The fans are still shouting and screaming as the show is about to start till silence falls over the crowd as the lights go out and spotlights dance around the arena as a voice starts to speak over the sound system, It is the future... year 6969. Somewhere out in Megaspace. The Pelozees of The Lesbodyke Nebula, in order to continue breeding after removal from the Universe their last remaining enemy, men, created the PIL - Penile Impregnation Lingumbot. Rezark SP - a prototype PIL, accidentally launched Into chrono-space during the hyperfiber wars, has programmed a self-Replicating evo-loop and drifts for a kilo-year, alone and sentient in a Tele-operative trajectory above Planet Three-S: formerly known as Earth. Lowering his astrogate to Planet Three-S, Rezark SP, the last surviving Chrononaut, has a bad case of blue ballsium and one thing on his hydro-mind.................
Zach Davis: What in God’s name is going on here…
Freddy Whoa: I have absolutely no clue…
Gravedigger: Did someone say pussy?
The spotlights converge on the ring as fireworks explode from the ramp as The burden of being wonderful by Steel Panther blasts out of the speakers, the lights go wild with color and Marco Valintine leaps onto the stage as Michelle Williams walks along by next to him, dancing in time with the music he strips out of his jacket and trousers with fireworks going off behind him.
Kyle Steel: Introducing to the WCF, weighing in at 210 pounds and coming to us from Los Angeles California.... This is The sultan of sexual, The emperor of epicness, The Senator of Sexiness, The Incarnation of Incredible, The ambassador of awesome, The titan of titillation, the embodiment of exceptional, the host with the most and The Quintessential Ladies Man Marco Valintine.
Zach Davis: Did he say Marco Valintine?
Freddy Whoa: Yeah…along with his many, many nicknames…
Gravedigger: Where the Hell is the pussy? I’m disappointed…
Strutting down the ramp he claps the hands of the fans that are at ringside before leaping to the apron, after dancing a little more he leaps onto the top rope turning a 180 before moonsaulting into the ring landing on his feet as fireworks shoot out of the ring posts... He walks around the ring pointing at his fans as his music switches off he walks over to the announcer and takes the microphone…
Marco Valintine: Hello everyone… I am back… The sultan of sexual, The emperor of epicness, The Senator of Sexiness, The Incarnation of Incredible, The ambassador of awesome, The titan of titillation, the embodiment of exceptional, the host with the most and The Quintessential Ladies Man Marco….
He takes a deep breath closing his eyes for a moment soaking in the cheers of the fans…
Marco Valintine: Why go to the movies when you can stay home and see me, the one the ladies call Big Daddy, the one who already slept with the Generals Daughter and the one who truly knows how to Inspect-her Gadget, I am dripping with sarcasm, as your girlfriend is dripping from orgasm, for I am back here in the WCF and a goodness gracious, great balls of fire God damn handsome man, whether the ladies are home or here in Raleigh North Carolina , they're watching me and masturbating over me… Valintine…
Zach Davis: Is that even PG?
Freddy Whoa: Since when the Hell did we become the WWE?
Gravedigger: Yeah, you stupid fool, we’re not WWE, we’re not PG so shut up!
As the fans are laughing and the women are screaming, Marco paces around the ring with a big smile on his face enjoying the adulation…
Marco Valintine: Yes I am back along with my sultry sidekick Michelle I am here to wow you all with my glistening six pack and my dazzling aerial display in this ring from this week onwards aren’t you all lucky people…
A “WE ARE LUCKY” Chant starts around the arena which makes Marco laugh a little…
Zach Davis: I guess these fans really do believe they’re lucky…
Freddy Whoa: It certainly sounds that way Zach…
Gravedigger: I’ll be lucky if this guy actually ever shuts the Hell up…
Marco Valintine: But I have more wonderful WCF fans, next week I shall be starting my own talk show called the Love pad… I will get the questions you want to hear from the superstars and I shall get the dirt from the hated along with the fantasies of the women… You may ask me why I came back well I couldn’t stay away, I want to entertain you all and steal the show like you all know I will… Gold, girls and parties shall be mine my friends and today is just the start… Just like your girlfriends panties slides down her legs and her legs do part… And just like champions from titles I shall split them apart… Marco Valintine…
Zach Davis: This guy certainly doesn’t have boundaries when it comes to saying what he wants too…
Freddy Whoa: Well this is WCF, people here say and do whatever they damn well please…
Gravedigger: Is this piece of crap done yet?
He drops the microphone and The burden of being wonderful by Steel panther starts to play and Marco dances a little with Michelle before getting out the ring and both of them walking up the ramp giving one last wave to the crowd before leaving the stage…
Zach Davis: Well what a return for Marco Valintine…
Freddy Whoa: Indeed…
Gravedigger: I so hope he asks me to be his first guest on this Love Pad of his, so I can beat his ass and end this fool’s return to WCF before it even gets started…
Zach Davis: Welcome back from commercial, folks. We've got a lot more action coming your way, but first I've been told that Oblivion has a special announcement.
The God of Insanity is already in the ring. IT wears an ill-fitting, tattered sport coat over ITS wrestling gear and carries a briefcase dotted with rust-colored stains. IT snatches a microphone from a ringside attendant. The instant Oblivion's fingers brush against the younger man's hand, the attendant's entire demeanor begins to shift subtly.
Freddy Whoa: This can't be good; he's got a table in there!
Gravedigger: Shut up and let The Monster talk.
Oblivion stops, looks up and slowly moves IT's eyes around, while holding IT's head at an odd angle. Oblivion slowly runs IT's tongue just right under the bottom part, of IT'S upper lip. The God of Insanity sets the briefcase on the table and lifts the microphone to ITS lips.
Oblivion: Soon, WCF Galaxy, in just mere moments, you will all bear witness to Oblivion's most glorious triumph! You worthless Meatsacks have seen a new alliance forming. An alliance never thought possible before.... NOW. Many impossible things have come to pass. Many more is yet to come! Behold!! Look on, MY MEATSACKS!! Gaze at the face of the man once the Monster's sworn enemy.... JOHNNY REB!
The curtain is swept aside to reveal Reb, who steps onto the stage, gazing over the audience imperiously. He moves swiftly down the ramp. The crowd's raucous calls, follows The Inveterate Confederate as he slips under the bottom rope. He holds out an impatient hand to the ringside attendant, who's eyes have now rolled back so that only the whites are showing. His lips form silent words unheard since the reign of the Elder Gods. Nevertheless, the attendant manages to pass a mic to Reb.
Dark Johnny: What is all this, Oblivion?
A wide, almost cheerful grin stretches the Monster's face nearly to the breaking point. This is accompanied by a mirthful rumble in ITS chest. The attendant at ringside, as if in imitation, begins to giggle in a maniacal, uncontrollable sort of way.
Zach Davis: Is it just me, or does Oblivion look... happy?
Freddy Whoa: Whoa... that is the most terrifying thing I've seen yet.
Gravedigger: You two are a couple of pussies, all soft and pink. Shit's about to get real, girls. Pay attention.
With a sense of ceremony, Oblivion pops the lock on the briefcase and opens it. Inside is a rolled-up sheet of parchment and an elaborate pen of silver. Carefully, the Monster takes the roll and shakes it out. It drapes over either side of the table. The color of the ink is the same as the rusty stains on the case or the rancid blood from a rotting carcass. The words themselves are a curious mix of old Latin, modern English, and some odd symbols that seem to almost float above the page. At the unfurling of the paper, the ringside attendant drops to his knees in an ecstatic state, body swaying slightly, with his arms raised slightly upward with palms up. His continuous blank gaze cast heavenward. The very air crackles with tense anticipation.
Dark Johnny: A contract... but what for?
Oblivion: The Dark Timekeeper and the God of Insanity together are a force unstoppable. Our legend echoes already through History, Time and Madness... There remains only one step further... to cement our partnership, that we may obtain the prize which has eluded both of us these many months...
Zach Davis: What is Oblivion talking about?
Freddy Whoa: I don't have a clue on what Oblivion is talking about.
Gravedigger: If you two shut up for a moment, maybe we all COULD find out!
The Monster picks up the ornate silver pen, handling it carefully as he offers it to Reb. Johnny takes it, but hesitates, suspicious eyes on the contract.
Oblivion: We have pursued the same goal. Johnny Reb wants the tag titles. Oblivion wants the tag titles. It only makes sense.
The crowd inside The PNC Arena begin to stir. Murmurs begin to be heard. The Dark Timekeeper eyes Oblivion distrustfully, then looks over the contract one more time. With a shrug and a smirk, Dark Reb adjusts the pen and reaches forward to sign the contract and nearly drops the pen, when something sharp pierces the skin of his hand. Blood drips onto the parchment. As soon as the bright crimson touches the page, it forms itself into a signature.
Several things happen simultaneously: the ringside attendant's odd swaying and moaning reaches a fever pitch. Words born, of pure insanity, are torn from the lips of the ringside attendee, but the sound is lost in a crash of thunder. The entire arena begins to tremble. Lightning dances through the rafters and triggers the fire-suppression system. Sprinklers overhead rain down a scarlet liquid slightly more viscous than water.
Something lands heavily on the announce table with a wet splat.... a very large, slimy bullfrog.
Zach Davis: Holy shit! It's like the ten plagues of Egypt up in here!
More frogs emerge from unseen places, hopping around outside the ring or moving through the nervous audience.
Freddy Whoa: Nuh-uh. Lerch don't pay me enough to put up with this shit!
Freddy Whoa rips his headset off and dives under the table. Zach tries to join him, but Freddy pushes him away, leaving him no choice but to try the nearest alternative. At that precise moment, the entire Gathering emerge from beneath the ring, spreading out to add to the chaos taking hold throughout the arena. Poor Zach is tripped by some twisted, inhuman thing and immediately pounced on by several crazed dark underlings. Gravedigger remains in his seat, grinning from ear to ear. But, Gravedigger remains calm and implacable as ever.
Oblivion: BEHOLD, WCF GALAXY! WITNESS THIS HISTORIC MOMENT!! THIS PACT BETWEEN JOHNNY REB AND THE GOD OF INSANITY! KNEEL, MORTALS AND PAY HOMAGE TO THE UNHOLY ALLIANCE HENCEFORTH KNOWN AS...
Dark Johnny/Oblivion: THE CHRONO-RIPPERS!
Oblivion snatches up the parchment. Both men drop their mics and leave the ring. The moment they disappear behind the curtain, the sprinklers overhead shut off, the frogs vanish completely, and the Gathering slink away. The ringside attendant, now released from Oblivion's power, begins foaming at the mouth and slumps to the floor. Medics rush in.
Gravedigger: YES! This is the best news since.. um... Hey, where did you two fuckheads go? Anyway, ladies and gentlemen of the WCF Galaxy, if you're just tuning in, we have had a major development. Oblivion and Johnny Reb, enemies since forever, are now a tag team with their sights set on a title run. Bobby C and his protege Kaz better watch out...
Out of nowhere, the arena lights flash violently as sonic thunder roars through, as lightning flashes. In between the flashes, an image walking on the rafters, of the PNC Arena.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!! IF THIS NIGHT WASN'T ANY MORE BIZARRE. BUT, DIDN'T WE JUST SEE THE IMAGE OF ACE SLAUGHTER. THE REAL ACE SLAUGHTER WALKING THE RAFTERS?
Zach Davis: OH MY GOD... IT IS!! IT'S BEEN AWHILE SEEN WE SEEN THAT NEWCOMER. ACE SLAUGHTER IS SEEKING REVENGE AGAINST OBLIVION FOR THE TORMENT HE HAS PUT ON THE LIFE OF STEPHAN JOHNSON!!
Gravedigger: WAH.... WAH.... WAH!! You damn pussies. Get your asses up here!! It WAS Ace Slaughter that we all saw. It looks as if Slaughter is taking his time before he seeks revenge against Oblivion. But, in the meantime Johny Reb and The Monster Oblivion has formed into the team of The Chrono Rippers. But, for now, we'll be right back....
Ultimate Destroyer runs down comes down to air raid/police sirens jumping up the ring bounces around (ultimate warrior style) and then starts ot beat the hell out of the first person he sees.
Gravedigger: ULTIMATE DESTROYER JUST BEAT THE HELL OUT OF A RANDOM FAN!
"I Like to Move It" by Reel 2 Reel plays over the sound system. Tyler Walker emerges from the back with white pyros at the entrance. He's wearing his black and gold letterman jacket with "TW" embroidered in the front, "TY WALKER" on the back. He's also wearing black shades, a white tank top and his black shorts with "TW" written around the belt line. Black boots and has his wrists taped. He slowly makes his way to the ring with a cocky smile on his face, bobbing his head to his music as he ignores the fans. When he hits the ring, he climbs on the apron, drops his jacket to ringside, and does a few body builder poses, as more white pyros blast off. He enters the ring through the ropes and removes his tank top and shades, throwing them to ringside before getting ready to fight.
Zach Davis: Here we-
Before Zach can even finish his sentence Destroyer is on Walker like white on rice. He Clotheslines Walker down and Walker gets back up and flexes.
Freddy Whoa: TYLER WALKER ISN'T AFRAID!
Ultimate Destroyer calms down for a second in order to control himself and flex some more himself!
Gravedigger: We've got a good old fashioned muscle-off!
Tyler Walker flexes himself again but Ultimate Destroyer kicks him out of nowhere!
Zach Davis: This went from a muscle-off to a jerk-off!, what a jerk!
Freddy Whoa: ZACH! PHRASING!
Destroyer drops and pins Walker.
NO TYLER WALKER IS ALIVE!
Gravedigger: Shoulder up! This young Tyler Walker fellow was doing well up until he decided to get back with Biohazard. Now look at him.
Destroyer picks Tyler Walker up and Powerbombs him. Destroyer then stomps at Walker and lifts him up throws him to the top rope. Destroyer lifts Walker up.
Gravedigger: This doesn't look good for Tyler Walker!
Destroyer climbs up with Tyler Walker and hits a Top Rope Powerbomb!
Zach Davis: Dayuuummmm son.
Freddy Whoa: And the Destroyer has, well, destroyed Tyler Walker here tonight.
But The Destroyer isn't done! He lifts Walker in a neck hang and is about to football punt his testes!
Zach Davis: THE SOPRANO! BUT THE MATCH IS OVER! WHY, DESTROYER, WHY!?
BIOHAZARD HITS THE RING!
Biohazard tackles Destroyer down before Destroyer can kick Walker's walkies. Destroyer quickly gets the upper hand and lifts Biohazard up and Piledrives him!
Gravedigger: Hah! Take that, Bio-idiot.
Destroyer rolls out of the ring and heads to the back, leaving BioWalker in his dust.
Seth is inside of his office enjoying the latest episode of TMZ on his laptop, when he hears a knock at the door. However, Seth is laughing really hard at the segment about how the televison show Orange is the new Black turns chicks on the show into lesbians. However, he catches his breath long enough to say...
Seth Lerch: Come in!
"Gonzo" Deuce Murdock came walking in the door, without his lawyer or his manager. He does have a piece of paper, which he hands to Seth Lerch, which was a rather long list of names of people in the federation, albeit most of the names were guys on the Jobber list. However, the top four names did draw Seth's attention, and Seth says...
Seth Lerch: So these are all the guys who want to face you for the title? And I'm supposed to consider these guys? There's only one name on here that's qualified to take a shot at you, and he's occupied.
Deuce Murdock: Well, tell that to him. He wants a rubber match, and to be honest, I wouldn't mind it, either. We can even make it one of those House of Fun matches I keep hearing about.
Seth Lerch: After you just got done with a ladder match? You must be out of your mind.
Deuce Murdock: Well, what about the other guys? Scarecrow, Occulo, and Mayhem have been around for a bit...
Seth Lerch: Kaz probably responded because Scarecrow really doesn't deserve a shot. None of these guys deserve a shot!
Deuce Murdock: Oh HORSESHIT! THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMEONE WITH THE STONES TO FACE ME THAT IS WORTH A GOOD GODDAMN!
Seth Lerch: I may have someone in mind, but it may take me until the PPV to make sure that I can get his services.
Deuce Murdock: Oh God... Are you telling me that my opponent is going to be a "Mystery Opponent"?
Seth Lerch: Perhaps. Or maybe it's "Mystery Opponents"...
Deuce Murdock: Ah, horseshit... Well, there's my list. Like it or lump it. But remember this about those guys. You might want to give them more than one shot at stuff, unless you want them like me, just taking shit and turning out broken guys left and right. That is your call, sir...
With that, Deuce turns and leaves the office, as Seth, who was jovial before while watching TMZ, is now quite opposite of that feeling, as Deuce's words hang in the air as he leaves the office.
As we come back from commercial, Wolverina, Stuart Slane, and Sin Rostro Jr. are all in the ring.
Zach Davis: One more wrestler to come... here is Metal Dragon!
"Stabbing the Drama" by Soilwork hits the PA, the crushing guitar reverberating through the venue as the decorated middleweight Metal Dragon steps through the curtain. The Tennessee native takes a moment to pan his eyes over the cheering crowd, raising one arm with a clenched fist while soaking in the adoration. Walking to the ring, MD sticks his arms out to allow high-fives from some fans whilst not allowing his gaze to avert from his opponents.
