The WCF Camera catches a scene occurring outside. A large van is backing up to an unloading area at the Arena. DRG associate Freakshow is driving, while other associate The Manager is riding shotgun. Two Mexican Federales approach.
Mexican Federales: Alto!
The Mexican Federales Officer approaches the van, towards the passenger side. The Manager rolls down his window.
Mexican Federales: Identificación.
The Manager smiles as he hands the officer an envelope.
The Manager: Estamos a nadie.
Mexican Federales: ¿Qué?
The Manager: Somos amigos, nuestros nombres no son importantes.
The officer finally looks in the envelope and smiles. He looks back to the Manager.
Mexican Federales: Son buenos, dejaron pasar.
The officer waves them forward, allowing the van to continue backing up. The back doors of the van open, revealing the members of the Dark Riders Gang, currently on the run in Mexico. Thomas Uriel Bates steps out, followed by Charles “Charlie” Anderson, Konstantin “Connor” Noskov, Danny Anderson, Mikey eXtreme, “Gonzo” Deuce Murdock, Gemini Battle, and Spencer Adams. The scene cuts back to the Commentary Table at ringside where Gravedigger, Freddy Whoa, and Zach Davis wait patiently for the feed to cut.
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! I didn’t think they could do it, but the Dark Riders Gang has arrived tonight at Slam!
Gravedigger: Damn Federales. Someone paid them good money to keep the Dark Riders Gang out.
Zach Davis: For any of you not aware, the Dark Riders Gang has been involved in reported illegal activities since their arrival in Mexico. Police Federales raided their camp and found a cache of weapons and drugs. Warrants have been issued for the arrest of every member of the Gang.
Gravedigger: I hope they get them soon enough.
Freddy Whoa: Wait, how are they going to wrestle tonight while we are surrounded by cops?
Gravedigger: They have already bribed one cop, who’s to say they won’t bribe another?
Zach Davis: Fans we have a treat for you here tonight. Not only are we one week away from Asesinato de Mayo, but we are one week away from crowning the first ever Rey de Mexico or for you non-Spanish speaking viewers, the King of Mexico. Last week we saw a brutal competition as Betty Adams won WCF’s first ever Extreme Pinata! We now see where Spencer Adams learned how to wrestle.
Freddy Whoa: Tonight is not going to disappoint either. According to Gravedigger this week’s competition is called Musical Sombreros.
“Change” by Deftones starts playing on the speakers.
Zach Davis: And speaking of Gravedigger, here he comes now…wait is he riding an animal?
Freddy Whoa: What the hell kinda animal is that?!
Gravedigger strides out onto the stage riding the saddle on some huge looking monstrosity. It’s about 6 feet tall and has spikes all over. It looks like half humanoid, half insanely large Chihuahua.
Zach Davis: I’m getting word from the back that this is a real live Chupacabra.
Freddy Whoa: I didn’t even think those were real!
Several members of MS-13 walk alongside it with whips, snapping them any time the Chupacabra gets distracted by the fans.
Freddy Whoa: In the ring the competitors are already in the ring and they all look terrified. WCF security is already stationed at ringside to keep them from escaping the ring.
Zach Davis: Can you blame them? I almost want to run away myself but Gravedigger made sure the security was stationed here at the commentator table, too. Last week we saw Dr. Benjamin Dover, Dude Davidson, and Whitey Houston eliminated from the competition. This leaves Billy, Taco de Genial, Mountain Dew Bob, Betty Adams, Joe Bronie, Bandito, and Johan von Richter.
The camera cuts back to the ring where the ring crew has temporarily removed the ropes long enough for Gravedigger and the Chupacabra to climb up into the ring. Gravedigger finally hops down as the ring crew puts the ropes back into place. The competitors look horrified and are yelling at Gravedigger as he is handed a microphone.
Gravedigger: So last week we saw Spencer Adams’ mom Betty win the Extreme Pinata competition. We also saw three people eliminated leaving seven of you for tonight’s competition. Only 3 of you will move onto the finals of the Rey de Mexico competition at this month’s PPV. Tonight you will participate in Musical Sombreros.
Gravedigger looks towards the back and does a signal with his hands. Slowly a steel cage lowers from the ceiling. The crowd and the competitors are going crazy, trying to figure out what is going on. Gravedigger has an evil, sadistic grin on his face as the cage finally connects with the ring apron, trapping the competitors in the ring with Gravedigger and the Chupacabra.
The door to the cage opens and a couple of members of MS-13 walk inside. One man carries a bunch of sombreros and a burlap sack. The other guy is dragging a really heavy looking bag that is leaking fluid on the mat. The Chupacabra’s ears perk up and it starts sniffing the air. Gravedigger points at the mat between him and the competitors. The sombreros are being set down in the center of the ring in a circle. Gravedigger lifts the mic once more.
Gravedigger: Ok so, this is how this game is going to work. We’re going to play music and you guys are going to dance around the ring with these maracas, shaking them. Before you do this each round of the competition, these awesome gentlemen will be placing goat steaks below all of the hats but one. When the music stops, you’ll all scramble and pick a hat. We will then go around and lift your hat. If there is a goat steak underneath it, you are safe and the Chupacabra will feast upon the steak. If you are the unlucky competitor, you will face the consequences for there not being a steak under your hat.
The competitors start fussing and complaining at Gravedigger and the Chupacabra snaps and they all start trying to climb the side of the cage. The members of MS-13 with the whips start snapping them at their fingers, making them all climb back down into the ring. Gravedigger gestures for the contestants to turn around and goat steaks are placed under the hats.
Mariachi band music starts playing on the loud speakers in the arena. Random fans start dancing as the competitors turn around and start shaking their maracas and dancing around the hats. Betty Adams appears to be an expert at shaking her groove thing while Billy looks as white as possible. Johan von Richter is doing some kind of crazy dance and almost gets his arm bitten off when he gets too close to the Chupacabra.
The music stops playing and everyone freezes for a second and then scrambles to claim a hat. They stand in front of it and Gravedigger leads the Chupacabra around the ring, letting the Chupacabra smell everything. It pisses on the cameraman, marking its territory. Gravedigger finally regains control of the demon spawn of Satan and they stop on Betty Adams’ hat. Her eyes grow wide as Gravedigger tells her to remove the hat. She lifts it up and breathes a sigh of relief when she sees the goat steak. The Chupacabra knocks her to the side and devours it quickly. Gravedigger is dragged around as the Chupacabra runs around the ring, happy. It finally stops and looks at Mountain Dew Bob’s hat. Bob slowly and carefully grabs the hat and lifts it up, also relieved to see the goat steak. The Chupacabra greedily eats it.
He immediately goes to the next person, Billy. Billy is shaking and terrified, but eventually grabs the hat and is also safe as his hat hides yet another scrumptious looking goat steak. Gravedigger and the Chupacabra stroll around the ring a couple of times until they stop at Bandito and his hat. He lifts the hat up confidently but nearly pisses himself when the crowd gasps and he sees nothing underneath. The Chupacabra looks at Gravedigger with a pitiful look. Bandito turns around and starts begging for compassion from Gravedigger in Spanish. Since Gravedigger is only half-Mexican, he only half understands this man and gestures to him. The Chupacabra leaps on him and mauls him. Everyone in the ring and in the stands starts panicking as the man starts shrieking in terror.
Members of MS-13 come into the ring with their whips and crack them several times until the Chupacabra backs off. EMTs enter the ring and lay the stretcher down beside Bandito’s mangled body. They lift up the nearby sombrero which was flattened in the Chupacabra attack. They escort the sombrero to the back to the confusion of Gravedigger. He shrugs and the MS-13 guys kick Bandito’s unconscious and possibly fatally wounded body to the side of the ring.
Gravedigger gestures and the competitors walk to the side and turn away from the hats. One of the MS-13 guys reaches under a random hat and removes the steak. This time Gasolina by Daddy Yankee starts playing and the competitors go all out, keeping their terrified looks glued to the Chupacabra. Gravedigger scratches it under the chin and makes googly faces at the “dog”. The music finally stops playing and everyone scrambles for their hat once more.
The Chupacabra springs into action and goes straight for Billy’s hat. After a few seconds of convincing plus a whip to the hindquarters, Billy finally reluctantly lifts his hat up…STEAK! The Chupacabra eats it in no time flat. He bounces around the ring, dragging Gravedigger off of his feet at one point until he finally stops on another competitor. This one is Johan von Richtor’s hat. Johan carefully reaches down and slowly lifts the hat….NO STEAK!
Before he can even scream, the Chupacabra is on top of him, mauling him. Gravedigger is yelling at the Chupacabra and pulls out a rolled up newspaper and smacks it on the nose. It finally calms down and Johan’s body is kicked to the side of the ring. The EMTs demand to get in the ring, but Gravedigger won’t allow their shenanigans in the ring again.
The competitors go to the side of the ring as the MS-13 member removes another goat steak and a sombrero. The music plays as the five competitors remaining start dancing around the ring. The Chupacabra rolls on its back in front of Gravedigger and he scratches its belly between the spikes. Its tongue lolls out and he kicks his feet. No one goes aww because it’s a demon spawn of satan beast. Finally it rolls over and jumps up as the music stops playing. The Chupacabra walks around the ring for a minute before stopping at Taco de Genial’s hat. Taco nervously bends down and pulls his hat up revealing a goat steak. The Chupacabra however is confused. He sniffs Taco de Genial and then the goat steak. It looks back at Gravedigger, and tilts his head like a dog does, confused at which one he should eat. Gravedigger points at the goat steak and finally grabs the Chupacabra’s massive head and rubs its nose in the goat steak. The Chupacabra finally relents and eats it instead of Taco de Genial.
The Chupacabra walks around the ring back and forth some more before finally deciding on Betty Adams’ hat. She lifts up the hat slowly and breathes another sigh of relief as a steak is found under her hat as well. The steak is gobbled up and the Chupacabra happily romps around the ring and finally stops at Mountain Dew Bob. Bob pulls out a pair of Mountain Dews, pops the tops and smashes them over head. He goes to guzzle them but the Chupacabra is taken by surprise by the Dews and takes Mountain Dew Bob out! Bob screams and spews Mountain Dew everywhere as he is mauled by the Chupacabra.
Gravedigger just shrugs and lets it happen. When the Chupacabra is finished and Bob is rolled to the side, Gravedigger reaches over and he laughs as he sees there was a steak under there. Everyone else lifts their hats and Billy faints when he realizes his hat didn’t have the steak. MS-13 members kick Billy in his junk and kidneys until he wakes up and they get him back on his feet. Betty, Billy, Taco, and Joe Bronie all turn around with their backs to the sombreros. They exchange nervous glances as they realize that there is only one more elimination.
The MS-13 member who was going around picking which steak to remove is waved over by Gravedigger who whispers something in his ear. The guy goes and picks one of the hats to remove the steak from. He stops and looks at Gravedigger who nods, with an evil grin on his face. The crowd boos loudly as the MS-13 member removes ALL the steaks from the hats. The music starts playing and the last four competitors start dancing around the ring, shaking their maracas. The music stops and they pick their hats one last time. Everyone is sweating as the Chupacabra and Gravedigger stroll around the ring. After about a minute, the Chupacabra stops and looks dead at Joe Bronie. Joe freezes and doesn’t want to remove his hat. Finally after a few whips to the junk and one to his left ankle, he relents and reaches down. He removes the hat and of course there’s NO STEAK. The Chupacabra mauls him as Billy faints. Betty Adams looks like she’s about to have a heart attack while Taco de Genial’s lettuce has wilted.
The bell sounds, signaling the end of the match as the cage slowly lifts up from the ring. Betty and Taco immediately bail from the ring and run up the ramp while Billy is still laying there unconscious from fainting. The ring crew removes the ring ropes as Gravedigger climbs atop the Chupacabra’s back once more. He leads it out of the ring and back up the ramp, waving at the crowd as if he’s in a parade. The crowd pops loudly as their hero and his demon pet exit to the back. The ring crew fixes the ring as members of MS-13 clear out the ring. A forklift is used to transport Billy to the back.
"Mysterious Pantheon Theme" hits the arena speakers to a sizable pop from the crowd. Corey Black, Alex Richards and Scarecrow walk out from the back and onto the stage.
Zach Davis: What's this? We weren't expecting an appearance from Pantheon tonight as only Alex Richards is scheduled to compete.
Freddy Whoa: Well they certainly aren't dressed to compete but they do look like they mean business.
Black, Richards and Crow head right from the ring, none of them with a particularly pleased happy expression on their face. Black looks to be in an exceptionally foul mood as his arm is in a sling following last weeks assault by Jayson Price.
Zach Davis: And there you see one of the prized elbows of Corey Black, broken at the hands of Jayson Price and a steel chair last week during our main event. That move cost Price, Richards and Crow the match and a chance to advance to the finals of the Trios Cup, which takes place next week at Asesinato De Mayo.
Freddy Whoa: And while Black, Jonny Fly and Steve Orbit will be in action against the Dark Riders Gang to determine the winners of the tournament and crown the first ever Trios Champions, one has to wonder how Black will be able to compete with such a big bullseye on him. There's no way any man can recover from a broken elbow in just 2 weeks.
Crow and Richards climb up onto the apron and then through the ropes as Black opts for the stairs before entering the ring. Black calls for a microphone and gets one from Kyle Steel.
Corey Black: One week from tonight I'm teaming with Jonny Fly and Steve Orbit to battle in the finals of the Trios Cup Tournament.
Pop from the crowd for Fly and Orbit. A "Hot Fries" chant starts up for some reason.
Corey Black: And right now I should be with Fly and Orbit, hanging out, eating some coffee cake and talking about how we're going to jobberkill the Dark Riders Gang. But instead I'm out here tonight because of this.
Black lowers the microphone and points to his injured arm, wincing as he tries to raise it a bit.
Corey Black: I'm out here tonight because they guy that did this to me last week, the same guy that is my supposed friend and Pantheon stablemate, decided to cut off all lines of communication after the match. And since he's not answering my phone calls or my texts or my tweets or anything else, I'm out here to call him to the ring so that maybe, just maybe, we can talk things out like grown ups.
Black lowers his microphone as he stares up at the stage. A bit of time passes and there isn't any motion from the back.
Corey Black: Come on Price, I don't have all night.
Again Black pauses but still no Price.
Corey Black: All right, last chance. You get your ass out here now so that we can talk things out and you can start getting your crap together. And if you don't, then you're out. I'm tired of dealing with this kid crap, Price.
Black tosses his microphone back to Steel as he, Crow and Richards watch the stage. Still no sign of Price and Black simply shakes his head in disgust. They go to leave when suddenly "Explosia" by Gojira hits the speakers. The crowd lets out a loud boo as Jayson Price walks out from the back. Price heads straight for the ring and rolls in under the bottom rope. He calls for a microphone and gets one.
Jayson Price: Really? You're giving me an ultimatum?
Black shakes his head yes.
Jayson Price: I'm sorry, my memory must be a little bit fuzzy because I remember smashing your elbow, not your skull. Who in the hell do you think you are giving me an ultimatum? Better yet, who do you think you are threatening to kick me out of Pantheon?
Black calls for a microphone and Kyle Steel throws him one. Price however bats it out of the air as he takes a step closer to Black. Richards and Crow step forward in Black's defense, but Corey tells them to wait.
Jayson Price: I know what you're going to say Corey. You're going to say that I've been a bad boy lately. That I'm not being a team player and that I've been doing things for myself only, not for the group. But the fact is Corey, I've been a team player. I've been working with Pantheon for the last few weeks in the Trios Tournament while you were off playing grab ass with Jonny Fly and Steve Orbit. I was actually helping this group while you were teaming with a guy that abandoned us when we needed the numbers more than ever and a guy that turned on us, joined the Vapor Kings and then tried to destroy us. But what, because now they suddenly have the same mother and are brothers they're cool? You want to call me out because I broke your arm? You should be thanking me for not doing more for associating with those two pieces of shit.
Crow retrieves Black's microphone and hands it to him.
Corey Black: I've already explained my decision to Richards and Crow. They get it. They understand it and they're fine with it. You're the only person that seems to think there's some kind of conspiracy against Pantheon going on because I decided I wanted to take Jonny Fly up on his invitation to hook up for Trios. What, have all those concussions and head injuries left you unable to process simple information? You're trying to find things that aren't there Price and I'm getting tired of you trying to justify slamming the same group that you're in just because you can't grasp that. So I'm telling you right now, get your shit together and start actually contributing to this team or you're out. I've already talked it over with Crow and Richards and Omega and Chelsea are in agreement as well. There needs to be a change and it's going to happen right here, right now. So choose.
Jayson Price: You want me to choose? Well I choose to stay in Pantheon, but without you.
Corey Black: Oh really?
Jayson Price: Yeah, really. Crow? Richards? You guys are actually going to stand there and tell me that you weren't just a bit annoyed at the fact that Black was associating himself with those two? Especially Orbit, what with his history with the group? Are you two honestly going to believe that Corey Black is looking out for the best interests of Pantheon when he'd rather join a team trying to beat us in a tournament than stay on the sidelines and help guide us to a win? Come on, tell me you two aren't that short sided?
Price looks to both Richards and Crow for support. They both shake their heads no as Price throws his hands up in the air.
