Slam starts outside the arena where there appears to be some kind of raucus going on outside of it. Nobody in the building knows what's going on, until a large group is seen with a bunch of signs out there. Some fans are passing by, not knowing exactly what's going on. But, a few stop to see what is going on.
"THIS IS A PROTEST!"
Marina Valdivia is seen with a group of about 20 people behind her. They are all wearing pink to show solidarity and to stand out among everyone else.
Marina Valdivia: Before you all get back inside to watch your little wrestling show, you will listen to what I have to say! Yes, it is I, Marina Valdivia! Remember me? Oh wait, you don't recognize me do you? I mean, I did go back to my natural hair color and went from an unhealthy size zero to about a size 2, size 4. Yeah, best 18 pounds I ever gained in my life! But, we are here to PROTEST the NONSENSE that goes on in WCF, especially with how women are treated! You people in the WCF "Galaxy" are blinded by the nonsense you watch every Sunday night, and you need to be enlightened on what's really going on!
The fans greet her with boos, as they're not fond of what she's doing!
Marina Valdivia: Yeah, go ahead and boo me! But the fact of the amtter is, Seth Lerch is the WORST boss in wrestling history! Five months ago, I was fired WITHOUT CAUSE! He couldn't even be a man and fire me to my face. He had to do it like a PUSSY through his ring announcer, Kyle Steel. And what was that reason? Because I beat up Eric Price too much? Oh, all of a sudden, I can't do that, yet Jayson Price can concuss Chelsea Armstrong on a set of steps? Yet, Chelsea can kidnap someone else's brother and basically murder them? Yet, WCF holds an event called XIII every year in a match that's supposed to be BRUTAL.... SO BRUTAL... in fact, that there STILL isn't footage from that Thailandian deathmatch from June! And yet, I can't beat up Eric Price too much. PLEASE!
Marina Fan: PLEASE! It's BULLSHIT! Seth Lerch isn't a MAN!
Marina Fan #2: Hell no he's not a man! He treated Marina UNFAIRLY! How in the hell does Marina, despite winning against the likes of Oblivion, Johnny Reb, Eric Price, just to name a few, get CONSTANTLY passed up for title shots like she was, for people with an EIGHTH of her talent.
Marina Valdivia: I KNOW, RIGHT? How many times was Buzz Worthy granted a fucking title shot, and constantly lose them, and yet, I had to sit on the sidelines and "wait my turn" while people like Worthless and fucking ARABELLA MONTGOMERY get title shots at my expense?
Other Woman: IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!
Marina Valdivia: SHUT UP, Jazmin! ANYWAY, Seth Lerch is a gutless coward who would NEVER, EVER have the testicular fortitude to be a REAL boss. There's a reason why your world champion made those "Crying Seth" comics.
The 20 fans in support of her start booing when WCF Interviewer Hank Brown comes into the scene.
Hank Brown: So... I've been sent here to cover this protest.... Marina... I have to ask you.... WHY are you doing this?
Marina doesn't answer and gives him a cold shoulder.
Hank Brown: Silence isn't an answer Marina, the WCF Galaxy has to know. Why #ProtestSlam2014 ??? Is this really all about standing up for your gender, or is it really a result of a bruised ego?
Allison Mayberry: Hank, Hank, Hank.... listen, Marina will not answer the questions of those that she feels are unworthy of her time. So, if you want to communicate with her, you'll have to go through ME. I AM her publicist, after all. I can take questions.
Marina Valdivia: Don't answer them, Allison. I refuse to communicate with anyone from this company.
Hank Brown: Well, I thought maybe Marina would like to know that Seth sent me to tell her that she's invited to ONE, to have a match....
Allison Mayberry: REALLY? So, he couldn't come out here and tell her to her face? He had to say that through YOU?
Hank Brown: He DOES have a show to run...
Allison Mayberry: STILL, it's a bunch of crap.
Hank Brown: All the fans want to know is if Marina is going to accept Seth's offer or not.
Marina turns around and slaps the taste right out of Hank Brown's mouth. The fans that saw that are stunned to see it. She looks at Allison and just shrugs at her.
Allison Mayberry: Marina says that... she'll think about it and will have an answer tonight! Now, SCRAM!
Hank Brown, holding his face, does just that. With that, the protest continues.
Marina Valdivia: SETH LERCH IS MY BITCH! HE STILL REFUSES TO SEE ME FACE TO FACE! FIRE SETH LERCH!!!!!!!!! BUY HIM OUT! GIVE THIS COMPANY NEW LEADERSHIP IT SORELY NEEDS!!!!
Marina looks down at a tomato that fell right in front of her.
Marina Valdivia: NICE AIM, ASSHOLE!
And now, we return to our regularly scheduled programming.
The scene opens up to a desk with Eric Price on one side of the desk and Roy Speede on the other side. Deuce Murdock is standing behind Eric Price, as Eric Price and Roy Speede are signing papers. Both men exchange papers, and they sign each copy. After both men finish signing the contracts, Deuce takes both copies and signs on both copies of the contract. Gonzo then looks up and says...
Deuce Murdock: It is done...
Both Eric and Roy get to their feet and exchange a handshake across the desk, before they both move from the desk, and exchange a "bro-hug". Eric then says...
Eric Price: Welcome to the best representation in the WCF.
Roy Speede: Feels good to have a direction. Next stop, One.
Deuce Murdock: Speaking of that...
Deuce opens his coat to reveal the WCF US Title around his waist. Roy then turns to meet the gaze of Murdock, as he says...
Deuce Murdock: I know I wasn't out there to oversee the match making, but be rest assured that you belong in this match. I don't know about Zombie, but you belong. I guess I'm trying to say that whatever happens between us, its not personal. Its just business.
Roy Speede: Well, I intend to NOT let those boudle-assed buffoons get a hold of the US Title. Don't get me wrong, I want that title, but I want Zombie to NOT get that title even more. This title stays with Armageddon Now, period.
Deuce and Roy exchange a handshake, followed by a "bro-hug", as Deuce says...
Deuce Murdock: So we're all on the same sheet of music. Alright, I'm going to go watch "Axe Cop" now. Can somebody let me know when my match is up?
Before anybody answers, Deuce finds a television in the corner of the office and turns on the television, as Roy and Eric shake hands on the deal.
Eric Price: Welcome to Armageddon Now Roy! We are more than appreciative the Silver Lining among our ranks. And Roy, I know you and I have had some issues in the past and we may have not always seen eye to eye but I'm willing to look past that as I'm sure you are because Zombie McMorris, he does not deserve to be the US Champion and THAT ... that we can agree upon!
Slam fades to commercial as Speede gets ready for his match.
The lights go out in the arena. After several seconds, words written in a bright white begin flashing on the otherwise blackened out Jumbotron. With each fading word, a new word pops up on the screen.
As the last word fades, all five words reappear on the jumbotron at once.
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!?!
The lights slowly come back on as 'Hear Me Now' by Hollywood Undead begins to play through the speakers as Roy Speede steps out on stage. He crosses his arms in an X across his chest, with his right arm underneath his left, and his hands in his fists. He bows his head for several seconds, and his chin rests in the gap between his fists.
Kyle Steel: Introducing, from Richmond, Virginia, Wrestling Championship Federation's own Silver Lining, he is ROY SPEEEEDE!!
Roy drops his right arm, and raises his left arm in the air, with his pointer, middle, and pinky fingers extended, and his ring finger and thumb tucked into his palm. His palm is facing the crowd. He drops his arm, and begins jogging to ringside, high-fiving fans as he goes, before climbing onto the apron, and then climbing the outside of the turnbuckle. He raises his left arm, with the same fingers extended as when he was on stage. He leaps from the turnbuckle into the ring.
Zach Davis: The Silver Lining Invitational comes to a close here with Roy Speede vs Captain Sparrow Jackson.
Freddy Whoa: You can say that, but Speede literally just got matched up with a nobody here!
Speede paces back and forth waiting for Jackson. "He's a Pirate" begins to play, but the Captain doesn't come out. Speede looks up, confused, and the jumbotron lights up as the music cuts out.
Zach Davis: What?
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! What the hell?!
The Jumbotron shows Sparrow Jackson, laid out on the ground, completely unconscious and gushing blood. His hat is on the ground with his sword stabbed through it. Speede watches, and growls.
Roy Speede: What the hell?! Who the...
Slowly the screen fades, the arena lights dim, and the image that was on screen is replaced by bright white text in a bloody sort of font.
You do not belong in the WCF...
Get out now, or your fate will be much worse than this...
Last week was JUST a taste...
You will meet your end.
Speede shakes his head in a confused state, and as the lights come back on, he sees a shadowy figure on the stage. Speede steps back, and the figure bolts toward the ring. Speede ricochets off the far ropes and times it to hit a cross body as the figure rolls into the ring, but the figure just slingshots Speede over the top rope. Speede lands on his back on the ground, and scurries to his feet outside the ring before backing up the ramp. The figure steps through the ropes and takes off up the ramp, and Speede turns to hurry away. As he rounds a corner, the figure is in hot pursuit, but it laid out with the crack of a baseball bat to the skull, and Speede drops his bat and walks away, for now...
Zach Davis: It's time for two of WCF's newest starts to battle; Michael King verses Sin Rostro, Jr!
"Invincible" by Adelitas Way plays. As the song kicks into the next gear, King comes out, his back to the crowd , his hood up and arms outstretched, so the crown on the back of his hooded jacket is visible. King turns sharply, now facing the crowd, his hood still up and walks down the ramp. Around 40 seconds in, when the song quiets down, King enters the ring, and stands on the second turnbuckle. As the song hits the chorus, King pulls down the hood, and lets the music get him hyped and in the zone for his match. King motions toward the ramp, challenging his opponent to get out here faster.
Sin Rostro Jr must have noticed, because he comes running out full speed and slides into the ring, meeting Michael King with rights and lefts! King fights back! The crowd is going wild for the brawl!
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! These two newcomers sure are going at it!
The scuffle continues until the lights in the arena go out. Flat black, some random camera flashes, but other than that, nothing.
Zach Davis: The overly cliche lights going out! But why in the middle of this match, of all the matches?
Following customs, the lights come back on, and standing in the ring is none other than Corey Black. The crowd pops, the ref pops, Zach and Freddy pop.
Freddy Whoa: WOO!
Zach Davis: WOO!
Ref Stanley Moser: WOO!
Sin Rostro Jr: WOO!
Rostro peaces out of the ring, Corey Black waves to him as he leaves. Michael King, however, steps right up to Corey, chest out, looking to battle.
Freddy Whoa: Word is this Michael King only wants to fight the best. He's standing toe to toe with the King of All Wrestlers, it doesn't get much better than Corey Black!
King isn't happy about his match being interrupted, Stanley Moser just calls it off, walking to the back. Corey waves to Stanley as he leaves. Michael King begins yelling at Corey Black, something about wanting to fight, stuff about things that would have been said this week if King showed up, Skittles are the best candy. King thinks so, anyway, because he's now screaming about Tropical Skittles. Maybe the cameras aren't picking up the audio. Corey Black shrugs.
And Michael King is now a pile of skin and bones in the middle of the ring. The crowd pops. Zach and Freddy pop, Stanley Moser at the top of the ramp pops. Corey Black calls for a mic pops just for the hell of it.
Corey Black: WOO! So, I hear there's a big show coming up soon. Something called "One" ... never heard of it. I think it's sponsored by Skittles. Delicious little nuggets of glory. Anyway, nobody is worthy enough to battle me on the biggest stage we have, so I have to scrape the bottom of the barrel. I've left the choice up to management, but believe me when I say this: I'm going to kill someone at One! Definitely not Michael King, though, I already murderized that guy. Cool, that's all I wanted. Bye.
Corey Black awkwardly drops the microphone and everyone pops again, just because. And we fade to commercial.
The camera cuts to Market Square Arena's parking lot, where fans gather in some minor confusion at the impromptu vendor booth that has opened up from the back of a shiny black custom classic Jeep Gladiator. At the center of the crowd is the hulking shape of WCF's veteran rookie, Maelstrom.
Maelstrom: Step right up! Step right up! Get'cher Maelstrom t-shirts here! Maelstrom postahs! Maelstrom DVD's! Step right up!
One heavyset fan walks up. Maelstrom immediately points to him.
Maelstrom: You sir! Yer lookin' like ya need a Human Hellstorm hoodie! Thirty-five dollars!
Fan: Got any Vapor Kings shirts?
Maelstrom: Maelstrom shirts? I got plenty! Three-XL for you?
Fan: No! Vapor Kings!
Maelstrom: Hearin' ain't so good. You wanted a poster with that?
Maelstrom fixes the fan with a look. Money changes hands, and the fan leaves with a Maelstrom tshirt. Maelstrom sticks the bills in the pocket of his zip hoodie, and his big grin returns.
Maelstrom: T-shirts! Getcher t-shirts! Five dollars, limited run! Amaze yer friends, crush yer enemies! T-shirts!
A pack of adorable college-age girls walks up. One pulls out a cellphone.
Girl: Can we take a picture with you?
Maelstrom: A'right! Get in close!
The girls do one of those group of college girls poses with Maelstrom in the middle. One girl flinches as though she were goosed, just as the flash goes off. Maelstrom motions for the phone to inspect the picture. He nods with approval, and with a squeak of protest from the girl he pulls out a white paint pen and autographs the screen.
Maelstrom: A'right! Have a nice night, ladies! T-shirts! Getcher t-shirts!
