As Slam goes live, we see Seth Lerch's grinning face. The crowd begins to boo.
Seth Lerch: It is my absolute PLEASURE to announce that due to his injury... JAY OMEGA IS STRIPPED OF THE HARDCORE TITLE!!!!
The fans boo heavily.
Zach Davis: What!?
Gravedigger: What did you expect, Zach?
Seth Lerch: Luckily, in my infinite wisdom, I've made sure that I have not one.. BUT TWO.. number one contenders ready to fight for the belt. Assuming neither of these men are in the Trios Cup Finals, at Asesinato De Mayo, we will see Marc Mayhem face Mod Deuce for the WCF Hardcore Championship!
The crowd pops for that, at least.
Freddy Whoa: What a match that will be!
Seth Lerch: And, hey, maybe I'll feel like throwing another wrestler or two in there as well.
Seth winks as the scene fades out.
“Change” by Deftones hits the speakers and the crowd starts booing loudly as Gravedigger walks out from the back. He is wearing a sombrero on his head and a “Logan Fears Competition” t-shirt, poking fun at Logan and Katherine Phoenix bailing on their match tonight.
Zach Davis: He’s been retired for months and yet he still has it. They still hate the guy.
Freddy Whoa: Yeah so do I. I hate that asshole. Can we get a different commentator?
Zach Davis: Shut up, he probably will watch this and know you said that.
Freddy Whoa: Oh shit.
Gravedigger walks to the top of the ramp with a mic in his hand. He lifts it up to speak.
Gravedigger: Viva Mexico!!
The crowd pops.
Gravedigger: Ok so, we all here at WCF have a special surprise for you here tonight! Tonight, I present to you WCF’s first ever TACO BOWL!
The crowd stands there confused. A few people pop because they like tacos.
Gravedigger: If you’ll look over here to my right, you will see a large taco salad bowl. Tonight, for you wonderful fans, we will have ten competitors come out from the back and enter this bowl. This will be a battle royal to declare the first ever Taco Bowl winner!
The crowd is slightly more into it. More people pop, possibly because they didn’t hear the word taco last time and did this time so they cheer, too.
Some cheap, generic sounding music that Seth likely purchased online somewhere on a site full of ads hits the speakers and out walks several members of the WCF Jobber Roster: Mountain Dew Bob, El Taco De Genial, Elvira De Rossi, Dong-Wang Kim, Dude Davidson, Motherfuckin Danny, Hardcore McMurderKill, Cryboy McEmo, Skittlez, and Hugh Jazz.
All ten compeitors just pretty much walk out from the back and towards the taco bowl with little to no enthusiasm except for El Taco De Genial and Mountain Dew Bob. El Taco De Genial plays to the crowd and gets major pops because they like tacos.
Freddy Whoa: I believe it’s clear here that in a taco bowl match, El Taco De Genial is the clear favorite here.
Zach Davis: Were you thinking that one up the entire time he walked from the back to the bowl?
Mountain Dew Bob pulls out a pair of Mountain Dew cans, pops their tops and slams them together and turns them up, guzzling them down to the delight of the crowd. Gravedigger walks over and kicks him off the ramp and into the Taco Bowl. The crowd boos.
The rest of the competitors all carefully climb into the bowl and stand there watching each other. Gravedigger lifts the mic again.
Gravedigger: Now, this wouldn’t be a real Taco Bowl without some items you’d typically see in a Taco Bowl. Bring it on out here!
Gravedigger waves towards the back. Several members of MS-13 come walking out from the back pushing wheelbarrows.
Zach Davis: Oh my God. What the hell is in those wheelbarrows?!
Freddy Whoa: HAHA! They’re pushing out taco meat, sour cream, lettuce, tomatoes and more!!
The eyes of the competitors grow wide as the wheelbarrows stop at the side of the ramp one by one and empty their contents all over the competitors and into the bowl. A couple of them slip and fall in the taco sauce and sour cream.
Gravedigger: Now, with that done, it’s tim----
Gravedigger is interrupted as “The Fire” by Rev Theory starts playing. Gravedigger’s eyes go wide as he turns to the entrance.
Zach Davis: John Barber?!?!
No it is not! His best friend Billy walks out from the back. Billy is wearing shorts, a Hulkamania cut-off t-shirt, and Macho Man shades. The crowd pops loudly for John Barber’s best friend.
Freddy Whoa: It’s BILLY!!
Gravedigger looks confused as Billy walks up to him, hands him a piece of paper. Gravedigger skims over it and speaks.
Gravedigger: So you were signed to an appearance contract?
Billy grabs the mic and pulls it towards him.
Billy: OH YOU DIDN’T KNOW?!?! YO ASS BETTER CAL---
Gravedigger snatches the mic back.
Gravedigger: Stop quoting shit and get in there, dammit.
Billy walks over to the edge of the ramp and slowly removes the shades. He points at Mountain Dew Bob with wide eyes ala Hulk Hogan. He shakes his head while wagging his finger. Billy starts to rip his t-shirt in half to the disgust of the crowd. Fortunately, he’s not strong enough and after a few seconds of struggling with it, Gravedigger boots him from behind and knocks him off the ramp. Billy lands on Dong-Wang Kim, sending tomatoes, sour cream and taco sauce flying everywhere.
The bell rings to start the match as Gravedigger walks back down the ramp and to the commentator table. Dude Davidson and Motherfuckin Danny waste no time and grab Dong-Wang Kim who is completely out from being squashed by Billy and toss him over the side of the taco bowl.
ELIMINATED: Dong-Wang Kim
Gravedigger: Jesus, I barely have time to get back to the announcer table and someone is already eliminated?!?
Zach Davis: Partially thanks to you!
Freddy Whoa: Elvira De Rossi jumps onto the back of Hardcore McMurderkill and starts clawing away at his face. He staggers around with her on his back and finally swings around, knocking her loose. Elvira flies off and lands in a heap of sour cream.
Gravedigger: I’m sure that’s not the first time she’s had a glob of white substance on her chi---
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! Mountain Dew Bob getting into the whole Mexican theme here with a pair of Mexican uppercuts to Elvira as she gets up. She quickly falls down each time and with all the sour cream it’s harder to tell if she’s slipping or going down from the uppercuts.
Billy is finally back up and he reaches over, grabbing Cryboy McEmo and delivers a headbutt. The crowd pops as Billy body slams Cryboy McEmo. He drops a hambone-sized elbow onto the solar plexus of Cryboy McEmo. Billy picks him up and walks over to the side of the taco bowl as if he’s going to throw him out. McEmo throws some taco sauce in Billy’s eyes, blinding him. He grabs Billy’s head and slams it against the side of the taco bowl, breaking pieces of it off. Cryboy McEmo kicks Billy in the gut and DDTs him into a puddle of taco sauce.
Billy lays there, still as if unconscious. McEmo waves over for Hugh Jazz and the two of them try picking up Billy. They struggle and finally are able to get him up when Skittlez comes over and helps. They lift him to his feet and walk him over to the nearby edge of the bowl. They start trying to dump him over but he comes back to life and elbows Skittlez in the side of the head a couple of times. Billy manages to turn around and tries to fight the three men off but they look like they’re about to dump him over. Suddenly, Billy spits out a massive amount of taco sauce into the faces of the three men ala Great Muta.
All three men stagger back. Billy clotheslines McEmo down. He grabs Skittlez and whips him into the side of the bowl, then does the same with Hugh Jazz. Hugh Jazz bumps into Skittlez so hard that he breaks through the side of the taco bowl and is eliminated!
Dude Davidson and Motherfuckin Danny are slugging it out in the middle of the bowl. Davidson gets the upper hand with a Mexican legsweep into a pile of lettuce and meat. Motherfuckin Danny gets up and drops Davidson into the pile of meat with a Mexican arm drag. The crowd pops at Mexican moves being used.
Elvira tries to scrape the eyes of El Taco De Genial but can’t find his eyes. She just uselessly scrapes his hard taco shell. A hand shoots out of the side of the taco and slaps her to the mat. El Taco flops onto her, crushing her under his taco goodness. He finally gets up and Elvira goes to spear him but bounces off of him instead. He flops at her again and slams into her, knocking her out of the Taco Bowl.
ELIMINATED: ELVIRA DE ROSSI
Gravedigger: We’re down to 8 competitors in what is arguably the weirdest match WCF has ever seen.
Hardcore McMurderkill and Hugh Jazz, who has finally regained his sight again, start teaming up on Billy once more. They pound him with lefts and rights, knocking him back towards the center. They kick him over and do a big back body drop and send the ingredients of the taco bowl everywhere, hitting the fans in the nearby first two rows with sour cream, taco meat, taco sauce, and lettuce as Billy’s large body crashes down. Cryboy McEmo comes from out of nowhere and double clotheslines both men. Billy slowly gets back up and Cryboy McEmo whips him towards the taco shell, but Billy reverses it and Cryboy McEmo slams into the side of the shell. He hears a cracking sound and the crowd holds their breath to see if he’ll get eliminated. Billy walks over to him and starts hitting him with Ric Flair chops, making the crowd yell “WOO” with every slap.
Billy gets into it and starts laying a Rock-style smackdown. He goes for the final slap where he spits into his hand and sees both Hardcore McMurderkill and Hugh Jazz running at him. He ducks down and both men go flying over him and tackle Cryboy McEmo through the taco shell. Fortunately for Hugh Jazz he hangs onto the side of the shell. He somehow “skins the cat” and pulls himself back over the taco shell, avoiding elimination.
ELIMINATION: Hardcore McMurderkill and Cryboy McEmo.
Mountain Dew Bob, Hugh Jazz, Dude Davidson, and Motherfuckin Danny realize that Billy may be a threat to winning this match and all four men swarm him, beating him down. They push him over to the side of the taco shell and start trying to lift him over. Hugh Jazz starts kicking at the shell, trying to break it so Billy just falls through.
The crowd pops as Taco de Genial comes to the rescue. He starts slamming his shell against the attackers and slaps at a couple of them and soon Billy is able to fight them off. Taco and Billy take out the remaining competitors with body slams and suplexes and Taco Shell slams from Taco.
Billy touches his stomach for a moment and then looks over at Taco de Genial with wide eyes. He slowly licks his lips.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA this is creepy! What the hell is he looking at him like that for?
Gravedigger: I think Billy is hungry and believes El Taco de Genial is an actual taco!
El Taco de Genial is oblivious as Billy walks over to him and grabs him in a giant bearhug. Billy licks the side of the taco and tears into the side of it, biting into El Taco de Genial. Taco’s other arm flails about as he screams in sheer terror as Billy starts gnawing away. Taco sauce starts spurting out from Taco’s “wounds”.
Motherfuckin Danny and Hugh Jazz pull Billy off and then start fighting themselves. Mountain Dew Bob pulls another Mountain Dew can from his back pocket and sprays Hugh Jazz right in the face with Mountain Dew. Hugh staggers about and Bob superkicks him out of the taco bowl!
ELIMINATED: Hugh Jazz
Motherfuckin Danny pounces on Bob and grabs the can, smashing it over his forehead and floors him with a Mexican uppercut. Billy is slowly getting up. Motherfuckin Danny runs over and jumps onto Billy’s back and uses him to catapult himself onto the stage. Danny leaps backwards with a huge moonsualt and takes out both Mountain Dew Bob and Dude Davidson who is in the way. Danny picks up Dude and tosses him out of the shell.
ELIMINATED: Dude Davidson
El Taco de Genial is still laying there, bleeding out taco sauce. Motherfuckin Danny gestures to Mountain Dew Bob and they grab Taco. They toss him out of the taco shell. Paramedics come rushing down the ramp but before they can, homeless Mexican children swarm El Taco de Genial and bloodcurdling screams can be heard in the arena.
ELIMINATED: El Taco de Genial
Zach Davis: We are left with three men in this match. Motherfuckin Danny, Mountain Dew Bob, and Billy. Who is going to win this odd match?
Danny and Bob decide to team up on Billy. They start laying the boots to him and go to town on him with double suplexes, double DDTs. The crowd starts cheering for Billy. Billy manages to make a little comeback with a series of headbutts. He runs at the two men and they manage to flapjack him into a pile of the little bit of taco salad ingredients left. Billy just lays there for a few seconds.
Bob tells Danny that they should throw him over. Billy starts moving but in a weird way. They walk over closer and Billy is actually eating the contents of the bowl itself. He’s engorging himself on taco meat, tomatoes, taco sauce and some sour cream. The two men grab Billy and pull him up. He shoves them away. They come at him again and start hitting him with lefts and rights, but he shrugs them off.
He dances around the ring, shaking ala Hulk Hogan, except he has tomatoes and lettuce stuck to his face. He finally stops and wags the finger at the two men. They run at him and he grabs them in a massive bearhug. He starts headbutting them both while in the bearhug. He finally lets them go and they fall to the mat.
Motherfuckin Danny is the first one up and he comes at Billy again. Billy bends forward and juts his large gut out like Kung Fu Panda and slams it into Motherfuckin Danny who flies out of the taco shell!
