the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio
The camera opens on Hank Brown standing in the middle of the ring. The ring has a table in the middle with a contract sitting on a clipboard on it. The table is surrounded by Kyle Kemp, Teo Del Sol and Mikey eXtreme. Brown is smiling as the camera pans in on him.
Hank Brown: In one week we will have out event entitled Ultimate Showdown where every title in the company will be on the line! We will see new champions, teams and wrestlers ascending to new heights. One of those wrestlers that could ascend to a new height is the winner of the number one contenders triple threat match! The winner of that matchup will have the opportunity to face the World Champion at Revenge! In that match we will have three wrestlers that have been working towards this opportunity for years but have never gotten a shot at the World Title. Which one of these men will take that next step? We will soon find out but before we can do that, we must sign the contract! So let me introduce to you the three men that will fight in that matchup. First is Kyle Kemp!
Kemp takes a step forward and nods to the crowd.
Hank Brown: Then is Teo Del Sol!
Teo turns and hops up onto the turnbuckle and starts waving to the crowd. Cheers fly down from the rafters as Kemp and Mikey roll their eyes.
Hank Brown: Last but certainly not least is Mikey eXtreme!
Mikey just stares blankly at the crowd as the crowd boos.
Hank Brown: Now let me remind all of you....
Mikey walks over and rips the microphone out of Hank Browns hands. He waves Brown out of the ring and Brown shrugs his shoulders and leaves. Mikey turns and looks at his two competitors with a smile.
Mikey eXtreme: We don't need Hank in here to tell us how important this match between all of us is at Ultimate Showdown. Each and every one of us knows what is at stake come Ultimate Showdown. We all want to be World Champion. We all want to be the top guy. I know Kemp does because I've been teaming with him for a couple months and while he might be an unsufferable jackass, I know that he is going to do whatever it takes to win this match. I know he knows that I will do the same. That is what makes us the hottest tag team in this dub right now. That is why we are going to take you out first Teo and then we are going to settle the debate on which one of us is the better in this team.
Kemp smiles but walks over to the side of the ring and asks for a microphone.
Kyle Kemp: That is the thinking that helps us work together because we are on the same page. My mother once taught me that you do whatever it takes to win and you do it by any means necessary. I know that I've been doing a few good deeds the past few weeks and seem like I've softened a bit, but that isn't in the ring. You can be the world's nicest guy outside the ring but when we get in the ring, I'm still the biggest dick that this industry has ever seen because all I want is to win. All I want is to be better than all of you. That is why Mikey is right. We are going to take you out Teo. Sorry bro but that's the truth.
Zach Davis: Well these two aren't even trying to hide the fact that this is a glorified handicap match!
Teo has a mic tossed into him and he smirks.
Teo: Well you didn't say anything that I wasn't expecting. Do you all think that I'm scared? I'm not. I made a vow when Jared Holmes was World Champion to bring prestige back to that title and I made a vow to bring honor back to this company. I have not forgotten that and I'm going to give everything I've got at Ultimate Showdown to walk out the number one contender. I know it's an uphill climb with both of you in this match but I'm not scared! That is why....
Teo reaches down and signs his name to the contract.
Teo: I'm signing first!
Kemp and Mikey both smile and pull out different writing utensils from their pockets. Mikey has a sharpie and Kemp has a case. Mikey grabs the contract and signs with the permanent marker. Kemp rolls his eyes at Mikey and opens up the case. Inside is a nice ballpoint pen that was given to him long ago. He takes the time to make sure his signature looks good and then looks up at Teo. Mikey has made his way over to Teo with a smile as Teo realizes what is happening.
Kyle Kemp: Like I said....by any means necessary.
Mikey charges forward towards Teo but is stunned when Teo hits him with a back body drop. Teo hops over the table and hits Kemp with a right hand. Both men start exchanging punches when Mikey charges towards Teo. Mikey slams Kemp with a shot and Kemp flies over the top rope with Mikey's momentum carrying him outside. Teo quickly climbs the turnbuckle and jumps onto Kemp and Mikey as they are struggling to stand up. Both men are down and Teo climbs back into the ring, motioning across his waist that he will be champion as Kemp and Mikey get back to their feet. Teo is celebrating while Kemp and Mikey are in each other's face arguing over what went wrong.
Zach Davis: I can't wait to see what happens with these three at Ultimate Showdown!