Suddenly another familiar figure appears. The six foot four figure is Dan Van Slade who pushes a young girl out of his way. Another man shouts: "QUEER!" Van Slade flicks him off. He turns to Maelstrom and dons his familiar self-advertisement: a t-shirt that reads "KING OF DEVIANTS" in bold white text. The shirt stops at the waist where it meets a pair of faded black Arizona jeans. He runs his fingers through his shoulder-length, black curly hair. He hasn't shaved in weeks.
Dan smiles and points at Maelstrom.
Dan Van Slade: Well...look at this mother-fuckin' entrepreneur...
Dan walks up to automobile and Maelstrom smiles.
Maelstrom: Dan Van Slade! Was lookin' forward 'ta meetin' ya, pal!
The Human Hellstorm attempts to shake His Royal Deviousness' hand, but Van Slade extends a fist and looks for 'dap' instead. Maelstrom doesn't seem too impressed with Van Slade's version of a handshake, but the veteran reaches forward punches Dan's fist.
Maelstrom: (to the crowd) A'right, folks! Gotta take inventory! Find another booth an' enjoy the show!
The crowd disperses slowly as Maelstrom starts pulling shirts off his table. Vam Slade grabs a shirt, unfolds it, and curiously studies it.
Dan Van Slade: You don't think that 'the man' is going to crack down on you for selling this unofficial contraband?
Maelstrom: They ain't got nothin' official for me. I knew a guy that knew a guy that had tons of old stuff with my face on it.
Van Slade retrieves a DVD copy of the Cinemax B-film "Caged Vixens" known for boobs of the early millenium, and a two-minute scene for Maelstrom. He had no dialogue.
Maelstrom: Hey, when I asked for stuff, they sent STUFF! So what's the plan here tonight?
Dan Van Slade: You're slingin' corn to steak-hungry cannibals, my friend. The fans of WCF? We're talkin' about a few million individuals constantly starving for mor; and that more is defined by a blinding realization that with greatness comes the consequence of wanting better than greatness.
Maelstrom stares blankly at Dan. Crickets.
Dan Van Slade: Brass tacks - this shit just isn't going to cut it. Let me put it to you straight - since I've been with this company - all I've noticed is a bunch of punk ass characters that are out of their God damned minds. That doesn't sound that bad, right? After all - this is professional wrestling. These assholes are so fucked up, and are so complex, that selling this Goodwill material will probably get you placed on an ice cold slab. But, then again - I'm certain you'll try to sell me on another ideology. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I'm not much of a team player. I'm here to do the exact same thing that everybody else is doing - kick the trick out of a bitch. So, save your breath, and perhaps take up another side job.
Dan snaps his fingers in front of Maelstrom.
Dan Van Slade: Keep up with me, sir. Let's talk current events. The Poondock Saints. Fuckin' piece of shit Bobby Cairo, and even more of a piece of shit, Kaz Mazy. I've got a Pimp breathing down my neck as if I've got a debt with one of his ratchet ass Hoekland broads. It might start to smell a tad pungent tonight - because shit is going to hit the fan. I need you to stay focused. This is quite a conundrum you've somehow weaseled your way into. So, be alert, bring a fuckin' Hellstorm, and if Steve Orbit comes anywhere near the ring you just open a hole so I can charge like a God damned juggernaut and fuck that bitch-ass' world all up.
Maelstrom: Hey, far as I care the whole show's yours, pal. All I'm about tonight is showin' Indianapolis, an' the rest a'the world watchin' at home, that the Human Hellstorm has arrived!
Dan Van Slade: Bring it.
Maelstrom: I'm here 'ta bleed an' shed blood, pal. For you, for the fans, for the glory a'the match itself. There ain't gonna be nothin' left if I have my way.
Dan Van Slade: Remember - you'll have to eventually go through me to make that happen. For now - leave me Orbit and the WCF Hardcore title. It's clearly obvious that I'm going to fuck him up. Now, pack this shit up and let's roll - we got a lot of ass to kick tonight...
Dan extends his fist for dap.
Dan Van Slade: Dap it up. Hit the rock. Don't smoke it. Shatter that shit. Don't be shy. Buckle those knuckles and shake'n'bake...
Maelstrom takes a deep breath, tilts his head, and then slowly extends his fist and punches Dan in the knuckles.
Dan Van Slade: Let's get to work...
Maelstrom nods. Van Slade grins deviously. Cut.
The lights go off as the screen goes to static and 515 by Slipknot soars around the arena as a voice shouts the word death as horrific imagery flashes across the screen till everything goes black and black smoke covers the stage and ramp and blood drips onto the screen spelling out Seifer Black Armstrong... Suddenly Babylon AD by Cradle of Filth blasts out from the speakers and from the smoke a hand reaches up with a black light lamp placing it on the stage as Seifer climbs out of the stage his face paint and parts of his clothing glowing under the black light as he kneels on the stage.
Kyle Steel: Introducing from Toronto Ontario Canada, representing S-Pac... The Doomsday Prophet Seifer Black-Armstrong!!!
Zach Davis: Does he NOT pay attention? S-PAC IS DEAD!!! AND DIVORCED!
Freddy Whoa: Dude, he's a regular Ron Burgundy! He'll read whatever you give him... Thinking about this, what man takes a woman's last name in marriage?
Zach Davis: Well, in that case... I got something for Kyle Steel to read!
Zach Davis starts scribbling notes as Seifer grabs the light with his mouth he crawls through the smoke for a moment before standing up and taking the lamp in his hand before slowly walking down the ramp. Reaching the bottom of the ramp he turns off the lamp and the ring is bathed in black light he leaps up onto the ring apron the light illuminating him again as he walks over to the turnbuckles climbing up placing one foot on the top turnbuckle keeping one on the second and making the sign of the cross with his arms and tipping his head back before spitting luminous liquid in the air. Leaping off the top turnbuckle into the ring as he hits the ground fire erupts from the turnbuckles and ground creating fire crosses on each side of the ring... As the fire fades the lights go back to normal and Seifer walks into the corner of the ring and sits there waiting for the match to start.
Zach Davis: Tell me Seifer isn't creepy.
Freddy Whoa: I can't say that, because he IS creepy.
NAS' "The Message" hits the P.A. When the beat drops, red fireworks blast off in an x and, through the smoke, Hardcore Alex emerges, bobbin his head and waving his arms to the beat. He has a confident gait, which he abandons at the top of the ramp and begins a little routine. He uprocks for a minute before dropping into some groundwork, finishing with an elbow freeze before kipping back onto his feet.
Kyle Steel: And his partner, from Rochester, New York. He weighs in at a "straight-up cut" 175 pounds. HARDCORE ALEX!!!
He resumes his confident strut down the aisle, bobbing his head and bouncing to the beat. He slides under the bottom rope, rolls onto his back, and windmills up to his feet. After dancing around to the beat, he climbs a turnbuckle and throws up the horns before jumping down in a 180 to a seated position in the turnbuckle.
Zach Davis: This young man is slowly gathering some momentum here in the WCF. It may be a matter of time before he becomes a major contender here for one of our titles.
Freddy Whoa: It may be a bit early for that, but I see him going places. And no, not to the unemployment line.
"Star Wars" begins to play, as Brian Lin comes out from behind the curtain, flashing his braces as he does. Zach Davis hands Kyle Steel new cue cards, before Steel announces Brian Lin's arrival...
Kyle Steel: Hailing from the nearest unemployment office after this upcoming match, he is a wrestler that nobody cares for. His piss-poor attitude can go elsewhere, as that weighs more than his 160 pound frame from Seattle, Washington! This is "The Braceface Brat" Brian Lin, taking his ball home crying after the match!
As he hits the ring, he removes his glasses and puts on his goggles, as his jaw clenches with anger at the announcement of his arrival to the match. Freddy looks at Zach Davis, as he says...
Freddy Whoa: I can't believe that Kyle Steel read all of that...
Zach Davis: I told him that Seth wanted him to read that, or he was fired.
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! That's fucked up!
The bell sounds, as Hardcore Alex stands in as the first man in the ring for his team, while Seifer Black looks preoccupied. Both Braceface and Destroyer are arguing over who goes into the match first, before Destroyer swings at Lin and Lin retaliates with a bite to his face! Lin lets go, and kicks Destroyer in the head, into a waiting Hardcore Alex, who nails the Hardcore Appetizer...
Zach Davis: And down goes Destroyer! After getting attacked by his own partner!
Freddy Whoa: And the pinfall attempt...
Zach Davis: And the match is not going to end that fast.
Hardcore Alex is back on his feet, and he stomps away at Ultimate Destroyer, before he tags in Seifer, who immediately takes to a turnbuckle, coming down on Ultimate Destroyer with an axehandle smash before he could retain a vertical position. Seifer wisely starts working on the legs, slamming them into the mat and kicking them, as Brian Lin just stands on the ring apron, watching as Ultimate Destroyer is getting pulled apart.
Zach Davis: I can't believe that disrespectful asshole is even here! Why not leave and save yourself the embarassment?
Freddy Whoa: So you don't get over. Big fucking deal. We're sorry that the fans are not comfortable with you in ladies clothing!
Seifer tags in Hardcore Alex, as they have effectively cut the ring in half for the Ultimate Destroyer. Alex has now locked in a figure four leglock on the Ultimate Destroyer, as he groans and tries to roll the submission hold. Alex continues to flex his legs and lift himself up, causing leverage on the Ultimate Destroyer, and making his rolls futile. The Ultimate Destroyer drops to the mat, as the referee starts to count...
Ultimate Destroyer sits himself up, and punches Hardcore Alex in the face, before dropping down, and popping back up, again hitting Hardcore Alex in the face. Ultimate Destroyer pops up one more time, and this time grabs him first by the throat, then by the face, as Hardcore Alex releases the hold, while the referee is counting for a break...
Ultimate Destroyer breaks the hold, but not before Seifer Black inserts himself, smashing into Ultimate Destroyer, but also smashing into Hardcore Alex, before falling out of the ring himself. Ultimate Destroyer starts moving towards the corner with his partner...
Freddy Whoa: And Lin has his hand out, waiting for the tag...
Zach Davis: Fuck that guy...
Freddy Whoa: He'll be gone soon enough. And there's the tag, and Brian Lin nails The Ultimate Destroyer AGAIN! This time with a DDT!
Brian Lin then follows up with an inverted legsweep on a recovering Hardcore Alex, before he slingshots himself over the ropes onto a recovering Seifer Black. Brian then flashes his braces at the fans and the announcer table, before he goes over and spits on Zach Davis and the rest of the announcers at the table, before he walks away. Zach Davis takes off his headset, as Freddy says...
Freddy Whoa: No! He ain't worth it, man! He ain't worth it!
Back in the ring, Hardcore Alex stomps towards Destroyer, ready to put him away. Alex picks Destroyer up but Destroyer shoves him away. Alex runs at Destroyer and Destroyer kicks him in the gut, doubling over, before hitting a Snap Powerbomb!
Zach Davis: Vicious!
Into the pin.
Freddy Whoa: Despite Bryan Lin leaving, Ultimate Destroyer picks up the win!
The bell sounds as Destroyer gets to his feet.
Back to the protest, where obviously, there are no fans, as they are all inside. It's darker, and colder, but that's not going to stop Marina from continuing her protest as she raises a "HONK IF WCF SUCKS" over her head. Jazmin, who Marina had told to shut up earlier, is holding a sign that says "MARINA = CONSPIRACY VICTIM!"
Allison Mayberry: You want to talk to the WCF Galaxy, Marina?
Marina Valdivia: Why should I?
Allison Mayberry: That offer.... for that ONE match.... you know....
Marina Valdivia: Please! It's probably an insulting offer. Probably against someone like Biohazard for god's sake.
Allison Mayberry: You do have other stuff on your mind too.
Marina Valdivia: True.... you got a mic, right?
Allison reaches into the "crowd of 20" and one of them hands her a microphone.
Allison Mayberry: Always prepared!
She clears her throat.
Allison Mayberry: So, Marina... have you made a decision on that ONE match yet?
Marina Valdivia: Nope.
Allison Mayberry: Is that "nope" on a decision, or are you declining?
Marina Valdivia: Nope, on the decision. I will have my answer later.
Allison Mayberry: So, those worthless ingrates that constitute the WCF Galaxy REALLY want to know why you're not in WCF anymore.
Marina Valdivia: Why? Because.... that locker room is full of chauvinistic, perverted, BASTARDS! You think that's a safe working environment for a woman like me? Hell no! Now, to the smart fans that were behind me like my people right here, don't worry. I'm STILL wrestling. Just... somewhere else that's worth my time, because WCF sure as hell isn't worth it. So.... since I got fired.... I... (scoffs) became too good for this company. Really, a decent chunk of this protest is JUST because I CAN!
Allison Mayberry: Do you feel that Seth Lerch is the only one that screwed you?
Marina Valdivia: Rephrase that question, please.
Allison Mayberry: Do you feel that Seth Lerch is the only one that held you back?
Jazmin (from a distance): YES!!!!! SHE DOES!!!! YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IT WAS A CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marina and Allison: SHUT UP JAZMIN!!!!!!
Marina Valdivia: Anyway, there WAS Eric Price, you know. I would have been the United States champion if it wasn't for him. See, the deal is.... I WANTED this WCF thing to work. I put my heart and soul into WCF every single week, and where did it get me? Tossed aside, like a piece of meat, never taken seriously by the boys in the back, treated like a worthless sex object... and never appreciated..... and now Seth wants to invite me to do a match at ONE? COME ON! It's INSULTING... and yet..... wouldn't it be nice to get in there just one last time just to stick it to him?
Allison Mayberry: Well, that IS your call! So, when are we going to know?
Marina Valdivia: Soon.... quite soon!
Walking Bystander: WCF RUUUUUUUUUUUUULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marina Valdivia: FUCK YOU!!!!!!
