Johnny Reb Segment
The 'Scot/Captain Punishment/Leroy vs The Cult of Jerks
#1 Contender Television Championship Top Rope Battle Royal
Paul Dangerous vs Troy Malenko
Johnny Reb/Brad Kane vs Creeping Death/Jay Price vs Logan/D-Day
Seth Lerch/Troy Malenko Confrontation
Zach Davis: Welcome to Slam! I'm Zach Davis, and this is the bottle of tequila I've been drinking for the past two hours prior to this broadcast.
Bobby Cairo: ....And I'm Bobby Cairo, filling in for Shannan Lerch, who was injured last week in a dastardly attack by the evil Snidely Whiplash.
Zach Davis: Or was it Troy Malenko?
Bobby Cairo: I don't think we're sure yet. I'm banking on Snidely Whiplash, however.
Zach Davis: We're going to open the show with the one and only.. Johnny Reb!
Johnny Reb Segment
The house lights dim, and the intro to Lynnyrd Skynnyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" hits the speakers. Hushed anticipation falls over the crowd as a spotlight illuminates the stage. Johnny Reb steps out from behind the curtain, one tag strap around his waist and the other draped over his shoulder. He acknowledges the crowd’s cheers with a nod and a brief wave, but wastes no time making his way to the ring. Reb takes a mic from an attendant at ringside as he climbs through the ropes. He waits a moment for the music to fade away and holds up a hand to still the roar of the audience.
Johnny Reb: Buenas noches, Tijuana!
That earns him a cheap pop from the crowd. The Inveterate Confederate grins.
Johnny Reb: Thank you! Now, as y’all know, me an’ Mr. Henry –
He is forced to pause as the audience boos at the mention of Doc Henry.
Johnny Reb: Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, we had us a fallin’-out recently that resulted in, well, this…
Reb indicates the tag belt, formerly belonging to Doc Henry, on his shoulder.
Johnny Reb: An’ while I might be worth at least two of him… one man does not a tag team make. I had intended to make this announcement much sooner, but well… things happen. Tonight, however, I wanna introduce y’all to a young man who’s gotten my attention an’ my respect. This young gentleman is just full of untapped potential, a star in the makin’.
An’ best yet, he is a man of principle an’ honor; a rare thing in this comp’ny. So, without further ado, allow me to introduce my new partner… an’ the second half of your WCF Tag Team Champions…
The Inveterate Confederate extends one hand toward the stage, smiling. There is a brief moment of silence, and then “Danger on the Track” by Europe plays over the PA system. The opening lyric 'Dangeeeeeerrrrr' sounds out, Paul Dangerous comes out from within a massive billow of smoke, choking from the excess amount of smoke. He feigns slappinng the fans hands but then remembers the likelihood of catching diseases from them and so pulls back at the last second. He pretty much drags himself up the ring steps, and on finally entering the ring he lets out his signature scream of "I....AM....DANGEROUS!"
His appearance is met with mild confusion from the audience, but they cheer him loudly anyway. Johnny, still smiling, grabs Dangerous’ hand and shakes it firmly. Then, with an air of dignity, Reb takes the title belt off his shoulder, holding it up for the crowd to see before he hands it to Paul.
Paul Dangerous: Didn't yer see? Did I not tell yer all why I were here? Titles. Championships. And I'm pretty sure what Jonno here just gave me is one o' them. Y'see, this man here, this professional, he's the only bloke that ever beat me proper. And then I gets this call from the man himself. And I'm thinkin', well, he's good enough to beat me, so he's bloody well good enough to be a tag team partner. And the rest, well, yer seeing it in front of yer very eyes. And there's one more thing. See, theres somethin' else me an' Jonno here have in common. I'm talkin' to you, that man who still insists on callin' himself 'Doc'. Henry, be afraid, sunshine. Be very afraid. Cos before, you only had to deal wi' us one at a time. You ain't gonna beat us together lad. And do you know why? Because I...no wait....WE...are...dangerous!
PD hands the mic back to Johnny. Reb shoots the crowd an impish grin.
Johnny Reb: I couldn’ta said it better myself. Y’see… THIS…
He makes a gesture indicating both himself and Dangerous.
Johnny Reb: …is what ol’ Doc was tryin’ to prevent, when he “allegedly” attacked me backstage two weeks ago. If y’all thought the New Confed’racy was somethin’ before, well… just wait an’ see!
The Inveterate Confederate drops the mic as “Sweet Home Alabama” hits the speakers again, and both men leave the ring together.
The 'Scot/Captain Punishment/Leroy vs The Cult of Jerks
Zach Davis: I just want to thank you once again for joining me here on the Slam broadcast, Bobby.
Bobby Cairo: No need to thank me, Zach. Shannan Lerch is one of the kindest, sweetest and gentlest human beings that I've ever met. I was disgusted by what I saw last week when she was viciously assaulted by an anonymous coward. I am here to show my support for Shannan and to make sure that the coward responsible for that act knows that he will not escape justice. If I catch the mother[BLEEP]er I'll bleed him dry with my bare hands.
The arena goes dark, then a single white light hits the entrance where a Texas flag is shown above the entranceway. The entrance and aisle light up in blue light and smoke as "Ghost Riders in the Sky" by Spiderbait starts playing as smoke fills the entrance. Out steps four dark figures dressed in all black with black Stetson cowboys hats on. Nirvana has a black and silver covered tennis racket and he heads towards the ring yelling at the fans. Bo Young has a black bull whip and cracks it all the way to the ring. Austin Adams is wearing black fingerless gloves and his rubbing his hands together all the way to the ring. Adam Young is carrying a black Kendo stick and has his patened icey stare towards the ring. They all climb into the ring together and give the "Gig'em" sign as the lights fade up.
Bobby Cairo: These are four badass Texans and based on their choice in weaponry I would say they have devious intentions on their minds.
Zach Davis: This is the first time that we've seen the Cult of Jerks in action as a unit. Bo has been competing in the singles ranks and the Jerks are former tag team champions, of course, so it will be interesting to see how they work together in this six man tag.