ELIMINATED: Motherfuckin Danny
Billy turns around as Mountain Dew Bob is getting up. He somehow pulls another can of Mountain Dew and starts chugging it down. Billy kicks him in the gut, causing him to spray the Mountain Dew everywhere. Billy runs and bounces off some nearby invisible ropes, comes back and gives Mountain Dew Bob the big boot. He looks out at the crowd, with wide eyes. He slides Bob’s arm against him and takes off an imaginary elbow pad. It takes him a minute due to both his large girth as well as how messy the shell is but Billy manages to run to both sides of the shell and drops a People’s Elbow on Bob. Billy picks up Bob and the crowd pops as he tosses Mountain Dew Bob over the ropes and wins the match!
“The Fire” by Rev Theory hits the speakers as the referee walks over and holds Billy’s arm up.
Kyle Steel: The winner of WCF’s first ever Taco Bowl…….BIIIIIIILLLLLLLLYYYYYYY!!!
Kyle Steel: Welcome to W-C-F Slam, live from the Arena Mexico in Mexico City, Mexico! Our first match is a fatal four-way with standard rules.
“Go With the Flow” by Queens of The Stone Age plays over the PA System as Florian Stark walks down to the ring.
Kyle Steel: Introducing first, from Sidco, Waterloo in Ontario, Canada. Standing at six foot three inches and weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds. FFFFFFLLLLLLOOOORRRRRRIIIIIAAAAANNNNNN SSSSSTTTTAAAAARRRRRKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!
He gets in the ring, and gives one thumbs up to the crowd, who for the most part is unresponsive. He stands in the ring waiting for his opponents as the lights go out. A spot light shines on the stage as “Comin’ Up” by Sam Adams begins to play and gold lights start blinking around the arena. Kyle Kemp slowly walks out onto the stage and comes to a stop in the spotlight and crosses his arms.
Kyle Steel: His opponent, from Chicago, Illinois. Standing at six foot four inches and weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds. KKKKKYYYYYLLLLLEEEEEE KKKKEEEEEMMMMMPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!
Kemp smiles smugly at the crowd and begins to shake his head up and down. He struts down the aisle glaring at fans and rolls into the ring. The lights all come back on as he extends both his arms out to his side and begins to laugh. He walks over to the corner, bypassing Florian Stark, and leans on it as the song fades away.
“Assassin” by Muse comes on as the strobe lights flicker at the entrance way and a blue smoke fills the stage. “The Antidote” Spencer Adams pops out and charges to the center of the ring.
Kyle Steel: Introducing from Chicago, Illinois. Standing at six foot one inch and weighing in at one hundred and ninety pounds. “The Antidote” Spencer AAAAADDDDAAAAAMMMMMMSSSSSS!!!!!!!
As Adams steps into the ring, he holds out his arms in an “x” motion and swipes them downward away from his body. He then charges down to the ring, vaulting quickly in and playing to the crowd on the turnbuckles.
The lights in the arena once again go out and soon sirens start going off as “Pain” by Three Days Grace starts playing over the PA systems. Red strobe lights flash in tune with the music and the sirens.
Pain, without love
Red fog begins to engulf the stage as the arena is still blanketed by darkness.
Kyle Steel: Making his way into the ring, weighing in at two-hundred and thirty-two pounds, representing the Dark Riders Gang Motorcycle Club, WCF Chapter, he is “The Extreme Strongman” BBBRRYYYANNN PPAAAYYNNEEE!
“The Creation of Devastation” walks out onto the stage with a smug look onto his face. He glances over the crowd without a care in the world and ignores the members of the WCF Galaxy as he makes his way down the ramp to the ring. He walks straight up the steps onto the apron where he dusts his feet off before entering the ring. Once in the ring he does a few poses flexing to the booing crowd showing off his muscles before the match starts.
Zach Davis: Our first match of the night. This Bryan Payne guy looks very promising.
The referee rings the bell, at which point Spencer Adams rushes towards him and hits him with a dropkick, sending Bryan Payne out of the ring. Kyle Kemp rushes towards Florian Stark and begins a series of body and head punches.
Freddy Whoa: Kyle Kemp and Spencer Adams making quick work of Bryan Payne and Florian Stark.
Spencer Adams approaches and delivers a running neckbreaker to the already stunned Florian Stark, sending him rolling out of the ring. As Spencer stands, Kemp moves in with another series of punches. He stops the punches, and grabs Adams for a belly to belly suplex. He delivers.
Gravedigger: Kyle Kemp taking the fight to Spencer Adams.
Spencer pushes Kyle back and regains his footing. As Kyle move forward ready for a clothesline, Adams drops him with a drop toe hold, sending him right into the ropes and right into the trying to recover Bryan Payne.
Zach Davis: Bryan Payne knocked back out of the ring.
Spencer Adams sends a knee to the back of Kyle Kemp. He helps Kemp up, and pushes him into the ropes, where he delivers a series of elbow strikes to Kemp’s lower back.
Zach Davis: Spencer Adams wearing down Kyle Kemp.
Spencer Adams lets go, and Kyle Kemp drops to the floor. Florian Stark enters the ring and attempts to tackle Adams. Adams reverses it into a DDT. Adams stands back up, and is met with a step up for a belly to belly suplex from Kyle Kemp.
Gravedigger: Another Suplex!
Before Kemp can lift Adams for the move, Bryan Payne jumps from the top rope.
Bryan Payne flies through the air, attempting to land on both Spencer and Kemp. Adams however ducks, rolling forward. Payne lands a crossbody on Kyle Kemp and stands back up. Adams lifts Payne up to his shoulders and flips him forward, slamming him on his back.
Freddy Whoa: The Vaccine!
As Kyle Kemp is pulled out of the ring by Florian Stark, Adams pins Payne.
Florian Stark delivers a punch to Kyle Kemp.
Kemp punches back, and attempts to slide into the ring.
Zach Davis: We have a winner! Spencer Adams wins his first match in the W-C-F! Kyle Kemp too late to break up the pin.
The WCF Camera Crew focuses on WCF Owner Seth Lerch as he reviews paperwork while drinking from a bottle of Tequila. The door busts open as WCF Television Champion Thomas Uriel Bates walks in, surprising the boss.
Seth Lerch: What do you want?
Thomas Uriel Bates: Boss, I’ve been hearing about your problems lately. ICE age, Pantheon, FCC, and now Imperium.
Seth Lerch: Well...
Thomas Uriel Bates: You thought the ICE Age was bad, and then Pantheon reformed. Then you decide to let the ICE Age rise from the grave and face them. Didn’t quite work out that way did it Seth? No, ICE Age has joined in with the PoonCuckolds and now you have Imperium.
Seth Lerch: Now he’s an even bigger threat than before, than even Pantheon.
Thomas Uriel Bates: Yes, but that Boss, is where we come in. The Dark Riders Gang MC, we’re not here to get rid of your Imperium problem, or you Pantheon problem, unless they make us. One thing we will do though, is keep it contained. Boss, we’re going to make sure that this big ol’ stable war doesn’t claim any innocent lives.
Seth Lerch: So what, you’ll be protectors or something?
Thomas Uriel Bates: As long as we have your support, boss.
Seth Lerch: I’m going to have to pay protection money, right?
Thomas Uriel Bates: Just looking for your support, boss.
Seth stands up, looking at the massive mountain in front of him. He smiles, and takes his shirt off, revealing a “Support 4 18 7” OAAO shirt. The two shake hands.
Freddy Whoa: ...Whoa!
Zach Davis: What does THIS mean!?
Gravedigger: Seth has never really been able to take care of his own problems, so Thomas Uriel Bates is smart for trying to take advantage of him - er, uh, I mean, to help him out.
Zach Davis: Things ARE spiraling out of control - besides Pantheon and Imperium we've got the Sentinels, Logan and Katherine Phoenix running amok, the Chrono Rippers.... Seth needs all the protection he can get.
Freddy Whoa: Except in the bedroom, because I hear nothing is really happening there.
“Falling Higher” by Helloween plays throughout the Arena as Gemini Battle makes his way towards the ring. The crowd starts chanting.
Crowd: Ge-mi-ni… Ge-mi-ni…
Much to his dismay. He starts yelling at the fans reaching out just to make contact with him. They are so numerous that he can’t avoid incidental contact which he brushes off furiously.
Gravedigger: Here he is, one of the most popular stars in the WCF, whether he likes it or not.
Zach Davis: He hates it… I think it’s kinda funny.
Gemini gets to the ring and throws his trench coat to the ground and starts stomping on it, jumping up and down in frustration.
Gemini Battle: What is wrong with you people! Don’t you know how EVIL I am? I attacked an FCC representative last week and burned his briefcase and official government papers to a crisp!
Crowd: EN FUEGO! EN FEUGO! (on fire… on fire)
Gemini Battle: What the hell are you saying? OK. So maybe you don’t care about the FCC because we’re in Mexico. Did you know that I recently stopped a Heroin Drug Smuggle. Oh, yes! I stopped drugs from leaving your country and bringing in cash to your poor third world country. I took money out of the pockets of your drug dealers who control the government here in Mexico… What do you think of that? You can’t be happy for me taking money out of your pockets, can you?
Crowd: Gracias Gemini (clap clap clap clap clap)… Gracias Gemini (clap clap clap clap clap)
Gemini Battle: Yea, be pissed about that. And that’s not all. I’m going to force feed one of your own to eat this burrito… oh yes. But not just any burrito. It’s filled with ‘The Carolina Reaper’ The world’s hottest pepper. It came in at 2.2 MILLION Scoville units of heat on the scale. Yes… it is the spiciest pepper EVER. And I’m going to force feed one of your own to eat it.
Gemini leaps out of the ring and rushes over the Announce Table. He grabs Gravedigger by the head, and shoves the burrito into his mouth and covers his nose forcing the man to chew. Gemini laughs a maniacal laugh as Digger finally swallows.
Gravedigger: *cough…cough* Picante, pero delicioso. What is this I taste, a hint of cilantro? Nice burrito, Gemini. But I could use a glass of water or something.
Gemini Battle: Yes… water… of course.
Gemini pulls a water bottle from his pocket and hands it to Gravedigger who drinks a big gulp of it.
Gemini Battle: HA! That was tap water! Now you will suffer MONTEZUMA’S REVENGE! MWAHAHAHA! Only true evil would inflict such a diabolical plot on an innocent bystander.
Gravedigger grabs his stomach as it starts to turn. He gets up and runs backstage as Gemini Battle gets back into the ring. The crowd is laughing but Gemini somehow hears gasps of horror as his own deluded mind truly believes that he is pure Evil incarnate.
Gemini Battle: Yes, cower in fear to Gemini Battle!
Crowd: We fear Gemini (clap clap clap clap clap)… We fear Gemini (clap clap clap clap clap)…
Gemini Battle: YES, FEAR ME!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA! Now I have one last thing to tell you before I leave you and get ready for my Trio’s Tournament match where I’m going to wipe the floor with your precious Poondock Saints… I learned this bit of Spanish form my partner Deuce Murdock…
The crowd explodes in applause at the sound of Deuce’s name. Gemini nearly falls over as the crowd starts jumping up and down, giving the biggest pop he had ever heard from anything that has left his mouth.
Gemini Battle: SHUT UP! SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! I’m about to drop a Truth Bomb on all of you. *Ahem* (in the worst Spanish accent ever) Todos ustedes son la mayor multidad en el mundo! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Falling Higher plays as Gemini exits the ring to the cheers of the crowd behind him. Meanwhile Gravedigger has made his way back to the announce table.
Zach Davis: How you feelin’ Digger.
Gravedigger: Nothing a little Imodium won’t handle.
Freddy Whoa: So what was that awful thing that Gemini just told everyone?
Gravedigger: He called them the greatest crowd in the world. I know that’s not what he meant. Something must have been lost in translation.
The camera shifts backstage where Thomas Bates and Deuce Murdock are waiting for Gemini.
Gemini Battle: I think something went awry. The crowd seems pretty happy.
“Gonzo” Deuce Murdock: Nah, you said everything right, there pal.
Zach Davis: We have our next match coming up next.
A thumping echoing sounds of a bass guitar echoes until the screeching sounds of the electric guitar and thumping drums start. Darkness floods into the arena like air rushing into a vacuum. For several moments the crowd is left vulnerable; skittish women cling to their purses, lest some opportunistic monster comes to tear them away. Before anybody can be truly afraid, however, a blinding, ethereal light bursts from the entranceway and unnerving music continues to fill the air. The crowd sees a figure emerge onto the walkway, silhouetted against the glaring fluorescence. As he creeps his way along to the ring....
Kyle Steel: Coming down to the ring.... from Camden, New Jersey, weighing in at 200 pounds... THIS IS VULGAR!!
Several fans in the front row are able to make out his features and recoil in disgust. He’s a monster, but of a much worse variety than the women were worried about.
Gravedigger: WHOA!! Get a look at THIS guy!!!
The eerie music continues before it slowly fades out.
Freddy Whoa: This guy looks really freaky!!
Zach Davis: Can't wait to see this next guy then.
Eye of the tiger by Survivor begins to blare out as Snapz enters, slowly walking onto the stage, glaring thru the crowd as he walks to the ring.