Gravedigger: Why does this guy get a special entrance? Psht.
The bell sounds and Stuart Slane quickly... drops down and rolls out of the ring. He begins heading up the ramp.
Freddy Whoa: Uh...
Gravedigger: Slane is smart. This is a man that has wrestled Jonny Fly. He knows he's too good for this match and he's leaving.
Wolverina runs at Metal Dragon and gets a kick to the gut for her troubles. Metal Dragon follows up with a Snap Suplex. Sin Rostro Jr. hits Dragon with a few clubbing blows to the back but Metal Dragon shrugs them off, turns, and blocks one of SRJ's strikes. Dragon hits a few of his own, sending SRJ reeling, and then kicks him and executes a Swinging Neckbreaker.
Zach Davis: Awesome effort so far by Metal Dragon!
Dragon kicks SRJ a few times before turning to Wolverina, whom has stumbled to her feet. He hits her with a front kick to the stomach, followed by a roundhouse and hook kick to the sides of the head. He then hits an axe kick to the back of the cranium, driving her to the mat!
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! He calls that the Dragon Rush! What an amazing combination!
Wolverina rolls back out of the ring. Sin Rostro Jr. is up and grabs Metal Dragon, going to irish whip him, but Dragon reverses it. SRJ is sent into the ropes instead and Dragon runs at him...
Zach Davis: DRAGONFIRE SPEAR!
The crowd roars as Metal Dragon hypes them up. SRJ gets back to his feet and Dragon is behind him...
Gravedigger: Death Metal! I like the ring of that, and Metal Dragon just hit it.
Dragon pins SRJ.
Freddy Whoa: Metal Dragon picks up the victory in our opener!
Dragon stands up as his music starts to play, getting his arm raised.
Zach Davis: Not everyone gets to start their WCF debut with a victory but Metal Dragon has that under his belt. Where will he go from here?
We see Occulo fitting some gloves on his dressing room. The room is dark except for a dimly lit lamp next to him. He looks pumped and angered.
Occulo: You know I hate people who take things for granted. I hate it especially when they do it at the cost of someone else. Oblivion and Johnny Reb, two guys who decided to interfere in my shot for the People’s title. Two guys who thought “It’ll be alright, Occulo’s a nice guy. He’ll just walk away with the understanding that this is nothing to do with him and everything will be cool” Well, things aren’t quite going to turn out like that boys. You can’t just hope that I’ll FORGET what you did. You cost me a title shot and you cost me my word with the people. I don’t forgive easily, but revenge is something I’ve found all too simple recently.
Watch your fucking backs boys. Oh and Seth, don’t think this isn’t your problem either. This isn’t just going to blow over. By your reckoning obviously I’ve earned the chance to fight for this title, and I did NOT deserve to just be discarded because of those guys pathetic little squabble. So here’s the way it’s going to go down. You’ve ignored me before and I will not let you ignore me again. On Sunday and every Sunday after that Occulo is going to play a little game with you. It’s simply called “Give me a title shot or Occulo will kick the shit out of someone until you do” Okay it’s not very catchy but hell I need you to understand every single beat of this rhythm I’m playing here.
I can play this game and twist the rules in any way I like because I deserve that creative freedom. Your creativity is something I have questioned more and more Seth. You clearly don’t give a fuck about your roster. I get SCREWED out a title shot match and what do I get as compensation? A fucking one on one with that dithering retard Marc Mayhem. I mean come on. Have I actually started again here? I can assume I was rewarded for my great show against Joey Flash with the title shot. Fair enough but thats all gone out the window hasn’t it? I’d have beat Scarecrow and Speede with ease.
I’m sick of all these poondock saints and vapor kings and all that crap. How everything here seems to be running through them. I mean everyone else who isnt part of those little clubs are suffering and are largely being ignored. I really don’t blame Joey Flash for his similar feelings to mine. There is an arrogant clique here. I know that, you know that first hand. Look at Dan Van Slade, poor guy. He won his shot at that bore Steve Orbit ages ago, and look fuck all happened. Some guys here are happy to just let you guys sit at the adult table and fair enough, people have different intentions here. I’m sick of sitting at the kid’s table and I think a few other guys are also. Flash included.
Well prepare for your after dinner entertainment, delivered first hand to the adult table.
The lamp switches off as we..
Zach Davis: Big big BIG tag team match right here. This is one of those matches that could determine future Tag Team contendership.
Gravedigger: You think so, Zach? I've been a Tag Team Champion in this company. MULTIPLE times. Whaddya know 'bout that life, bwoi?
Zach Davis: I'm not trying to step on any toes here, Digger--
Digger rises from his seat and pie-faces Zach, shoving him to the filthy ground beneath the announce table while pounding his own chest in a King Kong-like fashion and berating his colleague.
Gravedigger: You don't know nothing about it, Zach! I've lived that life! I'm the man! I'm the Hall of Famer! You can take your observations and your witticisms and tell your story walkin', kid!
Freddy Whoa: Digger, please!
Gravedigger: You want a Grave Marker, Freddy?
Freddy Whoa: NO! I just--
Gravedigger: You shut up and do your damn job, Whoa-man. You'll be singing WHOA NELLY on some Furtado shiz before I get through with ya. Singin' soprano, son...
Kyle Steel: And now-- from Portugal-- JACKSON, "THE FENIX", WHIII-IIITE!!
As the weirdo trip-hop instrumentalisms of Fuse's "Neuroma" navigate the PA system, Jackson "The Fenix" White walks slowly to the ring. His hoody tops his dome as he looks down at the ground, walking that solitary path that only a FENIX could know. Jackson enters the ring and stretches both of his arms to his sides, then looks up as though he were looking at his father. Some pyrotechnics similar to Kane's begin to explode at the ringside area.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! Funk was that all about?
Gravedigger: That's the Fenix rising, Zach. I mean Freddy. That's something I know all about, being an Arizona native and such.
Freddy Whoa: I think that's a different kind of Phoenix, Digger.
Gravedigger: You wanna end up like Zach, Freddy?
Freddy Whoa: No, thank you, sir.
Kyle Steel: And his partner-- from the Mojave Desert-- DUUUU-UUUUNNNN-EEEEE!!
The lights fade and “Heat Miser” by Massive Attack begins in the darkness. Smoke pours out just beyond the entrance as two beams of golden light move slowly around the arena. Dune appears as the last burst of smoke issues, walking upright and determined. His cold eyes scan the audience, raising an upturned hand if there are cheers and scowling if there are boos. He slides into the ring and is quick to his feet in the center, where he raises his head to the rafters as each corner post issues a final hiss of smoke before the lights come on again.
Gravedigger: This is Dune?
Freddy Whoa: That's correct, Digger.
Gravedigger: Looks like a tough customer. But can he throw down?
Freddy Whoa: He fared well in his debut last week. Don't you remember?
Gravedigger: If I remembered would I be asking you questions? Imbecile.
Zach Davis comes to from beneath the announce table.
Zach Davis: May I return to commentary, Digger?
Gravedigger: Only if you can balance out this idiot to my right.
Zach Davis: I can manage.
Gravedigger: What's with these wack ass instrumental tracks these guys use for their walk-in themes? I want something with a driving bassline, dammit. Hit Digger with that rhythm, yo!
"Demi Gods" by LabRatz starts playing as Tom Joad and Chaz James step into the arena. They start towards the ring and Adam Young steps out behind them in a black suit. The duo just stares into the ring with blank stares. They reach the ring and stand next to it. Adam climbs up on the ring steps and the duo slides in under the bottom rope. Purple and black streamers fill the ring.
Gravedigger: YEAH! Now this is my joint right here!
Digger nods his head to the hip-hop beat as the Kings of Chaos work the crowd, Adam Young waving that skull and bones flag high and proud.
Zach Davis: AY is the leading Dixiecrat in pro rasslin' today, with all due respect to Jonny Reb.
Gravedigger: AY could be President of these United States, but he don't wanna take a pay cut, Zach.
Freddy Whoa: AY is a shrewd businessman and we've seen that with the litany of talent that he's guided into battle through the years.
Gravedigger: Young is paying these dudes minimum wage and getting maximum return on his investment. That's smart. They lose a hundred matches in a row and he's still getting his end away every night. This is why I love the veteran intellect, you guys.
Zach Davis: I was wondering why we hadn't seen Troy Malenko in recent years, Digger.
Gravedigger: That nigga's sellin' hubcaps on the side of the road for a living in Boca Raton, Zach.
Chaz "Bullet Ride" James starts off the match against Jackson White. The Fenix connects with a toe kick and aims for a clothesline, but Chaz counters with a jumping heel kick.
Zach Davis: Stiff kick by the Bullet Boy!
Gravedigger: That was a Washington Bullet right there. What else does this Chaz James have in his arsenal?
Chaz sets up Fenix for the tilt-o-whirl backbreaker, but Fenix counters and gets that clothesline this time. Fenix flexes his bicep, indicating that he damn near ripped Chaz's head off the neck with that clobberin' blow.
Freddy Whoa: Jackson "The Fenix" White making a statement. He gets Chaz back to his feet. Scoop slam. Into the elbow drop. And now a sleeper. He's wearing the Texas native down.
Zach Davis: But Tom Joad comes into the ring and breaks it up! He's not gonna let his partner get taken advantage of by some Portuguese newcomer!
The referee, that Zip Wingdinger, admonishes Tom Joad and orders him back to his corner. Adam Young climbs onto the apron. He slips a pair of brass knux to Chaz James. Chaz quickly puts the knux to good use.
Gravedigger: Chaz just pummeled White with those brass knuckles! This is why I love the mind of Adam Young! He's always scheming to the advantage of his pupils! That's an intelligent wrestling mind!
The crowd boos as Chaz pins Fenix.
Fenix gets his shoulder up with a forceful kick-out. Fenix actually gets to his feet before Chaz and he whips the burly Texan into the ropes. Fenix charges...
Freddy Whoa: Big boot by Jackson White! He dropped Chaz James like a sack of moldy tangerines!
Zach Davis: The fans liked that and Fenix is getting pumped up! He's daring Tom Joad to come into the ring! He's even taunting Adam Young, who's fuming at ringside!
Fenix ultimately decides to tag Dune into the match. Dune climbs into the ring and whips Chaz James into the ropes. Dune and Fenix team up for a double clothesline, before Fenix leaves the ring and Dune makes the pin.
Zach Davis: Good teamwork by Dune and Fenix, though Chaz managed to kick out. The Kings of Chaos are the more experienced duo, but ya gotta think Dune and Fenix are hungry to get their first victory after the disappointment of their debut last week.
Gravedigger: Listen, they know their jobs are on the line each and every time they step into the ring.
As if heeding Digger's words, Dune moves into action with an Inverted DDT and then sets Chaz up for the Pumphandle.
Zach Davis: Dune is about to take Chaz James for a ride-- but NO! Adam Young is on the apron! Dune gives chase-- and Chaz gives him a clobbering from behind!
Double ax handle shots from Chaz James slow the big man Dune down in his path.
Crowd: KINGS OF KAY-OSS! *CLAPCLAPCLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
Gravedigger: Three people in the audience just started a Kings of Chaos chant.
Zach Davis: Chaz is taking advantage of Dune now, the veteran savvy on display. OHH! Chaz James hits a hangman's neckbreaker! That's a bullet ride in a nutshell by the Bullet Man!
Chaz pins Dune.
Freddy Whoa: Dune comfortably got the shoulder up, but Chaz is letting the kid know that he's in a wrestling match. This ain't the Mojave Cactus League anymore, this is the big time. This is Dub See Eff, Digger.
Gravedigger: This is Dub See Eff and you gotta be on your game each and every time you set foot in the ring. All of the promise and potential in the world doesn't guarantee you a victory, especially when you're in there against a more experienced duo such as the Kings of Chaos.
Adam Young shouts instructions to his charges from ringside. Chaz makes the tag to Tom Joad and together they work Dune over with stiff forearms and uppercuts.
Zach Davis: This is some good, old school style, Southern brawling right here.
Gravedigger: I can guarantee you that Adam Young loves seeing this from his team. I'm getting a chubby myself just watching it as an impartial commentator.
Chaz and Joad get him up... and hit a vicious powerbomb/running neckbreaker combo!
Zach Davis: Rites of Passage! Dune just got taken to school by the Kings of Chaos! That's gonna do it!
Joad makes the pin on Dune.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! Dune kicked out! And now he's Hulking up! He just dismissed Chaz James from the ring with a jump crescent kick and now he's got Tom Joad in his crosshairs!
Gravedigger: And he's not sittin' down at the campfire light with the ghost of Tom Joad-- he wants to hurt this protege of Adam Young!
Dune spears Tom Joad damn-near outta his boots and quickly follows with a full nelson slam. Dune goes at Joad some more with a Pendulum backbreaker-- Joad tries to fight it, but Dune overpowers him and cracks Tom's spine against the broad side of his knee. The desert inhabiting masked man signals that it's time for him to clutch Joad, Camel style-- and he does so!
Zach Davis: Camel clutch! Old country way! Fuck ass, break back, make humble! Joad is tapping like a school girl sings that sweet song of love-- but Adam Young is on the apron waving that Old Glory Skull and Bones flag!
Zip Wingdinger is trying to rein in the legendary A-Y while Dune finally relinquishes the clutch, realizing that he's wasting energy. Dune charges at A-Y, and tries for a big boot, but A-Y drops off the apron and Dune gets caught in the ropes. A groggy Tom Joad has enough left in the tank to schoolboy Dune from behind.
Zach Davis: That was a close call but Dune would not be defeated!
Gravedigger: You can sense the anger in Dune. He had Joad beat but A-Y was one step ahead as always, protecting his investment by looking out for the best interests of his clients.
Fenix reaches out to Dune for the tag, but the Kings of Chaos wisely cut off the ring.
Zach Davis: Fenix is arguing with the ref and--OOF! Adam Young just clobbered Dune with the flag!
Gravedigger: Old Glory Skull & Bones! You know the Digger loves that!
Joad makes the pin on Dune.
Zach Davis: Dune powers out again, but how long can he hold out against this ridiculous numbers game of the Kings of Chaos?
Gravedigger: Not for much longer. He's gotta make the tag to his partner. Dune has done well when he's had Joad or James one-on-one, but he's not at the stage of his development where he can battle both of them bulls at once PLUS Adam Young. That takes a seasoned veteran such as yours truly... a Hall of Famer, as it were.
Freddy Whoa: You love to throw that in there, don't cha?
Gravedigger: I get my end away EVERY night, Freddy. Do you?
Fenix leads the crowd in a chant.
Crowd: LET'S GO, DUNE! LET'S GO, DUNE! LET'S GO, DUNE!
Gravedigger: Are they singing that dumb ass song from Frozen? Now I really hope they lose. GIT R DONE, A-Y!
A-Y once again climbs onto the apron, trying to distract Dune. This time Fenix pulls him off the apron and slams him to the floor outside of the ring. Chaz James comes around to assail Fenix, but he eats a BIG BOOT for his efforts.
Zach Davis: Fenix had enough of standing on the sidelines and watching Adam Young interfere-- he saw something and he did something!
Inside of the ring, Joad tries to waylay Dune but Dune shrugs him off and drops him with a front powerslam. Dune senses that it's time to go in for the kill-- he drops his shoulder straps.
Zach Davis: The straps are down! Dune means business!
Dune gets Joad into position for the double underhook. Chaz James climbs into the ring to try and break it up, but Fenix cuts him off in his path, clotheslining him over the top. Dune lifts Joad into the air for his patented crucifix powerbomb.
Zach Davis: Sandstorm! Dune's got him!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! I think Dune broke him in half with that move!
Zach Davis: The team of Dune and Fenix are victorious in their first tag team match together! This could be the start of a potent duo that could really make some noise in the tag team division!
Gravedigger: I'll give credit where it's due-- this was a solid victory for the greenhorns. Anytime you get a victory over an Adam Young led tandem you're puttin' in work.
Fenix climbs back into the ring to celebrate with Dune as "Heat Miser" heats up the PA system.
We open with Joey Flash stood in a grey suit and tie combo, his hair tied neatly back in a ponytail. He bows his head at the camera and begins speaking.
Joey Flash: Hello there, I’m Joey Flash, WCF Television Champion. It has been brought to my attention a lot of people were uncomfortable following my foul mouth ti-tired? Tirade last week. For this I apologise.
Joey tugs at his collar, looking clearly uncomfortable.
Joey Flash: I apologise to all of the people I offended, the homosexual community especially, my liberal use of deroggy...derogity...derogative words has no place on a nationally televised programme. For that I am deeply sorry.
It becomes clear that Joey is struggling mightily with a teleprompter.
Joey Flash: Coupled with a highnous, heinous attack on the man we know as Seifer Black. I consider Seifer both a friend and a great competitor and wish him nothing best in his recovery.
This is Joey Flash, I apologise.
We return from a commercial break to hear, “Master of Puppets” by Metallica play over the area’s speakers. A chorus of boos begins to reverberate over the auditorium.
