Drunk and Crazy by Mogwai begins playing as the crowd in the WCF Arena comes alive! We go to our announcers.
Zach Davis: Welcome to Slam! Zach and Shannan here, and we're one week away from Helloween.
Shannan Lerch: One week away from Brad Kane going one on one with Jay Williams. Kane is in action tonight against Oblivion, and Williams against Vic.
Zach Davis: Williams has to be pretty happy. Oblivion is a monster, Kane is in for a hell of a night.
Shannan Lerch: We've also got two big tag matches. The Alliance teams up once again to face the team of Lawnmower Jones and Switches the Clown.
Zach Davis: Jones vs Switches has also been confirmed for Helloween, in a "these guys don't need to wear Halloween costumes" match.
Shannan Lerch: Also, Day and Reb once again team up, facing the team of Doc Henry and Jake Keeton. Henry and Reb are, of course, long term rivals. And he and Keeton will face off at the PPV for the TV Title, as well as with Roy Speede.
Zach Davis: Lastly, in our opener, we've got Aaron Miles in a hardcore match against Kaylyn James Evans and El Mideo Extremo. Does he have what it takes to compete for the Hardcore Title?
Shannan Lerch: Let's find out!
“With Oden On Our Side“ hits the PA system as Odin makes his way out to the ring to mixed reactions.
Zach Davis: Odin Balfore isn’t the most popular man in WCF.
Shannan Lerch: No he isn’t, Zach. Odin’s probably the most Notorious man in WCF today.
Zach Davis: Both a topic of interest and a man of controversy.
Odin walks down the ramp, stepping over the ropes and into the ring.
Shannan Lerch: Looks like we’ll be hearing from Mr. Balfore; I don’t know if that’s good or bad though.
Odin gets a mic as he addresses the chanting crowd. Chants of “O-Din” and “ASSHOLE“ bounce off each other as Odin brushes them off.
Odin Balfore: Yeah, tell me something I don’t already know. For those of you out there who skipped the past few months or just failed to acknowledge it, you need to realize that this Odin Balfore thing just ain’t goin’ away. The Bad Motha Fucka movement, isn’t going anywhere. I’m not out here to convince you of that though, I’ll show you that next week at the Pay Per View because if you want to see the future of this company, you’ll need to pay to see me whoop Reb pillar to post, popcorn stand to T-shirt vendor. I’m here to talk about last week when Reb came out here at the top of the show and told all of you that it was a preview of things to come, only to back peddle the other day in an interview with Hank Brown. What we all saw last week was Johnny Reb defeated, clearing the ring in retreat. That’s what we all saw because he knew that if he spent anymore time in that ring with me that he would share the same fate as D-Day. Reb, you can tell the world all you want about how you spoke too soon because it's true. It was true last week and it was true at WAR X- YOU SPOKE TOO SOON. Don’t get too comfortable with my title. I know that you aren’t friends with Seth- I’m glad that you just want him to sign your pay checks; I’m truly touched but you were in the ring with him when my title was taken along with Logan and Jones. I got my anger out on Logan- you know, that hall of famer you want to classify yourself with. Don’t twist it either, you keep name dropping more than D-Day. You know what though I beat Logan, I gave you a controlled dose of my ability in the ring last week and this week I take care of Jones. All that’s left is.. Helloween.
You see, at Helloween you’re just collateral damage. My real fight is with Seth but Seth, he threw you into the fire by putting you in-between he and I. So really, I could care less about what happens to you. Now I’m not going to say that I have a disregard for human life or that I’m a sick fuck. I’m just telling you right now that you better hope that he pays your medical bills because one way or the other I’m going to move you out of my way. So you go and enjoy your time without the assistance of an iron lung and feeling below your waist because at Helloween... It's all over. I know that you want so badly to become this legend, this hall of famer but the world will forget about you- I’ll make sure of that. If Mr. Spit fifty, Doc Henry can nearly end your career- I figure I got a pretty good chance too. Think of it like a one in one shot of you not making it out of the Pay Per View. You’ll be my whipping boy, the example to be made of in case Seth wants to send another has been goon or would be hero into the ring with me to try and keep down something that’s beyond his comprehension. All this out there, is beyond you. All this in the ring, it's above you.
After Helloween, when I cut your puppet strings and Seth’s got no one left to stand between us- he’ll know that his time here is over. He’ll know it's over when he sees his rising confederate fall to Odin Balfore. So consider this your last night of physical and mental freedom because next week, you’re all mine and you have Seth Lerch to thank for it. As for Seth, this is your last week as the proud owner because I’m taking the title and the company back- time to take a few steps forward, not backwards. I will get my title back and I will see it through the new year. Both of you are on borrowed time, time borrowed from me and now I’m here to collect. Next week WCF goes back to how it should be, looking to the future with the most dominant star in its history.. Period.. So I have spoken, so it shall come to pass..
“With Oden on our Side“ hits the PA again as Odin Balfore drops the mic and we head to commercial.
We come back from commercial with a shot of El Mideo Extremo already standing in the ring, waiting for his partner. An instrumental of the starting chorus to Eminem's Not Afraid starts to play over the PA system as the lights fade putting the arena into total darkness. Just as the chorus would end there is a bang as the lights turn back on full blast and a cloud of smoke is on the entrance way with a figure standing within it. The chorus starts up once more but this time with the lyrics included is none other then Kaylyn Evans who steps out from within the smokey patch on the stage.
Shannan Lerch: What a doozy of a match we have coming up for you ladies and gentlemen. The number one contender for the Hardcore Championship at Helloween, Aaron Miles, facing off against two of the five people he defeated last week to win that right.
Zach Davis (muttering to himself): Only in WCF...
As the chorus was being heard throughout the crowd a smiling Kaylyn Evans was on her way down the ramp with a stride that showed nothing but confidence in herself no matter what the outcome of today's event's would be. Dressed in a blue pair of paints that tied up along each hip baring skin here and there as the sheer material along her legs showed that tan toned skin beneath it. Her torso was completely bare and her assets were pushed up perfectly with that blue and gold outlined shirt with sheer along her shoulders stopping just at the tops of her arms. A blue head band with a gold stitching in the front completed the look along with those blue heels giving her that Jasmine look. Reaching the bottom of the ramp way Kaylyn stops and turns to the right heading around the ring and towards the far steps to ascend them and make her way onto the apron. Crossing the apron she stands there looking out at the fans. Hooking her arms on the top rope, in perfect Kaylyn fashion, she flipped back over the top rope and into the ring where she made her way around the ring looking out at all the fans in the arena, booing and not. As the music would cut Kaylyn would be focused and ready for what was to come.
Zach Davis: Kaylyn and El Mideo Extremo have really started to fall into hard times the past few weeks. You have to feel like they're looking at tonight as the night that they turn it around.
Shannan Lerch: But that will be no easy feat as they have to get through "The Epitome Of Cool".
"I Am The Cool" by Screamin Jay Hawkins begins to play over the arena's speakers.
Zach Davis: And speaking of your lover boy, here he comes now.
The song continues to play but Aaron Miles is nowhere to be seen. The music fades out as both Kaylyn and Extremo seem perplexed.
Shannan Lerch: Well this is...
"I Am The Cool" hits the speakers again and again the crowd explodes with a massive pop. Kaylyn and Extremo ready themselves in anticipation.
Zach Davis: He probably locked himself in his dressing room out of fear of this match.