Bobby Cairo: This might be the first time they've tagged together in a match, but I've been to Texas, Zachy. They have the finest whorehouses from all of sea to shining sea. I'm talkin bout here in the Red, White & Blue! I'm sure the Jerk have worked the old six-person intergender tag between silk sheets, if you know what I'm sayin.
Zach Davis: I believe that I do, Mr. Cairo. Say...can you take me to one of those whorehouses sometime?
Bobby Cairo: I'm a married man now, but... behave yourself and we'll see what happens, son.
Zach Davis: Thanks, pop!
"We Are Family" by Sister Sledge hits the PA as a giant disco ball ascends from the rafters of the Corona Expo Center and strobe lights flicker about. The 'Scot, Captain Punishment and Leroy appear at the entranceway. The 'Scot is jumping around the stage and throwing her hands into the air, per her usual entrance routine. Captain Punishment looks uneasy as if he doesn't want to be there. Pun turns around to walk away but walks right into the giant, twitching mass of muscles that is Leroy. Pun bounces back and falls to the ground. Leroy scowls at Pun and shakes his head sternly as if to say "Uh-uh. No you don't." Leroy pulls Pun up to his feet, turns him around and shoves him forward in the direction of the ring. The 'Scot hugs her son with a proud gleam in her eye.
Zach Davis: The Captain does not look happy to be here, and frankly I do not understand his logic at all. The 'Scot is the sexiest woman alive and Leroy seems like a real swell kid too. Why is Captain Punishment trying to deny his son? He's just a baby! What kind of heartless monster would say no to a baby?
Captain Punishment hesitantly climbs into the ring at the urging of Leroy. Leroy steps over the top rope and then holds the ropes over for his mother.
Bobby Cairo: That is the scariest black man that I've seen in a wrestling ring since Zeus in the movie No Holds Barred.
Zach Davis: He's just a two-week-old infant. Imagine how big he's going to be when he grows up!
The Jerks discuss strategy in their corner before Adam Young steps toward center ring to start the match for his team. 'Scot & Family appear to be discussing which member of their team will start the match. 'Scot and Leroy both point at Punishment. The Captain gawks at them through his mask.
Zach Davis: It looks like daddy is going to start the match for Team 'Scot!
Bobby Cairo: Makes sense. The father is historically the breadwinner or hunter/gatherer if you will in American families. They're keeping with tradition. Although I would like to note that women can do any job that men can do, and in my experience they often do the job better and for less money. Which is...unfortunate, of course.
Zach Davis: You're just saying that so that you can get laid tonight.
Bobby Cairo: Exactly. I love the fact that Seth is paying me three times what he normally pays Shannan to do the same job.
Referee Zip Wingdinger calls for the bell...
DING! DING! DING!
...and the match is underway. Young and CP circle the ring before Young shoots in with a single leg takedown and brings Punishment to the mat. Young lands some vicious strikes from top position on his grounded foe while also looking for submission opportunities. Young grabs hold of an arm and appears to be going for a Kimura, but CP slips out of it and scrambles back to his feet. Young unloads with stiff kicks to Captain Punishment's body. CP turns the tables and returns fire with stiff kicks of his own. The Captain bounces off the ropes with a head of steam and drops Young with a spinning heel kick.
Zach Davis: Nice move by the Captain! He makes the cover!
Zip Wingdinger: ONE...
Zach Davis: Kickout by Young!
Bobby Cairo: Captain Punishment is experiencing his share of turmoil at the moment, familial issues and all that jazz, but the man is a talented wrestler without question. I would go so far as to call him "underrated".
Zach Davis: That's high praise indeed coming from Bobby Cairo!
Pun tries to whip Young into the ropes. Young reverses CP into the ropes with an Irish whip of his own and puts his head down for a back body drop. CP anticipates Young's move and counters with a Sunset flip into a pinning combination.
Zip Wingdinger: ONE...
Zach Davis: A great counter by the Captain nearly gets the win!
Bobby Cairo: The Captain has been dismissed as a comedy character by some, but the man has a noodle in his noggin and it's a sharp one.
Zach Davis: The noodle or the noggin?
Bobby Cairo: The noodle of course.
CP whips Young into the ropes and drops down for a monkey flip. Young stops short of CP and drops a knee across The Captain's chest. Young seizes the opening and quickly traps Pun in a Deathlock Octopus.
Bobby Cairo: Oh shiz, now this is one painful hold right here, the Deathlock Octopus. Biohazard locked me in that one night when I was challenging him for the Mexican Heavyweight Championship down in Tijuana. It was one of a handful of times that I've tapped out in my life. The other times were with my wife Emily during the height of passion. That woman has a nasty Gogoplata.
Zach Davis: You can see the pain written in spades across the face of Captain Punishment even though he's wearing a mask!
Bobby Cairo: He's certainly got the crowd on his side, and sometimes that can energize a performer when they're down. I was rarely the good guy during my career and thus I was rarely cheered, but I do distinctly remember that happening during my early clean-cut All-American days here in Dub See Eff.
The encouragement from the crowd does appear to raise CP's spirits as he pumps his fist to ever-louder cheers while still locked in the painful submission hold by Adam Young. The referee checks with Pun, asking the masked superstar if he wants to quit. Pun responds in the negatory.
Zach Davis: The loudest cheers of all are coming from Captain Punishment's family, in his corner! Could this be the bonding moment that will bring them together once and for all?
Captain Punishment grits his teeth and inches toward his corner while Adam Young continues to increase the pressure of the submission hold.
Zach Davis: Inches...he's inches away! Can he make it?
Punishment reaches out...
Bobby Cairo: He made it! Pun tagged Leroy!
Leroy looks furious as he steps over the top rope with his eyes locked on Young. Young scrambles backwards as quickly as he can but Leroy easily grabs hold of his throat, lifts him into the air and slams him to the mat with a thunderous chokeslam.
Zach Davis: Oh My God! Leroy just shook the ring with that chokeslam!
Leroy drapes his forearm across Young's throat.
