Drunk and Crazy by Mogwai hits and Slam is on the air! We go to Zach and Shannan.
Zach Davis: Welcome to Slam! We are a week away from Aftermath and a few short days away from the UWA Supershow.
Shannan Lerch: That's right. Seth Lerch, Corey Black and Jay Price, the bizarre-est team in history, will face The Alliance with JT Underwood.
Zach Davis: Which leads to our two big main events tonight. Lawnmower Jones is going to face Odin Balfore for the World Title. Jones is a longtime ally of Logan, who was put out of commission by Balfore.. this could be his revenge, first of all, and second of all, I'm sure Seth is trying to wear Balfore down.
Shannan Lerch: We also have Seth Lerch in a rare one on one match against Ryan Blake. This will be very interesting, I hope my brother has something up his sleeve because I don't want to see him get hurt.
Zach Davis: We've got Aaron Miles, with his new attitude, up against D-Day. Miles is a week away from a TV Title match against Vic, how will he fare against a former World Champ?
Shannan Lerch: Speaking of Vic, he'll defend his belt against Buzzsaw Bundy, which should be quite the matchup.
Zach Davis: And in our opener, two newcomers will go at it. Jonny Fly and Hunter. Who will come out on top in this one?
Shannan Lerch: Let's find out!
Zach Davis: Two young men, rising stars, make their WCF debut here tonight! First up, “The Equalizer” Jonny Fly!
“The Champ” by Ghostface Killah plays throughout the arena as Jonny Fly steps onto the stage, getting a modest pop from the crowd. Jaw set with determination, he nevertheless offers the audience a cocky grin before making his way to the ring.
Shannan Lerch: According to inside sources, Fly hasn’t stepped into a ring in four years, but I still wouldn’t want to be his opponent tonight. Look at the focus in those eyes, Zach!
Zach Davis: Jonny Fly is one confident son of a bitch; I’ll give you that. But my money is on this man…
"For The Outlawz" by Moonshine Bandits starts playing as Hunter steps out. The fans are booing like crazy as the Worlds best Redneck makes his way to the ring. He circles the ring just staring into the ring stocking his prey standing in his pasture. He climbs the ring steps and when he gets to the top step he hands his cowboy hat to the ring girl. He wipes his feet off before stepping through the second rope. He stares a hole right through the chest of his prey as he walks towards the middle of the ring.
Zach Davis: Hunter sent the whole WCF a message last week on Slam, declaring the hunting season open – and there’s no bag limit! It looks like he’s on a crusade to avenge his unnamed mentor, and he’s starting with newcomer Jonny Fly! This man redefines intensity!
The bell rings, and the two men take a moment to size one another up. Fly circles warily, while Hunter maintains his position in the middle of the ring. With a malicious smile, he beckons to Jonny Fly; Fly closes, and the two begin the match with a classic collar-and-elbow tie up. It doesn’t take long for Hunter to overpower his opponent, breaking the hold and winding up for a huge haymaker!
Shannan Lerch: And after a cautious start, business is picking up!
Fly staggers back a couple of paces, looking surprised for the briefest instant before he shakes it off and returns a powerful right hand of his own.
Zach Davis: Both men trading blows now. I don’t know what Jonny Fly could possibly be thinking – this is not a position he wants to find himself in. Hunter has him by a good fifty-five pounds, and that means a lot more power behind those punches!
Shannan Lerch: Looks like The Equalizer has just realized that, Zach! He ducks a swing from Hunter… he’s going for the ropes… and a missile dropkick, out of nowhere! Jonny Fly with the first cover of the match!
Tw – Kickout!
Zach Davis: Too early for a cover here, but nice try.
Hunter is back on his feet in an instant. A snap kick to the gut doubles Fly over, setting him up for a picture-perfect piledriver by Hunter. But Hunter isn’t finished with him yet. He hauls Fly back up and looks for a fall away slam; Jonny Fly extricates himself from the hold and puts Hunter in a front facelock.
Shannan Lerch: DDT from Jonny Fly! Hunter is down again! Looks like the Hunter has become the hunted! Fly goes for the ropes again, and leaps off with a body splash!
Zach Davis: Another cover… another two-count! Hunter gets his shoulder up, and Jonny Fly is looking a little frustrated.
Fly backs off to give Hunter room to get up. They tie up again, and as soon as the ref looks away, Hunter sticks a thumb in Jonny’s eye.
Shannan Lerch: Oh, come on! That’s cheating!
Zach Davis: Only if the ref sees it, Shannan… Fly turns to face his opponent – and eats a big boot! Hunter calls that the Redneck Stomp! And he follows up with a brainbuster! This could be it! Hunter with the pin now!
Thr – NO!
Shannan Lerch: Jonny Fly kicks out! He’s still got some gas left in the tank!
Zach Davis: Not for long, Shannan! Hunter drags “The Equalizer” to his feet and nails him with a powerslam! …And another!
With his opponent down, Hunter grabs Fly by the head and digs his fingers in.
Zach Davis: Black Death! This match is over, Shannan!
In his weakened state, Jonny Fly struggles against the hold; but the more he fights, the tighter Hunter squeezes, until Jonny slumps, unmoving. The referee comes over to check on him. He lifts Fly’s hand once… and it drops to the mat. Twice… the hand drops again. The audience starts chanting Jonny Fly’s name, urging him to get up. The ref lifts Fly’s hand for a third time… and this time, as if in response to the crowd, Jonny’s hand, shaking with the strain, stays up!
Shannan Lerch: No, it’s not, Zachy! “The Equalizer” Jonny Fly fights his way out of the hold, and nails Hunter with a stiff right cross to the face!
Fly capitalizes on his advantage, dropping Hunter with a rather surprising powerbomb. He starts for the ropes, but Hunter struggles back to his feet. Hunter rushes at Jonny Fly, who drops him again with a DDT, assisted by Hunter’s own momentum. Fly takes to the ropes once more, climbing to the top and pausing there to pose for the crowd. Hunter begins to stir. Before he can sit up, however, Jonny launches himself off the ropes and lands headfirst in the middle of his opponent’s chest.
Shannan Lerch: And that, Zach, is called a Fly Swatter! Jonny with the pin!
“The Champ” hits the speakers again, as the referee raises Fly’s arm in victory.
Zach Davis: Luck, Shannan, pure and simple. That was nothing more than luck. Hunter had the advantage all the way!
Shannan Lerch: Call it what you will, Zach. Jonny Fly still won. Hope your bookie takes payments.
The camera takes us backstage into the bowels of the WCF Arena. We see that Switches the Clown is standing in a lighted utility closet, decked out in his full clown regalia and holding what appears to be a crack pipe in his hand, from which a cloud of thin white smoke is billowing out. Switches is muttering to himself in an angered tone.
Switches the Clown: It's the last goddamn Slam before the pay-per-view, one lousy week before Aftermath, and they don't even bother booking me for the show... What an insult! Me! Switches! Snubbed! Meanwhile that drunken, lawnmower-obsessed, mush-mouthed, idiot Jones gets a World Title match against Odin. How?! Why?! I beat Jones fair and square at Helloween! Put him to sleep with The Smileyo’matic. Knocked him out cold with the pain from my flesh-ripping fury. Yup-yup I did! Ha-HAH!
Switches busts into a sputtering giggle-fit. After a few moments the giggling subsides and Switches takes a hit from his crack pipe. Switches holds the smoke in his lungs for several moments before exhaling and then sighing. Switches pouts, the expression on his white grease-painted face showcasing the archetypal image of a sad clown.
Switches the Clown: On top of that they won't even let me into the locker room because I'm "not booked". I'm stuck smoking crack in a broom closet, like some kind of pervert. Oh, what are they doing to you, Switches? You're a star. You're the biggest star in the world and they don't even realize it. They won't let you reach your potential. They're jealous... they're scheming to deny Switches his rightful place among the true superstars in this miserable, godforsaken company. No more and never again. This travesty shall not stand!
Switches takes another long drag from his crack pipe and, finding that it's been tapped, stuffs it into his baggy clown pants, careful not to burn himself.
Switches the Clown: And another thing: How come the price of crack keeps going up?!