Jayson Price: Fine, you want me to be a team player? I'll do it.
Price puts out his fist for a classic Pantheon fist bump. Black isn't feeling it.
Jayson Price: What? Come on, I know when I've been beaten. If Crow and Richards are sure that you're being honest, than maybe I am wrong. And how often have you ever heard me admit that I was wrong? So bump my fist and let's go drink some Diet Coke.
Black still isn't looking very pleased but he eventually shakes his head and bumps fists with Price. Crow and Richards nod in approval.
Jayson Price: You see, that wasn't-
Price quickly catches Black in the forehead with the end of microphone. There's a loud "THUD" over the speakers as Price goes for the injured arm, trying to rip it from the sling and take Black to the ground with an armbar.
Zach Davis: Oh my god! The broken arm of Black! He's trying to do even more damage!
Richards grabs Price from behind but Price shoves him off and goes back at the injured arm of Black. Scarecrow shoves Price off and to the mat, unloading on him with right hands. Black nurses his bad arm as Richards and Crow haul Price up to his feet. Crow pushes Price into Richards, who hits him with the Final Enlightenment. Richards then takes a step back as Crow stalks Price. Price tries to push himself up onto his hands and knees but Crow hits him with Roadkill.
Freddy Whoa: And a curb stomp from Scarecrow!
Price is laid out on the mat as Crow and Richards help Corey up to his feet. They want to leave but Black says no. He points to Price and then to the corners of the ring.
Zach Davis: We've seen this before and it's never ended well for the recipient. It's almost hard to watch.
Crow, Richards and Black head for the corners as Price starts to stir on the mat. He finally pushes himself up to his feet and looks around. Seeing what's coming, Price raises a middle finger to Black before all three come out of their corners and connect with a 3 Corners Superkick to the head of Price.
Zach Davis: OH MY GOD!
Price crumples to the mat as Black, Richards and Crow stand over him. "The Mysterious Pantheon Theme" hits as the crowd looks on stunned at the sight of Jayson Price literally kicked out of Pantheon. Slam goes to commercial as Black leads the rest of the group out of the ring.
The cameras cut backstage as we find K. L. Henson walking through the backstage corridor, he is eventually stopped by none other than Hank Brown who looks like he's ready to conduct an interview.
Hank Brown: Hello, Mr. Henson. Could you give us a few words on your match tonight against Professor Coach and Raymond Hatcher?
K. L. Henson: Sure...I am starting to think my opponents don't exist for I haven't seen any sign of them but I have been assured they do indeed exist. I call it Schrodinger's Opponent. But beyond that it is going to be an interesting experience and that is what I am looking forward to most. There is almost no way to predict what is going to happen next in this place and now that I am here, I have assured it ten fold, in fact...
Suddenly Hank Brown is grabbed around his shoulder and pulled away from K. L. Henson as Katherine Phoenix steps into the shot. Before throwing Hank away she grabs the microphone out of his hand as she looks the WCF newcomer up and down.
Katherine Phoenix: Sooooooooo you're the new Jobber Bear, huh? The one who thinks that I should just forget Logi Bear? The one who isn't helpful AT ALL and hasn't done a thing to try and help me find him? That the one? Yeah I recognise the stupid look on your face. You know it wouldn't surprise me at all if you were the one to hide Logi... you do that, try and get a name for yourself... annoy me... get yourself some attention from the peoples out there. Is that what you did? IS IT?!!
Katherine pushes a finger into the mans chest as she continues to be completely suspicious of him. Henson frowns as he looks down at her finger poking him, apparently not sure what it is he has done to deserve this accusation but then thinks it over and gains a smile to replace his frown.
K. L. Henson: Ooooh, that is actually quite an interesting idea! Something like that would definitely be up my alley...Though I am sure denying it now wouldn't do much to convince you. But I assure you, all I have done is try to comfort you. in fact! I am glad I found you! I feel as if there was a disconnection over twitter, you know how these things go. Text never does justice! Now, I can make it clear.
Henson turns Phoenix around and walks her down the hallway as the camera follows them.
K. L. Henson: You should look at this as an opportunity to grow! And besides, how long has it been since you have heard from Logan? Could be dead for all you know and won't you feel silly wasting all that time looking for him. Not like you can bring him back to life.
K. L. Henson stops in his tracks for a moment with a enthusiastic look of eureka, bringing his fist down into the palm of his other hand.
K. L. Henson: Yes! In fact I am sure of it! He is dead! So, there is nothing to worry about. If he is dead, he isn't suffering and you can move on. Isn't that good news?!
Henson gains a wide smile upon his face as he looks to Phoenix for a response. Katherine just scowls into the mans face as she tries her best to fight the desire to just attack him right here and now, eventually her scowls turn into a fairly large smile as she stares into his eyes.
Katherine Phoenix: You know, there's something about you that I like. I'm not sure what it is yet. Maybe it's the fact that you always see the bright side of things like this... maybe... MAYBE! it's the fact that good old JoJo Flash said that you were like a male version of me on twitter, did you see that? But yeah under different circumstances I'd say that we could be friends, we could become very good friends... maybe even the BESTEST of friends. But as it is, Logi Bear... MY Logi Bear, is still missing. For all I know some horrible little person back here could have done it to him and I can't have that. Someone is trying to wreck my happifulness and I can't allow that to happen. I don't like it when people do that it turns me reallyyyyyyyyyy grrrrrrrr!
Katherine grabs K. L. Henson by his collar and stares angrily into his eyes.
Katherine Phoenix: And if I find out that you are behind this, Jobber Bear... I will lose my happifulness and I will go super grrrrrrrr on you! You wouldn't want that, would you?
Henson visibly ponders for a moment before once again smiling, not bothering to pull from Phoenix's grip.
K. L. Henson: Well, if Logan didn't disappear then you wouldn't have made a friend today and so if I did do something with him, I'd have done the right thing as it caused good things to happen, right? At least that is how I keep hearing it works. Personally I just like finding out what people would do if I were to force them out of their comfort zone so it would still be the right thing to do...Oh, now I got myself confused whether I did it! This is a conundrum and in the presence of my new friend too, I don't get many of those...Let me see now, did I take Logan?
Henson ponders again for another moment.
K. L. Henson: No...I don't think so...but I will be sure to tell you if I remember doing so. This mind is not a steel trap you know...
A fairly big grin spreads across Katherines face as she finally lets go off the man she had in her grasp, pushing him away as she did so.
Katherine Phoenix: There seems to be a lot of Jobber Bears coming into this place who are actually quite funny. Seems you're one of them. I really hope you turn out to be innocent here, Sugar, cos I'd hate to have to hurt you... it'd really break my heart. Anywayyyyy good luck with your debut match, Jobber Bear... I've got some planning to do, spending the night with my BFF! I'm sure she'll be able to cheer me up at least.
Katherine nods to the newcomer as she continues walking down the corridor, K. L. Henson just shrugs as he walks off in the opposite direction.
We hear "Chariots of Fire" by Faith No More begins to play, after a few chords, we see Raymond Hatcher coming walking through the curtain, a big smile plastered across his face. He's wearing a black robe laced with gold trim underneath which are his simple black trunks, knee pads, boots and one elbow pad on his left arm, he also has his hands wrapped in black athletic tape. Hatcher panders to the crowd, none seem too happy about it, his expression seems much less than genuine.
Kyle Steel: Coming to the ring at 6 feet and 2 inches, hailing from…….236lbs…”The Real Deal” Raymond HATCHERRRRR!
Hatcher strolls down to the ring at a steady pace. He heads up the ring steps walking out onto the apron while looking out at the crowd. Hatcher gives a little wave, before wiping his feet on the apron and climbing through the ropes into the ring. With the big smirk still smeared across his face, Hatcher steps out to the middle of the ring and gives another half-hearted wave to the crowd. He then heads to his corner and begins disrobing.
“We are the Champions” by Queen plays on the P.A. system. Professor Coach comes out with mic in hand.
Professor Coach: Hello everyone! I am Professor Coach and I…
Mid way through his sentence, K. L. Henson comes running out from behind the curtain and knocks Coach to the ground.
Zach Davis: Henson getting started as soon as possible. Seems like he doesn’t want to wait!
Raymond rolls out of the ring and charges at them. But Henson quickly picks Coach up, grabbing him by the neck and trunks and throws him right into the gut of Raymond. Then hops over them both and rolls into the ring as they lay on the ground. Raymond gets up first and approaches the ring but Henson baseball slides to the outside. Raymond manages to dodge but Henson quickly follows up by tackling him against the ring apron in one swift movement.
Meanwhile, Professor Coach gets to his feet and hits Henson with a forearm from behind. Raymond, having not been knocked down by the tackle, joins Coach in attacking Henson, punching him back and forth between them like a human volleyball.
After a few times back and forth, Coach punches Henson, sending him stumbling towards Raymond. But as Hatcher attempts to punch Henson, Henson manages to sidestep and uses the momentum to trip him up and send him stumbling into Coach. Coach catches Raymond but they are both sent flying back with a dropkick from Henson. They both land in the corner against the guardrail.
Zach Davis: Oh! A hard collision against the rail!
Freddy Whoa: They better collect themselves quick because it looks like K. L. Henson is winding up for something!
Henson backs up a few steps then takes a running charge at the other two wrestlers resting against the railing. He jumps and balls up his body, crashing against them before rolling back into the ring.
Zach Davis: Henson seems to be dominating this match right out of the gate. If Coach or Hatcher plan to win this match, they better think of something quick and try to get the upper hand as soon as possible or it’s over.
Coach is the first to enter the ring but Henson starts stomping away before he is even done rolling in. But then Raymond quickly slides in and rolls up Henson with a school boy.
Henson hurries to his feet as Raymond tries to follow up with a charge. But, at last minute Henson reacts with a quick uppercut, knocking Raymond off his feet.
Freddy Whoa: Henson seems to be too quick to handle at the moment. But here comes Coach!
While Henson is turning away from Hatcher, Coach knocks him clean across the face with a running elbow, sending Henson to the ground while he grasps his chin.
Gravedigger: Coach is being smart right there. He has to play the speed game with Henson and attack him before he has time to react.
Coach taunts at the crowd as they assail him with boos for celebrating after one successful strike. But while distracted, Raymond Hatcher gets to his feet and hits Coach with a chopblock to the legs. Coach grips his knee in agony as Raymond stands next to his head and rolls through with a knee. At this point, Henson rolls out of the ring and as Raymond is taunting the crowd himself, he pulls Coach over the ring apron, having his upper half stick out. Henson takes a few steps back and with a running start, hits Coach with a flying knee to the side of the head. Causing him to flop out of the ring.
Raymond takes notices of this and walks over to the ropes. Henson goes to grab his legs but Ramond jumps back before he could be tripped up.
Zach Davis: The Real Deal starting to wise up to his opponent’s tactics.
Gravedigger: Have to keep your distance from that man, Henson seems to be a tricky person to pursue. Raymond has the high ground, if he is smart, he won’t give that up.
Henson shrugs and turns back to Coach and begins to kick away at his gut. Raymond takes advantage and quickly rolls out of the ring, grabs Henson from behind and tosses him against the ring apron before picking up Coach and rolls him into the ring then proceeds to cover him for the pin.
Freddy Whoa: Kick out at two! It is surprising that Coach has been taking the brunt of this beating but still manages to stay in this game.
Gravedigger: Yes, but Raymond still might when this match if he keeps taking opportunities like that. It is not about being the bigger hitter, it is about being the smartest player.
Zach Davis: That may be so but Raymond needs to work on taking care of loose ends because here comes Henson!
After getting to his feet, Raymond is knocked back down from a flying headbutt from Henson out of nowhere. Raymond bounces back up to his feet but Henson follows up with a hip toss then a quick elbow drop. Meanwhile Coach has slowly been crawling the turnbuckle to get to his feet. Henson charges at him but Coach manages to counter with a boot, sending Henson flying back and tripping over Raymond who was just getting onto his hands and knees. Coach approaches Henson and attempts to pick him up but Raymond catches Coach from behind and hits him with a half nelson back breaker.
Gravedigger: There it is again, Raymond showing that he is a proper Opportunist!
Freddy Whoa: And Coach not having the chance to show us his apparent genius.
Raymond pins Coach once again.
Zach Davis: Henson makes a leap and breaks up the pin!
Henson gets to his feet first and grabs Coach then throws him out of the ring before turning and staring down Raymond Hatcher, visibly irritated by the opportunist.
Zach Davis: Looks as if Henson is taking notice of the biggest threat in this match and looks like he has had enough of his scheming this match.
Henson walks over to Raymond and brings him to his feet. He whips Raymond into the ropes and knocks him with an elbow before doing it several times again. He picks up Raymond again. He turns him around and places the back of his neck against Henson’s shoulder then…
Zach Davis: Spinal Tap! That just might be it!
But before Henson could go for the cover, Coach enters and tries to hit him with a clothesline but Henson dodges and catches him from behind and hits him with a Spinal Tap. Then goes for the cover on Coach…
Kyle Steel: Your winner...K. L. HENSON!!!!!
Henson quickly rolls out of the ring and reaches out of the ring and pulls out a roll of quarter and Gorilla Glue before rolling back into the ring. He walks over to Coach and pins his arms down with his knees.
Zach Davis: What the hell is Henson doing?!
Henson dabs glue across Coaches chest and starts placing quarters. The camera gets a good view of his chest, showing a smile made of quarters as Henson audibly laughs for the camera to hear, saying “WCF! What a place to be!” before rolling out of the ring and walks up the ramp.
“ Maggie's Farm” By Rage Against The Machine, hits the PA system.
Zach Davis: Whose this? I'm not familiar with this music.
Buddy Roman walks out on stage with a mic in hand.
Gravedigger: Its Roman! Its Imperium!
Buddy Roman leads the group, flanked by Flash, ICE KAZ, ZMAC, Cairo and Odin. They all walk down the ramp and climb into the ring. They all line up as bangs the mic off his hand for a moment. The crowd is split between cheers and boo's. They cheer for the Poondocks and ICE but boo ZMAC, Odin and Flash.
Freddy Whoa: The crowd is split. You want to cheer for ICE and PDS but that damn Buddy Roman got his greasy fingers all up in the kool-aide.
Gravedigger: Its straight up jealousy! These men are a collection of the very best champions in recent memory.
Buddy Roman: Excuse me. But it would seem as though some of you are surprised. Surprised that the Dark Rider Gang went and swept the Imperium juggernaut from the sky and crashed it to earth like a PAC-Asain air flight. And any other day of the week, you'd be right. But You're wrong. You see, we already have the tag team and world title. We already have this company on lock. We are approaching a bigger prize than that of Trios. We are approaching Ultimate Showdown and that is the very event that can and will change the landscape of WCF as we know it.
Buddy clears his throat
Buddy Roman: As WE, know it. So with that said there is a unity among allies because lets face it; its all of those wretched scum against the pedigree and prestige that is Imperium.
Joey Flash steps up and takes the mic from Buddy Roman.
Joey Flash: Why, thank you, Roman. Imperium does in fact have all the pedigree and prestige because I am the one who founded, built, designed and crafted its brilliance. I am solely responsible for everything that you see in this ring before you tonight. And I have a personal message for Panteon, Dark Riders, the Sentials and whoeever else bak there that think that really have what it takes to upheave and remove Imperium from the forfront of WCF Dominance.
The camera zooms in close on Joey Flash.
Joey Flash: Fuck the lot of ya', ya' fooking twats.
Freddy Whoa: Whats a twat?
Zach Davis whispers somethin in Freddys ear.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! Can he say that?
Joey Flash: Yes, thats right. Each and everyone of you at home. T- A Double U AT's. And if somebody like Thomas Uriel Bates wants to get a big head over what he did last week, then put your fat ugly mug where your face should be and Joey Flash will gladly take that TV title off your hands and shove down your throat.
KazMonstuh reaches for the mic and Joey Flash hands it over to a huge pop from the crowd.
Kaz Mazy: And just like it would be an opportunity for Thomas Bates to lose that Television Championship to it's rightful owner Joey Flash, another member of the DRG has a similar oppurtunity at Asesinato De Mayo: Mikey eXtreme. Did ya like what I did to ya Mikey? When I struck that kendo over your head? And before you say anything of the such and the like...no, I didn't attack you out of fear. Rather, I laid waste to you in the center of that ring simply because I can. I enjoyed it Mikey.
You see, I look at a guy like Mikey eXtreme and I can't help but wonder. I don't wonder why he has a shot at MY United States Championship because Seth has proven time and time again that he'll give any two bit piece of shit a title shot he hasn't earned. No, I look at him and I wonder why at all? Why even try at all Mikey? You know it's going to end with another lackluster effort by the eXtreme one and I expose him as the rookie he is.
I know what you want, Mikey. You want me to praise you. You want to feel the KazMonstuh's love. You want to feel like one of the special ones.
Kaz shakes his head.
Kaz Mazy: How about fuck you, Mikey. The only love you're going to get from me is when I'm pushing your shit in at Asesinato de Mayo. Trust me, when that time comes and goes, you'll know all too well that I was taking it easy on you tonight.
ICE gets the mic from Kaz and hands his title to Buddy to hold while he addresses the masses.