Zip Wingdinger: ONE...
Bo Young breaks up the pin with a boot to the back of Leroy's head. Unaffected, Leroy jumps to his feet and gets in Bo's face. The two big men stare each other in the eyes before each man unloads with a flurry of right and left hands.
Bobby Cairo: Yes! Big men throwing down! Who doesn't love this? Ooh! Leroy just popped Bo in the jaw with an uppercut! Down goes Bo!
Zach Davis: I guess Bo didn't know boxing...hahahaha.
Bobby Cairo: Leave the comedy to me, little man.
Zach Davis: Sorry. You were doing play-by-play so I just thought...
Austin Adams climbs into the ring to avenge his fallen fellow Jerks. He clips Leroy from behind with a chop block, sending the world's largest infant crashing to the mat in a heap.
The 'Scot: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bobby Cairo: Uh-oh...I don't think Mama liked seeing her baby boy take a tumble.
The 'Scot leaps over the top rope, lands on her feet in the ring and clobbers Austin Adams with a running lariat. Adams is shaken up but remains standing. 'Scot kicks Adams in the family jewels and then drops him with a Diamond Cutter.
Bobby Cairo: Bang! Austin Adams just got his lights turned out!
Zach Davis: Oh yes...OH YES! The 'Scot isn't done yet! Shake it, baby!
The 'Scot straddles Austin Adams's face, smothering Adams's flow of air with her crotch - which are the panties she refuses to wash because they bring her good luck.
Bobby Cairo: Uhhhhhh........what the fu--
Zach Davis: This is--
Bobby Cairo: What is this sh--
Zach Davis: I apologize for interrupting you, Bobby, but this is the Crotch Sauce! The 'Scot's world famous submission hold, which she innovated with the very loins that spawned Leroy!
Adams is tapping like crazy but the referee is distracted by the chaos around him and doesn't notice. Jerks manager Michael Nirvana slides into the ring and swats The 'Scot in the head with his infamous tennis racket. The 'Scot instantly drops to the mat. Nirvana drapes Adams's arm across 'Scot's bosom and slides out of the ring, all unbeknownst to the referee. The ref finally turns around...
Zip Wingdinger: ONE...
Captain Punishment makes the save at the last possible moment.
Bobby Cairo: Family unity! You've gotta love it!
Adam Young sneaks up behind CP and waits, as if measuring him up. CP turns around. Young pounces with the Sure Shot, but CP ducks and hits the Heroic Punch instead. CP quickly makes the cover.
Zip Wingdinger: ONE...
DING! DING! DING!
Zach Davis: Captain Punishment & Family have defeated the Cult of Jerks!
"We Are Family" hits the PA as the bruised and battered members of CP's team join together in the ring to celebrate their hard-fought victory.
Bobby Cairo: It's a beautiful thing when a family can put aside their differences and work together to achieve a common goal. I think these guys are going to be A-OK!
Leroy excitedly lifts his father (an extremely reluctant Captain Punishment) up onto his shoulders to celebrate. 'Scot looks on and happily claps her hands, a beaming smile on her face. The lights in arena abruptly fade to black while the deafening crowd is silenced in anticipation and wonder as to what is happening. 'Requiem for a dream' begins to play over the P.A. system. A slow creeping mist of fog begins to flow from the entrance ramp as if it were crawling towards the ring. Another shower of fog begins to rain down on the competitors in the ring and the lights dimly rise to a blueish tint in the arena. And to the amazement of the hushed crowd, a giant 7' monster, known only as MYST, stands above them at the top of the ramp. Behind his mask are the eyes of despair and imprisonment. He glances towards the 6 men in the ring still being encompassed by the fog all around them. The beast of a man turns his attention to the roof above and raises his arms as more and more fog begins to engulf him and the lights quickly fade to black and when they finally come back on to the regular lighted arena.....there is no man atop the ramp and just remnants of fog dispersing through the men in the ring. And on the Jumbotron is just one saying....."In the end there is only MYST..."
Bobby Cairo: What the...
#1 Contender Television Championship Top Rope Battle Royal
Bobby Cairo: If you excuse me, Zach, I need to go take care of some business.
Zach Davis: In the middle of the broadcast? Can't it wait?
Bobby Cairo: When you're an important man like me, Zach, some business just can't wait.
Bobby leaves as Fabolous plays over the speakers and Chris Avery walks out in a suit. His Television Championship title displayed proudly over his shoulder and a microphone in his right hand. Avery walks over to the side of the stage where a big chair is sitting. Avery gets onto the chair while his music continues playing..
Chris Avery: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Battle Royal Number One Contenders match for my TV Championship at One! Now, let me introduce to you the participants!
The rap music turns to generic rock music as a number of men and women walk to the ring, and Avery introduces each one.
Chris Avery: Your first man is a huge giant monster and his name is Tank Reaper! Following him is Shaun Jackson! Both members of This Is War and they're going to do great tonight.
The crowd boos but they change gears as Avery introduces more people coming down the ramp.
Chris Avery: Welcome from somewhere in the World Prince Jimmy Dean! And behind him coming to the ring is the one and only Gayfather! Following them is a few tag teams, ladies and gents welcome to WCF J-X and Twister!
Zach Davis: Look whose back! J-X, Twister and Gayfather!
Chris Avery: Welcome back another top tag team the Superfans, Mark and Marc!
The crowd boos hard.
Chris Avery: And The Dreadnoks, Creeper and Hacker!
The crowd laughs.
Zach Davis: Superfans? Ugh, you HAVE to be kidding me, and Dreadnoks? Wow! This is exciting!
Chris Avery: Now welcome back the lovely and beautiful Anastasia Petrova!
The crowd pops as she comes shaking her ass and taunting her breast everywhere. She slides into the ring. Behind her comes an official carrying a ladder and another one pushing a lawnmower.
Chris Avery: Welcome Damien the Ladder, and Lonnie the Lawnmower!
The crowd pops, and laughs.
