestler with a mixed martial-arts backbround.

When the second set of fireworks hits, he starts walking down the ramp, his manager Gravedigger following right behind him.

Shannan Lerch: He also has Gravedigger as a manager? No way!

Zach Davis: Apparently so. Wonder how Seth is gonna take this? I don't think he's gonna like this, one bit.

Shannan Lerch: If I know my brother, Seth is not going to like it at all.

Troy walks up the ring steps and sits on the rope as Gravedigger climbs the stairs behind him and climbs into the ring. Troy bounces off the middle rope and walks to each side of the ring, riling the crowd up. He finally stands in a corner with Gravedigger, waiting.

"Malice" by Endo starts playing as "Ice" Bo Young steps out into the arena. Some, of the crowd stand up and look towards the entrance ramp.

Kyle Steel: From Abilene, Texas.... weighing in at 255 pounds. "I-I-I-ICE" BO-O-O YOU-OU-OU-OUNG!!!

He throws up the double bird and walks towards the ring, as the San Francisco crowd show their resentmental responses, back at Young.

Shannan Lerch: Now, for our third and final participant, in the match.

"Funky Cold Medina" by Tone Loc kicks in and Russle Trombone is shoved through the curtains. He stumbles, but manages not to fall.

Kyle Steel: Walking to the ring from Carbondale, Pennsylvania... weighing at 300 pounds. RUSSEL-EL-ELL-L TRO-O-O-O-OMBO-O-O-ONE!!!

Some of the crowd is taking for a bathroom break.

Zach Davis: Shannan, some of the crowd are leaving. What's going on?

Shannan Lerch: I guess, most people will take this time to go get some snacks or goto the bathroom. Or go outside for a smoke. Whatever. This IS just the first match.


Zach Davis: And here-re-ere we go-o-o-o!!

Crowd: YOU SUCK!!! <clap-clap> YOU SUCK!!! <clap-clap> YOU SUCK!! <clap-clap>

Shannan Lerch: I guess the entire crowd here in The Cow Palace, does not have one person to root for!!

All three wrestlers charge at each other and begin to throw punches at each other. Lefts and rights are thrown viciously, as each wrestler are taking and recieving punches. Bo Young, decides to kick Malenko and Trombone in their mid-sections with vicious kicks. With both men bent over, from the kicks, Young bounces off the ropes and clotheslines Trombone, then Young grabs Malenko, by the legs and nails him with a spinebuster. Young celebrates for a micro second, then goes for the quick pin....

A few people in Crowd: one...

A few people in Crowd: tw-.... no.

Zach Davis: It's amazing Shannan.

Shannan Lerch: What is?

Zach Davis: It's pretty much quiet. I can actually here myself talk, during this match! But, I think the fans are not giving these three wrestlers enough credit. I think these three are gonna surprise the crowd.

Shannan Lerch: I hope so.

Young grabs for Trombone, but Russell points away, to distract the referee. Stanley Moser looks in the direction of where Trombone was pointing in and there is Troy Malenko, who is beginning to stand and shake off the effects of the Bo Young spinebuster. Trombone takes this brief opportunity and hits The Turkey Tap.

Shannan Lerch: Russell Trombone just hit a low blow on Bo Young!

Zach Davis: That's "Ice" Bo Young, Shannan.

Shannan Lerch: Well, exscuse the hell out of me, then!!

Trombone grabs Young and....


Trombone hits Young with a vertical suplex. Then Trombone picks up Bo Young very quickly and hits him with a second vertical suplex.

Zach Davis: That's The Double down!

Crowd: Bor-or-or-i-i-ing!!!

Troy Malenko looks around the disheartened crowd and then looks at Gravedigger, who isn't pleased. Malenko runs over to Russell Trombone and....


The crowd cheers!

Zach Davis: That woke up this crowd! LIGHTS OUT!!!

Shannan Lerch: Russell Trombone flies backwards, as Troy Malenko just nailed Trombone with a crisp textbook superkick!

Malenko grabs Trombone and hits him with a very quick right fisted punch, a left boot, then a swinging left backhand and then finished off the barrage with a spinning right heel kick.

The crowd begins to stand and cheer a little louder!

Zach Davis: Finally, this crowd is showing some life!

Shannan Lerch: With Trombone stunned, Malenko has a chance for....


Zach Davis: A German suplex?

Shannan Lerch: Yes, a German suplex!

Malenko drops an elbow. Then a second elbow drop. Malenko stands up, from out of no where Bo Young comes flying up to Malenko and grabs him by the legs spins him around and drops him with a flapjack on the top rope.


Bo Young jumps into the air then slams down with both boots and gives out a yell, as the crowd responds back in the same fashion. Some of the crowd comes back, from whereever they were, surpised. They are eating popcorn and drinking some of their drinks. The crowd seems surprised, as the remaining crowd are telling the returning crowd of the action they missed. Young grabs Trombone and proceeds to irish whip him but...


Zach Davis: Clothesline by Bo Young!!


Shannan Lerch: Another clothesline by Bo Young!!


Zach Davis: Bodyslam on the big man, Russell Trombone!!

Shannan Lerch: That shook the ring!!

Zach Davis: Uh-oh, here comes Troy Malenko again...


Shannan Lerch: SPEAR!! SPEAR!! MY GOD A SPEAR!!

Zach Davis: That nearly broke Bo Young in half!! Malenko is kneeling with an evil grin, as Gravedigger claps.

Shannan Lerch: Malenko is stalking Bo Young, walking with a look of bad intensions!

Zach Davis: I have a bad feeling...


Shannan Lerch: The Trojan Horse!! Young is in bi-i-i-ig trouble here. Malenko has it cinched in pretty well!! And now the crowd is finally on their feet cheering.

Zach Davis: Savages!

Shannan Lerch: But, Bo Young is too close to the ropes!

Young is slowly inching towards the ropes. Malenko is trying his best to not allow Young to get to the ropes, but Bo Young is doing his best inching towards the ropes. The crowd cheers, as Bo Young is using his free hand to claw, inch by bloody inch, to get closer to the ring ropes.

Zach Davis: I don't believe it, Shannan.