Kyle Steel: His opponent, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania... weighing in at 250 pounds.... THIS IS SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPZ!!
Gravedigger: Wow!! Stanley Moser is gonna have his hands full so far with these two looney tunes!!
Snapz approaches fans on the aisles as if to interact, but then turns to a camera with a evil grin and slides into the ring. As he stands in the middle of the ring he raises his fist suddenly bringing it down with a bang of pyro going off. Vulgar laughs and points his right index finger towards the direction of his opponent. Snapz takes offense to that and proceeds to almost charge towards Snapz.
Zach Davis: The third match participant is about to make his appearance....
The words "Dampshaw" come on the screen in flashy, Victorian style lettering. Dampshaw III walks down, arrogantly waving his hand not unlike the Queen.
And did those feet in ancient time
Kyle Steel: Walking towards the ring, from Isle of Wight, England... weighing in at 225 pounds... REGINAAAALD DAMPSHAAAAW THE THIRD!!
Dampshaw looks around at the crowd while walking, giving the people looks of disgust as he truly believes that he is above them.
Bring me my Bow of burning gold
The Arena Mexico is shaking from the thunderous boos coming from the crowd.
Gravedigger: It's apparent that THIS crowd isn't favoring ANYONE in THIS match!!
Freddy Whoa: And this match is underway.
The three combatants are circling around in the center, of the ring. all three have their eyes on each other.
Zach Davis: All three of the match participants are charging at one another.
Gravedigger: Vulgar gouges the eyes of Snapz....
Zach Davis: Snapz falls hard down to the mat, from a perfectly executed European Uppercut by Reginald Dampshaw the third!!
Dampshaw grabs Sbapz legs.
Freddy Whoa: INDIAN DEATHLOCK!!
Snapz, instantly begins to scream out in horrific pain.
Vulgar bounces off the ropes and flies towards Dampshaw....
Dampshaw falls backwards, hitting the mat hard. Snapz struggles to stand up.
Zach Davis: Snapz is charging towards Vulgar....
Freddy Whoa: Bicycle kick!!
Gravedigger: But, Snapz misses the kick!!
Dampsshaw charges towards Vulgar...
Zach Davis: Vulgar moves out of the way!!!
Freddy Whoa: THE REFEREE IS DOWN!! Reginald Dampshaw...
Gravedigger: The third...
Freddy Whoa: ....just crashed right into Stanley Moser.
Dampshaw turns around...
Gravedigger: THE RED SHIT!!!
Reginald Dampshaw III: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!
Dampshaw staggers around....
Zach Davis: A savate kick by Vulgar sends Reginald Dampshaw....
Gravedigger: The Third!!!
Zach Davis: ....stumbling backwards, landing, leaning against the ropes.
Vulgar creeps behind Dampshaw...
Freddy Whoa: SLEEPER!!!
Gravedigger: Half nelson sleep suplex!!
Zach Davis: Where did he come from?!
Freddy Whoa: Snapz flew from out of nowhere and nails Vulgar with a flying clothesline!!
Gravedigger: Snapz is hooking up with a sharpshooter!!
Snapz has Vulgar in the submission hold.
Freddy Whoa: A running stiff kick to the back of Snapz by Reginald Dampshaw...
Zach Davis and Freddy Whoa looks at Gravedigger.
Snapz let's go of the sharpshooter, Dampshaw grabs Snaps....
Zach Davis: Uranage Backbreaker!!!
Freddy Whoa: Vulgar drop kicks the knee of Reginald Dampshaw.
Dampshaw gets shoot kicked to his liver. Vulgar grabs Snapz....
Gravedigger: COOL... JUDO!! TOMOE-NAGE!!
Dampshaw charges towards Vulgar...
Zach Davis: SAVATE KICK!!
Vulgar grabs Dampshaw forcing his finger into the flesh of his throat and downwards to hook the back of the sternum.
Freddy Whoa: Dampshaw is thrashing around, flailing his arms around!!
Gravedigger: Snapz ctaches Vulgar off guard with a nasty clothesline!
Vulgar grabs Snapz forcing his finger into the flesh of his throat and downwards to hook the back of the sternum.
Zach Davis: Snaps quickly taps out!!
Kyle Steel: The winner of the match.... Vulgar!!
The Vulgar vs Snapz vs Reginald Dampshaw III match has ended and the match participants are slowly walking up the entrance ramp. "Master of Puppets" by Metallica begins to blare out of the Arena Mexico's speakers.
Gravedigger stands up and proceeds to clap.
Freddy Whoa: What are you doing?!
Gravedigger: Showing Seth Lerch the proper respect he deserves.
Zach Davis falls out of his seat, from behind the desk.
Zach Davis: WHAAAAAT?!?!? Since when do you give a rat's ass about Seth Lerch.
Gravedigger doesn't say a word, but continues to stand and clap.
Freddy Whoa: You all know what that means. WCF Owner and our boss Seth Lerch is about to make an appearance.
Seth Lerch slowly walks out to the entrance stage, with a scowl come over his face. Seth takes a few steps off the entrance stage and starts to walk onto the top part, of the entrance ramp, but stops. Seth puts a mic to his lips, as he looks around the Arena.
Gravedigger: Seth doesn't look too happy.
Seth puts the mic to his lips.
Seth Lerch: Everyone saw what happened to Hank Brown, several minutes ago. That vicious and disgusting attack on an interviewer was uncalled for!! I want... NO!! SCREW THAT!! I DEMAND THAT THE CHRONO-RIPPERS COME OUT HERE AT ONCE!! I have something important to tell them!!
Zach Davis: UH-OH!!
Freddy Whoa: This doesn't sound good.
The house lights dim, as "Bodies" by Drowning Pool hits the speakers. Lighter colored lights come on. Marc Mayhem and Oblivion slither and lurk out onto the entrance ramp.
Zach Davis: Where's Johnny Reb?!
Freddy Whoa: We heard his laughter earlier.
Oblivion immediately gets in the face of Seth Lerch. Marc mayhem stands REAL close to the left of Seth Lerch.
Seth Lerch: I suggest you two step away from me!
Oblivion: OR WHAT?!
Seth Lerch: For years, I have put up with so much of your violent, chaotic behavior. I have let a few things slide. But, that attack you three did to Hank Brown was the last straw.
Zach Davis: WHAT?! What does Seth Lerch means by "last straw"?
Freddy Whoa: Noooooo....
Gravedigger: NOT LIKE THIS!! NO SETH NO!! DON'T DO IT!!
Seth Lerch: YOU THREE GAVE ME NO OTHER CHOICE BUT WISH YOU THREE WELL IN YOUR FUTU...
Oblivion gets REAL REAL close in the face of Seth Lerch.
Oblivion: STOP!! WCF!! We, the Chrono-Rippers have proof of why The Monster was unable to appear on WCF television for almost three weeks.
Zach Davis: What proof is Oblivion talking about?
Freddy Whoa: PLOT TWIST!!
Gravedigger: If The Monster has proof of something, it's gonna be good.
Oblivion: Show the footage!!
The WCF Jumbo-tron begins to show footage from Seth Lerch's office.
Seth Lerch: Come in.
Two gentlemen wear black suits walk into the office, carrying a briefcase. The crowd reacts with a shocked reaction.
Zach Davis: Gravedigger?
Zach Davis: What's going on?
Gravedigger: I have NOOOO idea. If this has to do with Oblivion, I'm very curious to find out.
The footage continues...
The two men in black suits approach Seth Lerch's desk.
FBI Agent #1: We want to see Oblivion aka Jakob Lister.
Seth Lerch: For what reason?!
A second FBI Agent places both of his hands on the desk and aggressively creeps in closer to Seth Lerch.
FBI Agent #2: For the simple reasoning of kidnapping, robbery, burglary, breaking and entering, assault, rape and multiple counts of murder.
Seth Lerch: My deepest apologies. Oblivion is not available at the moment.
Zach Davis: GOOD JOB, SETH!! That's a man who protects his wrestlers.
FBI Agent #1 grabs for the black briefcase, opens it up and slides it towards Seth Lerch.
FBI Agent #1: As you can see, there is fifty thousand dollars there, if you can help up apprehend this so called monster....
Seth stops the agent from talking and proceeds to stand up and walk right towards the hidden camera, that was placed for Seth Lerch protection. The scene goes black and static.
Zach Davis: WHAT?!
Oblivion: WAIT!!! WAIT!! THERE'S MORE!!!
The WCF Jumbo-tron continues to show an image of Oblivion working out at a local gym, when several FBI Agent in black masks and full gear ambush The Monster, as they drag out Oblivion out of the gym. the Agents place a burlap sack over the head of Oblivion, as The Monster is tossed into the back of a van.
Freddy Whoa: NOOOOOO!!
The FBI Agents are seen shaking the hand of Seth Lerch, who holds the black briefcase. The Jumbo-tron goes black. The crowd reacts with boos.
Gravedigger: SETH WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Oblivion: What we don't have the footage, was the torturous actions that those rogue FBI Agents did to Oblivion!! Those Agent no longer worked for the FBI. They were fired for behavior when they were on a stakeout for yours truly. They broke too many rules. But, if it wasn't for Johnny Reb and Marc Mayhem, Oblivion wouldn't be standing here. Let's say, you won't be hearing much from those FBI Agents anymore.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!!
Oblivion: But, what everyone wants to know Seth Lerch... WHY DID YOU BETRAY OBLIVION?! WHY DID YOU DO IT?! WHY?!
Seth Lerch: It just seems that no one can seem to take you out of the picture!! So, I had to take measures into my own hands.
The Monster grabs Seth Lerch.
Marc Mayhem: Oblivion no!!
Seth Lerch: You better listen to your partner!! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!
Seth's physical appearance is his hair is messed up. His clothing is in somewhat shambled.
Seth Lerch: I should of "taken care" of you, years ago!!! But, now I have no choice but wish you on your future...
Oblivion reaches back, about to strike Seth Lerch.
Zach Davis/Gravedigger/Freddy Whoa: WHAT?!?!
Seth Lerch lands a low blow kick on Oblivion, who falls down to his knees. Seth ends up laughing as he scatters away, as Mark mayhem chases after Seth Lerch. Oblivion screams in the mic.
Oblivion: SETH LERCH!! WE'RE GONNA HUNT YOU DOWN!! WCF, EVERYONE IS ON NOTICE!! WCF IS OFFICIALLY ON LOCKDOWN!! The Chrono-Rippers are about to take over WCF!!
Zach Davis/Gravedigger: WHOA!!
Freddy Whoa: HEY!! THAT'S MY LINE!!
Scene slowly fades out, as Slam goes to commercial.
“Kill the Lights” by Birthday Massacre hits. Celeste takes the walk up to the ring like a model takes to a runway. Her feet stride with effortless confidence, her chin tilted upwards and shoulders pushed back to elongate her neck and expose her jugular to tempt, to dare her opponent to either kiss or mangle her throat. Not a drop of sweat escapes her pores, no fear beats within her breast, almost as if she were not human but a divine creation. She removes her over-sized shades only moments before slinking under the rope, with an elegance so captivating it is hypnotic.
Kyle Steel: Making her way to the ring, from Paris, France. Weighing in at 130 pounds: Celeste!
Zach Davis: First to the ring is Celeste Bouvier-Fontaine. Best known in the WCF so far, of course, for her bitter rivalry with Joaquin Phoenix.
While the red-headed bombshell stands in wait for her opponent, an uncharacteristic smile crosses her face as she catches the gaze of the referee. The corpulent official sheepishly nods at the beauty when he realizes he’d been caught staring, a conspicuous tremor emanating from his loins as he fixes his eyes back down to the floor. Celeste giggles and steps forward towards the shy, pin-stripped man, who’s struggling against every fiber of his being to not get a full-on erection in the middle of the ring. While his gaze is still shakily aimed at the ground, the supple-fleshed goddess coyly leans up and whispers something into his ear. It takes not but two seconds for the ref’s cheeks to turn as red as Celeste’s hair.
Freddy Whoa: It looks like that little minx is getting pretty friendly with the official. Might be a good idea to keep the BONER-CAM trained on his crotch for the duration of the match.
As the lights in the arena go out, "Get Born Again" by Alice in Chains begins to blare over the crowd. A flash of light shoots towards the center of the ring and you can make out the shape of Freakshow. The arena stays blanketed in darkness until a red light hits the stage, a light fog begins to drift out and engulf the stage. Mikey eXtreme walks out as "lightning" begins to crash into the stage. Freakshow, who appeared to be in the ring just moments ago is now slowly following Mikey to the ring. Mikey does not make eye contact with anyone in the crowd and ignores their requests for any interaction. Mikey slides into the ring and rolls to the corner where he sits, leaning against the bottom rope. Freakshow circles the ring, staring at Celeste with a lecherous glint in his eye.
Kyle Steel: And her opponent, from Brooklyn, New York. Weighing in at 230 pounds: Mikey eXtreme!
Freddy Whoa: That’s a solid 100 pounds he has on her.
Zach Davis: Just a quick side note: Proceeds of this bout will be donated to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
The bell sounds and Mikey eXtreme springs to his feet like a jack-in-the-box. The two combatants circle with vicious intent in their eyes.