Zach Davis: Wait? A ladder is in the match AND LONNIE THE LAWNMOWER? OH MY THIS IS OLD TIMES FOR SURE! Everyone loved Lonnie!
blahblah: It's a lawnmower...
Zach Davis: We know!
Chris Avery: Now welcome back WCF's best wrestlers Jason Kash and Wanderlust!
They both come out to HUGE boos.
Chris Avery: Please welcome back... BOBBY CAIRO!
The crowd pops but a midget wearing Cairo's attire comes walking in line and does his trademark taunts. The midget slides into the ring. Avery is laughing and getting booed at.
Chris Avery: And last but certainly not least, Welcome the Lone Wolf!
Crowd reacts to The Lone Wolf coming out and all of them stand in the ring. Chris Avery reads his paper one more time..
Chris Avery: Oh! I almost forgot! The final entry is .. RYAN DANIELS!
Zach Davis: What!? Oh yeah! Ryan Daniels is in it too!
All of them stand in the ring, including Petrova, A ladder and a lawnmower. The refs stand on the outside of the ring and signal everything is official.
Zach Davis: Well here we go! The Over The Top Rope Elimination match begins now!
The bell sounds and all hell breaks loose! J-X and Twister are both thrown over the top rope and hit the mats outside and are officially eliminated! All of a sudden the ladder is used and The Dreadnoks are eliminated at the same time! Creeper and hacker go over the top rope and are gone!
Zach Davis: Well Jackson used the ladder, but who gets credit for the elimination? Damien or Jackson? Ha!
Tank is getting triple teamed by The Superfans, and Wanderlust. Kash is now working on Petrova and pissing off all the fans in the building at the same time. Gayfather runs like a faggot over to the corner of the ring and gently clotheslines Jimmy Dean down to the mats! Jimmy Dean gets up and Gayfather hits a leaping slap to the face, and Jimmy Dean goes over the top rope and is eliminated! Gayfather screams in excitement!
Zach Davis: Oh Gayfather.. How I've missed him!
Gayfather turns around and Wanderlust tries to eliminate him! Gayfather holds onto the ropes but Wanderlust kicks him off! Ryan Daniels yells out "HE'S NOT EVEN REALLY GAY!" The crowd yells back "QUIT SHOOTING!" Daniels turns around and gets a kick from Wanderlust knocking him down! Midget Cairo is still holding the bottom turnbuckle down in the corner not moving. The Superfans and now Kash are keeping Tank in the corner and keeping him down. Petrova grabs the ladder from Jackson and slaps him in the head with it and knocks him over the top rope! Chris Avery is enraged! The crowd pops for Jackson whose pissed off but now has to go to the back!
Zach Davis: You would think Reaper and Jackson are in this match just to ensure Avery has a plan for One! Now that plan may be backfiring!
Petrova starts slamming the ladder into everyone else knocking everyone down! Tank then stands out of the corner and kicks the ladder out of Petrovas hands and the ladder goes flying over the top rope! Officially the ladder has been eliminated! Petrova goes down and Wanderlust is up to his feet first and Tank big boots him over the top rope eliminating Wanderlust! Ryan Daniels yells out "YOU WERE A HORRIBLE CHARACTER!" The crowd yells back "QUIT SHOOTING!". Tank disapproves of Ryan Daniels antics, but Tank is almost blindsided by both Superfans when Tank ducks and then grabs both of them by the throat. He lifts them up and throws them over the top rope! They land on Wanderlust!
Zach Davis: TANK IS GOING CRAZY!
Ryan Daniels yells out "HE'S ALL HOPPED UP ON DRUGS, SEX AND BOOZE!" The crowd yells back "QUIT SHOOTING!" on cue. Tank turns around and grabs Lonnie the Lawnmower and throws the lawnmower over the top rope. Ryan Daniels goes to yell but Tank turns around and Daniels just shuts up. The crowd pops in a comedic way. Kash runs full speed and Tank backbody drops him over the top rope and Kash lands on the rest of the eliminated wrestlers! That's when Midget-Cairo comes rushing out of the corner and The Lone Wolf just runs and kicks him right in the head sending him into the air and over the top rope! The midget flies into the rest of them and the crowd pops big time!
Zach Davis: WHAT A KICK! WOW!
Petrova shoves The Lone Wolf into the ropes but Tank grabs Petrova and shoves her over the top rope and she's eliminated as well! Petrova is pissed and so is the crowd.. she gets back on the apron and turns her ass towards Tank whose standing in the ring. Petrova pulls up down her shorts and shows her thong! The crowd pops and Tanks eyes get big! Lone Wolf shoves Tank forward which shoves Petrova off the apron and Tank over the top rope and he's eliminated! Ryan Daniels yells out "TANK ALWAYS FALLS FOR SLUTS!" and the crowd yells back "QUIT SHOOTING!" and Lone Wolf lifts up Daniels on his shoulders and flips him out of the ring eliminating Daniels and officially becoming the winner!
Zach Davis: The Lone Wolf wins!
Chris Avery is pissed and slams the microphone down on the stage! The crowd reacts to Lone Wolf winning the Battle Royal!
Zach Davis: Lone Wolf gets his shot at One against Chris Avery for the Television Championship! OH Wait! Look out!
Avery slides into the ring and takes off his Television Championship title and runs towards Lone Wolf trying to take his head off, but Lone Wolf ducks down and Avery misses and hits the ropes, when he returns, Wolf hits a thunderous spinebuster! Avery quickly rolls out of the ring and Lone Wolf picks up the Television Championship.
Zach Davis: Avery tried striking first but Lone Wolf is a step ahead!
Avery is pissed off even more and Lone Wolf taunts with the title belt in his hands before throwing it at Avery.
Zach Davis: Has Chris Avery finally met his match!?
Bobby Cairo returns to the announce table.
Bobby Cairo: What'd I miss?
Zach Davis: Well, there was a midget dressed as you, and Lonnie the Lawnmower made its triumphant return.
Bobby Cairo: ...what.
Zach Davis: Tonight on Slam..
Crawl by Kings of Leon hits and the crowd goes into instant-boos.
Zach Davis: Never mind...