The camera quicly fades to commercial
Dawson Creek vs Trea Clegane
Kyle Steel: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…from Capeside…standing 6’1 and weighing 200 pounds…already in the ring and making his WCF Debut…DAWSONNNNN CREEEEEEK!
A polite pop from the crowd as Dawson raises his arms.
Zach Davis: Dawson Creek is a newly signed wrestler to the WCF roster. Not a whole lot of hype for the young man, but our scouts tell us he’s technically gifted with a helluva head on his shoulders. The type of guy you want backstage.
Freddy Whoa: He might have a helluva head on his shoulders, but take a look at that coiffure! Beautiful locks, Zach! The kid is a natural talent! If he sprouts strands like that on the dome, imagine how beautiful his pubes are!
Zach Davis: No doubt about it, Freddy!
Kyle Steel: And his opponent…from the Dark Ages…standing a towering 6’7…weighing a menacing 310 pounds with an eight percent body fat…making his way down to the ring…TREAAAAAAAA CLEEEEEEE-GANEEEEEEE!
Gregorian chants followed by the rhythmic pounding of drums play over the speakers. A massive mountain of a man makes his way down the ramp, leaving imprints of his size 17 shoe into the steel with every step. Clegane is wearing black tights and a black cutoff shirt. His greasy long black hair swings from side to side over his unshaved face. He is a man who smells like greased chicken and body odor.
Freddy Whoa: Will you take a look at this thing, Davis?!
Zach Davis: That has got to be the most intimidating man I’ve ever seen!
Freddy Whoa: That’s not a man, Davis! That’s a science experiment gone horribly awry! That’s what would happen if Hagrid from Harry Potter injected testosterone directly into his testicles! Look how vascular this man is, Davis! He’s got veins a heroin addict would kill for! Imagine how veiny his cock is!
Zach Davis: Yep!
A buzz sweeps the arena in anticipation of watching Clegane go to work. He’s a sideshow attraction, and the crowd undoubtedly wants to watch him destroy a man half his size in a bonafide squash match. The two men step up in the ring and the bell rings, the crowd on their feet in anticipation.
Zach Davis: Creek certainly has his work cut out for him. How does Dawson win this match, Freddy?
Freddy Whoa: By praying? I’m not sure, Zach. What advantage does Creek have over Clegane? Speed? Well, they’re in a fifteen foot enclosed space. It’s like asking a fly to beat a bear. The fly might be able to escape for a while, but there isn’t a way for the fly to take down the bear.
Zach Davis: What about Creek’s technical prowess?
Freddy Whoa: If he can get Clegane on the ground, he has a chance.
Creek circles the ring slowly, sizing up his opponent and trying to find the precise angle to attack. Clegane stands straight up with his arms down, welcoming Creek. Creek puts his head down and charges forward, attacking Clegane’s midsection with a few blows before two powerful forearms smash down onto Creek’s back. Creek immediately falls to a knee.
Freddy Whoa: Just snapped two vertebrae with those shots, Davis!
Clegane grabs Creek by the head with both hands and lifts him up, throwing him across the ring. Creek immediately gets up and charges at Clegane again, this time launching a cross body assault at Clegane, who catches him mid-air and jerks him into an overhead press before launching him up in the air.
Zach Davis: What an exhibition of strength by Clegane!
Freddy Whoa: I wonder if Creek hit his head on the roof! Clegane must’ve launched him fifteen feet in the air!
Clegane falls to the ground and buries a knee into Creek’s back and maneuvers into a chin lock. Creek lets out a yell of pain. After a few moments, Clegane releases the hold and lifts Creek up by the head. Clegane whips Creek into the ropes and on the return, catches Creek for a swinging wraparound slam.
Zach Davis: I’m told Clegane is a world champion in strongman competitions and a marvelous athlete who was highly recruited for his physical attributes.
Freddy Whoa: Yeah, Zach. Out of highschool, he had offers to play tight end at Alabama under Nick Saban, power forward at Kentucky under John Calipari, and mercenary for ISIS under Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi!
Clegane grabs Creek by the head again and lifts him up. With Creek wobbily, Clegane delivers a monster headbutt. Creek falls back into the ropes, and on the return, is lifted into a powerslam. Creek wriggles free. Now behind Clegane, Creek delivers a rapid fire of blows to Clegane’s back. Clegane seems unphased and turns around. Creek backs away to reset. The men are back to square one, although Clegane has certainly inflicted the most damage.