Shannan Lerch: What's that, Zach?!

Zach Davis: The crowd is encouraging Bo Young to get closer to the ropes.

Bo Young uses all of his strength to get close to the ringropes, as Troy Malenko uses all of his strength to keep Young away from the ropes.

Zach Davis: Young has a hold of the ropes. Stanley Moser is telling Malenko to let go of the The Trojan Horse!!

Shannan Lerch: But, Malenko is NOT letting go!!

Zach Davis is standing up and yelling at the referee

Shannan Lerch: Zach!! Sit down!

Zach Davis: Referee, do your damn job and get Malenko to relinquish The Trojan Horse!

Shannan Lerch uses her right hand and pushes Zach back down to his seat.

Shannan Lerch: What are you doing?!? Our job is to call the match, not to get involved.

Zach Davis: You see how the crowd is FINALLY enjoying the match. I just... I just want the crowd to get a decent match!

Moser: That's it, Malenko you have a count of five to let go!! One!!

Zach Davis: I have just one question, Shannan.

Zach is looking around.

Stanley Moser: TWO!!

Crowd: TWO!

Shannan Lerch: What is it, Zach and that's a two count.

Stanley Moser: THREE!!

Crowd: THREE!

Zach Davis: I think we are missing someone and that was three.

Shannan Lerch: By golly, you're right!

Zach Davis: By golly?!

Stanley Moser: Four!

Shannan Lerch: What's the question and that was four!

Zach Davis: Where is Russell Trombone?!?!

As Stanley Moser was about to say five, Russell Trombone flies across the ring and....


Shannan Lerch: Trombone just bitched slapped Troy Malenko!!

The crowd points and laughs, as Russell Trombone seems pretty proud, of himself.

Zach Davis: I think all that just did, was make Troy Malenko mad!

Troy Malenko rubs his face and smiles.

Shannan Lerch: Troy Malenko is just standing there smiling.


Most, of the crowd, is standing up, screaming and yelling.

Shannan Lerch: The Trojan Horse!! The Trojan Horse!!

Trombone is screaming out in pain, as Troy Malenko tightens up on the Trojan Horse, as the crowd is stirred up in a frenzy!

Zach Davis: This time Trombone is in the middle of the ring! Trombone is screaming out!!

Bo Young is on the top rope. Some of the crowd is pointing, in the direction of Young.

Shannan Lerch: Zach, the fans are trying to tell Malenko that Bo Young is perched on the top rope!!

Bo Young flies in the air....


Zach Davis: Bo Young just hit a flying clothesline on Troy Malenko, who let's go of The Trojan Horse!

Young grabs Malenko and irish whips him into the ropes and....


Shannan Lerch: ICE PRESS!!

Young keeps punching Malenko as he lands with the Ice Press. Young stands up stalking Malenko, until Trombone comes up behind him and...

Zach Davis: Sleeper!! Sleeper!!

Young slips out of the sleeper and....


Shannan Lerch: ICED!!!

Bo Young hits with a Stunner-like maneuver.

Malenko stands up...


Zach Davis: ICED!!!

Bo Young is jawwing at both fallen Malenko and Trombone before grabbing Malenko and tossing him out of the ring, over the top rope. Young goes for the pin on Trombone. Moser slides in for the pin attempt....

Crowd: ONE!!!

Crowd: TWO!!!

Crowd: THREE-....NO-O-O-O-O!!!!

Troy Malenko hits Bo Young on the back of the head with a double sledge hammer. Malenko grabs Young and....


Shannan Lerch: EMBALMER!!!

Malenko hits Young with a reverse death valley driver. Russell Malenko is still layed out cold.

Zach Davis: Troy Malenko goes for the pin.....

Crowd: ONE!!!

Shannan Lerch: It seems that Trombone is moving and sees the pin attempt.

Crowd: TWO!!!

Zach Davis: Russell Trombone sees the pin attempt and trying to get over to stop the pin.

Stanley Moser lifts up his hand for the third and final count, as Russell Trombone flies into the air as....

Crowd: THREE!!!

Trombone was a half second too late.


Shannan Lerch: That's it!! Troy Malenko has won our opening bout!!

Some, of the crowd are standing up and clapping loudly. The crowd really enjoyed that match.

Zach Davis: Wow! That turned out to be an entertaining match after all!!

Shannan Lerch: It sure did, Zach! It sure did!

Chris Avery vs D-Day

The lights flicker on and off and Fabolous' Lights Out plays over the speakers to a loud chorus of boo's. Chris Avery walks out very sternly as J.J. Biggs and Shaun Jackson follow him. The three of them crawl into the ring and raise their arms into the air.

Zach Davis: Chris Avery is in this match and a quick opportunity for the Television Championship!

Shannan Lerch: Day is kind of walking into a trap here, if you ask me. Jackson and Biggs in Avery's corner and we have seen what they can do.

Anthem of the Underdog by 12 Stones plays in the speakers. The lights are dim.The lights flash on to D-Day walking out to the top of the ramp with his belt and falls on his knees and throws his arms in the air, as soon as he throws them in the air fire works go off and surround him. The screen shows all of D-Day moments of his dead and forgotten special move. As also the screen shows a ring then the words in white and in cursive, the words D-Day. When D-Day get in the ring he raises his hands to his name on the screen and followed by all of the titles he has held in the WCF.

Zach Davis: Day coming into this bout as Champion and on the team of Team WCF at Helloween..

Shannan Lerch: Wait a minute!

Avery attacks Day from behind as Jackson and Biggs slide out to opposite sides of the ring. The crowd starts to randomly boo and the camera switches to the ramp where Troy Malenko and Gravedigger are standing on the top of the ramp.

Shannan Lerch: What the hell are they doing out here again? We've already seen Troy Malenko in action tonight? Isn't one time of Gravedigger per show enough?

Zach Davis: Apparently not and here they come down to the ring. We all know that Gravedigger has history with D-Day back when he was wearing the mask as Hector Rodriguez.

Troy and Gravedigger walk down the ramp with a purpose. Troy and Gravedigger each shove a ring attendant out of the way and fold up their chairs. They turn to the ring.