Suddenly Miles appears from out of nowhere, sliding in underneath the bottom rope behind Kaylyn and Extremo.
Shannan Lerch: Miles is here!
Evans spins around and Miles nails her in the chin with The Cool Shot. Evans drops to the mat in a heap as Extremo too spins around. Miles snaps off another superkick but Extremo ducks it. Extremo tries for a clothesline but Miles ducks it then hits a Pele kick that drops Extremo. The referee, realizing that this madness is never going to stop, signals for the bell to start this match.
Zach Davis: And there's the bell. Let's point out that this match is not only a handicap match, but it's being contested under Hardcore Rules. So there doesn't have to be any tags on Kaylyn or Extremo's end.
Miles springs up to his feet and waits patiently as Extremo rolls onto his stomach and pushes himself to his feet. Miles then grabs him from behind and drops him face first to the mat with a Full Nelson Facebuster.
Shannan Lerch: And Aaron Miles is simply on fire.
Miles rolls out of the ring and lifts up the ring apron before pulling a table out and sliding it under the bottom rope. He goes to slide back in when the crowd lets loose with a "We Want Ladders" chant. More than happy to oblige, Miles pulls a ladder out from under the ring and slides it too under the bottom rope. Back inside of the ring Evans is staggering to her feet as she tries to regroup from the superkick to the jaw. Miles leaps up onto the apron and springboards off the top rope with a dragonrana that sends her flying. With both opponents down, Miles sets up the table.
Shannan Lerch: Aaron looking to prove to the world that he can get Hardcore when he needs to be.
Miles pulls Extremo to his feet and lays him across the table. He then does the same with Kaylyn before heading for the corner and leaping up to the top turnbuckle.
Aaron Miles: DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE THIS COOL?
Miles then leaps off with a Top Rope Elbow Drop onto both Kaylyn and Extremo, sending both crashing through the table. Miles rolls off to the side clutching his ribs as the crowd goes nuts.
Zach Davis: Listen to these marks cheering for this loser. Why can't they understand that he's nothing more than a spot monkey?
Shannan Lerch: Say what you will about Miles all you want, but this crowd loves him.
Miles pushes himself up to his feet and goes for the cover.
Crowd: LADDER! LADDER! LADDER!
Miles looks around at the crowd, shrugs his shoulders and then heads for the ladder. He climbs all the way up to the top and balances himself on the top. He then places his hands behind his back and closes his eyes.
Shannan Lerch:...No. Don't do it Miles!
Miles leaps off with the Look Ma, No Hands! and connects on Evans. He looks to be knocked unconscious but luckily his arm landed across Kaylyn's chest. The referee drops for the three count.
And the crowd explodes as "I Am The Cool" blasts over the speakers. The referee helps Aaron to his feet and has to hold him up to keep him from collapsing.
Shannan Lerch: AND HE'S DONE IT AGAIN! AARON MILES HAS OVERCOME THE ODDS ONCE AGAIN!
Zach Davis: Fluke.
The referee helps him to the ropes where medics help him to the floor and walk him up the ramp.
Shannan Lerch: That was no fluke Zach, that was what happens when you doubt The Epitome Of Cool.
Zach Davis: Well he doesn't look so cool at the moment. He can barely even stand up.
Shannan Lerch: Some day you'll understand Zach. Some day.
The show fades to commercial as Aaron is helped through the curtain.
Dark pink lights start flashing as Crass' "So What" begins to play, as Vic comes meandering down the ramp, patronizing the audience, mocking every person he can, almost getting into an altercation with one member, had the security barrier not been in place.
Zach Davis: Here's Vic, a guy that needs this match to end in victory for him... and hopefully doesn't get his ass kicked by a girl again.
The lights immediately go out now inside the arena. The beginning of the "Duke Nukem Theme" though plays by Megadeth. Everybody officially goes ape crazy, because some know who it is (who boo), and the rest...well, they like when lights go out (they cheer). They think it's cool, you know. Then... "Born of a Broken Man" by Rage Against the Machine theme kicks on the PA system as white smoke fills the entrance ramp. It's to the point where the white spotlights are strobing to the beat of the song. Out of the entrance, with the strobelights are going mad as out from the white smoke, is Jay Williams, his wife Amy in tow, hoodie on over his ring gear as he gives off a wicked smile to the crowd, walking slowly to the ring. He runs up the ring steps now and perches himself on top of the nearest turnbuckle, like a hawk ready to strike, as he unzips his hoodie. He keeps smiling to the crowd as he takes the time to sit on the top turnbuckle, looking at whoever's in the ring with him as he takes off his hoodie, setting it near Amy and throwing his shirt into the crowd for a lucky fan, as he jumps off, and unlatches his belt, ready to game on.
Shannan Lerch: Jay Williams, headed toward another match with Brad Kane...
Speak of the goddamn devil, here comes Brad Kane through the audience! He hops the barricade and slides into the ring, tackling Jay Williams to the mat. Vic doesn't really know what to think, looking around for a possible Hope Dudley attack. Wisely, Vic bails to the back. The ref is trying to pull Kane and Williams apart, but they both shove him off. They're really going at one another.
Zach Davis: Brad Kane and Jay Williams will not let up!
Brad finally gets the advantage, hitting a big elbow. He puts Jay on the top rope and lays him back so that Jay's lower regions are prime for the attack. Brad takes a few steps back and delivers a big dropkick...
...that misses! Jay Williams rolled off the top to the apron and then floor just in time, and Kane kicks nothing but turnbuckle pad. Jay scampers off to the back, leaving Brad Kane in the ring with the ref.
Shannan Lerch: Brad Kane has ruined this match... and Jay Williams barely escapes with his sexual organ! We'll be right back.
Suddenly, hundreds of balloons begin to drift down into the ring as “GreasePaint and Monkey Brains” by White Zombie squawks through the speakersystem. The lights flicker to a momentary darkness. Just as the song kicks into gear, the lights blare back on - revealing Switches glaring down from a top turnbuckle.
Zach Davis: And there he is -- Switches the Clown!
Shannan Lerch: Switches has made a name for himself over the last few weeks due to his outlandish persona but he has yet to taste victory inside of the WCF ring.
Zach Davis: Shannan, I have smoked crack cocaine with this young man and I can tell you that he has a good head on his shoulders. The victories will come, he just has to work at improving his wrestling abilities. He has raw talent--
Shannan Lerch: Oh without a doubt. He can do things that few humans can... The GiggleBox for example, which is a version of the Blanka Roll.
Zach Davis: Exactly! Street Fighter II enthusiasts have idolized that move for years, but how many can emulate it inside of the squared circle? Switches can, but he needs to round out his skills to complement his raw athletic ability.
The words "My Name is Lawnmower Jones, and I Love to Mow!" are heard across the arena. Scottish bagpipes are heard around the arena, as a motor starting and a lawnmower mowing is heard. Lawnmower Jones walks out from the back. On his way to the ring, Jones refuses to touch any of the fans, and sneers at them. He rolls into the ring and pretends to push a lawnmower, flexing, posing, taunting. He goes to a corner and stretches, waiting for the match to begin.
Zach Davis: Here is Lawnmower Jones, fresh off his arrest for assaulting a Sears employee.
Shannan Lerch: Well deserved if you ask me. No man should ever insult another man's fetish. That's just asking for trouble. Nonetheless, Jones is here live and in color--
Zach Davis: He actually appears luminous tonight, doesn't he?