Switches switches the light off and stumbles out of the utility closet, into the hallway. Switches stomps down the hall in his magic shoes, no doubt hellbent on exacting his revenge upon those who have wronged him. Approximately ten yards ahead of Switches, a Caucasian male can be seen walking down the hallway in the direction toward Switches. Based on his attire, this young man does not appear to be a member of the WCF staff, nor is he a known member of the roster. As the man draws closer to the camera and we get a better look at him, we can see that he has long black hair and a bushy beard. A guess would put his age somewhere in the late twenties or early thirties, though his beard makes him look a few years older than that. The man's attire consists of a black leather jacket, a Slayer T-shirt, a beaded necklace, faded blue jeans and black Dickies boots. Switches and the man do not make eye contact as they approach each other and as the two men walk past each other they inadvertently brush arms. In fact they barely graze each other, but in the crack cocaine-addled mind of Switches this is a capital offense. Switches whips around toward the man, with a sneer on his face.
Switches the Clown: Hey! Ass-lips! You bumped into me!
The man turns around to face Switches, raising a brow and shooting a glare at the clown.
Man: Oh... uh, sorry about that, man. I got a lot on my mind and, to be honest, I didn't even notice you.
The expression on Switches' face says that he's not buying the man's story. Switches gets right up in the man's grill, eye-to-eye... literally, since they're a similar height.
Switches the Clown: Huh... you didn't notice a clown walking down the hall, right toward you? You really expect me to believe that?
Man: Hey, you didn't notice me either. Dude in a leather jacket with a Grizzly Adams style beard. How do you miss that?
Switches rolls his eyes; he is clearly not swayed by the man's argument.
Switches the Clown: Who the hell are you anyway? Some kind of beard salesmen?
Man: My name is Jam Willy Jesus. I'm from Belfast.
Switches the Clown: You're Irish? You sure as piss don't look, sound, smell or act Irish. Look at yourself. You’re not even drunk.
Jam Willy Jesus: No, man. I'm from Belfast, North Dakota. Sorry. I'm not used to talking to people from out of state. In North Dakota, that Belfast is THE Belfast.
Switches the Clown: Riiiiight...
Switches looks like he's jonesin' for another hit of crack right about now.
Jam Willy Jesus: Anyway, I'm meeting with Mr. Lerch tonight to finalize the terms of my contract.
Switches' ears perk up.
Switches the Clown: Oh? You're joining the WCF roster?
Jam Willy Jesus: Yeah, man. I'm gonna be a pro wrestler. That's wild, right? Haha!
While Jam Willy guffaws, Switches' entire demeanor does a one-eighty.
Switches the Clown: Ha! Sorry if I was a bit gruff earlier. I've been having one of those days, ya know. Hey, no hard feelings. Right, pally?
Switches flashes a friendly smile toward Jam Willy. Jam Willy seems a bit reluctant to accept Switches' apology, but ultimately he relents.
Jam Willy Jesus: Meh... I guess not.
Switches extends his gloved hand to Jam Willy.
Switches the Clown: Welcome to WCF, kid!
A big smile spreads across Jam Willy's face.
Jam Willy Jesus: Thanks, man! I really appreciate that!
Jam Willy extends his hand to shake Switches' hand. As he does so, he gets a rude surprise in the form of a buzzer in the palm of Switches' gloved hand. Jam Willy immediately grimaces and yanks his hand back.
Jam Willy Jesus: Hey! What the hell is that all about, man?!
Switches' formerly friendly smile has turned menacing.
Switches the Clown: What's the matter, kid? Can't take a joke?
Jam Willy Jesus: To hell with this and to hell with you! I'm here to meet the boss!
Switches appears bemused.
Switches the Clowns: You're here to meet the boss - dressed like THAT?
Switches wriggles his red rubber clown nose. Jam Willy gets a defensive look on his face as he straightens the collar on his leather jacket.
Jam Willy Jesus: Yeah... so?
Switches the Clown: Way to make a first impression, kid. Now this, THIS is how you make a first impression!
Switches stuns Jam Willy with an eye gouge and then plants him with a DDT on the ground. Switches quickly bounces to his feet in those magic shoes of his and pulls out a switchblade knife. The blade zips out with a flick of his thumb.
Switches the Clown: You cocky-pricks think you can replace me with some sideshow act? Don't you know who I am? I'm Switches! Switches! SWITCHES THE CLOOOOWWWNN!!!!
Jam Willy grimaces in pain, holding his head and his eye as he gets to his feet.
Jam Willy Jesus: What the hell is your problem, man?! Are you nuts?!
Switches nods his head, a self-satisfied smirk on his face.
Switches the Clown: Don't know when to stay down - do ya, kid? Oh well. That makes it more fun for Switches!
Switches cackles gleefully as he switches hands with the switchblade to keep Jam Willy off guard. Jam Willy cautiously stands his ground.
Jam Willy Jesus: I'm warning you, man! I've done hard time!
Jam Willy connects with a leg kick that temporarily buckles Switches' knee. In the blink of an eye Jam Willy reaches into his boot and pulls out a shiv. Both men brandish their weapons and circle each other in a deadly game of cat-and-mouse, each man waiting for the other to make the first move. They both feint with their weapons, with neither man actually landing a blow. This dance continues for several moments as spectators look on with horrified expressions on their faces. Finally, a flood of WCF security guards engulf the hallway, restraining both men and prying their weapons away from them. Switches and Jam Willy both struggle to free themselves from the clutches of the guards, to no avail. That doesn't stop Switches from running his mouth though.
Switches the Clown: Oh, you're dead! You're dead, kid!
Switches looks to one of the security guards and cocks his head in the direction of Jam Willy.
Switches the Clown: He's a dead man! Dead man walking! Ha-HAH!
The sound of Switches' choking laughter fills the air as WCF officials drag him away. The incredulous glare on Jam Willy's face is the last thing that we see before the scene fades to a commercial.
The sound of a chainsaw being pull started reverberates through the arena, as Jackyl's "The Lumberjack" starts. With the start of the lyrics Buzzsaw walks out, pausing on the stage to raise a fist. As the crowd pops, he makes his way to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans. Grabbing the top rope, he steps onto the apron, and over the top rope into the ring. As he prepares for his match, he removes his flannel shirt, revealing his muscled body.
Zach Davis: This is a big, BIG man right here. Buzzsaw hasn't had a great deal of success in WCF, but he looks especially determined to capture his first taste of championship gold tonight, and based on his promo earlier this week he sounds determined as well.
Shannan Lerch: When a man has as much sex in one night as Buzzsaw did in that promo, you have to think that he's going to be prepared for any challenge that awaits him inside of the ring.
Zach Davis: Excellent point, Shannan. Buzzsaw has gotten his rocks off a-plenty this week, which means that he's going to be focused on the task at hand in this match rather than day-dreaming about tits, ass and pussy. A focused Buzzsaw is a dangerous Buzzsaw and I have to believe that Buzzsaw's size and strength advantage are going to create major obstacles for Vic as Vic attempts to defend his Television Championship tonight against the former lumberjack.
Shannan Lerch: It could certainly prove difficult for Vic to execute the V For Victory, that roll-through German suplex of his, but Vic did defeat two heavily favored, veteran opponents in Doc Henry and Jake Keeton at Helloween to capture the TV Title, so we should never count him out. He's the champion for a reason.
Dark pink lights start flashing as Crass' "So What" begins to play and Vic comes meandering down the ramp. Vic patronizes the audience, mocking every person he can, almost getting into an altercation with one audience member, had the security barrier not been in place.
Vic climbs and slides himself into the ring. He walks on over to the ropes and leans around for a bit.
Zach Davis: This young man has a terrible attitude but it's hard to argue with the success that he's had so far in his young WCF career. He is the reigning Television Champion and tonight he will be attempting to make his second successful defense of that belt.
Shannan Lerch: Vic is an anarchist, of course, which means that he crosses the street when it says "Don't Walk".
Zach Davis: Nice TISM reference, Shannan. Approximately three members of our viewing audience might have actually caught that.
