Monday Night Slam Intro

The WCF logo appears and fireworks explode from the ramp and above the ring, we then cut to the announcers as the sold out crowd cheer their asses off.

Zach Davis: Welcome fans once again to Monday Night Slam and we are Live from the Chaifetz Arena here in St. Louis!

Bobby Cairo: And tonight we're getting right down to the action, Tank Reaper and Ethan Frost are already in the ring!

Zach Davis: Tank and Frost will be participating in a Over The Top Rope Battle Royal! You get eliminated and your fired!

Lose And Your Fired Battle Royal
Ethan Frost vs Dante Reigns vs Wyatt Nolan vs Tank Reaper vs Ace Watson

Tank and Frost look at each other as Dante Reigns music hits. He comes down the ramp and into the ring. Wyatt Nolan's music hits and he comes to the ring and followed by Ace Watson.

Zach Davis: There's the bell!

Tank big boots Ace Watson over the top rope!

Bobby Cairo: Ace Watson is fired from WCF!

Refs grab Ace whose pissed and whose holding his face and is being helped to the back. Nolan hits a DDT on Frost while Tank chokeslams Reigns to the mat! Tank picks him up again by the neck and chokeslams him a second time! Tank does this a third and fourth time before yelling out and the crowd booing as he does it a fifth time except Tank chokeslams Reigns over the top rope to the mats below! The crowd gasps at the stiff spot!

Zach Davis: And Dante Reigns is fired!

Bobby Cairo: Wow!

Nolan picks up Frost and throws him over the top rope.

Zach Davis: Frost is gone now too!

Bobby Cairo: Ethan Frost was nothing special in my eyes!

Zach Davis: Wow..

Bobby Cairo: Well the truth hurts!

Tank and Nolan go to tie up when..

BBBBUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Mark Markman shows up on the jumbotron and the crowd goes crazy. He talks into the camera directly pointing at him while he's making a sandwich in his kitchen.

Mark Markman: Very nice work guys, you see, I didn't make this match to see who would get fired.. I made this match to see who would be the next big star that I can push from the bottom to the top! Now I know who has heart and guts.. and Tank is just a big mammoth with muscles everywhere.. places I don't even know how you get muscles, but I regress. Point is this.. next week on Slam Wyatt Nolan takes on Tank Reaper in a one on one match!

Tank and Nolan smile at each other and leave the ring. The officials leave the ring as well.

Mark Markman: Also wanted to add a stipulation to tonights main event. In our Four Way Number One Contender Match there will be.. and I mean this, THERE WILL BE NOOOOOOO... INTERFERENCE... or You will be fired from WCF!

Crowd pops. This is War smarks boo. Jumbotron shuts off and we cut back to Zach Davis and Bobby Cairo.

Monday Night Slam Opening... remix.

Zach Davis: Wow! What a stipulation that is going into tonights main event!

Bobby Cairo: Oblivion verse Jay Williams verse Jay Price verse Doc Henry! And no one can interfere on their behalf or their fired!

Zach Davis: Well, it's going to be as fair as fair can be!

Bobby Cairo: We have an incredible Hardcore Championship match taking place, Kash takes on Roberts, Day takes on Royal, and of course our big main event tonight on top of that!

Zach Davis: And we heard rumors that Torture isn't hear tonight but will address D-Day later tonight via satelitte..

Bobby Cairo: A Slam without Torture is a great Slam.

Zach Davis: I hear ya, A returning Adam Young is here tonight as well.. such a big Slam and we're TWO weeks away from Timebomb!


Hardcore Championship
John Thomas vs Greenfever(c)

The Lights cut out in the arena then the opening chords of “Country Boy Can Survive” blast through the arena as a Rebel Flag lights up the Tron

The preacher man says its the end of time
and the Mississippi River she's a going dry.
The interest is up and the stock markets down
and you only get mugged if you go downtown.

I live back in the woods you see,
my woman,and the kids and the dogs and me.
I got a shotgun and a rifle and a four wheel drive
and a country boy can survive. Country folks can survive.

John Thomas walks out of the ramp wearing a pair of blue jeans, a black tank top, and his black cowboy hat pulled down around his eyes , and with a rebel flag bandana covering his face, along with Vanessa Lee by his side, and his arm around her waist.

I can plow a field all day long,
I can catch catfish from dusk til dawn.
Make our own whiskey and our own smoke too
aint to many things these boys can't do.
We grow good old tomatoes and homemade wine
and country boy can survive, country folk can survive.

Because you can't stomp us out and you can't make us run,
cause we're them ole boys raised on shotguns.
We say grace and we say mam
and if you aint into that we don't give a damn.

John and Vanessa walk halfway down the ramp and stop to share a pasionate kiss.

We came from the West Virginia coal mine's
and the Rocky Mountains and the Western skies
and we can skin a buck, we can run a trout line
and a countryboy can survive, country folks can survive.

John continues to walk down the ring and slides into the ring then holds down the middle rope for Vanessa to climb into the ring.

The lights drop as "Run Rabbit Run" by Rob Zombie begins over the P.A. system. "Huntin' Humans? Ain't nuthin but nuthin'.They all run like scared little rabbits.Run rabbit run. RUN RABBIT RUN!" The aggressive drums kick in and Greenfever emerges from the darkness. His face and hands are smeared with blood. The crowd is incited into a screaming mob. The audience begins to throwing garbage down at him as he makes his way to the ring.

The bell rings and the two men do NOT fuck around. Blow after blow delivered after they meet each other in the middle of the ring. Clubs and haymakers, and the crowd is eating it all up. Thomas gets the upper hand, and tosses Greenfever to the turnbuckle, where he hits a running shoulder block! Greenfever compresses and stumbles out into a big superkick, launching him to the apron. There, Thomas hits a clubbing shot and locks in a suplex.

Zach Davis: Fast and furious action to start!

John gets his suplex blocked, and Greenfever tries one! But no, Thomas lands on the apron. A chop battle begins as both men loom over the floor. A quick eye rake later and Greenfever has the advantage ... and drops John Thomas off the apron with a big reverse DDT to the floor! A pin!

1..

2..

John Thomas manages to get the shoulder up!

Bobby Cairo: Expert hardcore wrestling requires the will of a lion.

Greenfever reaches under the ring and snags a random ass sheet of plywood and breaks it over John Thomas' body as he tries to get up! Thomas somehow shakes it off and fires a punch directly into Greenfever's throat! Fever bends over coughing, trying to get his wind, all the while giving Thomas ample time to recover. And he does. And he does so by grabbing a ladder from under the ring.

Zach Davis: This is ... really violent.

Thomas leans the ladder on the barricade and makes Greenfever hate his life a lot more with a suplex onto the ladder! Greenfever may as well have taken his ribcage out and stomped all over it. Thomas quickly turns and hits a shining wizard to Greenfever as he hands upside down on the ladder! Thomas shows off to the crowd.

Bobby Cairo: Bad move...

Sure was. Greenfever rolls back and latches on The Move You Fear! Thomas instantly drops to his knees and Greenfever pulls himself up the ladder, adding more pressure!

Zach Davis: He's almost out!

Seemingly as soon as Thomas was about to pass out, Vanessa runs to his aid and scratches Greenfever, causing him to release the hold.. for about a second. Red Bile Mist to Vanessa, locking back on The Move You Fear ... and Thomas has passed out!

Zach Davis: John Thomas was defeated by Greenfever!

Bobby Cairo: Is it me, or is John Thomas just a freak of nature?! Sure, he loses tonight, but he's a god damn force to be reckoned with!

Zach Davis: If it wasn't for Greenfever, I think we'd be looking at one of the toughest Hardcore Champions on the planet!

WCF's DID YOU KNOW SEGMENT



Roy Speede/Alex Haden vs Shaun Jackson/Chris Avery

Kyle Steel: The following is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall! First to the ring, weighing in at 295 pounds… From Los Angeles, California…. SHAUN JACKSON!!

"Psychosocial" by Slipknot hits the speakers as Shaun Jackson comes out to major heat from the crowd. He makes his way down to the ring and then climbs up the ring steps before entering the ring. He then tosses the t-shirt and skull cap into the crowd as his music fades out.

Kyle Steel: And his partner, weighing in at 225 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois…. CHRIS AVERY!!!

The lights flicker on and off and Fabolous' Lights Out plays over the speakers to a loud chorus of boo's. Chris Avery walks directly from behind the curtain and to the ramp. He looks out at the crowd to the left and then to the right and then throws his arms into the air while a display of fireworks explode behind him in yellow color. Avery looks out at the crowd in disgust as he walks down the ramp and rolls into the ring. He stands up on the middle rope and 'flenches' at the crowd as if he's going to beat all of their ass. The vicious Truth turns his focus onto his opponent as his song fades out.

‘Savior’ by Skillet begins to play through the speakers as Roy Speede steps out on stage. He crosses his arms in an X across his chest, with his right arm underneath his left, and his hands in his fists. He bows his head for several seconds, and his chin rests in the gap between his fists.

Kyle Steel: Introducing, from Richmond, Virginia, Roy Speede!

Roy drops his right arm, and raises his left arm in the air, with his pointer, middle, and pinky fingers extended, and his ring finger and thumb tucked into his palm. His palm is facing the crowd. He drops his arm, and begins jogging to ringside, high-fiving fans as he goes, before climbing onto the apron, and then climbing the outside of the turnbuckle. He raises his left arm, with the same fingers extended as when he was on stage. He leaps from the turnbuckle into the ring.

'Most Wanted Mash-Up' by Paul Lindford and Chris Vrenna begins to play as Alex Haden steps out onto the stage. He does a standing backflip, and points to the ring with his left hand, wearing a wide grin.