Shannan Lerch: Whoa, what's going on here??

Zach Davis: Gravedigger better be careful, Seth will have him removed from the building in a second this time around, he promised that.

Gravedigger and Troy Malenko walk up to the ring, chairs in hand. Troy and GD stop short of the ring and casually fold their chairs out and sit down in front of them, giving themselves perfect ringside seats.

Shannan Lerch: Anyway, back to the action..

Avery slaps the back of the head of Day before throwing him to the ropes but when Day returns he hits a huge spin wheel kick knocking Avery down! The crowd pops! Avery gets up quickly and Day hits the ropes rebounding into a dropkick! Avery gets up quick when Day hits a quick enziguri knocking Avery to his back and out of the ring! Jackson picks up Avery and helps him to his feet when Day notices the men on the outside of the ring! Biggs slides into the ring and hits Day from behind! The ref is talking with Avery through the ropes and is distracted..

Zach Davis: The bell hasn't even rung yet!

Biggs picks up Day and hits a huge DDT in the middle of the ring and slides out when Avery slides in and the ref rings the bell. Avery picks up Day and the crowd automatically boo's hard. Avery hits the True-Spin right on Day in the middle of the ring! Avery pins.



Kick out!

Shannan Lerch: Day kicked out!

Zach Davis: Avery can't believe it!

Avery slams his fist down on the mat and picks up Day and hits the True Spin one more time and pins Day!




Zach Davis: We have a new Champion!

Shannan Lerch: That's horsecrap! B.S. to the truest definition!

Zach Davis: Day didn't stand a chance with three of them!

Avery stands up and raises the Television Championship into the air with Jackson and Biggs raising their right arm in the air in a line. They quickly leave the ring while Fabolous plays over the speakers. Ringside, Gravedigger and Malenko are ready to leave. As D-Day struggles to his feet.. they applaud him.

Shannan Lerch: Guess.. D-Day.. earned their respect? Or something?

Gravedigger points directly at D-Day before the two men exit the ringside area and begin walking up the ramp.

Zach Davis: Wonder what this means... I guess Malenko was out here scouting, but what did they learn..

Shannan Lerch: And what are they planning to do with this knowledge?

Captain Punishment vs Paul Dangerous

Zach Davis: Our next match-up should prove to be quite interesting as we're set to watch Paul Dangerous go one on one with....*sigh*...Captain Punishment.

Kyle Steel: At this time, please welcome to the ring, Paaauuuulllll Daaaaaaangerooussssss

Zach Davis: Oh God, I forgot this guy wanted to come down and have a chat with the audience about "educating them". His words not mine.

Shannan Lerch: Zachary, I can't believe you could possibly forget (sniggers slightly) about the most 'Dangerous' (sniggers slightly more) man in this company (sniggers quite audibly)...ok I still can't keep a straight face saying that

Zach Davis: You and me both Shannan. Well, Paul Dangerous is approaching the ring, and as usual has to drag himself up those stairs. Not sure how you get veritgo from going three feet higher than the floor, but there you go.

Paul Dangerous steps through the ropes and approaches Kyle Steel (who is still in the ring). Steel goes to hand him the steel house mic that drops from the ceiling

Paul Dangerous: (to Steel) Thanks lad.

Steel goes to leave the ring.

Paul Dangerous: Hang on lad, what I need to say concern thee as much as all this lot here n'all.

Zach Davis: I'm not quite sure why Dangerous needs Kyle Steel to still be there?

Paul Dangerous: Y'see, I'm gonna educate yer right now. For weeks, I've been tellin' all o' yer theres a menace in this company. A menace thats bringin' a, what do you Yanks call it? A 'foreign' object to the ring.

Shannan Lerch: There's certainly a foreign douche in the ring...

Paul Dangerous: And I told that individual not to forget who I am. I'm tellin' that individual right now (turning to face the WCF camera) that lad -

Paul Dangerous turns around and smashes the house mic he has been holding right into the face of Kyle Steel. He repeatedly hits Steel across the face, causing blood to trickle from Steels forehead, whilst screaming at him "THERE AINT NO PLACE FOR THIS CRAP IN A WRESTLIN' RING LAD! I TOLD YER NOT TO BRING IT! I TOLD YER! YOU HAD THIS COMING!!!"

Zach Davis: My God, I think we've just seen Paul Dangerous completely lose his mind

Shannan Lerch: Thats not a wrestler he's beating down there, Kyle Steel is a 150 pouind ring announcer! Somebody get security out there! This just isn't right! What the hell has gotten into Dangerous?

The lights in the arena all go out, plunging the crowd into darkness. Flashing red and blue lights being lighting up the crowd as out of nowhere "Hero" by Skillet begins playing over the PA system. Quick red, white and blue pyro go off from the stage as Captain Punishment walks out from from the back. He strikes a very heroic looking pose for the crowd who give him pretty decent sized pop in return. He then raises his arms out in front of him and begins running at full speed toward the ring before sliding in under the bottom rope. Once he gets to his feet he heads for the nearest corner and climbs up to the second turnbuckle before proceeding to perform various poses, including an attempt to make a muscle, as the crowd again pops. He then hops out of the corner and removes his cape/bath towel before throwing it out of the ring and into the crowd toward a group of young WCF fans.

Shannan Lerch: Also on the losing end of things last week was Captain Punishment, who lost a three way match featuring Johnny Reb and the Hotdog Mascot. Hey Zach, do you think it was odd that both tag champions were in three ways?

Zach Davis: Actually I find it odd that Punishment didn't enjoy his one on one with Hotdog Mascot. I mean really, those buns are magnificent.

Shannan Lerch: Just once I wish we could go one match without you talking about your perversive thoughts pertaining to that giant hot dog.

Zach Davis: Well we could talk about your sexual history pertaining to the locker room.

Shannan Lerch: Hey look the match is about to start.

Inside the ring the referee calls for the bell.


And this match is officially underway. Punishment explodes from his corner and rushes at a surprised Dangerous before tackling him to the mat.

Zach Davis: Holy crap! Where has this Punishment been?

Punishment is raining blows to Dangerous' head as he still seems to be trying to figure out whats going on.