ICE: The past few weeks I have listen to Dune spout off at the mouth like he might actually have a chance of taking my title from me and as I listen to him speak with such fury and rage I’ve begun to wonder what is really behind his big talk. I figure it is one of two things; first maybe the guy is trying to convince himself that he can actually hang in the World Title picture or second, the more likely scenario, he fears me and that is his way to cope with it! To hide himself behind a wall of anger so thick that he won’t have to deal with the harsh reality that is coming his way...
ICE stops and allows the crowd to inject with cheers and boos as they see fit.
ICE: And trust me Dune reality is coming at you hard and fast for next Sunday reality is the main course for you and it is going to taste like my fist and feel like my boot! And your big talk has only gained you one thing...and that is I hate hearing it, I hate making you famous...in short I Hate You! And in the end of the day we have all be witnesses to what happens to things I hate. So get excited Dune for you are about to have match of your career, I just hope you can enjoy while flat on your back!!
The Godfather of Professional Wrestling chimes in.
Robert Hercules Cairo-Roman: That's right my, nig-GUH-- DAS RITE!! Let me see that stick, ICE. And gimme my Worlds Title back while ya at it. Nah, jus playin, son.
Cairo accepts the mic from ICE and waxes poetic on that insightful Jew tip.
Robert Hercules Cairo-Roman: Long may they run. LONG MAY THOSE COWARDS IN THE BACK RUN AND HIDE FROM A BOB-FADDUH AND THIS IMPERIUM CREW! See, I don't think there's a man or WUH-MAN in the back with thick or poon enough to stand tall to this uberthick group of talent that you see before you right here. Pantheon? Dead and buried. Rubble under our feet. They shit the bit from the moment they saw Imperium join forces at Aftermath.
Cairo nods his head in affirmation as his teammates do the same.
Robert Hercules Cairo-Roman: It so happens that the Father of God and Son of Buddy Roman ain't booked to compete at the Assassination of May. Now ain't that something about a bitch named Hitlerch? See, I think that's bullshit right there. But I want to assure the Loyal that by hook or by crook, Robert Cai-Roman will be at A-D-M and he will be knockin' muddafukkas out for no reason.
Cairo makes like he's gonna hand the mic to his Imperium brethren, but then he pulls it back.
Robert Hercules Cairo-Roman: Ayo, one moe thing-- Danny Anderson, STOP USING MY THEME MUSIC OR I'MA FUCK YEW UP, YA BUM ASS JOBBUH!
Cairo hands the mic back to Roman
Buddy Roman: So you see, WCF. This isnt a game. We arnt just going to go away. And I want to make something very clear. To Alex Richards, who might be partnering with me on my way to immortality. I give you an offer. I've seen the way that Pantheon treats you. Second class. No class. Every since the founding members of Pantheon returned, this new Pantheon has been thrown to the waist. As a father, it makes me weep. I cry tears of blood for you. I know that we've had our differences in the past but I hope that we can see past them tonight and work not just as a team but as father and son. And when you're ready – your real family will be waiting for you at the very top of WCF.
Roman drops the Mic as Maggies Farm hits the PA again.
Gravedigger: SIESTA TIME! I love Mexico.
The lights in the arena begin to flash on and off as 'Orion' by Metallica begins playing over the giant new Slam-tron video screen. Angel Fyre exits from the back wearing a black satin evening dress that left nothing to the imagination. Night Rider followed in his black leather jacket, trunks, and boots. He strolls towards the ring and makes a stop at the announcers table. After grabbing a microphone he jumps into the ring and the four corner posts explode with pyrotechnics.
Night Rider: Well, well, well. I look around here and I see the same old nasty @$$ faces that I see everywhere else. Your nothing but a bunch of fat, out of shape losers spending your kids welfare money to come and see me! That's the reason you are all here. To see the triumphant long anticipated return of the beast they call Night Rider. F#c# all of you. Have fun as I beat the $h!t out of another loser just like yourselves.
The crowd boos loudly until 'Tom Sawyer' by Rush begins playing on the Slam-Tron in the arena, and Jimmy Wicked bounces out to the stage, playing air guitar in time to the music. He heads down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans and having a great time. When he gets to the ring, Wicked slides under the bottom rope and climbs the nearest turnbuckle, playing to the crowd and hitting the air guitar solo, before turning to face his opponent, still with that big grin.
Night Rider can't stand the $h!t eating grin and charges Wicked before the bell even rings. He hits Wicked with a shoulder block and flips him over with a back body drop. Night Rider follows with an elbow drop and climbs to the second rope . He leaps off attempting another elbow drop and Wicked rolls out of the way. Night Rider hits the mat with a thud and grabs his elbow. Wicked climbs the ropes and waits for Night Rider to get to his feet. Night Rider stands up and turns around just in time to get hit in the face with a drop kick. Night Rider hits the mat. Wicked with the cover as the ref slides into position.
Angel Fyre climbs onto the apron breaking the count as the ref walks over to make her get down. A frustrated Wicked walks over and begins arguing with the referee. Night Rider gets up and grabs Wicked by the arm and sends him into the ropes. Wicked ducks a clothesline and bounces off the ropes hitting Night Rider with clothesline of his own. Wicked follows it up with a drop kick that sends Night Rider out onto the arena floor. Angel Fyre walks over to check on him and moves as Wicked catapults himself over the top rope and hits Night Rider. He picks up Night Rider and slides him under the bottom rope. Wicked climbs to the top rope and measures Night Rider.
Angel Fyre runs over and pushes Wicked off of the ropes. Wicked hits the mat with a thud as the crowd pops. Night Rider and Wicked are both down. The ref begins counting as from out of nowhere Katherine Phoenix hits Angel Fyre with a chair. She runs in and knocks the referee out of the ring before going after Night Rider. She picks up Night Rider and ddt's him onto the mat. She grabs Wicked and puts him on top of Night Rider. She then runs out of the ring and grabs the referee. She rolls him under the ropes back into the ring before grabbing a microphone from ringside and walking over to where she is in Night Riders face.
Katherine Phoenix: That's what you get Night Rider. Who the hell do you think you are messing with my best friend? You are going to pay for that. This is just the beginning. I am going to be in your face every chance I get.
She storms off through the audience as the ref realizes where he is at and begins counting.
No, Somehow Night Rider gets his foot on the ropes.
The referee breaks the pin attempt. Wicked rolls over towards the ropes and grabs them, trying to get to his feet. Night Rider sits up and shakes his head. Wicked gets to his feet as Night Rider remains in a seated position. Wicked hits the ropes and comes off with a drop kick that sends Night Rider slamming into the mat. Wicked hooks the leg as the ref begins counting.
3. No, So close. Night Rider kicks out at the last split second.
Wicked slams the mat three times complaining about a slow count. He hits Night Rider with a leg drop across the chest. He picks Night Rider up and sends him into the ropes. Wicked follows him in. Night Rider drops and pulls down on the ropes. Wicked goes flying over the ropes and hits the railing at ringside. Night Rider slides out of the ring and grabs Wicked. He picks him up and drops him over the steel railing. Wicked screams in pain. Night Rider picks him up again and throws him into the ring. Night Rider climbs to the top rope and hits Wicked with an axe handle just as he was sitting up. Night Rider goes for the cover.
No Wicked kicks out. Night Rider walks over and begins to climb the ropes again. Just as he is about to leap Katherine Phoenix appears once again out of nowhere and hits him with a chair before being chased away by a chair wielding Angel Fyre. Night Rider falls to the mat. Wicked rolls over to where he is and puts his arm over him for the cover. Night Rider immediately puts his foot on the ropes. Wicked picks up Night Rider and sends him into the turnbuckle. Wicked follows him in with a clothesline. Night Rider hits the mat. Wicked goes for the cover.
No, Reversal by Night Rider. Night Rider grabs the tights and uses the ropes for leverage as an unseeing ref begins counting.
3. Night Rider steals one here today!
Gravedigger: Siesta over again. Yawn.
The scene opens backstage at Slam. Imperium locker room. BBW's and coke on deck. Kaz Mazy sits on a couch with his championship belts slung over his shoulder looking forlorn. He leans back and takes a hit off his Poondock Kush blunt as Joey Flash approaches, a bottle of vodka in hand. He takes a seat next to Kaz and sits there quietly for a moment.
Joey Flash: Drink?
Kaz snatches the bottle and takes a big swig.
Joey Flash: You're eager, good. How are ya feeling?
Kaz Mazy: We've gotta long night ahead of us, man. I know what we have to do...but I still have my reservations. I spent a lot of my life trying to play fair. A lot is riding on this. Like who we ARE...who I am.
Kaz takes another huge gulp from the bottle. Joey smiles.
Joey Flash: Fair play is a funny thing though ain't it? I get you, I really do, shit I'm as competitive person as it gets but surely you're starting to realize here that playing fair is a kick in the teeth when the game itself is trying to screw you at every opportunity.
Kaz sighs, then takes a huge hit off his PD blunt. He passes it towards Joey.
Kaz Mazy: I've tried showin' these motherfuckers love. I've tried to talk them up, put them over...but still, through all that, they've failed to realize what exactly I'm capable of doing. I'm sitting here as a double champion...yet, they still try to write me off as a joke...as some kind of rip off. Tonight...I can only hope these motherfuckers have a huge glass of water so they don't choke on their own words.
Joey takes a much smaller hit and observes Kaz for a moment as a smile breaks across his face. He hands the blunt back.
Joey Flash: That's just it thought isn't it Kaz? You can show all the love you want, you can show all the talent in the world and not get respect because you don't do one simple thing...toe the line. I mean shit look at you, Tag Team Champion, United States Champion, you've got the wrestling world at your feet and what happens? Clusterfuck, bland matchup, no respect. You're so much more than that Kaz, I see it in everything you do, people who mock you do it simply for one reason, they know they'll never have to back it up. They are under the protective wing of the same man that sabotaged Imperium's Trio's run, the same protective wing that bars your way to the top of the WCF mountain.
Joey motions for the blunt once more and takes a much longer hit, satisfied with where the conversation is going. He stares intently at Kaz.
Joey Flash: I know we've not talked much, I know I've not been the best at trying to sort this shit our for us all and for that I'm sorry. I said before that I only consider people of my...equal, friends. I'm not getting to let him crush your talent the same way mine has been crushed. So what say you...friend, tonight we show the WCF and we show Seth Lerch the real fucking Imperium.
Kaz grabs a bottle of Makers off the side table next to him and holds it up.
Kaz Mazy: You're fuck right, Joey. I'm sick and tired of being disrespected. I'm sick and tired of these motherfuckers running their mouths...and I'm sick and fucking tired of Seth Lerch trying to collectively squash what is the greatest collection of talent the WCF has ever seen. Fuck the DRG. Fuck Pantheon. Fuck Lerch. Fuck em all!
Kaz and Joey clang their respective bottles together.
Kaz Mazy: Let's get out there and show them that we're the best at what we do. You know, I spent all this time thinking I had to find myself, but I can see now that's all bullshit. You don't find yourself...you create yourself...and what we've created is IMPERIUM!
As the lights in the arena go out, "Get Born Again" by Alice in Chains begins to blare over the crowd. A flash of light shoots towards the center of the ring and you can make out the shape of Freakshow. The arena stays blanketed in darkness until a red light hits the stage, a light fog begins to drift out and engulf the stage. Mikey eXtreme walks out as "lightning" begins to crash into the stage.
Kyle Steel: From Brooklyn, New York… weighing in at 230 pounds.... he is MIKEY EXTREME!!!
Freakshow, who appeared to be in the ring just moments ago is now slowly following Mikey to the ring. Mikey does not make eye contact with anyone in the crowd and ignores their requests for any interaction. Mikey slides into the ring and rolls to the corner where he sits, leaning against the bottom rope. Freakshow circles the ring, staring at the stage waiting for Mikey's tag team partner.
Zach Davis: Mikey seems pumped up here tonight, this should be one very interesting match indeed.
Freddy Whoa: Yes indeed, Katherine Phoenix and Celeste have been quite vocal lately. I'm curious to see what the outcome will be here tonight leading into their match at Asesinato De Mayo next week.
The house lights go down as colorful lights start flashing all around the area. "Storytime" by Nightwish begins to play, as the arena eagerly awaits Katherine Phoenix to make her way down to the ring.
Kyle Steel: From Los Angeles, California… weighing in at 134 pounds.... she is KATHERINE PHOENIX!!!
"Storytime" continues to play but Katherine Phoenix has not made her way out from behind the curtain yet. The crowd begin to look a bit confused as their favorite crazed brunette has yet to make an appearance.
Zach Davis: Katherine Phoenix has still not shown herself as of yet, this isn't like her...
Gravedigger: She's probably "no showing" again, Zach. I called it earlier.
Zach Davis: That isn't the case, Gravedigger. We saw her earlier tonight. Something must have happened here...
Freddy Whoa: There she is… Whoa! Celeste just threw her down hard onto the steel entrance ramp. Katherine looks hurt already. Were they brawling backstage before the match?
Zach Davis: It would certainly seem that way…
Gravedigger: I hope this hot piece of ass puts an end to this psycho bitch.
Freddy Whoa: Whoa!
Gravedigger: What?! I dig redheads!
Katherine attempts to push herself up off the floor as Celeste charges at her and boots her hard directly into her side, extremely hard. Katherine rolls down the ramp and collides with the ring as Celeste is hot on her trail. Katherine looks up at the ferocious redhead and begins to yell at her as she sits on the floor pressed up against the ring.
Katherine Phoenix: Whoa, Red. I know we have a match right now but we’re STILL friends! Take it easy!
Zach Davis: Katherine still thinks that Celeste is her friend. She needs to stop this before she gets badly hurt here…
Gravedigger: Don’t tell her that they aren’t friends, I want to see Katherine get her head ripped off. The crazy bitch deserves nothing less.
Katherine holds her out as Celeste angrily approaches the ring and pushes Katherines arms aside and hits her HARD with a right hand directly to her skull. Katherine falls to the floor again holding her head as Mikey watches on from within the ring unsure whether to interrupt this or not. Celeste climbs on top of Katherine and sends a bunch of left and rights down hard directly into her face.
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! Katherine is busted up. Someone needs to stop this!
Gravedigger: Stop what? This match hasn’t even started yet.
Mikey has seen enough. He climbs out of the ring and quickly approaches Celeste who immediately spots her coming at him and backs away off of Katherine. Mikey attempts to follow Celeste around the ring but Katherine notices that he’s trying to scare Celeste off and grabs his leg digging her nails in. Mikey yells in pain as Katherine picks herself up off the floor, blood dripping down her face onto her chest. Katherine pushes Mikey HARD against his chest giving him evil stares. Katherine once again begins to yell as Mikey looks at her confused.
Katherine Phoenix: Don’t you DARE even think about her! She’s my best friend! You touch her or even go near her and I’ll kill you! Don’t you even think about it!!!
Mikey shakes his head in disbelief and jumps back up into the ring as Celeste runs around the ring and grabs Katherine around her waist and throws her hard over her head and hits an extremely painful backdrop on Katherine directly into the ring steps. Katherines head bounces off of the steel steps and she falls to the floor unconscious as Celeste looks up at Mikey with a wicked grin on her face.
Freddy Whoa: I can’t believe this… this match hasn’t even started yet and Katherine is already down and hurt…
Zach Davis: This is not looking good for Mikey Extreme at all…
Gravedigger: What are you fools talking about? This is GREAT!!!
The arena lights dim as the crowd buzz begins to build to fever pitch. The music begins and lingers for a moment before Joey Flash in all his glory emerges from behind the curtain staring at the crowd. He floats regally down the aisle bathing in the atmosphere and stopping to shake the hand of anyone who desires it.
Zach Davis: And Joey Flash is finally making his entrance here to take part in what has now become one of the most one sided matches we’ll most likely see tonight.
Kyle Steel: From The Bronx, New York… weighing in at 220 pounds.... he is JOEY FLASH!!!
Joey Flash circles the ring not once, but twice whilst barely paying attention to either the downed Katherine Phoenix or his tag team partner, Celeste. Joey finally slides into the ring and stares at Mikey Extreme with both apathy and disgust. Celeste slowly walks over to her corner and jumps up onto the apron.
Freddy Whoa: And this match is finally officially under way.
Zach Davis: Yeah and Katherine Phoenix is still down outside of the ring. This isn’t fair here at all.
Gravedigger: Pffffffffft! Fair! This is WCF, there’s not such thing as fair here.
Joey Flash just stands directly in front of Mikey eXtreme and gives him the finger just trying to anger his opponent, almost begging him to start here.
JOEY FLASH SUCKS… JOEY FLASH SUCKS… JOEY FLASH SUCKS!!!
The two opponents circle the ring as the boos continue to fly. Joey Flash throws his hand up into the air just darling Mikey to lock up with him, which he does confidentally. As soon as the two men lock up, Joey Flash kicks Mikey in the gut and clotheslines him to the mat. Joey stands above Mikey and just taunts his opponent to the sound of more boos.
Zach Davis: The crowd is not happy with Joey Flash here at all tonight. Listen to those boo’s!
Freddy Whoa: Yeah. Can you blame them? This is already a handicap match! Joey acting like this is not necessary at all.