A car drives by and honks!
Marina Valdivia: YEAH! That's right! HONK IF WCF SUCKS! I am a victim of sexual harassment! Spread the word! #PROTESTSLAM2014! Get the word out there that we women are no longer going to tolerate being seen as sex objects by this god forsaken company! Allison, we're done here for now....
Allison Mayberry: Alright....
Group of 20: WCF SUCKS! JUSTICE FOR MARINA! WCF SUCKS! JUSTICE FOR MARINA!
Allison Mayberry: How about a "Deuce-Bag" chant, yeah?
Group of 20: DEUCE-BAG! DEUCE-BAG! DEUCE-BAG! DEUCE-BAG!
Marina Valdivia: That's exactly what this company's US Champion is. What a fucking tool!
Zach Davis: And welcome back to WCF Sunday Night Slam! Sponsored by Whoop-Ass Beer.
Freddy Whoa: That's right, Zach. Open up a can of Whoop-Ass!
The camera zooms in on both announcers, who each hold up a can, grinning cheesily. Tiny words appear on the bottom of the screen: "Whoop-Ass Beer is a subsidiary of Beckman Holdings, LLC. Please drink responsibly. On second thought, drink more so you can build up your tolerance, you f***ing p***ies!"
Zach Davis: Time for the next match!
Kyle Steel: The following match is sceduled for ONE FALL! And is to be contested under hardcore rules! No disqualifications, no holds barred! First to the ring... from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at two-hundred and thirty-five pounds.... JUSTIINN CAAAASH!!!!
The lights in the arena go black. The only light is the words "It's time" written in neon green on the titantron. Disturbed "Criminal" starts to play as the entrance lights up green. Out walks Justin Cash who has his back to the crowd. After a few moments green fireworks explodes revealing a money symbol. The lights turn back on. Justin spins around and throws both hands to the sky and then saunters to the ring. As he is walking to the ring he is bad mouthing the fans. He climbs into the ring and walks to a corner post climbs it and raises both middle fingers to the crowd.
Freddy Whoa: That is one disrespectful mofo.
Kyle Steel: AAAAND his opponent... from Madison, Wisconsin, weighing in at two-hundred and twenty pounds.... MAARRC MAY-HEM!!!!
The arena goes black and "Hail to the King" (by avenged sevenfold) plays over the PA. A spotlight illuminates the center of the ring. Marc walks out from behind the curtain. He runs down the ramp, fountains of red sparks shooting into the air every few feet with his passage. He slides under the ropes and makes a show of warming up in the spotlight for a moment before the house lights come back up.
Zach Davis: Referee Spanky O'Shaughnessy making sure both wrestlers understand the parameters of the match...and there's the bell! Cash wastes no time grabbing Mayhem by the back of the head and just pummeling his face with punches!
But Marc pushes him away easily and fires back a haymaker of his own. Justin Cash ducks! He springs back up, grapples Mayhem around the waist, lifts, twists, and tosses Marc over his shoulder.
Freddy Whoa: Almost casual, the way Cash manhandled Marc Mayhem there! Fifteen pounds and four inches gives him exponentially more leverage!
Zach Davis: That may be so, Freddy, but Mayhem is an experienced submission specialist.
Freddy Whoa: That's not gonna do him any good in a match like this, Zach...
So it would seem. Cash helps Mayhem to his feet, only to nail him with a sidewalk slam! He follows up by running at the ropes, bouncing off, rebounding a second time, and then dropping his elbow on his opponent...
Zach Davis: What an elbow drop! If Marc hadn't moved at the last second, we'd be scraping him off the canvas with a putty knife!
His wits recovered, Mayhem grabs Justin Cash and applies a crossface crippler, locking it in quick and applying as much pressure as he can. Cash yells in mingled pain and frustration, already straining for the ropes.
Zach Davis: See, Freddy? Experience. Mayhem has Cash almost dead center of the ring. He's going for the ropes, but he seems to have forgotten this is a no-disqualification match!
Cash struggles against the hold, trying to loosen Mayhem's grip; to no avail. He manages, however, to pull himself and his opponent an inch or two forward. Spanky O'Shaughnessy leans in to check on him; Cash waves him away. He strains, he pulls, he gains another inch. Mayhem's grip loosens, but not quite enough. The fans are on their feet now, pounding the crowd barrier, clapping in rhythm, encouraging the typically maligned Justin Cash.
With the fans uncharacteristically behind him, Cash summons his strength for one more mighty heave; simultaneously, Mayhem relinquishes his grip. Justin flies out of the ring like a stone from a slingshot and tumbles to the mats below. Marc Mayhem leans on the ropes, smiling at his opponent in smug satisfaction. Cash pulls himself to his feet, using the crowd barrier for support. Pushing away hands that reach out to him, he grabs a chair from the front row, folds it up, and tosses it into the ring. Mayhem turns to watch as it arcs over his head, giving Cash time to return to the ring unhindered. Marc turns back around, and --
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! Forearm right to the face!
Mayhem staggers backward, while Cash vaults over the ropes in pursuit. Marc nearly trips as his heel makes contact with the chair thrown in moments ago; he recovers, though, and picks it up, hefting it by the legs like a club. Justin runs at Mayhem...
Zach Davis: And that's payback for that forearm!
Freddy Whoa: And again... two chair shots to the face, and Justin Cash looks like he might be out on his feet!
Zach Davis: Make that three! Mayhem's winding up for another...
Freddy Whoa: FOUR! Four chair shots -- Ha ha ha!
From somewhere apparently inside is a rumble of thunder and a flash of lightning.
Zach Davis: What the hell was that about?
Freddy Whoa: Well, don't tell anyone, Zach, but the Count from Sesame Street is retiring, and I'm gonna audition to take his place.
Zach Davis: Are you f*BLEEP*ing kidding me?
Freddy Whoa: Do you know how much trim those Muppet handlers get?
Zach Davis: Pay attention to the damn match, Freddy.
Now slumped against the ropes, bleeding from a cut on his forehead, Justin Cash watches warily as Marc Mayhem winds up for another. With a sudden surge of strength, Cash gets a boot up just as Mayhem swings; forcing Marc to eat chair instead!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!
Zach Davis: Took the words right out of my mouth.
Justin hurries to his downed opponent and tries to capitalize with a pin.
But Mayhem kicks out right away. Cash gets to his feet and pulls Mayhem up with him, lifts, and drops him to the mat with a powerbomb. Again, he gets up and sets March up for a second -- when Mayhem fights out of it and kicks Cash in the gut. He grabs him in a waistlock and nails him with a gutwrench suplex!
Freddy Whoa: Looks like Lights Out for Justin Cash!
Instead of letting go, Marc Mayhem arches his back, pushing Cash's shoulders to the canvas.
ONE... TW-- NO!
Zach Davis: Justin Cash kicks out with authority! Which is ironic, because he usually has problems with authority.
Freddy Whoa: But Mayhem ain't done with Cash yet. He's got Justin's legs and he's applying a cloverleaf!
Zach Davis: He's got it locked in! Things aren't looking good for Justin Cash! Wait! There's that chair again!
Justin reaches for the previously discarded chair and just starts pounding on Marc with it, until Mayhem is forced to release the hold altogether. Cash grabs the nearest rope and drags himself under it, rolling to the outside to catch his breath. Not for long, however. Mayhem launches himself over the ropes right on top of Cash!
In a daze, both men struggle to their feet and start trading punches. Back and forth they battle; heedless of the myriad electrical cords strewn across the floor, the Spanish announce table, the crowd barrier, or any other obstacle. Cash knocks Mayhem over the guardrail and into the front row. Justin grabs a beer from a bystander and dumps it over Mayhem's head. Marc returns the favor when he snatches a half-eaten tray of nachos and smashes it right into Cash's face. They stop, briefly, and look at the mess they've made of each other. Mayhem smirks; Cash starts to snicker. Pretty soon, they're both laughing and pointing.
Without warning, the joyful mood evaporates as Marc grabs Justin's ponytail and forces his face into the ample bosom of a rather generously proportioned woman sitting nearby. Cash flails helplessly while Mayhem laughs at him. The audience member, much less amused at being used for an offensive weapon, grabs a can of pepper spray from her purse and waves it threateningly. Mayhem gets the hint and sprints away. Cash is slightly less fortunate. He places his hands right on the woman's breasts for leverage, pushing against her as he pulls away, the hardening nacho cheese on his face creating a suction seal. With a POP! Justin is free -- only to get maced.
Being a hardened criminal, Cash is entirely unaffected. He smacks the can of pepper spray out of her hand, grabs her purse, and jumps over the guardrail once again. Mayhem is waiting for him with an overhand strike that sends the stolen purse and its contents flying everywhere. He shakes his head and wags a finger at Cash as if scolding him. Then he hauls back with a fist -- but Justin Cash ducks it! He runs for the ring, but instead of climbing in, he lifts up the apron and grabs the first thing that comes to hand.
Freddy Whoa: Well, that was all bizarre. And now Cash has got a kendo stick!
Zach Davis: You know, kendo practitioners actually call that a shinai.
Freddy Whoa: Nobody asked, Zach. Cash is absolutely wailing on Mayhem with that kendo stick, and now Marc Mayhem is looking like he might be out on his feet. Cash drops the weapon and rolls Mayhem into the ring. There's a cover...
Zach Davis: But no count. Mayhem got out of that before the ref could even start. Marc Mayhem is back on his feet, although both competitors are looking much worse for the wear!
Swaying drunkenly, Mayhem beckons to his opponent, a smirk etched on a face rapidly swelling with discolored bruises. Cash grins, shakes his head, and crooks two fingers at Marc; with a shrug, Mayhem obliges. Justin Cash is waiting with a big boot that knocks the other man back, across the ring and into the opposing ropes. Cash follows after him. Mayhem waits, then slips to the outside and pulls down on the ropes in anticipation. Justin sees it in the nick of time and manages to stop himself.
Now Cash climbs up onto the second rope and snakes an arm around Marc Mayhem's head. He glances down, where the announce table waits, all shiny and unbroken; Freddy and Zach look up at him.
Freddy Whoa: Is he thinking what I think he's thinking, Zach?
Zach Davis: Undoubtedly, Freddy. We better move.
Mayhem isn't stupid, however. He latches his fingers onto the top rope for all he's worth. Cash solves this problem with another forearm to the face; then he pushes off with a modified sunset flip. The table barely slows the fall, shattering beneath the weight of both men. The audience goes completely nuts!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! I think they're dead!
For a moment, nobody moves. Referee Spanky O'Shaughnessy leaps adroitly from the ring and kneels to check on both wrestlers.
Zach Davis: You might be right... wait! No! There! Mayhem is moving! He's -- he's up! Sort of...
Mayhem staggers around in a half circle for a second, then stops, shakes his head, and stands up straight. Grinning with wicked malice, he picks up a piece of the table with the legs still attached and throws it with all his might at the stirring form of Justin Cash. Cash slumps back down. Marc grabs Cash's arm, hefts him up, and rolls him back into the ring.
Freddy Whoa: This may be the end of things here, Zach. It's been a hell of a match, and anybody's guess how it woulda gone. But there is no way either of these guys has anything left in the tank. Someone's going to have to make a pin!
Cash and Mayhem are clearly thinking the same thing. Before Marc can try for a pin, Cash struggles to an upright position. They stare at each other for a long moment.
Without warning, Marc rushes at Justin Cash. Expecting brawling tactics, Cash gets ready to defend, and is surprised when Mayhem goes for a waistlock and executes a gutwrench suplex. Then, instead of releasing, Mayhem gets back up and does it again; then a third time, just to be absolutely sure.
Zach Davis: And one more time, it's LIGHTS OUT! Mayhem with the cover...
Kyle Steel: And your winner.... MAARRC MAY-HEM!
Mayhem stands up and gets his arm raised, as his music plays over the speakers.
Freddy Whoa: What a match that was. I can not believe what Marc Mayhem and Justin Cash just put themselves through.
Marc Mayhem is standing in the ring when the lights go out and "Uprising" by Muse starts playing and the lights start flashing.
Freddy Whoa: It can't be?
Zach Davis: I think they're back.
The lights stay on and on each side of the ring are two men dressed in all black singlets with gold masks with a green star on them.
Zach Davis: It's the Super Destroyers!
Freddy Whoa: It's the Superfans!
Marc Mayhem looks confused as the masked men climb into the ring. All of a sudden Stanley Ewing walks out laughing. The masked men take off their masks.
Freddy Whoa: It's the Kings of Chaos, what are they doing out here?
Zach Davis: I think they've come to make a point all over Mayhem's face.
Both men charge Mayhem and smash him to the mat rather quickly. Stanley Ewing has now climbed into the ring. Stanley tells them to end it now. Marc Mayhem gets nailed with a Columbian Neck Tie.
Freddy Whoa: And here comes Adam Young! And now they have chairs!
Marc is being beaten by alternating chair shots from Chaz James and Adam Young. Justin Cash has wrestled Tom Joad’s chair away from him and cracks it over his head, sending him flying out of the ring. Justin turns around and sees Marc being beaten. He runs over and spears Adam Young and starts punching him while holding his head up. Chaz changes his attention from Marc to Justin. Chaz hits Justin in the back of the head with his chair. Both Marc and Justin and laid out in the center of the ring. Stanley Ewing grabs a microphone and kneels down next to Marc.
Stanley Ewing: We aren't here to play, we are here to create Chaos. See you at One boy.
"Hail to the king" by Avenged Sevenfold starts playing as the Kings of Chaos leave to massive amounts of boos from the crowd.
Freddy Whoa: These guys are on mission.