Torture walks onto the stage from the curtain and stands on the stage soaking in their boos. He then walks slowly down the ramp never taking his mind of the last few weeks and steps into the ring. Torture grabs a microphone as the lights all darken and a spotlight hits Torture right in the middle of the ring.
Torture: We now stand united and the last few weeks, I promise you, will never happen again.
The crowd boo's as Zach says "Who cares? We don't!"
Torture: We are now stronger and we're getting back to our task at hand and that is completely taking over Wrestling Championship Federation, and completing our mission for the bigger picture. You are all witnesses to the truest Torture you've ever seen. Go ahead, boo, I don't give a rats ass what you think! Just know this, in a months time, Wrestling Championship Federation will be upside down and you will all remember that I told you so.
Crowd boo's again.
Torture: And as for last weeks little attack from Brad Kane.. psh. I know what you're trying to do, and you've asked me for a match at One again, and again, I will tell you ... No. I will not fight your jobber ass at One. Move on, and forget about a match with me..
Torture lowers his microphone as "War Is My Destiny" begins to blare through the air waves. The members of the crowd all stand up cheering Brad Kane. Torture turns towards the ramp and begins talking trash as if he wasn't done. Kane walks down to the ring, stopping at ringside to get a microphone. Brad then slides into the ring with a grin on his face. Music fades off while Kane thinks of what to say to his arch rival.
Brad Kane: Oh Torture, just when I thought you couldn't be any less of a man you go and do something like this. I mean I always had you pegged for a giant pussy but this is twice you've refused this now. Twice you've had the chance to grant me my sweet revenge but like the coward that you are, you've backed away.
He pauses for nothing more then dramatic effect. Brad keeps his eyes on Torture only stopping to blink.
Brad Kane: Because you see Torture, I had this figured out. I knew you'd say no again. You'll keep saying no because you think you have nothing to prove by getting into a match with me again. You think there's nothing left for Torture to do against Brad Kane. You stole from me, tried to kill my wife and robbed me of my pride. In your mind, it's all over, you've won the war without it ever starting.
Torture nods his head while Brad shakes his.
Brad Kane: Then you're completely wrong. While you have those valid points, I have my own. My first point is this. I won the WCF World Title before you did. I had to beat Logan and your boy CD to win the title. You had to beat JJ Biggs. And after you beat JJ Biggs, who came down to ruin your big moment? I did. I busted you up and left you for dead. I left you in a pool of your blood on the biggest night of your life. I humiliated you, Torture. King of the world to my bitch in the span of five seconds. Are you telling me you don't want to get back to me on that?
Another pause for effect while Brad keeps circling around Torture like a vulture. Tortures eyes keep rolling around as if he's thinking of fifty different ways of hurting Brad at this point..
Brad Kane: Then how about this. Remember the time when I pinned you in the middle of the ring. There was a bell, there was a ref and there was me pinning you in your ring, for your title. You got that back because of some shady ass shit. But that loss, that loss to me has to be burning in your soul. Are you tell me that you don't want a measure of revenge for me beating you? I know you Torture, I know your ego. You keep yourself up at night thinking about it. Thinking about the night Brad Kane beat you and you had to resort to hitting my wife with a chair and bitching to management to get that title back. Only keeps proving my point of you being a giant pussy.
Kane inhales before continuing on, trying to provoke Torture into the match at One.
Brad Kane: Oh and then there's this little thing. Guess who made it into the Hall of Fame? Guess who it was Torture. He's standing right next to you. Yeah, all your title wins, normal wins and whatever else you've done fails to compare with what I've done. I got into the hall of fame. I got the World Title first. I ruined your biggest moment and yet you've continually shot me down. Hell, I've done more in my entire professional wrestling career here in WCF and out of WCF then you could ever dream of...
Brad stops and gets right into the face of Torture.
Brad Kane: Now the real kicker of this whole thing is Torture is that we both started in WCF around the same time. Yet I accomplished so many things before you did. I did what you couldn't do. I became the man of this place when you were still just a gleam fighting off whoever the hell you wanted to have in front of you to boost your own ego.
Torture looks down as Brad keeps getting further into his face.
Brad Kane: When this promotion dies, when we die, Torture, you know what people are going to think? They'll think what I've been saying all along. Torture is nothing compared to Brad Kane. You are shit on my boots. You're nothing while I have everything. I have the family, I got the World Title first and I was in the first Hall of Fame class. What do you have Torture?
Another pause and inhale from Kane as he looks to finish this off.
Brad Kane: All you have is a ticket to sit behind me in the pages of WCF history.
Kane backs away from Torture. In fact Brad rolls out of the ring completely, turning his back to the ring and Torture, all while keeping on taunting his nemesis.
Brad Kane: That's right Torture. Looks like the best of the best is Brad Kane and Torture fails in comparison..
Torture brings his head up along with his microphone.
Brad snaps his body back around with a smile on his face. The crowd cheers in anticipation..
Torture: YOU WANT A MATCH AT ONE? YOU GOT IT!
Brad Kane: I knew you'd see things my way.
Kane keeps walking towards the backstage while Torture stands in the ring seething with anger as War Is My Destiny plays through out the speakers..
Zach Davis: WOW! BRAD KANE VS TORTURE AT ONE?! OH MAN! WE GOTTA TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK!
Bobby Cairo: Holy cow! Brad baited Torture into accepting! Its on for One! I hope Brad Kane tears Torture a new set of whatever genitalia he or she has!
Zach Davis: What? Erm anyway Torture is walking right into where Brad Kane wants him!
Paul Dangerous vs Troy Malenko
Zach Davis: Next up we have what could turn out to be one heck of a match up, as Paul Dangerous is set to go one on one with Troy Malenko.
Bobby Cairo: Dangerous of course is the #1 contender for the United States title held by D-Day, however last week he may have lost some momentum after being pinned by Johnny Reb. We'll have to see if he can get back on track tonight.
Zach Davis: Well he has a tough opponent on his plate in Troy Malenko. Malenko was involved in that #1 contenders match at Helloween that Dangerous won, so you have to believe that he's looking to avenge his loss.