Kyle Steel: On his way to the ring, weighing in at one hundred ninety pounds, from Detroit, Michigan, Alex Haden!

Haden high-fives fans as he walks to the ring, and once in the ring, climbs to the second rope at a turnbuckle, and leaps off, doing a backflip. As he lands, he does his point again, toward the crowd.

Zach Davis: An impressive entrance for newcomer Alex Haden in his debut match! If this is any indication of his in-ring skills, we’re looking forward to one entertaining competition here tonight!

Bobby Cairo: Well, he’s enthusiastic, I’ll give him that; but it looks like we’re going to have to wait. Roy Speede will be starting things off for his team, and I have to say, this guy gets more impressive every time I see him compete. After a slow start, Speede’s been picking up steam these past few weeks… But now he’s facing “The Truth” Chris Avery, a steadfast member of This Is War and a fine athlete in his own right. I don’t like Speede’s chances here…

The bell rings, and the match is underway. Avery gives Speede a cocky grin and beckons to him. Not one to leave a challenge unheeded, Speede launches himself at Avery; but The Truth is ready for him. Avery catches Speede and takes him down with a snap suplex.

Zach Davis: Ohh! Not a good start to this match for Roy Speede… they felt that one in the nosebleed section!

Avery covers, but Speede is back to his feet before the ref can even start the count. The two men tie up in a classic collar-and-elbow. For a brief moment, they’re evenly matched; then Speede’s knees start to buckle as Avery exerts his greater strength.

Bobby Cairo: This is a dangerous situation for Speede here. He’s at a tremendous size disadvantage –

Zach Davis: That’s what she said!

Bobby Cairo: I wouldn’t admit that if I were you. Anyway, as I was saying… Speede’s going to have to – oh! There we go! Roy Speede with a side Russian legsweep! Now it’s Avery on the mat, and Speede looking to capitalize with a sharpshooter…

Avery’s face contorts with pain as Speede locks on the submission hold, looking a little smug at having gotten the upper hand. It doesn’t last long. Avery pushes himself up with his arms and slowly begins to drag himself toward his corner, where Shaun Jackson waits, his hand outstretched, urging him on. Speede struggles to walk him back to the middle of the ring, focused on keeping his leverage, but to no avail. Avery slaps Jackson’s hand and collapses to the mat. Jackson gets in the ring and pulls Speede off his partner. The two of them shove Speede into the corner and start laying into him with lefts and rights. The referee is right there, counting: 1..2..3..4… The two back off slightly, and Avery exits the ring with a smirk.

Speede slumps against the turnbuckle, catching his breath. Jackson grabs him and lifts him overhead with relative ease, then slams him to the mat.

Zach Davis: Oh, damn! Jackson with a military press! What a brutal display of sheer power! Here comes another one!

For a second time, Speede is dropped flat on his back. Things don’t look good for him at all. Shaun Jackson picks him up, looking for a third, when Speede recovers his wits enough to fight back, pummeling his opponent with elbows and forearms until he forces Jackson to release him. Speede lands on his feet and takes a couple of paces back, edging away from his opponents’ corner. Jackson pursues him, and Speede nails him with a standing dropkick that sends Jackson to the ropes.

Bobby Cairo: It’s going to take more than that to stop a man like Shaun Jackson. Speede really needs to make a tag here…but no wrestler ever made a name for himself by playing it safe, and Roy Speede undoubtedly knows that.

Evidently, he does. Sensing his opportunity, Speede bends his knees in a crouch, watching Jackson, waiting for just the right moment…

Zach Davis: SPEAR! Spear from Roy Speede! He just sent Shaun Jackson out of the ring!

Bobby Cairo: And now’s the time for that much-needed tag to partner Alex Haden!

Haden is in the ring now, his gaze firmly locked on a recovering Shaun Jackson, motioning impatiently at him to get back in the ring.

Zach Davis: Alex Haden had some pretty strong words for Jackson and Avery this week, saying that he and his partner needed to exterminate them. Heh.. Exterminate. What is he, a Dalek?

Bobby Cairo: …I think you need to work on your pop culture references, there, Zach.

Zach Davis: I’m just trying to include our fans across the pond, Bobby…

By the time Jackson gets back into the ring, Alex Haden is ready for him. Haden rushes Jackson; Jackson just pushes him away. Undeterred, Haden lets his momentum carry him to the ropes. He steps up to the second rope and springboards off with a double knee facebuster, taking Shaun Jackson by surprise. Momentarily disoriented, he stumbles a few paces back… right to a waiting Chris Avery, who slaps him on the back.

Bobby Cairo: Blind tag from Avery, and he’s back in the game! Alex Haden dodges a hasty punch and returns a solid shot of his own. He wraps an arm around Avery’s neck and starts to climb… Haden on the top rope now… Tornado DDT!

Zach Davis: He calls that a Haden DDT, Bobby.

Bobby Cairo: Very good, Zach. You get a cookie. Alex Haden with the cover…

One…

Two…

Zach Davis: Oh, close! Kickout by Chris Avery! He should’ve known it was too soon for that.

Bobby Cairo: Strategy 101, Zach. He’s trying to wear down his opponent. You should know this by now; you’ve only been calling matches for ten years…

Haden goes after Avery again, but Avery counters. He grabs Haden like he’s setting him up for a piledriver, but instead of lifting him, he executes a front flip, sending Haden head over heels onto his head.

Zach Davis: There’s the Lie Detector! This could be over! Avery with the cover!

One…

Two…

THR – NO!

Bobby Cairo: A kickout with authority! Alex Haden isn’t finished yet!

Avery pounds the mat in frustration, certain he’d had it won. He starts to argue with the ref, giving Alex Haden precious seconds to recover – or so it seems. With the ref distracted, Shaun Jackson gets down off the ring apron and reaches underneath, while Haden starts climbing the ropes. The ref doesn’t see him creeping around the outside of the ring with a kendo stick, but Roy Speede does. Speede hops down and goes to meet him, and is rewarded with a glancing blow to the face. He shakes it off and goes after Jackson with a vengeance, the crowd cheering the brawl that has broken out at ringside. Chris Avery looks up just as Haden leaps off the top rope…and sidesteps out of the way. Haden finds nothing but empty mat beneath him.

Zach Davis: Oooh! Alex Haden gets a face full of canvas! And Avery with the cover again!

But the ref refuses to count. Avery shouts at him to get on with it. The ref shakes his head and points; Haden has his foot on the bottom rope. Annoyed, Avery hauls Haden to his feet again and sets him up for a DDT. Meanwhile, the action at ringside is still going strong, Speede and Jackson trading blows like madmen. Speede ducks a hard right and nails Jackson with a standing dropkick, sending him over the crowd barrier… just as Alex Haden wriggles out of Avery’s facelock. Haden hits the ropes and goes for a spinning roundhouse kick that puts Avery on the mat. He covers.

One…

Two…NO!

Bobby Cairo: Jackson breaks up the pin! He’s still got that kendo stick and he’s using it to beat the holy hell out of Alex Haden!

The ref has his hands full now, trying to eject Jackson from the ring. The big man just glowers at him and brandishes the kendo stick, backing him off. Avery grins wickedly as a thought occurs to him. He motions at Jackson to give him the weapon and hold Haden; catching on, a nasty smiles spreads across Jackson’s face as he complies. Avery winds up like a batter, pointing into the stands as if calling his shot. Speede has had enough of their antics and climbs into the ring, going to his partner’s defense. But just as Avery takes a powerful swing, Haden ducks, and the kendo stick smacks Jackson right in the head.

Zach Davis: F*bleep*ing A! Shaun Jackson finally gets what he deserves…from his own partner!

Avery looks a little shocked at this turn of events and drops the kendo stick. The inevitable chaos finally breaks out as all four men start fighting and the audience rises to their feet, cheering the combatants on! It takes several moments before the referee finally straightens things out, sending Jackson and Speede back to their respective corners. Haden and Avery circle each other, both worse for the wear and nearing exhaustion. Avery makes a grab for Haden; Haden reverses and locks on a facelock. He starts for the ropes, but Avery isn’t having any of it. He slips out of it and shoves Haden away from him. Haden tries again. Avery catches his wrist and slings Haden toward the ropes. Haden bounces off and ducks a clothesline attempt. He makes a dash for the opposing set of ropes, rebounds, and goes for a stiff clothesline of his own. His momentum carries both men to the canvas. Haden is back on his feet first, and goes for the ropes.

Bobby Cairo: Business is really picking up now! Alex Haden is making an impressive showing here tonight, but how long can he keep this up?

Haden gets airborne once again, but Avery’s back on his feet now. Avery catches Haden in midair and slams him hard to the canvas.

Zach Davis: About that long, Bobby… Haden might be quick, but strength and experience are going to win out in the long run.

Bobby Cairo: You might have a point for once, Zach. Haden’s in real trouble now. We all know just how vicious “The Truth” can be, and it doesn’t look like he’s in a very forgiving mood tonight.

Avery pulls Haden to his feet and drapes one of Haden’s arms over his neck.

Zach Davis: Uh-oh. Here it comes…

But somehow, miraculously, Alex Haden finds the wherewithal to force his way out of the hold. He glances at Avery, then to his own corner, where his partner is gesturing at him to tag him in. Another quick look at Avery, and Haden sprints for his corner, with Chris Avery hot on his heels. At the last second, he makes a desperate dive, and slaps Speede’s hand.

Bobby Cairo: Not just yet, Zach! Roy Speede is back in!

Chris Avery comes to an abrupt halt when the tag is made. Speede hurries through the ropes and practically launches himself at Avery hitting a HUGE jumping clothesline! Down goes Avery. Jackson gets to his feet and is clotheslined out of the ring! Avery stands up but Haden comes in and hits a fisherman suplex! Speede launches to the top rope and hits a shooting star frogsplash! Speede covers with Haden watching guard!