Zach Davis: Here comes the boss!
Gravedigger: Straighten your tie, Fudd!
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! Yeah, Zach!
Gravedigger: Shut up, Freddy.
Kyle Steel: Ladies and Gentlemen. Please fall silent; and show your undying love and respect for your spiritual leader and mentor.
Crowd: SHUT DA FUCK UP! SHUT DA FUCK UP! SHUT DA FUCK UP!
Kyle Steel: The keeper of free speech; the voice of the common man.
Crowd: SHUT DA FUCK UP! SHUT DA FUCK UP! SHUT DA FUCK UP!
Kyle Steel: The paragon of peace. The envoy of entertainment.
Crowd: SHUT DA FUCK UP! SHUT DA FUCK UP! SHUT DA FUCK UP!
Kyle Steel: Seeeeeth Lerch!
Seth appears on the ramp as his jumbotron plays overhead. He has a WCF branded microphone in his hand as he marches down to the ring at a brisk, enthusiastic pace. Seth’s face however is carved from stone, completely focused on the task at hand. An air of aggravation masked by false grace. He is alone.
Seth climbs into the ring and waves at the audience; there’s an edge of political chicanery about the whole situation. It’s as if he’s about to address congress for the first time. Seth’s wearing a neat suit and tie combination, his hair is unusually slicked back for him. He looks like a wrestling promoter trying to squeeze into the smaller shoes of a senator. This would appear to be Seth’s Capital Hill moment for some reason. Seth takes a moment out to allow the crowd to simmer down.
Seth Lerch: I have decided to grace your presence here tonight, to discuss a matter of descent. It has become apparent to me over the last few weeks that certain, “elements”, of this organization are spiraling out of control. I’ve always believed, since the day I took over this company way back in February of 2001, from the legendary Rick Mad himself; that an organization such as this needs a man at the helm willing to undertake, “pro-active” participation in the handling of such matters. It’s an omelets, eggs situation. And I have never been shy in cracking the shell. That’s how order is restored, that’s why the doors of this great and powerful organization remain open; while others descend into chaos and disarray. Every time I’ve strayed from this path, problems arise; I’ve been too soft in such matters before, and it’s cost me. It’s cost you, our audience. We’re an ever present force today, that’s not always been the case. But now? Our waters are calm, our course is true. And that’s due to the hands at the helm, mine; finally learning a valuable lesson.
Seth holds for a dramatic pause.
Seth Lerch: Words burn when you allow talent to stoke the fires.
Gravedigger: Man’s right, look at that Poondock shit we had last week! What a fucking disgrace!
Seth Lerch: This is a sport. A proud and honorable sport. Our responsibility to you, our fans, is to keep that honor intact. To maintain the respect we have earned throughout the world, from every corner of the fight community. Boxers throw down their cloves to join us. Cage fighters vacate octagons to latch on to our coat tails. WE ARE THE PINNACLE OF COMBAT SPORT! There is no higher plateau than us, and the foundations of this achievement rest on the backs of those that have entertained us throughout the years. Those that have understood and competed within the boundaries of honor and respect. When in 2006, the future of this company was threatened, I climbed into this very ring and fought Davey Ortega for the ownership of the WCF. The event was “Till Death Do Us Part”. I fought with dignity and respect that night for the honor to call myself this company’s owner.
Zach Davis: Yeah, that’s not exactly how I remember-
Gravedigger: Shut your piehole, Fudd!
Seth Lerch: Dignity, and respect. And what did I receive in return for my sportsmanship? The door, and my rear end through it.
Crowd: Ortega! Ortega! Ortega! Ortega! Ortega!
Seth Lerch: Who...is now nowhere to be seen. And that’s the point. Tides roll in and out, and on them travel talent in search of money, and power. We’re the destination of all manner of heroes and villains. With only one real constant between them. No one, gets anywhere, without MY say so.
Seth gestures towards the announce table.
Seth Lerch: Look to your right, ladies and gentlemen. Who do you see as our latest addition to commentary? Someone who gave to this sport, and acknowledged my authority.
Gravedigger: A true man of our time right there.
Seth Lerch: Those that give, I give back to. Those that take, and squander their opportunity? Those that challenge my authority? I dismantle. Publicly, if need be.
Gravedigger: Amen, my hero!
Seth Lerch: WCF is my house; it’s walls carry my toil, it’s roof is the summit of my achievement. When you walk into my house, a certain level of respect is expected. Last week on Slam; I was, well...I was disturbed.
Gravedigger looks shocked.
Gravedigger: Who? Who committed this travesty?! WHO BE DIS’ FUCK?!
Seth Lerch: Listening to Joey Flash rant and rave about glass ceilings, and networking, and road blocks to careers, and whatever the hell else he was on about; brought home to me the root cause of this little minor cult in the cord of...Crow.
Gravedigger: House of straw gonna go BOOM BITCH!
Crowd: SCARECROW! SCARECROW! SCARECROW! SCARECROW!
Seth Lerch: Scarecrow is deliberately attempting to sow the seeds of insurrection into this company, I will not allow--
“Take a little walk to the edge of town, across the tracks...”
Red Right Hand, by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds begins to play. Out steps Scarecrow, the huge man walks down the ramp at a steady pace. He’s wearing his new tee over his wrestling attire. Big cheers here for the Murder Machine.
Crowd: SCARECROW! SCARECROW! SCARECROW! SCARECROW!
Scarecrow climbs into the ring. Walks up to Seth. A mountain towering over a man.
Scarecrow: Sup, Foxcatcher?
Seth Lerch: And right there is the problem. No fucking respect.
Scarecrow: Look, I’m willing to lower the volume on the attitude for a moment. There doesn’t need to be any more problems between us. My problems with the Poondocks, with Odin Balfore--
Seth Lerch: A trusted aid.
Scarecrow: Whatever, they’re not your concerns. They’re mine. Our problems began with me. I’ll admit that. And I’m here to offer you a truce. So we can both--
Seth Lerch: “When good people in any country, cease their vigilance and struggle? Then evil men prevail.”
Scarecrow shakes his head.
Scarecrow: What the fuck are you doing, Seth?
Seth Lerch: I’m quoting Perl S. Buck. I live in a state of continuous vigilance. You should understand that, isn’t that what Scarecrows do?
Scarecrow: It’s a name, not my occupation.
Seth Lerch: Vigilance is key; what happened between us, the fight? That crap occurs at least ten times every year with different talent. Don’t flatter yourself into thinking you’re something special in that regard. I’ll just file that incident under “Rookie exuberance” in my ledger of misdemeanor wrestling crimes. No, what concerns me is your ability to inspire.
Seth Lerch: You inspire decent. Joey Flash name dropped you because you inspired him to--
Scarecrow: I’m not Charles fucking Manson. I don’t inspire people to do anything. The talent in the back? The thousands in attendance...
CHEAP POP MOMENT.
Scarecrow: They have something called free will, they use it, when they choose. The fuck do I have to do with your paranoid delusions? Get a fuckin grip son!
Seth Lerch: I never relented my grip...BOY! My grip is cast in iron; it is--
"With Oden On Our Side”, by Amon Amarth hits as out walks the All Father to a HUGE POP!
Crowd: Futile to resist! You know why we have come! Futile to resist... the battle is.. already won!
Scarecrow: Holy Sheeeit, Seth! The Masked Man has returned! The revolution is now!
Seth Lerch: Just...just fuck off.
Odin walks down the ramp; teeth clenched with controlled fury as he enters the ring whilst carrying a microphone. Scarecrow clenches his right hand, pumping blood into his fists as he awaits the All fathers next move.
Gravedigger: What we need now, is a hole to open up and swallow both these fuckers. Freddy, go get me Sarlacc Pit!
Freddy Whoa: Whoa!
Odin blanks Seth and Marches straight up to Scarecrow and gets in his face. Eyes lock. An audience divided.
SCARECROW! BALFORE! SCARECROW! BALFORE! SCARECROW! BALFORE!
Scarecrow: So, you done run out of chocolate cake, Norseman?
Odin Balfore: I am officially sick of your shit. You jack my move, and don’t apologize. You lose at ONE to Kaz; and instead of taking the loss, you run your mouth on Slam like a rat up a busted sewer pipe. Son, you’re digging a hole for yourself so deep, you’re never gonna climb out. You throw my name around twitter and promos like you own it? FUCK YOU, YOU IGNORANT LITTLE SHIT! Your gonna drown in that attitude, believe me. I’ve Seen it a million times, and the punch line never gets old. It’s the same old history lesson nobody learns. You, Logan, Hellz Angel. They all had their moment. And then? Gone. My job here is to remind little punks like you of you’re place. This is WCF. This ring is soaked in the blood of fuckers who thought they could cross me. You’re a fool if you think you can just walk into my path, you can’t exist in my shadow, son. You simply don’t have the stones.
Scarecrow: Well, that speech was very fucking intense. I especially enjoyed watching your nostrils flare up like an old bull on heat, All Father. Very special moment we shared there. Anyone got a sick bucket?
Odin Balfore: You’re a blind man in a minefield, Crow. You think playing up to the crowd is gonna save your life? They have a minutes applause now at funerals.
Scarecrow: Don’t think for one moment that I’ve forgotten who you are. I don’t need no cane to see my way. My path is clear, and it runs straight through you! I gave you a chance at One to call it down the line, and you fucked up. You played stable boy and cost me the match!
Odin Balfore: You ran into me, you crossed the line!
Scarecrow: You stand behind me, get a tap, and its all bets off? The fuck idiot do you take me for? You pull a grand theft hardcore on my weapons stash, you practically throw Kaz at me for the win. Losing I can take, getting screwed out of a match? I can’t let shit like that go. If I do? Every fucker in the back gets a notion they can step up, and nobody walks over me, Balfore. NOBODY!
Seth Lerch: Actually, I’m willing to put that to the test, Straw Man. Please everyone, turn your attention, to the jumbotron.
Odin Balfore: The fuck you done, Seth?
Seth Lerch: Sometimes Odin, you just have to set the Monster free.
The jumbotron plays static for a moment, then through the haze we hear a woman’s crazed, high pitched screams. The scene now gains dimension and shape as we find ourselves inside Oblivion’s blood soaked torture sanctum. IT has a woman, barley alive, strapped to a gurney. She’s a mass of crimson tourniquets and blood soaked scissors, sliced to ribbons by the God of Insanity. He wraps one if his huge hands around her throat and turns her to face the camera.
Oblivion: Oh hi, Seth! Say hello to my boss, BITCH!
Woman: Heeeeeeeeeeelllllo, help me! Help me!
Oblivion: I’ve removed one of her kidneys, some of her spine. Her womb contained signs of fetal growth. Oops! Two for the price of one, there! Hell of a journey we’re on, me, and this fucking cow; I’ve pumped her with enough epinephrine to wake up a Rhino. I want her to see it all, to experience it all. With us, you...and me Scarecrow. Nothing like a good wide awake autopsy to get the blood flowing, don’t you think?
Odin stares blankly at Seth; shakes his head. Turns back to face Scarecrow.
Odin Balfore: You better have more than you’ve shown us, cause your azz is gonna need it.
Scarecrow stares at the screen as the woman screams, writing in agony.
Oblivion: In those name do you die? Say his name, SAY IT!
Woman: Scarecrow! Scarecrow! Please, for Gods sake!
The lights in the arena abruptly go dark, all we hear now are the woman’s screams, they too cut short. The snap of a neck perhaps to end the suffering.
For the Love of Life by David Sylvian hits the sound-system as every single light in the arena is illuminate at their brightest. When we hear the lyrics Occulo makes his way to the ring through the crowd.
Kyle Steel: This match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…from Washington DC…weighing in at 220lbs…Occulo!!
Freddy Whoa: Occulo! The man is commencing a new beginning here in the WCF and made the point that Marc Mayhem will be the first of many to be felled
Zach Davis: Yeah looks that little holiday in England did him good!
Gravedigger: Who goes on holiday in England? What an awful place. Quite possibly the WORST country in the world.
Occulo hops over the barrier, salutes the crowd and slides into the ring to rest on the ropes with his arms outstretched.
The arena goes black and Hail to the King by Avenged Sevenfold plays over the sound-system. A spotlight lights up the center of the ring. Marc walks out from behind the curtain.
Kyle Steel: And his opponent…from Madison, Wisconsin…weighing in at 220lbs…Marc Mayhem!!
Freddy Whoa: Marc Mayhem, the thorn in the side of the WCF looking to grab a victory over Occulo here tonight
Zach Davis: I think he shouldn’t be underestimated
Gravedigger: I hope he smashes that little wuss Occulo
He runs down the ramp while red pyros go off following him down. He slides under the ropes and warms up in the spotlight while he waits for his opponent.
The referee calls for the bell as the two of them size each other up
Freddy Whoa: Let’s not forget here that Marc Mayhem has never submitted here. Occulo debuted his Epitome lock and will no doubt be looking to end Marc’s streak here
They lock horns in the ring and Occulo immediately throws Marc to the mat and locks in a painful looking armbar.
Zach Davis: Occulo going straight for it!
Mayhem wiggles towards the ropes and grabs the bottom one. Occulo quickly jumps up and plants Marc, who is halfway up to the mat with a DDT. Marc rolls up and plants a dropkick to Occulo who staggers back onto the ropes. He runs and hits another dropkick which sends Occulo out the ring.
Gravedigger: Great job! That’s Occulo out for the ten count. Game over. Next?
Freddy Whoa: I’m pretty sure he’ll get up in time
Occulo does indeed get to his feet and waves a finger at Marc. He then climbs the steps and stands behind the turnbuckle. Marc goes for a third dropkick but Occulo catches his feet. Occulo somersaults over the turnbuckle and lands pinning Marc’s shoulders to the mat. The referee drops…
Kickout! Mayhem rolls out of it and the two men surface at the same time. Marc hits Occulo with a couple of punches to the gut, swings around and delivers a belly to back suplex.
Freddy Whoa: Great ingenuity by Occulo!
Zach Davis: That was pretty clever, but Mayhem has got the resiliency
Gravedigger: That suplex will be enough. Pin him!
Mayhem doesn’t take the advice however, but instead he bounces off the ropes and goes to land an elbow drop on Occulo who rolls out of the way and slams Marc with another DDT on his way down. He salutes the crowd again and lands some stomps on Marc. He lifts him up and runs Marc into the ropes who ducks a clothesline but runs straight into an elbow to the throat.
Freddy Whoa: Oesophagus Bureau!!
Zach Davis: The fat lady is singing!
Occulo doesn’t hit the rest of the move though, instead he hits yet another DDT and locks in The Epitome!!
Freddy Whoa: Oh my! Occulo is about to make history here!!
Zach Davis: That’s gotta hurt extra badly following that elbow!
Gravedigger: He should be disqualified!!
Occulo holds on as tight as possible whilst Marc stretches with all his might for the bottom rope
Occulo: Don’t let your streak go Marc!
He applies a bit more pressure yet Marc still manages to inch forward to the rope.
Freddy Whoa: Come on Occulo! Just that little bit more!!
Zach Davis: I doubt Marc has ever come closer to tapping than this!
Marc’s reach fades and he screams in pain. He raises his hand in the air and the referee checks him.
Freddy Whoa: He’s done it!! Marc’s faded! Two more drops of that arm and Marc’s submission record is all but over!!
Zach Davis: One more!! Come on Occulo!!
No! Marc clenches his fist and in one unbelievable lunge forward manages to clutch the bottom rope.
The crowd hold their hands on their heads and let out a disappointed sigh
Gravedigger: A’da boy!!
Occulo can’t believe it. He rolls off him and nods in appreciation. Marc splutters and gets to his feet. They run at each other and collide in the ring, bouncing off each other. Occulo responds with a left which connects, whilst Marc does the same with a right. This continues until Marc kicks Occulo in the gut and smashes him with the tap or snap!
Freddy Whoa: What a momentum shift!!
Zach Davis: Marc on the warpath now!! Occulo in trouble!!
Marc locks in the submission and this time Occulo is the one stretching for the bottom rope.
Gravedigger: Ding ding ding!!
Occulo stretches and stretches and finally manages to counter the hold with a hurracanrana.
He stretches his back the right way and ducks under a clothesline by Marc. On the way back though Occulo hits him with another Oesophagus Bureau followed by the subliminal message!!
Freddy Whoa: Great counter by Occulo! This could be it!!
Zach Davis: Fantastic stuff by Occulo!! The Subliminal Message hit with venom!!
Gravedigger: He got lucky that’s all.
The referee drops..
The bell rings. Occulo shoots to his feet and raises his arm with the referee.
Freddy Whoa: Vital win for Occulo and what a way to do it!
Zach Davis: Much needed momentum. What a great match!
Gravedigger: Pfft. Overrated if you ask me.
Occulo rolls out underneath the bottom rope, Marc begins stirring to his feet, grabbing onto the ring ropes for support.
Zach Davis: Quite a match between these two.
Freddy Whoa: Sure was. I think it's easy to assume that both Occulo and Marc are going to have a bright future in WCF.
A drum beat rolls. The audience explodes with excitement.