Shannan Lerch: I think you smoked too much of that crack with Switches, but yeah... OK. Whatever you say, bro.
Zach Davis: Switches and Jones will be partners tonight but they will not be partners one week from tonight.
Shannan Lerch: No, ma'am. They will be squaring off for the purposes of combat in one week at Helloween. The question is, can they co-exist at all tonight in the wake of all the criminality that has transpired between the two?
Zach Davis: Criminality or animosity, Shannan?
Shannan Lerch: Criminality, Zach. It is a crime to break my heart and that is exactly what these two men have done by squaring off against each other. They are both incredible young superstars with so much to offer this company but they insist upon ripping each other apart for the sake of bloodshed. It tears me apart inside.
Zach Davis: As Joy Division said, love will tear us apart.
Shannan Lerch: Don't get smart with me, Zach.
Zach Davis: Yes, ma'am.
“With Oden On Our Side” hits the PA system. The arena grows dark as the fans get to their feet to catch a glimpse of the stage.The fans stand and cheer and once the vocals start, the arena lights flash back on and there stands Odin Balfore and Ryan Blake, center stage. Odin stares down at the ring with a sinister grin as Blake basks in his arrogance, with his arms up high, inciting the fans to feed his ego and sing along with the chorus.
Crowd: Futile to resist! You know we have come! Futile to resist... the battle is.. already won!
Crowd: Futile to resist! You know we have come! Futile to resist... the battle is.. already won!
The fans pop insanely right after as The Alliance begins to walk down the ramp at a slow and methodical pace. Odin steps onto the apron and over the ropes as Blake climbs up on the buckle and looks around the Arena.
Crowd: Futile to resist! You know we have come! Futile to resist...
Odin cuts off the fans as he raises his fist in triumph. Blake extends his arms wide open again as he tilts his head backwards causing the fans to continue the song.
Crowd: The battle is.. already won!
Zach Davis: Yes! Yes! The battle is already won!
Shannan Lerch: Sit down, Zach! You look like an imbecile!
Zach Davis: I'm sorry but I love this song! Amon Amarth is my shit!
Shannan Lerch: You're not the only one who's buying into what the Alliance is cooking, Zach. Despite absorbing the loss of mystical former Hardcore Champion Phillip Baines to the lure of Hollywood, the Alliance has moved forward without skipping a beat. Odin and Blake defeated the impressive duo of Johnny Reb and D-Day last week and they look to destroy two more opponents this week as Odin prepares for his World Title clash with Reb one week from tonight at Helloween.
Zach Davis: And it will be epic, as Ry-Ry Blake would say.
Shannan Lerch: Ry-Ry? Get off his cock, Zach.
Zach Davis: I can't help it. I'm hooked on cock, Shannan. Figuratively speaking.
Shannan Lerch: Uh-huh...
Zach Davis: A lot of people are looking at the Alliance as the de facto Tag Team Champions, what with FPV no longer part of the WCF payroll and Roy Speede working his religious missions along Africa's Diamond Coast, but I wouldn't count out Jones and Switches. Sure they hate each other, but these men have pride and they're tough as balls. Even the great Doc Henry wasn't immune from getting choked the fuck out by Jones last week, and how many times have we seen that man tap?
Shannan Lerch: Only when wife Mary has him trapped in her love gun, but even then Doc cums fifteen or thirty times before tapping... sometimes forty-five times.
Zach Davis: You seem to know a lot about the matter, Shannan.
Shannan Lerch: What can I say? I'm a woman with experience.
Newbie ref Chip Patton searches the members of both teams for weapons then orders the competitors to their respective corners. Blake opts to start the match for the Alliance, per the usual for their team. Jones and Switches have a harder time making a decision, as the plurality of clubbing blows between the two would indicate.
Zach Davis: Jones and Switches are going at it like the heated rivals that they are, but they're tag team partners and they need to get their heads in this match-up!
Shannan Lerch: Give n00b ref Chip Patton credit; he's doing his damnedest to separate Jones and Switches and prevent any further shenanigans! It doesn't hurt that Chip stands nearly seven feet tall and is built like a pro wrestling superstar in his own right!
Zach Davis: Chip has a Dolph Lundgren vibe, wouldn't you say?
Shannan Lerch: Dolph Lundgren mixed with his Rocky IV co-star Brigitte Nielsen. Damn she was a tough lady.
Chip finally gets Jones and Switches separated, and it will be Switches starting the match for their team. With Blake and Switches in the ring, and Odin and Jones on the apron, Chip Patton calls for the bell.
Switches snarls a bit as he moves forward to lock horns with Blake, and Blake flashes a cocky grin back at him. They lock up; Blake uses his grappling tact to gain the edge and attempts a hip toss. Switches blocks it with sheer brute and traps both of Blake's arms. Switches unloads a furious series of headbutts that clobber the photogenic Blake's cranium.
Zach Davis: Blake ain't gonna be so pretty after Switches gets done with him!
Shannan Lerch: Maybe not, Zach, but I'll be there to nurse him back to health when this is over. I am a loyal lady.
Blake appears dazed after eating his thirteenth or fourteenth headbutt from Switches. Still, Blake has that cocky grin plastered on his face. It must be genetic, engrained in his DNA. Switches releases the double arm trap and Blake stumbles back a bit. Switches gracefully cartwheels toward Blake and clobbers him with a kick to the face. Blake drops to the mat in a heap. Switches flips a double bird toward Jones, and Jones immediately tries to climb into the ring, with designs of getting himself a piece of his partner. Only the burly Chip Patton blocks Jones from entering the ring, but the distraction of the ref allows Odin to climb into the ring and drill Switches with his patented big boot.
Zach Davis: Big boot by Odin! If Switches had teeth before this match then he doesn't now!
Switches looks disoriented in a sprawled position on the mat after getting trucked by the Norse god and ruler of Asgard. Odin pounds his chest and lets out a mighty roar before returning to his place upon the ring apron.
Zach Davis: I think they felt that big boot all the way in Golgotha!
Shannan Lerch: Golgotha, as in the hill on which Jesus was crucified?
Zach Davis: Uh, yeah... yeah, sure.
Jones smirks as he sees his grease-painted foe writhe in pain on the mat. The ref turns his focus back to the action in the ring as Blake gets to his feet and lands some solid stomps on Switches. Blake drops down to the mat in a mounted position on top of Switches and unleashes some heavy Jon Jones style ground and pound, complete with 12-to-6 elbows.
Zach Davis: Furious ground and pound here by "The Hero" Ryan Blake! A lot of us tend to dismiss Blake as a pretty boy, but the man has some serious brawling ability. We saw him take Baines to the distance in their Hardcore Title match at Ultimate Showdown and he's piling it on Switches right here!
Blake finally relents in his pummeling action and gets to his feet, peering out at the fans in the crowd with a murderous sneer on his face.
Shannan Lerch: Goddamn that is one snuggly young man!
Blake sets Switches up and hits a snap suplex. Blake quickly returns to his feet and takes a place in the corner, as if measuring Switches for the Causality.
Zach Davis: Could Blake be trying to end this match early?! Switches is up... Blake moves in for the kill--No! Switches ducks the Causality and counters with a Flash Kick of his own! What a show of athleticism by the whacked out clown!
Odin stomps and snorts while spectating upon the apron, looking like a bull waiting to be released into a China shop. He barks at Blake to make the tag, but Blake is otherwise occupied as Switches quite literally strangles him in mid-ring.