Mikey eXtreme: Hey, bitch, you want to see something?
For no discernible reason, Mikey sinks his teeth into the webbing of his own right hand. Several audience members wretch as he pulls a sizable hunk of flesh out with his grinning mouth, letting the blood flow down his arm like a tribal tattoo. Celeste just dourly stares her man down, clearly unimpressed.
Celeste: Adorable. Now hit me!
Like a mother asking for a kiss on the cheek, Celeste playfully leans forward and points to her face. Mikey eXtreme stands back for a moment as an inquisitive look crosses his eyebrows.
Zach Davis: We’ve seen this before.
Shrugging his shoulders, he lunges forwards and lets loose with a blazing fast superkick. With split second timing, Celeste ducks the blow like a ghost and blasts Mikey’s exposed groin with an incomprehensibly powerful uppercut. The bearded schizo lets out a muted whimper and drops face-first to the ground before he can even put his foot back down.
Freddy Whoa: WOO! Can somebody say PENILE FRACTURE!
Zach Davis: I’m sure he’ll hold no hard feelings about that low blow.
Celeste leaps on Mikey like a rabid cat and digs her perfectly-buffed fingers knuckle-deep into his gooey eye sockets. Mikey momentarily squeals before furiously bucking the devil-woman off of him and reversing the position. The tides now turned, he grips Celeste by the throat and attempts to eye-rakes HER in retribution. Before his nails can even graze those baby blues, however, the referee suddenly jumps right into the middle of the action and sternly pulls the schizo off.
Referee: No eye-gouging!
Zach Davis: Interesting. There seems to be a bit of biased officiating going on.
Freddy Whoa: Looks like it. I’ll tell you what, though, the crowd’s definitely not into the idea of the referee actually enforcing the rules of play.
WCF Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Mikey eXtreme stands in disbelief as the ref lets loose with a tirade of reprimands. So taken off guard is he by this hands-on officiating that he doesn’t see Celeste as she slyly circles around to his back and surreptitiously pulls a taut piece of rope out from between her breasts.
Zach Davis: Looks like Celeste’s about to slap on her BDSM-themed finishing hold, “The Nothing.” Mikey doesn’t even see it coming.
Celeste jumps on Mikey’s back and wraps the cord around his throat like a noose. The schizoid can’t even let out a gurgle as his trachea is crushed to the size of a pinhole. Dropping to both knees, he impotently attempts to claw the millionaires’ face as she whispers sadistic nothings into his ear.
Freddy Whoa: Don’t fight it, Mikey! Just make the best of a bad situation and engage in a little asphyxiophilia!
Finally managing to snag a clump of red hair, Mikey pulls with all his might and wrenches the bitch off his back. Yanking the rope out of the woman’s grasp, he laughs before throwing the cord into the crowd and slamming a boot to Celeste’s head like an exclamation point.
Zach Davis: Whammer! Celeste’s cerebrospinal fluid was definitely not enough to cushion her brain from that blow.
Freddy Whoa: Fun fact: Women are up to 300% more vulnerable to concussions than men!
Celeste clutches her temple as a third tit begins growing on the side of her head. She attempts to regain her footing, but a teeth-shattering Shining Wizard sends her crashing back to the mat. Mikey leaps on her like a predator going for the kill and viciously locks on a single-leg crab. Celeste gasps as she feels her leg suddenly being ripped out of its socket.
She stretches as far as she can to grab the ropes, but they’re just out of reach. The referee is right on top of the action but unable to do anything; he anxiously looks on as Celeste struggles and writhes in Mikey’s python-like grasp. As a last remaining salvo, the curvaceous millionaires looks back at the sweating official with huge, puppy-dog eyes, practically begging him to do something.
Boner-Cam Announcer: Bo-Bo-Bo-BONERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
Zach Davis: Ah, the damsel-in-distress routine. Gets em’ every time.
At the very split second Celeste’s middle-finger nail grazes the bottom rope, the referee inserts himself into the action once again and calls for Mikey eXtreme to release his hold.
Referee: Rope break!
Let go of her!
WCF Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!!! YOU SUCK, FATASS!!!
Zach Davis: The crowd once again voicing their disapproval. Mikey doesn’t seem very intent on letting go of his hard-earned hold.
After some aggressive prodding from the ref, Mikey yields his half-boston and angrily gets to his feet. With a look of maniacal rage in his eyes, he gets in the official’s face and balls up his fist.
Doc: Don’t do it, Mikey! Don’t beat his ass! He’ll just disqualify you!
Mikey grimly turns to his imaginary mentor and nods, his fury nipped in the bud. Before he can turn around to finish Celeste off, however, the devious female has leapt onto his back once again and applied a brutal modified sleeper hold.
Zach Davis: Celeste’s attempting to choke Mikey out again, sans rope this time.
Freddy Whoa: That’s no excuse for him not to masturbate.
Mikey eXtreme tries pulling her off by the hair like he did before, but quickly finds that Celeste was smart enough to sink the hooks in this time around. His neck already damaged from the previous strangle he had to endure, the bearded psychopath falls face-first to the ground while sounds of an unearthly timbre eek out of his mouth.
Freddy Whoa: His eyes look like they’re about to pop out of his head!
Zach Davis: Ladies and gentlemen viewing at home, if you’re in the accompaniment of any small children, I implore you to make them watch this. If they giggle and clap at Mikey’s gruesome death, that’s a good early indication they’ll grow up to become sociopaths.
Despite Celeste’s implorations for him to tap, Mikey does not give in. Pulling strength from the deepest well-springs of his being, Mikey eXtreme crawls over to the corner and begins climbing the turnbuckle. With Celeste still savagely trying to compress his neck into a straw, he reaches the top and salutes the crowd.
Freddy Whoa: What’s he up to?
Zach Davis: Seems like he’s looking our- BABY FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!
Like Lucifer being cast out of Heaven, Mikey leaps into the air with Celeste still attached to his back and execute his fabled finishing move: The eXit Strategy, a modified moonsault senton. The announcers try to scramble away, but it’s no use; the two wrestlers come crashing down straight onto their table. Landing full-force on top of the 130 lbs woman through the wooden desk, Mikey finally escapes the hold as a burst of blood erupts from Celeste’s mouth like a geyser.
Freddy Whoa: Goddammit, I just spilled tea all over my lap!
Zach Davis: *Cough* *Cough*
Both combatants are badly wounded. With Jell-O legs, Mikey pulls himself up from the rubble and hobbles over to the apron like he’s been shot. Climbing under the bottom rope, he rolls over to his back while blood seeps out of several newly-minted orifices on his ribcage. After several seconds hesitation, the referee initiates the count for Celeste.
Mikey eXtreme leaps to his feet as the crowd lets out a raucous round of jeers for the ref. He glances over to Doc with a look of manic frustration, unsure of how to deal with the biased ref. Celeste, meanwhile, has just pulled herself off of the shattered table.
WCF Crowd: PICK UP THE PACE, FATASS!!!
Celeste is on both feet again and making her way back to the ring, but her schizoid opponent has apparently all but forgotten about her. Mikey eXtreme is right in the referee’s face again, ready to pummel him into a bloody pulp for his unfair handling of the match. Suddenly noticing this, the cunning red-head holds back and feigns injury; Mikey may just win the fight for her by disqualifying himself.
Doc: Don’t do it, Mikey! Don’t do it! For the love of God, don’t beat his ass!
It takes every ounce of his willpower for Mikey to hold back. He’s just about to knock the referee’s ass out when, from seemingly out of nowhere, Freakshow appears on the ring apron.
Referee: -rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… Hey! Hey! Get off the apron! Don’t make me disqua-
The referee pauses as he locks gaze with the monstrous, disfigured man. A dead silence suddenly ripples from the ring like a shockwave and permeates the entire arena. The uneasy quietness cuts through the surrounding parking lot, spreading across the city and hitting the network of highways beyond. Cars stop suddenly in their tracks, the sheer intensity of this moment appearing to just completely freeze all life around it. In this second, a visceral sensation of dread explodes in the referee’s gut. Although he wouldn’t be able to articulate why, he knows that if he allows Celeste to win due to his biased officiating… He’s going to get raped later on this evening. Big time.
Referee: Uh… FiveSixSevenEightNine-
The ref swiftly boots Celeste off the apron.
The referee raises Mikey eXtreme’s arm as "Get Born Again" by Alice in Chains begins blaring on the loudspeakers.
Kyle Steel: And your winner, Mikey eXtreme!
The camera pans in, where we see Mod tighten the laces on his boots, a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red Label sitting next to his foot. Mod then grabs the half-full bottle, and starts chugging from it. He belches loudly, before crushing the bottle with his bare hands, cutting his hand in the process, but he doesn't seem to notice or care. He then says...
Mod Deuce: They sentenced me to death... they sentenced me to death... But Death can't see me, or hear me... They don't see me, at all... For the giant I am, they can't see me at all... They can't see the little Angel on my shoulder... The one who tries to stop me, but he can't see me, either...
Hank Brown: Uh, Mod?
Mod's eyes dart downwards, then says...
Mod Deuce: What do you want, you slimy fuck?
Hank Brown: The guys in the back are worried. Are you going to follow through on facing...
Mod grabs Hank by the upper arms, and picks him up to eye level. Hank grabs Mod, as Mod says...
Mod Deuce: Get your fucking hands off of me, fucker! Or you'll be wiping your ass with hooks for the rest of your life!
Hank unhands Mod, as he hangs there, still at eye level...
Mod Deuce: I signed this contract, putting my name to this match, and I'll be fucked in the ass if I back the fuck out of it! Dead as I am, it don't fucking matter. I'm already dead! WHAT THE FUCK DO I CARE?! WHAT DO I CARE, HUH!? WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT MOD DEUCE, HUH!?!? SURE AS FUCK AIN'T YOU FUCKERS!
Mod goes to town destroying his locker room, before he grabs the cameraman, chucking both him and the camera into the wall as the shot goes all wacky with movement as he repeats those lines over and over again. The final scene from the camera is Hank Brown standing over the cameraman, as it looks if Hank Brown is taking the cameraman's pulse...
As we come back from commercial, everyone is in the ring.
Zach Davis: AW SHIT!
All twelve man are going crazy! Fighting with one another, fists are flying everywhere. WCF veteran Adam Young is taking on BioWalker by himself as his boys are beating down Jimmy Wicked. Meanwhile Danny Anderson and Caraid are going toe to toe with Louis Bartkowski, Lazer Johnson, and Big Train.
Freddy Whoa: What a cluster... fudge!
Young is able to Clothesline BioWalker out of the ring. Jimmy Wicked runs at him but gets thrown out of the ring as well!
Zach Davis: Oof!
Young and his boys run at Caraid and Anderson but Caraid and Anderson kick them in the guts. C. Anderson and Noskov DDT two of the New Freebirds while D. Anderson lifts Young for a Brainbuster. Young reverses it and lands behind Anderson. Danny kicks him in the gut again and goes for a Curb Stomp, but Young throws Anderson out of the ring!
Gravedigger: There goes Danny Anderson!
Caraid run at Young and Clothesline him down. Bartkowsk, Johnzon, and Train are all out of the ring because they're hurt. Caraid kick Young out of the ring before rolling Lazer Johnson back in. Charlie drops Johnson in the Celtic Crusher and rolls out of the ring while Conner locks on the Face Rake Armbar!
Freddy Whoa: JOHNSON TAPS!
Zach Davis: Caraid wins!
The bell sounds.
Gravedigger: Huh. The DRG is once again victorious! Believe it or not.
Caraid helps Anderson to his feet as the team begins to celebrate.
Freddy Whoa: Alright, next up we’ve got another –
The camera cuts to the locker room, where The Sentinels, Occulo and Dune, are conversing.
Freddy Whoa: Wait a second. It looks like we’ve got something brewing backstage. Let’s take a look.
The two men are speaking too softly to be heard, and after a moment they nod and give each other a firm handshake. Just then there’s a knock at the door.
Occulo: Come in!
The door opens and in steps Howard Black. He closes it behind him and walks over to where The Sentinels are standing.
Howard Black: You guys wanted to talk to me?
Occulo: We did. You’ve got the biggest fight of your life coming up – how are your nerves?
Howard Black: I’ll admit I’m a bit anxious, but I’m not nervous. I don’t have any apprehension or fear running through me. I’m ready for this shit.
Dune: Good, because tonight’s going to be a big step up from what you’re used to. You’ve taken the ball and ran with it so far, and we’ll need you to keep bulldozing ahead against Ice, Flash, and Z-Mac.
Occulo: But we trust you to do that. We didn’t just draw your name out of a hat when we chose you to be our third member for the Trios Cup. You proved yourself early on, and we see unlimited potential in you.
Howard Black: Damn, thanks guys. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who can see my future is bright.
Dune: How would you like to make it a little brighter?
Howard Black: What do you mean?
Occulo: When Dune and I started out, the plan was to remain a tag-team. But then you came along, and we began discussing the benefits of adding a third man – not just for the Trios Cup, but to become a full-time Sentinel.