Shannan Lerch: Thanks, Zach. If you ask me, Vic is a helluva wrestler with a world of potential but he has to improve his attitude or he's not going to stick around for the long haul. We all saw what he did to Hank Brown a few weeks ago. Let's face it, Vic is an out of control punk kid who's watched too much Fight Club.
Zach Davis: "His name is Robert Paulson... His name is Robert Paulson!" Great scene!
Shannan Lerch: Yeah, and if Vic's not careful he's going to meet a quick and violent end just like Bob did.
Vic taunts the fans with the TV Title belt before reluctantly handing it over to the referee. The size difference between champion and challenger immediately becomes evident as the two meet at center ring, with the top of Vic's head barely reaching Buzzsaw's chest. Buzzsaw shows off his physique for the ladies in attendance by flexing his massive muscles, drawing a chorus of high-pitched cheers and woo's. Vic raises his top lip and sneers in response, Sid Vicious-style (the bassist, not the wrestler). Referee Zip Wingdinger calls for the bell.
Buzzsaw immediately challenges Vic to a test of strength. Vic has an incredulous expression on his face, looking at Buzzsaw as if the burly lumberjack is crazy. Rather than trying to match power with his much larger foe, Vic throws a quick kick towards Buzzsaw's knee. Buzzsaw alertly catches Vic's boot in his hands and then wags his finger as if to say "Uh-uh". Vic hops on one leg then leaps into the air and throws an enziguri. The kick only manages to hit Buzzsaw on the top of his bicep rather than the intended target of the back of his head. Buzzsaw easily absorbs the blow and lets out a snarling growl. Vic scrambles backwards on the mat, an alarmed expression on his face.
Zach Davis: I think Vic is now realizing that this match isn't going to be the walk in the park that he thought it would be.
Vic rolls out to the floor to devise a strategy. Buzzsaw lumbers toward the ropes. The big man leans down and reaches through the ropes as if trying to grab Vic while he's distracted, but Vic was waiting for Buzzsaw and he unloads on the challenger with a flurry of hard chops to the neck. Buzzsaw grabs his throat, struggling to breathe now, as the ref steps in and tries to separate Buzzsaw from the ropes. Vic seizes the distraction by connecting with a low blow that drops Buzzsaw to his knees.
Shannan Lerch: Oh daaamn! I'm a chick and even I felt that dick shot! It's a good thing that Buzzsaw got his freak on with those ladies from the strip club while he still had the ability to produce ejaculatory fluids!
Vic rolls into the ring and immediately puts the boots to Buzzsaw with a barrage of hard stomps to the back. Buzzsaw grits his teeth in pain. Vic quickly spins Buzzsaw around and plants him on the mat face-first with a... faceplant, of course! Vic covers Buzzsaw for the pin attempt.
Zip Wingdinger: ONE...
NO!!! KICK OUT!!!
Buzzsaw kicks out with such authority that he literally sends Vic flying into the air. Fortunately for Vic he's able to land on his feet. Vic waits for Buzzsaw to get up and then charges in from behind with a chop block that sends the big man right back to the mat. Vic shows some bravado by pounding his chest, drawing a loud chorus of boos from the fans, before dropping an elbow directly onto Buzzsaw's knee. Vic immediately bounces up to his feet and drops another elbow onto Buzzdsaw's knee.
Zach Davis: He might not be our most popular superstar because of his attitude, but Vic is a very smart wrestler and he deserves credit for that. He's utilizing the perfectly strategy to keep Buzzsaw down and wear him down.
Shannan Lerch: It's not fancy, but it's Vic's best chance to win this match.
Vic ricochets himself off the ropes, gets a head of steam and then drops another elbow onto Buzzsaw's knee. The third time is the charm for Vic as Buzzsaw yells out in pain, finally showing a sign that Vic's strategy is getting to him. Vic drops down to the mat, grapevines Buzzsaw's leg with his legs and yanks back with his arms in a modified half crab, putting pressure on that same knee that he's been working on.
Zach Davis: You can see the strain on Buzzsaw's face as Vic yanks back on that submission hold. Buzzsaw certainly doesn't want to quit and lose his chance to capture the prestigious WCF Television Championship, but those knees of his have to carry a lot of weight and he knows that if he suffers too much damage in this match... well, it could permanently impact his career.
Shannan Lerch: I think Vic realizes that too, Zach. He's making Buzzsaw choose between trying to hang on here and continue fighting in this match, with the TV Title at stake, or living to fight another day, so to speak, and preserving his long-term health. I don't think Buzzsaw is a quitter though.
Zach Davis: Well he doesn't look like he has any intention of quitting. Buzzsaw is digging towards the ropes while Vic looks like he's desperately trying to keep that modified half crab locked in!
Shannan Lerch: The fans are cheering Buzzsaw all the way! They want to see him get to those ropes and break the hold.
Vic grits his teeth while trying to keep the crab locked in tight and put more pressure on Buzzsaw's ailing knee. Buzzsaw grits HIS teeth while pressing down on the mat with his hands and sliding backwards toward the ropes, basically dragging the much smaller Vic along with him in a somewhat comedic sight. Buzzsaw makes one final lunge toward the ropes and then flops onto the mat, back-first. Buzzsaw reaches out with his long, muscular arms... and wraps both of his massive hands onto the bottom rope! The crowd goes wild in a celebratory cheer and the referee immediately instructs Vic to break the hold. Vic scowls at the ref and the ref begins his count. The ref gets to four-and-a-half before Vic finally lets go.
Zach Davis: Normally Vic probably wouldn't care about begin disqualified, after all he despises society's rules and laws, but he knows that the TV Title is the one championship in WCF that does change hands via disqualification.
Shannan Lerch: Commissioner Brad Kane implemented that rule when then TV Champion Jay Price intentionally got himself disqualified in a title defense against his rival Anastasia Petrova. A little history lesson for our newer fans.
Zach Davis: Are you and Jay still--
Shannan Lerch: I'd rather not talk about that. Thank you very much, Davis.
Vic is stomping away on Buzzsaw's knee like a madman. Vic grabs Buzzsaw's battered leg and drags him to the corner of the ring. Vic slides out to the floor, with Buzzsaw's leg still in hand, and drags the lumberjack's body toward the steel ring post. Vic reels back and then slams Buzzsaw's knee as hard as he can against the steel post, causing a loud pinging sound to reverberate throughout the Arena as flesh and bone meet steel. Buzzsaw howls in pain. Vic cackles gleefully, winds up and slams Buzzsaw's knee against the steel post once again, even harder than the last time.
Zach Davis: Good god, those are vicious steel post shots by Vic! The sound is ringing in my ears, like a home run at the Little League World Series with those damn aluminum bats!
Shannan Lerch: They really should teach kids to play with wood.
Zach Davis: Uh...
Shannan Lerch: Bats I mean! Wooden bats!
Vic bows to the fans in the front row with a sick smile on his face as the capacity crowd at WCF Arena acknowledges his gruesome handiwork with a round chorus of boos.
Zach Davis: Vic looks like he's just giddy right now! What a demented young man. He might have done permanent damage to Buzzsaw's knee and he couldn't care less.
Shannan Lerch: It's a heartless business, Zach. Vic is doing what he has to do to defend his championship. You can't hold a grudge against him for that... even if he is a callous S.O.B.
Vic smirks at the fans and then climbs into the ring. He grabs Buzzsaw by the leg and pulls him into the middle of the ring. Vic then makes the pin attempt, hooking Buzzsaw's injured wheel for added leverage.
Zip Wingdinger: ONE...
THR--NO!!! KICK OUT!!!
Zach Davis: Buzzsaw kicks out but it had to hurt him to put the added pressure on that knee during the kick out.
Shannan Lerch: Vic was smart and he knew that. This kid is really impressing me tonight. He's controlled this match pretty much from the start and it's going to be very hard for Buzzsaw to get back into it with basically one knee.
Vic pulls Buzzsaw up to his feet and doubles him over with a side kick to the gut. Vic charges toward the ropes, bounces off of them and tries for another chop block, but Buzzsaw alertly sidesteps him. Vic spins around and finds one of Buzzsaw's massive hamhocks (read: hands) wrapped around his neck. Vic's eyes are bugging out of his head as Buzzsaw lifts him into the air and chokeslams him down to the mat with authority!