Slam comes back from commercial and WCF Owner Seth Lerch is standing in the ring. There is a table set up in the middle with a chair on each side of it. Two sets of papers are set up on the table with pens nearby. Seth has a mic in hand as he lifts it up.
Seth Lerch: So there's a match that's been brewing for a while between two of our popular stars here in WCF. One is poular to cheer for and the other is popular to boo for. It's time to put that match on the One show coming up here in a couple of weeks. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to sign the match that you have been wanting to see for a couple of months now....STEELTOE JOE VERSUS GRAVEDIGGER!!
The crowd cheers like crazy and the cheers get even louder as "Holy Wars...The Punishment Due" by Megadeth starts playing on the arena speakers. Out from the back walks Deuce Murdock, Eric Price, and finally Steeltoe Joe himself.
Zach Davis: Why is the whole group of Armaggedon Now, Inc. coming out?
Freddy Whoa: Why do you think? You think Gravedigger is coming out here alone?
The members of Armageddon Now, Inc. enter the ring and walk over to one side of the table, the side facing the entryway. Their music fades out and "Change" by Deftones starts playing. The crowd reaction goes from cheers to massive boos. Out from the back walks Gravedigger and if it was even possible for them to get louder, the boos get deafening. As expected, several members of MS-13 walk out from the back, flanking Gravedigger as he slowly walks down the ramp, taunting the crowd and STJ in the ring.
Gravedigger finally reaches the ring steps, walks up them, and starts to climb into the ring. He stops and points at Eric Price and Deuce Murdock. The three men tell Gravedigger to get in the ring. Digger points at the members of MS-13 staying on the outside and finally Deuce and Eric relent. They climb out of the ring, leaving only STJ and Seth in the ring. Gravedigger steps inside the ring and walks up to the table.
Seth lifts the mic up to speak once more as STJ and Gravedigger stare holes through each other.
Seth Lerch: So what we have here on the table is contracts for you to both sign. They are for a one-on-one match at One between you two. Steeltoe Joe versus Gravedigger. The fans have demanded the match and I'm sure both of you are practically foaming at the mouth to get in the ring together.
Both men nod as the crowd pops. Gravedigger makes the first move and signs his contract, causing a cheer from the crowd. Probably one of the few cheers Gravedigger has ever heard. Steeltoe Joe goes to sign his, but Gravedigger holds a hand up. STJ stops and the crowd boos at Gravedigger.
Zach Davis: Oh what now??
Gravedigger asks for the mic. Seth shakes his head, but Gravedigger snatches the microphone from him. Gravedigger lifts the mic to speak.
Gravedigger: You signing that contract and sealing the deal on this match isn't enough for me STJ. That's just not going to cut it. I look in your eyes and you know what I see? I see a guy that DOES want to get in the ring with me. A guy that wants to wrestle me. I see a guy that wants revenge for the attacks lately and for costing him his precious People's Title. That's not what I want at One though. I want you to sign that contract with a look of pure hatred in your eyes. Joe, I don't want you to wrestle me. At One, I want you to fight me. I want to finally bring that mean streak back out of you. That evil streak. I was hoping that costing you that belt the other week would be the tipping point for you, but....it looks like drastic measures will have to be taken.
STJ takes a fighting stance and both Deuce and Eric look like they're about to climb into the ring. Gravedigger hands the mic to Seth and walks over to the side of the ring and hops out among MS-13. The crowd looks confused.
Freddy Whoa: What the hell does that mean?!
As if on cue, the big screen lights up. It's a reporter standing in front of a fire.
Reporter: Thanks, Connie. This is Bryan Seacrest with KCRA LIVE here in Sacramento. We are standing in front a church that has caught fire. Wait hold on. I was just informed that this is the church that is run and owned by WCF wrestler Steeltoe Joe.
STJ drops the pen in his hand and looks at the big screen in shock. Eric Price and Deuce Murdock quickly climb into the ring and the three men stare at the screen in shock.
Bryan Seacrest: They're not sure how the fire started, but we're being told right now that the local fire departments are doing everything they can to get it under control. It's likely that the church itself will not be saved, but they're trying their best to keep it from spreading to the other nearby buildings...
The audio fades out and the video continues playing. Gravedigger and the members of MS-13 have jumped the guardrail and are walking up through the booing crowd. Back in the ring, STJ is fuming, a look of pure rage on his face. He's yelling at Gravedigger to get back in the ring. Seth is standing off to the side, his head in his hands. STJ storms across the ring, grabs a pen, and signs the contract. He slams the pen on the table and the crowd partially pops as most are still horrified at the video on the screen. The camera switches back to Gravedigger and MS-13. Digger looks down at STJ in the ring and shrugs, a sheepish look on his face. The camera quickly cuts back to STJ as he roars out in anger.
Zach Davis: Our next match up features two competitors who have bright futures in this company. Stuart Slane a former Internet and United States Champion.
Freddy Whoa: In fact "El Jefe de Tropa" Stuart Slane was named 2012 Internet Champion of the Year.
Zach Davis: But, The Scarecrow has an extremely bright future here in WCF.
A mariachi version of "Follow Me, Boys!" plays as Slane marches from gorilla. He makes his way down the ramp to the ring....
Kyle Steel: Coming down to the ring.... Hailing from Grant, Iowa... weighing in at 280 pounds... This is El Jefe de Tropa Stuart Slaaaaaaane!!!
Slane continues to power walk around before stomping up the steps. He wipes his feet on the ring apron and then enters the ring between the ropes. After moving to his corner and removing his hat and sash, Slane loosens up by engaging in some old time calisthenics. The crowd proceeds to boo at Slane.
Zach Davis: Sounds like that the WCF Galaxy will NOT be behind Stuart Slane in THIS match.
The lights die. The crowd begins to cheer. The sound of crows cawing echoes across the arena, their ear splitting sound reaching a crescendo. Cory’s voice slices through the cacophony; “The scarecrow...is here!” A beat later as, “Here comes the sun” by Ghost begins to play. As the slow melodic chords sing, a red spotlight appears on the ramp.
Kyle Steel: On the ramp, from Salem, New York... weighing in at 273 pounds...
Freddy Whoa: Both are big men!!
Kyle Steel: ....This is The Murder Machine.... The Scarecrow!!!
Cory is bathed in it’s hue, he whispers the words, “I am the Scarecrow”, before slowly beginning his procession down to the ring, the spotlight following him as he encircles the squared circle, measuring the opposition. Cory soaks up the heat before sliding inside the ring, adjusting his elbow pad as a way of foreshadowing what is to come. Cory slumps against a ring post and casually waves his opponent on.
Zach Davis: Stuart Slane is already charging at The Scarecrow.
Freddy Whoa: THIS match is officially underway.
Zach Davis: Slane charged at Scarecrow....
Freddy Whoa: SUPERKICK!!
Slane collapsed backwards. The cameraman made sure to zoom onto the face of El Jefe de Tropa, whose eyes became crossed.
Zach Davis: Scarecrow is making in a pin cover.
WCF Senior Referee Stanley Moser slides in for the pin attempt.
Crowd: ON-.... NOOOOOOO!!
Freddy Whoa: Not even a one count.
Scarecrow stands up very quickly takes a few steps to bounce off the rope...
Zach Davis: Running legdrop!!
Scarecrow drops an elbow.
Zach Davis: The Murder Machine drops a second elbow.
Scarecrow bends down to pick up Stuart Slane....
Slane connects with a throat thrust uppercut. Scarecrow stumbles back.
Freddy Whoa: Scarecrow goes down from a massive big boot from Stuart Slane.
Slane picks up his opponent.
Zach Davis: Stuart Slane has Scarecrow up in the air with an elevated Reverse chinlock.
Freddy Whoa: Scarecrow strikes his opponent with a couple of back elbows.
Scarecrow strikes another elbow to the skull of Stuart Slane. Scarecrow is dropped down to the mat...
Zach Davis: MEATHOOK CLOTHESLINE!!
Slane stumbles backwards...
Stuart Slane: AHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIITTTT!!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!! Scarecrow nailed Stuart Slane with a massive clothesline which knocked El Jefe de Tropa over the top ring rope!!
Zach Davis: STUART SLANE IS NOT MOVING!!!
The Scarecrow walks over to the ropes, grabbing the top rope looking down at Stuart Slane. Slane slowly begins to stand up. Scarecrow bolts to the rope, of the other end, of the ring. Scarecrow bolts to the other end, of the ring....
Freddy Whoa: Stuart Slane is standing up!!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
Zach Davis: SOMERSAULT PLANCHA!!!
Both The Murder Machine and El Jefe de Tropa quickly stand up.
WHAM-WHAM!! WHAM-WHAM!! WHAM-WHAM!! WHAM-WHAM!!
Crowd: KICK HIS ASS!! KICK HIS ASS!! KICK HIS ASS!!
Freddy Whoa: Both competitors are fighting tooth and nail against one another.
Slane nails a knee into the gut of Scarecrow and grabs The Murder Machine....
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!! PUMP-HANDLE GUT-BUSTER!!
Scarecrow is dropped hard on the ringside mats. Slane picks up[ his opponent...
Zach Davis: BELLY TO BELLY CHAMPION!!
Freddy Whoa: As you watch the replay with us, you can see the impact that the body of Scarecrow.
Crowd: LET'S GO SCARECROW.... LET'S GO SCARECROW.... LET'S GO SCARECROW!!!
Slane picks up Scarecrow....
Zach Davis: Abdominal Stretch!!
Freddy Whoa: Scarecrow escapes very quickly. Scarecrow puts a side headlock on Stuart Slane.
Zach Davis: RUNNING BULLDOG!!
Freddy Whoa: Both men are on the ringside area and the ate BOTH not moving!!
Zach Davis: These two have put everything they have in this match!!
Freddy Whoa: But these two have tons of heart as they both begin to stand up.
Both Stuart Slane and The Scarecrow stumble back as they try to scramble up to stand. They have their fists drawn.
Stuart Slane: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGH!!!
The Scarecrow: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGH!!!
Both monsters charge one another.
Zach Davis: A big boot to the gut of Stuart Slane!!
Freddy Whoa: IMPLANT DDT!!
Scarecrow picks up his opponent...
Stuart Slane: ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!!
Zach Davis: SPEAR!!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!! ....one armed spinebuster!!!
Zach Davis: RUNAWAY SLANE!!
Slane picks up Scarecrow....
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!! Saito Suplex!!!
Zach Davis: Both of these competitor have let it all hang out and let loose on one another!!!
Crowd: THIS MATCH IS AWESOME!! THIS MATCH IS AWESOME!! THIS MATCH IS AWESOME!! THIS MATCH IS AWESOME!!
Stuart Slane struggles to get just his knees. Slane grabs the head of The Scarecrow.
Freddy Whoa: Stuart Slane slams his fist against the skull of his opponent!!
Both competitors grab one another and throw each other towards the ring...
Zach Davis: Scarecrow throws Stuart Slane into the ring. The Murder Machine listens to the cheers from the crowd.
Crowd: SCARECROW!! SCARECROW!! SCARECROW!! SCARECROW!!
The Scarecrow bolts to the ring, the same time Stuart Slane bounce off the ropes from across the other end of the ring. The Market Square Arena nearly explodes with explosive cheers as Scarecrow bolts short distance towards the ringropes....
The crowd is nearly hoarse as they scream out loud.
Crowd: HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
Zach Davis: Scarecrow spring boarded off the ropes and lands with a lariat!!!
Stuart Slane stumbles around and then drops to one knee.
Freddy Whoa: THIS MATCH IS OFF THE HOOK!! THIS ARENA IS READY TO EXPLODE!!
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME!! THIS IS AWESOME!! THIS IS AWESOME!! THIS IS AWESOME!!
Scarecrow charges at Slane....
Zach Davis: The Eldritch Horror!! Anaconda Cross submission.
Freddy Whoa: Scarecrow has this submission locked in!!
Stuart Slane is writhing around, flopping around. The crowd groans.
Zach Davis: STUART SLANE DOESN'T SUBMIT!! HIS FOOT IS ON THE BOTTOM RINGROPE!!
Freddy Whoa: A sign of desperation!!
Stanley Moser: Scarecrow back off... ONE!! TWO!! THREE!! FOUR!!!
Scarecrow backs off and Stuart Slane looks over his shoulder then charges at Scarecrow....
Crowd: YES!! THIS IS AWESOME!!<clap-clap> <clap-clap-clap> THIS IS AWESOME!!<clap-clap> <clap-clap-clap> THIS IS AWESOME!!<clap-clap> <clap-clap-clap>
Zach Davis: MURDER OF CROWS!!
Freddy Whoa: Scarecrow goes for the pin!!!
Kyle Steel: The winner of the match.... "The Murder Machine" Scarecrow!!!
Zach Davis: That was a very surprising excellent match up!!
Freddy Whoa: Very excellent indeed!!
Zach Davis: You know what’s delicious, Freddy? Fried chicken.
Freddy Whoa: You didn’t even let me answer the question.
Zach Davis: You ought to try it sometime.
Freddy Whoa: Fried chicken? You don’t think I’ve ever eaten fried chicken? Are you serious?
Zach Davis: I’m just saying you should give it a try.
Freddy Whoa: You’re tripping Zach.
As the commentators go back and forth, a small ruckus is heard in the crowd. The mysterious woman seen last week alleging information on two WCF wrestlers that unknowingly are brothers has walked out from the back. She doesn’t waste any time in heading down the ramp toward the ring.
Zach Davis: Honestly, I didn’t think we’d be seeing this individual again.
Freddy Whoa: I don’t get it. Last week she had her microphone cut off right before she was about to reveal some shocking information and was escorted out of the ring and out of the arena by WCF security. Now it appears she’s found a way to return.