Gravedigger: I recognize the sound of that theme music.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! As does this audience. Whoa.
LOGAN emerges from behind the black curtains at the top of the ramp as Metallica "The Struggle Within" kicks in.
Zach Davis: We seen Logan make a brief appearance at One, after Marc Mayhem's match where he issued Seth Lerch a ticket to Connector City!
Logan stomps down the metal rampway, passing Occulo without even acknowledging him as Occulo heads to the back. Marc Mayhem is on his feet, resting against the turnbuckle and watching Logan cautiously as Logan slides underneath the bottom rope and pops to his feet. Logan freezes, simply staring Marc down. No exact expression on his face.
Zach Davis: Marc Mayhem just wrestled one hell of a hard fought match, but he looks like he's ready to take it to the Face of Treachery if he has to.
Gravedigger: Logan would squash this kid.
Freddy Whoa: These guys aren't taking their eyes off of one another. Wait... what's Logan doing?!
Zach Davis: He's clapping!
And yes, a bit of a smirk covers Logan's face as he watches Marc Mayhem and begins clapping.
Gravedigger: I wouldn't show these new chumps any respect. I can't believe Logan, a five time WCF World Champion, is giving this unknown an applause.
Freddy Whoa: It's called class, Digger. Something you apparently lack.
Gravedigger: What'd you say, cookie?
Freddy Whoa: COOKIE?!
Marc Mayhem simply watches on. A smirk of his own beginning to form. Logan walks over to the ring ropes, signaling an official outside the ring, who throws Logan... a hotdog?
Zach Davis: When the hell did we start keeping hotdogs ringside?
Freddy Whoa: They're already bunned too.
Logan signals for another and gets it. He looks over to Marc Mayhem, throws him a hotdog, and Marc catches it! Logan raises his hotdog up to Marc's, and Marc toasts hotdogs with Logan. The two take a huge bite at the same time to the roaring pleasure of the audience. Logan signals to ringside officials again, getting a bottle of mustard thrown his way, and another. Logan hands off a bottle of mustard to Marc Mayhem. The two both climb opposite turnbuckles with their respective hotdogs and mustard bottles. Logan and Marc Mayhem munch down their dogs, then raise mustard bottles above their heads and let the mustard go where it may!
Gravedigger: Haha. Wow.
Zach Davis: MUSTARD 3:16! MUSTARD 3:16! OH MAH GAWD!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!
Gravedigger: Jesus. Would you guys calm down?!
Both covered in mustard, Logan and Marc Mayhem climb down from their turnbuckles and hit the middle of the ring raising each others arm in the air.
Zach Davis: What have we just witnessed? A return of Logan, and an alliance with Marc Mayhem?!
Freddy Whoa: Guess we'll find out next week on Slam!
We are staring at a door with the writing ‘Joey Flash, Pound for Pound #1, Resident Psychotherapist, The Doctor is IN!’ as a loud voice is heard from inside.
Joey Flash: Fucking faggot motherfuckers. I cannot believe these fucking pillow biters dared to write in to complain, where do they get off? Fuck me fucking senseless, ahh don’t say that around these queers they might take me literally. FUCK. Fucking making me apologise for Seifer, unfuckingbelievable, I’m in my right mind to grab the nearest person I see and stab them to death. Fuck.
The cameraman knocks at the door. The voice goes quiet, before creeping open and we see Joey Flash, a sheepish smile on his face.
Joey Flash: Oh, hello. Been there long?
Cameraman: What’s a pillow biter?
Joey Flash: Oh, ahh. Haha…
Joey bows his head and looks solemnly at the camera.
Joey Flash: I apologise.
The house lights die. The sound of crows cawing echoes throughout the arena, red spotlights dancing across the screaming faces of those in attendance as the ear splitting sound reaches a crescendo.
“A murder of crows is gathering, the fields are ripe to reap. The days of sin, follow the wind, with promises to keep.”
“And in those fateful hours, when my dawn shall duly rise. The Scarecrow shall guard them, from the devils lies"
“Men of straw they cower, fall and fear the flame. Yet I am the one, who embraces the sun. Let darkness know my name.”
The crowd breaks into cheers, acquiescing to their hero's request: SCARECROW! SCARECROW! SCARECROW!
A moment passes, then “Red Right Hand”, by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds begins to play. As the ominous chords sing, a red spotlight appears on the stage beneath a jumbotron of strange occult symbology; Snakes slithering across the sand, a Joshua Tree bursts into flame, Wicker Men are set on fire by hooded occultists. The Scarecrow emerges from behind the gorilla curtain, his massive form cutting a dark, hulking silhouette, eclipsed by red smoke and light.
Zach Davis: After the emotional scenes earlier on tonight, once again you have to wonder, has Oblivion’s mind games broken down the Crow?
Gravedigger: If he’s smart, he’ll listen to Chelsea. I gotta admit; I never saw that coming.
Zach Davis: When your back’s against the wall, you have to choose a side. Chelsea’s the Queen of Kings, Graves. A master strategist in her own right. Could this be the hour of the Murder Machine?
Gravedigger: Let’s just see how the corndog handles himself.
Still masked in shadow, Scarecrow adjusts his right taped hand and steps forward, only now gaining detail and depth as he slowly begins his procession down the ramp. He's wearing a black combat jacket over his fight gear.
Kyle Steel: Standing at six foot six! Weighing in at two hundred and fifty eight pounds! From The Bowery, New York! He is DAHHH MURDAHHH MACHINNNE, DAHHH SCAREEE-CROWWW!!!
The spotlight above follows Scarecrow at a measured pace, his tall frame navigating around the squared circle.
The Scarecrow soaks up the cheers from the crowd before sliding inside the ring, adjusting his taped right hand once again as a way of foreshadowing his finishing maneuver. Scarecrow removes his jacket and hands it to Kyle Steel. With a casual arrogance, Crow slumps up against a post and waves his opponent on, arms draped over the ropes in a crucifix pose, a demeanor of nonchalance tinged with cold menace.
The house lights dim, and the intro to Lynnyrd Skynnyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" hits the speakers. Hushed anticipation falls over the crowd as a spotlight illuminates the stage. Johnny Reb steps out from behind the curtain. A mixed reaction for this changed, once beloved hero.
Zach Davis: Johnny Reb ain’t the son of the south he used to be.
Gravedigger: Yeah, now he’s more honest.
As Reb walks down the ramp, a cascade of sparks rains down on the stage. The Inveterate Confederate circles the ring, flipping off a nest of angry ringside.
Scarecrow uses the distraction; before the bell can even ring, Crow runs at a blistering pace and hits a pitch perfect Tope Suicida that catches Reb right in the sternum! Both cannon back into the barrier behind them, which gives way under the assault!
Freddy Whoa: Whoa!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
A few moments pass as the competitors find their bearings.
Scarecrow is up first, holds Reb down and unleashes a series of brutal mounted punches. Punch after punch rattles the skull of Johnny.
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! Has this match even begun?
Zach Davis: Not until the both competitors are in the ring. Reb is at Scarecrow’s mercy!
Gravedigger: Now that, is how a king thinks.
Scarecrow gets up and spies a steel chair. WHACK! Chair shot to the skull of Johnny Reb!
Zach Davis: Moser can’t DQ a match that hasn’t officially begun!
Reb is bleeding out from a nasty gash across his temple. Crow rolls Reb into the ring, and NOW the match officially starts.
Reb scurries to a ring post and calls for a time out. Moser blanks him as Scarecrow flips Reb off and cannons forward, delivering a devastating Running Seated Corner Dropkick!
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! That nearly took Reb’s head clean off!
Gravedigger: Reb is busted wide open!
Zach Davis: Zero offense from Reb so far, the power and speed of Scarecrow has completely dominated this match!
Eye poke from Reb as he scurries away, Scarecrow clears his vision quickly and has a hand full Reb’s tights, lifts him up by them, connects with a series of brutal KENTA style kick/punch combinations!
Reb is reeling, rope-a-dopes, keeping his hands raised as Scarecrow just goes to work, more punches and kicks, this is a total demolition job.
Gravedigger: Here’s irony, Johnny Reb is now officially Apollo Creed from Rocky IV!
Freddy Whoa: How’s that irony?
School Boy roll up by Reb!
Kick out, Scarecrow is up and charging; hits a Fameasser! Follows it up with a Guillotine leg drop!
Kick out. Scarecrow looks pissed, grabs a handful of Reb’s hair and lifts him up for a double underhook maneuver. Reb with a LOW BLOW!
Gravedigger: Right in the hay bales!
Scarecrow winces as Reb follows it up with a Facebreaker DDT!
Zach Davis: Tide maybe shifting here.
Gravedigger: Veteran move there.
Reb goes to work on Scarecrow, hits a Snapmare into a Dragon Sleeper!
Zach Davis: Sweet Water Sleeper!
Scarecrow reaches out, and eye rakes Reb! A blinded Reb breaks the hold! Scurrying backwards!
Zach Davis: Turnabout’s fair play!
Scarecrow to his feet, charges forward for a clothesline, Reb counters with a Tilt-A-Whirl Armbar, follows that up with a modified abdominal stretch with an arm clutch locked in!
Zach Davis: Modified Stars and Bars!
Gravedigger: Reb’s fighting for his life here, if he doesn’t damage that arm, it’s gonna lift him up, and snap his spine!
Zach Davis: Reb’s trying to decompress the air from Scarecrow’s lungs!
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! Wait, what’s this?
Scarecrow lowers his centre of gravity, goes into an amateur Wrestling roll and slips out of the move! Reb screams in frustration.
Scarecrow charging with a Yakuza Kick, side stepped by Reb, who goes for a hurricanrana, countered into a running powerbomb!
Kick out by Reb! Johnny staggers to his feet. As does Scarecrow. Double Axehandle on Crow, Reb points at the turnbuckle. Mixed reaction as he ascends.
Zach Davis: He’s calling for a Confederate Cannonball!
Gravedigger: Could be the end right here!
Johnny Reb leaps from the turnbuckle, diving onto a prone Scarecrow. A perfect, patented frog splash as:
Zach Davis: MURDER OF CROWS!!! MURDER OF CROWS OUTTA NOWHERE!!
Scarecrow was playing possum, he hits the cutter, catches Reb clean in mid air and goes for the cover!
LIGHTS GO OUT!!!
The arena is plunged into darkness as Oblivion runs down to the stage. Moser begins the count again.
THREE! Scarecrow with the pin!
Crowd: SCARECROW! SCARECROW! SCARECROW! SCARECROW!
Oblivion charges the ring, Scarecrow ducks, Oblivion runs the ropes, rebounds back into a gut kick by Crow! Crow goes to lock in the Crowbreaker! Reb catches Scarecrow across the back with a wicked chair shot!
The shot reverberates across the area as Crow staggers, Reb and Oblivion exit the ring and hightail it back up the ramp, snarling with pure rage! Reb wipes a torrent of blood from his eyes as Scarecrow shakes off the chair assault and flips off Reb!
Crowd: SCARECROW! SCARECROW! SCARECROW! SCARECROW!
“Red Right Hand” plays over the speaks as Scarecrow climbs a turnbuckle and rises his arms in victory!
The lights shine at their very brightest and Scarecrow's music fades. The titantron flashes on and we see Occulo sat ON TOP of the titantron. He has a microphone in his hand and his legs are dangling over the edge.
Occulo: Hey Johnny, I’d have thought you of all people should know not to assume things. You assumed your estranged family would take you back and you were wrong. You then assumed I’d let you get away with screwing me over. Well…
The lights shut off and about ten seconds later Occulo is stood eye to eye with Johnny Reb with a cable in his hand. He elbows Reb in the throat and wraps the cable around Reb’s throat. He then puts him in The Epitome lock and pulls until Reb gasps and splutters his way to unconsciousness. Occulo releases him and throws the cable into the crowd. He asks for a microphone and speaks:
Occulo: :Looks like you were wrong about that too. Reb, as you lie there asleep, I want you to enjoy this peace. It is terminal and is going to die a death. The shameful thing is that you share the blame for it. Your partner in crime is up next. He’ll be with you soon. Until then…
...Lights out Johnny
Occulo bounces off the ropes and lands a Subliminal Message as the lights shut off. Ten seconds later they come on again revealing Johnny Reb alone in the ring.
Zach Davis: We are coming up to the WCF Television Match!!
Freddy Whoa: This week alone, there has been a war of words between the two competitors.
Gravedigger: The Monster Oblivion is a former 2 time Television Champion.
Zach Davis: These two talented competitors don't receive much love from the fans.
Gravedigger: But, there are those who have been an Oblivion supporters, for years.
Freddy Whoa: Kyle Steel is already in the ring.
Kyle Steel: The following is match is for the WCF Television Chaaaaampionshiiiiip....
The house lights go out, as lighter colored lights come on. The multiple cameras pan around a jam packed arena. The fans are holding up various signs. The atmosphere is explosive and some of the crowd is cheering. While, the rest, of the crowd are booing. "Breathe" by Prodigy begins to play. The bass like synth begin to blare out. 14 seconds later the drums come through...
BREATHE WITH ME!!
Kyle Steel: Weighing in at 305 pounds, from the deepest, darkest part of a sick man's psyche...... The challenger... O-O-O-OBLI-I-IVI-I-I-I-O-O-O-O-NN-N-NN-N!!!
The house lights go out. The crowd begins to murmur. Strobe lights begin to flash, as bright white lasers begin to flash. Two bright spotlights hit the entrance stage. The music continues to thump. Some of the fans are thrashing and/or dancing a long with the music. Zach Davis proceed to stand up and begin to dance. Gravedigger just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.
Zach Davis jumps up a mile high, before bolting down under the commentary table. Freddy Whoa laughs is ass off.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!!
Gravedigger: DAVIS!! GET YOUR ASS OFF THE GROUND!! BE A MAN!!
Explosive fire pyro shoots straight up, on the stage and down the ramp. Then right about that time, Oblivion slowly slinks out. The music continues the blare out and rattled the arena.
Breathe the pressure
The cameraman gets real close, as Oblivion sneers at the camera. The Monster thrusts out IT's massive right arm, pushing the cameraman several feet away.
Gravedigger: YES!! THAT'S THE OBLIVION WE NEED TO SEE IN THIS MATCH!!
The Monster slowly comes down to the ring. Strobe lights continue to flash. Then the arena slightly shakes, as the sound of thunder rumbles and mock lightning flashes. The majority, of the crowd, jump.
Come play my game
The music continues to thump out of the PNC Arena's speakers, as the addictive rhythm has the entire crowd in a trance and continues to dance along with the music. Zach Davis peeks his head, quickly stands up and proceeds to dance once again. Lightning strikes the four corners, of the ring. The loud sounds makes everyone jump out of their seats, once again. Zach Davis grabs his chest.
Zach Davis: DAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!
Gravedigger: HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!!
Some, of the people are scared out of their minds. The lights flicker then... POP!! The strobe lights go out!!
The house lights come on, then standing in the center of the ring, is Oblivion. Half the crowd is cheering, while the other half of the crowd is booing. The music fades out. A screeching sound echoes throughout the arena, as four lightning bolts strike each corner.
Gravedigger: Joey Flash is gonna have his hands full, in this match, against The Monster!!
Zach Davis: Now, all we need now, is the champion!
The arena lights dim.... The crowd buzz begins to build up to a fever pitch. Mile Zero by Periphery begins and lingers for a moment before Joey Flash in all his glory emerges from behind the curtain staring at the crowd. He floats regally down the aisle bathing in the atmosphere and stopping to shake the hand of anyone who desires it.
Kyle Steel: Coming down to the ring.... Hailing from The Bronx, New York.... Weighing in at 220 pounds. He is the current WCF Television Champion.... JOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEYYY FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!
Flash circles the ring not once, but twice. Delaying his entrance and the match even further riling the crowd and Oblivion, before sliding into the ring and sitting down in one of the ring corners staring at his future foe with both apathy and disgust. Oblivion squats down with IT's forearms resting on IT's thighs. The Monster stares, then proceeds to flips off the TV Champion, before spatting at Joey Flash.
Zach Davis: The Monster is already playing mind games against the champion.
Both the champion and the challenger circle the ring. Both wrestlers charge at one another...
Freddy Whoa: the champion ducks out of the way of The Monster.
Joey Flash smiles, as he points to his head.
Gravedigger: It's now that Joey Flash is playing the mind games.
Oblivion and Joey Flash charge one another...
Zach Davis: A quick jab by Joey Flash!
Gravedigger: Notice how Flash snapped his wrist as he pops Oblivion on the mouth?
Oblivion touches IT's mouth, as IT smiles while IT walks around, keeping an eye on the champion. The Monster charges at Flash, grabbing him.
Zach Davis: Oblivion will use his size difference to push Joey Flash around.
The God of Insanity grabs the champion and proceeds to push him into the corner....
Freddy Whoa: Nothing but turnbuckle, as Joey Flash moves out of the way, from that quick and massive arm crashing down towards him.
Flash moves out of the way, very quickly the champion proceeds to snap a few jabs into the partially masked face of Oblivion.
Gravedigger: A shot to the body of Oblivion.