Zach Davis: One! Two! Three! Club Cool wins!

Bobby Cairo: Number one contenders, Zach! They're going to Timebomb!

Club Cool celebrates in the ring as Jackson and Avery look pissed off and upset.

Jason Kash vs Terry Roberts

"Swamped" by Lacuna Coil begins to play throughout the arena as Terry Roberts appears from the crowd, hopping over the guardrail, he walks to the ringsteps where he plays further psychological mindgames with opponents by blowing a huge fireball into the air (ala Gene Simmons, but using a specialized finger lighter ignitor and small capsules with flammables instead of kerosene) before entering the ring, slithering to the closest corner where he crouches like a predator waiting for the bell to pounce on his prey.

As the beat begins to thump throughout the entire arena, smoke begins to seep out of the stage. The fans get to their feet in mixed reaction as Jason Kash comes out from the back. He stops at the middle of the stage and leans forward, touching the steel path leading to the ring. He pulls up, takes two hits off his 2 Finger "Air Joint" twice and then throws his arms up above his head in celebration. He jumps up as the green flash fireworks shoot twice, one on each side of him. He lands on his feet and punches forward aggressively. He heads down the aisle way, eyes directly on the ring. He walks to the corner of the outside of the ring and jogs to the top of the steel steps. He walks along the ring apron and bounces on the middle rope entering the ring. Once again he hits his "Air Joint" twice and as his chest leans against the ropes he throws his arms up in the air once again. He stretches on the ropes before the match begins.

Bobby Cairo: This should be a good one!

Zach Davis: Both men should be tested here no doubt..I'm excited for this bout!!

The bell rings and Roberts rushes across the ring, crushing Kash with a clothesline that should have taken his head off. Kash folds onto his neck and shoulders as Terry Roberts grabs Kash and lifts him off the mat into a powerbomb position. Roberts slams down Kash with a driving shoulder breaker and Kash bounces off the knee of Terry Roberts. Roberts gets up and yells down at Kash after the heated words they shared over the week. Kash scoots himself away from Roberts, trying to get a safe distance to where he can get up but Roberts is on his ass quick. Roberts pulls Kash up by one arm and Kash blasts Roberts with his open fist. Kash connects with another and another before turning and heading to the ropes, he bounces off them and comes at Roberts who catches Kash in a spinning sidewalk slam. Roberts hooks the leg as the referee drops down and begins the count.

1...

Tw...Kickout!!

Roberts jumps up and stomps down on Kash's face. Kash grabs his face and rolls in pain. Roberts comes up close and soccer kicks Kash in the back. Kash grabs the bottom rope and pulls himself outside the ring. He has one hand on his back as Terry Roberts looks very confident in how the matches has taken place so far. Kash slaps his hands down on the mat and paces back and forth outside the ring. The referee begins the 10 count.

Zach Davis: Kash taking a few seconds to regroup, smart tactics!

Bobby Cairo: Kash is taking a few seconds to con Roberts into feeding his own ego, wants him at the height of his confidence! That's when people make mistakes...

Kash motions for Roberts to move back but Roberts isn't content with doing such a thing. Kash walks around the steel steps and ends up at the next side of the ring. Kash pretends to slide in the ring, Roberts hurries to stomp on him. Kash pulls out and nods his head knowing that Roberts isn't THAT stupid. Kash looks at the referee and shrugs his shoulder as to what he should do. Roberts feeling he has Kash in a bad situation begins laughing. The crowd though begin to react as a fan jumps the guardrailing. Roberts suddenly remembering about DangerTainment looks around to not get jumped from behind. Security deals with the fan, Kash even for a moment hoped they'd tase him. Roberts looking around breaks his focus and Kash slides into the corner of the ring. Terry Roberts rushes at Kash as Kash gets up into the corner, his back to the turnbuckle pads. Roberts comes in with a running body splash but Kash moves out of the way. Kash spins Roberts around and starts throwing right after right into Robert's jaw.

Terry Roberts pushes Kash away and Kash almost comes off his feet as he slides across the ring. Roberts outweighs Kash and his strength is no joke. Kash hurries to his feet as Terry Roberts stomps across the ring towards Kash. Kash quickly dropkicks Roberts in the knee as he approaches. Kash pulls the front of Robert's trunks and sends him through the middle rope and to the outside of the ring. Getting up, Jason Kash climbs outside the ropes and stands on the ring apron as Terry Roberts get to his feet. Kash being the smaller of the two but still not a tiny man decides to give some fireworks. As Roberts turns to see Kash up on the apron, he tries to rush Kash but Kash quickly leaps forward and scores with a blockbuster, grabbing Roberts head and flipping over head. Kash scrambles to his feet as Roberts grabs at his head. Kash grabs Terry Roberts and helps him up to his feet, Kash whips Roberts as hard as he can sending Roberts directly at the steel steps. Roberts hits hard against the steps, knee catching the steps and sending him slapping face down over the stairs to the other side.

Bobby Cairo: Told you Jason Kash has a plan, he might smoke weed but he comes prepared!


Zach Davis: Roberts is alot of power but one odd guy...Who knows what he has up his sleeve.

Kash leaps up onto the steel stairs and looks down at Terry Roberts on the ringside mats. Kash jumps off the stairs and lands with a sharp knee into the neck of Roberts. Kash puts his knee back onto Robert's neck and pushes down, almost like he's trying to snap his neck from behind. Roberts squirms and forces Kash to remove the knee and Kash gets up and takes a few steps back. He raises his arms in a "It's Good" motion, signaling that he wants to attempt a field goal and the fans get on their feet. Kash takes a deep breath and rushes towards Roberts but for a big man, Roberts is quick as he pushes himself up and donkey punches Kash right in the balls. The entire arena make that "Awwww" sound. Kash goes limp and falls over onto his side. Terry Roberts takes his time to get to his feet. Smiling at Kash's pain as the referee gets to 7 on the 10 count. Roberts rolls into the ring but comes right back out and helps Kash up to his feet. Roberts puts his shoulder into Kash's chest and runs his back into the guard railing hard. Kash arches back in pain as Roberts lets go and Kash falls to the mat. Roberts turns away from the crowd and pulls out something from his trunks. He puts it in his mouth and turns back towards Kash.

Zach Davis: What did he put in his mouth?

Bobby Cairo: Steroids? Oh wait, probably that mist shit he spits out at people...Kash doesn't like to be spit on, gonna make him angry!!

Zach Davis: Does anyone like to be spit on?

Bobby Cairo: Your mom but only in certain places...

Kash is pulled up onto his feet by Terry Roberts, Roberts slaps him across the face and then rolls his limp body into the ring. Kash flop rolls a few times and then lands on his back and his breathing is deep and hard. The pain going through his back right now, he could probably use a few joints. Roberts climbs the steel stairs and enters the ring. He walks over to Kash and stands above him. You can see he is prepping something in his mouth, his head pulls back in a spitting motion and Kash quickly reaches up and grip and pulls hard on Terry Robert's nuts. Roberts swallows and begins coughing, his mouth opens and black liquid drips from his lips.

Bobby Cairo: Ohh the black kind!! That's a bad kind of mist isn't it?

Zach Davis: It's used to severley blind his opponent for a long period of time...

Bobby Cairo: Remember the good old days when the common mist was used? One mist fits all...I wonder if it tastes good going down?

Zach Davis: I think it could cause problems, not sure. I don't indulge myself, you?

Bobby Cairo: Ehh...

Kash pushes himself up to his feet and quickly throws a knee to Robert's face. Grabbing Robert's head, Kash lifts him and spin DDTs Terry Roberts into the mat head first. Kash gets up again and walks over to the ropes, leaning his back against the ropes as he bounces off as Terry Roberts sits up. Kash comes full speed and cracks Roberts in the face with a Big Boot. Kash picks Roberts up off the ground, standing him on his feet. Kash runs behind him, heading at the ropes and springs off the ropes hard coming back at Roberts from behind. Kash jumps up, grabs Roberts head to drop him with a bulldog but Terry Roberts catches Kash and simply tosses Kash over the ropes to the outside. Roberts gets the crowd worked into the match by making them cheer. Kash moving slowly outside the ring begins to get up to his feet. He uses the ring apron to help him up. Kash and Roberts both lock eyes and Roberts comes to stomp on Kash's arm but Kash moves and grabs Robert's ankle. Roberts isn't gonna budge and be tripped but Kash is aware of that and pulls himself to Robert's ankle and Kash bites into Terry Robert's ankle skin.

Bobby Cairo: He's biting him? Okay...

Zach Davis: Whatever it takes, he wants the win not the award for best technical wrestler!!

Kash slides in the ring as Roberts pulls away from the bite. Kash gets in and is on his feet with quick elbows and big right hands to Robert's face. Roberts tries throwing his own punch but Kash ducks it and gives a few solid shots to Robert's kidney and liver areas on the body. Kash pushes Roberts back into the turnbuckle and comes up with a fast and strong uppercut that stuns Roberts. Kash doesn't waste time as he lifts up Roberts and sits him on the top turnbuckle. Kash hits Roberts again in the mouth in order to keep him sitting on the turnbuckle. Then Kash begins to climb up in front of Roberts on the turnbuckle. Kash drops a few punches before putting Robert's head under Kash's armpit. Kash puts his feet up against the top ropes and pulls Roberts off the turnbuckle and crushes his head with a yank style DDT off the top turnbuckle. Roberts plants almost straight up and down into the mat with the DDT and Kash rolls onto his stomach and crawls over to Robert's head and begins dropping repeated knees to the side of Robert's head.

Zach Davis: Wow!

Roberts then rolls Kash up into a pinfall. ONE! TWO! THR- Kash kicks out!