Joey reaches down and grabs Mikey up off the mat and attempts to hit a scoop slam on his opponent, but Mikey reverses the move and hits a hard backbreaker sending Joey down hard onto the canvas. The crowd cheer as Mikey lifts Joey up again, knocking him back down with a hard clothesline. He hits an elbow drop and goes for the pin.
Freddy Whoa: Joey Flash kicked out at one? Unbelievable.
Zach Davis: Mikey Extreme is going to need to try a lot harder to put Joey Flash away here, I’ll tell you that now.
Gravedigger: Is Katherine Phoenix still down outside there?
Zach Davis: Ummmmm it’d seem so.
Gravedigger: Lazy bitch. Probably taking a nap.
Mikey eXtreme climbs on top of Joey Flash and sends a hard right hand right into his face, then another. Mikey attempts to elbow Joey into his jaw but Joey blocks the strike and headbutts him sending Mikey stumbling off of him clutching his head. Joey Flash charges at Mikey and hits him with an Inverted Suplex. The crowd boos as Joey Flash taunts the crowd. Joey grabs Mikey’s leg and kicks him spears it down hard into the mat causing Mikey to scream out in pain. Joey picks Mikey up off the mat and DDT’s him down onto the canvas, immediately covering him.
Mikey kicks out just before the ref’s hand touches the mat.
Freddy Whoa: Whoa that was a close one. Joey Flash almost won right there.
Zach Davis: It’s seem Katherine Phoenix is finally starting to shake off those cobwebs…
Gravedigger: About time. That lazy bitch needs to get into this match.
The two men are back on their feet and begin exchanging blows in the center of the ring. Mikey eXtreme gets the upper hand, ducking two of Joey’s shots and hitting him with a missile dropkick for his trouble. Mikey reaches down and grabs one of Joey Flash’s ankles and wraps himself around Joey’s legs locking in a figure four leg lock. Joey Flash immediately yells out in pain as in the distance a blood soaked Katherine Phoenix is seen picking herself up off the floor with the help of the ring steps.
Zach Davis: Joey Flash could be in trouble here if he can’t get to the ropes!
Celeste reaches out her hand desperate for the tag as Joey, still in agony, desperately crawls across the canvas trying to reach the bottom rope. Mikey attempts to put even more pressure onto the hold as Joey continues to scream out in pain, Celeste just looking even more desperate to get into this match.
Freddy Whoa: Mikey eXtreme might win this single handidly! That would be impressive…
Gravedigger: No! You spoke too soon. Joey Flash is trying to reverse the hold. This guy is one smart cat!
Joey successfully reverses the hold and applies the pressure onto Mikey, now making him scream out in pain. Mikey has no choice but to let go of the hold and the two men break up with the refs help. Joey and Mikey slowly make their way back up onto their feet, fully intent on destroying each other. They begin to exchange hard rights and lefts, Mikey getting the upper hand and unleashing numerous kicks and boxing combinations, separating the two with sheer determined force! Joey finally blocks one of the shots and throws Mikey into the corner which would have been Katherines, who is still trying to pick herself up off the floor. Joey begins to unleash a few hard rights and lefts into Mikeys gut and then pulls him out of the corner and hits a hard spike DDT, landing Mikey hard onto his face.
Zach Davis: Ouch! I felt that over here!
Gravedigger: Ahh... no way Mikey can recover from this now!
Freddy Whoa: Flash is getting pumped up here and the crowd is not happy about it.
A wave of boo’s hit Joey as he signals that the end is near. He taunts the crowd and preps himself, before preparing to end the match. He waits eagerly for an unsuspecting Mikey eXtreme to make his way up onto his feet, as soon as he does a wicked grin spreads across Joeys face as he circles his opponent. Mikey turns around…
Zach Davis: SUDDEN FLASH!!!
Freddy Whoa: This thing is over!
Gravedigger: Cover him!
Joey Flash jumps down on top of Mikey and hooks the leg.
Zach Davis: This thing is over. Joey Flash and Celeste have beaten Mikey eXtreme and Katherine Phoenix. Someone needs to get some help for Katherine here, Celeste took her out before the match had even begun and she still appears to be in great amounts of pain.
Gravedigger: Oh shut up, that psycho should shake it off. Celeste barely touched her.
Mikey eXtreme rolls out of the ring as Joey continues to taunt the crowd and celebrate his victory. Celeste slowly steps into the ring and slowly approaches Joeys side as her tag team partner continues to wind up the livid audience.
Zach Davis: You think these two are going to become a team now? They had quite a lot of fun this week from what I heard…
Freddy Whoa: Ummmmm… I’m not too sure.
Joey Flash turns around to see that Celeste is stood in the ring with him and a smile spreads across his face as if he is genuinely happy. He puts his arms into the air to celebrate again… but then charges at Celeste and hits her HARD with another SUDDEN FLASH!!! Celeste hits the canvas hard as once again the crowd begin to boo like crazy. The fans become so livid that they begin to throw miniature toy ducks directly at Joey Flash, the ring slowly piling up with miniature toy duck figurines. Joey picks a couple of them up and throws them angrily back into the crowd as he slowly approaches a downed Celeste.
Zach Davis: No! Don’t you touch her again, Joey! She’s had enough!
Freddy Whoa: This crowd isn’t helping at all, the ducks are just making Joey even angrier! Stop the ducks! STOP THE DUCKS!!!
Joey kicks a couple more of the toy ducks out of the ring as more just keep being thrown at him, the ring now nothing more than a sea of yellow. Joey Flash continues to approach Celeste very snakelike as the crowd continue to boo him. Joey grabs Celestes arm and taunts the crowd again looking like he’s about to apply his trademark arm bar submission, Pain is Love.
Zach Davis: No!!! Don’t do it!
Gravedigger: It’s this crowds fault, the ducks are just pissing him off more… and rightfully so.
Joey goes for the move but before he can lock it in Katherine Phoenix FINALLY manages to pull herself into the ring and charges at Joey, Joey notices however and jumps out of the ring before Katherine can get to him. Joey circles the ring grinning wickedly at Katherine as she stares at him looking extremely annoying. She then turns her attention onto who she believes is her friend and helps her up off the floor, a couple of ducks being pushed out of the ring. Celeste immediately pushes Katherine away however and stares her down not accepting her help or allowing her to go near her.
Zach Davis: After what she did to her Katherine Phoenix STILL thinks that Celeste is her friend? This is unbelievable.
Freddy Whoa: All I have to say about this is whoa… just whoa!
Zach Davis: These two go face to face at next weeks PPV… and I for one am not looking forward to it. Will Katherine even fight back? I don’t even know.
Joey Flash is standing in the middle of the ring when the lights go out. "Halloween Theme" starts playing as blue strobe lights filter threw smoke coming from under the ring. A loud scream echoes threw the arena and then the lights go pitch black. After about twenty seconds they come back on and Joey Flash is standing in the middle of a fist spray painted in black on the ring. The music cuts off and flyers start falling from the rafters with the word FIST on them with the FIST symbol. "Miseria Cantare" by AFI starts playing as the lights dim down and the blue strobes filter threw the smoke again.
Voice: Joey Flash you have seen your day come and go in the WCF, yet you run your mouth like your untouchable. Your far from untouchable my friend far from it. If you want to be the next victim keep running your mouth on social media, the FIST has no problem with shutting your mouth for you. Strike first, strike hard.
The lights go out completely and a cold rush of air sweeps threw the arena just before the lights fade up. Flash is looking around like "da fuq?" Joey Flash has more immediate concerns. He stands in the ring with Mikey eXtreme and looks like he's about to start arguin with the ref, but he catches Mikey trying to slip between the middle and top rope and drags him back into the ring by his leg.
Freddy Whoa: What the hell?! The match is over!
Gravedigger: Joey doesn't care! Tonights not about winning or losing...it's about sending a message!
Joey pulls him back in the ring and knocks him over the back of the head, knocking Mikey to the mat!
Zach Davis: Somebody stop this!
Joey's laying the boot to Mikey eXtreme as "2nd Sucks" by A Day To Remember blasts over the PA.
The crowd pops as Kaz flies through the crowd with kendo on his back, leaps the barricade, and slides into the ring. He moves toward Joey and pushes him away from Mikey.
Zach Davis: What's Kaz doing?
Gravedigger: It looks like he's stopping his own teammate from laying the boot to his opponent at Asesinato de Mayo. What an idiot!
Freddy Whoa: It looks like he's saying something to him.
Kaz points at Joey, then back towards Mikey who's standing to his feet. Joey moves toward Mikey, but Kaz stops him with his kendo stick. Mikey gets to his feet...but Kaz whips around and plugs Mikey in the forehead with the kendo to a loud boo/cheer from the crowd.
Zach Davis: OH GAWDFATHUH!
Joey and Kaz both start laying waste to Mikey with boots and a kendo! Mikey tries to fight back, but the two overwhelm him with brute force!
Freddy Whoa: Looks like Kaz sold out to Buddy Roman after all.
Gravedigger: He didn't sell out...he bought in! This is amazing!
Joey pulls Mikey to his feet, holding his arms back behind him as Kaz winds up the kendo stick!...but various members of the DRG make their way down the ramp and Kaz and Joey bail out of the ring. The DRG stand next to their fallen member as Kaz and Joey start making their way up the ramp, smiles on their faces and middle fingers hoisted high. DRG check on Mikey as the scene fades to black.
"I CAN'T STOP-OP-OP-OP-OP-OP..."
Freddy Whoa: It's The Mack!
Zach Davis: Oh, brother.
"Who Gon Stop Me" cuts off and is replaced by "300 Violin Orchestra".
Freddy Whoa: Yup, here comes his brother! Jonny Fly!
The crowd boos as Orbit and Fly step onto the stage. Orbit is wearing a lavender suit with zebra trim and tons of gold. Fly is wearing a white designer suit. They encourage the negative reaction from the crowd, seemingly enjoying it as they make their way to the ring.
Gravedigger: That's class right there. These guys aren't letting the morons in the crowd get to them. They know what they have to offer, they know what they bring to this company.
Zach Davis: What, lawsuits? I'm surprised Seth hasn't heard from Orbit and Fly's mother--
Zach's mic cuts out.
Gravedigger: Not supposed to talk about that, Zach.
Orbit and Fly stand in the ring, waiting for the crowd to die down. Orbit begins to speak.
Steve Orbit: You know I almost didn't come back for Trios. I almost didn't sign those papers. Y'all wanna know why I didn't wanna come back for Trios?
Steve Orbit: So I wouldn't have to come to this mother fuckin' cesspool of a town called Mexico City.
The crowd boos intensely. Orbit and Fly laugh.
Steve Orbit: Come on, I'm just fuckin' with y'all. Lighten up, I love Mexico. The booze is cheap, the blow is cheap-- the women are really, very, especially cheap. Y'all got some ugly bitches out here though, damn. I see some of y'all hunchback lookin' mother fuckers in the crowd right now... yuck.
Orbit scans the crowd and points at some of the women as the crowd continues to boo.
Steve Orbit: I still love you, even if you ugly. There's somebody out there just for you. Somebody out there... who would pay to fuck you.
The crowd boos fiercely as Orbit and Fly continue to laugh it up.
Steve Orbit: Aw shit. Anyway, I ain't here to talk about y'all. I'm here to talk about... us.
Orbit points to Fly and back at himself.
Steve Orbit: See, I been hearin' all the talk backstage. All the whispers in the dark. It's the same fuckin' thing every time we come around. Even on twitter, they talkin' about the old guard, and the fix is in and all that type of bullshit. That ain't some real shit to talk about, that ain't even some man type of shit. That's fuck shit. That's fuckboy shit. Ever since I can remember, people been talkin' this type of shit about Steve Orbit. I was here for six months and mother fuckers was talkin' about how I was old news and I was holdin' back the new guys and whatever else these jealous people be sayin'. And they be askin', why is we back? What do we have left to prove to WCF? Why won't we just... GO AWAY?
Crowd: GO A-WAY! GO A-WAY!
Steve Orbit: Aw, that's cute. Y'all sound just like these jealous mother fuckers. I mean, it's the same fuckin' thing every time we come around. We had people like Caliban. Groups like Rebellion. Yeah, most of you new mother fuckers probably don't even know those names, but you should. Because they was YOU, before YOU was YOU. Nah mean? They was on the same type of shit, the same bullshit about the big bad Steve Orbit and Jonny Fly, and all the conspiracy theories and all that fuckin' wild shit. It's tired, homie. All that shit is tired and played out, heard it all before. Give the people somethin' they can fuckin' believe in.
Orbit passes the mic to Fly.
Jonny Fly: There are very few constants in this business. Very few safe bets. Seth will fuck up a contract-- safe bet. Logan will fuck up your tag match-- safe bet. Jonny Fly and Steve Orbit will be the focus of WCF programming whenever we are around-- safe_fucking_bet. I'm dealing with the truth and dealing with facts. The fact is I came into this company in 2011 and I took it over. I won the World Title in the blink of an eye. I ushered in the Era of Jonny Fly. The ERA... of Jonny Fly. I was un-fucking-touchable. To this day, there are only a handful of people who have defeated me in a one-on-one match.
Orbit nudges Fly.
Jonny Fly: I'm getting to that. See, my brother, Steve Orbit, held down the rest of the card while I was on top. While I walked in the door and took over, Steve took his time. He built his name, built his BRAND. It was a slow burn to the top, as he carved out his own path to the upper echelon of this business. It was a trajectory that led him directly... to me.
Orbit nods. Fly puts his hand on Orbit's shoulder.
Jonny Fly: Steve and myself have an incredible history here in this company. We've been tag partners, Pantheon stablemates-- and we've been bitter rivals who main evented One, together. We've stabbed each other in the back, double crossed each other-- and helped each other achieve success, been there for each other. Essentially we've done everything that brothers are supposed to do, except we did it before we even knew that we had the same mother.
Fly passes the mic back to Orbit.
Steve Orbit: The point that Jonny is tryin' to make is that the two of us have had a stranglehold on this company going on three years. And yet these new kids on the block, these newcomers to WCF, think we're the old guard just because we stepped away for a few months? Y'all can't be serious. Y'all can't really believe that we could fall off that far, that fast. I mean, this is a fast pace business-- what's hot today ain't necessarily gonna be hot tomorrow, but look, Jonny Fly and Steve Orbit done stood the test of time. The two of us held the God damn World title six times in the last three years. SIX TIMES. We ARE the main event. This ain't a Torture return where we comin' back ten years later and tryin' to make ourself hot again. We here to put this house in order. We here to restore the mother fuckin' heirarchy around here.
Orbit passes the mic back to Fly.
Jonny Fly: We start with the Trios Cup. The Trios Cup is a special event for me, it's an event that I hold dear to my heart. You want to know why I came back? Yeah, those Trios belts, they're a good place to start-- a good place to start my return to the mother fucking throne. Because I can guarantee you this. WHEN we win Trios, it will be Steve or myself who scores the pin, and it will be one of us who gets that World title shot. It won't be Corey because... I mean, let's face it, Corey's World Title days are behind him. He's the only mother fucker in this company who has the skill and the resume to stand in the ring with us, but he's not scoring that World Title pin. It will be myself or Steven. The rest is by the book. We're back. Cry and whine all you want, but if you-- ANY of you in the back think I'm not the same Jonny Fly that's raped and pillaged my way through this company for over three years, I beg of you-- test me. Come and see the_fucking_reaper for yourself.
Orbit takes the mic from Fly, and there's a pause before he speaks.
Steve Orbit: The truth is, it really don't matter which one of us gets that pinfall. We're the fuckin' money makers around here. We'll take the World title, and then we'll do Steve Orbit versus Jonny Fly at every pay per view and draw bigger numbers than any of this dog and pony shit that's been goin' on. The big boys are back-- it's already started, but the shit will be set in stone next week when we roll over three fuckin' nobodies in the Trios finals. Serious, who the fuck are any of these guys? A fat biker, a painted up clown and a fuckin' wannabe spy soldier boy. Sounds like we fightin' the fuckin' Village People.
Orbit laughs and passes the mic to Fly.
Jonny Fly: In a way I'm disappointed. At least we had Torture in the finals last year-- worthless as he is in the ring, at least he has name value. This is going to be a fucking massacre.
"Falling Higher" by Helloween hits the PA.
Zach Davis: Here comes trouble in the form of Gemini Battle!
"Crushing Day" by Joe Satriani hits the PA.
Freddy Whoa: And Deuce Murdock!
Loud motorcycle sounds are heard over the PA.
Gravedigger: And Thomas Bates! The entire Trios team is here, these guys will face off with Fly, Orbit and Black next week-- and it looks like they've heard enough!
Battle, Bates and Deuce stand on the stage. Fly and Orbit start barking at them from the ring, off mic.
Gravedigger: Don't just stand there! Fight!
Freddy Whoa: We might be getting the Trios finals a week early!
Finally, Bates, Battle and Deuce rush towards the ring! They slide in and begin brawling with Orbit and Fly. They try to fight off the three men but they are soon overpowered by the numbers, until--
Freddy Whoa: There's Corey Black hopping the guardrail!
Gravedigger: I'm surprised to see him with his arm being jacked up and all, but he's here for his team. Solid move.
CD slides into the ring and joins the brawl, evening the numbers. Everybody is throwing fists-- Orbit with Bates, CD with Battle and Fly with Deuce. They continue to brawl until--
"Master of Puppets" hits!