Zach Davis: I don’t think this is going to end well for her.
The woman quickly makes her way to ringside and into the ring. She begins to address the crowd.
Woman: As you saw last week when I was censored by WCF management, my time tonight is going to be short. I’ll try to make this as quick as possible. I have two sons. They don’t know me, but I know them. They don’t know that they’re related, but they deserve to know.
The crowd begins chanting for the woman to “reveal the names.” She pauses to look out at the crowd, they’re reaction bringing a warming smile to her face.
Woman: I will. There’s nothing that is going to stop me from making this revelation. Still, it’s important to understand where this is coming from. I’ve watched my sons their entire career. I’ve never sought them out because they’re making money or doing well for themselves. Quite the opposite, I’m almost embarrassed that I was never able to be there for them. I’m here for one reason, and that’s because these two men, my boys, they need each other. They have no family. They’re lost in this ungodly world of hate and animosity that professional wrestling provides.
The woman continues talking about, but the microphone had gone silent for a second week in a row. This time it isn’t WCF security making its way down to the ring to subdue the woman, it’s the police. A line of officers descend upon the ringside area. The woman stands unwavering in the middle of the ring, where she’s taken into custody by the officers and escorted out of the ring.
Zach Davis: Wow. Once again, I don’t even know what to say. It seems the woman has now been arrested for what I’m sure is trespassing where she doesn’t belong.
Freddy Whoa: I want to hear what she has to say though! Yo, mystery lady, hit me up if you need a good lawyer!
The backstage area is shown with a WCF Monitor in the background. Hank Brown is standing by with Eric Price ready to conduct an interview.
Hank Brown: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, Eric Price. Now Eric, last week, your client Steeltoe Joe lost the WCF People’s Championship to Johnny Reb. Your thoughts?
Eric Price: Well … Johnny Reb’s a hell of a competitor and last week, it was his week and in my view, he had a lucky break when he beat my client but that was one time, ONE NIGHT! Steeltoe Joe will get his rematch soon enough, I will see to that and when that happens, it will be time for the People’s Pastor to take his rightful place as the three time People’s Champion!
Hank Brown: Last week, we saw you and …
Just before Hank can continue his question, from out of nowhere, Jeff Purse appears and clotheslines Eric Price from behind. He then starts to kick at Eric who is now down on the ground as a swarm of security and officials quickly restrain Jeff as he starts screaming at him
Jeff Purse: YOU AND ME AT ONE! I WILL END YOU!
Eric is shown to be in pain as one official is checking on him and Eric slowly starts to get himself up, clearly still in pain as Jeff is being taken away. Hank is still there as Eric starts looking toward Jeff with great anger in his eyes
Eric Price: Attack me from behind? You son of a bitch, you want a match at One against me?!
Eric looks to think about it for a few seconds
Eric Price: YOU GOT IT! And I tell you what, just for fun, just for old times sake … let’s make it a street fight!
Eric walks off in anger as the scene switches back to ringside with commentators Zach Davis and Freddy Whoa.
Zach Davis: I … did Eric Price just say he was returning to the ring?
Freddy Whoa: An attack from Jeff Purse…
Zach Davis: From behind, let’s not forget.
Freddy Whoa: But he’s back in the ring and in a street fight?!
Zach Davis: All the tension building up toward One, it will be one hell of a night!
Zach Davis: Truly a big fight atmosphere here, the fans are as eager as we are to see what happens when Joey Flash and Occulo join forces to take on The Shikari.
Freddy Whoa: Speak for yourself; I couldn’t be more bored if I tried.
Suddenly the lights dim slightly, a hush crawls over the crowd. As the familiar strains of ‘Mile Zero’ begin, the lights raise again at the top of the ramp stands Television Champion Joey Flash, belt over his shoulder oddly attired in a pure white suit and a top hat. He walks briskly to the ring, and slides into the ring under the bottom rope, removing his hat as he stands up.
Zach Davis: Here comes the champ, he doesn’t seem particularly…correctly attired to be competing tonight, what the hell…but he seems to have commandeered the microphone here.
Joey smiles as the music ends and just stands in the middle of the ring staring out at the sea of people.
Freddy Whoa: Thankfully the crowd will also have to be putting up with this jackass it seems.
The crowd noise, mixed, swells to a crescendo as Joey raises the mic to his mouth. Before lowering it again and smiling, the crowd getting on his case more.
Joey Flash: Let’s get this shit storm started. Ohhh I know, the suit, right? I’m still going to wrestle, don’t worry. You’ll still get your dose of Joey you want.
The crowd’s reaction, after the mixed of earlier now turns to raucous boos, Joey even having to sidestep an empty drink bottle launched in the ring. Joey seems to grow more serious and kicks the bottle out of the ring.
Joey Flash: And one way or another...there will be blood.
He drops the microphone and launches the belt over the top rope, letting it drop unceremoniously onto the floor outside. Joey also hops over the top rope and drops to the floor. He pulls the belt close with a foot and lifts it up back into his hands. Walking over to the announce table he hands the belt to Zach, whilst picking up a spare headset.
Zach Davis: Joey?
Joey Flash: Thought you’d wanna have a look, keep it for now bro.
Freddy Whoa: Where’s my present?
Joey Flash: Your face will be getting one in the form of my fist if you don’t be courteous during this match fuckface.
No response from Freddie, good.
"Hail to the King" by Avenged Sevenfold starts playing as Tom Joad and Chaz James step into the arena. They start towards the ring and Stanley Ewing steps out behind them in a black suit. The duo just stares into the ring with blank stares. They reach the ring and stand next to it. Stanley climbs up on the ring steps and the duo slides in under the bottom rope.
Every single light in the arena will come on at their brightest when Superman by Sterophonics music starts. When we hear the lyrics Occulo makes his way through. When over the barrier he'll stare up at the screen which at this point the music will shut off, the lights shut off and the screen shows grey CCTV footage of an unknown location for a few seconds and then go back to his normal video with the music continuing. He circles the ring and heads toward the announce table. Joey remains seated.
Occulo: What is your angle?
Joey Flash: I’m just enjoying the view.
Occulo makes toward the table but withholds himself and slides in the ring to face off against Shikari…alone.
Zach Davis: Looking focused here, all of these men have a chance to take Joey’s Television title here.
Joey Flash: The future doesn’t look very bright for either of em.
Freddy Whoa: The future’s bright, the future’s Orange.
Zach Davis: Enough! Here we go...
Senior referee Stanley Moser calls for the bell, and match is underway. Both members of Shikari are chuckling to themselves in the corner almost disbelieving their luck, Tom Joad steps outside of the ropes to leave Chaz James facing off against Occulo. James takes a step forward as does a tentative Occulo, neither one seemingly wanting to make the first mistake. Chaz James suddenly darts forward, and Occulo sets himself to counter, but she gets expertly feinted as James ducks around behind, and flicks up a quick crucifix pin.
Two... kick out. The two get back up, James rolling Occulo up in a small package.
Two... Occulo manages to roll the pin over so James’ shoulders are down.
Two... James powers out, the two stand, and he quickly hits a bridging Northern Lights suplex.
Two... kick out. The two finally separate and get some distance from each other.
Zach Davis stands up, and claps.
Zach Davis: Tremendous opening there, if this is a prelude to the rest of the match it’s looking like we could be seeing something here.
Joey Flash: Seeing a heap of shit, someone use a chair!
Freddy Whoa: That was some good stuff there, although Michelle don’t wanna be caught up in this sort of an exchange. Let’s see if she changes shit up here.
Chad James raises his hand in the air and motions for a test of strength with Occulo. Occulo, perhaps foolishly given his size deficiency, duly accepts and raises his hand to meet James’. The other hands clench too, and predictably, James gets the upper hand. It seems this is all part of a plan though, as Occulo manages to twist his body to move between James’ legs, snapping his arms into an awkward position, and rolling him up into a flipped pin.
Two... James rolls out.
Occulo slides off him and moves a couple of feet away. He then looks at Flash and then delivers a boot straight to James’s head.
Joey Flash: Occulo with a below average kick there. Check the audience for a pulse. Boring.
Occulo puts both of his hands on the ropes and looks towards Joey again
Occulo: Are you okay there Sir? May I get you a drink or anything? Maybe some cyanide?
As Occulo is berating Flash, Tom Joad delivers an elbow to the back of Occulo’s head. He grabs him around the waist and attempts a belly to belly suplex, but Occulo drives his elbow into his face to break the hold. Joad staggers back and is then floored by a powerslam. Occulo then darts forward and drives his elbow with great momentum straight into Chaz James’s throat, he falls backwards and his head collides with the steps on the way down. Occulo fist pumps the air and finishes Joad off with the Subliminal Message! Just as he goes down to pin however Flash appears on the ring apron.
Joey Flash: You want a fuckin’ piece of me?
Occulo turns toward him and approaches.
Occulo: I thought you’d never ask.
Occulo approaches Joey only to have Joey simply slap him on the arm and step through the ropes. Occulo, furiously steps toward Joey with nothing but pain on his mind only to be restrained by the referee who motions for him to step outside.Flash simply covers Joad and the referee turns around and drops to the mat. Flash smiles at Occulo as he counts..
Kyle Steel: Here is your winner and STILL the WCF Television Champion….Joey Flash!!
The camera pans toward Joey he takes a deep breath in and stands up, looking toward Freddie. He places the top hat back on.
Joey Flash: You wanted some violence right?
Zach Davis cowers away holding his hands up toward Joey.
Joey Flash: Then watch, every...single...blow.
Joey drops his headset and walks past the timekeepers table, picking up a chair and a microphone Joey smiles and slides back into the ring as all three competitors are still in the ring.
Zach Davis: What’s Joey doing here, I don’t-
Freddy Whoa: Oh I do! Hahahaha!
Joey without a word raises the chair behind his head and brings it down with almighty velocity over the skull of the blindsided Occulo, he drops to the floor instantly, still groggy from the match. The members of Shikari steps backward as Joey glances toward them for a moment, before switching back to Occulo. He raises the chair and slams it down once more over the head of the already unconscious Occulo.
Zach Davis: Oh JESUS CHRIST JOEY, what the hell?
Freddy Whoa: Bahahaha yes! This is it! Good job I didn’t go to sleep eh?
The Shikari quickly exit the ring and walks up the ramp staring back at the chaos unfolding. Joey raises the microphone toward his mouth and looks toward the crowd.
Joey Flash: What did you really expect? This is like seeing the sun rise every day and expecting it not to on a random morning. I see Occulo, I beat the shit out of Occulo. Sun rise, sun set. I’ve pussied around you too much. You’re not the person I want. I tried Occulo, I tried, goodbye, you won’t be seeing me at ONE. You end here.
He puts the microphone in his pocket and slams the chair over the defenceless Occulo’s skull once more. This time a trickle of blood begins to pour from under his hair.
Zach Davis: Oh for...security!! Please someone for god’s sake...
Joey drops the chair on top of Occulo’s head, the crowd going wild with fury and cups, bottles begin to fly into the ring, he pauses for a moment and raises his hat in response before stomping the chair, the crack of it hitting Occulo skull resonates round ringside.
Zach Davis: Oh god...
The trickle of blood is now a pool and it seems like the fans are getting so upset one of them manages to get over the railings and clambers into the ring. Joey switches his gaze to the fan and drops him instantly with a left hook, the fan falls face first onto the canvas only feet from the pool of blood.
Joey stomps on the chair once more and Occulo’s body seems to jolt and convulse for a couple of seconds. Now a hushed silence comes across the crowd.
Freddy Whoa: Oh Jesus...
We hear the background noise of someone dry heaving through the commentator’s mic. Joey kneels down toward Occulo and slowly removes the chair, underneath is a broken mess. Hair stained in blood. Joey lifts his head up by the hair and brushes it out of his face. Nose broken, massive cuts along the hairline, cheek broken, jaw broken, a haematoma forming along his eye socket. His face a picture of agony.
The camera zooms closer on Occulo.
Joey Flash: Get closer, get it real good.
He makes sure the camera is focused on Occulo before delivering a swift, hard kick right to his chin rocking his limp head back before it falls lamely back into the blood with a splat.
Joey Flash: For all of you who think that you can just waltz in, and think it’s this easy. You get one chance, you get one chance and if you fuck up, if you make the slightest mistake, this is what happens. I chose you, and I put my faith in the wrong person.
He slides out of the ring and rummages underneath it to find the item he was looking for, he returns with a large red canister, he opens the top of it and gives it a sniff giving a thumbs up to the commentary team.
Zach Davis: OH NO. HE’S GOT FUCKING PETROLEUM JESUS CHRIST. I THOUGHT YOU WERE A CHAMPION JOEY, DON’T....
Joey rolls back into the ring and begins dousing Occulo with the fluid, showering him with the potent petrol. Joey takes a step back and pulls a single match from his pocket and lights it, holding it up above Occulo.
Freddy Whoa: No! This is too much...
Joey leans over him and lowers it toward Occulo’s prone body before giving a short blow on the match, and it goes out. He drops the unlit match to the floor.
Joey Flash: This is how easy it can end.
He slides back out of the ring and walks toward a silent Zach Davis, we see Freddie having thrown up on the floor next to him. Joey snatches his title back from Zach.
Joey Flash: This is no game. This is life and death, and here...he tried and he failed.
He throws the title over his shoulder.
Joey Flash: I expect a forfeit for our PPV match. I’m looking forward to Christmas.
Focusing once more on Joey Flash, eyes closed, tasting the atmosphere as we...
It's getting close to the end of Slam, and the protest has fizzled out by this point. Just Marina, Allison and Jazmin remain as everyone else has split for the night.