Zach Davis: Illegal strangling tactics here by Switches! I can only presume that the late great John Wayne Gacy, who was a gifted grappler and clown fetishist in his own right, taught Switches this move!
Shannan Lerch: Chip Patton is calling for the break here--three, four, fi--and Switches does finally break the choke, but the damage has been done to Blake's trachea!
Lawnmower Jones: Thass not how yew choke a mahn! This how yew choke a mahn!
Jones climbs into the ring, shoves Switches out of the way, and promptly locks Blake in the Jonesmission. Jones sneers like a madman as he ragdolls Blake's body to and fro in his lethal submission hold. Odin has seen enough. The ref indicates that he will allow Odin to enter the ring in order to even the numbers, but Odin has already stepped over the top rope before Chip even grants him permission. Odin makes a beeline toward Switches and drops the clown with a massive strong-style head butt.
Zach Davis: When Odin headbutts you it must feel like your head is a watermelon hitting a sidewalk!
Switches does indeed drop to the mat in a heap, like the aforementioned watermelon hitting the sidewalk. Jones notices Odin's demonstrative actions and releases Blake from the Jonesmission. Jones shows no fear as he unloads on Odin with a whirlwind of punches.
Zach Davis: That snap, that crackle, that pop... it's like a bowl of Rice Crispies when the Scotsman throws his jab!
Shannan Lerch: And look at how he uses the jab to set up his combinations. Odin's body is reverberating as if it's being blasted by machine gun fire with each punch that lands from Jones. What a striking clinic by the Lawnmower Man!
Zach Davis: You know that Roy Jones, Jr. respects the hands of Lawnmower Jones!
Shannan Lerch: Is there any relation between the two Joneses?
Zach Davis: It is possible. LJ is said to have some chocolate thunder in his familial ancestry.
Shannan Lerch: I have seen his equipment during uncomfortable locker room confrontations and I can believe that.
Zach Davis: Doc Henry's lovely mocha latte wife Mary may have heard the same thing. It would explain why she exposed her TITAYS! to LJ last week.
Shannan Lerch: That was awesome, baby! To quote Dickie V.
Zach Davis: You're into that, Shannan?
Shannan Lerch: I'm certainly not opposed to it, Zachariah.
Shannan licks her lips as the drool hits her palette. Meanwhile, LJ winds up and connects with one last knockout blow on the big man Odin. Does it drop Odin? No. Does it stagger him? A little bit. Jones sneers at Odin as the big man collects himself... then before Jones can react, Odin charges and damn near takes Jones' head off with a big boot.
Zach Davis: Another big boot from Odin! Both members of the Jones/Switches tandem have tasted Odin's big boot!
Shannan Lerch: And look at Odin now--he's doing that dick swaggering strut that only the most confident of men can pull off.
Odin moseys on back to his corner, while Jones pulls up his remains and does the same, both men complying with the ref's instructions. Switches and Blake both come to on the mat and get to their feet. Blake is first to act, running at Switches and attempting an STO, but the clown counters with a nasty lariat that would make Stan Hansen proud. Blake's body flips before it hits the mat and then twitches a bit upon impacting the canvas. Switches pounces on Blake, but Blake alertly counters with a shoulder strike to the mid-section, then gets behind Switches and hits a sweeeeet release German suplex. Switches hits the mat head-first and his body spasms on the mat. Blake collects himself and crawls over to his corner to make the tag to Odin. Odin steps over the ropes and stands tall inside of the ring.
Zach Davis: It looks like Odin is refusing to pin Switches or even assail him. He's pointing at Jones and talking smack to him. Odin just pulled Switches up and shoved him into his corner of the ring! Odin is daring Jones to make the tag!
Shannan Lerch: Odin still wants payback for that Jonesmission that Jones locked him in a couple of weeks ago.
Zach Davis: I must say, I have never seen anyone look so comfortable in the Jonesmission as Odin did that night on Slam. Even the wayward psychopath that was Bobby Cairo circa 2007 fell victim to the Jonesmission back in the day.
Shannan Lerch: For a man Odin's size it must have felt like a grizzly bear getting a massage from a moose. Still, it distracted Odin long enough for Reb to grab the belt that Odin had stolen from him, and that infuriated the giant Norseman.
Jones grudgingly tags Switches' limp body... not because he's hesitant to face Odin, but because he enjoyed seeing Switches get dropped on his head.
Zach Davis: Lawnmower Jones is in this match and he's standing face-to-face with Odin Balfore, or face-to-chest as it were!
Jones wings a big ol' Scottish hamhock at Odin and connects with Balfore's jaw. The Norseman does not flinch, but he does counter with a thunderbolt of a right hand that lands flush on Jones' chin. Jones grins and unloads on Odin as he did earlier and Odin counters with his own furious flurry of punches.
Zach Davis: We have a bar room brawl in the middle of the ring between Lawnmower Jones and Odin Balfore! All they need are some bar stools and beer bottles to smash over each others heads!
Shannan Lerch: Odin just went European with an uppercut! And Jones responds in kind! He is a European after all, it figures that he would have that in his arsenal!
Odin sneers at Jones and spins him around. Odin lifts Jones sky high and then plants the Lawnmower Man's buttocks onto his knee with violent rancor.
Zach Davis: What an atomic drop by the former World Champion! Jones' tailbone could be fractured after that impact!
Shannan Lerch: Jones is a big man in his own right, but when Odin lifts you up he takes you for a ride like Space Mountain takes you for a ride!
Jones lets out a bellow as he grips at his backside. Odin shows good agility for a man his size as he gets a running start and shoots himself off the ropes toward Jones. Jones shakes off the pain and alertly counters with a spear that drives Odin to the mat. Blake comes into the ring to get him some and he eats a spear of his own from Jones.
Zach Davis: Lawnmower Jones is on fire! He just took out both members of the Alliance with spears!
Jones gets to his feet and pounds his chest like the Scottish wildman that he is. Switches takes exception to Jones' showboating; He climbs into the ring and gets into Jones' face.
Zach Davis: It looks like Odin and Blake aren't the only ones that Jones has to worry about in this match! Jones and Switches are face-to-face talking trash and this situation looks like it could explode at any moment!
Jones and Switches are both nodding their heads and grinning with their eyes bugging out of their heads. As the tension in the air reaches a fever pitch, Switches catches Jones off-guard with a knee right to the balls. Jones lets out a howl and drops to his knees.
Zach Davis: Jones' massive slab of Scottish manhood is his own worst enemy right now! He's feeling double and triple the pain that a man with a smaller unit would feel!
Switches flashes an evil smile and then cackles sadistically as the crowd responds to his actions with a loud but mixed reaction. Switches busts out his robot dance and he instantly has the crowd eating from the palm of his hand.
Zach Davis: Look at Switches go! Ian Curtis would be proud!
Shannan Lerch: Two Joy Division references in one match? Really, homie?
Switches ceases his little dance and then climbs out to the apron. Switches waits for Jones to get to his feet and then springboards off the top rope and hits Jones with The GiggleBox!!!
Zach Davis: A friendly, sporting knee to the balls is one thing, but Switches is busting out his big moves here against his tag team partner!
Shannan Lerch: The ref is in Switches' face, but Switches is stating that its within his rights to attack his partner if he so chooses! I haven't brushed up on the rulebook in recent times, but it doesn't look like referee Chip Patton is buying into what Switches is saying!