Shannan Lerch: We've been hearing all week that Captain Punishment was tired of hearing the talk that he was a joke. Tired of people saying that he wasn't anything but a comedy act for the fans. We're seeing that built up aggression coming out now.

Dangerous finally gets his wits about him and is able to push Punishment off of him before rolling out of the ring. However Punishment gives him zero time to recover as he flies over the top rope with a running, no handed Heroic Dive that takes both men to the arena floor. The crowd is electric as they get to their feet and start cheering the action. Punishment rolls off and gets to his feet as the referee begins the ten count.

Referee: 1..2..

Punishment eyes up Dangerous who is starting to get up and then runs at him looking for a shining wizard, but Dangerous sees the kick coming and ducks it at the last second.

Referee: 3...4..

Dangerous pulls Punishment to his feet by his arm and then whips him the short distance into the nearby security barrier. Punishment crashes chest first and stumbles back into Dangerous who drops him with a back body drop.

Referee: 5..6..7

Dangerous again pulls him to his feet and leads him to the ring where he picks him up and rolls him under the ropes. He then follows and goes for the quick pin fall.

Referee: On..

Punishment is quick to get his shoulder up as Dangerous rolls off of him.

Shannan Lerch: Way too early for a pin fall.

Both men are quick to their feet and they tie up. Dangerous uses his size advantage to take control and he whips Punishment to the ropes. Punishment comes back and Dangerous drops him with a drop toe hold before attempting the camel clutch. Punishment senses it coming and is able to escape the hold before it's fully applied as he scurries away. Dangerous is up to his feet before Punishment and he rushes him looking for a clothesline...but Punishment ducks it. Dangerous stops himself before he runs into the ropes and turns around..only to be met with a beautiful standing dropkick that sends him over the top rope and crashing to the arena floor.

Shannan Lerch: And the Captain is really holding his own tonight against his much bigger opponent. Even you have to be impressed Zach.

Zach Davis: Meh.

Dangerous slaps the arena floor in frustration before climbing to his feet. Punishment is waiting for him as he rushes the ropes and goes for a baseball slide. Dangerous sees it coming and sidesteps at the last second, sending Punishment crashing to the floor. Dangerous doesn't let up, getting right on Punishment as he drops an elbow to his chest followed by a second one.

Referee: 1..2..

Dangerous ignores the referee's count as he pulls Punishment to his feet and whips him into the nearby ring steps.

Referee: 3..4..

Punishment falls to the ground clutching his back in agony. Dangerous grabs him by his arm and roughly yanks him to his feet before whipping him into the nearby barricade back first. Punishment crumples in pain as the crowd, which had been torn between both wrestlers, is now willing Punishment to get back up as some have turned to booing Dangerous.

Referee: 5..6..

Dangerous casually rolls into the ring and then back out onto the mat, effectively breaking the ten count and starting a new one. Punishment is trying to crawl away as Dangerous grabs him by his ankle and pulls him back toward the ring. He then lifts him up in position for a backbreaker, but instead rushes toward the ring post, slamming the Captain backfirst into it. Dangerous keeps on the offense as he pulls Punishment up and rolls him into the ring before going for the pin fall.

Referee: One...Two...Th

And Punishment gets the shoulder up just before the three count to the surprise of Dangerous. Dangerous again goes for a pin attempt.

Referee: One...Two..Th

And again Punishment gets the shoulder up just before the three count as Dangerous still can't believe it. He gets to his feet and pulls up Punishment...who counters out of nowhere with an elbow to the midsection. He follows that up with another elbow shot and then a punch to the head. Dangerous stumbles back and Punishment nails him with the Heroic Punch from out of nowhere. Dangerous drops to the mat as Punishment runs to the nearby corner and hops up to the top turnbuckle.

Shannan Lerch: This crowd is on their feet and they are going nuts. They know what's coming next!

Punishment stands up straight on the turnbuckle and makes a few comedic muscular poses as camera flashes go off everywhere and then he leaps off with a frog splash. It connects and Punishment goes for the pin.

Referee: One...Two...THREE!

"Hero" by Skillet hits the PA System as the referee helps Punishment to his feet and raises his arm in victory. The crowd cheers loudly as he walks over to the corner and climbs up to the second turnbuckle and pumps his fist in the air. A distraught Dangerous rolls out of the ring and makes his way up the ramp as Punishment continues to celebrate in the ring.

Shannan Lerch: Yay for the Captain!

The show fades to commercial as Punishment exits the ring and starts to head to the back.

The Return

Zach Davis: Our next match promises to be something out of this world.

Shannan Lerch: Indeed it should. We'll have...

As usual, Shannan finds herself getting cut off in midsentence when the lights go out. People are getting pissed. They boo, wanting some wrestling. Silence is broke, finally, when a voice echoes through the arena.

"Cuz the pain that they're gonna feel after I'm done with you is gonna feed me. And give me that oh so elusive happiness. I can't wait to see them cry. I can't wait to see you shiver. I can't wait for you to be droolin' out your mouth not knowin' where you are. You can call me sick but the world is cold... bundle up!"

The voice trails off into "War Is My Destiny" by Ill Bill feat. Immortal Technique. The lights dim up a bit to let people see someone walking to the ring. The figure slides into the ring, the music cutting off. The lights stayed dimmed for a few moments, a voice breathing through the arena's sound system.

Man: So it's come to this. He fooled everyone into thinkin' he's dead and yet he rises up like the Antichrist. I was so elated to hear he had died but alas, it wasn't meant to be. So when he was apparently announced dead, I left this place because I was done with it. But now that he's back...

His voice stops for a moment, letting some suspense build.

Man: I had to come back to put him down. I can't allow him to live. I'm not here to fight This Is War. I'm just here to cut the head off of their leader. You guys wanna talk about waging war? You know nothing of what war is. My name is almost the same as War. The wars I've waged in my career have been nothing less of legendary. Here in WCF or anywhere else. People know when they see me, a war is going to be waged.

Another pause for effect mostly. People are talking amongst themselves as to who this man is.