Marina Valdivia: WCF sucks.... yeah.... fuck 'em.... crap, it's getting LATE!
Allison Mayberry: Yeah, the show's almost over. Think we made a difference?
Marina Valdivia: I know we did!
Allison Mayberry: So... what's gonna happen? Are you going to take that match?
Marina Valdivia: OH YEAH! I have to make a decision on that, don't I?
Allison Mayberry: You forgot?
Marina Valdivia: Tells you how much I give a shit, right?
Allison Mayberry: So, what's it going to be? Hmm?
Marina Valdivia: HELL NO!
Allison Mayberry: Really? It's not happening?
Marina Valdivia: NO! See, people in WCF want me to get back in that ring so bad, obviously because they didn't like what I've been saying on Twitter, so they are hoping to get an opportunity at me in that very ring just to silence me. Well, guess what, Allison? I am not going to let that happen because nobody in WCF is worth wrestling against, even if it IS the ONE event. You know how a few of those idiots are telling me "get in the ring or leave". Fuck it, girl! I'm done with this shit! We don't need this. I refuse to lower myself to ever set foot in a WCF ring again. Besides..... if I came back, even for one match.... it would be much of the same.
Jazmin: YEAH! IT WOULD BE A CONSPIRACY! A FULL BLOWN, KEENLY EXECUTED, LERCHUMINATI CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marina Valdivia: Jazmin.... oh my god... will you SHUT UP!?!?!?!?!
Allison Mayberry: Gotta give her credit for sticking with the protest. So... you're telling me.... that this is it. You are NEVER going to set foot in a WCF ring again? You are NEVER going to appear on WCF TV again?
Marina Valdivia: Precisely. This.... is my goodbye! I am moving on with my life and my career doing bigger and better things! I actually WOULD HAVE considered a match at ONE... even if nobody was worthy of wrestling me. However... based on the behavior toward me on Twitter, based on the reaction to my #ProtestSlam2014 trend, you know.... how I said WCF was full of chauvinist pigs? The responses I got? PROVED ME RIGHT! Those idiots,w hen they tried insulting me, PROVED MY POINT! They accomplished EXACTLY what I wanted to accomplish and in the process, they ahve ALL made themselves look like the fools that they are! So..... I have nothing else to prove, and nothing else to say. This is it Allison. It's OVER! I've made my points clear, I've made my voice heard, and I got the PROPER attention I always deserved yet, NEVER got while I was actually wrestling here. That's all I really wanted so... thanks assholes, for proving me right!
Suddenly, a police officer approaches the three of them.
Officer: Seth Lerch has informed me to remove you from the premises immediately or else, face arrest.
Jazmin: OH YEAH? I see..... YOU'RE PART OF TE LERCHUMINATI CONSPIRACY TOO AREN'T YOU?
Marina Valdivia: Shut the f...... OH FUCK IT! Whatever!
Allison Mayberry: So.... once again, Seth is hiding behind someone else when it comes to communicating with my client? (scoffs) Figures.
Marina Valdivia: Well.... Seth never exactly WAS comfortable talking to women anyway, let's be fair. Okay officer, we'll leave. We accomplished exactly what we wanted to do anyway. So, to all of you in WCF, goodbye, adios, arrivederci and... well.... any other way you can say goodbye. California's All-Star has offically left the WCF building.... FOR GOOD!
The three women walk away from the building, and for Marina Valdivia, the last time she will ever leave the premises of a WCF event!
The scene fades into the packed Sunday Night Slam arena in Indianapolis, Indiana!
Zach Davis: Welcome back to Sunday Night Slam!
Freddy Whoa: And what a night it’s been so far! This crowd has been white hot electric all night, and they’re still reeling from that Television Championship match!
The lights in the arena go black. A cheer comes up from the crowd and then mates with a chant, a MASSIVE IRREPRESSIBLE chant from every corner of the arena, from every poon and thick in attendance tonight.
Crowd: POON-DOCK SAINTS! POON-DOCK SAINTS! POON-DOCK SAINTS!
The excitement reaches a fever pitch. The fans froth at their collective mouths in anticipation of the thick shit that's bout it bout it, ready to cum in mere moments, though they're still shrouded in darkness save for cellphone flash bulbs so y'all can't really see it but y'all can feel it. The giddy aura of the WCF Universe is instantly impregnated by the sound of a gunshot.
"Natural Born Killaz" by Dr. Dre and Ice Cube tears through the PA system like the thickness does the poon. Simultaneously, the lights come back up in full-on strobe mode with red and green flashing all about the building in every which way. White people be dancin' the Jitterbug, but hey-- at least they gettin down to them thick gangsta rap sounds. The entire crowd is vibing, smoking phat blunts, tippin them forties, motorboatin' the biggest and baddest titties.
Kaz Mazy and Bobby Cairo emerge in the crowd, being led toward the ring by their manager Bolts Quackenbush, who's waving that Old Glory Poon Guinean Flag with the hammer and sickle and them fifty stars and thirteen bars.
Zach Davis: The Poondock Saints are in the house!
Freddy Whoa: Thickest entrance in this business today, Zach. Look at them white folk dancin' the Jitterbug. Crazy ass white folk.
Bitches be gettin their twerk on as Dre and Cube pay tribute with homicidal lyrics. Bolts hurdles over the fan barrier, never wavering from that flag but waving it like the proud military veteran that he be. Cairo and Mazy hop over the barrier and present a united front as they wait for their match to begin.
Crowd: POON-DOCK SAINTS! POON-DOCK SAINTS! POON-DOCK SAINTS!
Bolts whipping that flag into a frenzy to accommodate the patriotic legions in attendance.
Zach Davis: Godfatherdamn, I'm proud to be a Poon Guinean.
Freddy Whoa: Me too, Zach. Me too. Ain't no Poon Guineans ever held my ancestors as slaves. Just smashed that molten nigress poon, and that's alright with me. Hell, I do the same Godfatherdamn thang. Not with my ancestors, but you catch my drift.
Zach Davis: Yeah I do, Freddy. Yeah I do, and I wish I was as thick as you.
Freddy Whoa: Someday, Zach. Someday you will be. Sorry-- that was a lie.
Zach Davis: Maybe Freddy...that may be a lie, but you know what isn’t a lie?
Freddy Whoa: The Poondocks being the Thickest Tag Team ever did grace this stank ass city?
Zach Davis: It’s like you’re in my brain Freddy. Stay the hell out of my brain, sir.
The subtle guitar screeches and ominous bass drum beats of "Raining Blood" by Slayer flood the arena, hushing the crowd as the arena lights dim. The drums beat, and fiery-orange uplights flash up to the beat. The anticipation builds as the seconds pass. Then, the guitar roars to life as a renewed gout of fiery orange orange spotlights flare around the stadium, spinning not unlike warning lights. Maelstrom appears with his head bowed and covered with a wet rust-colored towel. He marches to the ring with purpose, hands out to brush the outstretched fingers of the fans on both sides.
Kyle Steele: And their opponents...hailing from Buffalo, New York...standing at six foot three and weighing in at three hundred pounds...MAAAEEELLLLSTROM!!!
With little style but lots of intensity he shakes the towel off his head, and then twisting the other way to crack his neck as he climbs into the ring. Climbing to the second turnbuckle, he greets the crowd by thumping his fist over his heart and bowing his head in salute.
Zach Davis: Maelstrom has been very impressive since his debut, don’t you think Freddy?
Freddy Whoa: The man has a very rich history in another life, Zach. He may have some momentum on his side going into this one, but he’s in the Dub now. Those other matches were just a tune up for this match against the Poondocks here tonight.
Zach Davis: I for one am excited to see how he fares.
"Pompeii" by E.S. Posthumus begins instantly. "Dan" fades onto the screen above stage and holds for three seconds, followed by a crossfade into "Van" for another three, and then "Slade" ends it with a final three second hold. The beautifully orchestrated theme by E.S. Posthumus engulfs the arena and at about twelve seconds into the vanity appears "Devious" Dan Van Slade who whips the curtain behind him and hurries to the stage. The superstar stops at the edge of the ramp as he is introduced by the ring announcer. He points to his left, and then to the right; he lifts his head and closes his eyes. Pyrotechnics are showcased behind him with a row of flames shooting from the stage floor, and a shower of bright sparks pouring from the rafters above. The pompous introduction comes to a halt, but the epic theme continues as Van Slade arrogantly treks down the ramp with his sights set on the wrestling ring.
Kyle Steel: And his partner...from Missoula, Montana...standing at six foot three and weighing two hundred and fifty one pounds...THE DEVIOUS DAN VAN SLAAAAADE!!!
The devious performer talks with himself while shouting crude remarks toward the crowd. He stops mid-way and then jets toward the ring. He slides underneath the bottom rope until he anchors himself into the center of the squared-circle. He slowly moves to his feet and stares into the crowd with determined eyes and a sadistic grin. His battle tune fades.
Zach Davis: This match is just seconds from being underway...and the crowd is already lighting up!
Crowd: LETS GO POON-DOCKS! LETS GO POON-DOCKS!
Freddy Whoa: They’re lubed up and ready to see The Saints go!
Zach Davis: But the Maelstrom and DVS signs are out to heavy effect as well!
DVS decides to go first for his team...and Cairo starts for the Poondocks to a huge pop from the crowd. The referee calls for the bell and the match begins. Bobby and DVS start circling the ring, testing those waters as always. They lock up in the center and Cairo hits the newcomer with a hard knee to the abdomen. DVS doubles over and Cairo clubs him on the small of his back. DVS falls down to his knees and Cairo starts unloading with hard stomps to Dan’s back. As he hits the ground, Cairo drops down as well and hits him with an elbow drop to the same spot on his back. He flips him over and goes for the pin.
Freddy Whoa: NO! DVS gets the shoulder up!
Cairo lifts DVS to his feet and bounces him off the ropes and he comes back to a hip toss from The Godfather. Cairo plants a stomp before lifting DVS’ leg for the pin.
Freddy Whoa: Again with the shoulder up!
Cairo lifts DVS up again and drags him to The Poondocks corner. He tags in Kaz Mazy, then holds DVS in place. Kaz leaps and springs off the ropes, planting DVS shoulders with a double stomp. DVS hits the mat and Kaz goes for the pin.
Zach Davis: ...and Slade got the shoulder up again!
Freddy Whoa: Smart stuff by The Poondocks to keep DVS locked up in their corner. Smart stuff, indeed.
Zach Davis: Maelstrom is calling for the tag, but DVS is going through a loop right now!
DVS stands up and Kaz kicks him in the gut. Kaz runs against the ropes and hits DVS with a spinning wheel kick, knocking Slade to the ground. Kaz hits him in the gut and DVS bounds to a sitting position. Kaz runs off the ropes and comes back for a Hanging Dong!...but DVS dodges and rolls towards his corner, tagging in Maelstrom to a pop from the crowd.
Zach Davis: And Maelstrom in the ring now!...and what a clothesline to Kaz Mazy!
Freddy Whoa: He’s goin for The Godfather now!
Maelstrom attempts to hit The Godfather off the apron, but he ducks out of the way. Mael reaches for Bobby...but Kaz rolls him up from behind.
Maelstrom gets the shoulder up! Maelstrom stands up as Kaz athletically rolls to his feet. The two face off, but Maelstrom gains a headlock advantage over Kaz. He hits him with a few knees before tossing him away. Kaz catches the mat and rolls to his feet again as Mael charges him for another clothesline...but Kaz ducks, and as Maelstrom turns around, he eats a superkick from Mazy. Maelstrom remains on his feet as Kaz goes for another superkick...but Maelstrom catches his foot and spins him around, catching Kaz with a short arm lariat on the way around.
Zach Davis: Maelstrom with the advantage on Kaz Mazy now!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! Kaz looks like he got ding dong ditched, ya feel me?
Maelstrom lifts a dazed and confused Mazy to his feet and irish whips him into the turnbuckle. He charges Mazy...but Mazy rolls out of the way and tags in Bobby C!
Freddy Whoa: The GAWDFATHA’s back in it!
Cairo charges the ring and hits Maelstrom with an uppercut, then drops him to the floor with a reverse STO. He pounds him a few times with stomps before lifting him up into the ropes. He socks Maelstrom in the belly a few times before hitting him with that Irish Whip. Maelstrom comes back...and clocks Bobby with a shoulder tackle, knocking Bobby back into the ropes. Mael charges again and they both spill to the outside of the ring.
Zach Davis: The carnage is headed outside the ring now!
Freddy Whoa: Make sure they don’t break the table Zach...I’m relying on you, man.
Bobby and Maelstrom are getting to their feet, trading blows on the way up...when all of a sudden, DVS comes flying out of nowhere and knocks both of them to the ground with a flying knee press. The three crash to the floor outside in a pile of limbs.They all begin to stand as Kaz rears up in the ring. He bounces off the rope and comes flying out of the ring with a perfect somersault. Bobby steps out of the way as Kaz, Maelstrom, and DVS all crash into the barricade. Cairo lifts Maelstrom and slides him into the ring.
Freddy Whoa: Kaz put his body on the line for his team! The guy will do anything to keep the momentum going for The Poondocks heading into One.
Cairo covers Maelstrom for the pin.
Freddy Whoa: NO! Maelstrom kicks out again!
Zach Davis: What a tough guy that Maelstrom is! He’s had some punishment inflicted on him courtesy of The Poondocks, and he’s still got some swing left in him!
Cairo lifts Maelstrom to his feet and hits him with a dropkick. Maelstrom falls back and Bobby’s on his feet now...
Freddy Whoa: RCAIRO!
Zac Davis: No! Maelstrom reversed it! He bounds away from Cairo...