Bobby Cairo: Out of nowhere!

Roberts gets to his feet and Kash goes for a kick when Roberts blocks it then gives a kick and a DDT of his own to Kash! Roberts, rather than pinning, taunts to the crowd to shut the hell up and calls for his finishing move. Roberts picks up Kash but Kash out of nowhere hooks the leg, grabs his head and hits the Influenced! Kash keeps it pinned.

ONE! TWO! THREE!

Zach Davis: Kash picks up the win!

Bobby Cairo: But barely! My god, was Roberts close to winning!

Zach Davis: Hate him or love him, he was DAMN close to having Kash beat!

Kash rolls out of the ring to the pop of the crowd as Roberts gets to his feet disgusted by his own mistake. He kicks the ropes and the turnbuckle as the ref tries to calm him down. Roberts slides out of the ring and shoves Kyle Steel off of his chair and picks it up slamming it down on the announcers table.

Zach Davis: WHOA! THAT WAS TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT!


Roberts hits the chair on the steel steps then kicks them over. He threatens the chair at some crowd members and rolls into the ring hitting the chair on the mat and the turnbuckles. A few refs come into the ring to try to calm down Roberts. Terry strikes one ref over the head with the chair knocking him out cold!

Bobby Cairo: HEY! No need for that!

Roberts then kicks one ref, and hits a snap-DDT!

Zach Davis: OH COME ON.

Roberts then hits a kick to the midsection on a third ref and another snap-DDT! A fourth ref tries to get Roberts to calm down, and yes, he gets a kick and a snap-DDT! Roberts eyes lock on the refs carnage in the ring and he rolls out of the ring as the fans boo. Roberts walks up the ramp and flips off one of the crowd members and tells them to "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Zach Davis: Well that was just uncalled for! How disgusting!

Bobby Cairo: Let's go to a commercial and clean up the chaotic mess that Roberts just left.

Poseidon vs Adam Young

Zach Davis: Our next match is about to get underway.

WCF Senior referee Stanley Moser and ring announcer Kyle Steel is in the ring.

Bobby Cairo: We have two different styles in Poseidon and in Adam Young. Poseidon is a striking submission specialist.

Zach Davis: While "Unpredictable" Adam young is more technical.

Bobby Cairo: We will see, which ring style will be more effective.

The lights begin to flicker off as "The One You Love to Hate" By Bruce Dickinson & Rob Halford begins to play over the P.A. system.

Kyle Steel: From Miami, Florida... weighing in at 214 pounds......

Poseidon emerges from the darkness with a snake like smile going across his face.

Kyle Steel: PO-OSEI-I-ID-O-ONN-N!!

Poseidon takes in the various rude and hateful remarks being thrown at him from the awaiting fans. After a few seconds, Poseidon himself walks on down the entrance ramp and climbs into the ring as the fans continue to throw out the hateful remarks at him.

Zach Davis: You have a feeling, that these fans don't like Poseidon much?

Bobby Cairo(sarcastic): What gave you that idea?!

Zach Davis: Here comes his opponent.

The lights dim down as "Anarchy" by KMFDM starts playing and smoke fills the entrance. Out walks Adam Young and VKM.

Kyle Steel: Coming down, to the ring, with his manager VKM.

Bobby Cairo: VKM looks rather gorgeous tonight. What do you think Zach?

Zach Davis: ....

Bobby Cairo: Zach?

Kyle Steel: From Abilene,TX... weighing in at 245 pounds.... "Unpredictable" ADA-A-AM YOU-OU-OU-OUNG!!

Adam throws his arms out and VKM moves in front of him. She throws her head back and they kiss.

Bobby Cairo: ZA-A-ACH!!

Zach Davis: Oh. I'm sorry. I got stuck in a lil trance.

Bobby Cairo: Damn! She looks good tonight!!

They walk to the ring and Adam holds the ropes for VKM. Adam climbs in and goes to the second rope. Adam drops back to the mat. VKM hugs him and kisses him again.

Zach Davis: As the lovely VKM leaves the ring, we will get this match started.

[DING-DING!!]

Bobby Cairo: That's the bell a-a-and this match is underway.

Both men slowly circle the ring, as they get a good read on each other. As they begin to hook-up with a simple collar and elbow tie up....

[POP!!]

Zach Davis: A quick calf kick, to the right thigh of Adam Young.

Young smirks as they hook up....

[POP!!]

Bobby Cairo: A calf kick by Adam Young.

Zach Davis: So far, they seem to have a simple execution of their individual plans.

Poseidon spins and hits a savate kick in the mid-section of Adam Young.

Bobby Cairo: all that did was make Adam Young very angry.

Adam Young grabs Poseidon....

WHAM!!!

Zach Davis: that woke up the crowd! That was a picture perfect belly to belly suplex!

Bobby Cairo: But, it was the backbreaker, after the belly to belly suplex, that made that move. Oh! Adam Young is going for the pin!

Stanley Moser slides into position...

The crowd: On-

Zach Davis: Not even a one count!

Adam Young quickly stands up and grabs for Poseidon...

WHAM!!

Bobby Cairo: Poseidon caught Adam Young, off guard with a high Muay-Thai style kick to his head.

Zach Davis: That knocked Young back, a bit.

Poseidon charges....

KER-ER-ERA-A-CK!!!

Bobby Cairo: Sure Shot!!

Zach Davis: A picture perfect super kick!!

Adam Young is looking around frantically, as the crowd is on their feet!!

Bobby Cairo: These fans sure don't like Adam Young much.

Zach Davis: But, they sure do appreciate his wrestling ability!

Adam Young rushes towards the ropes.

Bobby Cairo: Adam Young bolts over to the ropes and leaps into the air.

Zach Davis: He uses the middle rope for extra leverage....

WOO-OOSH-WHAM!!!

Bobby Cairo: CRASH AND BURN!!

Zach Davis: Best... moonsault..... ever!!!!

The crowd begins to cheer louder...

Bobby Cairo: Anarchy Clutch!!

Poseidon begins to struggle and tries to move, but he can't. No matter how Poseidon tries to move, Adam Young has the submission move on tight!!!

Zach Davis: Poseidon is struggling. He is trying to resist...

DING!!-DING!!-DING!!!

Bobby Cairo: that's it!! Poseidon couldn't hold on any further. He had no choice, but to submit!!

Kyl Steel: Winner of the match, due to a submission.... A-A-ADA-AMM-M-M YOU-OU-OUNG!!!


Loud Noises AGAIN

The lights go out and then a HUGE explosion of fireworks for a split second explode off the top of the ramp. The stage then turns to gold and the jumbotron lights up.



The jumbotron shuts off, and then the arena goes back to dark. Everything comes back on as if nothing happened.. we cut to the announcers with confused faces.

Zach Davis: J.. D?

Bobby Cairo: Oh... OOHHHH... YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KID-

WCF Monday Night Slam cuts to a commercial.



Kash Takes A Wee-Wee

Voice: Aghhhhhh....

The scene opens in one of the public bathrooms backstage and quickly you can see Jason Kash leans up against a urinal. He's still in his green wrestling tights but he has them pulled down in the front. He is almost standing on his toes as you can hear the urine hit the urinal. Kash looks back over his shoulder to see the camera, after having beaten Robert Terry, Kash had rushed to the bathroom. He couldn't have gotten here any later without pissing himself, his bladder was gonna hurt later from holding in his pee.

Jason Kash: MAN!! I'd say a good 5 minutes into the match I felt my bladder fill up. Holding it in was worse then the match itself! Terry Roberts, you've got some power on you kid. I'll give you that. You have alot to learn though and you can continue learning as the weeks pass but allow me to give you one last peice of advice. Hold on...

Kash shakes and pulls up his tights as he steps away from the urinal. He pulls the steel handle and the urinal rushes with a loud flush as Kash steps over to the sink. He turns the water on until it's stream is enough to not spray out and get him soaked. As he gets his hands wet and begins soaping up, his voice is heard.

Jason Kash: So my advice to you is this...Learn from this loss, take it to where you know improvement can be made. Use your head but don't overthink shit, sometimes overthinking in the field of fight is more of a personal enemy than it is an ally. Don't be so preplanned on things, when you plan something too much there is always going to be something you get surprised with. Just see whats infront of you, see what you can do to counter your opponent, nothing else. Don't look to put someone through a table, bring the table into the picture and see where it fits into whats there for you. Just think don't overthink. This is a great thing to live by and if I wasn't high all the time other then at the shows then I'd for sure live by it. Oh and wash your hands when you use the bathroom, even when you don't feel they are dirty.

Busting through the bathroom door is Donald Deruty. He has a small envelope in his hand and nods up at Kash as they lock eyes. Kash looks down at the envelope and walks over to D-Day and grabs it after drying off his hands with a paper towel. Kash opens the envelope and his face turns ghost white. Kash pushes past D-Day and exits the bathroom, leaving the scene in an empty bathroom as the camera cuts back to ringside.


Zach Davis: Kash cracks me up.

Bobby Cairo: Well let's be honest, Terry Roberts was damn close to winning that match. I don't think Kash understands that.

Zach Davis: And in two weeks Kash takes on Shane Borderland for the Television Championship.. and what the hell was in that envelope?

Bobby Cairo: And yet Roberts was just THAT close to winning.. Sure he went all nutso-crazy, but he was super close to winning.

Zach Davis: How close?

Bobby Cairo: Don't patronize me..

United States Championship
El Matador vs Buzzsaw Bundy vs Ana Valentine(c)

Bobby Cairo: Goddamn it feels good to be back here at the WCF announce table!

Zach Davis: What do you mean, Bobbo? You've been here for months.

Bobby Cairo: Oh sure I have... but then have I? I mean, really? Am I even here right now?