Man: So now that Torture is back, I'm here to unleash my own war on him. He might remember me. He nearly took my life away from me. I took it from it and it was ripped from my hands. Then he tries to kill her while she laid in a hospital bed while I was powerless to stop him. This doesn't sit well with me to this day. So, Torture, consider this me calling you out. I know it's not for another couple of months but I want you at One. Not Helloween or whatever the shit the next pay per view is. I want you at One!

The crowd begins to rise on their feet, feeling the emotion in the voice that's speaking to them.

Man: I suppose you'll want to know who the fuck I am. So allow me to let you know. Hit the lights.

Before the lights come back on, "War Is My Destiny" starts to play again. The crowd loses their minds, their loads, their shirts and whatever to see Brad Kane standing in the middle of the ring. He looks focused, intense and extremely pissed off. He does a cut throat motion before heading out of the ring.

Shannan Lerch: HOLY CRAP! I totally forgot about Brad Kane and Torture's history. I can't believe Brad's back just to wage his own war.

Zach Davis: I haven't heard this man so focused in years. It'll be interesting to see what Torture does in response.

Shannan Lerch: Things just got more interesting...

Oblivion/Hotdog Mascot vs Johnny Reb/Doc Henry

The lights go out. In the name of God by Slayer begins to play, as the thunderous combination of the guitars, bass, and drums explode through the arena's speakers.

Kyle Steel: Weighing in at 295 pounds, from the deepest, darkest part of a sick man's psyche...... O-O-O-OBLI-I-IVI-I-I-I-O-O-O-O-NN-N-NN-N!!!

There are a mixture of cheers and boos, more cheers than boos. The crowd stands onto their feet and rush towards the security railings. Oblivion slowly slinks out to the entrance stage low to the ground, as the Cow Palace explodes with cheers and some boos. Oblivion has it's arms extended outward, with it's index fingers pointing. Oblivion's bodyguard, Havok stands behind him. As the guitar solo begins, lazers flash throughout the arena. Thunder-like sounds rattle the arena, as lighting strike-like sounds shake the foundation of the Cow Palace, as the music continues. Oblivion slowly stands up, with it's arms extended outward, spins around. Several members of The Gathering begin to slink out, what seems like from out of nowhere. As Oblivion and Havok get to ringside, It pops it's neck, as Oblivion holds it's arms outward. Havok rubs his gloved hands together and adjusts his own neck. Coming out to the top of the entrance ramp are four men known as W.H.O. They are wearing black suits, along with black sunglasses. They are wearing ear pieces for communication with an unknown source. All four men are tall and seems to be in top physical condition. All four have their arms folded, as they keep an eye on Oblivion, Havok, and The Gathering. The Gathering continues to slink around, tormenting the crowd, nearby. Oblivion slides under the ring ropes, as Havok climbs over the top rope. Oblivion walks over to a corner and climbs up to the second turnbuckle and raises it's arms to an mostly cheering crowd, as Havok stands tall, behind Oblivion. Oblivion jumps down and walks over to the center of the ring. The Gathering slither away under the ring, with blood on their hands. The W.H.O. begin to slowly walk down the entrance ramp. Several thousand cameras flash throughout the arena, as Oblivion strikes a muscular pose. The four men of W.H.O. stand on each side of the ring, keeping a vigilant eye on the surrounding areas.

Lies in the name of God!!!!!

Zach Davis: Jeez, this guy gets creepier every week…

Shannan Lerch: You’re such a girl sometimes.

Zach Davis (quietly): Too bad you’re not.

Shannan Lerch: What was that?

Zach Davis: What? Nothing. Oh, look! A distraction!

Shannan Lerch: Huh?

"King For a Day" by Green Day hits the speakers, the Hotdog Mascot waddles out onto the top of the ramp to a roar of cheers. He prematurely celebrates, jumping around on the stage and throwing his hands in the air.

"Just wait till all the guys get a load of me!"

Hotdog Mascot skips around the stage swaying his hips and arms in rhythm to the music. The Mascot flees down the ramp and rolls into the ring, dancing in place till "King For a Day" cuts.

Zach Davis: Ah, what a sight! Those perfect golden-brown buns do it for me every time!

Shannan Lerch: You really need to get out more…

"Renegade" by Styx begins to play over the PA system as Johnny Reb and Doc Henry step out onto the stage. Reb's title strap is slung over his right shoulder, while Doc wears his around his waist. Images of past matches play on the Jumbotron, while both men make their way down the ramp, working the crowd at ringside. Doc mounts the ring steps in a dignified manner, while Johnny slips through the ropes. Both men take a moment to pose for the fans, holding their title belts high for all to see, before handing them to the ref, and going to their corner to await the bell.

Shannan Lerch: And here are the Tag Champs in a display of solidarity! This could be the last time we ever see this entrance!

Zach Davis: I just hope they take it easy on the ‘Scot. She shouldn’t even be out here in her condition.

A brief discussion in the New Confederacy corner results in Doc climbing out to the apron, while Johnny steps into the middle of the ring to square off with Oblivion. The bell rings. Oblivion makes a grab for Reb, but Johnny ducks out of the way and aims a kick at Oblivion’s midsection. Oblivion catches it and pulls, dropping Reb flat on his back.

Shannan Lerch: Ohhh! Not a good way to start this match for the Inveterate Confederate!

Zach Davis: Not at all, Shannan! Oblivion goes for a Boston Crab…and locks it on! This could be a really short match…

Reb’s face is contorted in pain. He struggles, trying to rise and get some leverage, but Oblivion is far too strong. The ref kneels to check on him, asking if he’s ready to tap. Johnny shakes his head vigorously, and manages to push himself up with his arms. He strains for the ropes, pulling himself forward one excruciating inch at a time.

Shannan Lerch: Look at Johnny go! He’s almost there…another few inches…and…

Zach Davis: No! Oblivion hauls him back to the center of the ring! He was just toying with the Inveterate Confederate!

Reb collapses onto the mat, exhausted. He tries valiantly to rise again, the strain evident in his face, but he still refuses to tap. And then, out of nowhere…

Shannan Lerch: SPEAR!!! Doc Henry saves the day with a spear!