Zach Davis: Seth wants to see this action up close!
Seth stands on the stage with a mic.
Seth Lerch: STOP IT!
They don't stop.
Seth Lerch: HEY! All six of you, break it up!
Security rushes past Seth and head to the ring.
Seth Lerch: Stop giving away my Pay Per View main event! This has been building for a month, you can't just give it away on Slam! STOP!
It takes about a dozen security members to break up the melee, but both teams are seperated in the ring, still talking trash to each other. Seth shakes his head and then heads backstage.
Freddy Whoa: Seth robbed the fans of what they wanted to see tonight!
Gravedigger: Eh, he's right. It's the finals of a special tournament that only happens once a year. It should be protected.
Zach Davis: I think Seth is only worried about protecting his bank account!
Cut to commercial.
Snapz enters slow walk on to the stage glaring thru the crowd as he walks to the ring he approaches fans on the aisles as if to interact but then turns to a camera with a evil grin and slides into the ring. As he stands in the middle of the ring he raises his fist suddenly bringing it down with a bang of pyro going off.
Zach Davis: What?
Kyle Steel: Now making his way to the ring, the Television Challenger! Standing at a specific height and weight, hailing from a town or city... WRESTLERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Freddy Whoa: What?
The loud sound of a Harley-Davidson motorcycle blares over the PA system. It soon fades, and is replaced with "Midnight Rider" by the Allman Brothers Band as the titron begins showing clips of the Dark Riders Gang MC riding in columns with Bates at the lead. Thomas Uriel Bates steps out on the stage and begins walking towards the ring with a focused look. The titron shows the motorcycle images replaced with images of Bates fighting in the ring, highlighting his power moves from his previous matches, ending with Bates throwing Gemini Battle thirty feet in the air and into the fifth row of the crowd. As Bates arrives to the ring, he climbs up the steps and walks to the center of the apron. He steps over the top rope and enters the ring. Bates looks towards Snapz, stretches out his arms, and roars. The crowd joins him in the roar, amplifying the thunderous effect.
Zach Davis: Wait, shouldn't somebody have changed th-
Kyle Steel: AND NOW! Making his way to the ring, the Television Champion! Standing at 6'9" and weighing in at 430 lbs, hailing from Memphis, Tennessee... THE IMPASSABLE MOUNTAIN, THOMAS URIEL BATES!!!
Freddy Whoa: This next bout is for the Television Title. That means, of course, that the winner will take home a brand new 27-inch Zenith Color TV!
Zach Davis: That's right, Freddy. Mr. Bates, who has defended his title several times, has accumulated a number of those beauties already. I'm sure he's very eager to add more to the pile.
At the sound of the bell, Snapz charges across the ring like a cheetah with a fire-cracker shoved up his ass and attempts to blitz Bates with a powerhouse clothesline. He has a look of determination in his eyes like a man who knows this could be his only chance to make a name for himself in this unforgiving world of sports entertainment. Despite this raw valor, however, the champion is able to easily halt his attempted onslaught by merely extending his hand and holding Snapz back at arms length by his forehead.
Freddy Whoa: WOOL! Snapz is a pretty huge guy, but he looks like a kid in there compared to Bates!
Zach Davis: Yeah, the Philadelphian ex-cop usually relies on being able to out-muscle his opponents. I doubt that strategy will pay off against a man who can deadlift almost half a ton.
The dumbfounded challenger impotently tries to land a punch on Bates as the leviathan powerlifter holds him out of range. Growing bored of Snapz's laughable offense, he gives a slight shove and launches the Eagles' jersey-clad grappler twelve feet back straight into the turnbuckle. So shocked is Snapz by his opponent's seemingly inhuman strength that he can't even react when "The Mountain" comes flying at him with an incomprehensibly powerful charging clothesline. A hail of teeth spray into the crowd when Bates' meatslab arm collides with the challenger's jaw.
Zach Davis: Damn, it looks like everybody in the first row got their drinks ruined.
Freddy Whoa: That one hit alone looks like it did Snapz in. Bates seems like he just wants to hit the finisher and call it a night.
Dragging the profusely bleeding challenger to the center of the ring, Bates spins him around and locks on a Full-Nelson so he can execute his famed finishing move, The Badge. Just before he can lift his squirming opponent into the air, however, Snapz springs to life and thrusts both of his thumbs backwards into the champion's eyes. Bates relinquishes his hold in agony as the wounded challenger scrambles over to the turnbuckle on all fours.
Zach Davis: Hot damn, Snapz actually survived that close call, but how is he going to follow it up?
Freddy Whoa: Looks like he's going for an aerial move! A hard salvo while Bates is stunned might be his only chance to win this match!
Climbing to the top rope, Snapz unleashes a Hellish war cry as he launches himself into the air at the blinded champion! His flying clothesline hits Bates' skull with so much force that the boom echoes throughout the arena! The mammoth Television Champion's nose shatters from the blow, sending a faucet of blood spewing to the ground. The crowd watches in awe as Bates wobbles, and wobbles... And remains on his feet. Looking up at his opponent from where he had landed on the ground, Snapz's skin quickly drains stark white. The hardest hit he could muster didn't phase the noble champion much at all... Besides making him righteously pissed off.
Zach Davis: Oh shit.
Letting loose with a bellowing battle scream of his own, Bates yanks Snapz into the air like a toddler and powerbombs the hapless challenger multiple times in succession. The Philadelphian's limbs flop around like a ragdoll's each and every time his body bounces off the mat. The audience watches on in wide-eyed terror; there seems to be no end in sight for this horrific beating.
Freddy Whoa: WONG! Bates almost seemed to take pity on his hapless opponent before, but now he's unleashing his full manly rage!
Hoisting the bloodied and quivering Snapz above his head, Bates prepares to hit his other signature technique, The Memphis Giant Slam. Just like with The Badge, however, right before Bates is ready to drive Snapz through the ring floor, the squirming challenger pulls another sneaky move: He quickly rolls off the giant's hands and takes his back for a sleeper hold. Wrapping his gangly arms around Bates' bull-neck, the barely-conscious Snapz squeezes with all his might in an effort to tap the juggernaut out.
Zach Davis: Dear God, the big little guy never seems to give up! He's like wrestling's ersatz Rocky Balboa!
Gravedigger: It doesn't look like his puny strangle-hold is having much of an effect on the champion, though.
Steam practically comes out of Bates' nose as Snapz flaccidly attempts to choke him out. Grabbing onto one of the challenger's flabby, undertoned triceps, he whips Snapz off his back and hurls him clean out of the ring. The referee begins initiating the ten-count as soon as the challenger's limp body flops onto the concrete like an undercooked pancake.
A dazed and battered Snapz looks back up at the champion, who towers over him like a gargantuan Angel of Death. Climbing back to his feet on trembling legs, he emptily gazes around the arena, unsure of whether to get back in the ring or not. There seems to be nothing he can do to hurt this walking dreadnought. A young fan in the first row calls out to him, telling him that he can still win, but Snapz just doesn't know.
Without warning, Bates leaps over the top rope and hurdles down to the arena floor with a boom so powerfully it practically craters the foundation of the stadium. Snapz falls back down on his ass with a whimper, surprised that the beast wants to take the fight to him out here. He frantically looks around for an exit path, but there is none. The only thing he sees is that young fan in the Eagles jersey, still cheering him on despite these dire circumstances.
Lunging over the railing like a wild man, Snapz frantically makes a grab for his zealous supporter. Yanking the kid out into the wrestling area, he holds him up like a shield before Bates can make another move.
Zach Davis: Hmm... I think Snapz might've learned this move from his tours in the Middle East, perhaps from Saddam Hussein personally.
The entire arena is dumbstruck. Bates, his mouth agape, takes several steps backwards before sliding under the bottom rope and rolling back into the ring. Snapz is still holding the child in front of his face, his teeth clenched, his eyes filled with tears.
Kyle Steel: YOUR WINNER, AND STILL CHAMPION... THOMAS URIEL BATES
Freddy Whoa: I don't think Snapz will ever want to show his face in this promotion again after that little exhibition.
Zach Davis: He doesn't seem too intent on letting go of the kid, though. Luckily, the WCF was smart enough to plan ahead for situations like these by hiring the best security team Mexico has to over: The Los Zetas drug cartel. That child will be safe in no time.
As Bates celebrates his victory, Howard Black charges down the ramp from the back.
Freddy Whoa: What? Howard Black?! What's he want?
Gravedigger: Howard Black won a shot at the Television Championship at Aftermath and has been waiting. He can't be happy about this booking.
Howard slides into the ring, mic in hand, glaring daggers at Bates. His lips curl into a sneer as he spoke into the mic.
Howard Black: So... How much of this was your idea, Thomas?
Before Bates can respond, Howard continues in a loud bark of a voice.
Howard Black: You ask me to shoot a PSA with you, act like my friend, and you suddenly think I forget my place as the number one contender? You think I'm suddenly gonna let it go?! I EARNED THIS, THOMAS! You start cozying up Seth Lerch then suddenly I get jumped in line by some fucking jobber like Snapz and you think I don't put two and two together?! Like I don't see this little game?! I'M HUNGRY, BATES! AND I WANT THE SHOT I EARNED!
Bates simply stands there as he listens to Howard Black’s every word.
Thomas Uriel Bates: You did earn this shot, Howard. I’m not in control of Seth’s booking, and I’m not happy fighting against Snapz for this title when I should be facing the true number one contender; Howard Motherfucking Black. I don’t know what the hell Seth was thinking, if he was thinking at all, but we should be having a match.
Bates looks out towards the crowd, then back to Howard Black.
Thomas Uriel Bates: You’ve got a match later on tonight. A hard one, facing off against a good selection of talents from one of Seth’s famous clusterfuck matches. I don’t know what Seth’s plan is, or what he will do, but I will make this promise to you right now. If Seth doesn’t book you and me for the Television title on the Slam after the pay-per-view, then we will just have to have it anyway.
The crowd bursts into applause and cheers. Howard visibly calms down listening to Bates. Still, he keeps a thin, cynical smirk painted across his mouth.
Howard Black: I believe you, Thomas. But I'm not facing you on Slam after Asesinato de Mayo. I don't want you off the back of an ugly fight. I don't want you at anything but you're one hundred percent. I want you at Blast.
Bates steps closer to Howard Black, and extends his hand.
Thomas Uriel Bates: You've got it.
Howard shakes his hand as the audience cheers. The camera fades out.
The camera cuts to the back stage interview area where Hank Brown stands ready with a microphone in hand.
Hank Brown: Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce, at this time, one of WCF's newest faces; the self-proclaimed King of Saint Paul, “Smirkin'” Jack Coston and his manager Frank Manor.
The camera pulls out slightly while panning to the side to reveal Jack Coston in plain street clothes standing behind his manager stands head to toe in a gray business suit, sporting a pair of aviator sunglasses, which he slowly takes off as he turns his gaze over to Hank Brown.
Frank Manor: Thank you, Hank. We are both elated to finally be a part of the WCF roster, and even though my client is not booked in a match tonight, we thought it best that we, at the very least, come tonight and give the audience a little look at one of the brightest new stars of the company.
Frank gestures over to Jack Coston who chuckles and gives a small joking flex to the camera.
Frank Manor: See, my client, my ever...impressive client, Mister Coston, has competed all around the world, and has seen some of the very best that it has to offer. So, it is only fitting that his Journey lead him here! WCF; a company the exudes competition, history, and glory!
Hank Brown: You're very kind for saying so.
Frank Manor: Well, Hank, it might seem even more gratifying for you and the many people working here that no matter where we went, every knew that WCF was the place to be, and when that kind of mentality exists, a mythology of sort starts to form. Men turn into Gods here. I imagine many wrestlers might even feel a bit overwhelmed when taking their first steps into a place like this, and I couldn't blame them, its hard to live up to the bar set by people like Bobby Cairo, Jonny Fly, Gravedigger, Steve Orbit, so on and so forth, many people that reign as part of that aforementioned mythology. You start to second guess yourself, maybe wonder if you could really stand toe-to-toe with the greats. They feel that uncertainty and then turn tail. Not my client. This is a man, who unlike most, looks for the challenge. The idea of fighting Gods is what gets him out of bed in the morning. If he can't feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, its not worth it to him. He runs TO where others might run FROM, and when I told Mister Coston that WCF was interested in signing him...I mean, you should have just seen his face, lit up like it was Christmas day. He WANTS the uncertainty, he wants fights with outcomes he's unsure of, he wants to feel the fight like its a living thing, whipping around scrapping for everything he and his opponent has. Even when taking our very first steps into the building, not even having left the parking lot for a full minute, the energy surging through Mister Coston was palpable, he IS ready to fight, he IS ready to go head to head with any superstar, he IS ready to leave a mark on this company so wide and deep that he will be the name that new wrestlers weigh in their thoughts when deciding whether or not to sign to WCF. Could they stand toe-to-toe with him, could they measure up? He is ready for every single bit of that.
Hank Brown: Mister Manor, some are wond...
Frank Manor: Hank, I'm sure you have a lot of questions for us, which is understandable giving your field of work, but we are men of a very direct nature, and being that we are limited for time, my client and I really only want to take this time to send out one very clear message...my client is going to come at this company full force, he wants to be a part of that mythology, he wants to rest high on the proverbial mount olympus and look over the landscape. But for as much talking as I do, it doesn't mean much with the voice of the man whom I'm backing, Mister Coston himself.
Frank moves out of the way an Jack steps forward towards the microphone.
Jack Coston: Now, Frank, being my long time manager, does a lot of talking and says a lot of things, some for show some for hype, but there are a few things he has dead on. There is a sort of air to this company, and it carries a sort of weight that means something. I imagine that's part of the mythology that Frank was talking about, and to be honest, its hard not to get excited when you get a nice healthy lungful of that air. That's the other thing he has completely right, I am ready to get to work. Since I touched that pen to that contract I've been excited, and with every day my debut comes a little closer, I get a little more restless. That moment right before it all goes down is the most erratic, and no matter how many times I've gone through it from company to company, the feeling never changes. There isn't anything in this world I can compare it to, everything is just ready for that first collision and from then on out its all about momentum. Now, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, I'm not calling the company out, I'm not trying to push buttons, its nothing like that. All my life, all I've really ever wanted was to compete. Just put me in that ring, someone else can bother with the ass kissing and the politics, I don't have the mind for that, hence why I have Frank, he lets me just focus on what I do best.
Hank Brown: And you trust him?
Jack Coston: I would hope so. If he doesn't do his job, then I can't do mine, I have no interest being half-fighter half-business man, you only got so much time in this world to get good at one thing, and I want to get as good as possible. I know it kind of sounds like the cliché “I wanna be the best, like no one ever was,” type spiel, its that way for a reason, so my way of standing out is make sure everyone else is on the floor when I'm done, right?
Hank Brown: Well, that's quite a few people to work through.
Jack Coston: Good, gives me plenty of mythology to dismantle.
Jack and Frank walk off screen.
"Destruction Overdrive" by Black Label Society hits the P.A. System and the lights flicker in accordance while the tune plays through the airwaves. Danny Anderson walks slowly onto the stage and proceeds down the ramp, as Kyle Steel announces his entrance into the arena...
Kyle Steel: Making his way into the ring, weighing in at 225 pounds, he is "The Disturbed One" DDDAANNNNYYYYY AANNNDDDDERRSONNN!
Zach Davis: And what a roll he's been on since his team was eliminated from Trios!
Gravedigger: Yeah, his loser Trios team beat the other loser Trios teams, before getting Katherine Phoenix!
Freddy Whoa: And let's not forget that most of his recorded victories have been team efforts, with teams consisting of The New Freebirds and Wicked BioWalker...
Zach Davis: Either way, more momentum than Mod Deuce has going into the Pay Per View...
"The Unstable" Danny Anderson looks out into the booing crowd with a grin before walking up the ring steps onto the apron. He takes off his leather jacket, folds it, and lays it on the top turnbuckle and dusts his feet off and then enters through the ropes. Once in the ring Danny taunts to the crowd one last time.
"Need to be Strong" by Naruto begins to play next, as the lights dim, the stage lights turn red, and the crowd gives off a mixed reaction. Smoke and mist arise from the stage, as Mod Deuce comes out on to the stage 15 seconds into the song. He looks around, before looking upwards as an audible roar comes from Mod over the sound of the music AND the crowd.
Kyle Steel: His opponent, from Detroit, Michigan! He weighs in at 391 pounds, and stands 6'9"! He the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE HARDCORE TITLE! HE IS THE ANGEL OF WAR.... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD DEUCE!!!
After Mod is done roaring on stage, Mod rushes directly to the ring from the stage, not even bothering to extend his hands for the fans as he blows by them. He slides belly-first into the ring, before hitting the opposite ropes inside of the ring. Danny Anderson refuses to clear the ring, as Mod and Danny collide in the middle of the ring, as the Moser calls for the bell...
Zach Davis: Mod not waiting for a second, as he comes in swinging!
Gravedigger: I'd hit that idiot too, if he didn't clear the ring for me. That's wrestling etiquette 101, baby!