Bobby Cairo: But Troy may have other things on his mind tonight as he's been named the prime suspect in the attack of Shannan Lerch by WCF Owner Seth Lerch.
Zach Davis: That may very well be Bobby, we'll have to see what happens. Let's take it to Kyle Steel in the ring.
Kyle Steel: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first...
The opening lyric of "Danger on the Track" hits the pa system as Paul Dangerous comes out onto the stage through a massive billow of smoke, choking from the excess of smoke.
Kyle Steel: From Sheffield, England, weighing in at 241 pounds....Paul Daaaaaaaaaangeroussss.
Dangerous makes his way down the ramp and goes to slap the fan's hands but then remembers the likelihood of catching diseases from them so he pulls back at the last second. He then drags himself up the ring steps and finally enters the ring where he lets out his signature scream of "I...AM...DANGEROUS!".
Kyle Steel: And introducing his opponent...
“Remember the Name” by Fort Minor hits the speakers and out walks Troy Malenko who stops at the top of the ramp. At certain points in the beginning of the song, fireworks shoot from the ramp all the way across simultaneously. When the first set goes off, he throws his arms back in a cocky manner, knocking the robe off of his body. When the second set of fireworks hits, he starts walking down the ramp, his manager Gravedigger following behind him.
Kyle Steel: From Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, weighing in at 233 pounds.....Troy Maaaaalenko.
Troy walks up the ring steps and sits on the rope as Gravedigger climbs the stairs behind him and climbs into the ring. Troy bounces off the middle rope and walks to each side of the ring, riling the crowd up. He finally stands in a corner with Gravedigger, waiting.
Gravedigger exits the ring as Referee Stanley Moser does a quick pat down of both participants for weapons and then signals for the bell .
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Zach Davis: And there's the bell and this match is officially underway.
Malenko and Dangerous both come out of their respective corners and slowly circle the ring, sizing one another up. Both move in at the same time and lock up in the center of the ring as they fight for control.
Bobby Cairo: This is actually a pretty even match up, as Dangerous only has a slight size advantage over Malenko. 2 inches to be exact.
Zach Davis: Size doesn't always matter Bobby.
Bobby Cairo: Something I'm sure you know all too well.
Dangerous is able to work his way out of the initial tie up and get behind Malenko before putting him in a rear grapple. Dangerous goes for a german suplex but Malenko blocks it with his foot and hits him with an elbow before spinning around and putting him in a rear grapple. Malenko tries to lift him up for a back suplex but this time it's Dangerous that catches Malenko with an elbow. Malenko releases the hold and backs off holding his face as Dangerous runs and hits him with a european uppercut. Malenko falls to the mat and Dangerous is on top of him right away for the pin attempt.
Stanley Moser: ONE...
Zach Davis: And Malenko quickly gets his shoulder up. Wow what an early upset that would have been.
Bobby Cairo: Upset? Are you mad? Zach we're talking about the #1 Contender for the US Title, not some guy off the street.
Malenko quickly gets back to his feet and he and Dangerous once again lock back up. Malenko doing everything he can to gain control but Dangerous again gets the better of him as he places Malenko in a side headlock. Dangerous tightens up his grip on Malenko as the crowd slowly gets behind him.
Zach Davis: Well I guess the crowd has to cheer for somebody, and it's obvious they won't cheer for anyone associated with Gravedigger.
Malenko tries fighting out of the headlock to no avail as Dangerous continues to apply pressure. Malenko then backs them up into the ropes and bounces off trying to push Dangerous off but Dangerous counters it into a running bulldog. Dangerous again goes for the pinfall.
Stanley Moser: ONE...
Zach Davis: And Malenko again gets the shoulder up as Gravedigger does not look too happy about Troy's performance thus far.
Dangerous is the first to his feet and he goes to pull Malenko up...only to get a finger to the eye. He yelps in pain and backs up stumbling as referee Stanley Moser checks on him. Malenko gets up to his feet and waits....and then snaps off the Light's Out superkick right to the jaw of Dangerous. Dangerous hits the mat and Malenko is right on him for the pinfall.
Stanley Moser: ONE...
Bobby Cairo: And Dangerous kicks out!
The crowd explodes as a furious Gravedigger pounds on the ring apron. Malenko rolls off of Dangerous and sits up, a bewildered look on his face. Malenko gets back up to his feet and waits as Dangerous slowly gets back up. Dangerous turns around and Malenko kicks him in the gut before going to lift him up to his shoulders.
Zach Davis: This could be that reverse death valley driver we've seen him using. A bit of a tribute to Gravedigger.
Malenko gets him up in the air...but Dangerous counters before Malenko can hit it. Dangerous drops to his feet behind Malenko. Malenko turns around..and Dangerous nails him with another big european uppercut that sends him staggering. Dangerous then grabs Malenko by the arm and whips him into the corner where Malenko falls to the mat out of exhaustion. Dangerous sees him and then runs right at him looking to hit The Danger Zone....but Malenko rolls out of the way just in time to avoid the kick as Dangerous crashes into the corner. Malenko gets up and drags Dangerous away from the ropes and then goes for the pinfall.
Stanley Moser: ONE....
Bobby Cairo: And Dangerous gets his shoulder up!
Malenko rolls off of Dangerous and both men are on the mat exhausted.
Zach Davis: Wow, what is it going to take for one of these guys to put the other down for the three count?
And here comes Seth Lerch, and he has a steel chair. And he's livid.
Bobby Cairo: UH OH! Here comes Seth! That rascal! That rapscallion!
Seth narrowly avoids Gravedigger, having come in from the crowd. Malenko is up and sees him coming, however, and rolls out of the ring, not wanting any piece of Seth Lerch for some reason.
Zach Davis: Eh, he's not the biggest guy in the world, but he's PISSED. And he has a chair. I don't blame Malenko for not wanting to fight him tonight...