Freddy Whoa: ...And hits the tag to Van Slade!
DVS who had just gotten onto the apron after that devastating move by Kaz appears surprised to be tagged in. He shakes off the feeling and climbs in between the ropes. He and Bobby square off yet again and go for the lock up...but DVS ducks and hits Bobby with a fireman carry. DVS quickly stands to his feet and drops a knee onto Cairo’s face. He jets back to the ropes and comes back with another hard knee to Cairo’s face. DVS begins to taunt to the crowd to a chorus of boos, apparently pleased with his late in the game arrival. He lifts Bobby to his feet and hits him with a stiff uppercut, knocking Bobby off balance. DVS uses this to his advantage and hits Cairo with a running crossbody...but Bobby catches him mid jump. Bobby C drops DVS down, hitting him with a backbreaker. He covers DVS for the three count...
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! Broken up by Maelstrom.
Maelstrom hits the mat and Kaz rolls to his feet as Bobby and DVS both stand up. DVS kicks Bobby in the gut and pushes him into the ropes. DVS lifts him for the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, but Bobby changes positions as Kaz springs off the ropes
Zach Davis: RCAIRO!
Freddy Whoa: COLD SUN!
Zach Davis: He just reversed that tilt a whirl into an RCAIRO/COLD SUN combination!
Cairo hooks DVS’ leg for the pin.
Freddy Whoa: The Poondocks did it!
"Natural Born Killaz" by Dr. Dre and Ice Cube blares as The Poondocks celebrate Poon Guinnea style in the ring. Thickness bitches in the crowd lift their Poondock Saints shirts up so that The Poondocks may observe their glorious breasts. Kaz and Bobby toast their glasses of Poonglorious Whiskey and spark up a few blunts as the scene fades to black.
Justin Cash is walking around backstage. He has a pissed off look to him. He sees two stage handa standing next to each other talking. He walks up to them.
Justin Cash: Where the fuck is Seth?
First guy: I have no idea. I haven't seen him since the start of the show.
Justin Cash: What the fuck do you mean you don't know? He's your boss and tells you what to do.
Stagehand 1: Well he technically ain't MY boss.
Justin gets infuriated with his answer and drops the guy with The Cash Drop.
Justin Cash: Have you got a better amswer or you gonna be wise like your buddy over here?
Stagehand 2: Uh.. I believe he said he was going to his office.
Justin Cash: see that wasn't so difficult now was it?
Justin turns away for a second, then turns around and picks the man up in a gorilla press slam and throws him through a glass window, leading to the catering room.
Justin walks off towards Seth's office. He finds the door and kicks ir in. There's no one inside. Justin's rage rises. He starts tearing the place apart. He throws the desk across the room shattering it, and putting a huge hole in the wall. He sees a portait of Seth shaking hands withe the current World Champion. He punches the picture shattering the glass. He pulls out a can of red spray paint. He stafts spraying "NB" all over the room. His phone starts ringing. He puts it on speaker.
Voice: Yo JC, I just seen Seth running to the car port.
Justin Cash: Good looks I'm am on my way.
Justin takes off running towards the garage. Adam Young gets in his way and Justin clotheslines him and keeps on running. Seth is getting in his limo when Justin grabs a cinderblock and drops it on the hood making it smoke. Seth slips out the limo and hops in a taxi that takes off leaving Justin fuming.
Freddy Whoa: It's main event time!
Zach Davis: Whoa!
Freddy Whoa: Wait a minute, I think we got the wrong scripts.
Zach Davis: Shhh! They're not supposed to know there's scripts!
"Holy War...The Punishment Due" by Megadeth hits the speakers as Armageddon Now, Inc., Steeltoe Joe and Deuce Murdock, make their way out to the stage with Eric Price leading the way.
Kyle Steel: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Making their way to the ring, being accompanied by Eric Price, Steeltoe Joe and Deuce Murdock...ARMAGEDDON NOW, INC.!
The three men make their way down to the ring and Joe and Deuce climb up onto the apron before entering the ring as Eric takes a place on the apron in their corner. The three discuss strategy as they keep watch on the stage.
Kyle Steel: And introducing their tag team partner...
The big screen flashes to a blank screen... with a cursor? Suddenly, text appears... "Iceberg-Seven online... accessing WCF big screen. Access granted... running program 'Entrance'." The cursor moves across the screen slowly, as if loading something... and then the screen clears itself once more. Then, two words appear: "POLAR PHANTASM". "Synchronicity (part 2)" by The Police begins playing over the loudspeakers as two white spotlights train on the entrance. The curtain parts... and out comes the Polar Phantasm.
Kyle Steel: From Antarctica, Louisiana, weighing in at 249lbs...THE POLAR PHANTASM!
Polar slaps a few audience members' hands on his way through the arena, then slides beneath the bottom rope and into the ring. Polar takes a quick look around the crowd and then walks over to his tag team partners as his music fades out.
Kyle Steel: And their opponents...
The house lights go out, as lighter colored lights come on. The multiple cameras pan around a jam packed arena. The fans are holding up various signs. The atmosphere is explosive and some of the crowd is cheering. While, the rest, of the crowd are booing. "Breathe" by Prodigy begins to play. The bass like synth begin to blare out. 14 seconds later the drums come through...
BREATHE WITH ME!!
Kyle Steel: Weighing in at 305 pounds, from the deepest, darkest part of a sick man's psyche...... O-O-O-OBLI-I-IVI-I-I-I-O-O-O-O-NN-N-NN-N!!!
The house lights go out. The crowd begins to murmur. Strobe lights begin to flash, as bright white lasers begin to flash. Two bright spotlights hit the entrance stage. The music continues to thump. Some of the fans are thrashing and/or dancing a long with the music...
Explosive fire pyro shoots straight up, on the stage and down the ramp. Then right about that time, Oblivion slowly slinks out. The music continues the blare out and rattled the arena. The cameraman gets real close, as Oblivion sneers at the camera. The Monster thrusts out IT's massive right arm, pushing the cameraman several feet away. The Monster slowly comes down to the ring. Strobe lights continue to flash. Then the arena slightly shakes, as the sound of thunder rumbles and mock lightning flashes. The majority, of the crowd, jump. The music continues to thump out of the arena's speakers, as the addictive rhythm has the entire crowd in a trance and continues to dance along with the music. Lightning strikes the four corners, of the ring. The loud sounds makes everyone jump out of their seats, once again. Some, of the people are scared out of their minds. The lights flicker then... POP!! The strobe lights go out!! The house lights come on, then standing in the center of the ring, is Oblivion. Half the crowd is cheering, while the other half of the crowd is booing. The music fades out. A screeching sound echoes throughout the arena, as four lightning bolts strike each corner.
Kyle Steel: And introducing his tag team partner...
The lights go out. They stay off for about 15 seconds or so before "Change" by Deftones starts playing throughout the arena. A spotlight hits the entrance way and out from the back walks Gravedigger, escorted by Adrian and JJ. The crowd boos heavily and the trio stops on top of the ramp as Gravedigger looks around smiling.
Kyle Steel: From Phoenix, Arizona, weighing in at 258lbs, he is The Epitome Of Hardcore....GRAVEDIGGER!
They then walk down the ramp and over to the ring steps. Adrian walks over to the side of the ring, reaches up and pulls himself up onto the apron with one of the ropes and then climbs into the ring. Gravedigger climbs the steps first and turns to JJ, pulling up the middle rope and stepping down on the bottom one, as she steps through the gap into the ring. Gravedigger steps through the top and middle rope and walks over to one of the turnbuckles and stands on the middle pad and smirks out at the crowd as they rain boos down upon him.
Kyle Steel: And their tag team partner...
The house lights dim, and the intro to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" hits the speakers. Hushed anticipation falls over the crowd as a spotlight illuminates the stage. Johnny Reb steps out from behind the curtain. A cheer goes up from the audience at his appearance. As the he walks down the ramp, a cascade of sparks rains down on the stage.
Kyle Steel: From Sweet Water, Alabama, weighing in at 205 pounds, he is The Inveterate Confederate...JOHNNY REB!
The Inveterate Confederate circles the ring, slapping hands with the fans at ringside. Johnny eschews the steps completely; he leaps onto the ring apron and climbs the turnbuckles, posing for the cheering crowd for a moment before he jumps down, ready for the match to begin.
Kyle Steel: And their opponents...
The opening sample of "So Whatcha Want" by Beastie Boys fills the arena as the lights dim. When the song kicks in, strobe lights flash throughout the arena and a spotlight hits the entrance. Buddy Roman takes the stage, followed by Natural ICE Beckman, Zombie McMorris and "The Mack" Steve Orbit. Buddy stands before them with a proud smile. The three men taunt the crowd for a few moments until a series of pyros explode and they are led to the ring by Buddy.
Kyle Steel: Being led to the ring by Buddy Roman, ICE Beckman, Steve Orbit and Zombie McMorris...THE VAPOR KINGS!
The Vapor Kings enter the ring as Roman takes a spot at ringside, a proud smile on his face. He holds onto ICE's WCF World Title as a stagehand is tasked with holding the Hardcore and Tag Team Title belts. The Vapor Kings talk strategy as they look around at the other two teams.
Zach Davis: The Vapor Kings versus Oblivion, Johnny Reb and Gravedigger versus The Polar Phantasm and Armageddon Now Incorporated. What a main event!
Freddy Whoa: Trios, WAR, Hellimination and now this? I'm starting to think WCF stands for Wrestling Cluster Fu-
Zach Davis: Keep it TV-14 Freddy!
"Explosia" by Gojira hits the speakers as Jayson Price steps out onto the stage wearing a referee's shirt. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction as he makes his way down the ramp. Rather than entering ring, he heads toward the announce table and grabs the microphone from Kyle Steel.
Jayson Price: Cut the music.
Price's music cuts as everyone in the ring turns their attention toward him.
Jayson Price: I don't know why Seth Lerch made me the referee for this match and I really don't care. But if I'm going to be forced to keep this clusterfuck under control, I'm doing it my way. So you two...
Price points to Adrian and JJ in Gravedigger's corner.
Jayson Price: You...
Price points to Eric Price in Armageddon Now, Inc.'s corner.
Jayson Price: And especially you...
Price points to Buddy Roman in the Vapor King's corner.
Jayson Price: Are banned from ringside. I don't have any time to deal with any of you or your shenanigans.
There's a pop from the crowd as all three teams take issue with Price ejecting the managers at ringside. WCF officials come out from the back and escort all four away as Price waves to them from the ring.
Jayson Price: All right then, let's get this over with.
Price tosses the microphone out of the ring and signals for the bell.
[DING! DING! DING!]
All three teams are standing in their corners trying to figure out a last minute strategy as the crowd buzzes in anticipation.
Zach Davis: While we wait for things to start we should go ahead and remind everyone that this match, while it may look like what you saw in the Trios Cup, is not being held under the same rules. One man from each team will start but tags have to be made. Leaving the ring will not constitute a tag, like it did during Trios.
Freddy Whoa: The rules may be a bit simpler but with 9 men involved in this match it's still going to be hard to keep up with all of the action.
All three teams finally figure out what they're doing and pick a man to start. Gravedigger, Steve Orbit and Polar Phantasm come out to the center of the ring as their partners step out onto the apron. All three men size each other up and then look over at Price, who points to the WCF logo on his referee shirt.
Zach Davis: Well we'd be remiss if we didn't at least mention the history between Price and so many of these men in this match. Polar is of course in Pantheon with Price currently, but they had a bit of an issue last week when Polar left Price high and dry during a tag match to tend to an injured Chelsea Armstrong.
Freddy Whoa: Orbit and Price were partners in Pantheon and had a classic feud over the WCF World Title before Steve turned on Pantheon to join the Vapor Kings. Who can forget that title match that ended in a draw?
Zach Davis: And Price and Gravedigger have been fighting a feud on and off since 2009 that has seen some of the most brutal moments in WCF history. Who could forget the attack on Shannan Lerch that killed Price's unborn child?
Freddy Whoa: And then there's the long running rivalry between Price and Oblivion and the not so known beef between Price and Steeltoe Joe over who is the best People's Champion of all time. Plus ZMAC and Price have never gotten along due to their battles on Twitter.
Zach Davis: All the animosity between Price and these competitors and finally it makes sense as to why Seth Lerch put Price in charge of this match. He wants them to kill Price.
Gravedigger seems more than ready to do just that as he moves toward Price and tries to grab him by the collar of his shirt. But Polar blindsides him from behind with an elbow to the head. Polar with elbows that would make Corey Black erect as the crowd cheers in approval. Gravedigger finally gets himself turned around and manages to duck an elbow before coming up with an uppercut under Polar's jaw.
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! What a shot!
Polar sent reeling backward as Gravedigger hits the ropes and comes back looking for a big boot to the face. Polar ducks it and spins Gravedigger around before trying for a suplex. Gravedigger blocks it and catches Polar with a knee to the gut before pulling him in for a DDT. But Polar blocks it! Polar grabs Gravedigger by the legs and takes him to the mat with a double leg takedown. Polar trying like hell to get Gravedigger on his belly.
Zach Davis: Antarcticrab!
Polar locks in the single leg boston crab as the crowd pops.
Freddy Whoa: Is it over already?!
Gravedigger looks around for help and it comes in the form of an enzuigiri to the back of Polar's head from Steve Orbit. Polar falls over onto the mat as Gravedigger scurries away.
Zach Davis: Will all of the action going on between Polar and Gravedigger, we forgot that Steve Orbit was in the ring with them. He was just hanging out in his corner, content with watching them beat the hell out of each other.
Freddy Whoa: Sound strategy!