Danny Anderson manages to get the advantage early, as he catches Mod in the eye with a thumb, before scoring a headbutt that sends Mod reeling. Danny then scores a One-Hit Wonder on Mod, as he sends him over the ropes!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! MOD LANDED ON HIS FEET!
Zach Davis: IMPRESSIVE AGILITY!
Gravedigger: And Mod takes Danny down!
Mod drags Danny to the outside, as the referee initiates the count. Mod hits Danny with a short-arm clothesline, before whipping him into a set of steel steps outside of the ring, before climbing back into the ring, breaking the count. Mod then climbs up to the top of the turnbuckles, as Danny gets to his feet, with the referee pleading with Mod to come down from his perch, completely breaking the count he had on Danny...
Zach Davis: Is he crazy enough to go after Danny from up there?
Freddy Whoa: He'll take to the air, no doubt about that.
Gravedigger: Not this time. Danny is back in the ring, and Mod is climbing down from the turnbuckle. Damn...
Both men square off more traditionally this time, as they lock up in the ring. Mod immediately pushes Danny into the turnbuckles, where he open-hand slaps Danny in the chest, as Danny comes off the turnbuckle pretty high. Mod continues to do this, before he hip tosses Danny into the middle of the ring. Mod then jogs to the place Danny lands, going for an elbow drop...
Zach Davis: And nobody home!
Freddy Whoa: Anderson with the evasion!
Gravedigger: And now he's stomping away at Mod, who's slow to get up...
Mod regains his feet, before shoving Danny Anderson off of him. Danny responds with a shot to the face, which brings Mod down, as Danny latches on to Mod's head...
Zach Davis: COMATOSE!
Gravedigger: GERMAN SUPLEX BY MOD DEUCE! HOLDS FOR THE COVER...
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! A two-count!
Zach Davis: And Mod back on the assault. Looks as if jail has not slowed him down one bit.
Gravedigger: A guy like Mod in prison? Yeah, that's a guy who can do pretty much whatever the hell he wants. That's one benefit of being a giant man like that.
Mod picks Danny up, whipping him into a corner, before planting his boot into the throat of Danny, as the referee initiates a five-count...
Mod lets go, as the referee admonishes him for the illegal move. Mod then picks Danny up by the throat, as he blatantly chokes him again in the middle of the ring. At first the referee doesn't count, until he realizes that Mod is NOT interested in slamming him, but choking him some more. The referee grabs Mod to break the hold without a count, forcing Mod to drop Danny, who regains his breath on the ground, as Mod retaliates on the referee...
Gravedigger: Oh, bad idea...
Mod grabs the referee, slamming his head into the referees own face! Mod then grabs the referee up, before bringing him down suddenly with...
Zach Davis: DIVINE INTERVENTION ON THE REFEREE!!!
Gravedigger: JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY! MOD DEUCE HAS GONE NUTS!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! SPEAR OF DESTINY ON DANNY ANDERSON!
The bell sounds, ending the match, but Mod pays no mind, as he climbs the turnbuckles, and comes down just as fast, hitting both the referee and Danny Anderson with...
Gravedigger: FALL FROM GRACE ON ANDERSON AND MOSER!
Zach Davis: THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL! HE'S CLIMBING UP THE TURNBUCKLES AGAIN!!!
Freddy Whoa: He's pointing at the crowd and yelling! What the hell! WHOA!!!
Mod jumps off the turnbuckles as he is looking out into the crowd. He catches a lot of air, before coming down on both Danny Anderson and Moser with...
Gravedigger: ONE HELL OF A MOONSAULT!
Zach Davis: THE SWORD OF ARMAGEDDON! THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH!!!
Mod is much slower recovering this time, but continues to do so, grabbing Danny Anderson, who is barely conscious, and tucks him in between his legs for what can only be assumed to be "The Will of God", when the sound of Harley Davidson Motorcycles can be heard in the arena!!!
Freddy Whoa: And here comes the DRG!
Charlie and Connor hit the ring first, as Mod drops Danny, first hitting Charlie with a big boot, and clotheslining Connor next, before Gonzo and Gemini hit the ring. Both Gonzo and Gemini slam into Mod with various attacks, before whipping Mod into the ropes. The move backfires, as Mod knocks down both Gonzo AND Gemini on the return trip back!
Zach Davis: WOW! Mod Deuce just FLOORING the DRG right here!
Mikey eXtreme slides into the ring, and circles Mod, before flying at him. Mod catches him, and immediately powerslams him in the middle of the ring, getting to his feet, as he sees Thomas Uriel Bates stepping over the top rope...
Gravedigger: Oh, and here's one hell of a showdown, right here!!!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! MOD DEUCE BACKING OFF!
Zach Davis: Mod gets someone his own size and he backs down! Coward!
Gravedigger: No, Mod is getting out while the getting is good! He's outnumbered drastically in there! Even for a giant!
Mod clears the ring, as he shouts obscenities back at the ring, as the Defilers of Logic watch him go up the ramp. Both Charlie and Connor assist Danny to his feet, who shoves them off immediately!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! And Danny's shoving off his brothers!
Zach Davis: And Danny's pointing and shouting at Connor, now! And here comes Bates and Gonzo getting in between!
Bates grabs Connor, who complies, albeit grudgingly. Meanwhile, Danny starts shoving Gonzo back, before he shouts at him, then points at Gemini!
Zach Davis: Well, we have official word that the match has been awarded to Danny Anderson by Disqualification, but now Gemini and Danny about to get into it!
Gravedigger: Danny has a valid point in that the clown doesn't fit. And now Mikey's trying to talk sense to Danny...
Freddy Whoa: And he's just walking away!
Zach Davis: Is this really the end of Danny Anderson's membership with the DRG? Stay tuned!
The camera opened to Howard Black outside of the arena, leaning against the building and smoking a cigarette. The camera turned to show Katherine Phoenix walking towards the building from the parking lot. Howard regarded her with a smirk as she approached.
Howard Black: Back so soon. And now I gotta cancel my bet you wouldn't even show.
Katherine just looked at the man with an obviously fake smile on her face. She wasnt a fan of his, not at all.
Katherine Phoenix: You know what's even more shocking? The fact that you aren't sobbing your adorable little eyes out anymore. Did you realize that crying over something like that was just silly? I mean who cries over a match, Howie? It's stupid!
Katherine paused for a moment.
Katherine Phoenix: Although I've got to say if I was replaced by a freaking rice krispy I wouldn't be too happy either. Hmmmmmm... maybe you should go summon Tony the Tiger to help you win this battle?
The smirk left Howard's face, shortly replaced by a glare.
Howard Black: Yeah, maybe you're right, Katherine. Maybe I have a right to be pissed off about this. But at least I deserve a title shot.
Katherine sighed as she looked at Howard, her eyes very big and bright like she was currently high on sugar.
Katherine Phoenix: What is it with you wrestlers and titles? Titles are soooooooo boring! You should be all about the bears, Howie. They're so much more fun!
Howard Black: What the fuck even happened to you? Get your head kicked in and suddenly you're de-clawed.
Katherine immediately checked her nails, they were still there, still as perfectly painted and filed as always.
Katherine Phoenix: I haven't been de-clawed, they're still there. You worried me for a second there Howie!
He gave an exasperated grunt, tossing his cigarette down and crushing the smoldering butt under the heel of his boot.
Howard Black: Whatever, Katherine. You go from spit-fire to spit-or-swallow after one ass kicking. Like, really? Can't take a spoonful of your own medicine without flying off the deep end?
Katherine looked down at the discarded cigarette and then back up at Howard with a smirk on her face.
Katherine Phoenix: You know smoking is bad for you right, Howie? You should reallyyyyyy get into cookies instead. And secondly... I didn't lose my grrrrrr. I just don't have any reason to be grrrrrr anymore. Logi Bear makes me happiful, don't you want me to be happiful, Howie?
Howard Black: Yeah. Sure. Whatever.
And with that Howard walked off.
Darkness floods into the arena like air rushing into a vacuum. For several moments the crowd is left vulnerable; skittish women cling to their purses, lest some opportunistic monster comes to tear them away. Before anybody can be truly afraid, however, a blinding, ethereal light bursts from the entrance way and unnerving music begins to fill the air. The crowd sees a figure emerge onto the walkway, silhouetted against the glaring fluorescence.
Kyle Steel: The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Camden, New Jersey, weighing in at 200 pounds...VULGAR!
As he creeps his way along to the ring, several fans in the front row are able to make out his features and recoil in disgust. He slithers into the ring and into the corner as he waits for the match to start.
The lights go out and a spot light shines on the stage. "Comin' Up" by Sam Adams begins to play and gold lights start blinking around the arena. Kemp slowly walks out onto the stage and comes to a stop in the spotlight and crosses his arms. He smiles smugly at the crowd and begins to shake his head up and down.
Kyle Steel: And his tag team partner, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 210 pounds...KYLE KEMP!
He struts down the aisle glaring at fans and rolls into the ring. The lights all come back on as he extends both of his arms out to his side and begins to laugh. He walks over to the corner and leans on it as the song ends.
Kyle Steel: And introducing their opponents...
The opening bars of I'm not Like Everybody Else by the Kinks begins and Alex Richards walks towards the ring with a huge smile on his smile. He holds his doctor's bag in one hand and with the other he takes turns slapping hands, hugging, signing autographs, high fiving, and occasionally delivering a more good natured then used to hard slap to a fan's hand. He wears his rusty bed spring, or as he calls it hardcore title over his shoulder as a memorial to the days he was champion.
Kyle Steel: Currently on the way to the ring, weighing in at 345 pounds and hailing from anyplace that needs pain, suffering, pills, or Zima... "The Archduke of Mass Confusion" Alex Richards!!!
Alex eventually enters the ring after killing a few good minutes amusing himself.
Zach Davis: All right, now that we have Alex in the ring, let's find out who his partner is!
Freddy Whoa: Do we even know how he or she was picked?
Zach Davis: Well I'm sure our glorious owner, Seth Lerch, put forth a considerate amount of effort to pick a partner for Alex.
The jumbotron fires up and we're inside of Seth Lerch's office rather quickly. Seth is in the middle of playing WCF 2k15 as Freddy Whoa, part of the 24th DLC pack released.
Seth Lerch: You know, I never realized that Whoa has such a great a- HEY! What are you doing in here with that camera?!
Cameraman: It's time for you to announce who's teaming with Alex Richards.
Seth Lerch: Wait...what?! CRAP!
Seth tosses his controller to the side and bolts out of his office chair. He looks out into the hallway.
Seth Lerch: HEY! YOU! Get to the ring, you're up now!
There's a sound of a bag being dropped and before the cameraman can get to the door to see who it is, the person is long gone.
Seth Lerch: There, now get out so I can get back to my game.
Cameraman: You mean back to staring at Freddy's-
Seth Lerch: I said out!
The feed from the back cuts.
Zach Davis: Well who is it?
"Kill To Live" by Firewind begins to blast over the PA. Out from the back comes "The Cut Throat Kid" John Michaels, still in his street clothes.
Freddy Whoa: Well this is certainly interesting. John Michaels, who just signed with WCF a few hours ago, is debuting already.
Zach Davis: What an opportunity!
Richards seems a tad perplexed as he watches Michaels quickly makes his way to the ring and up the steps. Vulgar and Kemp are laughing at the predicament Richards is in, as he has to team with a complete unknown.
Freddy Whoa: Well it would seem as though Vulgar and Kyle Kemp aren't impressed. Let's see if Richards and Michaels can work together and get the win.
Kemp is out to start for his team as Richards is trying to get Michaels to step out to the apron. Michaels isn't having it as he heads out to the center of the ring. Richards now out onto the apron as the referee calls for the bell.
[DING! DING! DING!]
Kemp comes straight out of his corner and at Michaels, looking to tie-up. Kemp quickly gets the advantage and tries to spin Michaels into a hammerlock, but Michaels reverses it into a headlock. Michaels with a quick torque before flipping Kemp over and onto his back as Michaels keeps the hold on. Kemp punching at the arms of Michaels to get free but gets a knee dug into his back for his troubles.
Zach Davis: Well Michaels certainly isn't showing to be a pushover early as he has Kemp in a painful looking spot.
Kemp looks to be in a tough position but uses his legs to drag himself the few inches to the ropes before getting his ankles around the bottom rope. The referee starts up a 5 count and Michaels lets up at 3. Kemp milking it, yelling for the referee to keep Michaels back as he gets to his feet. Kemp now complaining about his neck as the referee moves to check on him.
Freddy Whoa: Well now what's this all about?
Michaels moves in to call bull on Kemp's supposed injury and Kemp pushes the referee aside before thumbing Michaels in the eye. Michaels blinded as Kemp scoops him up and slams him to the mat.
Zach Davis: Oh what a low down, dirty move!
Gravedigger: Really? That's what you call dirty?
Zach Davis: Well it certainly wasn't nice!
Michaels tries to sit up and gets a backhand chop across the chest. Kemp hits the ropes and comes back with a knee across the face. Michaels covers up as Kemp gets to his feet and heads for his corner. A quick tag and Vulgar joins Kemp in the ring. Kemp pulls Michaels up to his feet and throws him to Vulgar, who hits him with a knee to the gut. Michaels doubled over and Vulgar pulls him in before hitting him with a suplex. The referee trying to get Kemp out of the ring as Vulgar gets in a cheap rake of the eyes before going for the pin. Kemp quickly gets out of the ring as the referee goes for the count.
Zach Davis: Kickout by Michaels!
Michaels trying to get back up to his feet but Vulgar gets him in a nerve hold. Vulgar now trying to get him in body scissors as Michaels tries to get free. Vulgar gets the legs locked around the waist of Michaels as the referee quickly checks on him.
Freddy Whoa: This is a debilitating hold, can the new guy hang on?
Michaels trying to unwrap the legs of Vulgar but they're locked in tight. He turns to the hand digging into his nerves, trying to pry the fingers away from his skin as Vulgar yells for him to give up. Michaels gets hold of a finger and begins bending it backward, forcing Vulgar to decide if he wants to keep the hold locked in or have a finger broken. Vulgar goes with the former and releases the hold, but not before getting in a shot to the back of the head. Michaels gets loose from Vulgar's legs and tries to get to his corner. Vulgar gets hold of an ankle and starts to drag him backward. Michaels up onto one leg and he spins around, connecting with an enzuigiri to the side of the head.
Zach Davis: What a counter!
Michaels lands on his feet and quickly tags in the fresh Richards.
Freddy Whoa: And here comes the Archduke!
Richards comes right at a recovering Vulgar with a massive clothesline. Kemp tries to get in the ring but Richards cuts him off with a knee to the head. Richards pulls him into the ring and then takes him to the mat with a belly to belly suplex.
Zach Davis: And the big man is on a roll!
Vulgar trying to get back up to his feet and Richards gives him a hand. Richards with The Final Enlightenment and the pin attempt.
Freddy Whoa: KICKOUT BY VULGAR!
Richards tries for a second pin but Kemp dives on top of him and breaks it up. Michaels now into the ring and he dives on Kemp, shoving him away. Kemp now pushing Kemp out of the ring before exiting himself. Richards pulling Vulgar up to his feet and he's calling for the Zim-Quila Hangover.
Gravedigger: HITS IT!
Into the pin.
Zach Davis: Alex Richards and his mystery partner are able to pick up the win!
Gravedigger: Totally unfair. Kemp and Vulgar didn't know who to prepare for!
The bell sounds as Richards gets up and gets his arm raised.
Freddy Whoa: You've got to wonder if Pantheon will be recruiting after what we saw with Jayson Price earlier in the night. Perhaps this new guy will be in the running?
The camera opens on Spencer Adams walks through the curtain from his match. He has a towel around his neck and is wiping the sweat out of his eyes. We see Kyle Kemp slowly emerge from the darkness behind him. He is once again holding a black Rawlings baseball bat. He slowly walks up behind Adams and just as he takes a swing for the right knee, Adams spins to his left. Kemp gets nothing but air with the swing and stumbles forward. Adams sticks out his foot and trips Kemp as he stumbles and Kemp falls to the ground. The bat goes rolling in front of Kemp who scrambles to his feet but as he reaches for the bat, Adams grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around.
Spencer Adams: Not this time motherfucker!
Adams swings as Kemp matches him and the two begin trading blows. Security takes notice and quickly rushes over. The two break away temporarily and charge towards each other but are once again separated. We hear the staff yelling and doing their best to push the two apart as Kemp and Adams look ready to tear each other apart. Security pushes Adams into a room just off the hallway while the other security staff pushes Kemp down the hallway. Kemp continues to struggle with security as the camera fades to black.
“If I had Heart” by Fever Ray hit’s the P.A.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!!! Things are getting interesting.
Zach Davis: Here comes Mayhem
Mayhem walks out on to the ramp and makes his way down to the ring.
Crowd: BOOOOOO BOOOO
Gravedigger: That looks like one seriously anger man and I think he has something to say!
Mayhem slides under the ropes and in to the ring. Mayhem picks up a microphone that Kyle Steel dropped while he was escaping from the ring before he found himself in there with Mayhem.
Mayhem: Torture ….
Crowd: WE WANT TORTURE
Crowd: WE WANT TORTURE
Crowd: WE WANT TORTURe
Mayhem waits for the chant to die down before he address the crowd again.