Zach Davis: Joey Flash is showing off his boxing skills.
Flash takes a shot at Oblivion.
Freddy Whoa: BLOCKED!!!
The Monster grabs the right wrist of the champion with IT's own left hand.
Gravedigger: SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE!!
Zach Davis: That clothesline has Joey Flash down to the mat.
Oblivion grabs the top ring rope....
STOMP!! STOMP!! STOMP!! STOMP!!
Freddy Whoa: Oblivion is stomping the holy Hell of the Television Champion!!
Oblivion picks up Flash and tosses him into the ropes....
Oblivion bounces of the ropes...
Gravedigger: Joey Flash dropkicks the knees from under The Monster, who falls down, to the mat.
Oblivion is on his knees.
Freddy Whoa: DDT ON THE MONSTER!! The champion is going for the pin!!
Stanley Moser slides into position...
Crowd: THREE.... NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Zach Davis: This match has been, so far all Joey Flash!!
Flash backs away as The Monster stands up. The champion quickly runs over and grabs the challenger around the waist and tries to pick up Oblivion.
Freddy Whoa: NO WAY!!
Oblivion slams both fists on the back of IT's opponent.
Gravedigger: BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!
Oblivion roars out!!
Zach Davis: The Monster is quickly going for a pin.
The referee slides in...
Crowd: ON-.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Oblivion picks up Joey Flash...
Freddy Whoa: A swift kick to the left knee of Oblivion.
Freddy Whoa: Another swift kick, this time it's on the right knee of The God of Insanity!!
Flash pushes Oblivion into the ropes.
Gravedigger: The Monster bounces off the ropes....
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!!
Zach Davis: Joey Flash catches everyone off guard with an out of nowhere 3/4 belly to belly suplex.
Flash drags the body of The Monster over to the ropes. The Television champion drapes the neck of Oblivion over the bottom ring rope. The champion takes his left leg and place it over the back of Oblivion's neck. Flash takes his right left and place it quickly under the bottom ring rope and under the neck of The Monster.
Gravedigger: This is very smart on the champion utilize the ropes. Joey Flash just attached a modified leg scissors around the bottom rope drape neck of the challenger!!
Flash grabs both arms and under hooking them. Pulling back on the arms, while pressing down on the neck as the neck of Oblivion is being strained and pressed against the steel cabled ring rope. Stanley Moser gets involved...
Stanley Moser: THAT'S IT FLASH!! LET GO OF THE CHOKE!! ONE..... TWO....
Joey Flash: NOO!!
Stanley Moser: THREE.... FOUR....
Joey Flash: NOOOOOOOOO!!
Joey Flash ends up letting go of the choke. Oblivion ends up exiting the ring, from under the bottom ring rope.
Zach Davis: Joey Flash goes right after Oblivion.
Gravedigger: Oblivion gets clipped from behind, but doesn't seem to fall.
Flash nails Oblivion on BOTH legs with swift kicks.
Oblivion quickly turns around...
Oblivion gives the Television a look that kills.
Freddy Whoa: Oblivion is pouring it on with massive punches!!
The Monster steps back, but charges very quickly....
Zach Davis: RUNNING KNEELIFT!!
Joey Flash stumbles backwards, even drops to one knee.
Gravedigger: Oblivion steps back and charges once again.
Freddy Whoa: FOOTBALL TACKLE!!
Zach Davis: The champion is down from that football tackle!!
The God of Insanity takes a few steps back, before running towards a lying prone Joey Flash...
Zach Davis: A RUNNING FLYING HEADBUTT!!
Gravedigger: I'M LOVING THIS MATCH!! FULL OF ACTION!!
Oblivion grabs the champion....
Freddy Whoa: FUJIWARA ARMBAR!!
Zach Davis: They are on the outside of the ring!! There cannot be a submission, on the outside of the ring.
Gravedigger: Now, all Joey Flash has to do is THAT INSIDE the ring!!!
Freddy Whoa: GOOD LUCK!!
Flash let's go, of the armbar....
WHAM... WHAM.... WHAM... WHAM!!!
Zach Davis: The champion is stomping down on the arm of the challenger.
Flash picks up the challenger...
Gravedigger: Oblivion just thrusted his fingers into the throat of the champion.
The Monster grabs Oblivion and throws him into the direction of the ringsteps....
Freddy Whoa: The champion reverses the Irish whip and tosses Oblivion...
Freddy Whoa: ...right into the steel ringsteps.
Before Oblivion can get his bearings straight....
Flash stomps a boot into the mid-section of his challenger...
Freddy Whoa: WHOOOOOOOOOAAAA!!!
Zach Davis: Joey Flash nails Oblivion with a butterfly underhook ddt into the top of those damn ringsteps!!
While grabbing IT's own head, Oblivion stumbles out....
Joey Flash pops Oblivion in the gut. While buckled over, Flash quickly runs up....
Gravedigger: SWINGING NECKBREAKER!! Oblivion is down!!
The champion runs over to the ring steps and climbs up on them, standing on top of them....
Oblivion begins to stir around, slowly begins to stand up.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!!! IT'S CHECK OUT TIME!!
Zach Davis: SUPERKICK!!
The champion falls backwards....
....right into the ringsteps. Oblivion slowly walks over.
Gravedigger: Both men have given their all in this match and by the way they have been walking, it shows.
Oblivion grabs and picks up Joey Flash....
Freddy Whoa: GUTWRENCH PICKUP!!!
Joey Flash: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Gravedigger: YES!! FALLING DOCTOR RIGHT ON THE RING STEPS!!
Zach Davis: GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB!!
Flash's body crashes down hard against the ringsteps and falls off the steps and lands in between the steps and the ringside barrier. Flash lands hard on the ringside mats, but is rolling around, trying to stand up, by using the steel ringside barriers.
Freddy Whoa: Oblivion bolts over to the ringsteps....
Oblivion jumps on the ringsteps and quickly flies off.... AT THE SAME TIME JOEY FLASH STANDS UP....
Gravedigger: this match is completely off the hook!!
Crowd: THIS MATCH IS AWESOME!! THIS MATCH IS AWESOME! THIS MATCH IS AWESOME!!
Zach Davis: As Oblivion came flying down.... The Television Champion nearly kicked the head off of The Monster with a superkick!!
Oblivion stumbles around, as Flash comes around and...
Freddy Whoa: BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!!
Both competitors come crashing down onto the ringside mats.
Crowd: THIS MATCH IS AWESOME!! <clap-clap> <clap-clap-clap> THIS MATCH IS AWESOME! <clap-clap> <clap-clap-clap> THIS MATCH IS AWESOME!! <clap-clap> <clap-clap-clap>
Both wrestlers are down and barely moving. Both competitors get to their feet...
WHAM-WHAM!! WHAM-WHAM!! WHAM-WHAM!! WHAM-WHAM!!
Gravedigger: This crowd is going absolutely crazy, as these two are STILL fighting, even on their knees.
Oblivion stands and then Joey Flash stands up. Flash grabs The Monster and whips him into the steel ring barrier corner...
Joey Flash: UGH!!
Zach Davis: The TV Champion lands hard against that steel ring barrier
Freddy Whoa: There goes Oblivion bolting towards Joey Flash!!
Gravedigger: CORNER SPLASH!!
With no give from the steel barrier, Flash just crumbles down, sitting down, leaning against the ringside barrier. Oblivion backs up several feet.
Zach Davis: NO!!! MY GOD, NOOOOOO!!
Oblivion charges at a seated Joey Flash.
Freddy Whoa: OH GOD, THIS IS GONNA COMPLETELY ANNIHILATE JOEY FLASH!!
Joey Flash moves out of the way. But, Oblivion grabs a hold of the champion.
Gravedigger: This looks promising....
Joey Flash: AHHHHHHH!!!
Zach Davis: SHOULDER BREAKER!!!
Oblivion grabs IT's opponent...
Flash proceeds, even in complete agonizing pain, pop a few kicks off against the lower body of The Monster.
Freddy Whoa: A wild swing from Oblivion...
POP!! WHAM-WHAM!! POP!! WHAM-WHAM!!
Joey Flash is now boxing with The Monster, nailing Oblivion with a right jab then a quick left upper cut then into a right cross.
Gravedigger: Oblivion is reeling.
The champion nails his opponent with a left cross, then quickly into a right uppercut then a left uppercut. The Monster stumbles backwards, almost falling down to one knee.
Zach Davis: The champion runs up on the challenger....
Freddy Whoa: A SPINNING ROUND HOUSE KICK!!
Flash grabs Oblivion in an inverted position and without wasting any time....
Gravedigger: INVERTED DDT!!!
The champion runs up to the challenger.
Zach Davis: It looks like Joey Flash has hooked Oblivion's massive left arm with his left leg and trapped Oblivion right arm with his right leg.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!! It looks as if Joey Flash has wrapped his own right arm over the neck and throat of The Monster and drapes it around, grabbing with his left hand and pulling back.
Oblivion: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! UGH!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Gravedigger: Stanley Moser cannot do anything about it, cannot submit on the outside of the ring.
Joey Flash: SCREAM MONSTER!! SCREEEEEEAAAAAMMMMM!!!
Zach Davis: Oblivion is using IT's own knee to strike at Joey Flash!!
The multiple knee shots causes Joey Flash to let go of the hold.
Freddy Whoa: Oblivion is slowly getting up and grabs the Television Champion....
Oblivion presses Flash over IT's own head, holding him up there for....
Crowd: ONE.... TWO.... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SI....
Gravedigger: Oblivion drop Joey Flash right into a backbreaker!!
Joey Flash: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!! DAMN IT!!
Oblivion picks up Flash and quickly....
Freddy Whoa: MUSCLEBUSTER!!
Oblivion grabs the champion and rolls him back in the ring. Due to the damage already taken, The Monster moves slowly. Inside the ring, Joey Flash slowly moves around, groaning in pain.
Oblivion slides into the ring.
Zach Davis: Although in pain, the Television Champion Joey Flash is waiting on The Monster Oblivion....
Gravedigger: SUDDEN FLASH!!
Freddy Whoa: A beautifully timed right cross!!
Zach Davis: Oblivion's eyes cross and IT stumbles around, off balanced!!
Joey Flash stalks Oblivion, measuring IT up, as Flash creeps around The Monster. The crowd murmurs as they anticipate the WCF Television Champion's next move....
Gravedigger: LIGHTNING BOLT!! GERMAN SUPLEX!!
Zach Davis: The champion makes the pin cover....
Kyle Steel: THE WINNER OF THE MATCH AND STIIIIIIIIILL WCF TELEVISION CHAMPION.... JOOOOOEEEYYY FLAAAAAASH!!!
Zach Davis: That match could of gone either way!!
Freddy Whoa: Yes, exactly. Both competitors put in an excellent outing!!
Gravedigger: THAT MATCH KICKED ASS!! JOEY FLASH CAME OUT ON TOP, THAT TIME!!
The lights shine at their very brightest and the winner’s music fades. The titantron flashes on and we see Occulo stood somewhere amongst the crowd. He has a microphone in his hand and is slowly walking towards the ring.
Occulo: Oblivion welcome to your role as the second domino for me to knock down. As I said earlier, I hate people who take things for granted. Not a bad little performance there against Joey. Clap clap. Okay, I lied. It was actually terrible, and things are now going to get a hell of a lot worse for you.
The lights shut off. Ten seconds later we see Occulo in the ring eye to eye with Oblivion with a crowbar in his hand. He delivers an elbow to his throat and then cracks the bar across the back of Oblivion’s head. He carries on thwacking Oblivion, this time attacking his ribs. He raises the bar and then bounces of the ropes before finishing him off with a Subliminal Message knee to the head. He calls for a microphone and speaks.
Occulo: You knew this was coming Oblivion. Later than you should have done though. As soon as you finished your attack on Scarecrow and Speede you should have been looking over your shoulder. Wondering when you uppance would come. Well this is only the beginning my friend. Consider this the moment when this federation got turned upside down, and those hidden and overshadowed by the pedestal you all stand upon hacked it down and feasted on the remains. Don’t worry, you’re not alone, Johnny Reb is with you in the land of the beaten.
Lights out Oblivion!
He delivers one final slam of the crowbar on Oblivion as the lights shut off. Ten seconds later Oblivion is the only one seen in the ring.
Scarecrow is in his dressing room. His head is bowed, thinking, rebinding his hands with tape as a way of focusing his energies. The camera is tight on his head and shoulders. Off screen we hear a Voice, female. Elegant and determined.
Voice: Crow, what happened to that woman. That wasn’t your fault. That’s how Oblivion operates, IT worms IT’s way into your mind and coils around your soul. You have to blank that. Look past it. Focus on nothing but the match. Make Johnny Reb pay for his partners mind games. Pay in blood. Remember what I told you, about how to use the pain, let it give you focus.
Scarecrow looks up, he’s finished binding his hands. Smiles. Bad intentions running through his mind.
Scarecrow: Johnny Reb? Get ready. The clocks are about...to...stop.
Scarecrow motions past the camera as he opens a door to leave. The camera angle widens, encapsulating the rest of the dressing room. For the first time we see the woman; standing there, behind Scarecrow is...
Zach Davis: HOLY SHIT-BALLS! IT’S CHELSEA ARMSTRONG!
Gravedigger: Well, that’s conflicting.
Chelsea smiles, as the scene fades to black.
Kyle Steel: The following TAG TEAM match is scheduled for one fall...
The lights in the arena turn slightly brown as “Tip The Scales” by Rise Against starts blasting from the arena speakers. The WCFTron starts displaying static, while the crowd murmurs excitedly, eager to see the debut of a new WCF wrestler. The lights start flickering before all of a sudden, their brightness level goes up to a million, illuminating the entire arena with a very vivid mahogany colour and temporarily stunning some of the fans in the stands, eliciting even more screams in the process.
At the exact same time when the vocals kick in, the stage effects burst into effect. A huge ‘W’ explodes from the stage in the form of pyrotechnics, much to the pleasure of the fans. The fireworks fade, but the imprint of the W stays in the air for several long seconds. Simultaneously, the WCFTron stops showing static, and instead starts displaying a montage of Warpath’s training in the gym as well as a few match highlights he had put up during his time at WCF’s development federation.
A loud cheer goes out from the crowd as Warpath steps out from the back, dressed in his ring attire. He stops for a moment at the top of the ramp, before running down the ramp at top speed, bursting through the smoke imprint and sprinting down the ramp.
Kyle Steel: Making his way to the ring, from Portland, Oregon, weighing in at 217 pounds… WARPATH!
He slows down as he nears the steps, taking the opportunity to slap the hands of a few hands located near him. He pulls off his hoody and throws it to the crowd, who are already more than happy to grab this new superstar’s memorabilia. After continuing his crowd interactions for a few more seconds, Warpath rolls into the ring, before walking to the centre of the ring, more than ready to start the match. The lights then return to normal.
The lights in the house go dim as laser lights begin to swirl around the entry way, and from behind the curtain leaps Caleb Collins, who drops down to a knee on the stage as the fans give him a positive ovation! Collins has his hands folded and his eyes closed, mouthing a prayer to himself before punching the stage as his theme reaches the point where the vocalist begins screaming "FEARLESS!" from there, Collins is leaping up again, this time thrusting his fist into the air as he makes his way down the entry way.
Kyle Steel: And his partner, from Columbus, Ohio... weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds... CALEB COLLINS!
Collins rushes to the ring, leaping and sliding feet first under the ropes and slipping under them, running to the turnbuckles and raising his fist to the crowd as he looks out from under his hooded entrance wear. Collins flips the hood backwards and off of his head, smiling to the crowd before doing a back flip off of the buckles and landing on his feet. Collins leaps in circles a couple of times with his fist raised, smiling to the crowd before backing into his corner and proceeding to remove his sleeveless hooded vest as he prepares for the upcoming match up.
Freddy Whoa: These guys are just two of the latest batch of WCF newcomers. I gotta say, that's one of the things I love about this company. There's always new blood coming in.
Gravedigger: Most of them aren't worth a crap. Warpath came up through PSWF, though, and apparently he impressed somebody enough to get called up to the main roster. It wasn't me, I can tell you that.
Kyle Steel: And their opponents...
"Slay IT" by Cryptex begins instantly at the 43 second mark. 'SLAY IT', and then the beat drops. "Dan" fades onto the screen above stage and holds for three seconds, followed by a crossfade into "Van" for another three, and then "Slade" ends it with a final three second hold. The beautifully orchestrated theme by Cryptex engulfs the arena and at about twelve seconds into the vanity appears "Devious" Dan Van Slade who whips the curtain behind him and hurries to the stage. The superstar stops at the edge of the ramp and initiates the SUPER DEVIANT super pose as he is introduced by the ring announcer.
Kyle Steel: Ladies and gentlemen - heading to the ring and weighing in at 251 pounds...he is from MISSOULA...
Steel stops for a brief moment and notices a strike through Missoula, Montana, on his card. He corrects himself.
Van Slade holds his pose; shirtless in bright red trunks on light blue tights with red leather boots laced to the lower knee and blue elbow pads.
Kyle Steel: ...The hippest planet in the souler system - PLANET HIPTON...