Malenko slides out of the ring and without thinking, taken by surprise, starts backing up the ramp. Seth keeps chasing him, and soon Malenko and Seth have both disappeared to the back. Gravedigger is as surprised as anyone, and he quickly chases after them.
Bobby Cairo: Um.. I'm pretty sure we have a match going on..
The ref has been counting Malenko since he exited the ring... and as Dangerous stands, slowly... the ref reaches ten!
Zach Davis: Troy Malenko has been counted out! Paul Dangerous wins it!
Bobby Cairo: Now THAT is a dangeroussssssss way to win a match!
The ref raises Dangerous' hand, and Dangerous acts like he's won the lottery. He grabs his Tag Title and exits the ring, happy as can be.
Zach Davis: What an interesting individual.
Johnny Reb/Brad Kane vs Creeping Death/Jay Price vs Logan/D-Day
Bobby Cairo: Now for my kind of match! A huge clusterfuck!
Zach Davis: How did you avoid getting bleeped there?
Bobby Cairo: I have connections.
Zach Davis: Really? F*** your connections! Oh G** d***it.
Bobby Cairo: Sorry, Zach, no swearing for you.
Zach Davis: That's ****, I ****** don't think **** I need ** swear *** that much anyway. Hey **** why are they bleeping my regular words now?
Bobby Cairo: I arranged to have my connections with the censors fuck with you for a moment. I'm a powerful man, Zach Davis.
The house lights dim, and the intro to Lynnyrd Skynnyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" hits the speakers. Hushed anticipation falls over the crowd as a spotlight illuminates the stage. Johnny Reb steps out from behind the curtain, his title belt draped over his shoulder, Don Jesus Luis de Guadalupe at his side. A cheer goes up from the audience at their appearance. As the two men walk down the ramp, a cascade of sparks rains down on the stage. The Inveterate Confederate circles the ring, slapping hands with the fans at ringside. Johnny eschews the steps completely; he leaps onto the ring apron and climbs the turnbuckles, perching there with his tag belt held high overhead.
"Cuz the pain that they're gonna feel after I'm done with you is gonna feed me. And give me, give me that oh so elusive happiness. I can't wait to see them cry. I can't wait to see you shiver. I can't wait for you to be droolin' out your mouth not knowin' where you are. You can call me sick but the world is cold... bundle up!"
The opening to "War Is My Destiny" by Ill Bill feat. Immortal Technique flares up, the lights dimming down. Everyone can see a shadow standing in the entry way. Standing in the middle of the entry way is Brad Kane with Megan right behind him. The crowd begins to give him a huge ovation as he stays in the entry way for another few moments, letting all the suspense build. He begins to move his head, looking out into the thousands of fans that are in attendance tonight. More moment follows as he takes a few steps and throws his right arm out into the air, letting out a war cry before walking towards the ring. Many of the fans extend their hands out, looking for some form of contact. Brad slaps their hands as does Megan. When he reaches ringside, he walks completely around the outside of the ring, high fiving more fans. Once he's done walking around ringside, he heads up one set of the stairs and gets onto the apron while Megan follows him in. Brad Kane enters the ring through the middle rope as he heads to the nearest turnbuckle, going to the top. He looks out into the crowd, seeing the cheering fans taking pictures. Brad leaps off and heads to the other side of the ring and proceeds to do the same thing as more pictures are snapped. Jumping back off, he then backs into that corner, leaning against the ropes as Megan gives him a kiss for good luck. As she leaves the ring, he waits while his music fades off.
Bobby Cairo: And here is Team GWC.
Zach Davis: Earlier tonight Johnny Reb chose Paul Dangerous as his official tag team partner.
The lights in the venue suddenly cut to black as the familiar opening to "For Whom the Bell Tolls" plays. The crowd is jacked up and gets louder after every toll. After six tolls, there is silence. Then, the intro for "Blood and a Siren" by Index Case plays. After the little guitar intro, when the song gets intense, a spotlight hits the curtain and Creeping Death emerges, wearing a black hoodie with the hood up. He headbangs with the crowd as they throw up the devil horns, and he does the same back to them on his way to the ring. CD enters the ring by sliding in through the bottom rope. Inside, he walks to the far corner, leaps up and takes a seat on the top rope, awaiting the match to begin.
All of the main lights in the arena go out as a series of red lights light up the stage, ramp and the ring. "4 Words To Choke Upon" by BFMV hits the speakers, and while it's loud enough to deafen the people even in the cheap seats, it can barely be heard over the massive booing coming from the crowd as Jay Price makes his way out onto the stage from the back, his head and most of his face hidden under the hood of a black sweatjacket. He pauses and makes sure to point out the Elite Title draped over his right shoulder...and then the People's Title draped over his left shoulder...before unzipping his black sweatjacket to reveal the still slightly burned and blackened original World Title belt, which only incites louder booing. He then makes his way down the ramp, taking his sweet time as usual as he mockingly attempts to slap a few children's hands before pulling his hand back at the last moment. He finally reaches the ring steps and climbs them, makes his way through the ropes, and then climbs up the nearest corner to the second turnbuckle. He extends both arms out to the side, raises his middle finger on both hands to the crowd and then brings his hands together in front of him. He then hops out of the corner and hands off all three titles to the referee, who nearly collapses from the massive weight, and throws his sweatjacket out into the crowd before beginning to stretch out before the match starts.
Bobby Cairo: And here is This_Is_Nexus. Erm, the the New War Order. Erm I mean...
Zach Davis: Haha. I get jokes.
The beginning drum intro of "The Struggle Within" by Metallica plays loudly and rumbles the speakers. Fans all too familiar to the theme for this certain superstar cover their ears to shield them from the extremely loud drum roll. After the climax of the epic drum intro the song breaks into rhythm and Logan appears at the top of the ramp to stand in place. He looks totally furious yet determined, narrowing his eyebrows and clamping his lips tight and taking deep breaths in through his nose while looking around at the screaming excited audience. Despite the maddening expression, something about his presence gives off the idea that he's happy to be there. And so, Logan makes his descend down the ramp. He hits ringside and slides in underneath the bottom rope with a quickness. Logan climbs the nearest turnbuckle and fixates glaring eyes on the booing crowd, then, both his arms slowly raise lifting the WCF World Heavyweight Championship above his head. The passion in his eyes refuses to die as he drops his arms back down to his sides and hops off the turnbuckle. "The Struggle Within" fades out leaving Logan to pace the ring.