Zach Davis: Uh, Bobby, this isn't the time for an existentialist diatribe.

Bobby Cairo: I'm sorry but you're going to have to deal with these occasional outbursts unless WCF forces me to start taking piss tests, which they cannot do. I specifically had Sethy Poo Pie insert a "no piss test" clause into my contract.

Zach Davis: Anyway... it's time for some hot three-way action featuring the newly crowned United States Champion Ana Valentine!

Bobby Cairo: And after that she'll have a wrestling match! Haha... ahh, I do amuse myself.

Zach Davis: Yes... you do.

Kyle Steel: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall and it is for the WCF United States Championship! Introducing first... from Mexico City... EL MATADOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!

"Come What May" by Stone Sour begins to play over the PA system and El Matador comes out full of energy. His arms everywhere trying to work the crowd as he makes his way down to ringside. Leaping up onto the ring apron with one knee, Matador grabs the ring rope and pulls himself up and ducks into the ropes getting in the ring, ready for the match.

Zach Davis: El Matador is our first entrant in this match and holy guacamole does this kid bring some serious energy to the ring!

Bobby Cairo: He is energetic, Zach, but he's also 0-1 in his WCF career. In fact this is the first time that we've seen El Matador in action since his loss to Wyatt Nolan on Slam more than a month ago. Why is he wrestling for the United States Championship, you might be asking? Well, he's Mexican and we have racial quotas to fill here in WCF!

Zach Davis: Do you suppose that if he wins the title he'll rename it the Mexican Championship?

Bobby Cairo: That's racist, Zach. Horribly racist and distasteful. Please apologize.

Zach Davis: Oh, uh... sorry.

Kyle Steel: Introducing his opponent... from Anchorage, Alaska... BUZZSAAAAAW BUNDYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

The sound of a chainsaw being pull started reverberates through the arena, as The Lumberjack starts. With the start of the lyrics Buzzsaw walks out, pausing on the stage to raise a fist. As the crowd pops, he makes his way to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans. Grabbing the top rope, he steps onto the apron, and over the top rope into the ring. As he prepares for his match, he removes his flannel shirt, revealing his muscled body.

Zach Davis: Buzzsaw Bundy is a charismatic lumberjack and the ladies seem to enjoy what he's peddling. Can he parlay those good vibrations into a title victory tonight?

Bobby Cairo: It's possible, Zach. As we know Buzzsaw ain't jacked his lumber, baby, since his chain saw Ana. Plus this young man is built like the proverbial brick shithouse, pardon my Française.

Zach Davis: Can you say that on TV?

Bobby Cairo: I should say so, Zach. Hell I just did! Why don't you give it a try?

Zach Davis: Ok here goes... brick [BLEEP]house. Brick [BLEEP]house. What the [BLEEP]? Why am I being [BLEEEEEEEP]? [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]!!!?!!!?!11

Bobby Cairo: Hahaha! Ahhhhh... I do amuse myself!

Kyle Steel: Introducing their opponent... from Las Vegas... she is the reigning WCF United States Champion... ANAAAAAAAAA VAAAAAALENTIIIIIIIINEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Don't Cha" by the Pussycat Dolls hits the PA and the crowd erupts. Ana walks down the ramp to pink pyro’s shooting off behind her. She pauses at the steps to the ring to blow kisses to the crowd. She then steps into the ring bending low to slip between the middle and bottom rope.

Zach Davis: Here's the champ! Goodness gracious she looks great with that United States Championship strapped around her waist, doesn't she Bobbolicious?

Bobby Cairo: She looks incredible, Tacky Zachy, although I'm not sure how you can focus on the championship that's strapped around her waist when the rest of her looks so... nubile and edible?

Zach Davis: One of us has to remain professional.

Bobby Cairo: Why thank you, Zachary! I am professional, aren't I? Here's some professional commentary: Ana Valentine possesses the perfect combination of beauty and talent. She has a psychological advantage over any heterosexual man that she steps into the ring with and if that wasn't enough she's one of the finest grapplers in the world today. Within two months of her debut she captured the WCF United States Championship by defeating a true great of this sport, Doc Henry. That is a truly remarkable accomplishment. Hell I've never even held the United States Championship and I'm in the Hall of Shame!

Zach Davis: I think you mean the Hall of Fame?

Bobby Cairo: No I meant what I said. Don't try to correct people, Zach. It's pompous.

Zach Davis: Sorry. Don't forget, folks, Ana is the champion but she doesn't have to be pinned or submitted in this match to lose her championship!

Bobby Cairo: That is absolutely true. These triple threat matches put the champion at a natural disadvantage for that very reason, but Ana defeated seemingly insurmountable odds to win the United States Championship so it's hard to bet against her making a successful title defense tonight.

Referee Snap Wennington checks each of the three competitors for weapons, paying special attention to the champion. Once Snap is satisfied he issues his final instructions to all three competitors and then calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

Zach Davis: This match is underway and Buzzsaw Bundy is coming out swinging! He just clobbered El Matador with a big ol' clobberin' paw!

Bobby Cairo: He almost knocked El Matador clean over the top rope, but El Matador was able to grab onto the top rope and flip back into the ring thanks to his incredible agility! Goddamn I bet he does yoga!

As El Matador flips back into the ring he hits Buzzsaw in the face with a kick. Bundy is staggered but still standing. El Matador aims to do more damage but Ana sneaks up from behind and sets him up for a belly-to-back suplex, which she executes with precision into a pin attempt.

Snap Wennington: ONE...

TWO...

NO!!!

El Matador kicks out.

Zach Davis: Ana tried for the quick win but El Matador has too much left in the tank!

Bobby Cairo: Ana isn't letting up, Zach. She's stomping away at El Matador's, uh, midsection.

Zach Davis: That's gotta hurt!

Bobby Cairo: If you want pleasure sometimes you have to be willing to endure pain.

Zach Davis: I'm not even gonna touch that.

Bobby Cairo: That's what she said.

After she finishes stomping a mudhole in El Matador, Ana pulls him to his feet and drills him with a beautiful Northern Lights suplex into a bridge.

Snap Wennington: ONE...

TWO...

NO!!!

Buzzsaw grabs Ana's left leg and pulls her off of El Matador. Ana jumps to her feet, angry at first but her expression quickly turns to a wicked smile.

Zach Davis: Buzzsaw likes Ana and I'm sure that he didn't mind her inflicting punishment on El Matador, but he's not going to just stand there and let her win the match!

Bobby Cairo: I think she respects and appreciates that, Zach. Buzzsaw has a dick the size of a Redwood and balls the size of church bells, but he's not thinking with any of that stuff right now. He's thinking with his brain!

Ana slaps Buzzsaw hard across his face. The sound of hand meeting cheek echoes throughout Chaifetz Arena as the crowd OOOOHs.

Zach Davis: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!!!!!!!

Bobby Cairo: Buzzsaw Bundy just got bitchslapped by a bitch, pardon my Française!

Buzzsaw looks incensed. Ana just laughs at him. A few hooligans in the crowd direct a "You's A Punk!" chant toward Bundy, further enraging the Alaskan strongman. Bundy takes a wild swing at Ana but she ducks it and leaps onto Bundy's shoulders into a crucifix position. Ana tries to take him down but Buzzsaw won't budge. Now it's Buzzsaw's turn to smile wickedly before burying Ana with a MASSIVE Samoan Drop.

Bobby Cairo: Samoan Drop! Samoan Drop! Fuck the Burning Hammer, the Samoan Drop is the most devastating move in professional wrestling!

Zach Davis: Buzzsaw hooks Ana's leg and he's got her covered! New champ?!

Snap Wennington: ONE...

TWO...

NO!!!

Zach Davis: Ana kicks out!

Bobby Cairo: Ana's a tough woman and a true champion, but she may have pissed off the wrong lumberjack tonight.

Bundy pulls Ana up by her hair and then whips her hard into the corner. He charges in and connects with a devastating body avalanche.

Bobby Cairo: Goddamn... the impact!

Zach Davis: And now Bundy is grinding his pelvis against the champion as she's trapped against the turnbuckles!

Bobby Cairo: Talk about a rock and a hard place!

After getting his rocks off in the corner, Bundy drags Ana to the middle of the ring. He wraps her up in a bear hug and violently shakes her from side to side as if she were a ragdoll.

Zach Davis: Grizzly Attack! My god there's a Grizzly Attack in St. Louis and the champion is in trouble!

Bobby Cairo: This is not where Ana wants to be. Well, scratch that, I'm sure that Ana wants to be in the arms of a big, burly mountain man like Buzzsaw Bundy, but not in this context! Come on, Ana! Dig deep!

Zach Davis: There's no bias allowed at this announce table, Bobby, unless Torture is wrestling!

Bobby Cairo: Oh come on! She weighs a hundred and nine pounds and she looks like Elisha Cuthbert! I'm allowed to be biased!

Ana tries to fight out of the hold but Bundy is simply too strong for her to overcome. Suddenly Ana lashes out with a pair of vicious headbutts that briefly stagger Buzzsaw, but he quickly recovers and actually tightens his grip.

Snap Wennington: Ana! Ana! Do you want to quit? You have to answer me or I'm going to stop the match!

Ana Valentine: No! No! Never, you bastard! I won't quit!

Snap Wennington: Ok cool, but you didn't have to call me a bastard.

Ana suddenly springs forward and wraps her legs around Bundy's waist while still trapped in the bear hug. She gyrates her hips in an almost hypnotizing fashion. Bundy moans slightly. He loosens his grip but he's still hugging Ana.

Zach Davis: Oh my goodness... what on God's green earth are we watching?

Bobby Cairo: It's called sexual intercourse, Zach, but you wouldn't know anything about that.

From out of nowhere, El Matador connects with a missile dropkick to the back of Buzzsaw's head. Bundy drops to the mat, crushing Ana beneath him.