Zach Davis: Uh-oh... Odin Balfore and Ryan Blake are back to their feet! Odin walks over to Switches, who looks like he's ready for anything... and Odin extends his hand to Switches! They shake hands! Switches turns to Blake and they shake hands too! Do we have an impromptu alliance here between the Alliance and Switches the Clown?!
Shannan Lerch: Chip doesn't look too happy about any of this! He's trying to exert his authority and restore order to this match!
Odin calls out to Blake for a ref bump. The ref does a double take before turning to Blake.
Chip Patton: Did he just say what I think he--
Before Chip can finish his sentence he gets chop blocked from behind by Odin and eats a Causality from Blake. With the ref sprawled on the mat, Odin gives a big man thunder god clap for a job well done by his protege Blake. Odin then turns to Switches and signals for him to climb out of the ring with he and Blake.
Zach Davis: What's going on here? The Alliance is rummaging around under the ring...
Crowd: WE WANT TABLES!!! <clap-clap!!> <clap-clap!!-clap!!> WE WANT TABLES!!! <clap-clap!!> <clap-clap!!-clap!!> WE WANT TABLES!!! <clap-clap!!> <clap-clap!!-clap!!>
Odin and Blake do indeed pull a table out from under the ring... the ramshackle, dime-store coffee table that was featured in their promo earlier in the week.
Zach Davis: That is one... rickety ass table. They DID NOT get that at IKEA, as our friend Bobby Cairo had encouraged them to do.
Shannan Lerch: No shit. At least they finally figured out how to put it together.
With Switches' help, Odin and Blake set up the table in the ring. This table is underwhelming with its shoddy-looking and probably diseased wood, uneven legs, with one side standing several inches taller than the other, and mismatched coatings of paint, one black and the other green. Although in fairness the green could be some kind of fungus.
Zach Davis: Blake pulls Jones up to his feet now and I'm not sure what Jones can do to get out of this spot. His own tag team partner has knifed him in the back, and the ref is down for the count.
Shannan Lerch: Oh no... Blake is setting Jones up in the wheelbarrow suplex position, and we know what that means!
With Jones in the suplex position, Odin runs at Jones and hits a big boot, adding to Blake's momentum as he carries through and hits a devastating wheelbarrow-plex on Jones.
Zach Davis: Greetings From Fort Suma! Now that's it! That's enough! This is a numbers game and you've got the edge! Just end this!
Shannan Lerch: It looks like Odin is about to do just that! He's setting Jones up for what looks to be a powerbomb, and they're right in front of that rickety ass table!
Odin lifts Jones high into the air and drops him through the table with a devastating jackknife powerbomb.
Zach Davis: Mark Of Odin!
Odin raises his fist triumphantly into the air while half of the crowd chants his name and the other half chants "Asshole!" Odin nods his head knowingly. Odin turns to Switches and offers him another handshake, as if thanking the clown for his help, but Odin feigns the handshake and lands a stiff boot to Switches' mid-section.
Zach Davis: What the hell?! Odin is setting up Switches for a powerbomb now! He just stabbed Switches in the back!
Shannan Lerch: There is no honor among thieves, Zach. No goddamned honor at all.
Shannan shakes her head in a bout of moral indignation while Odin lifts Switches sky-high and plants him with a vicious Mark Of Odin of his own, right on top of Jones. Switches' body awkwardly slides off of Jones', and both men lie on the mat as barely conscious lumps of flesh. The ref comes to on the mat, having observed the illegal acts of The Alliance and he calls for the bell.
Zach Davis: Referee Chip Patton is disqualifying The Alliance!
Shannan Lerch: I don't think Odin and Blake give a damn about that, Zach! Ooh! Odin just trucked Chip with a running big boot and then tossed him from the ring! Maybe he does care after all!
Odin places one big boot on Jones' chest and Blake does the same on Switches. Both men strike triumphant poses as “With Oden On Our Side” hits the PA system once again.
Zach Davis: Jones and Switches get the DQ victory, but The Alliance has made a statement tonight as Odin Balfore prepares to do battle with Johnny Reb for the World Title in one week's time at Helloween!
Shannan Lerch: Balfore is a scary man! Reb is great... but can he withstand the challenge of this Norse wrecking machine!?
Shannan Lerch: I understand we have Hank Brown standing backstage....
The cameraview changes, to the backstage area. Hank Brown is standing alone.
Zach Davis: Hank, what is the situation backstage?
Hank Brown: Well, I thought I would be standing here, doing an interview. But, as you can see, I'm standing here alone.
Shannan Lerch: Well, if there is no interview to be......
Lights for The Arena begin to flicker rapidly. The lighting, for the backstage begins to flicker to almost a strobe effect. Thunderous female like screams echo backstage.
Zach Davis: Hank, what is going on, back there?!
The cameraview begins to shake as the lighting begins to get brighter, then...... WHAM-POP!!! The lights go out, as The Arena's emergency lights come on. Hysterical evil laughter begins to echo around backstage. It's even heard ringside. The fans begin to act concerned. The children are huddled to the adults. As shallow howling, with the continuous laughter continues, the chaotic scene that is the backstage area....BEGINS. While backstage, chaos continues to have a strangle hold on the backstage area. The more chaos happens, the more The Vixen seem to get aroused. They are huddled into a corner in their own personal clusterf*ck!! Everyone else is too busy to notice, as they run for their lives.
As everyone begins to scatter, numerous members of The Gathering begin to scatter everywhere chasing everyone. The Gathering are covered in a blood-like substance. They are carrying miniature chainsaws, chasing everyone near them. Some, of The Gathering, are dragging behind them 4 foot figures wearing penguin suits, that apparently have their bellies sewn on. Their bellies are actually secret compartments, for their own pets. The penguins are called Preenies.
Folklore states that these "preenies' are inhabited by evil souls. The red Preenies are demon souls, while the black colored Preenies are just past criminals who committed heinous abominations such as rape, murder, and suicide. They are heard screaming out.... "Du-u-u-ude!" As The Gathering keeps running, their Preenies are digging in their pouches. They pull out stuffed animals. Once the plush stuffed animals are pulled out, they begin to transform into snarling, foaming hand to air arsenal. The backstage help are running for their lives as The Gathering and The Preenies are chasing after them. Small explosions are heard. When The Preenies toss their small stuffed creatures, which are called Munchies, once they make impact with anything, they make a small explosion.
All kinds of Hell is being made backstage. Smoke and small amount of fire are seen. Through the chaos and mayhem walks in the WCF Hardcore Champion Oblivion. The crowd has been watching the entire thing on the large Titan tron screen. Most, of the crowd cheer when they see Oblivion. Oblivion walks up to Hank Brown, who apparently is NOT to pleased to see Oblivion.
Hank Brown: Oblivion, you should have more control of your "children."
Oblivion grabs a hold of Hank Brown and says...
Oblivion: You, Hank Brown you should know better than to talk to me, in that tone. So, Oblivion suggests you step back and check yourself, before anything else happens to you. In fact, Gathering deal with this pain in the ass!!
The Gathering quickly approach, as they begin to shake their Munchies. They do have a mode where they can be thrown with exploding, but The Munchies DO bite, apparently that's what happens when The Munchies get thrown in Hank Brown's direction....
Hank Brown: OW!! STOP IT!! GET THESE CREATURES OFF ME!! WHAT ARE THESE!! OW!! HELP!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!