Forced to let go of Johnny, Oblivion backs off while the ref starts yelling at Henry. Reb, in the meantime, crawls to the ropes and tries to pull himself upright.

Zach Davis: It may be too late, though. Oblivion may have taken away Johnny Reb’s entire arsenal with one devastating submission…

Johnny finally gets to a standing position, but his legs are clearly unsteady. Oblivion takes advantage with a short-arm clothesline, knocking Reb right over the top rope to the outside. Without much haste, Oblivion slips through the ropes and follows him out. He hauls Reb to his feet and throws him into the crowd barrier. The referee leans over the ropes, shouting at Oblivion to get back into the ring.

Oblivion, of course, ignores him, his focus on Reb. Johnny pulls himself upright once more. Oblivion grabs Johnny’s arm, intending to whip him into the ring apron; but Johnny plants his feet and reverses it, sending Oblivion to crash, back first, against the edge of the ring. In the meantime, the ref starts counting.

One … Two …

Shannan Lerch: Here we go! Johnny getting into the game, at last!

Three … Four …

Zach Davis: Maybe not for long! Here comes the Hotdog Mascot!

Five …

The ‘Scot goes right for Johnny, wrapping his – or her – arms around Reb and squeezing tight.

Six …

Zach Davis: The Bun Pwner! Man, I wish she’d do that to me…

Seven …

But Reb throws the ‘Scot off and hastily scrambles back into the ring, effectively stopping the referee’s count. Oblivion follows right behind him. Johnny races across the ring, but his legs are still shaky. Oblivion grabs his shoulder, spins him around, and applies a front facelock for a brainbuster. Reb slips out of the hold and counters.

Shannan Lerch: Inverted Frankensteiner out of nowhere! Oblivion is down! Reb goes for the ropes and… Moonsault!

Zach Davis: It looks like the Inveterate Confederate is firmly in control! Here’s the cover!

One …

Two – NO!

Shannan Lerch: A little early for the cover, and a kickout at two.

Not at all discouraged, Johnny goes to his corner and starts to climb. Perched on the second turnbuckle, he prepares to launch himself off. Suddenly, Doc Henry reaches up and smacks him across the back. The ref sees it and signals Doc into the ring, as Reb shoots his partner a puzzled look.

Zach Davis: And Doc Henry tags himself in! Johnny doesn’t seem too happy about that.

Reluctantly, Reb hops down and goes to stand on the apron. Doc takes Johnny’s place on the turnbuckle. In the meantime, Oblivion has gotten back to his feet. Henry leaps off with a flying back elbow, sending Oblivion crashing to the mat again. Gathering his momentum, Doc grabs hold of Oblivion’s legs and falls gracefully backward.

Shannan Lerch: Catapult from Doc Henry, and Oblivion’s eating turnbuckle! What a turn of events!

But Doc isn’t quite finished. He grabs the back of Oblivion’s head and starts dragging his face along the top rope.

Zach Davis: This is a new side of Doc Henry we’ve been seeing the last few weeks, and at no time has it been more evident than during the contract signing for the tag title match at Helloween. Henry has become a bad mother –

Shannan Lerch: Shut your mouth!

Zach Davis: I’m talkin’ ‘bout Doc!

Henry concludes his assault with an elbow to the back of Oblivion’s head before he lets go of him. He reaches over and tags Reb back in, pointing at Oblivion.

Doc Henry: THAT’s how ya do it, son!

Johnny gets back in the ring and grabs Oblivion, setting him up for a facebreaker DDT. But Oblivion has had plenty of time to recover, and simply levels a punch at Reb. Oblivion keeps after the Inveterate Confederate, backing him steadily away from the New Confederacy corner. Oblivion whips Johnny across the ring to his own corner, where the Hotdog Mascot is waiting, bouncing impatiently on the ring apron, a hand extended and waving frantically for the tag. Oblivion snaps off a kick to Reb’s midsection and obliges his partner.

Shannan Lerch: Here comes the ‘Scot… um, sort of…

Indeed, the Hotdog Mascot has some apparent difficulties squeezing through the ropes. The hot dog suit keeps getting hung up, no matter what angle the ‘Scot tries. This goes on for almost a full minute before Oblivion gets tired of it and lifts up on the top rope. The ‘Scot finally squeezes through and, seemingly unaware of her partner’s assistance, does a victory lap around the ring, arms waving and golden-brown buns shaking.

Zach Davis: Ah…poetry in motion! Were there words to describe the depth of my rapture, I would write sonnets!

Cartoonish antics momentarily at an end, the ‘Scot goes after Reb with fists and elbows. He fends her off as best he can, but seems reluctant to retaliate. A lucky shot gets through Johnny’s guard, and he staggers blindly out of the corner. The ‘Scot capitalizes, setting him up for a piledriver, but Reb miraculously wiggles out of her grip and shoves her away. Overbalanced, the ‘Scot topples over backward, arms flailing wildly. Johnny takes advantage, rolling the ‘Scot over and applying a cross kneelock.

Shannan Lerch: There’s the Southern Cross! And the ‘Scot can’t reach the ropes! This match could be over!

Zach Davis: No! It can’t be!

Just then, Oblivion decides to intervene. He climbs through the ropes, stalking Johnny. The ref is there immediately. All his attention focused on Oblivion, he doesn’t notice when the Hotdog Mascot slaps the mat, trying to tap out. Oblivion stands there, staring down at the referee in silent menace. Johnny finally notices what’s going on and, distracted, loosens his hold. The ‘Scot slips out of his grasp, and Oblivion leaves the ring.

Shannan Lerch: I can’t believe it! The Hotdog Mascot tapped, and the ref didn’t see it!

Zach Davis: Thank goodness!

Johnny catches sight of the ‘Scot slinking away from him and rushes after her. She puts her hands up defensively, backing up and pointing repeatedly at her belly. Reb stops stalking her, briefly torn about what to do. The ‘Scot chooses that exact moment to go on the offensive, lunging at Johnny with an elbow. He sidesteps, just barely, and the Hotdog Mascot trips, falling down again. Johnny promptly climbs the nearest turnbuckle.

Shannan Lerch: Looks like the Inveterate Confederate has had enough of the ‘Scot’s chicanery.