The Super Deviant ends his pose and points to his left, and then to the right; he lifts his head and closes his eyes. Pyrotechnics are showcased behind him with a row of flames shooting from the stage floor, and a shower of bright sparks pouring from the rafters above.
Kyle Steel: ...THE SUPER DEVIANT...DEVIOUS...DAN...VAN...SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!
The pompous introduction comes to a halt, but the epic theme continues as Van Slade arrogantly treks down the ramp with his sights set on the wrestling ring. The devious performer talks with himself while shouting crude remarks toward the crowd. He stops mid-way and then jets toward the ring. He slides underneath the bottom rope until he anchors himself into the center of the squared-circle. He slowly moves to his feet and stares into the crowd with determined eyes and a sadistic grin. His battle tune fades.
Gravedigger: DVS is my kind of guy. He's going places in this company-- I'm really looking forward to his impending clash with Steve Orbit for the Hardcore title. That's going to be top notch.
The subtle guitar screeches and ominous bass drum beats of "Raining Blood" by Slayer flood the arena, hushing the crowd as the arena lights dim. The drums beat, and fiery-orange uplights flash up to the beat. The anticipation builds as the seconds pass. Then, the hard thrash guitar roars to life as a renewed gout of fiery orange orange spotlights flare around the stadium, spinning not unlike warning lights.
Just as all this is happening Maelstrom appears, wearing a dark metallic chrome mantle with flame pipes and spikes rising from his shoulders. He marches to the ring with purpose, hands out to brush the outstretched fingers of the fans on both sides.
Kyle Steel: And his partner... from Buffalo, New York... weighing in at three hundred pounds... "The Human Hellstorm"... MAELSTROM!
He stops short of the ring and turns to the crowd, pausing a moment. Then he rears back and roars to the heavens as twin ten-foot jets of fiery blood-red sparks erupt from his shoulders. The crowd roars back with deafening approval in return.
Having discarded his entrance attire he climbs to the second rope. Facing out to the crowd, he first points to the nosebleed seats, and then bowing his head, thumps his fist over his heart in salute to the fans and the arena.
Zach Davis: Maelstrom has been very impressive since his debut. His partner tonight was his opponent at last week's Slam, and although DVS won the match, they just about tore the house down.
Gravedigger: He's alright, but from where I'm sitting, Dan Van Slade is the star of this match.
The two teams strategize in their respective corners. The ref is about to ring the bell, when--
"I CAN'T STOP-OP-OP-OP-OP-OP-OP..."
"Who Gon Stop Me" by Watch the Throne hits the PA and "The Mack" Steve Orbit makes his way towards the ring, dressed in a long mink and his typical pimp attire. He has the Hardcore belt draped over his shoulder.
Freddy Whoa: What's Orbit doing out here?
Zach Davis: Well... he's heading this way.
Gravedigger stands to shake Orbit's hand. They have a quick conversation off mic, and then Orbit takes a seat at the announce table.
Gravedigger: Hey Zach, I'm gonna need to borrow this--
Zach Davis: Hey!
We hear the sound of Gravedigger ripping the headset off of Zach Davis' head. He hands it to Orbit.
Steve Orbit: What's up, y'all?
Maelstrom and Warpath stay in the ring to start the match. The ref is about to call for the bell AGAIN, when--
"Master of Puppets" hits!
Steve Orbit: No, Seth. I ain't workin' tonight, don't even think about it.
Seth stands at the top of the ramp with a mic.
Seth Lerch: Hey everybody! Orbit, I'm glad you're out here, you'll want to hear this. As you all know, Dan Van Slade won a Torneo Cibernetico on Wednesday Night a while back, and he earned a Hardcore Title shot. And he'll get that shot... the 25th of this month, at Payback!
The crowd pops. DVS is clearly excited on the apron.
Seth Lerch: BUT! But, this is "THE MACK" STEVE ORBIT we're talking about. Former two-time World Champion. The guy just beat Jonny Fly in his retirement match. Now, no offense, Van Slade, but... well, I don't want Orbit to end your career as well. You're a new guy, I'd still have to pay out your contract, yada yada. So here's the deal-- if you and Maelstrom LOSE tonight, you're gonna have to split that Hardcore title shot with Maelstrom.
Mixed reaction from the crowd.
Steve Orbit: What?! Come on, Seth. What about me? What about what I want?
Gravedigger: What does he mean, split the title shot?
Seth Lerch: Just to be clear-- what I'm saying is, if your team loses tonight, the Hardcore Title match at Payback becomes a triple threat-- Steve Orbit, versus DVS versus Maelstrom! Good luck, guys!
Seth laughs to himself and leaves.
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! Kind of a weird stipulation, but alright!
Steve Orbit: Fuck it, I'll beat both of 'em. Let's make it a handicap. Actually, let the other team join in too. I'll beat all those punks, I am the HARD CORE CHAMP.
Gravedigger: Hell yeah you would. I'd love to see that.
Maelstrom and DVS eye each other... and the ref finally calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
Warpath and Maelstrom meet in the center of the ring and tie up. Maelstrom backs Warpath into the corner and hits him with a headbutt... followed by another. They tie up again... Maelstrom puts Warpath in a front facelock, but he slips out and goes behind him with a hammerlock. Maelstrom powers out and turns around with a right hand, but Warpath ducks it and shoves Maelstrom into the corner face first. Warpath spins him around and hits him with a series of backhand chops, before hooking him for a hip toss out of the corner.
Freddy Whoa: Warpath is a mysterious guy.
Gravedigger: Oh yeah, a dude in a mask. Nobody's ever done THAT before.
Maelstrom rolls to his feet but Warpath nails him with a flying forearm smash! Maelstrom maintains his footing but Warpath kicks him in the gut and spikes his head with a DDT. Warpath covers him.
Freddy Whoa: Maelstrom powers out at one.
Warpath gets to his feet first. Maelstrom is up but Warpath whips him to the ropes, setting up for a back body drop on the return-- but Maelstrom counters with a big boot to Warpath's head. Warpath drops but bounces up quickly, only to receive a shoulder tackle from Maelstrom, dropping him again. Warpath gets up a bit slower this time... Maelstrom picks him up in a Gorilla press!
Steve Orbit: That's a bad place to be right there.
Freddy Whoa: Maelstrom showing off his power and... drops him neck first on the top rope!
Warpath rolls on the mat, holding his neck. Maelstrom grabs him and walks him over to his corner, tagging in DVS. DVS comes in and hits Warpath with a few shots to the ribs before Maelstrom lets go and exits to the apron.
Freddy Whoa: Teamwork by Maelstrom and Van Slade?
Gravedigger: It's in Van Slade's favor to win the match... but in reality, it's in Maelstrom's favor to LOSE the match. They lose, he gets thrown into the Hardcore title match. They win... he's gonna have to find something else to do at Payback, and DVS gets Orbit one-on-one.
Steve Orbit: How does Seth come up with this shit?
DVS quickly slips behind Warpath with a waistlock-- and executes a German suplex, bridging for the pin.
Freddy Whoa: No, Warpath rolls out of the pin!
warpath looks towards his corner. Caleb Collins is jumping up and down, looking for a tag. Warpath starts to head in that direction but DVS takes him down once again with a double-leg takedown. Warpath rolls onto his back but DVS mounts him and hits punches to the head. Warpath does his best to shield the blows. DVS gets up but quickly drops a knee. DVS pins Warpath again.
Freddy Whoa: Warpath kicks out at two!
Gravedigger: Yeah, but he's been getting worked over for a few minutes now. If he can't make a tag, I don't know how much longer he's gonna be able to hang.
DVS grabs Warpath and sets him up in a vertical suplex position. He lifts him, and then drops him over the ropes for a slingshot suplex. Rather than cover Warpath, DVS takes a moment to eye Steve Orbit at the announce table.
Freddy Whoa: Van Slade is looking in our direction!
Steve Orbit: Tell that boy to sit down.
Gravedigger: He's going to have all the Steve Orbit he can handle at Payback.
Steve Orbit: He has no idea what he's in for. If he thinks he's gonna do me like he's doin' Warpath right now... he's wrong. Dead wrong, for real.
DVS turns around and stomps at Warpath, taunting him to get back up. DVS pulls him to his feet and whips him to the ropes, catching him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker--
Freddy Whoa: Whoa!
But Warpath slips out of his grasp and lands on his feet!
Gravedigger: God damn!
Before DVS can process what happened, Warpath nails him with a high speed roundhouse kick to the head. DVS drops to the mat, stunned.
Steve Orbit: That was an impressive counter. DVS can't even keep this fool down, how's he gonna handle the Mack?
Warpath dives to his corner to tag in Caleb Collins.
Freddy Whoa: Warpath finally makes the tag and here comes Caleb Collins!
Collins enters the ring as DVS is getting to his feet-- Collins with a jumping knee strike, and DVS goes down once again! Collins pins DVS.
Freddy Whoa: Maelstrom breaks up the pin!
Gravedigger: That shows you where his head is at. He knows he benefits if they lose the match, but he still wants to win. So he's either honorable, or stupid.
Steve Orbit: OR he don't want no part of Steve Orbit.
Gravedigger: Hahaha, that's most likely.
Collins pulls DVS up and brings him into the corner. He begins hitting him with stiff kicks to the ribs and legs, followed by a palm strike. Collins pulls him out of the corner and executes a Saito suplex.
Steve Orbit: What's the deal with this guy?
Gravedigger: I thought he was alright until he started talking about the Bible and God and what have you. That's all we need in WCF, another Bible thumper.
Collins waits for DVS to get back to his feet... and he springboards off the middle rope with a corkscrew knee strike!
Steve Orbit: Damn, I dunno about no Bible thumpin' but that move was pretty righteous.
Collins pins DVS.
Freddy Whoa: Maelstrom again with the save!
Gravedigger: He really doesn't want to be in that Hardcore title match.
This time, Maelstrom grabs Collins and destroys him with a chokeslam. The ref issues a stern warning as he exits to the apron.
Steve Orbit: That's one way to turn a match around.
DVS and Collins both crawl to their corners with their arms extended, looking for the tag. Maelstrom is ready and Warpath is rested up. They both look for the tag...
Gravedigger: DVS tags Maelstrom!
Freddy Whoa: And Collins tags Warpath! Two fresh...er, men!
Maelstrom and Warpath collide in the middle of the ring, throwing punches. Maelstrom quickly gets the upper hand with his size advantage, and he hits Warpath with a series of rough punches, softening him up. He lifts up Warpath over his shoulder and executes a powerslam, into a pin.
Freddy Whoa: No, Warpath kicks out!
Maelstrom goes to pull up Warpath but Warpath punches him in the gut, and then the head. Warpath gets to his feet and drops Maelstrom with a one-handed running bulldog. He stays on Maelstrom with a jumping knee drop, followed by another. Warpath runs to the ropes and comes back with a senton.
Freddy Whoa: Warpath is doing a great job of taking control back in this match.
Gravedigger: Warpath is a bum.
Steve Orbit: Whatever, I'm gettin' bored out here. I got some hoes backstage, and I'm askin' myself right now what the hell did I came out here for.
Warpath puts Maelstrom in a waistlock as he gets to his feet. He goes to lift him for a suplex but Maelstrom shifts his weight and blocks the suplex. Maelstrom hits Warpath with a back elbow and breaks the hold, before spinning around and hitting him with a headbutt... and another... and another!
Gravedigger: The big guy loves the headbutts.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, I don't think Warpath is lovin' 'em right now though.
Maelstrom lifts Warpath in a fireman's carry--
Freddy Whoa: Uh oh, Warpath is in trouble-- whoa!
But he slips out behind Maelstrom and quickly executes a shoulder facebuster!
Freddy Whoa: HOMECOMING! Warpath hits his finisher out of nowhere! Here's the pin!
Steve Orbit: Shit!
Freddy Whoa: Dan Van Slade breaks up the pin! Van Slade doesn't want to share his Hardcore title shot, that's for sure.
Steve Orbit: Yeah? And Maelstrom don't wanna share the beatdown, either.
Collins has seen enough and he runs into the ring-- but DVS intercepts him!
Freddy Whoa: VICIOUS KNEE TO THE FACE BY DVS!
Gravedigger: Yeah, that was vicious. I gotta admit.
Collins stumbles over the top rope. Warpath gets up and--
Freddy Whoa: ANOTHER VICIOUS KNEE TO THE FACE!
DVS drops Warpath before exiting the ring. Maelstrom is still coming to his senses. Both men are down, but Collins is back on the apron looking for a tag. DVS also looking for a tag now.
Steve Orbit: DVS is tryin' to win this match.
Freddy Whoa: Well, Seth DID give him a little extra motivation tonight.
Both men make their respective tags! In comes Warpath and in comes Maelstrom. Maelstrom ducks a Clothesline from Warpath and kicks him....
Zach Davis: HELLSTORM RISING!
Maelstrom hits it! Into a pin!
Steve Orbit: What an idiot. If he'd have lost, he'd have gotten a Hardcore Title shot!
Freddy Whoa: He'll get his shot in due time, Steve, I'm sure. If he keeps up performances like that.
Steve Orbit: Shut up, Freddy. I MADE you!
Freddy Whoa: Huh?
"Master of Puppets" hits again.
Freddy Whoa: What's he doin' back out here?
Gravedigger: Why don't you shut up and listen?
Seth stands at the top of the ramp, holding a mic.
Seth Lerch: Well, well, well. Van Slade and Maelstrom, congratulations. That was a GREAT performance.
Seth with a sarcastic golf clap and a "whoop-dee-doo" finger twirl!
Seth Lerch: As a matter of fact-- that performance was so great, it made me realize that both of you deserve an opportunity.
DVS doesn't look too happy. Maelstrom listens eagerly.
Seth Lerch: ... An opportunity to win the Hardcore Title at Payback! Yeah, I know I said it was only if you lost the match, but... I changed my mind. Or lied. Whatever, the point is, at Payback it will be Steve Orbit defending against Dan Van Slade... AND Maelstrom! Good luck, guys!
Seth laughs all the way through the curtain.
Freddy Whoa: Well, Van Slade doesn't look too happy.
Gravedigger: He shouldn't be! He won a huge Torneo Cibernetico for a Hardcore title shot. And Maelstrom gets one handed to him?
Steve Orbit: But who really cares? Everybody knows I'ma beat anybody they put in there.
Freddy Whoa: Well, it's official-- Triple Threat at Payback. Whoa.
Steve Orbit stands up as both DVS and Maelstrom look towards him. Orbit non-chalantly shakes his head and holds up the Hardcore Title, indicating that the belt isn't goint anywhere.
Gravedigger: From now on I'm the only wrestler allowed at the announce table. Four guys is just too much.
Zach Davis: Maybe YOU should be the one to leave then.
Gravedigger: Watch it, dweeb. I used to own this company, and knowing Seth's contracts, I probably still have the authority to fire you.
Zach Davis: Eep.
Orbit shakes his head at his challenges as he leaves the arena.
The scene fades into the packed Sunday Night Slam arena in motherfucking Flair Country!
Freddy Whoa: WHOOOOOO!
Zach Davis: You mean "Whoa!" right?
Freddy Whoa: No, I mean WHOOOO! We're in North Carolina baaaaby!
Gravedigger: Pandering. Useless pandering, Freddy. I expect these kinds of things from your pe...
Zach Davis: WHOA! And we're coming to you now with some insane lumberjack action! The lumberjacks are all near the ring now.
Freddy Whoa: And what a lumberjack match it's gonna be you guys! We have Steve Orbit! The Cartel! Johnny Reb! Oblivion!
Zach Davis: And of course the new Tag Team Champions Kaz Mazy and Bobby Cairo! They're holding their belts proud and thick!
Gravedigger: New Tag Team Champions? The Vapor Kings were robbed...I mean, come on! The Poondock Saints must have paid off the referee or sucked his dick or something!
Zach Davis: Seriously Gravedigger? They won those belts on the straight! You'll have to admit it someday...maybe to yourself in private, but you know it's true!
"Princes of the Universe" by Highlander Queen begins to blast over the P.A. as Deucey Deuce Murdock, Steeltoe Joe, and another lumberjack Eric Price, collectively Armageddon Inc, make their way out onto the stage. Camera bulbs and titties flash as they walk down the ramp and slide into the ring.
Zach Davis: Here's Armageddon Inc...
Gravedigger: Another crap chute team. Seriously...do they just pull names out of a hat?! These fucking crack...
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! Steeltoe is the current number one contender for ICE Beckman's World Heavyweight Champion and Deuce Murdock is the United States Champion! They're a more than capable team Digger.
Gravedigger: SteelToe has about as much chance of taking home the World title as Adam Young did...and well, you know.
The opening sample of "So Whatcha Want" by Beastie Boys fills the arena as the lights dim. When the song kicks in, strobelights flash throughout the arena and a spotlight hits the entrance. Buddy Roman takes the stage, followed by Natural ICE Beckman and Zombie McMorris. Buddy stands before them with a proud smile. The two men taunt the crowd for a few moments until a series of pyros explode and they are led to the ring by Buddy.