Hank Brown collapses as The Munchies just slowly and playfully gnaw on Hank Brown. Oblivion picks up the dropped mic and begins to speak!!
Oblivion: Oblivion controls chaos. Your God of Insanity controls the mayhem!! Oblivion is Hardcore!! That is why IT is the WCF Hardcore Champion and at Helloween, that dumb-ass dipsh*t Aaron Miles is gonna find out Oblivion's definition of Hardcore!! Now, tonight Brad Kane. You have this legend aura about you. But, tonight, you will end up looking like nothing, but a CHUMP!! That's right a chump!! A bitch!! Oblivion is gonna prove why IT is the true Hardcore Icon in this company!!
Oblivion looks around before finishing up IT's sentence....
Oblivion: Welcome to your nightmare.....
The Gathering with their Preenies, who are holding up their Munchies, run up close, to the camera and scream out, with the crowd.....
The Gathering/ The Crowd: BII-ITCHEE-E-ESS-SS!!
The Gathering tugs on their chains, as The Preenies toss their Munchies. Several different plush animals come screamin, snarling, and foamin as they land on the camera, chattering in a high pitch....
The Munchies: GNA!! GNA!! GNA!! BOOM!! WHA-HA-HA-HA!!
The Munchies scatter as Oblivion gets real close to the camera....
Oblivion: See you, in the ring, Brad Kane!!
The camera perspective changes back to the commentary table...
Zach Davis: I don't have a thing to say about that.
Shannan Lerch: Whoa.
Seth Lerch is sitting at his desk, when a knock comes to his door.
Seth Lerch: One second!
As Seth is busy rapidly punching buttons on his keyboard the door flings open from being kicked in.
Doc strolls in the door.
Doc Henry: For fuck's sakes Lerch, didn't anyone tell you not to spank it to midget tranny porn at work?
Seth Lerch finishes buttoning up and looks at his intruder.
Seth Lerch: You owe me a new door, Henry. What do you want?
Doc Henry pulls a roll of hundred dollar bills out of his pocket and drops five on Seth's desk.
Doc Henry: Keep the change, ya filthy animal.
Doc Henry: I'm here on business. You see, the record books are wrong. Last week on Slam I did not submit.
Seth Lerch: But we have the video evidence of you tappin...
Doc Henry: Seth, you don't understand, I was using my diplomatic position to call the match, so as not to endanger the health of those involved. Now, I'm not telling you the team of Keeton and Jones should have the win stripped, that would be selfish and wrong. What I am asking is that the books be corrected to show what actually happened. That the match was called, and they won by 'judge's decision'.
Seth Lerch: Doc, I can't do that. What happened, happened and there is no changing it.
Doc Henry: You're right, but we aren't changing what happened, we are correcting a clerical error.
Doc sets a duffel bag on Seth's desk with a thud.
Doc Henry: Lerch, in this bag are the legal papers that give you the power to do just that.
Seth opens the duffel bag to reveal it to be full of stacks of $100 bills.
Seth Lerch: Holy shit, how much is in here?
Doc Henry: $3.4 Million, and it's all the legality you need. It is your company afterall.
Seth's eyes go wide.
Seth Lerch: I'll make sure that error has been fixed...
Doc smiles and turns to leave the office as Lerch starts counting the money. Stopping half way out of the door, Doc turns back to Seth.
Doc Henry: You realize now that this means I own you...
As Seth's face drains of color, Doc's maniacal laughter can be heard as the camera fades...
The house lights dim, and the intro to Lynnyrd Skynnyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" hits the speakers. Hushed anticipation falls over the crowd as a spotlight illuminates the stage. Johnny Reb steps out from behind the curtain, the World Title slung over his shoulder. A cheer goes up from the audience at his appearance. As the he walks down the ramp, a cascade of sparks rains down on the stage. The Inveterate Confederate circles the ring, slapping hands with the fans at ringside. Johnny eschews the steps completely; he leaps onto the ring apron and climbs the turnbuckles, perching there with his title belt raised high overhead.
The lights in the stadium dim to pitch black Bulletproof by 12 Stones blares in the speakers with lights swinging around the stadium lighting up the darkness from the dimmed lights. In cue with the music, pyros of red, white and blue go off when the sound of BANG!!! from Bulletproof. The pyros continue to go off on cue with the word being said. After the third pyro goes off the lights focus on the entrance of the stage where Donald Deruty is standing with his head tilted down. He falls to his knees and throws his hands up in the air where a final set of multi-colored pyros is fired. At the signal of the final pyros the dimmed lights turn back on and light the whole stadium with red, white, and blue lights. D-Day jumps to his feet as soon as the lights are back on. He takes his time walking down the ramp, as he gives high fives and shakes the hands of the fans. Once he reaches ringside he slowly walks up to the steel steps where he goes one step at a time until he reaches the ropes where he enters the ring with a swaggery hop to his walk. He looks up at the titantron where the sights of his memorial moments in his WCF career can be seen.
Zach Davis: Here is D-Day and the World Champion, Johnny Reb!
As the drums hit the house lights fade, and red and blue lights strobe. At "Please allow me to introduce myself", Doc and Mary walk out onto the stage, and look back and forth over the audience. As the crowd boos, the make their way to the ring, where Doc rolls in. Standing, he grins proudly as he pops the crowd drawing more boos. Mocking them, he sits on the turnbuckle.
“Under and Over It” by Five Finger Death Punch begins to play, which brings Jake Keeton through the curtains. He methodically walks to the ring never giving a second glance to the horde of booing fans. “The All-American Nightmare” pops his neck from side to side and prepares as the song finishes.
Shannan Lerch: And Doc Henry and Jake Keeton. These two will both be competing for the TV Title a week from now at Helloween.
The bell sounds. Reb starts the match for his team, and Keeton for his. The two circle and tie up.
Zach Davis: These are two world class athletes. Keeton hasn't yet seen the success that Reb has, but that could begin to change very soon. Especially with Keeton's new attitude.
Keeton takes control early, forcing Reb into the corner. The ref tells him to back off, which he does.. before slapping Reb in the face.
Shannan Lerch: New attitude, indeed!
Reb bursts out of the corner, but Keeton catches him and hits a Tiltawhirl Backbreaker. He then stomps on him repeatedly before tagging in Henry.
Zach Davis: These two working together well so far.. Keeton said earlier this week that he wouldn't be tagging into this match, but he does clearly want the win over the Champion.
Henry gets in and the two men both begin stomping on Reb. Which, of course, brings in D-Day. Day runs at Keeton and Clotheslines him over the top rope, sending both men sprawling to the floor on the outside. Henry backs up and waits for Reb to stumble to his feet, and once he's up Henry runs at him and Spears him down! He pins him. One, two.. kickout.
Shannan Lerch: As the New Confederacy, Reb and Henry could take on anyone, they were best friends.. seeing them like this is still such a shame.
Henry then begins climbing to the top rope, going high risk. He flies off with an Elbow Drop, but Reb rolls out of the way!
Zach Davis: This is Reb's opportunity!
Reb turns to tag in D-Day, but Day and Keeton are still brawling on the floor. Reb begins getting to his feet, but Henry is up before he is. Henry goes for a Spinning Heel Kick, but Reb catches it and shoves him away. Henry gets back up and runs at Reb but Reb kicks him in the gut and hits a Facebreaker DDT!
Shannan Lerch: There we go, can Reb continue to capitalize?