Zach Davis: Chokeslam by Buzzsaw and this crowd has come to life!
Shannan Lerch: It looked like Buzzsaw's knee gave out on him though, Zach, on that chokeslam... although maybe not as much as Vic's back when it hit the mat.
Buzzsaw drapes one of his massive arms across the chest of the fallen TV Champion for the pin attempt.
Zip Wingdinger: ONE...
Zach Davis: Vic got the shoulder up! That was close! I thought we had a new Television Champion!
Shannan Lerch: The crowd was certainly hoping for that outcome, as was Buzzsaw. That one chokeslam, that one power move was all it took to sway the momentum in this match, but I just don't know how much Buzzsaw has left in the tank. That might have been his best AND LAST chance to win.
Zach Davis: Buzzsaw is crawling to the ropes once again, this time I'm sure he's hoping to pull himself up so that he can take advantage of his injured foe while he's still down.
Buzzsaw does reach the ropes and he slowly and somewhat awkwardly pulls himself to his feet. After regaining his vertical base, Buzzsaw gingerly makes his way over to Vic on one good leg. Vic is getting to his feet now, which makes it easier for Buzzsaw to grab a hold of him. Buzzsaw whips Vic into the ropes, catches him on the rebound and spikes him with a Double A Spinebuster.
Zach Davis: Shades of Arn Anderson by Buzzsaw and he damn near snapped Vic's body in half with that spinebuster! Here's the cover by Buzzsaw! Will that be enough to put away the Television Champion?!
Zip Wingdinger: ONE...
Zach Davis: Kick out by Vic! He had to dig deep for that one!
Shannan Lerch: Buzzsaw is still looking a bit hobbled as he gets back to his feet, but I'd say the adrenaline is kicking in for him as he senses that the Television Championship is within his grasp. I bet his knee isn't hurting him as much as it was just a few minutes ago!
Buzzsaw pounds his chest as he stands tall over his diminutive foe, waiting for him to get to his feet. Buzzsaw extends his arms to his sides as if preparing to wrap a bosomy woman in a bear hug... or Vic for that matter. Vic does stumble to his feet, clearly on queer street, and Buzzsaw wastes no time pouncing. He wraps up Vic in the bear hug, lifts him off the ground and ragdolls him from side to side.
Zach Davis: Grizzly Attack! Grizzly Attack! Bah gawd there's a Grizzly Attack in Reading!
The crowd is GOING FUCKING BONKERS as they sense that Buzzsaw is moments away from capturing the TV Championship.
Shannan Lerch: Vic is fading! You can see the life draining from his face, replaced by the pale specter of death! Oh noes! Vic just kicked Buzzsaw in his knee! Desperate move by the champ but it pays off!
Buzzsaw immediately relinquishes the Grizzly Attack and grips his knee in pain, allowing Vic to drop to his feet on the mat. Vic takes a moment to recover, then looks at Buzzsaw as if considering his next move. Vic charges Buzzsaw, ducks a flailing clothesline attempt by the big man and spikes his head on the mat with a Floatover DDT.
Zach Davis: What a move by the champ! Vic makes the cover now! Will that be enough to put away Buzzsaw?!
Zip Wingdinger: ONE...
Zach Davis: Buzzsaw gets the shoulder up! Vic is arguing with the ref, but I think he's desperate now. He doesn't know how to put this giant of a man away. He can't go for his finisher, Buzzsaw is too big for him to lift.
Vic glares at Buzzsaw and licks his lips.
Shannan Lerch: Vic might not be able to hit V For Victory on Buzzsaw, but will he have The Nerve? Get it? The Nerve!
As if on cue, Vic sneaks up behind Buzzsaw and locks in his version of the Vulcan nerve pinch. Buzzsaw grimaces... but that grimace turns to a smile. A broad smile. Buzzsaw even starts laughing. A hearty laugh. Vic's expression goes from sinister to panicked half-a-second before Buzzsaw smashes him in the face with a massive back-elbow, breaking up the ill-advised submission attempt.
Zach Davis: So much for the best laid plans.
Shannan Lerch: Yeah they generally get laid to waste.
Buzzsaw lumbers to his feet and pulls Vic up to his. Buzzsaw shoves Vic's head between his legs and then "pull starts the buzzsaw" as the crowd goes wild in a frenzy of cheers. Buzzsaw lifts Vic up into the powerbomb position and brings him down with the full force of his three-hundred and sixty-five pound frame. Then Buzzsaw lifts Vic up and brings him down with another equally devastating powerbomb. That's not all though... Buzzsaw lifts Vic up and sends him hurtling to the mat with a third and final powerbomb that absolutely obliterates the Television Champion. Vic looks like he's out cold on the mat.
Zach Davis: Felling The Forest! Buzzsaw just felled Vic's forest and I do believe that will just about do it!
Buzzsaw drops onto Vic for the cover.
Zip Wingdinger: ONE...
Zach Davis: Buzzsaw wins! New champ! Buzzsaw Bundy is the NEW! -- WCF Television Champion!
Buzzsaw raises the Television Championship belt high above his head in celebration as his music plays on the PA and the crowd showers him with cheers.
Shannan Lerch: Congrats, Buzzsaw! You deserve it! And, uh, if you want to meet me back at your hotel room after the show that would be cool!
As the camera's went backstage it was to catch the five foot eight blonde walking around in a pair of gray dress pants and a white button up blouse with the top two buttons left undone. Her long fingers brushed through her extra long locks keeping them from her face as she stopped in front of an unmarked door and without knocking opened it up. Seeing who she was looking for she sighed.
Woman: Please, you are not going and talking to anyone looking like that... find something else to wear and quickly, because you will not look like trash this time around.
Closing the door she walked off saying nothing more and letting the scene head back to the ring.
The lights in the stadium dim to pitch black Bulletproof by 12 Stones blares in the speakers with lights swinging around the stadium lighting up the darkness from the dimmed lights. In cue with the music, pyros of red, white and blue go off when the sound of BANG!!! from Bulletproof. The pyros continue to go off on cue with the word being said. After the third pyro goes off the lights focus on the entrance of the stage where Donald Deruty is standing with his head tilted down. He falls to his knees and throws his hands up in the air where a final set of multi-colored pyros is fired. At the signal of the final pyros the dimmed lights turn back on and light the whole stadium with red, white, and blue lights. D-Day jumps to his feet as soon as the lights are back on. He takes his time walking down the ramp, as he gives high fives and shakes the hands of the fans. Once he reaches ringside he slowly walks up to the steel steps where he goes one step at a time until he reaches the ropes where he enters the ring with a swaggery hop to his walk. He looks up at the titantron where the sights of his memorial moments in his WCF career can be seen.
"I Am The Cool" by Screamin Jay Hawkins as "The Epitome Of Cool" Aaron Miles walks out onto the stage, flanked by a pair of busty beauties and followed closely by Lil Jon. Miles pauses at the top of the ramp, lowers his shades as he looks around at the crowd with a bit of a cocky smirk on his face, and then he pushes them back up over his eyes as he saunters down toward the ring. As they walk down the ramp, the females pass out Aaron's pamphlets to the fans, which are promptly balled up and throws aside. Aaron then climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring as the ladies take their seats beside the announce table and Lil Jon stands by the ring. Aaron then heads for the nearest corner, where he climbs up to the second rope and gestures toward his abs..and the bulge in his trunks..and even the most pissed off of the female fans can't help but appreciate the magnificent bastard. Finally he hops down to the mat as his music fades out.
DING! DING! DING!
The bell rings and D-Day goes after Miles, but Miles holds his hands up in the air to stop him. D-Day watches in confusion as Miles walks over to the ropes and asks for a microphone.
Shannan Lerch: This is...unusual to say the least.
A ringside employee hands a microphone to Miles.
Aaron Miles: Look, D-Day, I've got no beef with you man. I already got my TV Title shot next week, and there's no way I'm risking this face or this body on a match that means nothing. So I'm going to save you the ass beating that you were going to get, and just let you take this one. All right sport?