Gravedigger: I can't stand it!
Zach Davis: The Vapor Kings? I know! They're horrible horrible people!
Gravedigger: No! The fact that the Tag Team Championships aren't in VK hands anymore! It's a scandal, I tell ya! Watergate!
Freddy Whoa: CALM DOWN DIGGER! We're about to start this match!
Zach Davis: It looks like Steeltoe is gonna start out for Armageddon!
Gravedigger: And my boy ZMAC is starting out for the Vapors!
Freddy Whoa: Your boy? Didn't he, you know, dig up your dead sister and take your TV Championship away from you? That's not what your boy does for you...
Gravedigger: He didn't TAKE it, he WON it! That's how champions do! That's why Steeltoe won't beat ICE! He's not a champion!
Zach Davis: I'm gonna watch him prove you wrong Digger! Right Freddy?
Freddy Whoa: Keep me outta this one!
Gravedigger: Fuckin' Switzerland over there, huh?
The referee calls for the bell and the match begins.
Zach Davis: ZMAC and Joe lock up in the center of the ring!
Gravedigger: ...and a sick knee to the gut by ZMAC, putting Steeltoe on the ground where he belongs!
STJ rolls away from ZMAC and gets to his feet. zMAC charges, but meets the business end of Steeltoe's...erm, steel toes. He kneels over and STJ whips behind him and drops ZMAC with a hard suplex. He crashes to the mat and STJ hooks him for the pin.
Zach Davis: Kick out after one!
Gravedigger: Of course he did! You think he was gonna be dropped by some baby suplex? Come on Zac!
STJ lifts ZMAC up, but ZMAC clobbers him with a right hook and knocks him towards ICE...but STJ hits ICE and knocks him off the apron!
Gravedigger: WATCH OUT ICE! THE SHARKS SMELL BLOOD IN THE WATER!
The Cartel approaches ICE, but ICE manages to deck Young and knock him into the rest as Orbit runs around the corner for the save. ICE gets back on the apron. STJ turns from the action to eat a clothesline from ZMAC!
Freddy Whoa: What a clothesline from Z!
Gravedigger: STJ is trying to figure out what match he's in now!
Zach Davis: What a malicious move from The Vapor Kings!
Gravedigger: Zac, oh Zac...you just don't get it do you?!
Z has full advantage over Joe now, and he's wielding it. He lifts Joe up and drops him with a suplex and hooks his leg for the pin.
Zach Davis: JOE GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
Gravedigger: I guess he must be thanking God for that one, huh?
ZMAC lifts Joe up again and goes for the irish whip...but Joe reverses it! He whips ZMAC, but pulls him back for another kick to the gut instead. He then tosses ZMAC into Armageddon's corner and tags in Deuce to a pop from the crowd!
Zach Davis: Here comes Murdock! WCF Classic winner and current United States Champion! He also bested ZMAC and Roy Speede at ONE to retain...
Gravedigger: He didn't "Best" anyone! He won a fight with a ladder...an-an inanimate object! Shit, you might stand a chance against a ladder Zac...MIGHT.
Deuce hops over the top rope and charges ZMAC, dropping him witha dropkick! He starts repeated planting elbow drops on The Coked Up Mad Man, the crowd cheering along with each one.
Zach Davis: The crowd is eating this up! Our US Champion hashtag BORNINTHEUSA!
Gravedigger: Ugh! Despicabale!
ZMAC rolls away after the final elbow drop and starts pulling himself up with the ropes. Deuce chargers for the coup, but ZMAC lifts him up...
Gravedigger: One way ticket to the arena floor! Deuce is feeling that one!
All of a sudden, the members of The Cartel rush Deuce and begin laying waste to him.
Freddy Whoa: Adam Young has to be salty that Steeltoe took his opportunity to bring the World Heavyweight Championship to The Cartel away from him!
The rest of The Cartel holds Deuce down as Adam plants his foot right into Deuce's skull.
Zach Davis: Aw, come on! And what the hell is Joey Flash doing out here?
Indeed, Joey Flash is at the entryway. He has a chair, which he opens up and takes a seat on, mic in hand.
Joey Flash: Is life really this easy? God you people really are stupid. It's like the Jews walked themselves into the fucking gas chamber just for me to hit the switch...ah fuck that’ll be the Jews mad at me this week, anyway, plan was to systematically take my time over the next few weeks and smash the shit out of each of you one by one, but you're all here at once. I can't turn this down can I?
He pauses for a moment.
Joey Flash: Nope.
Flash grabs the chair and runs to ringside.
Gravedigger: What is he doing!?
Flash runs towards The Cartel and cracks Adam Young in the head! Joey Flash hits Kaz Mazy next, followed by Bobby Cairo!
Zach Davis: The Television Champion is making a statement here tonight!
Freddy Whoa: We know that lumberjack matches are clusterfucks but this is ridiculous!
Eric Price is the next to run towards Joey Flash. Flash sees the former World Champion coming and quickly blasts Price in the face as well! Flash throws the chair down on top of Price and yells at the top of his lungs.
Gravedigger: Don't let that man get a mic again or we'll be forced to hear another fake apology next week.
Finally, several security guards rush Flash and start pulling him away. Flash, grinning, allows himself to be taken up the ramp after making his statement.
Gravedigger: Amidst the chaos, Deuce Murdock is back in the ring now.
Zach Davis: But he has to be feeling the effects of that kick to the head. He could have a concussion!
Freddy Whoa: That was more than a kick to the head, Zac...it was a message: Don't fuck with The Cartel!
While Deuce rolls into the ring, The Poondocks do battle with Orbit and The Cartel while Buddy Roman yells at ZMAC in the ring.
Buddy Roman: Cover him damn it!
ZMAC hooks a wind whipped Deuce's leg.
Zach Davis: No! Deuce gets the shoulder up!
Gravedigger: That was three! Come on ref, do your damn job!
Buddy Roman freaks out and starts tossing chairs and the such and the like.
ZMAC lifts Deuce to his feet and catches an uppercut from a recovering Deuce. ZMAC bounds back, but Deuce seems to still be reeling from that shot to the head and he hesitates for a moment. ZMAC charges with a clothesline...but Deuce ducks it! But ZMAC whips around and clocks Deuce in the back with a double axe handle. Deuce bounds towards the ropes and uses them to hold himself up.
Zach Davis: Deuce is in a bad way right now!
Freddy Whoa: He has to make the tag to Joe!
Gravedigger: He should just lay down for the pin. Make it a lot easier on himself!
ZMAC sees his opening and moves towards Deuce.
Gravedigger: KICK WHAM! World Tour 69!!
Zach Davis: No! Deuce reverses it!
Freddy Whoa: Chuck Norris Special!
ZMAC hits the ground and Deuce follows behind him.
Zach Davis: Both competitors are on the ground now...
Freddy Whoa: They're crawling towards their corners now...they're looking to make the tag!
Inch by inch, both guys crawl to their respective corners.
Freddy Whoa: Deuce with the tag to Joe!
Gravedigger: Just aa ZMAC reaches Beckman!
Zach Davis: Here we go! A little preview of our upcoming World Championship match!!!
Joe and ICE hit the ring at the same time to a HUGE pop and stand in the middle of the ring. Deuce and ZMAC both lay in their corners to recoup their stamina.
Zach Davis: Here we go! This one's gonna get good!
They stand there for seconds, maybe hours, before ICE just laughs. He turns to Buddy Roman.
ICE Beckman: Is he serious? I can't tell?
Buddy shrugs and laughs with ICE and Orbit...but Joe comes up behind ICE and dumps him out on top of The Vapors and all three of them hit the floor to another pop from the crowd.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!
Gravedigger: Despicable! Just what I expect from "The Holy Flame"!
Zach Davis: Come on Digger, the crowd loved it!
ICE collects himself before the rest of the lumberjacks can get to him and slides back into the ring. Joe is on top of ICE, stomping him on his way in. He connects with his back, shoulder, elbow, and ICE drops back down. STOMP STOMP STOMP to another crowd pop!
Zach Davis: This is what the people paid to see! They wanna see ICE get his!
Joe drops to his knees and pulverizes ICE with a few right fists before ICE shoves him away! ICE pulls himself to his feet, but Joe's on the attack again...but ICE nails him in the gut, using the turnbuckle as leverage. Joe bounds back and ICE charges him with a sit out bulldog. ICE leaps to his feet and stomps Joe. He runs at the ropes as Joe is sitting up and hits him with a dropkick. ICE hooks his leg for the pin.
Zach Davis: NO! The Holy Flame gets the shoulder up! ICE can't extinguish fire!
Eric Price is celebrating as Buddy looks at him with that disdainful mean mugging twenty two karat Jew fro, presented by Popeyes Chicken N Buscuits.
ICE lifts STJ to his feet and hits him in the gut with a knee then irish whips him into the ropes. He comes back and drops him with a hip toss. He then falls back on him drunkenly with an elbow drop. ICE gets.back to hIs feet and lifts STJ up again to repeat this formula. He whips him into the ropes as Buddy Roman hops onto the apron...well, struggles to get on the apron as ICE hits STJ with a shoulder to the gut and STJ doubles over. The referee goes towards Buddy Roman who looks like he's trying to get in the ring.
Buddy Roman: Quit playing with him ICE! Finish it!
ICE lifts STJ back up.
Gravedigger: ICE is going for the Hangover DDT!
Zach Davis: But Joe reverses it! He shoves him away...
Freddy Whoa: Deuce pulls the ropes down! ICE spills out onto the floor!
ICE hits the mat and The Poondocks are on top of him! Steve Orbit rounds the corner and he and Kaz lock up and trade punches. Buddy Roman approaches as does Eric Price, who cuts him off.
Buddy Roman: Tha-thats MY boy! Hands off MY client!
Eric Price hits Buddy Roman across the face with a hard slap to another crowd pop!
Gravedigger: Control this mess ref! Don't make me do your job for you! I should be getting a bonus for this!
Zach Davis: You get paid?
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!
WHOA indeed as Adam Young leaps off the apron and knocks Eric Price, Kaz, and Orbit into the barricade and taking them all out of comission. Buddy Roman just lays there like a slug. It's his only defense.
ICE is slowly getting to his feet while fighting off Bobby Cairo. ICE stands up...
Zach Davis: RCAIRO!...
Gravedigger: ICE maneuvers out!
ICE uses the momentum to slide back in and STJ is on top of him and goes for a size thirteen to the face!...but ICE dodges. Roll up!
Zach Davis: NO! STJ kicks out!
Freddy Whoa: That was close!
Gravedigger: That was a farce! That was a three count! This is an outrage!
ICE charges a quickly standing STJ with a clothesline...but STJ lifts him up on his shoulder!...
Zach Davis: And Deuce outta nowhere with The Chuck Norris Special!
Freddy Whoa: ICE is down!
Zach Davis: STJ with the cover!
Zach Davis: NO ZMAC NO!
Gravedigger: CURB STOMP! ZMAC BREAKS THE PIN AND STJ IS OUT LIKE A LIGHT!
Deuce tackles ZMAC as ICE and STJ lay on the mat. They brawl for a moment before ZMAC kicks Deuce over him with a monkey flip! Deuce hits the mat and The Cartel yank him out of the ring!
Zach Davis: Somebody stop them!
But nobody is up or able to. The Cartel throw Deuce into the announce table and he hits with a crash! Deuce crumples against the table and The Cartel collectively begin to beat on him.
Freddy Whoa: There's nobody that can do anything!...wait?
Deuce kicks Tom Joad away as Chaz James swings...but Deuce ducks!
Zach Davis: Chuck Norris Special to Chaz James!
Gravedigger: Here comes Joad! Get him Joad!
Zach Davis: No! Chuck Norris Special to Joad!
The Cartel is lying on the ground as Deuce slips back into the ring and meets ZMAC again! They start to duke it out as STJ starts to recover, as well as Beckman. They stand to their feet and meet in the middle of the ring. Lock up! ICE goes for an elbow to the gut, but STJ blocks it and shoves ICE away! ZMAC kicks Deuce in the gut and he crumples to the ground as ICE hits the tunbuckle and leans against it. ZMAC turns around and STJ charges him!
Zach Davis: SPEAR!...
Freddy Whoa: ZMAC rolls out of the way!
Gravedigger: THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!!
STJ collides with Deuce on accident and takes him out. STJ looks dissheveled!
Freddy Whoa: He can't believe it!
Zach Davis: Watch out Joe!
Joe turns around and eats a kick to the stomach courtesy of ICE Beckman! Beckman throws Joe out of the ring.
Zach Davis: This match has been outstanding!! Everything we expected!!
Freddy Whoa: Joe has been tossed out, of the ring!!
Gravedigger: EVERYONE IS GOING AFTER JOE!!!
Zach Davis: HERE COMES OBLIVION AND JOHNNY REB.
Freddy Whoa: It looks like they are going after Steeltoe Joe!!
Gravedigger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! EXCELLENT!! THE CHRONO-RIPPERS ARE ATTACKING BOBBY CAIRO AND KAZ MAZY... THE POONDOCK SAINTS!!
Oblivion nails Bobby Cairo from behind with a double fist to the back of his skull!! Johnny Reb grabs Kaz Mazy...
Zach Davis: Johnny Reb nails one half of the tag team champions with a spinning roundhouse kick!!!
Freddy Whoa: The WCF Tag Team Champions are down!!
Oblivion and Johnny Reb turn around, looking around.
Zach Davis: NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!
Gravedigger: YES!!! YES!! YES!!
CLANG!! CLANG!!! CLANG!! CLANG!!
Freddy Whoa: The Chrono-Rippers are violently slamming down those metal chairs against the bodies of the already downed bodies of The Poondock Saints!!
Oblivion: GET UP!! GET UP!! CAIRO GET UP!!
Reb and Oblivion step back, as they let a wobbly Bobby Cairo and Kaz Mazy stand up....
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!!
Zach Davis: OH.... MY.... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWD!!!! Those sickening chair head shots echoed throughout The PNC Arena!!
The Chrono-Rippers drop their chairs, as they spat down on the tag team champions. Oblivion and Johnny Reb grab the mic.
Oblivion: BOBBY CAIRO AND KAZ MAZY!!! CONSIDER YOURSELVES SERVED!! WE ARE COMING AFTER THOSE TAG TITLES!!
Johnny Reb: Time is not the only thing we are gonna split.
Oblivion: Your skulls are what we are gonna split open. We are gonna break your hearts, by taking away those tag titles!! WATCH YOUR BACK GENTLEMEN!! This is where you two need to watch your own backs!! BECAUSE THE CHRONO-RIPPER ARE COMING AFTER YOU!!
Oblivion drops the mic, as The Monster and Johnny Reb proceed to just walk from the lumberjack match.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!! What did we just see?!
Gravedigger: I think we just saw The Chrono-Rippers just force themselves into the tag title picture.
Zach Davis: WOW!! JUST WOW!! This new Dark Johnny Reb and The Monster Oblivion are now officially a tag team and now they are coming after the WCF Tag Team Champions!!
Joe is thrown back into the ring after being attacked. He stumbles up and into the waiting arms of Beckman.
Gravedigger: HANGOVERR DDT! ICE CONNECTS!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!
As STJ hits the ground and rolls over, he starts trying to get back up, but ZMAC hits him with yet another CURB STOMP! ICE hooks his leg for the cover.
Gravedigger: THE VAPOR KINGS WIN! THE VAPOR KINGS WIN!
Zach Davis: Yeah, that's just perfect!
Gravedigger: Come on, don't be so salty Zac! They earned this win, fair and square!
Zach Davis: Yeah, yeah...
Gravedigger: They needed this win after being robbed of the Tag Team Championships last week! They're THE most dominant stable for a reason Zac.
Freddy Whoa: That just might be true. A solid win here tonight from The Vapor Kings here tonight. I think Steel Toe might have bitten off more than he can chew with ICE Beckman.
Gravedigger: Of course he has!
Zach Davis: I wouldn't sell what STJ did here short tonight, or his partner Deuce!
Gravedigger: What? Lose?
The Vapor Kings continue to celebrate as the scene fades to black.
“ With Oden on our side” Hits the PA system.
Freddy Whoa: Looks like we are gonna have a visit by the current Director of Talent Relations.
Zach Davis: And he has a microphone.
Gravedigger: Of course he has a microphone. Why wouldnt he have a microphone? How can he address the masses? Do you exect him to shout? He's not a savage like Freddy over there. We launch T-shirts into the audience, not spears.
Freddy Whoa: That was one time!
Gravedigger: And I was the one cleaning up the paper work. Do you think I enjoy settling lawsuits? Lawsuits costs money. You took food out of my childs mouth.
Freddy Whoa: You don't have any children.
Gravedigger: I did so. BUT I had to sell them to settle this lawsuit. Then all that litigation made me stressed and when I get stressed I get hungry so I ate all the food. So really you wronged me twice.
Odin climbs into the ring and begins to address the crowd.