Bobby Cairo: God I envy Buzzsaw Bundy right now.

Zach Davis: Even with the concussion that he probably just suffered?

Bobby Cairo: Even so, yes.

Zach Davis: Where the hell did El Matador come from, by the way? I forgot he was even in this match!

Bobby Cairo: I'm guessing that he came from the top rope unless he has the uncanny ability to fly, Zacharoid.

El Matador wastes little time in rolling Bundy off of Ana and covering her.

Snap Wennington: ONE...

TWO...

THR--NO!!!

Ana kicks out. Undiscouraged, El Matador tries his luck by covering Bundy this time.

Snap Wennington: ONE...

TWO...

THR--NO!!!

Bundy kicks out. El Matador is pissed now. He slams the mat with his fists while cursing in Spanish.

Zach Davis: El Matador just came within an eyelash of becoming the United States Champion... twice!

Bobby Cairo: He can't get discouraged now. Do work, son! Put these fools away! Make your madre and padre proud!

El Matador is climbing the turnbuckles, setting up for one of his patented high flying maneuvers.

Bobby Cairo: Yes! This is awesome! We're about to have a Mexican United States Champion! I love it! Viva anarchy! Fuck the American government!

Bundy staggers to his feet, still clearly suffering the effects of El Matador's missile dropkick to the back of his head. El Matador launches himself from the top rope and deftly executes a sunset flip on Buzzsaw, but the big man suddenly comes to life and blocks El Matador from finishing with the powerbomb.

Zach Davis: El Matador was going for the Furia De La Matanza Una, but Buzzsaw Bundy stuffed it and now El Matador is in a precarious position under three-hundred and sixty-five pounds of lumberjack!

Buzzsaw drops down and squashes El Matador like a pancake. The crowd gasps.

Bobby Cairo: Oh my poes! Buzzsaw just squashed El Matador, Banzai style! No way El Matador can get up from that!

Snap Wennington: ONE...

TWO...

THRE--NO!!!

Zach Davis: Ana Valentine just cracked Buzzsaw Bundy in the head with a Shining Wizard! The United States Champion is now in control of this match!

Bobby Cairo: Christ, Buzzsaw's neurologist is going to be busy this week.

Realizing that Bundy is a bit too heavy for her to lift, Ana pushes him aside, scoops up El Matador and plants him with the Cupids Bow. She hooks his leg as she makes the cover.

Snap Wennington: ONE...

TWO...

THREE!!!

DING! DING! DING!

Zach Davis: It's over! Ana Valentine retains!

Kyle Steel: Your winner and STILL WCF United States Champion... ANAAAAAAAAA VAAAAAALENTIIIIIIIINEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The crowd roars its approval for Ana's valiant effort as she receives her championship belt from the referee and then has her hand raised. The crowd's cheers grow even louder as Ana does a sexy victory dance while "Don't Cha" blares on the PA.

Bobby Cairo: Ana's a great wrestler and a great dancer to boot! She's a double threat, Zachy!

Zach Davis: No doubt about that, Bobby, and she'll be a threat to whoever challenges her for the United States Championship in two weeks at Timebomb!

Buzzsaw slowly gets to his feet. Ana notices him, and he notices her noticing him. Their eyes lock. Ana winks at Buzzsaw and blows him a kiss. Buzzsaw smiles as he rubs the feeling back into his head. Ana takes things a step further by putting on a booty show for Bundy as she climbs out of the ring. Buzzsaw's jaw drops and he stops rubbing his head, as the pain is suddenly alleviated.

Donald "D-Day" Deruty vs Anthony Royal

Bobby Cairo: We’ve got D-Day versus Anthony Royal coming up next!

Zach Davis: I saw Kash blow weed-smoke into D-Day’s face a few days ago. I hope he hasn’t become an addict.

Bobby Cairo: I’m pretty sure he’s not.

Zach Davis: I saw a commercial where some kids got high and shot a baby with a shotgun.

Bobby Cairo: Way to go, Zach. Your anecdotes are as sharp and relevant as ever.. Besides, we love Donald!

“I Came to Play” by Downstrait plays through the speakers. Royal appears at the top of the entrance ramp with an arrogant smirk on his face. He raises his hands in the air then begins to slowly strut his way to the ring taking in the boos of the crowd. He hops on the ring apron and stares into the crowd for a moment before entering. He then goes to each turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air, then takes time to taunt the crowd before moving to the next. Finally, he goes to the middle of the ring and awaits his opponent.

Bobby Cairo: Royal got off to a roaring start here in the WcF. Hell, he’s already won the Hardcore title twice!

Zach Davis: However, for two straight weeks he’s had trouble out of that monster, Greenfever. I actually had heard he was in the hospital.

“Anthem of the Underdog” by 12 Stones plays in the speakers. The lights are dim. The lights flash on to D-Day walking out to the top of the ramp with his belt and falls on his knees and throws his arms in the air, as soon as he throws them in the air fire works go off and surround him. The screen shows all of D-Day moments of his dead and forgotten special move. As also the screen shows a ring then the words in white and in cursive, the words D-Day. When D-Day get in the ring he raises his hands to his name on the screen and followed by all of the titles he has held in the WCF.

Bobby Cairo: And there he is folks! WcF’s favorite son! D-Day!

Zach Davis: D-Day certainly is the white knight of the WcF. Let’s see what he’s got in store for tonight’s match.

<DING!DING!DING!>

Royal and D-Day square off. Royal lunges at D-Day and is slung over in a quick hip toss. Royal rebounds and bounces off the ropes. D-Day hops Royal and follows him, looking for the clothesline.

Zach Davis: D-Day with the still clothesline on Royal.

Bobby Cairo: Damn near blasted him out of his boots!

D-Day lifts Royal and slings him into the turnbuckle. Royal runs up the corner and back-flips over the pursuing D-Day. Royal lands a strong spinning-heel kick into D-Day’s back. Royal lifts D-Day onto the second rope and threads his legs around the turnbuckle. Royal steps backward and yells at the crowd as D-Day struggles to free himself. Royal sprints and slides, blasting D-Day in the face with a kick. D-Day flips out of the tree of woe and onto the mat ungracefully. Royal lifts D-Day but, D-Day fires a European elbow out of nowhere. Royal stumbles back and D-Day unleashes a flurry of strikes. He powers in a spinning back-fist and finishes with a step-up enziguri. Royal flops onto the mat.

Bobby Cairo: Wow! Awesome combo. D-Day has been tweaking his style.

D-Day climbs up the nearest turnbuckle and launches himself down onto Royal.

Zach Davis: Frog-splash!! And D-Day’s going for a cover!

One!

Two! Kickout!

Royal shoves D-Day off of him and stumbles to his feet. D-Day attempts a float-over DDt but, Royal wriggles out of it. Royal kicks D-Day in the stomach and locks on a suplex. Royal flings D-Day over but, D-Day manages to flip to his feet. D-Day bounds off the second rope. Royal ducks D-Day’s spin-kick and counters with a low elevation dropkick. Royal quickly locks on a single-leg crab. D-Day reaches for the ropes.

Bobby Cairo: Looks like Royal has that lock on pretty damned tight!

D-Day thrusts his legs down, flipping Royal onto his back. D-Day forward rolls and stands. He stretches his leg to work out the pain. Royal inches toward D-Day. Royal swings and misses several strikes. D-Day blocks a high kick and misses with a sweep of his own. Royal lands a right cross and drags D-Day down to the mat. Royal locks onto D-Day’s leg and tries to reposition another single leg crab. D-Day kicks Royal off. D-Day super-kicks Royal. Royal collapses to the mat.

Zach Davis: I think Royal just got knocked out!

Bobby Cairo: Everyone in St. Louis heard that kick!

The ref begins counting over Royal’s unconscious body.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

Royal jolts back to consciousness.

NINE!

Royal stumbles to his feet just in time.

Royal dropkicks D-Day to the mat. Royal lifts D-Day and plants him with a back breaker. Royal tries to lock on a leg-lock but D-Day kicks his way out of it. D-Day picks himself up just to be socked in the mouth by Royal. Royal lands a step-up enziguri on D-Day and follows it up with a quick moonsault. Royal goes for the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Royal slams his hand against the mat and lifts D-Day angrily. D-Day backhands Royal and spinkicks him into the ropes. D-Day super-kicks Royal in the face.

Bobby Cairo: Holy SHHHHMOKES!

Zach Davis: Helluva' kick!

D-Day tries for another super-kick but, Royal manages to dodge it. Royal clotheslines D-Day down. Royal lifts D-Day and and spikes him down with a tilt-awhirl-backbreaker. D-Day clutches his back in pain. Royal flips D-Day and locks in a boston crab. D-Day reaches out for the ropes. His fingertips are millimeters away from it! D-Day’s face is contorted in pain. He grabs the bottom rope. The ref breaks up the hold. Royal is ushered back a few feet. D-Day kicks himself up to his feet. The ref steps out of their way. D-Day runs at Royal. Royal whips him into the ropes. Royal bounds up to the top turn-buckle and leaps. D-Day super-kicks Royal out of mid-air. Royal falls to the mat harshly. D-Day instantly locks on a crippler cross-face.

Bobby Cairo: Justice Lock! In the center of the ring!

Royal claws at the mat, trying to inch toward the rope. The ref slides in and begins asking Royal if he gives in. Royal resists. D-Day wrenches the Justice Lock back viscously on Royal. Royal begins to slap the mat in resignation. The ref breaks up the hold and lifts D-Day’s arm in victory.

Bobby Cairo: D-Day clenches the win!

Zach Davis: Mr. Deruty never fails to amaze me. He’s a future World Champion if I’ve ever seen one.