As Henry stumbles up, Reb runs to the ropes, Springboards, and hits a Bulldog! He then quickly pins Henry. One.. two.. no, a kickout. Finally, Day and Keeton have both made it back to their respective corners. Reb tags in Day.
Zach Davis: Here comes one of the only men in history to have defeated Torture.
Day picks Henry up but Henry pokes him in the eye, sending him reeling. Henry then follows up with a Chop Block!
Shannan Lerch: That dastardly bastard!
Henry tags in Keeton. The All American Nightmare enters the ring and positions himself behind Day.. then hits a Release Tiger Suplex!
Zach Davis: OOF! This could be it!
Keeton pins Day!
No! Day kicks out at the last second!
Shannan Lerch: Almost had him!
Keeton heads to the corner and hits the Thrillbilly Deluxe!
Zach Davis: THIS could be it-
But no, Day gets his knees up, and Keeton crashes into them! Keeton rolls away, holding his back, and Day lunges and tags Reb back in!
Shannan Lerch: Here comes the Champ!
Henry enters the ring and is met with a Springboard Dropkick for his trouble, sending him right back up. As Keeton is working his way to his feet, Reb jumps to the top.
Zach Davis: He's going for the Saturday Night Special!
Indeed, Reb flies off the top!, but Keeton quickly sidesteps him. Reb lands and Keeton quickly catches him with the Silent Nightmare!
Shannan Lerch: Silent Nightmare out of nowhere! Keeton has the Champ!
Keeton pins Reb, hooking his leg.
NO! Reb kicks out!
Zach Davis: So close! This tag bout has been really active. What the Hell?!?!
The crowd cheers as The Gathering appears to be crawling from under the ring, near the entrance way. The referee notices and tries to converse with the maniacal creatures. The crowd cheers explode louder, as Oblivion appears from the other side, from under the ring. Oblivion jumps up to the ring apron and shakes the ropes. Some of The Gathering jump to the ring apron too, which has the referee confused.
Shannan Lerch: Aw... crap!! Here comes The Vixen!!
The Vixen comes slithering up in their very VERY skimpy outfits. They begin to make sexual advances to the referee. Now, the referee is completely confused and very busy trying to maintain order. Oblivion checks and waits.
Zach Davis: What is that maniac gonna do??
Oblivion slips into the ring and Jake Keeton turns around....
The crowd cheers!!
Shannan Lerch: CHECK OUT TIME!! GOD DAMN!! I have missed Oblivion!!
D-Day sees that and comes charging at Oblivion.... SWOO-OOP-WHAM!!
Zach Davis: 5150!!!
Johnny Reb turns around and sees Oblivion. The crowd is at a hush and a standstill. Oblivion just sneers at Reb. Doc Henry turns around and both him and Oblivion smile as they embrace, then shake hands. The Gathering and Vixen see that handshake, they knew it was time to scatter. Oblivion leaps out of the ring and crawls back under the ring, when the referee turns around and sees D-Day and Jake Keeton, laying motionless, on the mat.
Zach Davis: What the Hell just happened?!?!
Shannan Lerch: Oblivion!! Oblivion just happened!! God, I love this place!!!
The crowd is going completely unhinged and screaming....
Crowd: OBLIVION!! OBLIVION!! OBLIVION!! OBLIVION!
Keeton has the presence of mind to throw his arm overtop of D-Day. The ref, not knowing what else to do, makes the count.
Shannan Lerch: Amidst all this confusion, the ref didn't realize that Day isn't even the legal man.
The bell sounds.
Zach Davis: Shannan, I have no idea what prompted this attack, quite frankly. A random act of violence? All I know is, one of these days, Oblivion is going to have hell to pay.
The scene cuts to backstage, where Roy Speede is in his locker room with his leg in a cast. He is laying on the couch watching Burn Notice, and there is a knock at his door.
Roy Speede: Come in!
The door opens, and Vic appears in the doorway. He steps in and closes the door behind him, and approaches Roy.
Vic: You wanted to talk to me?
Roy Speede: Yeah, man. I need to pass the torch on to someone to take my place in the triple threat for the TV Championship at Helloween, because well... Torn ACL, torn MCL... I'm gonna be out a while man.
Vic: So you're giving me that shot?
Roy Speede: Yeah. You take that shot and run with it. Bring home the gold kid. Good luck.
The two shake hands, and the camera cuts back to the ring.
Zach Davis: Now, we come up to the Main Event of the evening.
Shannan Lerch: Brad Kane will face Jay Williams and Oblivion will defend IT's Hardcore Championship against Aaron Miles at Helloween.
Zach Davis: Both Brad Kane and Oblivion are former WCF World Champions.
Shannan Lerch: This match has everyone talking. It should be a very interesting match.
Zach Davis: Very interesting, indeed.
The house lights go out in the arena as the opening of "Gangsta's Paradise" by In Fear and Faith flares up.
Shannan Lerch: Here comes Brad Kane.
Strobe lights begin to go insane when the vocals blare out of the sound system as Brad Kane appears in the entry way. The crowd is mixed seeing him as Brad inhales before he makes his way down the ring. A few hands get slapped away as once Brad is at ringside, he hops up on the ring apron. The lights are back to normal as they enter the ring as he heads to the nearest turnbuckle and goes up to the middle buckle. Some take pictures as he steps down, inhaling once more as he does the same thing on the other side of the ring. He then backs into the corner as he then waits for the match to begin as his entrance song fades off.
Zach Davis: Now, all we have to do is wait for the Hardcore Champion.
The lights go out. Oblivion by Mastodon begins to play, as the thunderous combination of the guitars, bass, and drums explode through the arena's speakers.
Shannan Lerch: Oblivion is an absolute monster. I forgot how enormous Oblivion was.
I flew beyond the sun before it was time
Falling from grace cause I've been away too long
There are a mixture of cheers and boos, more cheers than boos. The crowd stands onto their feet and rush towards the security railings. Oblivion slowly slinks out to the entrance stage, low to the ground. The WCF Arena explodes with cheers and some boos. Oblivion has it's arms extended outward, with it's index fingers pointing out. The Vixen are nearly undressed, as they come slithering out and walk next to Oblivion. The Vixen are dressed with bra-like bikini tops, with very short skirts. They have glitter plastered everywhere. Their makeup is smeared, but maintained to be very attractive. The guitar solo begins, lazers flash throughout the arena. Thunder-like sounds rattle the arena, as lighting strike-like sounds shake the foundation of the WCF Arena. The music continues to thrash as The Vixen are divided in two groups. As one group are twirling around with the insanity of the music, the other group of The Vixen are thrashing with the music. Their energy has the Arena going completely crazy!
Oblivion slowly stands up, with it's arms extended outward, and spins around. Oblivion, The Vixen, and The Gathering get to ringside. As IT pops IT's neck, Oblivion holds IT's arms outward. The Vixen rub their hands all over Oblivion's well sculpted abdominal muscles. A couple of girls begin to French kiss. The Gathering continues to slink around, tormenting the crowd, nearby. Oblivion proceeds to slide under the ring ropes and is walking over to a corner. The half naked women slide into the ring, in various sexual manners. Oblivion climbs up to the second turnbuckle and is raising IT's arms to a mostly cheering crowd. Oblivion jumps down and walks over to the center of the ring. The Gathering slithers away under the ring, with blood on their hands. Several thousand cameras flash throughout the arena, as Oblivion strikes a muscular pose, with The Vixen rubbing all over Oblivion. All of the women, of The Vixen, begin to kiss. The Gathering peak, from under the ring, as they begin to snarl and bark, while white foam drips out of their mouths.