Dune: We concluded that it’d be to our benefit, so long as he wasn’t a weak link. And with that in mind, your name jumped out at us as a perfect fit.
Occulo: So what do you say, Howard – will you accept our offer? Will you join us in becoming a Sentinel?
Howard looks from Occulo to Dune, then bows his head. The two Sentinels exchange a glance before turning back to Howard.
Howard Black: You know…I really hate to do this…
Occulo and Dune each raise a brow in anticipation.
Howard Black: …to the rest of the WCF, because as a trio we’re going to be a force to be reckoned with. Of course I’ll join you, are you fucking kidding me?
Dune: Glad to have you on board.
Dune sticks out his hand for Howard to shake, but the False Prophet lunges at him and gives him a bearhug. He releases him and does the same to Occulo, who pats him on the back, a bit taken aback by Howard’s enthusiasm.
Occulo: Welcome aboard, Howard. Easy now, you’ll want to save some of that strength for the match.
Howard Black: I won’t let you guys down. I’ll toe the line and maintain the Sentinel standard.
Dune: You’ll do more than maintain it – you’ll expand upon it. And you were right about the three of us being a force to be reckoned with. Or, rather, one not to be fucked with.
Occulo: Well let’s go out there and prove it tonight.
The camera fades out as the three men begin going over the upcoming Trios Cup match.
The sounds of several Harley-Davidson motorcycles blare over the sound system, slowly fading out. After a brief pause “Call Me the Breeze” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play.
Zach Davis: First Trios match of the night, and for the rest of the show, you might as well sit on the edge of your seats.
Freddy Whoa: Our first match has the Dark Riders Gang, with Bates, Murdock, and Battle representing, coming out to the ring right now.
Gravedigger: I'll give them that they worked well last match, but they do not compare to the years of experience that the Boomcocks have here tonight. Kaz is new to the mix, but Bobby and Odin have been working together for years.
Thomas Uriel Bates is the first to step up on stage, followed soon by "Gonzo" Deuce Murdock to his left, and Gemini Battle to his right. The three of them move as one in a V Formation to the ring, as Vanessa follows the group. Once at ringside, Bates climbs the ring apron, then steps over the ring ropes coming in. Gemini goes up the ring steps to the right of Bates, holding the ropes open for Vanessa to step through, while Gonzo goes up the steps left, before launching himself over the top rope into the ring. The three of them find their corner, as they talk over the match. Commentary continues.
Zach Davis: The obvious experience factor going to the Pooncocks, no doubt. But the DRG here has something for everyone. Strength, grit, speed, teamwork...
Freddy Whoa: Yeah, they banded together quite fast in this tournament.
Gravedigger: My money's on Bobby, where the smart money's always at!
Freddy Whoa: So how do you explain your losses when he last faced ICE?
Good thing that the Pooncock Saints decided to grace us with their presence at this particular moment, because it looks like Gravedigger wants to commit a 187 on Freddy."Natural Born Killaz" by Dr. Dre and Ice Cube tears through the PA system, as Odin Balfore, Kaz Mazy and Bobby Cairo emerge onstage, being led toward the ring by their manager Bolts Quackenbush, who's waving that Old Glory Poon Guinean Flag with the hammer and sickle and them fifty stars and thirteen bars.
Zach Davis: The Poondock Saints are in the house!
Freddy Whoa: You mean POONCOCK! POONCOCK!
Zach Davis: They're just not as exciting to see, now that they've turned on EVERYBODY!!!
Gravedigger: They should not apologize for ending a stupid war, or becoming a significant part of a group of winners! Win first, you can fix feelings later.
The three of them enter the ring behind Bolts, who goes into the ring, still waving the Poon Guinea Standard, as the two teams stand across from each other. Kyle Steel with the microphone in the ring...
Kyle Steel: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the 2015 Trios Cup Tournament to crown the FIRST EVER TRIOS CHAMPIONS!!!
Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of 828 pounds! WCF TELEVISION CHAMPION, THOMAS URIEL BATES!!! "GONZO" DEUCE MURDOCK!!! GEMINI BATTLE!!! DARK RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDERRRRS GANG MOTORCYCLE CLUB!!!!!
Crowd: DRG!!! DRG!!! DRG!!! DRG!!!
THEIR OPPONENTS!!! Weighing in at 791 pounds!!! DEY BE THOSE POONCOCK SAINTS, YA HEAR?! DEY BE DAT "ALLFADDAH!" ODIN BALFORE! DEY ALSO BE THAT "GAWDFADDAH!" BOBBY CAIRO!, AND DEY ALSO BE DAT KAZMONSTA, YAH HEARD?!
A rain of "boos" falls down even harder than the cheers were for the DRG. All six men are inside of the ring, as they determine within each other who's going to start off first...
Zach Davis: And the CROWD IS GOING NUTS, AS "GONZO" IS TAKING THE RING FIRST!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! VOLUME CONTROL!
Gravedigger: And out to meet him is Odin Balfore! That should shut this crowd up!
And the rain of boos drowns out the cheers for Gonzo, as the circle each other, before they go for a lock-up. Gonzo fakes, and tries to score a kneelift, but is caught by Odin, grabbed by the top of the skull, and thrown to the ground! Odin follows up with an elbow drop, before picking him up and whipping him into the ring. Gonzo rebounds, and connects with a flying forearm to a surprised Odin Balfore!
Zach Davis: Fast as ever for a man with one foot!
Gravedigger: Not bad, I suppose...
Gonzo follows up with a Muay Thai clinch, as he kicks and knees the legs of Odin Balfore, buckling him on one occasion, before finishing him off with a knee strike catching Odin in the face. Gonzo tags out to Gemini, who picks up where Gonzo left off, as Gemini isolates Odin's right leg, and executes a dragonscrew legwhip on Odin...
Zach Davis: And the DRG are taking Odin's legs away from him!
Gravedigger: Dammit! And Gemini's cutting the ring off!
Gemini drives his boots into the head and shoulders of Odin, before grabbing him in a front headlock and executing a DDT on Odin, still on his knees. Gemini then looks over at the crowd, cheering wildly for him, as he shakes his head, and what might be a slight grin on his face, as he tags in Bates with much approval from the crowd! Bates gets in, and waits for Odin to get to his feet, as he cuts the ring off. Bobby and Kaz are shouting wildly, as Odin still recovers...
Zach Davis: Jeez, I don't think I've ever seen Odin this bad off, be...
Gravedigger: Yeah, he has. This is nothing...
Odin and Bates meet in the middle of the ring, and Odin catches Bates with a kneelift that catches him off-guard. Odin then scores a headbutt, before backing up and winding up for a big right hand...
Zach Davis: Bates with a boot to Odin!
Freddy Whoa: And I think Odin was winding up for something big, there!
Gravedigger: No doubt in my mind...
Bates picks up Odin, before throwing him into his team corner. Gonzo and Gemini hold Odin in place, as Bates comes crashing into Odin with a Corner Clothesline, right after both Gemini and Gonzo jump off of the ring apron. As Odin comes stumbling out, Bates picks up Odin OVER HIS HEAD, AS HE STARTS TO BENCH PRESS HIM!!!
Zach Davis: THE MEMPHIS GIANT SLAM!!!
Freddy Whoa: NO! CAIRO'S HAD ENOUGH! HE GRABS THE GIANT WITH AN R-CAIRO, AND BATES DROPS ODIN ON TOP OF CAIRO!
Gravedigger just shakes his head, as Thomas shakes off the attempted R-Cairo. The referee clears Cairo, as Odin hits a low blow on Bates coming up, before hitting Surtr's Revenge on Bates IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! Odin goes for a cover...
Zach Davis: And Gonzo perched on the top turnbuckle, ready to jump and break up the count...
Gravedigger: And WHAT THE HELL? ODIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Odin hits the ropes, before coming down on Bates with...
Zach Davis: THE RESURRECTION! A COVER!
And Gonzo comes crashing down on top of Odin, breaking up the count, as every man in the match enters the ring! Gemini and Bobby start slugging away at each other, while Kaz picks a fight with Gonzo! Both legal men are still down in the middle of the ring, as the referee tries to break up the fighting and regain order in the match.
Zach Davis: And Gemini's got Bobby in the corner!
Freddy Whoa: And Kaz has got Gonzo in a corner!
The crowd counts, as Gemini mounts Bobby and does a 10-Count punch, while Kaz keeps pace, as he drives his shoulders into Gonzo's sternum...
As both men finish off their respective opponents, both Bobby and Gonzo crash to the ground, as both Gemini and Kaz look at each other, and charge...
Gravedigger: AND THIS IS WHY THERE SHOULD BE NO REFEREES! DAMMIT!
Both men are cut off by the referee, as Odin recovers. Kaz immediately backs off and gets out of the ring, before Odin immediately tags in Kaz, who pounces on a slow-moving Bates, scoring a dropkick to the knee that buckles Thomas to his knee, before bringing him completely down with a running bulldog. Kaz then waits on Bates, who's getting up slowly by the ropes. Kaz then hits the ropes, coming off with...
Zach Davis: REPTILIAN! COVER!!!
And Kaz is pressed off! Bates lets out a gigantic roar, as he gets to his feet. Kaz hits the ropes, trying to hit Hanging Dong, but is instead picked up by Bates and slammed into the ground with a desperation chokeslam that ironically enough places him closer to his corner than Bates is to his. The referee begins to count...
Zach Davis: And Kaz Mazy is coming to life...
Gravedigger: He crawls and... TAG TO CAIRO!!!
Freddy Whoa: TUB is close to tagging Gonzo...
Bobby Cairo comes in, and immediately grabs Bates by the feet, dragging him back into the middle of the ring, before locking on...
Zach Davis: CAIROPRACTOR!!!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!
Gonzo jumps the ropes as the referee checks Bates, as he levels Cairo with a...
Zach Davis: CHUCK NORRIS SPECIAL!!!
Gravedigger: DISQUALIFY THEM!!!
As Kaz and Odin respond, Gonzo is already retreating from the ring, as he's being chided by the referee, as we find both Bobby and Bates trying to find home base, with the referee initiating the count...
Gravedigger: Goddamn Gonzo and his Chuck Norris Special!
Freddy Whoa: This is a great match, though! And we got three more of these to go!
Gravedigger: Don't remind me...
Both men are drawing close...
Zach Davis: HOT TAG FOR BATES TO GEMINI!
Gravedigger: CAIRO TAGS IN ODIN!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!!!
Both men come into the ring, and just fire rights and lefts at each other! The ring fills, as the energy explodes in the arena, as Cairo recovers, and hits Bates with an...
Zach Davis: R-CAIROOOOOUTANOWHEAHH!!!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! FLASH KICK TO ODIN FROM GONZO!
Right into Gemini, who pulls him down in a headlock, before pulling him up with a...
Zach Davis: GOD'S PARADOX!!!
Zach Davis: CHUCK NORRIS SPECIAL ON KAZ!
Bobby dives to make the save...
Bobby lands on top of Gemini, but the referee calls for the bell!!!
Freddy Whoa: WOAHOHA! THE DRG PULL OFF THE UPSET!
Zach Davis: GEMINI WITH THE PINFALL VICTORY OVER ODIN BALFORE TO ADVANCE THE DARK RIDERS GANG IN TRIOS CUP!!!
Gravedigger: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
The DRG quickly regroup on the outside as their music plays. The Poondocks help Balfore up in the ring, none of them believing what has happened!
The lights in the arena go out. Silence fills the air as the fans begin to get restless. Suddenly there is a loud explosion as pyrotechnics begin shooting out from the four corner posts. 'Orion' by Metallica begins playing on the jumbo-tron as a lone individual can be seen standing in the ring. He is wearing a long black trench coat with black boots and a black hat. He pulls a microphone out of his coat pocket and turns it on as he begins to speak as a mixture of cheers and boos erupts from the audience.
Night Rider: And so it begins. I look around here and I see a lot of familiar faces, Along with a few new ones. Even the mighty Odin has come out of retirement to wreak havoc once again. It's time for the Night Rider to ride once more. No longer a part of any group and with no partner. It's time for me to prove to myself and everyone else that I deserve to be here and I can be a success on my own. No more Shadow Demons, No more Angels of Death. Just a lone warrior out to do battle against any who dare stand in his way.
The crowd erupts once again, This time more cheers than boos can be heard.
Night Rider: Three times I have stood before you as a Champion. Twice as part of your World Tag Team Champions and a third time as your peoples champion. It is my goal to do my best to rise to the top and once again claim a championship. I intend to fight until there is no fight left in me and I will take on all comers. I'm not here to play games and pussyfoot around. The Night Rider is back bitches, and boy is he pissed. You will all find out just how much in the weeks ahead. Stay tuned and pay attention because it isn't going to be pretty.
The crowd cheers once more as 'Orion' cranks back up and Night Rider exits the ring.
‘Cortez the Killer’ hits the sound system as the crowd erupts in jubilation. Occulo, Dune...and Howard Black step out onto the stage and address the crowd. Occulo pulls them in and speaks to them
Occulo: No distractions, remember our rivalries but remember also why we are here. Don’t ask yourselves whether we are good enough to beat them, shout in their faces that we’re good enough to win this whole fucking thing. Now, go.