Indeed, he has. Reb leaps off the top in a corkscrew shooting star, landing with a leg right across what should be the Hotdog Mascot’s throat.

Zach Davis: My god! This is brutal! How can he do that when she’s got a bun in the oven?!

Shannan Lerch: Give it a rest, Zach…

Johnny rolls the ‘Scot up, glancing back to keep an eye on Oblivion. The referee drops to the mat and starts counting.

One …

Two …

Thr—NO! The ‘Scot kicks out, just barely, and climbs back to her feet.

Reb takes the Hotdog Mascot back to the mat with a springboard arm drag. It looks like he might go for another pin when Oblivion enters the ring again, stalking toward Johnny. The Inveterate Confederate forgets all about the ‘Scot as he turns his attention to this new threat. Meanwhile, the ‘Scot regains her feet once more and sneaks up behind Reb. She grabs him and lifts him up, then drops him hard with a powerbomb.

Zach Davis: YES! Finally, a little payback for the Hotdog Mascot! What a perfect specimen of femininity! She’s got it all! Brains AND brawn!

The ‘Scot doesn’t give Reb time to recover. She grabs his legs and locks on a sharpshooter.

Shannan Lerch: I have to admit, these two really have their act together. Oblivion and his partner have been consistently working Johnny’s legs. You have to wonder how that’s going to affect his performance next week…

Zach Davis: That’s next week, Shannan. He still has to get through this match, and things aren’t looking – what’s this?

As Johnny struggles to escape the Hotdog Mascot, Doc Henry slips through the ropes.

Shannan Lerch: It’s Doc to the rescue!

Not wasting any time on finesse, Henry simply grabs the ‘Scot by the back of her hot dog suit and yanks her off of Johnny. Oblivion is in his face in an instant, and pretty soon, all four competitors are brawling in the ring. Fists fly from every direction. The referee wades in, trying to restore order, but is shoved out of the melee.

Zach Davis: This is absolute chaos!

The fight continues for several moments, until, almost simultaneously, Doc Henry shoves the Hotdog Mascot out of the ring, and Oblivion tosses Johnny Reb over the ropes. The ref finally manages to get between them, ordering both men to their respective corners, as the legal competitors begin to recover. Doc hops down to the mats on the outside, while Johnny climbs back in, and reaches for something underneath the ring.

Shannan Lerch: Oh, no…what has Doc got stashed under there?

Slowly, he withdraws something the crowd can’t see.

Zach Davis: What is that? It looks like… It is! It’s a bottle of ketchup!

As the Hotdog Mascot tries to roll under the bottom rope, without much success, Doc approaches and taps her on the…bun. The ‘Scot hesitates in her futile attempt to get into the ring and turns to look at him. Henry flips open the top of the ketchup bottle and gives it a good squeeze, sending a spurt of red tomatoey goo to splatter all over the front of the ‘Scot. She lets out a primal scream of mingled horror and rage. Laughing wickedly, Doc tosses the empty ketchup bottle at her and gets back on the ring apron, leaving the ‘Scot to stare after him.

Pissed off now, she eschews her clownish antics and slips through the ropes. The ‘Scot charges at a bemused Johnny Reb, who hastily dives for his corner, reaching for his partner’s hand. Doc pulls back, refusing the tag. Johnny throws his arms up in a gesture of exasperation and yells at Doc to get in. Henry simply gives him a smile and points at something behind Reb. Before he can turn to look, the Hotdog Mascot grabs him from behind and rolls him up.

Shannan Lerch: And a cover from the ‘Scot!

One …

Two – Kickout!

Zach Davis: Awww…so close!

Frustrated with the whole thing, Reb glares at the Hotdog Mascot as he gets to his feet. He shifts his gaze to Doc, who is now leaning against the ropes, his arm extended for the tag, acting as if nothing unusual has happened. Apparently deciding not to give in to his mistrust until after the match, Johnny slaps Doc’s hand.

Shannan Lerch: Here comes the Southern Rogue, back in the match at last!

Doc rushes through the ropes. The Hotdog Mascot stands her ground, gesturing at him to bring it on. And he does. Without regard to her condition, Henry grabs the ‘Scot’s plushy shoulders and fires a kick to her midsection.

Zach Davis: My god…what a bastard!

She doubles over, and he sets her up for a Pedigree. But at the last possible second, the ‘Scot shoves him away and makes a dash for her corner. Doc catches the Hotdog Mascot before she can get far, turning her to face him. He pulls the ‘Scot’s arm over his shoulder and lifts her up.

Shannan Lerch: Gambler’s Hand! The Hotdog Mascot is in trouble now!

Henry smirks at his fallen opponent and climbs the turnbuckles. Standing on the top, he takes a moment to pose for the crowd, and signals for his finisher. Then, with indefinable grace, he dives off the top rope.

Zach Davis: All-In! I can’t believe it! Poor Hotdog Mascot! Doc covers…

One …

Two …

Oblivion gets into the ring to assist his partner, but Johnny Reb is right there to stop him.


Shannan Lerch: It’s over! The New Confederacy, victorious in their last-ever match as tag team partners! This is incredible! In spite of their differences, they managed to pull off one final win!

As the ref raises Doc and Johnny’s arms, Oblivion gets down off the apron and storms up the ramp, leaving his partner lying defeated on the mat. The Hotdog Mascot recovers just enough to slide under the bottom rope to the outside, resting there for a moment before heading dejectedly up the ramp. Doc watches them go, gloating; Johnny doesn’t appear to be in a celebratory mood.

Zach Davis: Both these men have the momentum heading into Helloween! Doc may have the stronger partner in Tank Reaper, but Johnny’s got heart, determination, and the one thing Henry lacks… Honor! Is that going to make a difference next week?

Shannan Lerch: We’ll see, Zach. We’ll see…

This Is War Segment

Zach Davis: Welcome back to Monday Night Slam and as you can tell, This Is War is in the ring..

Shannan Lerch: I honestly hate these guys.. so much..

Zach Davis: Jackson, Avery, Tank, Biggs, and Torture are in the ring..

Shannan Lerch: Torture looks as if he's going to talk!