Orbit now leaping onto the back of Polar to keep him on the mat before hammering away at the back of his head. Polar trying to crawl toward the ropes as Orbit wraps an arm around his throat and tries to cut off his air. Polar throws his hand out and grabs hold of the bottom rope but Orbit isn't letting go. Price starts up a five count.
Price reaches five but Orbit is still trying to choke Polar out. But rather than end the match, Price grabs hold of Orbit from behind and drags him off of Polar before tossing him to the side.
Zach Davis: What the hell is Price doing? He's the referee, he can't put his hands on the wrestlers!
Freddy Whoa: Well Orbit wouldn't obey the five count and it's obvious Price wasn't going to let this match end that way.
Orbit right back up to his feet and he gets in Price's face, demanding answers. Price points to the logo on his shirt and then at Polar and the ropes. Orbit still jawing off at Price for touching him and cocks back his fist, ready to punch him.
Zach Davis: Oh shit! We're getting Orbit versus Price II!
Orbit ready to throw a punch when Price holds up his hands and points behind Steve. Orbit looks confused and turns around...right into a big boot from Gravedigger!
Freddy Whoa: Orbit nearly lost his head!
Orbit drops to the mat and Gravedigger and Price are left standing face to face. The crowd pops for the face off but Gravedigger instead drops down on top of Orbit for the pin attempt.
Zach Davis: KICKOUT!
Orbit with the shoulder up at two as Gravedigger shoots Price a look. Price motions that he got the shoulder up as Gravedigger gets to his feet, pulling Orbit up with him. Gravedigger with Orbit and he tries for a suplex, getting him up in the air. From out of nowhere comes Polar with a dropkick to the chest of Gravedigger. Orbit gets released while still in the air but somehow manages to land on his feet. Gravedigger sent back into the ropes and manages to hold himself upright. Polar back up to his feet but it's Orbit from behind with a roll-up.
Gravedigger runs and throws himself on top of the pin, breaking up the count at two. Gravedigger shoves Orbit off of Polar and tries for a pin of his own.
Orbit shoves Gravedigger off and goes for a pin again.
Gravedigger grabbing Orbit by the head and pulling him to his feet. Orbit responds with a backhand slap that's so vicious even Price flinches. Gravedigger gets spun around and stumbles forward right into his corner where Oblivion quickly tags himself in.
Zach Davis: Here comes The Monster!
Oblivion enters the ring and goes right at Orbit, taking him to the mat with a clothesline. Polar back up to his feet and Oblivion drops him right back down with a clothesline. Oblivion lets out a monster-like roar as he goes after Orbit. Oblivion helps pull him up to his feet and tries to hit him with a scoop slam. Orbit wiggles free and drops behind Oblivion before shoving him from behind into the ropes. Oblivion bounces off of them chest first and Orbit lays into his back with a forearm shot. Oblivion barely reacts and turns around into a forearm to the face from Orbit. Again nothing and Orbit tries again. It connects and Oblivion spits out a wad of spit mixed with blood before laying into Orbit's face with a forearm of his own. Down goes Orbit and Oblivion tries to pin him.
Freddy Whoa: KICKOUT!
Orbit with the shoulder up at two as we see Polar in the background heading for his corner. Oblivion back up to his feet and he pulls Orbit up with him. Polar makes the tag to Steeltoe Joe, who steps into the ring but stays back to wait for his moment. Oblivion with a knee to the gut and he pulls Orbit in, looking for a pin attempt. Oblivion gets him up but it's Orbit with right hands to the face. Orbit ends up back on his feet on the mat and he heads for his corner. Oblivion tries to catch him but Orbit manages to slap the outstretched hand of ICE Beckman.
Zach Davis: The World Champion is getting into the match!
ICE tries to enter the ring but Oblivion is right on him, hammering away at his back. Oblivion now grabbing the arm and he tries to whip ICE across the ring and into the corner. ICE with the reversal and it's Oblivion sent across the ring. But then it's Joe cutting Oblivion off with a spear before he can reach the corner.
Freddy Whoa: What impact from that spear!
Joe back up to his feet but he's got no time to celebrate as ICE spins him around and delivers a headbutt. Joe shakes it off and delivers a headbutt of his own. ICE responds with a right hand that rocks the People's Champion. Joe comes back with a right but ICE ducks it and spins Joe around. It's ICE from behind now with a German suplex attempt. Joe blocks it and ICE headbutts him from behind. ICE tries again but again Joe blocks. Oblivion up to his feet and he grabs hold of ICE from behind.
Zach Davis: What the hell is this?
ICE tries to lift Joe for a German suplex at the same time Oblivion tries to lift ICE for a German suplex. ICE manages to get Joe up but Oblivion, as hard as he tries, can't keep up the weight of both men and falls backward to the mat, pulling ICE down on top of him and Joe ends up landing on top of ICE. Price looks at the crash on the mat ass all 3 men are stacked on top of each other and drops down for the count.
Freddy Whoa: Oblivion's shoulders are down!
Zach Davis: But who's pinning who? Is ICE pinning Oblivion? Is Joe pinning Oblivion? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!
Both Johnny Reb and Zombie McMorris enter the ring and simultaneously jump onto the stack, shoving their partners away in the process. Deuce enters the ring and tries to pull Joe away as Price is running around the ring trying to get everyone that isn't legal out of the ring.
Zach Davis: Well we should have known eventually the drunk would lose control of this match.
Price rolls out of the ring and heads for the announce table as now everyone has entered the ring and a brawl has erupted. Price shoves Kyle Steel to the ground and grabs the chair he was sitting on. Price slams the chair onto the apron and then slides into the ring as everyone takes notice. Price now shouting out orders for everyone to get back to the apron. He gets a few questioning looks until he cocks the chair back and everyone scatters except for ICE Beckman, Steeltoe Joe and Oblivion.
Freddy Whoa: Well that's one way for a referee to get order in a match. Wish they'd do that more often rather than just doing double count outs.
Zach Davis: Yeah, nobody like seeing matches end in a draw.
Price tosses the chair out of the ring and gives everyone on the aprons a warning as Oblivion, Joe and ICE all look back and forth at each other. But rather than do anything, they all elect to tag in the fresh men. Oblivion tags in Reb, ICE tags in McMorris and Joe tags in Deuce. All three enter the ring and meet in the middle. It's Zombie and Deuce trading shots right off the bat before Reb joins Deuce in trying to take down one half of the tag team champions.
Freddy Whoa: Well this is an odd alliance but we've seen weirder in matches with this many people.
McMorris tries to fight back but the numbers game is too much for him as he ends up getting backed into the only corner without anybody near it. Reb and Deuce take turns laying boots into the gut of Zombie as Price starts up a five count. At four they finally back up, only for Deuce to charge the corner and hit Zombie with a shoulder to the stomach. Zombie falls to the mat and Reb heads to the top rope, yelling for Deuce to pull him up. Deuce tries to pull him up but Zombie shoves him off and right into Price. Price stumbles back and Zombie kicks Deuce square in the crotch, dropping him to the mat. Reb starts to jump off the top when Zombie hits the ropes, knocking him down crotch first onto the top turnbuckle.
Zach Davis: The amount of testicle torture in this match is horrifying!
Reb left straddling the top turnbuckle as McMorris heads for the corner. Price is checking on Deuce, who keeps pointing to his midsection but Price seems to be getting the wrong message as he backs away and says he doesn't go that way. Zombie now climbing the corner and he pulls Reb up, looking for a superplex. Reb fights back with right hands to the face but Zombie fires back with rights of his own. Deuce pushing himself up as Zombie tries to hook Reb in for a Belly to Belly off the top. Deuce stumbles over to the corner and hits McMorris with a forearm. Zombie and Reb now both precariously perched on the top rope as Deuce decides to try and climb up to the second rope.
Freddy Whoa: Mother of god what is this?!
The crowd gets to their feet baffled as Deuce grabs Zombie from behind in a German suplex. Zombie still has Reb in a belly to belly on the top rope as Price is trying to talk them all down out of the corner. Then from out of nowhere Deuce pulls backward off the second rope with the German on Zombie. Zombie miraculously manages to pull off the belly to belly on Reb and sends him flying to the mat. Reb hits the mat hard as Zombie and Deuce both hit the mat equally hard.
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Zach Davis: I can't believe what I just saw!
Freddy Whoa: HOLY WHOA!
All three men are laid out on the mat and nobody seems ready to try moving. Price reluctantly starts up a ten count as the crowd lets loose with a deafening "DUB-SEE-EFF" chant.
Price reaches ten but doesn't signal for the bell. He looks around at the crowd and then crosses his arms as he waits for somebody to get off the mat.
Zach Davis: He wasn't going to let the match end on a five count, I don't know why we thought he'd end it on a ten count.
All three men begin to stir on the mat finally and begin to crawl toward their corners.
Freddy Whoa: Whoever can make a tag first could end up deciding who wins this match!
All three men dive at once! Reb tags in Oblivion, Deuce tags in Phantasm, and McMorris tags in Beckman!
Zach Davis: HERE COMES THE WORLD CHAMPION!
All three men enter the ring with heads of steam and meet in the middle of it and begin brawling. The Monster Oblivion soon gets the upper hand and tosses Phantasm away like a rag doll.
Freddy Whoa: Lots of history there!
Oblivion and Beckman go toe to toe, trading rights and lefts!
Freddy Whoa: Oblivion is a former World Champion!, he's giving Beckman everything he's got!
Beckman is sent reeling. Oblivion goes to throw him to the ropes but Beckman reverses it and sends Oblivion powerfully towards his own corner. Beckman runs at Oblivion immediately. Oblivion hits Reb, knocking Reb off the apron. Beckman Clotheslines him out before hitting Gravedigger with a stiff right hand as well. He then turns back to Polar, who has stumbled up.
Zach Davis: HANGOVER DDT! BECKMAN HITS IT!
Right into the pin.
Freddy Whoa: Jayson Price counts the pin against his Pantheon brethren! Whoa!
Zach Davis: ICE Beckman scores the pinfall, and the Vapor Kings are victorious yet again!
The bell sounds as the fans begin to boo.
Freddy Whoa: What kind of ramifications does this have for One? Beckman and the Vapor Kings are on a high, will they ride that high into victory?
Zach Davis: We're talking about opponents like Bobby Cairo and Jonny Fly. No amount of momentum means anything when you're facing men of that calibur, Freddy.
Beckman raises his Title in the air as Polar rolls out of the ring and begins heading to the back.
Zach Davis: That was quite match, lot of grade-A talent going at it, but in the end, only one team could pull it out.
Freddy Whoa: That's right Zach...BUT IT LOOKS LIKE REB AND OBLIVION AREN'T QUITE DONE YET!
Indeed, Reb and Oblivion begin to sprint back to the ramp way from the ring area, getting the jump on Polar, making his way back to the locker room.
Zach Davis: THEY'RE GOING AFTER POLAR! THEY'RE GIVING HIM SOME NASTY PUNISHMENT!
Freddy Whoa: The match is over guys, calm down.
Polar tries his hardest to defend himself, but eventually he begins to wear down as Oblivion and Reb continue their assault.
Freddy Whoa: This is no bueno, man.
Zach Davis: Wait, Freddy, there's someone coming out the curtains!
A figure, clad in a leather jacket, jeans and a bandanna comes flying out the curtains, and wastes no time in going straight to the action. He catches Reb off guard by ripping him off of Polar and sending him to the ground. Oblivion sees this and before he can do anything, he gets hit with a nasty superkick from the masked figure.
Zach Davis: Is this who we think it is?!
With both Reb and Oblivion down, and a bewildered Polar looking on, the figure takes off his bandanna...
Zach Davis: IT IS! IT'S FRANK PATRICK VENABLE!
The crowd ERUPTS into applause as FPV helps Polar up to his feet. The two share some words inaudible to the crowd before embracing in a bro hug.
Freddy Whoa: we haven't seen FPV in months Zach, this is some pretty freaking awesome stuff we have going on right here.
Zach Davis: I don't think this is the last we've seen of these four yet.
We see a shot of Frank and Polar in an embrace before we cut to the announcers.
Freddy Whoa: This was the last stop before One, and I can't wait!
Zach Davis: We've got the match we've been waiting for, the showdown between the War winner and the World Champion... can Bobby Cairo regain the World Championship that he hasn't held since 2006? Can ANYONE defeat ICE Beckman?
Freddy Whoa: After everything we've seen tonight, who will win in the match that has been a year in the making? Jonny Fly and Steve Orbit battle one more time!
Zach Davis: I've just got it confirmed, we're going to get the return of FPV. FPV and the Polar Phantasm versus Oblivion and Johnny Reb has been added to the card! Gravedigger and Steeltoe Joe will do battle after tonight Gravedigger had MS-13 burn down Joe's church!
Freddy Whoa: After a hellacious feud, the Television Title is on the line as we'll see Occulo versus Joey Flash! The United States Title is up for grabs between Roy Speede, Zombie McMorris, and Deuce Murdock!
Zach Davis: We've received word that Jayson Price will be forced to put up the Internet Title in a Clockwork Orange House of Fun match! We've also got Adam Young's Cartel against Marc Mayhem, Justin Cash, and a mystery partner!
Freddy Whoa: The Scarecrow will be in a match declared by Odin Balfore in which he MUST use the Chokebreaker for the victory.. and Odin Balfore will be the special guest enforcer!
Zach Davis: The return of Jeff Purse, as he battles Eric Price in a renewal to their epic rivalry!Corey Black will be in action against an opponent of Seth's choosing! And we've got tons more matches yet to be announced, god damn, I can't wait!
Freddy Whoa: The World Championship battle between Cairo and Beckman is less than one week away! See you then, fans. WHOA!
Slam fades to black.