He pushes them away and they make their way to the ring. One more address of the crowd and they slide into the ring. Standing close together in the middle to prepare for the arrival of the Vapor Kings.
The lights dim for a moment and then a single spotlight hits as surprise surprise Joey Flash steps into it.
Joey Flash: Can you dig it?!
Joey Flash: Hey Occy! You ready for this shit? Dune you fuckin rat, it’s over, Howard Black was also there...fuck him.
The light goes down at Mile Zero by Periphery hits The arena lights dim as the crowd buzz begins to build to fever pitch. The music begins and lingers for a moment before Joey Flash in all his glory emerges from behind the curtain staring at the crowd. He floats regally down the aisle bathing in the atmosphere and stopping to shake the hand of anyone who desires it.
He circles the ring not once, but twice. Delaying his entrance and the match even further riling the crowd before sliding into the ring and sitting down in one of the ring corners staring at his future foe with both apathy and disgust.
Then the opening sample of "So Whatcha Want" by Beastie Boys fills the arena as the lights dim. When the song kicks in, strobelights flash throughout the arena and a spotlight hits the entrance. Buddy Roman takes the stage, followed by Natural ICE Beckman and Zombie McMorris Buddy stands before them with a proud smile. The three men taunt the crowd for a few moments until a series of pyros explode and they are led to the ring by Buddy.
Occulo nods at Howard and Dune, who climb through the ropes and stand at the other side of the turnbuckle. He turns around and just straight up eyeballs Joey. He walks up to him and just stares into his eyes, as soon as the bell rings he sends an absolute fuckbastard of a punch straight to his face knocking him down to the mat. He lifts him up to one knee and delivers another punch to his face, before going hell for leather on Beckman and Zombie, knocking them to the outside and going after them. Meanwhile Dune and Howard take to the ring and begin to furiously assault Flash. Landing boot after boot and punch after punch. The referee tries to split them up but struggles to maintain...well...create some kind of order.
Occulo throws Beckman into the guard rail, whilst ducking a clothesline by Zombie, clutching him around the waist and german suplexing him on to the steel steps with a clatter. He stops to catch his breath and slides into the ring. Joey is already bloodied up.
Freddy Whoa: Well...sorry folks but we simply haven’t been able to keep up with this heinous action so far
Zach Davis: It’s ridiculous. Joey has been...bodied already
Gravedigger: Flash is in massive massive trouble here, it could be over before it’s even started, stupid fucker.
Dune lifts Joey to his feet and pushes him towards Occulo, who instead of hacking him back down, he simply holds him by the throat and stares into his eyes.
Occulo: The sight of blood with us two is like the sight of a storm for aged sea commanders. An old friend and a fucker of a challenge.
Joey Flash: Keep talkin faggot.
Joey smashes his palm into Occulo’s nose, sending blood flying everwhere, Joey spins and suplexes Occulo across the ring and wipes the blood away from his own face. Dune hits Occulo’s hand and steps in.
Dune dodges a punch to the left and sends an elbow into Joey’s temple, making him feel extremely dizzy for a microsecond. Dune then sharply kicks the back of Joey’s knee and grabs him tightly from behind before planting him with a release german suplex. He quickly lifts Joey back up and plants him back down the Hourglass delayed brainbuster DDT!!
Freddy Whoa: Is this over already?!?!
Zach Davis: Long live the Kings huh?
Dune shakes his head with a wry smile and tags in Howard Black, who shouts to the heavens. Joey musters up a bit of strength and tags in Zmac, who darts towards Black and clotheslines him. Black straight back up. Clothesline. Back up, Black dodges but Zmac grabs him and plants him with a side slam. He quickly bolts up the turnbuckle and lands a flying fist straight to Black’s chest. He covers…
He lifts Black up who starts to land a couple of headbutt, but ZMac responds with a couple of his own. They then trade several lefts and rights, not one of them budging an inch. They then run in opposite directions and, in the middle of the ring, they BOTH attempt a flying headbutt, and their skulls collide with a nauseating thud. They are instantaneously knocked unconscious and lay face down in the ring.
Freddy Whoa: Like two triceratops, Zmac and Black collide headfirst!!
Zach Davis: What a collision. Could we see a double countout here?!
Gravedigger: Yeah, what a….hollow...thud that was
The referee begins to count
The two men begin to stir holding their heads like a fuckbastard hangover. They try to get to their feet but they get that same feeling, you know when you’re in a bar and you’ve had loads of cocktails and beers, you feel alright sat down but oh my good god almighty the horror when you stand up. Anyway, they slowly crawl over to their corners…
They just about manage to get their tags in and Beckman and Dune take to the ring!!
Zach Davis: it’s finally here, the World Champion Natural ICE Beckman against the number one contender Dune.
Gravedigger: Yep this is some great shit right here.
Dune avoids any semantics and blasts Beckman to the canvas with a clothesline.
Freddy Whoa: Well I guess that stops any-
Dune isn’t done and steps toward Beckman more slamming ICE over and over with powerful punches, one two three land, a fourth lands then Dune rears back and collapses his head onto Beckman’s with a massive headbutt that at first makes the champion simply stagger back...then he crumples into the ropes shielding his ears in pain. Dune follows up with a big boot to Beckman that sends him flying out of the ring.
Zach Davis: Dune dominating right now.
Joey Flash hops over the top rope, Dune goes for a clothesline...ducked by Flash who bounces off the ropes, he ducks ANOTHER clothesline then slides in next to Dune with a massive uppercut that sends Dune reeling against the ropes where Zombie McMorris is waiting to send Dune to the outside.
Gravedigger: Great plan by Flash...if they can get rid of Dune…
Occulo looks like a tethered dog salivating with unrelenting bloodlust at his corner. He darts around the ring and knocks Zmac to the outside, he jumps up on to the turnbuckle and lands a subliminal message on Zmac’s skull!! Dune bounces off the ropes and grabs hold of Flash’s neck, sending him to the mat with a neckbreaker. Flash rolls out of the ring just as ICE Beckman slides back in.
Zach Davis: The World Champion is back in the ring.
Dune moves in to lock up with Beckman, but is met with a kick to the gut. He pulls Dune closer and sets him up for either a piledriver or powerbomb. Beckman lifts Dune up, sending him crashing to the mat.
Gravedigger: There it is! World Champion in full effect!
ICE taunts to the crowd as he goes back over to pick Dune up but Dune shoves him away before kicking him in the gut and connecting with a delayed DDT.
Zach Davis: HourGlass! Could the sands of time be running out for ICE Beckman?
Fredy Whoa: And kick out by the champ.
Both men get to the feet at the same time as Dune pops the World Champion in the face. ICE staggers back as Dune charges and pushes him into the Sentinel corner.
Zach Davis: Howard Black is in.
Black and Dune power whip ICE into his corner as ZMAC makes the blind tag. The Sentinals rush the corner for a double clothesline but get taken out flying crossbody from ZMAC.
Freddy Whoa: And ZMAC is back in the ring!
ZMAC pops back up to his feet and takes out a vile of cocaine.
Gravedigger: Yah! Shit yah! Things are about to get interesting.
Dune rolls out of the ring as ZMAC picks up Black and beats him half to death with a series of face and body shots. ZMAC stomps a mudhole into Black before whiping him into the adjacent turnbuckle. ZMAC charges after Black but Black shoulder Bumps ZMAC up and over the ropes and onto the apron. Occulo hits a running clothesline and ZMAC is out onto the floor. Black and Occulo celebrate for a moment as ZMAC pops back to his feet and slides into the ring. ZMAC spins Black around and hits him with FALCON PUNCH
ZMAC makes the cover.
Zach Davis: Black kicks out of the falcon punch!
Freddy Whoa: ZMAC tags in Flash.
Gravedigger: Its occulo for Black.
Occulo and Flash clash in the middle of the ring and jockey for position with a lock up but Occulo goes behind for a german suplex and connects. Flash lands hard on his head as Occulo taunts him.
Occulo: Now THATS a German Suplex.
Flash gets to his feet but eats a subliminal message.
Crowd: Sen-ti-nels. Sen-ti-nels!
Zach Davis: Its like these guys are just playing games with each other.
Gravedigger: Occulo signals for Dune as the fans are going crazy!
Tag! Dunes back in!
Tag! ICE is back in!
Dune charges ICE but gets taken down with a headlock. Dune gets to his feet and elbows out of it and headbutts the champ down. He goes to pick up ICE but ICE counters with a roll up.
NOOO!! Dune kicks out.
Both men get to their feet but Dune is able to take advantage.
Zach Davis: The Burrower.
Broken up by ZMAC.
Dune argues with the rest over ZMACs interfearance, allowing ICE to recover.
Gravedigger: ICE setting up Dune. Hes stalking him.. Dune Turns around.
Freddy Whoa: The Beer Bong!
Zach Davis: Howard Black breaks up the pin. Zack Davis: This is turning into a real mess. This match never had any structure to start with.
Flash and ZMAC hit the ring and another brawl ensues.
Gravedigger: This is what happens when all three members of each team absolutely hate each other. They kill each other. They say screw the rules- go get them body bags!
ICE gets to his feet and starts helping out the Vapor Kingz. It becomes a three on two as Occulo and Black cant stand the punishment.
Freddy Whoa: Its Dune turn to Stalk ICE. Dunes waiting for ICE to turn around..
ZMAC and Flash slide out of the the ring and follow the Sentinals to the floor as they continue to brawl on the outside.
Zach Davis: Sandstorm!
Gravedigger: Buddy Roman pulls the Ref out of the ring.
The ref starts to argue with Roman but Roman keeps repeting that he fell.
Zach Davis: Dune clearly doesnt like that.
Dune walks over to the ropes and yanks Roman up on the apron by his tie and starts yelling at him. ICE comes from behind and peels Dune off and locks him in the Cocktail Crossface !
Gravdigger: Can he do it? ICE Beckman looking to tap out the number one contender!
Dune struggles to make it to the ropes but ICE has it locked on tight. Occulo tries to make the save but Flash slides in from the other side of the ring and goes for a Spear!
Freddy Whoa: No! Occulo sidesteps it... Flash spears the ref!
The ref goes down in a heap.
Zach Davis: Dune is reaching for the ropes. Dune is struggling. He's trying with everything he has.
Sensing that Dune won't tap out and that the ref is out, Beckman rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair.
Gravedigger: The Imperium team is looking to end this by any means necessary.
Beckman slides back in and grins as Dune fights to his feet. Beckman takes a swing!
Freddy Whoa: DUNE DUCKS IT!
Dune ducks it and grabs the chair from the World Champion! Beckman quickly goes to Clothesline Dune but Dune ducks that.
Zach Davis: BOOM! CHAIRSHOT TO ICE BECKMAN!
Dune connects with the chair to the head of the World Champion!
DING DING DING.
The ref awakened just in time to see Dune swing the chair. Dune looks around for a few moments before realizing what has happened. He curses and throws the chair down in anger.
Kyle Steel: Your winners, by disqualification... IMPERIUM!
Flash and McMorris pull Beckman out of the ring. Beckman, recovering from the chair shot, has enough presence of mind to grab his World Title. He's yelling to Dune that this isn't over... and Dune obviously agrees.
Zach Davis: We're not sure when we're gonna get it, but the Dune versus Beckman rivalry is heating up!
Freddy Whoa: And Dune proved tonight that he will not tap out. Beckman didn't beat him. Has the World Champ met his match?
Mod is sitting inside of his locker room, with a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon underneath one arm, and a PBR occupying the other hand. It is obvious that he is inebriated, as the door opens up, and in comes Logan and Katherine Phoenix?
Mod: I need to stop drinking. I'm starting to hallucinate...
"Logan": Un tipo nos pagó veinte pesos de estar aquí esta noche.
Mod: Wow! You work for cheap! Dude, where's Kat's teeth?
"Logan": Chut Up! Trashcan Boutle!
Mod: It's "BOUDLE"! YOU BOUDLE!
"Logan": Yo no hablo Inglés , Boutle.
Mod: YOU'RE THE BOUDLE!
"Kat": ¿Qué es un "boudle"?
Mod: See? She can say it, and her teeth are fucked up! Can you guys even wrestle? ¿te Lucha libre?
"Logan": ¡Sí! He luchado en tres partidos cuando tenía dieciocho años!
Mod: And when was that? Forty years ago? Just get out.
"Logan": Qué está diciendo?
Mod GRABS "Logan" by the ear, dragging him to the door as "Logan" struggles in a futile effort to free himself from the grasp of Mod. Mod then opens the door, and unceremoniously tosses him out of his door, into the opposing hallway wall, before grabbing "Kat" and shoving her into "Logan", as she falls over him. Mod slams the door, as both "Logan" and "Kat" get up, as Logan says...
"Logan": Esto ya es el más duro de veinte dólares americanos que he tenido que trabajar.
"Kat": Es casi terminado. Sólo espero que el hombre gigante no nos mata!
Kyle Steel: The next match is a quarter finals match for the Trio’s Championship Tournament. Introducing first. From LA California, weighing in at 245 lbs. TORTURE!