Jumbotron lights up as D-Day stands in the middle of the ring. It's Torture standing outside with a smirk. The crowd boos.

Torture: Good evening Donald Deruty. Good win.. great match.. you really toughened up your moveset and preparing yourself for Timebomb in a few weeks. I hope you're ready. I know I am, in fact, that's why I'm on the jumbotron here tonight. You see, I wanted to show you something in hopes of you understanding just how ready I am.

The scene fades back a bit to show Torture is standing in the middle of God knows where. He continues talking wearing nothing but a nice ass suit.

Torture: Donald, you are nothing more than an annoying nat that won't get out of my face so while I was shocked to learn we'll be meeting at Timebomb, I have thought and pondered, and realized that at Timebomb, I'm getting my wish. You see, inside the six tons of steel cage that will wrap us and bind us together on March 28th, I'm going to destroy every inch of you. You will not walk, you will not talk, you will not breathe when I'm done at Timebomb. Which leads me to the point I'm here..

The scene fades out a bit more and we notice a sledgehammer leaning up against Torture's leg. He picks it up.

Torture: Tonight, I'm going to destroy what fate and destiny couldn't finish off.

The scene is officially set and Torture is standing in a cemetary. Behind him is a headstone that reads "Donny Deruty". Torture swings the sledgehammer and destroys the head stone into pieces. Torture then turns and nails another headstone that reads "Thomas Deruty". Torture wipes the sweat from his bow and spits on both graves.

Zach Davis: WHAT THE HELL! THATS DAY'S BROTHERS! THEY DIED SERVING THIS COUNTRY!

Day is shocked standing in the middle of the ring. He leans against the ropes with his hands covering his mouth in complete shock and horror. On the jumbotron Torture picks up the sledgehammer and continues speaking.

Torture: And last but not least, Donald there is a man that gave birth to a very annoying nat that just won't stay down when he knows he should. I've mastered you, Deruty, I truly have and at Timebomb it will be no different. You have a lot to learn about me, Day.. a lot.

Torture then stops at one headstone that reads "Jack Deruty" Underneath it, it says "Loving Father, Loving Husband, Fighting Hero". Torture puts his foot on it, then kneels down into frame that shows just the headstone and Torture's evil smirk.

Torture: Say goodnight to your father, Donald.

Torture then swings the hammer while Day screams out "NOOOOOOO" and smashes the gravesite's headstone into pieces. Day kneels down against the middle rope now in complete shock.

Zach Davis: GOD DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TORTURE STRAIGHT TO HELL! STRAIGHT TO GOD DAMN HELL!

Torture then drops the hammer and turns his back on the camera. He moves his hands to his midsection..

Bobby Cairo: Tell me he's not..

A stream of liquid comes from the mid-section onto the gravesite. Yes, Torture's pissing on Day's fathers gravesite. Day holds both hands over his face in complete shock. Some of the crowd is stunned. Torture zips up and turns to the camera.. and winks. The jumbotron shuts off.

Zach Davis: OH MY GAWD.

Bobby Cairo: HEY WHOSE THAT?

A man slides into the ring and Day notices and turns around. Torture DECKS Donald with a chair to the head! Day goes down hard!

Zach Davis: TORTURE'S HERE? WHAT THE HELL??

Day stumbles back up and Torture decks him straight to the head with another chair shot! Day goes down and is out cold. Torture drops the chair and takes off his suit jacket and takes off his tie. Leaving his white button up shirt and black pants, Torture positions the blue, relentless, cold steel chair in the middle of the ring and picks up Donald.

Zach Davis: COME ON TORTURE! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Bobby Cairo: THIS MUST HAVE BEEN HIS PLAN??

Zach Davis: WHO CARES! GOD I HATE HIM SO MUCH!

Torture picks up Day from behind and chokes him while in the dragon-sleeper position.. from here Torture smirks at the camera then flat-spins and connects with a Tortures Device right on the chair! Torture stands up and kicks Day to his back and slides the chair out of the ring. Torture is lost in a train of thought, who knows what the hell is going on in his head. Torture hits his knees right at the head of Day as blood drips down Day's face. Torture holds the head of Day while on his knees and then takes a finger and runs it through Day's blood.. with his bloody finger, Torture draws an upper case T on his white button up shirt.. right across his chest. Torture then smiles like a sadistic son of a bitch and winks in the camera as security guards and refs rush to the ring. Torture stands up and the officials rush to the aid of Donald Deruty. Torture steps out of the ring and walks up the ramp as we cut to a commercial break.

#1 Contender - World Heavyweight Championship - Timebomb
Jay Price vs Jay Williams vs Doc Henry vs Oblivion

Zach Davis: Welcome back to Monday Night Slam everybody and just moments ago, Day defeated Anthony Royal in a one on one contest, and then Torture appeared on the tron..

Bobby Cairo: And from there, Torture destroyed the gravesites of Day's two brothers, and his father. He then urinated on them in disgusting fashion.. it's something I wouldn't even do..

Zach Davis: Then a sneak attack from behind, and Day took two chairshots to the head and then a Torture's Device for good measure..

Bobby Cairo: And in what I can only explain as something I've seen from a horror flick, Torture then wiped Day's blood on his own shirt in an uppercase T.. all I can say is paybacks a bitch for Torture.

Zach Davis: This is far from over, Bobby. Timebomb may be in two weeks but we have next week's Slam before then..

Bobby Cairo: Speaking of Timebomb, we need a number one contender for Johnny Reb's World Championship..

Zach Davis: And that's coming up next!

The lights go out. In the name of God by Slayer begins to play, as the thunderous combination of the guitars, bass, and drums explode through the arena's speakers. There are a mixture of cheers and boos, more cheers than boos. The crowd stands onto their feet and rush towards the security railings. Oblivion slowly slinks out to the entrance stage, low to the ground. The guitar solo begins, lazers flash throughout the arena. Thunder-like sounds rattle the arena, as lighting strike-like sounds shake the foundation. He comes down the ramp to the music. Crowd is mixed of course. Oblivion proceeds to slide under the ring ropes and is walking over to a corner. Several thousand cameras flash throughout the arena, as Oblivion strikes a muscular pose. Oblivion taunts one more time then gets pissed and looks at the stage just when..

As the drums hit the house lights fade, and red and blue lights strobe. At "Please allow me to introduce myself", Doc and Mary walk out onto the stage, and look back and forth over the audience. As the crowd boos, the make their way to the ring, where Doc rolls in. Standing, he grins proudly as he pops the crowd drawing more boos. Mocking them, he sits on the turnbuckle and stares a hole through Oblivion.

Zach Davis: Wow.. this is getting intense..

All of the lights in the arena go out, sending the crowd into panic mode. A series of red lights slowly begin to come on, starting around the ring and then moving up the ramp toward the stage. Out of nowhere "Nightmare" by Avenged Sevenfold hits the PA System which instantly draws a chorus of boos and derogative chants from the crowd. The jumbotron flickers to life as highlights of Price's career begin to play, much to the displeasure of the crowd. The booing only intensifies as Price makes his way out onto the stage, his head and most of his face hidden under the hood of a black sweatjacket. He pauses and takes a look out at the crowd, a bit of a grin on his face, before making his way down the ramp toward the ring. Along the way he mockingly attempts to slap a few children's hands before pulling his hand back at the last moment. He finally reaches the ring steps and climbs them, makes his way through the ropes, and then climbs up the nearest corner to the second turnbuckle. He glares around at the crowd, smirking at the boos and chants, before slowly raising a middle finger for all to see. Finally he hops out of the corner and removes his jacket, choosing to throw it into the referee's face rather than into the crowd, before beginning to stretch to get ready for his match.

Bobby Cairo: Price is now in the ring..

Zach Davis: And listen to this crowd!

WILLIAMS! WILLIAMS! WILLIAMS! WILLIAMS! WILLIAMS!

Bobby Cairo: Interesting fact here.. Williams was born right here in St. Louis..

Zach Davis: Oh then this is going to be good...

The chant slowly dies as the three men stand in the ring.. a hush comes over the crowd.. ten seconds go by.. fifteen seconds go by.. twenty seconds go by...it's all quiet when..

HUGE Firework explosion and the words "LET'S ROCK!" is heard and the crowd goes apeshit crazy. The sounds of Megadeth's cover of the theme to Duke Nukem 3D kicks on the PA system as white smoke fills the entrance ramp. It's to the point where the white spotlights are strobing to the beat of the song. But when the song finally kicks in, the strobelights are going mad as out from the white smoke, is Jay Williams, his wife Amy in tow, hoodie on over his ring gear as he gives off a wicked smile to the crowd and jumps up and down, adrenaline pumping inside of him. He run up the ring steps now and perches himself on top of the nearest turnbuckle, like a hawk ready to strike. He keeps smiling to the crowd as he takes the time to sit on the top turnbuckle, looking at whoever's in the ring with him as he takes off his hoodie, setting it near Amy and throwing his shirt into the crowd for a lucky fan, as he jumps off, ready to game on.

Zach Davis: THIS CROWD IS INSANE FOR JAY WILLIAMS RIGHT NOW!

The music stops and Williams goes face to face immediately with Doc Henry. Their foreheads smash together in the middle of the ring as Oblivion and Jay Price goes chest to chest talking trash. The crowd is eating this up and the intensity level is at an all time high. Doc Henry stares down Williams.. then Oblivion.. and Jay Price.. they turn towards Jay Williams..

Zach Davis: Uh oh.. This doesn't look good..

Bobby Cairo: I think I just realized something.. I think they know who the real threat is in this match!

Zach Davis: Interesting, Bobby!