Miles lowers the microphone and winks toward D-Day while flipping him a thumbs up. D-Day looks around at the crowd and then shrugs his shoulders. He flips a thumbs up back at Aaron. Miles turns to leave the ring when D-Day from out of nowhere rolls him up from behind.
"Bulletproof" hits the speakers as D-Day quickly rolls out of the ring, narrowly missing Lil Jon as he slides into the ring. Miles sits up and looks around, a look of confusion on his face. Miles then looks toward D-Day and mouths the words "what the fuck?". D-Day is all smiles as he holds his arms up in victory and walks backward up the ramp.
Zach Davis: Did we just witness the shortest match in WCF history?
Shannan Lerch: I've got no idea Zach. Let's just go to commercial.
The show fades to commercial as Lil Jon pulls Miles up to his feet and the two stare down D-Day.
As the show came from commercial the blonde that had been seen in the back was shown once more only this time standing in the middle of the ring, microphone in hand.
Woman: Ladies and gentlemen, I would first like to thank you all for joining us this evening. Once more WCF is giving you a show that no one else can provide you with. With that being said, let me introduce myself...
She paused for a moment listening to the cat calls and shook her head while laughing softly.
Woman: Too kind. My name is Ashley Davis, and while I hate to tell you all I am not signing with WCF as a wrestler... I do have the pleasure of announcing another female who is back on the roster.
The cheers in the crowd got louder hearing the mention of a female and Ashley laughed softly.
Ashley Davis: Without further ado...
Not Afraid by Eminem came blaring across the PA system and the crowd was on their feet with a mix of cheers and boo's as Kaylyn James Evans came out onto the stage with a smirk upon her face. Her form was covered in a white dress coat that passed her knees and was fully covering her body. The only thing shown was a pair of blue heels as she made her way down the ramp. Kaylyn looked like she was about to slide into the ring but Ashley looked at her and over towards the stairs and Kaylyn rolled her eyes but moved towards the steps and ascended them before moving along the apron and gracefully entered the ring through the middle and top ropes.
Ashley Davis: Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome back the new and improved... KAYLYN JAMES EVANS!
As Ashley finished speaking and moved the microphone to clap her hands lightly she moved across the ring to hand the microphone to Kaylyn who smiled and took it gently. Kaylyn waited until the boos and cheers lowered in volume before bringing the microphone to her lips.
Kaylyn James Evans: Ashley, thank you for that warm welcome... however, you forgot to let everyone know just what it was you were doing here. I'll help you out though. Ashley here... she is going to be my manager here in WCF from here on out.
The cheers continued once more, getting louder and without any boos upon hearing that Ashley would be seen around more often.
Kaylyn James Evans: Another thing you forgot... is unlike you, I am not a goody good, and I wont bend to your will...
Ashley turned to look at Kaylyn raising a brow but remaining calm and keeping a smile upon her face.
Kaylyn James Evans: You see Ashley... I will still do things my way... whether you like it on not... and I plan to start that... right... NOW.
Kaylyn laughed and tossed the microphone to the ring floor before going to the ropes and flipping out of the ring landing on the apron. As she jumped down she smirked before pulling her coat aside revealing a matching blue bikini to go with the heels. Smirking she tossed the jacket into the crowd before making her way up the ramp showing off her form that she worked so hard on. While she had done such, Ashley retrieved the microphone that Kaylyn had discarded and brought it to her lips.
Ashley Davis: Oh Kaylyn... I think you're forgetting something sweetheart.
Kaylyn reached the top of the ramp and turned around to look at Ashley keeping that grin upon her face.
Ashley Davis: You see Kaylyn... it's I who speaks to management and arranges who you will compete against here in WCF. Every time you show off... it's only going to bring you more pain and punishment. I will teach you some respect one way or another Evans.
Ashley smirked before moving across the ring and handing the microphone back to the techies while Kaylyn glared at her before disappearing in the back. Ashley seemed to be all smiles as she left the ring and headed up the ramp making sure to pay attention to the fans in attendance along the way.
Master of Puppets plays. And, of course, out comes Seth Lerch.
Zach Davis: You know, I think Seth gets the award for sticking to the same theme music for the longest time.
Seth walks to the ring, wearing his usual jeans and a T-shirt despite the fact he's scheduled to wrestle in a matter of moments. He slides in, but before Blake's music can hit, he grabs a mic.
Zach Davis: Great. Here we go.
Seth Lerch: Some of you may be asking yourself, "why did Seth book this match? He's not a competitor!" Well, that's true. BUT I love this company, and BECAUSE I love this company, I booked myself on the interfed UWA Supershow. Well, I didn't book myself, per se. I volunteered my services, and I got booked... to team up with Creeping Death - I'm not going to call him Corey Black - I got teamed up with Creeping Death and JAY PRICE-
Huge pop from the crowd for Price.
Seth Lerch: ...to face Odin Balfore, Ryan Blake, and some nobody who I don't know. I mean, I was expecting to compete against a bunch of non-WCF talent, nobody jobbers, you know? But then I find out I'm facing the likes of Balfore and Blake!?
Seth Lerch: I'm a proud man, but I'm not a stupid man. I'm outclassed here, ESPECIALLY because I'm teaming with two men who hate me. So at the UWA Supershow, the chips will fall where they may. But I think I owe it to everyone, after last week, to clarify what exactly is going on with me, Creeping Death, Odin Balfore, and the WCF World Title.
The fans buzz a bit, interested.
Seth Lerch: I'll tell you fans exactly what you haven't been hearing. The truth is, both Odin Balfore and Creeping Death are scared of me. They're scared that now that I've come back, I'll erase their "accomplishments," I'll erase what they did while I was gone. And they're right to be afraid! Truth is, as dominant as Odin may be, Creeping Death failed at keeping him in line. I came back to a roster of flakes, cowards, nobodies, and veterans. And veterans, I respect the HELL out of you and thank you deeply for sticking around while Creeping Death and Mark Markman - and by the way, his real name was Charley Plumtree or something like that - I thank you veterans for sticking around while those guys were in charge. It was thanks to you that WCF kept going. But what else did they do? They infected WCF with the likes of El Mideo Extremo and a bunch of other nobodies I had to get rid of. Guys that couldn't cut it. You two let JAY WILLIAMS of all people become World Champion! I was never more embarrassed of being associated with WCF until I heard that a man of such low integrity had won my belt.
The fans are booing, starting to sense some degree of bullshit.
Seth Lerch: Creeping Death, you left Odin Balfore dominate the company to the point that no one wanted to work here anymore. You went on hiatus. I had to step in and make things right again. Balfore, you know that with me back in charge, your reign as Champion is limited. So both of you are scared of me.
Booing. Mucho booing.
Seth Lerch: So-
"Locust" by Machine Head hits the speakers. Corey Black walks out from the back, casually wearing a black hoodie and jeans. He, as always in this situation, has a mic.
Corey Black: Really, Seth? I mean... okay, you're right, the majority of wrestlers bailed when I was in charge; but it wasn't because Odin was killing them. No, no, no. It's because I am not a pushover and I won't put up with their shit. I have the balls to make sure a piece of crap offends once, and then they will never be heard from again. You, on the other hand, will keep that guy around because he will add 'numbers' to the roster.
That is what separates us. I was looking out for the men that make WCF work and you continue to look out for your own pockets over that. Never once will you ever take a step back and look at the guys in the back. The likes of Tommy Knoxville and Jason Kash. Both of them add nothing to WCF but headaches and numbers. You, however, don't have to deal with them, so they run free and do what they want. Me, though? I'm back there with them. I try to keep them in line, and what does that get me?
So as soon as I had the power, and they offended, boom, they were gone. It was a hit to the numbers, but it raised the morale. Which is more important to you, Seth?
I think the answer to that is clear. So no, in the most literal way, I'm not afraid of you... I'm afraid of how WCF is run under your power.