NOW I'M LOST IN OBLIVION!!!
Zach Davis: Here we go-o-o!!!
Oblivion and Brad Kane circle the ring. Kane and Oblivion get ready to hook up, in the center of the ring, but Oblivion hits Kane with a clubbing European uppercut.
Oblivion slaps Kane's chest with a knife-edge chop.
Oblivion stomps Kane with a massive boot into his mid-section.
Zach Davis: Oblivion is hitting Brad Kane with a barrage of strikes. Kane tries to fight back, but The Monster, at the moment is too much to handle.
Oblivion grabs Kane and Irish whips him into a nearby corner. Brad hits the corner hard. Oblivion yells out and begins to charge towards Kane.
Shannan Lerch: If Oblivion collides into Brad Kane, this match is over.
The crowd cheers...
Zach Davis: Brad Kane moves out of the way!!
Brad Kane nails Oblivion with an enzuigiri. Oblivion drops to one knee.
Shannan Lerch: Brad nails Oblivion with a dropkick.
Oblivion falls back, but quickly gets to IT's feet. Oblivion stumbles back and leans into the corner. Kane charges....
Brad Kane: AHH-H-H-H-H!!!
Zach Davis: Brad Kane just connected with a Shining Wizard!!
Oblivion stumbles and drops to one knee, then falls face first to the mat. Oblivion repositions ITself, when Kane is seen climbing up the turnbuckles. The crowd's cheers have become deafening!!!
One half of the crowd: BRAD KANE!!
Other half of the crowd: NO!!!
One half of the crowd: BRAD KANE!!
Other half of the crowd: NO!!!
Brad Kane climbs up to the top turnbuckle and looks around. Kane smiles and proceeds to leap off the top turnbuckle. Kane flies off with his knees up to his chest.
Shannan Lerch: Here comes the double foot stomp!!
Brad flies into the air and lands.....
Shannan Lerch: OH-H... MY-Y... GOO-O-ODD-D!!
Zach Davis: IT'S CHECK OUT TIME!!
Oblivion nailed Brad Kane with a superkick!! Oblivion looks down at Brad Kane and smiles. Some, of the crowd, boos. Oblivion drags IT's right thumb across IT's throat.
Shannan Lerch: I think Oblivion has decided that this match is over!!
Oblivion picks up Brad Kane and places him on IT's massive shoulders.
Zach Davis: Oblivion is setting Brad Kane up for the 5150!!
As Brad lies on the shoulders of Oblivion, Kane begins to slam his left elbow, several times, into the hideous face of Oblivion. Brad Kane wiggles free. On his way down to the mat, Kane grabs Oblivion's arm....
Shannan Lerch: Cross armbreaker!!
Oblivion is writhing in pain! Oblivion is desperately looking for the bottom rope.
Zach Davis: I think Oblivion is too far away to grab the ropes!! Listen to Oblivion roar out in anger and pain!!
Oblivion is flopping around until....
Stanley Moser: That's it, Kane!! Break the hold. Oblivion has the ropes!! Let go, Kane!!
Brad Kane refuses to let go of the cross armbreaker.
Stanley Moser: ONE.... TWO....
Shannan Lerch: Kane should let go or get disqualified!!
Stanley Moser: THREE.... FOUR.... FI-....
Brad Kane quickly lets go of the submission maneuver. Oblivion rolls out of the ring. The Dark One shakes his massive arm, to get the blood flowing.
Zach Davis: Oblivion looks in absolute pain!!!
Brad Kane gets close to the ropes, but the referee moves him out of the way. Oblivion is still checking on IT's arm, right as he stands up and turns to the ring. Oblivion gets to ring side, as Kane gets close to the ropes.
Oblivion pulls Brad Kane, out of the ring!! They begin brawling. Oblivion grabs Kane and Irish whips him into the corner post....
Kane reverses it and sends Oblivion into the post. Kane rushes up and grabs Oblivion's slightly injured arm and....
....wraps it around the post.
Brad Kane does it again.
Shannan Lerch: Kane tried to wrap Oblivion's massive arm around the post for a third time, but Oblivion pulls Kane into the post, cracking his skull right into the steel post.
Oblivion grabs Brad Kane's right arm and begins to pull.
Zach Davis: With Kane's body pressed up against the post, Oblivion is about to yank that arm out of its socket!!
Stanley Moser tells both wrestlers to get it back in the ring!! Oblivion grabs Kane and.....
Shannan Lerch: Oblivion nails Brad Kane with a DDT on the ring side blue mats.
Oblivion scurries several feet back, with part of the security railing to IT's back. Waiting.... waiting... Waiting for Brad Kane to stand up. Kane stands up!!!
Oblivion charges at Brad Kane, but Kane had enough sense to pay attention and back body dropped Oblivion. Kane goes over and picks up Oblivion....
Zach Davis: What a cowardly move!! A thumb in the eye by Oblivion!!
Oblivion takes this opportunity to roll back in the ring, but rolls back out....
Shannan Lerch: A kick to the gut, by Oblivion!!
Oblivion Irish whips Brad Kane into the steel steps....
Brad Kane sends Oblivion into the ring steps, but instead of crashing into the steps, Oblivion ended up flying over the steps and landing hard. By this time, the crowd is on their feet, screaming their heads off. Kane runs around the steps...
Zach Davis: WATCH OUT!!!
Oblivion had been slowly recovering, when Kane showed up. Oblivion quickly reacted and grabbed Kane's legs and....
Zach Davis: OH MY GOOO-OODD-D-D!!
Shannan Lerch: Oblivion just nailed a spinebuster on Brad Kane, on the ringside steps.
Kane arches his back from the spinebuster. Oblivion sneers at Kane. Oblivion grabs for Kane, but Brad quickly sits and grabs for Oblivion and....
Zach Davis: Uranage!!!
Kane struggled to pick up Oblivion and slammed him next to the steps with a uranage. Kane hobbles over to his opponent. Kane grabs Oblivion...
Oblivion jabs IT's finger in an uppercut motion into the throat of IT's opponent. Oblivion sets up Brad Kane with a powerbomb. Kane struggles, but Oblivion clubs Kane's back with thumping forearms.
Shannan Lerch: Oblivion picks up Brad Kane for the powerbomb... but Kane hits Oblivion several times in the head and drops away!
Zach Davis: This is Kane's chance to come back! This match has to be nearing its conclusion, and here is Kane's opportunity!
Kane is about to hit Oblivion with the BK Backfist... but he shakes his head, "no." He instead drops to the mat and begins walking out of the arena.
Shannan Lerch: ..what?
Oblivion is yelling, wondering what the hell is going on. Kane is shaking his head, clearly unconcerned about the results of the match. The ref counts him out, and the crowd begins to boo.
Zach Davis: You know as well as I do Shannan.. Brad Kane doesn't care about his wins or losses at this point, all he cares is getting Kevin Hardaway across the ring from him.
At ten, the ref calls for the bell, awarding the victory to the Hardcore Champion.
Shannan Lerch: One week from today.. Helloween!
Zach Davis: Reb and Balfore, one on one for the World Title! Kane versus Hardaway! And two other Title matches!
Slam fades to black with Kane walking to the back.