Anthem of the Underdog by 12 Stones plays in the speakers. The lights are dim.The lights flash on to D-Day walking out to the top of the ramp with his belt and falls on his knees and throws his arms in the air, as soon as he throws them in the air fire works go off and surround him. The screen shows all of D-Day moments of his dead and forgotten special move. As also the screen shows a ring then the words in white and in cursive, the words D-Day. When D-Day get in the ring he raises his hands to his name on the screen and followed by all of the titles he has held in the WCF.
Bobby Cairo: And lastly, the WWOORRLLDD CCHHAAMPPIOONN himself, Logan! And a young up and comer, D-Day. I like his moxy.
The bell rings.
Zach Davis: Here we go!
Cairo's earlier call of "clusterfuck" proves to be correct. Without regards to the rules of the matchup, Logan and Price just begin brawling, going at each other with everything they have.
Bobby Cairo: So much hatred between these two brothers...
Reb is on the apron as Kane is taking it to Creeping Death, hitting him with a variety of kicks!
Zach Davis: Earlier tonight we found out that Kane would be facing Torture at One... what an epic matchup...
D-Day is waiting on the apron as well. He throws CD to the ropes and hits a huge Exploder Suplex as he's coming back!
Bobby Cairo: Brad Kane taking it to one of the major members of the War Horsemen.. take note, Torture.
Logan and Price have spilled to the outside. They're hitting each other with lefts and rights. Price slams Logan's face into the guardrail, and then irish whips him into the ring steps! Logan stumbles forward, clutching his back, and Price then executes a stiff Snap Suplex!
Zach Davis: Oof!
CD is up, and Kane runs at him and Clotheslines him over the top rope, sending both men flying to the outside!
Bobby Cairo: So much brawling.. the ring can't contain this matchup!
And the ref is pretty much powerless to do anything. He looks around and sighs. With both of their teammates outside brawling, Reb and D-Day both get into the match. They tie up and Reb sends D-Day to the ropes, hitting him with an Arm Drag. D-Day gets up and Reb follows up with a Facebreaker DDT!
Zach Davis: Beautiful!
Reb jumps to the top and quickly hits a Corkscrew Shooting Star Legdrop onto D-Day! He then pins him.
No! D-Day gets his foot on the ropes!
Bobby Cairo: You and Shannan have said it before, but it deserves repeating. This kids got heart!
Reb stands up and picks D-Day up with him. Reb sends D-Day to the ropes and then kicks him in the gut, and follows up with a Snapmare.. into a Dragon Sleeper!
Zach Davis: Sweet Water Sleeper! This could be it!
D-Day struggles, trying to get out of the move... but he can't seem to do it....
Bobby Cairo: Come on, D-Day! Don't give up!
But someone breaks up the pin!
Zach Davis: Where'd he come from?
The World Champ is back in the ring! Bleeding, he broke up the pin by kicking Reb.
Bobby Cairo: He's left Price outside the ring, is he knocked unconscious? And where the hell are Brad Kane and Creeping Death?
Zach Davis: I think they ended up brawling through the crowd or some such. Or went to a Slipknot concert, I don't know, goddamn Iowans.
Bobby Cairo: I don't think Brad Kane is from Iowa, Zach. I'm pretty sure he was born in Ireland.
Zach Davis: Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. Anyway, Logan just kicked Reb, breaking up her submission!
Bobby Cairo: ITS A SHOOT!
Logan picks Reb up and throws him to the ropes. He wants to win this match. He goes to wrap him in a Sleeper, but he avoids it. Reb then ducks a Clothesline attempt of Logan's and rolls him up in a Small Package.
Zach Davis: WHAT!?
Bobby Cairo: JOHNNY REB JUST PINNED THE WORLD CHAMP! LOGAN FALLS VICTIM TO A SMALL PACKAGE!
Zach Davis: I wonder if Jay Price has a Small Package for Logan? If he does, Logan just might be going down at One!
Bobby Cairo: I hear Jay Price is the master of Small Packages! And Logan is no stranger to going down!
Zach Davis: Fans, we're in Tijuana, Bobby and I are drunk, I'm pretty sure.
Bobby Cairo: Speak for yourself, Zach.
Reb stands up, shocked at his upset victory over the World Champ. He rolls out of the ring, grabbing his Tag Title as he goes, smiling broadly.
Zach Davis: Johnny Reb's stock has just risen!
Bobby Cairo: Fans, Slam is over! Shannan Lerch will probably be back next week so see you whenever she or Zach gets assaulted again!
Zach Davis: Hey, wait a minute...
Seth Lerch/Troy Malenko Confrontation
We cut to backstage, where Seth has been chasing Troy and Gravedigger.
Seth Lerch: Troy Malenko!! You son of a bitch, I know that was you who attacked Shannan backstage.
The crowd boos as Troy looks at Gravedigger and mockingly points to himself as if asking "me??"
Seth Lerch: Stop running! Face me now!
Troy and Gravedigger start talking to each other and finally Gravedigger turns to Seth and shakes his head no. Seth is pissed.
Seth Lerch: Oh ok, you don't want to fight tonight then....how about this. You want me to put you in the match at One for the US title?
Troy nods his head yes.
Seth Lerch: Ok, then I'll do it.
The crowd starts booing. Seth holds a hand up with a "wait, there's more" look on his face.
Seth Lerch: I will put you in that match under ONE CONDITION. You face me next week on Slam.... IN A STREET FIGHT.
The crowd goes crazy as Gravedigger and Troy start talking to each other for a few seconds. Troy nods his head and then spits on the ground in front of him. He smiles and waves at Seth as he and Gravedigger head back to the lockerroom. The camera zooms in on a determined, angry looking Seth Lerch as Slam fades out.