Torture: At Helloween, the team of Logan and Day and whoever else they have chosen will be going against the team of Jay Price, Creeping Death and..

Tank Reaper yanks the microphone from Torture and begins yelling!

Tank Reaper: Me! That's right, It's me! I'm the biggest and baddest son of a bitch WCF has ever seen and I'll tear through Logan and Day like a bad night of mexican food! I want to rip their heads off, I want to rip each limb apart from their bodies and throw them into the crowd..

Torture takes the microphone away as Tank's serious-eyes begin bulging out of his head..

Torture: I appreciate the enthusiasm, I really do, but Tank I'm not choosing you. You're already busy with Doc and I think I want to go less power and more methodical. Someone I can trust completely, someone that has enough of "it" to get the job done.

Biggs begins smiling as he obviously knows it's him. Jackson steps forward from the line and points to him. The crowd boo's.

Torture: Shaun Jackson you are a mighty man among us, but I'm sorry it's not you. Jackson, what I have planned for you is mighty larger than what Helloween has to offer. Jackson, it's not you.

Crowd kind of cheers as the thought that Torture might be in the match.

Zach Davis: Well who is it!?

Shannan Lerch: Biggs! He's a Former World Champion, he was a big time player in WCF! This main event is going to be huge!

Torture: At Helloween, Creeping Death and Jay Price will be joined by none other than the most trusted man on my team. He's a main eventer, he's one of the best WCF has ever seen and he is..

Zach Davis: Who god damn it!?

Torture: CHRIS... AVERY!

Shannan Lerch: What?!

Zach Davis: Avery is the third man!

Shannan Lerch: Biggs isn't happy! Look at Biggs!?

Biggs gets in the face of Torture and begins to complain and Torture is telling Biggs to calm down, calm down, but Biggs won't. Avery and Jackson are pulling Biggs back from Torture as it's mild at best. Biggs shoves Tortures, and the crowd responds with an "Ooohhhh". Torture drops the microphone and his smirk quickly turns into a face of seriousness. The intensity draws upwards of 20 levels as Jay Price and Creeping Death slide into the ring. They hold Torture back..

Zach Davis: Is This Is War imploding already?

Shannan Lerch: I don't believe so! I think Biggs just has a problem with Torture overlooking him!

Zach Davis: Biggs and Torture are going face to face once again! Wow! This is intense!

Shannan Lerch: I think Torture and Biggs are going to figh---

Zach Davis: HELLLL YEAH!!!!

Anthem of the Underdog by 12 Stones hits the speakers just as Zach Davis screamed and the crowd goes wild! This Is War doesn't even notice when Day slides into the ring but he's not alone!

Zach Davis: He has a steel chair!

Day gets to his feet from sliding into the ring and spears Chris Avery! Day unleashes holy hell as Tank, Jackson and Torture slide out of the ring! Price goes for a clothesline on Day but Day ducks and Price hits the ropes but Torture and Jackson grab Prices feet, trip him up and pull him out of the ring, as Creeping Death just jumps out and reels backwards on the ramp with the rest of the team. Biggs picks up Day off of Avery but Day goes crazy with a right hand, another right hand and a third right hand! Biggs gets thrown to the ropes and on his return Day picks him up on his shoulders and hits the Dead and Forgotten! The crowd goes bizzurk as Day leans up against the ropes and demands This Is War to get back into the ring..

Shannan Lerch: Day isn't done with Biggs!

Day picks up the steel chair and slams it down on the back of Biggs! Day yells out "GET IN HERE!". Frost and Ingvar run down the ramp to the team now and Torture begins talking to them. They all look into the ring and smirk. They walk slowly to the ring then split up. They now surround the ring. This Is War surrounds the ring that Day is standing in by himself. Biggs tries to get up once again but Day slams the steel chair on his back! Torture grits his teeth and yells at his men! They all stand up on the apron.. Day taunting them to get in the ring!

Zach Davis: Day has been pushed too far! This is it! Day is going to take on This Is War by himself!

Shannan Lerch: Helloween is setting up nicely now!

This Is War steps into the ring and all stand around Day. Day does a 360 degree turn before hauling off and dropkicking Tank in the leg knocking him down! The Team of Torture begin pounding away on Day and the crowd boos! Day is in major, major trouble! Just then the videoscreen lights up.

Zach Davis: What's that? On the jumboscreen!? What is going on?!

The jumboscreen shows a car hauling ass into a parking garage and then slamming on the brakes, pitching the car sideways to a stop. The crowd is wondering what the hell is going on. The camera zooms in on the bumper sticker on the car. It reads "Connector City: Population.. YOU" The crowd goes wild as the camera zooms out to notice Logan standing next to the car!




Shannan Lerch: This Is War doesn't even notice!

The camera shows Logan walking fast through a hallway dragging his World Heavyweight Championship title behind him as he shoves people out of his way. Two security guards stop him at the curtain. Logan smiles... he turns away and the crowd begins to boo.... Logan then slaps them across the face with his Heavyweight Championship! Logan stomps on both of them for good measure as the crowd pops! Logan shoves the cameraman down and the jumbotron blacks out!

Zach Davis: WHERE IS HE?!


The Struggle Within by Metallica NAILS the airwaves and the crowd all stands to their feet.. Logan walks from behind the curtain and throws down the World Title! Jay Price and Creeping Death turn towards the entrance ramp and demand him to get into the ring! Torture demands his team to get out of the ring and they do! Logan slides in and This Is War bails!

Zach Davis: Hey wait who is that-

Oblivion has entered the ring as well! D-Day and Logan quickly step away from him, not wanting to be attacked... but Oblivion is focused solely on This_Is_War.

Shannan Lerch: I think Oblivion is their third man!

Price and CD lead the charge up the ramp for This is War as they all begin to talk mad smack to Logan, Oblivion, and Day. Oblivion, Day and Logan are yelling and feeding off the crowd for This Is War to get back into the ring but it isn't happening. Torture yells out to them "SEE YOU IN HELL!".

Zach Davis: Well... actually, we'll see them at Helloween! And you too, fans! Goodnight!

Slam fades to black.