Mayhem: Listen to me Torture, I do not need your help next Sunday at Asesinato De Mayo! I didn’t need your help in for the Trios Cup! I don’t know where you get off thinking we are friends! I don’t know why you think I even care about some washed up over rated jobbers opinion on the friends I keep.
Gravedigger: He has a point I don’t think he asked for any help
Freddy Whoa: This is Torture he is talking about? How can you turn down the help of the greatest Superstar we have ever seen?
Mayhem: So let me make myself perfectly clear for you Torture! If I see you come anywhere near that ring next Sunday during my match you will find yourself on a one way Cab Ride to HELL!
Freddy Whoa: Did he just threaten Torture?
Gravedigger: I think he just made him a promise!
Mayhem drops the mic, slides out of the ring and makes his way back to his dressing room.
“Whoop Whoop” by Twiztid blares over the PA system as the camera searches the crowd. It find Isaiah entering from behind the audience, as they erupt in applause. He pulls his clown face goalie mask down, hops up onto a hand railing, and dives into the crowd. They catch him, and surf him around a bit before passing him down to the ring.
Kyle Steel: Now coming to the ring, he hails from Detroit Michigan. Weighing at two hundred, fifteen pounds and standing five feet, eleven inches tall… The Juggalo Warrior Isaiah Chavis!
Isaiah slides under the bottom rope and pops to his feet, lifting the mask so he can see the fans better. He takes it off and tosses it to a fan in the front row before throwing up his hands in the shape of a “W” and a “C” and shouting “Whoop Whoop!” The fans shout it back at him, bringing a smile to his face as his music dies.
Zach Davis: Boys, here come a treat. We have Isiah Chavis taking on ZMAC.
Gravedigger: For the second time in two months. I dunno if that’s a good thing for a bag thing.
Freddy Whoa: Both these guys are really good and really well received. Chavis is doing great work for the LGBT community and giving them a strong voice in the world of sports.
Zach Davis: That is true, both men have been doing well. Except, unfortunately ZMAC has been on a skid as of late.
Gravedigger: Unfortunate is an understatement. It’s a damn tragedy. Somewhere Socrates is rolling over in his grave.
Zach Davis: Its, ah, Aeschylus.
Gravedigger: What did you call me?
Zach Davis: Aeschylus. He’s the father of dramatic tragedy- if that’s who you were referring too.
Gravedigger: what? No! Why would I refer to him? I was referring to Socrates.
Zach Davis: Wh- Why?
Gravedigger: I don’t need to explain myself to you. Geez, read a book or somethin’. This is a wrestling match not a damn library.
Freddy Whoa: But you just-
Gravedigger: I know what I said!
"Killed By Death" hits the PA system as the arena begins to fill with smoke. Them Lemmy Vocals smash the speakers as the spot light is shown ZMAC whose stand out in the middle section of the area. He begins to walk down towards the ring then gets body surfed down to the crowd barrier. He hops the barrier and slides into the ring. The Honey Badger has arrived.
Gravedigger: There he is! The Coked Up Mad Man!
Zach Davis: Lets see is the Honey Badger can turn his luck around and come out on top of Isaiah Chavis.
The two men lock up in the middle of the ring. ZMAC easily gets the upper hand and shoves Chavis away. Chavis tumbles backwards towards the turnbuckle. Chavis gets back up and charges ZMAC and tries for a hurricanrana but ZMAC counters with a powerbomb..
Zach Davis: Chavis shoves off ZMAC and escapes the powerbomb.
Freddy Whoa: And he connects with a superkick.
Zach Davis: I think ZMAC lost a tooth.
ZMAC checks his jaw before turning and charging Chavis for a spear. Chavis sidesteps and sends ZMAC into the steel post. Chavis goes over to ZMAC and climbs the turnbuckle for a series of mounted punches.
Zach Davis: Tornado DDT!
Gravedigger: ZMAC kicks out at two.
Chavis picks up ZMAC and starts hammering away with overhand right. He shoots ZMAC off the ropes..
Zach Davis: Pele kick!
Freddy Whoa: ZMAC stumbles backwards and tumbles through the ropes.
Gravedigger: That’s right,Z, take a break. Regroup.
Chavis climbs through the ropes and stands on the apron. He sizes ZMAC up and takes a running leap into a cross body!
Zach Davis: Caught by ZMAC!
ZMAC takes chavis in his arms and and crashes them into the crowd barrier. ZMAC starts hammering away with lefts and rights. Its not pretty but it puts knuckles to faces. ZMAC stands up and stomps holes in Chavis before ZMAC walks to the other end of the floor.
Zach Davis: Where is he going?
ZMAC: BOOT PARTY!
ZMAC runs and connects with a punt kick before he seamlessly hops over the barrier then back on top of it and connects with a fist drop. ZMAC picks up Chavis and rolls him back into the ring.
NOO! Kick out!
Zach Davis: Chavis kicks out at two and he stays alive in this match.
ZMAC picks Chavis up and starts hitting knees to the gut as Chavis collapses his knee. ZMAC tries to pick Chavis up again but gets a rake to the eyes.
Gravedigger: Japanese arm drag into a drop kick by Chavis.
Chavis climbs the top ropes and launches off..
Zach Davis: The Tempest!
Gravedigger: ZMAC kicks out.
Chavis picks up ZMAC and starts unloading with a series of punches that drops ZMAC to his knee.
Zach Davis: Chavis just landing kicks now; to the chest of ZMAC.
Chavis lands one more big kick to the back of the head of ZMAC. ZMAC is out of it. Chavis hits the ropes for a running knee..
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!
Gravedigger: Zombie Drop! ZMAC out of no where with that Ace Cutter!
Zach Davis: Both men are down.
The ref counts..
Gravedigger: ZMAC gets to his feet and rolls to the outside.
Zach Davis: Looks like hes digging under the ring for something.
Gravedigger: Its beer!
ZMAC stands back up with two beers and tosses one to Gravedigger.
Gravedigger: O’Douls! Shit yah! This Irish shit will get cha drunk!
ZMAC and Gravedigger crack them open for a toast before chugging them.
Gravedigger: O’ yah! I’m bombed already!
Freddy Whoa: Um Digs’?
Zach Davis: Digs’, O’ Douls is non alcoholic.
Gravedigger: I’m not an alcoholic. I just enjoy a good beer every now and again.
Zach Davis: No, the beer is not alcoholic. Its bread yeast and chocolate malt.
Gravedigger spits out the beer in dramatic and comedic fashion.
Gravediddler: Son of a bitch! Say it ain’t so, Z! Say it ain’t so! O’ God. I feel dirty.
Zach Davis: Chavis takes advantage of the situation and gets the drop on ZMAC with a corkscrew plancha.
Chavis gets to his feet and rolls ZMAC into the ring and sets up for the carnival of carnage.
Zach Davis: ZMAC moves out of the way.
Freddy Whoa: But Chavis lands on his feet.
ZMAC nails a Falcon Punch
Zach Davis: World Tour 69!
Zach Davis: ZMAC does it!
Freddy Whoa: Wait! Through the crowd, its Kaz!
Gravedigger: Kaz is the clean up krew. You want a champ, you gotta go through Imperium!
Kaz and ZMAC start laying the boots to Chavis before Kaz picks him up and nails a lubrication TWIST! And like theifs in the night they quickly exit the ring and head back through the crowd.
Gravedigger: It’s the Imperium Age, Trios or not!
Zach Davis: Alright people.... MAIN EVENT TIME!!
Gravedigger: Zachary is all amped up for this one!!
Freddy Whoa: Who wouldn't be?! We have The Sentinels verses Dark Riders Gang verses The Chrono-Rippers verses The Tag Champs.... The Poondock Saints.
Zach Davis: Eight competitors ready to tear into each other and kick the holy shit out of each other!! YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
Gravedigger: Too much caffeine there Zach?
Zach Davis: YES!! I THINK SO!!! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!
Gravedigger: The Sentinels are already in the ring.
Freddy Whoa: With Kyle Steel in the ring for the ring introduction, this match is about to get underway.
Zach Davis: YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Kyle Steel: The following match is a four way tag match. Already in the ring, weighing in at 435 pounds, Howard Black and Occulo.... THE SENTINELS!!
The sounds of several Harley-Davidson motorcycles blare over the sound system, slowly fading out. After a brief pause “Call Me the Breeze” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play. Gemini battle is the first to step up on stage, followed soon by Spencer Adams. Both men begin to walk down to the ring.
Kyle Steel: Weighing in at 385 pounds, representing The Dark Riders Gang... Gemini Battle and Spencer Adams... THE D....R.... G.....!!
The house lights dim, as "Bodies" by Drowning Pool hits the speakers. Lighter colored lights come on. The multiple cameras pan around a jam packed arena.
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!!
Zach Davis: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Hushed anticipation falls over the crowd, as the crowd begins to murmur. Strobe lights begin to flash, as bright white lasers begin as a spotlight illuminates the stage. Oblivion and Mayhem step out from behind the curtain. Several mixtures of boos and cheers goes up from the crowd. As they walk down the ramp, the cameraman gets real close, as The Chrono-Rippers sneer at the camera. Strobe lights begin to flash, as bright white lasers begin to flash. Some of the nearby crowd continue to rock out, as The Chrono-Rippers proceed to walk down the entrance ramp. Their focus is only on those in the ring.
Kyle Steel: Coming down to the ring... with a combined weight of 525 pounds... this is The Monster Oblivion, Mayhem..... THE CHRONO-RIIIIIPEEEEEERRRRSS!!
Oblivion and Mayhem circle the ring. Oblivion enters the ring, walks to a corner and climbs up to the second turnbuckle. Mayhem bolts over to another corner and also climbs up to the second turnbuckle. The Chrono-Rippers extend out their arms. The crown reacts with a mixed reaction.
Mayhem and Oblivion jump down into the ring.
Gravedigger: Now, all we have to do is wait for the WCF World Tag Team Champions.
The lights in the arena go black. A cheer comes up from the crowd and then mates with a chant, a MASSIVE IRREPRESSIBLE chant from every corner of the arena, from every poon and thick in attendance tonight.
Crowd: POON-DOCK SAINTS! POON-DOCK SAINTS! POON-DOCK SAINTS!
The excitement reaches a fever pitch. The fans froth at their collective mouths in anticipation of the thick shit that's bout it bout it, ready to cum in mere moments, though they're still shrouded in darkness save for cellphone flash bulbs so y'all can't really see it but y'all can feel it. The giddy aura of the WCF Universe is instantly impregnated by the sound of a gunshot.
"Natural Born Killaz" by Dr. Dre and Ice Cube tears through the PA system like the thickness does the poon. Simultaneously, the lights come back up in full-on strobe mode with red and green flashing all about the building in every which way. White people be dancin' the Jitterbug, but hey-- at least they gettin down to them thick gangsta rap sounds. The entire crowd is vibing, smoking phat blunts, tippin them forties, motorboatin' the biggest and baddest titties.
Kaz Mazy and Bobby Cairo emerge in the crowd, being led toward the ring by their manager Bolts Quackenbush, who's waving that Old Glory Poon Guinean Flag with the hammer and sickle and them fifty stars and thirteen bars.
Zach Davis: YOU KNOW FELLAS?!
Freddy Whoa: What Zach?!
Zach Davis: The Poondock Saints are in the house!
Freddy Whoa: But, we all know this is the thickest entrance in this business today, Zach. Look at them white folk dancin' the Jitterbug. Crazy ass white folk.
Bitches be gettin their twerk on as Dre and Cube pay tribute with homicidal lyrics. Bolts hurdles over the fan barrier, never wavering from that flag but waving it like the proud military veteran that he be. Cairo and Mazy hop over the barrier and present a united front as they wait for their match to begin.
Crowd: POON-DOCK SAINTS! POON-DOCK SAINTS! POON-DOCK SAINTS!
Bolts whipping that flag into a frenzy to accommodate the patriotic legions in attendance.
Zach Davis: Godfatherdamn, I'm proud to be a Poon Guinean. YEAHHHHHHHHHHH POON GUINEA HAS THE BEST DAMN COFFEE!!!
Freddy Whoa: Me too, Zach. Me too. Ain't no Poon Guineans ever held my ancestors as slaves. Just smashed that molten nigress poon, and that's alright with me. Hell, I do the same Godfatherdamn thang. Not with my ancestors, but you catch my drift.
Zach Davis: Yeah I do, Freddy. Yeah I do, and I wish I was as thick as you.
Freddy Whoa: Someday, Zach. Someday you will be. Sorry-- that was a lie.
Gravedigger: Alrighty then, with all that said... THIS MATCH IS UNDERWAY!!!
Zach Davis: Howard Black, Spencer Adams, Kaz Mazy and Mayhem will start off the match for their teams.
All four competitors circle the ring, before Howard Black and Spencer Adams lock up.
Zach Davis: As Howard Black and Spencer lock up in the center, of the ring, Kaz Mazy and Mayhem proceed to throw haymakers at one another.
Instantly this gets the crowd roaring!!
Freddy Whoa: Howard Black just grabbed Spencer Adams and he whips him into the corner.
Howard Black charges towards Spencer Adams.
Zach Davis: Spencer Adams moved out of the way and Howard Black runs into the turnbuckles.
Gravedigger: Spencer Adams nails Howard Black with a couple of shoulder blocks.
Kaz Mazy nails Mayhem in the gut with a boot.
Freddy Whoa: BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!
Very quickly, Mazy races over to the ropes, springboarding off....
Zach Davis: MOONSAULT!!
Gravedigger: Mayhem moves out of the way!!
Mayhem quickly goes to Kaz Mazy....
Freddy Whoa: CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!!
Kaz Mazy screams out.
Stanley Moser: Mazy wanna call it a night?
Kaz Mazy: NO!!
Stanley Moser: WANNA SUBMIT?!
Kaz Mazy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Black pushes Adams away, as Adams charges towards Howard Black once again...
Freddy Whoa: Howard Black stomps a boot in the mid-section of Spencer Adams.
Zach Davis: Howard Black has Spencer Adams in a front chancery.
Upon applying the front chin lock, Howard shakes himself back and forth, drops down, making sudden, violent movements to crank Adam's neck.
Gravedigger: Howard Black is slamming his knees and thighs against the neck and shoulders of Spencer Adams.
Black picks up Adams....
Freddy Whoa: Spencer Adams gets tossed into the ropes.
Zach Davis: Spencer Adams bounces off the ropes.
Gravedigger: Howard Black swings at his opponent, missing him.
Adams ducks away from the errant clothesline attempt, continuing running to the other end, of the ring, bouncing off the ring ropes.
Zach Davis: Spencer Adams charges towards Howard Black....
Freddy Whoa: A clothesline from Spencer Adams knocks down Howard Black.
Gravedigger: Another clothesline!!
Kaz Mazy struggles as he slowly move a small inch at a time, scraping, clawing towards the ring ropes.
Zach Davis: Just a few more inches. The excrutiating pain, on the face of Kaz Mazy.
Mazy struggles, with each of his muscles tense up, he reaches out. Just within a finger tip away from the ropes. Mayhem squeezes and wrenches on Kaz Mazy.
Mayhem: Submit, you son of a bitch!!
Kaz Mazy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Mazy reaches out....
Stanley Moser: That's it, let go Mayhem, Kaz Mazy has the ropes. ONE.... TWO.... THREE..... FOUR!!
Mayhem let's go of the Crippler crossface.
Adams attempt a third try to clothesline Howard Black, who somersaults towards Spencer Adams...
Freddy Whoa: SOMERSAULT FACEBUSTER!! Howard black is going for the pin....
Stanley Moser slides into position...
The crowd: On-.... NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Zach Davis: Pin broken up by Mayhem!!
Both men stand as Howard Black being the slight aggressor.
Gravedigger: Mayhem hits Spencer Adams with a double sledgehammer to the back.
Gravedigger: Howard Black tags in his partner Occulo. Black whips Kaz Mazy in to the ropes.
Mazy bounces off the ropes....
Zach Davis: POWERSLAM!!
Freddy Whoa: Occulo is going for the pin!!
The crowd: ONE!!
The crowd: TW.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Gravedigger: Kickout at one and a half.
Mayhem grabs Adams....
Zach Davis: Belly to Belly suplex!!
Occulo rushes over to Mayhem...
Freddy Whoa: HURRICANRANNA!!
Gravedigger: FROM OUT OF NOWHERE... KAZ MAZY DIVING DOWN MAKING CONTACT WITH OCCULO WITH A FLYING CROSSBODY!!
Zach Davis: Mayhem tags in Oblivion...
There is a mixture of cheers and boos.
Gravedigger: Clothesline on Occulo!!
Zach Davis: Another clothesline, this time it's on Spencer Adams!!
Freddy Whoa: WHOA!! Vicious clothesline!! Knocking down Kaz Mazy!!!
Oblivion grabs Spencer Adams and throws him against the ropes. Adams rushes over to the ropes, bounces off the ropes....
Gravedigger: HERE COMES AN ALREADY AMPED UP GEMINI BATTLE!!
Zach Davis: We've got to go to commercial!
As we come back...
Freddy Whoa: OCCULO HITS KAZ MAZY WITH THE SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE!
The crowd is on their feet as, literally out of nowhere, Occulo pins Kaz!