Seth Lerch: Oh, really? You know what? I've known you long enough to know how pointless it is to argue with you. I've given the fans, and I've given the world, the rundown of what is going on here. I'll let them judge. But Creeps, I know that you may be stubborn, but you're not stupid. Think about it. No matter what you and Odin think of me and my "regime"... how long can your little "alliance" last? He prided himself on ending your career, and your return has taken that accomplishment from him. Do you think he won't stab you in the back the second he can? And you, how long are you going to worry about me, when week after week you see the WCF Title over Odin's shoulder? You're a legend around here, don't get me wrong, but how many meaningful, lasting Title reigns have you had? I can't remember any, Creeps, and I doubt anyone in the audience can, either. You're going to want that belt. You two may hate me and what I stand for, but I've outlasted every other assault on me in the past ten years, and you two are going to self destruct way before-
Seth hasn't noticed, but Ryan Blake has entered the ring and clocks him from behind! The bell sounds. Corey Black exits the ring, and the expression on his face is unreadable.
Zach Davis: I don't know what to think, Shannan. Those two men are actually TEAMING UP in a few days at the UWA Supershow, but at this point it seems like Corey Black may be more on the side of Odin Balfore than Seth! And both Black and Seth had some good points, is what Seth said going to sink in? Or will Black just write it off as Seth trying to play head games?
Shannan Lerch: I don't care right now, Zach, my brother is getting beaten up in the ring!
Blake is stomping on Seth repeatedly. He slides onto the apron and waits for Seth to stumble up.. then Springboards and hits a Superman Punch!
Zach Davis: Oof! He may've just knocked Seth out!
Seth quickly rolls out of the ring before Blake can pin him. Blake follows, but even in his dazed state Seth is smart enough to grab a chair from ringside and quickly swing it at Blake!
Shannan Lerch: Seth is fighting for his life!
He hits Blake, and Blake stumbles back. The ref calls for the bell, disqualifying Seth. Seth, however, doesn't care. He swings the chair again at Ryan Blake, hitting him once more and sending him reeling, before dropping it and running off. Seth heads to the entrance ramp, but grabs a mic as he goes.
Seth Lerch: You're lucky, Blake! You're lucky you attacked me from behind, because otherwise I'd have given you the beating of a lifetime! I'll see you and Balfore at the UWA show!
Seth disappears to the back as Blake begins to get up, pissed.
Zach Davis: You've got to think that Seth had some other plan, but between Corey Black and Ryan Blake's sneak attack, it got thwarted. Now all he did was piss Blake off, most likely.
Shannan Lerch: And UWA is new territory for him, he doesn't have a home field advantage... I'm scared for him.
A clip plays on the screen recapping the attack on Oblivion by the masked man during last week's main event. The clip ends, showing Oblivion getting pinned. After the clip plays, the cameras cut backstage where Oblivion is seen exiting the lockerroom, hardcore title slung over his shoulder.
Shannan Lerch: Well, we’re being told that Oblivion is coming out here to address the crowd.
Zach Davis: Always an interesting ti—wait a minute.
Down the hall behind Oblivion comes the masked man, apparently from one of the side hallways. He starts running up behind Oblivion and nails him in the back of the head with a forearm, sending him sprawling out on the concrete.
Shannan Lerch: Oh man, not this guy again!
The masked man wastes no time as he starts stomping away at Oblivion. He then gets down beside him and holds his head with one hand while he nails him with stiff rights with the other.
The masked man picks up Oblivion who is still reeling from the sudden attack. Oblivion is flung directly into a nearby steel door and he just bounces off of it. The masked man grabs a chair from down the hall as Oblivion can be heard groaning a little. The masked man walks over and nails Oblivion a couple of times in the side as hard as he can with the chair. He finally hurls it onto the prone body of Oblivion.
Zach Davis: Someone get security out there! Where the hell are they??
The masked man starts walking away, but then pauses and looks back over his shoulder.
Zach Davis: What’s he doing now? Was that not enough?
The masked man turns and walks back to Oblivion who is barely moving. He reaches down and grabs up the hardcore title laying beside Oblivion. The masked man gives Oblivion one more big kick to the side and then walks off with the WCF Hardcore title in his possession.
Shannan Lerch: What in the world? Who is this masked man?
Zach Davis: And why did he steal his title?
Zach Davis: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our Slam main event and what a treat we have for you as Odin Balfore defends his WCF World Championship against the always tough Lawnmower Jones!
Shannan Lerch: This is a rare World Title match on Slam and it just so happens that these two men, champion and challenger, have a bit of a history with each other. Of course that's not by accident, it's by the design of my brother, the great Seth Lerch. Think about it, Zach, it would completely change the landscape of WCF heading into Aftermath if Jones beats Odin to capture the WCF World Championship tonight.
Zach Davis: I can't argue that point, Shannan. We would have a new face of WCF, one that nobody could have predicted before this match was announced one week ago. As you mentioned Odin and Jones do have history. In fact the last time that we saw these two men in the same ring, Odin was putting Jones through a rickety ass coffee table with a jackknife powerbomb.
Shannan Lerch: As we all know, Jones is the king of pain. He's as rough and tumble as they come and if anything he probably enjoyed that powerbomb. Not as much as he enjoys sifting through the latest edition of the John Deere spring catalog, but I bet he still enjoyed it.
The words "My Name is Lawnmower Jones, and I Love to Mow!" are heard across the arena. Scottish bagpipes are heard around the arena, as a motor starting and a lawnmower mowing is heard. Lawnmower Jones walks out from the back. On his way to the ring, Jones refuses to touch any of the fans, and sneers at them. He rolls into the ring and pretends to push a lawnmower, flexing, posing, taunting. He goes to a corner and stretches, waiting for his opponent.
Zach Davis: Jones hasn't had a great run of luck lately in WCF. As we mentioned he was put through a table by Odin on Slam. Then he was put to sleep at Helloween courtesy of Switches the Clown and The Smileyo’matic. Then he was roughed up by Aaron Miles' cohort Lil Jon last week on Slam, in a shocking ambush during the triple threat match between Jones, Miles and Switches.
Shannan Lerch: Jones has rebounded from losses before, including the loss of his beloved Lonnie, and tonight he has an opportunity to reach the pinnacle of his profession, but of course it won't be easy against Odin.
"With Oden On Our Side" hits the PA system. The arena grows dark as the fans get to their feet to catch a glimpse of the stage. The fans stand and cheer, and once the vocals start the arena lights flash back on and there stands Odin Balfore, center stage. Odin stares down at the ring with a sinister grin as the fans sing along with the chorus.
Crowd: Futile to resist! You know we have come! Futile to resist... the battle is.. already won!
Crowd: Futile to resist! You know we have come! Futile to resist... the battle is.. already won!
The fans pop insanely right after as Odin begins to walk down the ramp at a slow and methodical pace. Once he gets to the foot of the ring, he steps up on it and looks around the arena again before stepping over the ropes..
Crowd: Futile to resist! You know we have come! Futile to resist...
Odin cuts off the fans as he raises his fist in triumph. Odin turns back to the ring as the fans finish their part.
Crowd: The battle is.. already won!
Odin stares down Lawnmower Jones, who stares right back at Odin, as they wait for the match to get underway.
Zach Davis: In just a few short months Odin Balfore has gone from being a frightening curiosity to being a dominant World Champion here in WCF. Perhaps one of the most dominant World Champions that we've ever seen.
Shannan Lerch: That's saying a lot considering that men such as Torture, Logan and Slickie T have held that championship, each of them multiple times in fact. Odin himself is now a two-time World Champion and in my opinion it is going to take a monumental effort for any man to take that belt from Odin anytime soon.
Zach Davis: This is, of course, a singles match for the World Championship, but could it become a numbers game? Could we see outside interference from Odin's Alliance stablemate Ryan Blake? Or how about Corey Black? Could we even see interference, Shannan, from your brother Seth or one of his allies?
Shannan Lerch: I don't have any inside information if that's what you're pining for, Zach. Personally I hope this is a good, clean match without any interference. I want to see a heavyweight slugfest and I think these two superstars have the ability to make that happen.
Odin and Jones meet at center ring and Odin holds his World Championship belt up for all to see. He taunts Jones with it, practically rubbing the Scotsman's face in it (in a literal sense of the term). Jones rears back with his fist as if he's about to punch Odin square in the jaw, but the referee warns Jones to hold his horses. Odin snickers at Jones and hands the belt to the referee, Slappy Johnson. Odin tells Jones that was as close as he'll ever get to the World Title. Jones replies with a hateful scowl.