Gravedigger: This former world champion has new gold on his mind. After getting a second chance at this tournament with his partner last week Isaiah Chavis… Speaking of…
Torture stands at the entrance ramp and waits for his partners.
Kyle Steel: Now coming to the ring, he hails from Detroit Michigan. Weighing at two hundred and fifteen pounds, the Juggalo Warrior, Isaiah Chavis!
“Whoop Whoop” by Twiztid plays as Chavis makes his way out to the entrance ramp. He stands next to Torture who eggs him on to start walking down the entrance ramp.
Gravedigger: After Chavis defeated Chelsea Armstrong many thought he might step away for a while. But when this Trios opportunity came along he jumped right on the bandwagon. Chavis is here, folks, and he’s here to stay.
Kyle Steel: And their partner, from Madison Wisconsin. Weighing in at 220 lbs. MARC MAYHEM
“If I had a heart” by Fever Ray hits the PA and Marc Mayhem gets out to the entrance ramp. He sees his team halfway down the ramp and saunters down behind them.
Gravedigger: Marc Mayhem is one of my favorite wrestlers here in the WCF. Mayhem however is a scary mother fucker. Look at his eyes. There’s something dastardly in there. Don’t fuck with Mayhem.
Torture and Chavis get into the ring first followed shortly by Mayhem. The three men stand in the center of the ring waiting for Pantheon to arrive.
The Mysterious Pantheon Theme plays as Scarecrow, Richards, and Price make their way to the ring.
Kyle Steel: And their opponenets, weighing in at a combined 843 lbs… Earth’s Mightiest Wrstling Stable… JASON PRICE… THE PEOPLE’S CHAMPION SCARECROW… THE INTERNET CHAMPION ALEX RICHARDS… PANTHEON!
The crowd goes nuts as they walk down the aisle and into the ring.
Mayhem tells torture that he’s gonna start. Torture completely ignores him and stands tall in his corner of the ring. Chavis, the one with a bit more experience with the monster, convinces Marc to step back and let Torture start the match.
Zach Davis: Chavis knows what’s up; If Torture wants to start he starts.
Gravedigger: Meanwhile on the other side of the ring Pantheon is having some sort of elaborate rock paper scissor tournament. It appears to be best of three with double elimination rules.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! Alex Richards just dropped the nuclear Bomb on them which of course burns all three to a crisp. Scarecrow and Jason price step out of the ring as Richards stands on his side of the ring looking at the monster Torture.
The bell rings and the match begin. Immediately Marc Mayhem reaches over the top rope and tags himself in. Torture does not look happy. Mayhem leaps over the top rope and dives towards Richards who gets hit with a clothesline by Mayhem.
Richards gets up quickly as Mayhem bounces off the other side and strikes with another clothesline. He starts pumping his fists up and down in the air like a late warrior that we all knew and loved.
Zach Davis: Mayhem is pumped up for this match.
Gravedigger: Richards is slowly getting back up.
Mayhem runs off the ropes near his side. Torture lifts a hamhock and clocks Mayhem in the back of the head.
Freddy Whoa: That’s a tag!
Torture climbs over the top rope and marches towards Richards. Alex does a finger point to torture telling him to bring it. He immediately regrets the decision as Torture delivers a big boot to Richards’ head sending him down. Torture drops down and goes for the pin.
But Price and Crow are both in the ring. Torture starts to lift up Richards and stares down the two men who slowly get back to their appropriate side of the ropes. As soon as torture turns around with Richards both Crow and Price get back into the ring and take down Torture. The referee starts his five count to get the illegal men out of the ring.
Zach Davis: I thought Pantheon were supposed to be the good guys.
Gravedigger: They have a five count to do pretty much whatever they want. They’re taking full advantage of it.
They lift up torture and toss him into the ropes. Price and Crow deliver a double clothesline and Richards hits a seated senton as the boys get back out of the ring by the count of 4. Richards then goes for a pin.
Torture kicks out and starts to roll to his side of the ring. Richards grabs hold to the big man’s leg and pulls him towards his corner while tagging in Scarecrow.
Gravedigger: Torture isn’t going down that easy, but now they have him right where they want him. Torture is out of practice as far as wrestling goes. Pantheon is doing the smart thing by targeting him.
Crow delivers some reverse knife edge chops then backs up a step. He runs forward with a shining wizard and follows it up with a bulldog. Still feeling that they need to do some more damage he drags Torture back into their corner and tags in Price.
Price stomps on the downed man the referee pulls Price off as Torture seats himself in the corner. Price pushes the referee out of the way and delivers a dropkick to the seated Torture. Then he drops down and goes for the pin.
Torture barely kicks out as Price tags in Richards.
Gravedigger: Pantheon has this match in the palms of their hands. All they have to do is figure out a way to finish this guy off.
Richards reaches down to lift up Torture but a massive hand instead wraps around Richards’ throat. Torture slowly gets to his feet while never letting go of the hold. Scarecrow rushes into the ring and he is met by another massive hand around his throat. Torture delivers a double chokeslam to both Crow and Richards and as he rises back to standing position is met with a Superkick from Jason Price.
Gravedigger: Chokeslam into a Price Check. What a devastating combination and there are three men down.
Chavis reaches over the top rope reaching for a tag from Torture who slowly crawls over. Price does the same on his side. Price gets the tag at the same time as Chavis. Chavis and Price run towards each other as Isaiah hits a Japanese arm drag. Then he runs to the ropes and hits a springboard back elbow. Price gets to his feet and Chavis hits a hurricanrana on Price sending him hard to the floor. He quickly goes for the pin.
Chavis pounds on the mat and then quickly starts to climb to the top rope.
Gravedigger: He’s going for the Jester Drop… that incredible 450 splash.
He gets to the top as Scarecrow gets back to his feet and comes running towards. Chavis jumps over scarecrow and lands on his feet behind him. Then he hits a Pele Kick on Crow that sends him reeling and into the corner. He goes running towards the corner to deliver a dropkick to scarecrow but he is caught in powerbomb position by Crow. Scarecrow runs forward and throws him into the corner with a powerbomb.
The bell rings.
Gravedigger: What just happened?
Zach Davis: Marc Mayhem pinned Jason Price… but how?
Freddy Whoa: Nah Nah, that ain’t what happened. Price pinned Mayhem. Let’s hit up that replay.
As Chavis is in powerbomb position. Marc Mayhem reaches up and tags him right before Scarecrow rushes forward. He gets into the ring and kicks the slowly rising Jason Price in the gut. He hits “Lights Out” Gutwrench powerbomb and drops down for the pin.
Then outta nowhere Alex Richards his Zim Quila Hangover and drags Price over Mayhem.
Gravedigger: So there we have it. Pantheon shows that great teamwork can overcome all adversity. Just when it looked like there was nothing left for Pantheon a member saves the day. This is maybe the best team left in the tournament. I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re looking at our first ever Trio’s Champions right there in the middle of the ring, folks. As much as I hate to say it.
Gemini Battle is seen sitting in the backstage area watching a television. Sons of Anarchy is running a special of the Series’ most brutal scenes. Gemini watches stuff like this to keep his ferocity ire up. He’s got his hands on his head rubbing his fingers through his hair. Not because of the outcome of his match, but because of the reactions the fans have been giving him. He begins talking to himself.
Gemini Battle: How do I prove to them that I am to be feared and hated, not loved and admired? I am no role model. I am not stand up man. I am not an individual to be replicated. I am an evil and sadistic individual that wants nothing but the best for himself. How do I get this point across?
He looks at the screen and sees one biker burning a tattoo off the back of another one who is no longer in the gang. Then the scene changes to two women fighting, and one gets her head shoved into the sink and she gets stabbed in the back of the head repeatedly by a turkey fork.
Gemini Battle: EUREKA! What better way to prove that I’m evil than joining an evil gang bikers who do nothing but cause chaos and bedlam everywhere they go. Outlaw Biker Gangs are responsible for the entire Crystal Meth ring on Long Island. They are feared by even the most evil of people including the MS13, Bloods and Crips.
He reaches his hand into his pocket and pulls out a card. He smiles his maniacal smile and walks off. He makes his way to a door and stops. He puts his hand up to knock then stalls. The camera pans up to look over his shoulder and the Logo of the DRG is seen.
Gemini Battle: These are DEFINITELY the most evil people in the WCF today.
He knocks on the door and the massive form of Thomas Bates opens the door, beer in hand.
Thomas Bates: Gemini, so good to see you! To what do I owe the pleasure.
Gemini Battle: You still interested in a fourth member for your gang?
Thomas Bates: Well you would be number 6… well 7 if you count Deuce which I do, and it’s a club not a gang. But of course you’re more than welcome to patch in.
Gemini Battle: Shut up, and let me in. By the way, I’m the new president of the chapter.
Thomas Bates: Right (sarcastically)
Gemini pushes past Bates and enters the room full of Danny Anderson, Caraid, Mikey Extreme, and Deuce Murdock. Bates shrugs it off and closes the door, but not before you hear the group cheer and holler and Gemini say.
Gemini Battle: Alright boys, your new boss is here! Let’s get weird!
Hank Brown is walking down a hallway, backstage of the Arena Mexico. Mr. Brown acknowledges a few people, as he passes by them.
Hank Brown: Hey, how ya doing? It's gonna be a great Slam tonight!!
Hank continues to walk down the corridor, but trips briefly over his own feet, while looking at his watch....
Hank Brown: OOF!! HEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.....
Hank gets yanked, pulled into a room, but looks more like a janitor's closet. There's screaming, yelling, loud smacking and numerous slams against the door. A couple of slams against the door, causes the door to crack and splinter. Several people walk past the janitor closet, looking confused at the unusual, horrific sounds, coming from behind the closet. Electric humming sounds echo out, as Hank screams out a horrific yelp, frantic screams for mercy.
A random person tries to open the door, but the door is locked. The random person knocks on the door.
Random person: Does anyone need help?
Hank Brown: YE-.... (muffled screams)
Marc Mayhem: NO!!! GO AWAY!!!
Johnny Reb: THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU!!!
Oblivion: GO AWAY OR YOU TOO WILL EXPERIENCE THIS AS WELL!! GO AWAY!!!
Hank Brown: NOOOOOOoooooooooooooo....
The janitor's closet door shakes as it is assumed that Hank Brown got slammed against the door. The door splits where Hank's head made contact with the door. After several minutes of continues mechanical whirring and screaming, the closet door opens. Hank Brown stumbles out, with a hack job of a hair cut and his face is made up with make up to look like a poor man's Gemini Battle. Heavy amount of smoke seeps out of the closet, several sounds of coughing and laughing is heard. Hank is severely dazed and confused, as he stands with bloodshot eyes and coughs continuously.
Hank wobbles back and forth as he stands there with a glazed expression across his face. There is a paper sign tied with string, around the neck of Hank Brown. The small signs says in red sticky lettering.....
THE MONSTER OBLIVION IS BACK!!
Hank Brown collapses against the wall, laughing, screaming and crying at the same time. Thunderous laughter is heard....
Oblivion: THE MONSTER IS BACK BITCHEEEEEESS!!
"I CAN'T STOP-OP-OP-OP-OP-OP..."
Gravedigger: MAIN EVENT TIME!!!
The lights dim as "Who Gon Stop Me" by Kanye West & Jay-Z plays over the PA. A pink strobe light flashes rapidly throughout the arena-- pink lasers swirl around the entranceway and eventually converge into a big pink spotlight, as "The Mack" Steve Orbit steps out onto the stage. Orbit's wearing a long mink over his ring gear, which consists of alligator skin wrestling shorts and matching boots. He's also got his pink hat with a feather, a thick gold chain with a diamond-coated Jesus peice, and a jewel encrusted cane. Orbit struts towards the ring, ignoring the boos from the crowd.
Kyle Steel: Introducing the opposing team... first, from Oakland, California... weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds... "THE MACK"... STEVE ORBIT!
Zach Davis: Steve Orbit making his way to the ring, with his fellow team members following shortly.
Freddy Whoa: The real story here is the opposing team, and the treachery of Logan.
Gravedigger: Well, Mod was warned, but he didn't pay attention. And now he's paying the price for that.
Zach Davis: Paying the price? This is a goddamn execution!
At ringside, he removes his hat and coat, and kisses the cross on his chain before handing it to a ring hand. Upon entering the ring, he climbs one of the turnbuckles and gyrates his hips. "OR-BIT SUCKS" chants can be heard throughout the arena. He climbs down from the turnbuckle and waits for the match to start.
"Pursuit of Honor" by Battlecross begins, with the melodic guitar flowing through the arena, getting the crowd pumped up. As this goes on, the lights fade to nothing until "Push Pull Destroy" also by Battlecross kicks in, where red and white lights circle throughout the arena. Once the thrash blast beat hits, a spotlight illuminates the stage and there stands Corey Black wearing a black hoodie over his ring gear.
Kyle Steel: Next, from his residence in Denmark, The Dethfort... weighing two hundred and twelve pounds... THE KING OF ALL WRESTLERS... COREY BLACK!
Gravedigger: We might see a Burning Hammer before the night is over.
Freddy Whoa: You think Corey Black can do that to Mod Deuce?