Odin Balfore: It seems as though I have been the subject of much debate as of late. It would seem like certain men can't accept when they've been beaten. Last week Scarecrow thought it would benefit him to walk out to this ring and air his sandy vag poon for all the world to hear. I don't know about all of you but what I heard was a lot of whining and crying. It was very unprofessional. It was very unsportsmanlike and most of all not very WCF like. So it is clear to me that this is a matter of him wanting to step up and not be held down by those who are better than him. I don't run a soup kitchen but I do run a funeral parlor. I do hold executions in the middle of this ring. We all know that it's happened before. So, I'm going to allow Scarecrow the opportunity to choose his match and his opponent so that this issue may be rectified and put to bed. Because we all know he cant Ragnarok it with a shit. So, Scarecrow.. You get to choose how you end your short career in WCF and against who. Then when you lose, you go get on that WHAAMM-BULANCE and yo go the fuck home till you can act like a fucking man.
Odin Drops the mic and exists the ring as “ With Oden on our side” hits the PA again.
Gravedigger: There you have it. Odin Balfore reaching deep into his heart and gives charity. You want something in WCF, you gotta earn it. Now Scarecrow has the opportunity to earn it.
Zach Davis: Big news indeed. I wonder who and what match he'll pick?
Zach Davis: Main event time, WCF fans!
Freddy Whoa: And baby, is it a doozy.
Gravedigger: One fall isn't enough for these two, they're going two - maybe three. It's Pantheon verses Pantheon as Jayson Price tries to finally prove himself in the eyes of Corey Black! Which he probably won't do because he sucks.
All of the lights in the arena drop as "Explosia" by Gojira kicks in over the arena speakers. When the vocals kick in, pyro explodes from the stage and from around the jumbotron as it fires to life with a video montage of all of Price's greatest moments. A spotlight comes on and shines on the stage as Price steps out from the back to a massive pop from the crowd. Price pauses at the top of the ramp to let the crowd get themselves a good look before heading down the ramp, grabbing a beer from a fan trying to get a high five. He'll down the beer, toss the empty cup into the crowd and then roll in under the bottom rope. He heads for the corner, climbs up to the second rope and gives the fans the finger before hopping down to the mat. He'll pull off his shirt and throw it to the crowd before warming up for the match in his corner.
Zach Davis: Jayson Price, WCF Internet Champion. Challenging man after man and nobody would accept his call. Until last week when this man came calling.
A hush falls over the crowd as the lights slowly fade. WCF's Jumbotron lights up, showing a dark and seemingly desolate scene. Snow covered terrain, fog and snow all over the place, and a building in the distance. A shadowy figure is seen walking up to the building, glowing red eyes, long red trench coat. He steps into the light a bit, showing a full silver mask. The building is seen better, it's the arena in North Carolina, this brings the crowd to life. The man in the mask walks up to the arena and enters the doorway, walking directly to the Gorilla position right behind the curtain leading into the ring and seating area. The man presses a button on his mask, it almost disintegrates and shows the face of Corey Black, popping the crowd hard. Corey puts on some retro headphones and has a Sony Walkman on his hand, which he hooks onto his trunks. Corey presses play, and across the PA comes - you guessed it - "Come and Get Your Love" by Redbone. The screen cuts to a wide shot of Corey Black standing right behind the curtain, as the intro to the song plays. As it hits the "HEEEY!" part, "COREY BLACK" in large yellow text comes across the screen, and Corey himself pops out of the curtain and into the arena itself, dressed in the long red trench coat complete with headphones and Walkman! The crowd is going bonkers as Corey dances on down to the ring, slapping hands and grooving to the sweet beat.
Freddy Whoa: I can't tell if this is fun or mind games! Whoa!
Gravedigger: It's a little bit of both, Freddy. Jayson Price has wanted this match for so long, Corey Black has denied him at every turn. Jayson thought it would be a serious encounter and yet here's Corey with a Guardians of the Galaxy entrance.
Zach Davis: That was the best movie of last year though.
Freddy Whoa: Agreed.
Corey Black reaches the ring and takes off all the Star-Lord costume, smiling and laughing before turning his attention to Jayson Price inside the ring. Jayson is ready. He's hopping around, getting the blood flowing. Corey steps up to the apron and then inside the ring. With both competitors in their corner, ref Stanley Moser calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
Gravedigger: Price verses Black three is on!
The crowd goes nuts yet neither wrestler moves. Tension builds to a boil as they walk toward the middle of the ring. Corey Black surprisingly extends a hand to Jayson, met with a bit of confusion. After a moment, Jayson shakes Corey's hand to the delight of the crowd. Instead of breaking, though, Jayson uses his grip to whip Corey into the ropes! Ducking a clothesline, Corey hits the other side ropes and goes for a crossbody - Jayson catches him! Price tosses Corey into the air and attempts a powerbomb which is reversed into a rana! Jayson, though, cartwheels out of the throw and we're back to square one while the crowd claps in approval.
Gravedigger: I'm not impressed. I mean with Price. Black is usually decent.
Corey and Jayson dust themselves off and once again meet in the middle of the ring. Instead of a handshake, Price slaps Black as hard as he possibly can. This spins Black around and allows him to connect with a quick back kick to the stomach! Price is doubled over, Corey hits the ropes and comes back looking for a high-speed knee strike but Price catches the leg. Jayson sweeps the other, and spins around into position for a Figure Four! The crowd WOO's until Jayson bends down to grab Corey's other leg and gets stopped by an elbow strike to the top of the head. Jayson drops the legs and retreats for a second, allowing Corey to nip up and lock in a side headlock.
Zach Davis: Unusual tactics right here, a side headlock? Really?
Freddy Whoa: These guys know each other too well, they have to execute new strategies.
Jayson goes to push Corey off but Black holds on. Instead, Jayson works his arm into Corey's and uses his strength advantage to break the grip on his head. Jayson with the advantage now, he grabs a headlock of his own. Instantly Corey stomps the foot, spins out of the headlock, ducks behind and locks in a waistlock. Price goes for a back elbow which is ducked, Price is spun completely around and thrown in a Northern Lights Suplex! Instead of bridging, Corey backflips over and pulls Price to his feet again and while Price is dazed grabs his head in another side headlock.
Gravedigger: Fourteen year veteran right there.
Jayson breaks Corey's hold once again, holds and arm and wrings it, and then goes to go behind Corey Black but as he ducks down he eats a knee strike to the side of the face! Corey off the ropes once again to get some steam and Jayson gets a boot up! Corey stumbles off to the side and Price shakes the knee strike off, following up and tossing Corey into the middle of the ring with a belly to belly suplex. Corey hits the mat, rolls, and is back up to his feet only to be caught with a reverse atomic drop and then spun into a Russian leg sweep in one motion. Price floats over, pulls Black to his feet and pushes him into the corner where Jayson begins unloading punches to the head and torso. Eventually the ref backs Price off Black but the damage is done, Corey slumps into a sitting position and eats a running dropkick to the head!
Zach Davis: Jayson Price unleashing the beast all over Corey Black, years of frustration coming out right now.
Jayson yanks Black to his feet by his wrist and delivers a short-arm clothesline. Corey rolls and uses the ropes to stand up and is once again met by a throw from Price, this time a German Suplex. Jayson holds on, stands back up and delivers another German. One more time a release - Corey Black lands on his feet! Jayson knew it, he's charging instantly and SPEAR! SPEAR! Black hits the mat hard enough to flip over to his stomach!
Gravedigger: Damn! What a douche but damn nice spear.
Price crawls over and turns Corey over, first cover of the match!
Corey Black kicks out, probably as expected because Price has Corey in an armbar! Wrenching back on the arm and now kicking at Corey's head!
Freddy Whoa: Ground the high-flyer, not a bad idea.
Jayson is missing more kicks than he is landing, but the arm is torqued back really well. Corey positions himself and he's able to to wiggle out and roll forward, breaking the hold but leaving himself open for - yep - big boot to the gut! Jayson off the ropes and Corey counters with a superkick to the right shin, throwing Jayson in a front flip! Price lands in a sitting position and Corey gets him with a superkick to the back of the head! Another! Rolling Elbow to the back of the head of Jasyon Price as he sits on the mat! Corey lands in a daze right next to Jayson and takes a bit of a breather.
Gravedigger: Damn what a combo! He caved that bitch's head in!
Corey sits up just in time to see Jayson stirring a bit. Both men up to their feet, left hand by Price, right elbow by Black. Right hand by Price, over the top elbow by Black. Forearm series from Black pushing Jayson into the ropes. Corey hits a big elbow that knocks Jayson into a laying position across the middle rope. Corey pulls him up behind the top and hits another big elbow to knock Jayson back onto the middle rope. In one big swoop Corey leaps up to the top rope, springboards off and double stomps Jayson's chest down onto the apron below!
Zach Davis: What the hell was that?!
Gravedigger: It was a car-crash Maggle!
Jayson crumbles to the floor while Corey steps off onto the apron. Corey stalks Jayson and as he stands up goes for a big punt but Jayson somehow moves out of the way and sweeps Corey's leg, sending him face first onto the apron! Without a moment's wait, Jayson grabs Corey's head in a Cravate while he's laying face down on the apron itself. Ref is counting, but Jayson ignores it as he drags Corey down toward the ring post and bounces Corey's head off of it! Then again! Jayson pulls Corey out of the ring a bit and OH MY GOD DOWNFALL! DOWNFALL ON THE FLOOR!
Freddy Whoa: He's dead. Just dead.
Jayson rolls Corey back into the ring, gestures toward the crowd, brushes his shoulder off and drops into a pin.
NOPE - JUST KIDDING - KICKOUT FROM COREY BLACK! There's fight left in this man yet!
Gravedigger: Now I've seen some stuff. But this, this is SOME SHIT.
Surprised, but not shocked, Jayson Price isn't stopping the assault. He pulls Black up and delivers a big time European Uppercut that really rocks Corey. Jayson lifts Corey up onto his shoulders in a reverse DVD.. he motions to the crowd again..
Zach Davis: No he's not going to!
BURNING HAMMER TO COREY BLACK! Right in the middle of the ring! Complete destruction! The cover!
KICKOUT AT TWO!
Gravedigger: What in the..
Corey Black sits right up and stares into the eyes of Jayson Price who, now, is shocked. Jayson is up, he basically pulls Corey into the air and he's looking for the Pricebuster - but no! Kneestrike while he's in the suplex position from Corey Black! Jayson loses his grip a little bit and Corey swings his legs down between Jayson's legs - small package!
KICKOUT from Jayson Price! Both men are up and Corey wraps around into a schoolboy!
kickout again from Jayson, he rushes over into a jackknife cover on Corey Black!
Corey kicks out of that one by pushing Jayson's head through his legs and into a sunset-flip type pin!
NO Jayson kicks out now, cannonballs onto Corey Black and holds him down!
BRIDGE UP by Corey Black! In the typical spot, they stand and Corey rolls Jayson over in a backslide - Jayson rolls completely to his stomach and then knees and COREY BLACK TAKES HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF WITH A RUNNING STRONG STYLE THRUST KNEE STRIKE!
Zach Davis: Goddamn what a series.
Corey Black signals that it is time to end this. He peels Jayson up off the mat and tosses him into the turnbuckle. To a sitting position on the top goes Price, Corey climbs up and hooks in a suplex. Jayson reverses though, headbutts! Jayson lifts Corey up - PRICEBUSTER OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE! NO! Another kneestrike reversal - another small package reversal but this time the men drop off the middle rope and Jayson lands right on his head! Corey holds the pin!
Gravedigger: First fall to Black!
The crowd pops huge as Corey scores the first pinfall! Corey retreats to a corner while Jayson lays on the mat holding his head in pain. There's a bit of a reprieve as the second fall nears.
Zach Davis: These two men are absolutely not disappointing whatsoever. That first fall alone was worthy of a PPV main event, we have at least one more to go! Strap in!
And JUST before the bell rings Jayson Price rushes, pushing Corey through the turnbuckles and into the ring post yet again! DING DING DING! Perfect timing from Price! Jayson lifts Corey up in the suplex and PRICEBUSTER OVER THE TOP ROPE DOWN TO THE FLOOR OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT?!
Freddy Whoa: He's really dead this time! Holy crap!
Gravedigger: Jesus that was the sickest landing I have ever seen! What the hell!
Jayson motions to referee Stanley Moser to begin counting Corey Black out. He isn't even moving. Moser begins.
Zach Davis: I don't even know what to say right now.
Jayson laughs and mocks the crowd who is more booing than cheering right now. Moser gets to eight before Jayson stops him. Price rolls out of the ring, peels Corey up and rolls him into the ring. Jayson slides in, stands up and puts a foot on Corey's chest, pinning him down to the mat.
Freddy Whoa: That was literally academic. Wow.
Jayson's fists thrust into the air, happy with what he has done. The ref is checking on Corey, he's awake and moving, but very slowly. Corey is up, almost being held up by his corner. The third and final fall is under way! DING DING DING! Jayson rushes in again and hits a big shoulder thrust to the midsection, driving Corey into the buckles. Jayson wraps his hand around Corey's head and just throws him face-first into the mat. Jayson goes for another pin, foot on the chest.
Corey knocks the boot off his chest to the delight of the crowd.
Gravedigger: Punk-ass Price is in control of this match right now. His win is within reach.
Jayson stands up and so does Corey, with the help of the ropes. Jayson rushes in and gets back body dropped over the ropes to the floor! He lands hard but gets back up to his feet and is met with a SUICIDE DIVE! Corey hits him flush! Black is fired the hell up, the crowd is behind him! He rolls Jayson back into the ring, slides in himself, and Jayson slaps the taste out of his mouth once again! Price with another slap! Corey isn't taking any of this shit and comes back with a big elbow strike to the head! Corey goes behind and goes for a German Suplex but throws Jayson forward and steps over with his leg, throws the arm back- repeated elbow strikes! FOR VICTORY OR DEATH! Raining blows over and over to Jayson's head!
Gravedigger: Corey has him! For Victory or Death is locked in and Jayson is too out of it!
Indeed, Corey hammers down but Price isn't fading at all. He's still getting his hand in there to block some shots so the ref doesn't call the match. Corey is roughly twenty elbow strikes in when Price finally goes for the eyes, breaking the hold. Dazed, Jayson stands up and catches Corey coming in flush with a Pricecheck! Superkick right to the face! Corey doesn't go down! DOWNFALL! JAYSON DROPS COREY BLACK RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING WITH THE DOWNFALL! THE COVER!
COREY BLACK KICKS OUT AT ONE!
Gravedigger: I'm at a loss.
Jayson is too, he sits up shocked. Corey turns his head and glares into Jayson's eyes. Black to his knees, Jayson to his feet. The crowd is basically shaking the arena, it's so intense. Corey tells Jayson to bring everything he has - and he does. Double underhook. Corey Black is lifted into the air, Jayson is going for For Whom the Bell Tolls! NO Corey slips out the back - Jayson turns into a rushing Corey Black LARIAT! COMPLETE DESTRUCTION!
Freddy Whoa: That's the sixth or seventh big time impact move Jayson Price has eaten!
Corey lifts Price up into an Air Raid, drops his head and neck onto the knee! Deceiver of the Gods! Corey holds on to Price's head while his feet fall to the mat, though - Dragon Sleeper, hammerlocks the arm into the air and REVERSE BRAINBUSTER! ULFBERHT! Jayson spikes down! Corey rolls him over into a pin! It's over!
JAYSON PRICE SOMEHOW KICKS OUT!
Zach Davis: What will it take?!
The crowd roars their approval while both competitors attempt to recover from such high impact moves. Slowly they begin to stir. Corey faster than Jayson. A quick boot puts Jayson back down to the mat, and Corey Black scales the turnbuckles. Rope by rope, each step the crowd gets louder and louder. He spots his target and flies! PHOENIX SPLASH! Corey Black lands it flush! Jayson Price is stuck in a pin!
COREY BLACK WINS THE TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS MATCH!
Gravedigger: He did it! Corey proved his worth to Jayson Price, and not the other way around!
The crowd begins cheering their brains out but it slowly turns to confusion. Inside the ring, the ref is waving his arms. Apparently the match is not over..
Zach Davis: Jayson Price got his foot on the rope! This match continues!
Corey Black shakes his head in frustration.
Freddy Whoa: THIS MATCH ISN'T OVER! WHOA!
Black pulls Price towards the center of the ring and lifts him up. As Corey is lifting, however, Price rolls him up in a small package!
NO!, COREY ESCAPES! Both men are to their feet and run towards each other.
Gravedigger: BURNING HAMMER!
BLACK HITS IT ON PRICE! Black drops onto Price's body and grabs his leg, using all of his energy to lift it up to stop Price from kicking out.
Zach Davis: COREY BLACK WINS IT!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!
Gravedigger: BLACK WINS PRICE VERSUS BLACK III!
Black rolls away, sliding into the turnbuckle before using the ropes to slowly climbing up. Seconds later he realizes he's actually won.
Kyle Steel: And your winner... COOOOOOOOOOREY BLAAAAAAAACKKKKKKKK!
The crowd roars!
Zach Davis: But what will this do to Jayson Price's psyche? Losing this huge main event..
Freddy Whoa: I thought the King of the Internet couldn't get any sicker but... we'll see!
With that, Slam fades to Black.