Zach Davis: Boy these guys do not like each other.
Shannan Lerch: The hate in the air is palpable. You can't even cut it with a knife; you need a samurai sword for that shit.
The fans pledge their respective allegiances with loud, rival chants of "O-din!" and "L-J!" Slappy Johnson calls for the bell to officially get this highly anticipated bout underway.
Odin and Jones immediately lunge forward and meet in a collar-and-elbow tie-up at mid-ring. Odin gains the advantage and traps Jones in a headlock. They back up into the ropes and Jones shoves Odin off into the opposite ropes. Odin rebounds, Jones charges and hits a spear that takes the champion down. The LJ fans in attendance let out a roar, but Jones takes no time to celebrate. No, sir. Jones unloads on Odin's cranium with big Scottish punches that stun the Norse god. Jones lets Odin up from the mat only to set him up for a Fisherman's suplex. Odin manages to regain his bearings and power out of the attempted suplex. Odin shoves Jones away, takes a stutter step and drills the challenger with a big boot to the face.
Zach Davis: Big boot from Odin and you had to know that was coming at some point in this match!
Shannan Lerch: Love the man or hate him but either way you have to admit, Odin has turned cracking dudes upside the head with the business end of his wrestling boot into an artform.
Jones gets back to his feet. Odin measures him, builds a head of steam and hits a powerful clothesline that knocks the challenger over the top rope. Jones lands on the floor outside of the ring with a thud. Odin steps over the top rope and joins Jones outside the ring, albeit with a more conventional and less painful path than the one that Jones took. Odin stomps down on the back of Jones' head a couple of times, just to see if Jones is still with him. When Jones responds with a pained grunt, Odin knows what he must do. Odin pulls Jones to his feet and uses all of his Norse might to whip the maniacal Scotsman into the steel ring post. Jones hits the post shoulder-first and yells out in agony. Jones begins cursing in Gaelic, which just goes to show how pissed he is right now. Despite being in pain, Jones spins around, charges Odin and hits another massive spear, this time onto the ringside floor.
Zach Davis: If Odin is the master of the big boot, then I would argue that Jones is equally adept at jacking dudes out of their wrestling boots with that spear of his!
Shannan Lerch: I might just have to agree with you there, Zach, which is something that I hate to do. The problem is that both men are in danger of being counted out right now if they don't get back into the ring,
Jones senses the referee's count is nearing ten. He doesn't even bother listening to the ref's count, he just senses it. It's that Scottish intuition. Jones pulls Odin to his feet and rolls the World Champion into the ring, then follows in himself.
Zach Davis: Jones knows that a count out does him no good because the title cannot change hands on a count out-- but it can change hands on a pin and Jones has the cover on Odin!
Slappy Johnson: ONE...
Odin powers out with authority and bulls his way to his feet. Jones tries to put the grappling wraps on Odin, but Odin isn't having any of it. Odin staggers Jones back into the corner with clubbing blows. Once he has Jones in the corner, Odin connects with a strong-style headbutt that causes the Scotsman's eyes to roll back in his head. Odin follows up with a European uppercut that rocks Jones' head back, but this actually seems to wake Jones up. Jones retaliates with a European uppercut of his own that stuns the World Champion. Jones bursts out of the corner with a flurry of punches that put Odin on his heels, not necessarily hurting the big man but certainly throwing off his equilibrium. Jones connects with a sledgehammer of an overhand right that drops Odin to the mat. Odin quickly gets back to his feet, but Jones is all over him. LJ kicks Odin in the gut and then plants him with a DDT. Odin rises to a seated position on the mat, a pained grimace on his face. Jones quickly swarms him and locks in a Full Nelson.
Zach Davis: Old school submission here by Jones with the Full Nelson! He's probably not expecting to submit Odin with this move, but it can definitely wear the champion down--
Shannan Lerch: And soften up his neck and shoulders for the Jonesmission.
Zach Davis: Yes, that's what I was going to say before you cut me off in mid-sentence.
Shannan Lerch: Oh well. I said it first so I get credit for it.
Jones increases his leverage, adding to the strain and tension that's being put on Odin's head, neck, back and shoulders. The ref checks in with Odin to see if he wants to quit. Odin just snarls at the ref like a caged animal that's dying to lash out at his captor but is unable to do so. Jones taunts Odin, equating the size of his genitalia to that of a rodent. Odin grits his teeth and scowls, more annoyed than pained by the strain of the Full Nelson.
Zach Davis: If looks could kill then everyone who's watching this match would be a dead duck right now. The World Champion is not a happy camper.
Shannan Lerch: And Odin does love his camping, but you're right, Zach. Odin is frustrated right now. Jones has him trapped in this fairly rudimentary submission hold, and he's using leverage to negate Odin's pure size and strength advantages, which is making it difficult for Odin to find an escape route.
Odin begins to make his move, starting off by getting his legs under him and then gradually working to a vertical base. Once he's up to his feet, Odin is still locked in the Full Nelson of Jones, but when Odin rises to his full seven-foot frame it makes it difficult for the six-foot-three Jones to keep the hold locked in with any real effect. Odin is able to power Jones into the corner and sandwich him with an avalanche, finally freeing himself from Jones' powerful and determined Scottish clutches. Odin takes a moment to regain his breath and massage his sore neck and shoulders, after having been trapped in that Full Nelson for several minutes. Odin then turns to face Jones. Odin snarls and proceeds to unleash his fury on Jones with a series of heavy shoulder strikes to Jones' abdomen, three, four and five of them to be exact. After softening Jones up, Odin backs away, giving the challenger space enough to stumble forward into Odin's waiting clutches. Odin slings Jones' two-hundred and forty-one pound frame over his shoulder with ease and turns his back to the corner. Odin runs toward the middle of the ring and emphatically plants Jones into the mat with a powerslam.
Zach Davis: Lawmaker by Odin! He's got Jones' leg hooked! Will that be enough for the champion to retain his belt?!
Slappy Johnson: ONE...
THR--NO!!! KICK OUT!!!
Odin wastes no time getting to his feet and pulling Jones up to his. Odin sets Jones up for a vertical suplex and then lifts him into the air, high above the ring. Rather than dropping Jones to the mat to complete the suplex, Odin holds Jones in the air for several moments, letting all of the blood rush to Jones' drunken Scottish noggin.
Zach Davis: In my opinion, this stalling suplex is truly one of Odin's most devastating maneuvers. He's so strong and so tall, he can hold you in the air for what seems like forever and when he does finally bring you down it must feel like you're falling from the top of a skyscraper.
Shannan Lerch: Is it just my imagination or does Jones have a sly smile on his face? He's upside down, so from this angle it looks like he's frowning, but you flip that frown upside down and it becomes a smile. I think Jones is enjoying himself! Hell, this is probably the closest he'll ever come to riding a roller coaster at Disney World, why wouldn't he be enjoying himself?
Without warning, Odin suddenly drops to the mat, causing Jones to land with a thunderous and devastating suplex. Jones' body looks crumpled from the impact and he's not moving. The alleged smile has disappeared from his face and it's not apparent whether he's even conscious. Odin looks confident as he makes the cover on Jones with the lateral press, not bothering to hook a leg.
Slappy Johnson: ONE...
THRE--NO!!! FOOT ON THE ROPE!!!
Zach Davis: Wow! I thought that was three, but Jones got his foot on the rope just in time!
Odin scowls at the referee, not accepting his explanation for why the three count wasn't completed.
Shannan Lerch: Not for nothing, Odin, but if you had hooked Jones' leg then he wouldn't have been able to put his foot on the rope. Just a thought.
Zach Davis: I don't think he can hear you from here, Shannan.
Shannan Lerch: Good, I don't want to get that big mofo pissed at me.
Odin pulls the barely conscious Jones to his feet and drapes him back-first on the ropes, with Jones' arms dangling over the ropes to the outside. Odin measures Jones, gets a sadistic smile on his face and charges. Just as Odin is about to connect with another of his devastating big boots, Jones moves out of the way and Odin gets crotched on the top rope. The Jones fans let out a big cheer while the Odin fans gasp in horror at what just happened to their idol's genitals.