Zach Davis: I don't see why not. Corey Black does have a leverage advantage when it comes to the mechanics of the move on Mod. We may find out tonight.
The lights continue as Corey walks down to the ring, bobbing his head to the music. He slides into the ring under the bottom rope, stands to his feet and throws up the devil horns before taking the hoodie off and dropping it to the floor. He then poses with his right arm up and bent slightly almost in a vertical flex, left hand on his elbow.
Zach Davis: And the crowd goes quiet, awaiting the arrival of Jonny Fly...
The lights in the arena fade out. After a few suspense filled seconds the words ‘The Dynasty’ appear in bold italic lettering on the jumbotron as the beginning of “300 Violin Orchestra” begins to play. A single spotlight turns on and illuminates the silhouette of a man standing on the stage. As the song begins to speed up, the lights come on revealing Jonny Fly.
Kyle Steel: And their partner, from New York City... weighing two hundred and thirty pounds... THE DYNASTY... JONNY FLY!
Fly stands on the stage with his eyes directly fixed on the ring. The jumbotron changes to the words ‘This is the Era of Jonny Fly.’ The music slows down and a barrage of fireworks begins to go off behind Fly. His eyes remain fixed on his opponent throughout. Slowly and deliberately he begins to make his way toward the ring. The music picks up one last time and Fly stops at the bottom of the ramp with his eyes still directly fixed on the ring. He stops and takes a few moment to exchange a long stare with his opponent before finally sliding into the ring.
Zach Davis: And now we await the arrival of Mod Deuce. You got to feel a bit of sympathy for this rookie...
Freddy Whoa: Well, I'll tell you, he is not in an enviable position. God knows how many careers have been ended by the three of them.
Gravedigger: Well, its time to see if this kid REALLY has what it takes. Sink or swim time!
"Angel of War" by Burning Black begins to play, as Mod Deuce comes out on to the stage, looking upwards as he does.
Kyle Steel: On his way to the ring, from Detroit, Michigan! He weighs in at 391 pounds, and stands 6'9"! He is Mod DEUCE!!!
Mod holds his hands out for the fans to touch as he passes at a casual pace down the aisles to the ring, as Gravedigger says...
Gravedigger: That's right. You better pray to your God!
As he gets to the ring stairs, he walks up them, his arms still outstretched, before getting into the ring, stepping over the top rope with his arms still outstretched. He then drops them, as a resounding "BOOM" can be heard and felt, but no pyro or smoke can be seen. Mod then finds a corner, as he looks across at his opponents, as the slow march of a drum roll hits the speakers carrying into "Treachery" by Bleach...
Zach Davis: WHAT!?
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! SWERVE!
Gravedigger: What is this? Bush League psych-out stuff?
All of a sudden, "Logan" and "Kat" come out to the ring, as a caricature of both characters come out to the ring. Both are walking hand in hand, as they get to the ring and prance around inside of it, much to the chagrin of the real wrestlers inside of the ring. As "Treachery" ends, both "Logan" and "Kat" go to Mod, who point at the corner of the opposition, while Fly, Orbit, and Black figure out who's going first...
Zach Davis: And both Logan and Kat are stepping out of the ring, leaving Mod...
Gravedigger: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE EQUATE THOSE TWO ASSHOLES WITH THOSE TWO OTHER ASSHOLES!
Freddy Whoa: Looks like Jonny Fly is starting this off for the team of Two and a Half Black Guys!
Jonny comes up and faces off against Mod, and Jonny starts firing away with lefts and rights, as Mod brings down one chop on Fly, sending him back into his own corner with the force of the blow. Jonny shakes off the shot, hits the ropes, and fakes an attack on Mod, rolling past him, before coming up behind him with a reverse waistlock. Mod counters the waistlock by sitting down, but Fly releases the waistlock, as Mod hits the ground. Jonny Fly then scores several stomps on Mod, before scoring a DDT!
Zach Davis: COVER!!!
And Jonny Fly goes flying off of the top of Mod, as he begins to recover. Jonny Fly hits the ropes, and tries to score a kneelift, but is instead lifted up by Mod, as he hits a single-handed chokeslam on Fly, followed by a big splash! Referee makes the count...
Zach Davis: Pin attempt on Fly! Only a one-count...
Freddy Whoa: Gonna take a whole lot more than that!
Mod picks Jonny up, and hits a gutwrench suplex on Fly, before picking him back up and slinging him into his own corner, where "Logan" and "Kat" stand, as they start mocking Fly. Mod charges in, and collides with EVERYBODY on the corner, as he hits a running avalanche on Jonny Fly!
Gravedigger: HOLY SHIT! FAKE KATHERINE PHOENIX GOT HIT SO HARD, SHE'S IN THE CROWD!
Freddy Whoa: Fake Logan is down! Holding his ribs!
Zach Davis: And Mod scores a hip toss on Fly out of the corner! Mod goes for a leg drop...
Freddy Whoa: NOTHING BUT AIR!
Jonny Fly rolls to his corner, as Mod recovers from his miss, tagging in Steve Orbit, who comes in firing away on the big man, before hitting the ropes and coming off with a forearm smash to the face! Mod is staggered, bounces off the ropes slowly, as he gets caught in the face with...
Freddy Whoa: CRANE KICK!
However, Mod keeps his feet, as Steve looks baffled! Steve sets up, and hits Mod with the Crane Kick AGAIN, to the same effect. Mod just roars, before running Steve over with a clothesline, and follows up with a legdrop! Mod then picks up Orbit, and hits a butterfly suplex, before placing a foot on top of Orbit's body, as Mod looks at his opponents...
Gravedigger: Gotta hook the leg!
Mod immediately drops a leg on top of Orbit, before putting his foot on top of his chest again for a count. The referee goes to make the count, only for Orbit to trip Mod, as he come crashing down onto the mat, face first! Orbit is back on his feet, as he has an ankle lock applied to Mod!
Zach Davis: Orbit reverses the pinfall into an ankle lock!
Freddy Whoa: That should knock Mod down a peg or two for the laziness!
Gravedigger: That's right! HOOK THE LEG!
Mod pulls himself to the ropes easier than most, and gets the break from the referee. Orbit doesn't let go, and initiates a count from the referee...
Orbit breaks the hold, then grabs the leg, and drops an elbow into it once, twice, before hitting a leg drop, wrapping Mod's legs up after the blow. Mod grabs the ropes again, and again, Orbit maintains the hold. The referee starts to count, but Mod reaches over, and slams a fist into the face of Orbit, prompting him to break the hold...
Zach Davis: Orbit on his feet, as he continues to chip away at Mod.
Gravedigger: That is just sick! Look over at Fake Logan and Fake Kat!
Freddy Whoa: Eww! Pants Hot Dots?
Mod is back to a vertical position, as Orbit still hammers away. Orbit goes for an Irish Whip, but its reversed by Mod, as Orbit finds himself in enemy territory! Mod roars, as he hits an avalanche that once again sends his own "partners" off of the ring apron and into the guard rails...
Zach Davis: JESUS!
Gravedigger: Jesus can't help those two assholes...
Mod follows up with the avalanche, as he grabs Orbit around the throat by both hands, and lifting him up...
Zach Davis: DIVINE INTERVENTION!
Freddy Whoa: NO! Orbit kicks Mod in the face! Mod drops him! Quick tag to Corey Black!
Corey comes into the ring with a head of steam, and is met in the face with a big boot, followed by an elbow drop on Corey Black! Mod holds for the pinfall...
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! Two-count!
Gravedigger: Mod got lucky!
Black gets to proving it was luck, as he not only gets to his feet before Mod, but also is on the attack, as he hits Mod repeatedly in the ribs with elbow after elbow, driving Mod back into a corner, before setting him up for an Irish whip...
Zach Davis: And it's reversed!
Gravedigger: Why do all the small guys try to whip the biggest guys in the fed? Just... just... Ah!
Mod charges in, but instead catches nothing but turnbuckle! As Mod stumbles out of the corner, Corey Black gets underneath of the stumbling Mod, as an audible yell can be heard throughout the arena, as Corey Black has Mod over his shoulders, albeit a bit off-balance...
Gravedigger: No fucking way...
Zach Davis: Will he hit it?
Corey Black begins to buckle, as Mod gets his feet, and grabs Corey Black from behind, scoring a German suplex in the middle of the ring. Mod goes for the cover, but catches an elbow in the face before he can make a proper cover, which prompts Mod to chop down on the torso of Corey Black. Mod then drags Corey Black up to his feet, before being surprised with a headbutt from Corey Black, which sends Mod reeling into his corner. Before Corey can follow up on the attack, Fake Logan tags himself in!
Zach Davis: AND LOGAN IS INTO THIS MATCH FOR THE FIRST TIME! LOGAN CHARGING COREY BLACK...
Gravedigger: MJOLNIR'S WRATH! DONE, SON!!!
Corey Black, disoriented, tags in Orbit, as both Fly and Orbit go to opposite turnbuckles. Both ascend opposing turnbuckles, as they look first at Mod, who's still recovering outside of the ring, then to Fake Logan, who hasn't moved an inch. Fly takes off first, as he nails...
Zach Davis: FLY SWATTER!!!
Orbit takes off almost immediately after Fly lands. Fly barely clears Fake Logan, as Steve Orbit comes crashing down on Fake Logan with...
Freddy Whoa: OAKLAND SPLASH! ORBIT WITH THE PIN...
DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!
Kyle Steel: The winners of the match as the result of a pinfall... TWO AND A HALF BLACK MEN!!!
The three members of Two and a Half Black Men are celebrating, when Mod Deuce climbs into the ring. All three of them back away, as Mod retrieves Fake Logan, and picks him up off of the ground. Almost as soon as he's back on his feet, Mod grabs Fake Logan by the sides of his head, and lifts him up, as Fake Logan screams audibly for everyone in the nosebleed sections of the crowd to hear...
Fake Logan: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Fake Kat comes into the ring, and starts screaming at Mod, who releases Fake Logan with one hand, while keeping him suspended with his other hand, before Fake Logan drops to the mat, as Mod has something clinched in his hand. Fake Logan grabs the side of his head, while Two and a Half Black Men first exclaim at the sight of Mod ripping Fake Logan's ear off, before departing the ring.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK!
Zach Davis: OH MY GOD!
Gravedigger: AND HE STILL ISN'T DONE!!!
Mod picks up Fake Logan by the throat, before he hits Divine Intervention on him. Fake Kat is screaming for Mod to stop, as he continues to pummel the fuck out of Fake Logan! Fake Kat kicks Mod, who turns around, and grabs Fake Kat by the face!
Zach Davis: Mod, NO! MOD!!!
Gravedigger: DIVINE INTERVENTION ON FAKE KAT! FUCK THAT BITCH!
Zach Davis: Both of them are laid out side by side! AND MOD'S CLIMBING THE TURNBUCKLES!!!
Gravedigger: FLY, FATASS, FLY!!!
Freddy Whoa: FALL FROM GRACE!!!
Gravedigger: Cleanup on aisle 5! Bloodied and broken fake wrestlers need retrieval!
Zach Davis: What a bloody ending! I STILL cannot believe the carnage!
The camera cuts to a shot backstage of Natural ICE Beckman walking down the hall, WCF title slung over his shoulder.
Zach Davis: Natural ICE Beckman on his way to the ring. He is going to address the crowd to end the show!
Suddenly Isaiah Chavis rushes in from behind, and swings with his tightly wrapped barbed wired kendo stick. It clocks Beckman in the back of the head, sending him to the ground. Isaiah brings the stick down several times across his back, opening up deep gashes with the sharp barbs.
Isaiah Chavis: Who the fuck do you think you are, homie?! You think you can just jump a Juggalo and not feel the repercussions?! Motha fucka, you lucky I'm lettin' you live!
He hits Beckman a few more times, as rivers of blood run down his back. Isaiah then grabs the WCF title, and stands over ICE.
Isaiah Chavis: This is the only reason I'm lettin' you live, you hear me?! I'm takin' this thing from you fair and square, and when I do, there ain't gonna be no rematch. You'll be laid out in the hospital, just like your bitch.
Isaiah turns Beckman over, and crouches down, getting in his face with the belt.
Isaiah Chavis: You see this? This is mine. You better keep it nice and shiny for me, you got that? If it's scuffed when I get it, I'll personally travel to the hospital and finish the job on both of you!
Dune suddenly runs into the shot, and goes after Isaiah. Chavis drops the belt next to ICE and walks off down the hallway. Dune looks down at Beckman with an angry glare, before staring off down the hallway at Isaiah.
Zach Davis: A startling display from Isaiah Chavis, and it looks like the champ will not be joining us out here.
Gravedigger: Can you blame him? After what ICE did, I'm amazed he didn't kill him.
Freddy Whoa: Looks like Chavis pissed Dune off in the process. Maybe not the smartest move.
Zach Davis: Definitely not. Dune wants ICE, and he doesn't seem happy about Chavis involving himself. That's all for tonight folks! Join us next week on Slam! Who will head to the finals of the Trios Cup Tournament to become our FIRST EVER Trios Champions?
Slam fades to black as medics check on our World Champion.