Williams takes a deep breath and looks down at the canvas.. he then looks up at the crowd and smiles.. He backhand chops Oblivion, kicks Jay Price, and then Punches away at Doc Henry! Williams throws Doc Henry into the corner, then ducks Jay Price's clothesline, ducks under Oblivion's big bot and grabs Obli from behind! Doc stumbles out of the corner and Williams smashes Obliviion face first into Doc Henry sending Doc back into the corner, then Williams still holding onto Oblivion rolls him up from behind and then lets go, gets to his feet and kicks Oblivion in the back of the head, turns around and ducks another clothesline from Price, Price hits the ropes and Williams hits a dropkick sending Price back through the ropes to the floor! Doc Henry runs from the corner and Williams throws Doc Henry over the top rope! Oblivion is up and Williams grabs hte top rope and pulls it down, sending Oblivion over the top rope!

Zach Davis: OHHHH MY!

Bobby Cairo: LISTEN TO THIS CROWD! JAY WILLIAMS IS ON FIRE!

Price, Doc and Oblivion stand up on the same side of the ring, Williams hits the ropes, and springboards to the top rope, he turns around and moonsaults off of it landing on all three men! They all crash down as the crowd goes apeshit nuts once more! Williams slides into the ring and taunts to the crowds approval! Doc Henry slides in and goes for an attack but Williams ducks and Doc hits the ropes then Williams hits a stiff spinebuster! Doc is out and Williams goes for a pin! One! Two! Kick out. Williams gets to his feet and picks up Doc Henry throwing him into the corner. Williams climbs up and hits a right hand! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Williams yells out "DYYNNOOMIITEE!" and punches a tenth time! The crowd goes crazy and Williams climbs off of Doc Henry. Williams turns around and Oblivion goes for CHECK OUT TIME but Williams ducks and connects with Doc Henry right in the chin! Doc sits out in the corner out cold! Williams goes for a German Suplex on Oblivion but he blocks it with his leg, Obli gets behind Williams and goes for a German Suplex but Williams lands on his feet backflipping in mid-air. Obli gets up thinking he just gave Williams a stiff one, but turns around and Williams connects with a kick and a double arm DDT! Williams goes for a pin but Price slides the ref out. Williams gets to his feet and puts his hands on his hips.. Doc out in the corner, Obli rolls out of the ring and Price wipes hte sweat from his brow and then checks his bottom lip if it's bloody.. Price and Williams stand in the middle of the ring when.. Price just slaps the spit right out of Williams mouth!

Zach Davis: OH MAN!

Bobby Cairo: You heard the impact!

Zach Davis: You damn near felt it!

Williams holds his face and looks out at the crowd. Price just stares and mouths "What ya gonna do about it?". Williams slaps Price across the face even harder!

Zach Davis: OH WOW! THEY'RE TRADING SLAPS!

Bobby Cairo: Is this the womens division?

Zach Davis: Oh shut it.

Williams goes for another slap but Price blocks it then throws a knee into the mid-section, but it's a controversial call as it looked a bit low. The ref gives a warning and the crowd boos as Williams is holding his crotch. Price throws Williams shoulder first into the turnbuckle and when Williams stumbles backwards, Price hits a Russian Leg Sweep, then rolls to his feet and begins stomping on Williams. Price then walks over and grabs Doc Henry and picks him up and hits a snap suplex! Oblivion gets into the ring and Price hits Oblivion with a Busted Grill 2.0! Price gets up and claps his hands together as if business is surely done. Price covers Jay Williams but Williams rolls him up into a quick pin!

Zach Davis: Price is getting pinned! One! Two!

Bobby Cairo: Kick out!

Price gets up angry and hits a running yakuza kick into Williams head knocking him out and out of hte ring. Jay Price is pissed and picks up Doc Henry throwing him into the corner. Price runs and hits a clothesline! Doc stays put and Oblivion gets up in the corner directly across the ring. Price runs and goes for a clothesline but Oblivion gets his foot up and kicks Price right into the face! From there Oblivion hits the Check Out Time! Price goes down like a sack of shit. Oblivion walks across the ring and picks up Doc Henry and puts him on the top rope. Henry tries to fight back but Oblivion knees him and punches him and then from the top rope, Oblivion hits Doc Henry with The Shatter! Oblivion goes for a cover! One! Two!

Zach Davis: Williams with the save!

Bobby Cairo: But barely!

Williams gets up but Oblivion hits the 5150! Obli goes for a cover, but when he bends down, Price rolls up Obli and puts his legs on the ropes! The ref counts! One! Two! The ref notices Price using the ropes and kicks Price's feet off! Obli uses the momentum and rolls Price up! One! Two! Price kicks out! Price and Obli get up and both hit each other with a stiff clothesline! All four men down!

Zach Davis: Whoa!

The ref begins to count.

One!

Two!

...

Three!

....

Four!

...

Five!

...

Six!

...

Seven!

Zach Davis: Look whose moving..

Bobby Cairo: If it ain't that southern food, then it's the southern soul that just won't stay down..

The crowd boo's as Doc Henry is getting to his feet.

Zach Davis: Doc Henry has to be the biggest taker of any opportunity he's ever had! Remember at War when we thought he was out of it, but only to remember he was out on the ground for almost twenty minutes and still almost won it!? Remember him getting into big time matches with Reb, and now look!

Bobby Cairo: Doc has his opponents down and out! Can he capatilize?!

Doc Henry uses all of the ropes to get up.. Mary gets over to the side of the ring he's on and cheers him on. The crowd boo's their asses off. Jay Price is the first to stand up after Doc is already on his feet.. Price walks right into Doc Henry and his Gambler's Hand! Doc Henry gets up and Oblivion walks right into Doc Henry's Gambler's Hand! Doc gets up and Jay Williams.. yup, stumbles right into Gambler's Hand! Mary is screaming to pin! PIN! Henry pins Jay Price..

One!

Two!

Zach Davis: THISCOULDBEIT! NOOOO.. JAY PRICE KICKED UP!

Doc is shocked.. he crawls over and grabs the leg of Oblivion!

ONE!

TWO!

Bobby Cairo: WEHAVEANUMBERONECONTEND... NOOO! Oblivion kicked up as well!

Doc.. takes a deep breath... and crawls over to Jay Williams and pins.. he hooks the leg..

ONE!

TWO!

THR-

Zach Davis: WILLIAMS KICKS UP!

Doc Henry looks out at the crowd with his head resting on the corner turnbuckle.. almost out of it.. he's pissed of now.. and you never want to piss of a true southerner... Jay Price is the first to get up once again and Doc hits him with a spear! Henry gets to his feet and shouts at the top of his lungs "REB, YOU'RE MIIINEEE!!!!" Doc runs and hits Oblivion with a spear! Jay Williams gets up and Doc Henry hits a third spear!

Zach Davis: It's over! Doc Henry has done it!

Bobby Cairo: Just choose someone to pin!

Doc Henry stands to his feet looking at the carnage..

DON'T CHA YA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS A FREAK LIKE ME? DON'T CHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME? DON'T CHA!?

Crowd goes apeshit crazy and Ana Valentine steps onto the stage with her United States Championship waving to the crowd. Doc Henry turns his attention to her and is yelling about why the hell she's even out here! Doc is going stir-crazy, yelling vulgar words, and using crummy langauge.

Zach Davis: What the hell is the United States Champion doing!?

Bobby Cairo: Doc has it wrapped up!? Doc turn around!

Ana Valentine waves to the fans and blows them kisses and her music stops and she walks back through the curtain.. Doc turns around and Jay Price and Jay Williams superkick Doc right in the face sending him over the top rope to the mats below!

Zach Davis: OH WOW WHAT A KICK!

Price runs at Oblivion, but Obli hits The Black Hole! Oblivion goes for a cover but Williams picks up Oblivion and hits the Williams Driver! Jay is too tired to make an immediate cover but then gets his breath and crawls over.. Jay Williams gets an arm over..

One!

Two!

THREE!

Zach Davis: NO! OBLIVION KICKED OUT!

Jay Williams can't believe it.. the refs arm almost counted three.. Williams gets up but Price grabs Williams and hits The Downfall!

Zach Davis: OUT OF FREAKING NOWHERE!

Bobby Cairo: PRICE MAY HAVE JUST DONE IT!

Jay Price covers Jay Williams..

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-

The arm is stopped by Oblivion...

Zach Davis: HOW THE HELL WAS THAT NOT THREE?

Bobby Cairo: I THINK PRICE THINKS IT'S THREE?

Jay Price gets up thinking he's won and leans on the top rope when Oblivion kicks Jay Price in the back of the head sending him over the top rope.. Williams gets to his feet and in a desparation move goes for a running something or another, but Oblivion ducks it, and when Williams hits the ropes on his rebound, Oblivion then hits The Soultaker! Jay Williams is out and Oblivion pins..

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Name of God by Slayer hits the speakers..

Zach Davis: WHAT? WHAT? WHATTTT??

Bobby Cairo: OBLIVION WINS? ARE YOU SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW?

Zach Davis: LOOK AT THE REACTIONS OF THIS CROWD?!

Doc Henry sits up and hears the music.. he looks into the ring.. Last thing he remembers is that he had it won.. he loses all rage and yells out "AANNNNAAAAA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!". Jay Price leaning up against the guardrail holding hte back of his head looks up at Oblivion inside the ring whose standing with his arm raised!

Zach Davis: Oblivion is the number one contender!

Bobby Cairo: I have no idea how Jay Price and Jay Williams did not win this match! I mean, Oblivion was great, but so was Williams and Price!

Zach Davis: A very hard fought battle indeed, I'm very interested in what the hell happens next.

Bobby Cairo: We're out of time for this week though, Zach.. Do your thang..

Zach Davis: THANKS FOR JOINING US.. CONGRATS TO OBLIVION.. GOODNIGHT ERRYBODY!

Monday Night Slam goes off the air.