Zach Davis: The World Champion finds himself in a very precarious position right now! As a man, with a penis and testicles, I do not envy him!
Shannan Lerch: Even as a woman, with a vagina, I do not envy him. And judging by the look on Jones' face he does not pity Odin.
While Odin is grimacing in obvious pain, Jones is grinning like a Cheshire cat as he eyes the top rope. Jones appears to be running on little more than fumes at this point, but that's more than enough for him to get by as he charges the top rope and kicks it upwards, right into Odin's prone crotch. Odin howls in pain, so Jones measures those ropes and once again drills a kick that sends the top rope right into Odin's most sensitive of spots. The pain is more than the mighty Norseman can handle and he finally drops from the top rope-- unfortunately for Odin, he spills out of the ring all the way down to the unforgiving arena floor below. Jones staggers his Scottish body through the ropes and follows Odin outside of the ring. Jones stands over Odin's fallen body and revels in the moment. Shortly thereafter Jones can be seen pulling Odin to his feet. Jones Scottish whips Odin toward the steel ring post, apparently trying to return the favor from when Odin did it to him earlier in the match, but Odin reverses and it's Jones who is once again sent into the post. Jones then defies the long-established pro wrestling laws of physics by simply... stopping dead in his tracks, less than a foot from the post. Jones spins toward Odin and points to his noggin. A hobbled Odin angrily charges toward Jones and attempts a big boot. Jones ducks it and counters by grabbing hold of Odin and tossing him to the arena floor with a T-Bone suplex.
Zach Davis: Rev The Engine! Jones hits Rev The Engine on Odin! He can't go for the pin because they're outside on the floor, but what a timely and devastating move that was!
Shannan Lerch: Odin is becoming well-acquainted with the arena floor. I think that he may have pulled ahead of Jones at this point in terms of total damage taken in this match.
Jones takes a moment to recover before rolling the World Champion and himself into the ring, just beating Slappy's ten-count. Jones covers Odin and hooks one of the champion's long legs for added leverage.
Slappy Johnson: ONE...
Zach Davis: Odin got his shoulder up! Jones looks distraught. He really thought he had this match won, but give Odin credit for getting his shoulder up in time.
Shannan Lerch: We said it would take a monumental effort for any man to claim the World Title from Odin and that's proving to be true. Jones is close, but can he finish it? Can he finally grab that brass ring and become World Champion for the first time in his career?
Zach Davis: He looks like he's going for it! Jones is on his feet and he's stalking the World Champion, just waiting to pounce!
Odin gets to his feet and Jones immediately jumps on him and locks in the Jonesmission. The crowd explodes with a mixture of cheers and boos, but EVERYBODY is on their feet.
Zach Davis: Jonesmission! Jones has the Jonesmission locked in on Odin! If Jones can coax the tap from Odin he will be the new WCF World Champion!
Shannan Lerch: Odin is fighting it with every ounce of strength that he has left! This isn't a Full Nelson -- Odin knows he can't stay in the Jonesmission for long or he'll be forced to tap or go to sleep!
Zach Davis: And that damage that we talked about, the damage from that Full Nelson was a precursor to this moment right here! This is what Jones wanted!
Odin swings wildly with both arms, trying to fight his way out of Jones' grip, but the wily Scotsman is not easing up one bit. Jones knows this is HIS chance to become World Champion and he's using every ounce of HIS remaining strength to keep the Jonesmission locked in tight. Odin eyes the turnbuckles in the corner of the ring and he gets an idea. Odin begins trying to muscle Jones into the corner for an avalanche like he did earlier in the match, in a desperate bid to escape this painful submission hold.
Zach Davis: Odin is trying to shove Jones backwards into those turnbuckles, but I don't know if he has enough left in him! Every moment that Odin is locked in the Jonesmission, he's losing strength and oxygen!
With a burst of energy, Odin slams Jones into the corner turnbuckles and breaks free from the Jonesmission. Despite being hobbled, Odin wastes little time for recovery. The World Champion spins around, kicks Jones in the midsection and drags him out to mid-ring. Odin shoves Jones' head between his legs and the crowd can sense that the end is near as a hush falls over the Arena. Odin lifts Jones high into the air and brings him down with a MASSIVE jackknife powerbomb, the Mark of Odin! Odin sticks with Jones, grabs him by the throat and pulls him back to his feet. Odin lifts Jones up once more and hits Ragnarok, his devastating chokebreaker. Jones' spine is all jacked up and he appears to be out for good this time.
Zach Davis: Bad Motha Fucka combo by the Bad Motha Fucka, Odin Balfore! That's gotta be it!
Odin sneers as he drapes his body on top of Jones for the pin attempt, grinding his elbow into Jones' face for good measure.
Slappy Johnson: ONE...
Odin's music hits the PA and he grabs his World Championship belt and holds it high above his head with one hand to a mixed reaction from the fans.
Zach Davis: Odin Balfore retains the World Title in a hellacious battle with Lawnmower Jones! You were hoping for a heavyweight slugfest, Shannan, as we all were and we got it! Jones was game, but he took an ungodly amount of punishment in this match and I don't know when we're going to see him again.
Shannan Lerch: Meanwhile, Odin adds another victim to his hitlist. While some might ask "Who's next?" for the Maverick Elite, this Norse Wrecking Machine, my question is "Why bother?" I don't think anyone can stop Odin right now!
"Locust" by Machine Head, once again, hits the PA, and out walks Corey Black. He's still got the black hoodie and jeans on, but his right hand is in the sleeve of the sweatshirt.
Zach Davis: Oh boy, here we go! I guess Seth may have been right! Corey Black is coming out! And look, he's hiding his hand... don't forget, last week Odin said he'd punch Corey right in the face, and he did just that.
Shannan Lerch: And it was wonderful.
Corey calmly walks to the ring, Odin smiling and waiting for him. Black rolls in, and gets face to ... well chest, with Odin. Balfore is pointing at Corey's hand which is still in the sleeve, mocking brass knucks on his own hand.
Zach Davis: Corey is packing heat!
Corey Black drops his hand out of the sleeve and brings it to Odin's face. Whatever is on Corey's hand... it's red and gold... with his left hand, Corey quickly presses a button, and two plastic missiles launch into Odin's face!
Shannan Lerch: Oh JESUS CHRIST, it was the Iron Man toy!
Indeed, the fabled Iron Man wrist mounted toy has made it's return, and Corey shot Odin with the toy missiles! Odin is FURIOUS, he tries to grab CD but Corey ducks the bear hug attempt and goes behind... BOOM! Forearm to the back of Odin's neck with the plastic Iron Man toy! It doesn't do much of any damage, but it sets Odin off!
Zach Davis: I have no idea what in the hell Corey is doing! He's only pissing Odin off more, and these two men will meet in the ring at the UWA Supershow on Thursday!
Corey quickly rolls out of the ring and runs through the crowd before Odin can get him. Balfore is visibly beet red with anger, pointing at Corey Black in the crowd. Corey high fives members of the crowd as Slam is about to come to a close-
Before Slam can go off the air, the lights go out.
Zach Davis: What is this?
The jumbotron lights up and a voice begins talking, while the words are displayed on the screen.
Voice: Are you ready for a shocking return? A three time Tag Team Champion, the longest reigning Hardcore Champion of all time, and with Four World Title reigns to his name, he'll be returning once again to the WCF wrestling ring..
The fans are buzzing...
Voice: NEXT WEEK ON SUNDAY NIGHT SLAM... TORTURE RETURNS!
Shannan Lerch: WHAT!?
Zach Davis: NO WAY!
Crowd mostly cheers.
Voice: TORTURE RETURNS TO THE WRESTLING RING. WHAT WILL THE MOST HATED MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING HAVE TO SAY TO THE CROWD AND HIS ENEMIES IN THE BACK? WILL IT BE A JOYOUS OCCASION, OR WILL HE BRING THE ATTITUDE THAT CAUSED HIM TO BE KNOWN AS THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL MAN IN WCF HISTORY?
Shannan Lerch: Fans, we're out of time, goodnight, see you at Aftermath!
Slam fades to black.