NO! KAZ KICKS OUT!
Gravedigger: DAMN! Thought that was it!
Occulo gets to his feet and Bobby hits the ring.
The Sentinels hit the ring.
Adams and Battle hit the ring.
HOWARD BLACK CLOTHESLINES 'EM OUT!
Mazy is getting up...
Zach Davis: SECOND SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE!
Occulo drops down and pins again.
Freddy Whoa: THE SENTINELS WIN IT!
Freddy Whoa: Hey...
Occulo stands up and grabs the United States Title from Kyle. The fans give Occulo a mixed reaction as he looks at the belt.
Zach Davis: The former Champ has pinned the current Champ! Dayum!
In a few moment, both Gemini Battle and Spencer Adams hit the ring. Occulo drops the belt and clears out. Gemini Battle and Spencer Adams remain in the ring, Spencer has a microphone in his hand. He goes to speak but Gemini swipes the microphone out of his hand before he could speak.
Gemini Battle: PURE EVIL!
The crowd laughs.
Gemini Battle: It has come to my attention that I have been mistranslating the word gracias...It turns out that gracias actually means thank you. So when I prevented drugs from leaving your country you were actually thanking me for it... And when I forced your mayor to resign you thanked me for that too. And that press conference I had this week in Mexicali... You weren't rioting, you were celebrating what you then called Gemini Battle Appreciation Day.
Crowd: Gracias Gemini... (clap clap clap clap clap)
Gemini Battle: You're welcome I guess. So it turns out that I don't have the time to worry about impressing you all with my evil deeds. You're already impressed by them and you love it. I'm in the finals of the Trio's Tournament and one step away from becoming the first ever Trio's Champion and one step away from becoming the number one contender for the World Championship!
The crowd cheers some more
Gemini Battle: so if the prospect of me holding title makes you cheer than cheer away. I accept your embrace and return it with my own thanks to all of you. The confidence you have instilled in me and the fun that ice been having since you turned on me for the good had been a huge reason for my success as of late. I promise that I will do my best to continue making you proud!
Crowd: Gracias Gemini !
Spencer Adams addresses the crowd in Spanish.
Spencer Adams: (in Spanish) We need your help. We've got the popo on our tails and need to get to our next venue. If I know one thing about the fans here in Mexico it's that once you get your minds on something you won't give up on it until it's fulfilled. Well, help us get outta here. Help us get out and we will reward you with a Trios Title, a US title and a US title shot in our hands after ADM. What d'ya say?
The crowd cheers as the biggest and burliest of the men get up and make their way towards the ring. There must be at least 100 of them. Security can't stop the rush as Gemini leads them towards the exit ramp.
They make their way towards the exit and meet up with the remaining members of DRG. Then they make their way to the garage. The DRG mount their bikes and Danny gets in his Dodge Charger. They open the garage doors and it is surrounded by la policia.
The big Mexican men rush forward and attack all the police officers, overwhelming them with sheer force and numbers and clear a path for the bikes and car to get out. Once they get clear they a separate paths, splitting up and going different directions into the desert.
After the commercial, Occulo and Howard Black remain in the ring, having played to the fans during the break. As The Sentinels start to leave the ring "Destruction Overdrive" by Black Label Society hits the P.A. System signaling the arrival of Danny Anderson and the lights flicker in accordance while the tune plays through the airwaves.
Zach Davis: Here comes Danny Anderson! Who knows what this guy is about to do, he’s becoming one of the most unorthodox superstars on the roster.
Freddy Whoa: And he’s gotten into a Twitter “war” with another unorthodox superstars in the form of Occulo.
A figure steps out onto the stage but it isn’t Danny Anderson who is nowhere to be seen. The figure turns out to be Jason Dean, the new manager of Danny Anderson with a microphone in hand.
Gravedigger: Who hell is this guy?
Zach Davis: Its Danny’s new manager, Jason Dean.
Freddy Whoa: Yeah, Danny dropped DRG’s Manager in favor of his childhood friend.
Gravedigger: Who cares…the only two things I’m interested in is one, where the hell is Danny and two what is that ungodly structure hanging above the ring.
Camera pans to the top of the arena where we see a large square structure modeled after a prison cell hanging above the ring.
Zach Davis: I think that’s what Occulo and Danny are fighting in at Asesinato De Mayo.
Freddy Whoa: Maybe that’s why “The Dean of Professional Wrestling” has decided to come out here, to enlighten us all.
Dean points to the prison cell structure and smiles before speaking.
Jason Dean: My name is Jason Dean and in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last couple weeks, I am the new manager of WCF Superstar Danny Anderson. I’ve decided to take the time here tonight and come out here and address Occulo’s call out to my client.
Occulo and Howard Black look up at the structure above the ring.
Jason Dean: What you see hanging above you gentlemen is what you’ll be facing Danny in, Occulo dear boy. The structure itself is 16 ft high, 36 ft in diameter, and has about 6 short tons (5,400 kg) of barbed wire wrapping around the open top. You wanted a barbed wire cage match Occulo? Well there you go.
Zach Davis: Oh my god, just look at that structure.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! It looks like Danny and Occulo are going to put each other through hell and then some when they step foot into that at Asesinato De Mayo!
Dean hold his finger in the air.
Jason Dean: But wait! That’s not all. This past week while reflecting over what a big match this is for my client Danny Anderson, and the toll it could possibly take on his career, let alone his body. I got to thinking. Such a big match deserves an incentive don’t you think?
Occulo screams “Get to the point!”
Jason Dean: Alright, alright, calm your horses mate. So then to what I was saying, the winner of this barbaric barbed wire cage match will receive a United States title shot!
Zach Davis: Whoa! That’s pretty big! The winner of Danny vs. Occulo will have the chance to go on and face either Kaz Mazy or Mikey eXtreme who meet in a United States title match at Asesinato De Mayo.
Freddy Whoa: Hey that’s my line! But still…WHOA!
Occulo grins at Howard with a look of satisfaction upon his face. After hearing Jason’s news Howard leaves Occulo in the ring and heads to the back while Occulo banters to the crowd about going on to ADM and beating Danny becoming the new contender for the United States title. Finally Occulo turns to leave.
Jason Dean: Oh and Mr. Occulo, one more thing before you leave…I got another surprise for you.
Dean pulls a cell phone out of his pocket and pushes a button causing the lights in the arena to go out.
Zach Davis: Hey who turned out the lights?
Freddy Whoa: YEAH!
Gravedigger: What’s the matter babies? Scared of the dark.
A clank is heard as the structure begins lowering itself down to the ring. After a minute the lights come back on.
Zach Davis: It’s Danny! He’s in the ring! He appeared after Jason Dean somehow turned off the lights in the arena!
Freddy Whoa: And look! He managed to lower the prison cell structure in the meantime. Occulo and Danny are locked within!
Danny turns Occulo around.
Danny Anderson: Occulo! HEY OCCULO! How ya doing buddy?! (laughs) Surprised to see me?
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Danny and Occulo start an all-out brawl in the middle of the ring as they pummel each other with punches, gut shots, and kicks.
Zach Davis: And here they go! They’re beating the hell out of each other before their match.
Freddy Whoa: In a structure like that, might as well take the chance to injure your opponent now instead of later.
Gravedigger: Heh, good stuff.
We go to commercial as WCF backstage agents, referees, and some jobbers come down to the ring trying to enter the structure to break up Danny and Occulo. Coming up next is the contract signing for the impending World title match between Dune and Natural ICE Beckman.
Zach Davis: ALRIGHT GUYS! IT'S TIME!
Freddy Whoa: Contract signing between Dune, the man that won three PPV matches in a row to become the Trilogy Cup winner... and ICE Beckman, the man that brought the ICE Age, the precursor to the Imperium Age.
Gravedigger: Here we go-
The feed cuts from the announcers to the live arena...
Zach Davis: WAIT!
Freddy Whoa: THAT'S CRAWL BY KINGS OF LEON!
Gravedigger: Ugh. I know that music.
Zach Davis: TORTURE!!!!!
The crowd roars and begins chanting.
Crowd: TORTURE! TORTURE! TORTURE!
Zach Davis: TORTURE IS IN THE BUILDING!
Crowd: TORTURE! TORTURE! TORTURE!
Freddy Whoa: The most beloved World Champion of all time, Zach! He's here!
Zach Davis: It isn't time for ICE Beckman or Dune after all! Let's get some Torture!
Instead of Torture hitting the arena, we go backstage, where Torture is live with Kyle Steel!
Kyle Steel: Torture!
Torture nods. He pauses and lets the fans chant his name.
Crowd: TORTURE! TORTURE! TORTURE!
Kyle is about to ask a question before Torture grabs his mic.
Torture: Kyle! Let me stop you. I know what you were going to ask.
Kyle was given a second microphone now.
Kyle Steel: Do you?
Torture: Yep. Am I a great WCF World Heavyweight Champion... or THE GREATEST WCF World Heavyweight Champion!?
Pop from the crowd.
Torture: WELL KYLE, I'M THE GREATEST!
Crowd: HE'S THE GREATEST! CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP! HE'S THE GREATEST! CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP!
Torture: But Kyle, tonight, I'm not just Torture. I'm the Wrestling Genie, Kyle. You've got three wishes, and each wish is to ask me a question. You've already asked one question, so you've got two more. Ask away, Kyle. Make em good.
Kyle takes the mic, a bit nonplussed.
Kyle Steel: Well Torture, we know you're going to be at Asesinato De Mayo-
Torture snatches Kyle's second mic.
Torture: RIGHT HERE IN MEXICO CITY, MEXICO!
The crowd pops! Kyle is given a third microphone.
Kyle Steel: And you're going to be in Marc Mayhem's corner in his Hardcore Title match. My first question-
Torture grabs the mic.
Torture: This is your second question, Kyle.
Torture throws the mic away; Kyle is given a forth.
Kyle Steel: ...Okay then, my second question is this. How does it feel for the man who put the Hardcore Championship on the map to be a part of a match to decide the future of WCF's hardcore division?
Torture: Well Kyle, it feels great. For a long time, fans have told me that I'm the greatest World Champion in WCF history. But if I felt particularly nice I'd talk to the fans a little bit more, and they'd eventually tell me that I was also the greatest Hardcore Champion in WCF history, too. So to give back to WCF and to give back to the fans and give the Hardcore division the attention it deserves? It's my honor, Kyle. It's my honor.
Kyle Steel: Then my third question-
Torture grabs his mic and throws it away. Kyle is handed another.
Kyle Steel: What?! I said third question! I got it right that time!
Torture: I don't care! CoolWear, Inc., my company, has just bought stocks in the company that supplies WCF microphones! The more microphones I destroy the higher my stocks go!
Torture casually tosses his microphone off camera. Somewhat annoyed now, Kyle is given one last microphone.
Kyle Steel: My final question... what do you feel about what Marc Mayhem said earlier tonight?
Torture: I don't know, Kyle, what did he say earlier tonight?
Kyle Steel: ...You didn't hear it?
Torture: I was too busy signing autographs for fans, Kyle. Marc Mayhem is a great competitor, though, and I have a pretty good idea of what he most likely said. Marc Mayhem, you're welcome! You're welcome for the opportunity to wrestle with me in your corner. You're gonna be the next Hardcore Champion, son! See you next week!
Torture grabs Mayhem's last mic and tosses both that one and Torture's own out of scene as we go back to Zach, Freddy and Gravedigger.
Zach Davis: Uh... okay then! Torture, everybody!
Gravedigger: Can we get to our contract signing, please?
Zach Davis: Well here we go, a contract signing for next week’s World Title match.
Freddy Whoa: Whoa...I mean Whoa!
Gravedigger: Calm down Freddy; it isn’t that crazy.
Freddy Whoa: Sorry, I was talking about how the blonde in the first row just winked at me.
Gravedigger: She was winking at me, not you! So keep it in your pants Freddy.
The lights flicker to black and the opening chords of Angelo Badalamenti's "The Pink Room" hit in the darkness. Smoke pours out in front of the deep red lights just beyond the entrance. Two golden spotlights slowly scan the audience as Dune clears the curtain and emerges from the smoke. His cold eyes remain fixed on the ring as he makes his way down the ramp.
Zach Davis: And here comes Dune, a man who is a week away from his biggest match in WCF when he faces Natural ICE for the World Title.
Freddy Whoa: A title shot he earned by pinning Jay Omega who pinned ICE at XIII.
Dune heads up the ring steps and takes his time to enter the ring. Looking over the table and chairs set up in the ring before heading to the other side of the ring to wait for the champ to arrive.
Gravedigger: I will give Dune this, he looks confident.
Zach Davis: And rightfully so.
Gravedigger: Alright, don’t get too excited Zach, he still has an entire ICE AGE to bring down.
The arena is quiet with the lights all on when over the PA system you hear a man ask, "Are you Drunk yet?" as the crowd responds with a cheer "Feels Good Inc." by The Gorillaz hits the speakers. The lights begin to flash blue and white as two cannon shot of fake snow shoot out from the entrance area. Out from the snow comes Natural ICE Beckman holding a beer in one hand and the World title in the other. He chugs the last half of the beer, then crushes the beer in his hand before tossing it into the crowd.
Zach Davis: And here comes the WCF World Champion in all his greatness.
Gravedigger: What the hell Zach? You insulting our Champ?
Zach Davis: I wouldn’t even think about it.
Gravedigger: And if you do, don’t forget I can end you with a punch.
Freddy Whoa: Things are getting tense at the broadcasting desk...like Whoa!
ICE walks into the ring, a smile on his face as he and Dune lock eyes. The two warriors of the squared circle keep up their eye contact as Hank Brown finds a mic in order to narrate this for the fans at home and in attendance.
Hank Brown: Natural ICE Beckman...Dune...next week at Asesinato De Mayo you are going to face for the WCF Heavyweight World Championship Belt!
The crowd pops big time for that!
Hank Brown: Now gentlemen if you would both place take your place at the table.
ICE is quick to sit down at the table while Dune takes a moment to look around before taking his place in the seat across from ICE. Hank slides the contract in between the two wrestlers before bringing the mic back to his mouth.
Hank Brown: Now if both of you-
ICE grabs the mic from Hank.
ICE: Dude, shut the hell up already!
The crowd pops big time for ICE.
ICE: Let’s get this over already, I have a case of beer to drink and Dune, well Dune I am sure you have some mask cleaning to get to or-
Dune rips the mic away from ICE!
Dune: Enough, ICE! The WCF is done with you! I am done with you! You come out here each week and squeak by! You think you some sort of great gift to Wrestling, but you are nothing more than a joke! We all love to laugh at your comics, but truly the one thing we all love to laugh at more than that is you losing! And next week I plan to have the entre WCF in stiches at you lay defeated and I stand above you with the WCF World Title in MY HANDS!!!
Dune drops the mic on the table and quickly picks up the pen. Meanwhile ICE, who is still smiling, grabs the mic.
ICE: Well put Dune...except if I was you I would sign that contract right now...like RIGHT NOW! Because well...
ICE looks towards the big screen to see Buddy Roman waving and smiling as he drives a forklift in front of the Sentinels locker room door.
Zach Davis: Buddy just pinned the rest of the Sentinels team in their locker room!!!
Dune is quick to his feet but sees ICE offering him the pen. He quickly grabs it and signs the contract before starting towards the back when “Maggie’s Farm” by Rage Against the Machine starts to play over the arena speakers. Dune looks around, he sees ICE smiling back at him and then he sees Bobby Cairo, Zombie McMorris, Joey Flash, Kaz Monstuh and Odin Balfore exiting from the crowd in order to surround him in the ring.
Zach Davis: IMPERIUM IS HERE!!!
Freddy Whoa: Not the first time we have said that tonight.
Gravedigger: And rightfully so!
ICE Beckman grabs the mic as Imperium begins to surround Dune in the ring,
ICE: I guess we will call this just another ICE AGE lesson.
Dune slides over the table and gets a few good shots in on ICE before Imperium gains control of the attack and begins to give Dune a true stomp down. Dune fights back as best he can, but soon he is overwhelmed with kicks and punches.
Zach Davis: This is just another straight up attack by Imperium tonight!
After a few stomps Dune is weak enough to be dragged to his feet. Imperium then tosses his lifeless body towards ICE Beckman who is quick to grab him, throw him high into the air and slam him down through the table with a Beer Bong!!
Freddy Whoa: Whoa! What a statement right there by the World Champ!
Gravedigger: A statement to top off a night of Imperium!
The Imperium stable begins to gather around the fallen body of Dune with a pleased look when “Master of Puppets” by Metallica hits and Seth is quick to walk out onto the stage.
Seth: Cut my music...Enough of this...Imperium will not take over a show of mine without consequences! So this big night of yours won’t go unpunished and I am here to make sure of that...so at Asesinato De Mayo...Joey Flash...Bobby Cairo...you are both banned from competing!!!
Zach Davis: Joey Flash and the Godfather are off the card for Asesinato De Mayo!
Freddy Whoa: Whoa!
Gravedigger: Seth just hurt his own checkbook with that move!
Zach Davis: And by the look on Seth’s angry face, it was necessary for his federation.
Gravedigger: And by the look on ICE’s face and especially Dune’s...it was worth it for the sake of Imperium.
Imperium stands tall in the ring as the show comes to an end.