Zach Davis: Creek survives the first round of this bout, an accomplishment all things considered!
Freddy Whoa: He may have survived, but like the fly and the bear, there’s no hope. Creek did no damage to Clegane in that stretch. Not a winning formula. He needs to come up with something quick, or just lay down now to escape any potentially permanent damage to his body.
Back at it, Creek again sizes up Clegane, who is a little more eager and hungry to inflict damage. With a snarl on his face, Clegane leans forward ready for attack. Creek jabs his foot forward with a potential attack, and Clegane leans frontward, his massive momentum unplanting his feet. Creek ducks back, and trying to register what’s happening, Clegane is vulnerable. Creek delivers a quick dropkick to Clegane’s knee. As Clegane grabs his knee, Creek gets up and delivers another. And Creek gets up again, and delivers a third and final dropkick, which brings Clegane to his knee. Clegane’s knee hitting the canvass causes a stir in the arena. The crowd his excited to see the underdog taking some agency and making it competitive.
Zach Davis: And the big man’s knee hits the canvass!
Freddy Whoa: An achievement for Creek, no doubt! But he needs to capitalize!
Creek delivers a flurry of karate kicks to Clegane’s shoulders and body. Clegane braces for the kicks, trying to protect himself. Clegane is unable to focus on getting up amidst the attack. Creek sizes up Clegane’s head for one final shot, a booming kick to Clegane’s melon that makes a hollowing sound that echoes through the arena and elicits a chorus of ooh’s from the crowd.
Zach Davis: Clegane will need some Advil tomorrow!
Freddy Whoa: He’s got some scrambled eggs in his head right now, I’ll tell you that.
Clegane is still holding onto a knee, dizzily trying to collect himself. Creek falls back onto the ropes and springs forward, launching himself in the air for an axhandle attack. But Clegane reaches forward, his massive hand catching Creek by the neck, squeezing the air out of the smaller man.
Zach Davis: Uh-oh!
Creek begins trying to unload punches at Clegane, but they are inconsequential. With a grip on his throat, Creek’s power quickly diminishes and Clegane is able to rise up. Like a cat with a mouse, he begins examining his prey and figuring out what to do next. Clegane ultimately decides to lift Creek up high into the air, his outstretched arm raising Creek to over ten feet.
Zach Davis: Chokeslam!
But Creek slips the slam. Again behind Clegane, this time Creek jumps on Clegane’s back and wraps his legs around Clegane’s body for a sleeper hold. Clegane, panicking, backs his body into the turnbuckle at full speed. But Creek holds on with all his might, using his forearm to apply pressure across Clegane’s throat. Clegane comes back out and spins around the ring, trying to get Creek to dismount from his back. No dice.
Zach Davis: And Creek has a mean sleeper hold locked in on the big man!
Freddy Whoa: That’s one way to defeat a big man! Put him to sleep and hit the snooze button!
Clegane’s outstretched arms begin to fade. After a solid minute in the hold, he falls to a knee. The crowd goes wild.
Zach Davis: Folks, we have to go to a commercial break, but stay tuned! You don’t want to watch this riveting match!
Freddy Whoa: Or if you’re watching on DVR, just fast-forward the commercials!
[An old, short, hairy Italian man in a gray polo with a gold crucifix necklace appears in a warehouse.
Fecera: (Italian accent) Hi, I am Fecera. Come to my furniture outlet on Kutztown Road and buy discount furniture to make part of your home. Good deals, affordable financing, comfortable furniture.
Fecera gives two thumbs up and a toothy grin. WCF comes back on.
Zach Davis: Welcome back to Slam, folks. We have a modern day David v. Goliath before our eyes. A story as old as time, a result we all intuitively know is coming, and yet, without fail, one we will always be mesmerized by! Dawson Creek, your next door neighbor, not just in a battle with the epitome of combat sports, but in the lead! Freddy, tells us how we got here so far!
Freddy Whoa: Well Zach, Dawson Creek got off to a rough start, but in hindsight, he sacrificed his body and let Trea Clegane get too comfortable. Clegane took the early advantage with his strength, but after he tasted a bit of blood, he lost his composure and became vulnerable. Creek has played it methodically since then.
Zach Davis: I’m sure there are few who thought Creek could even make it this far against Clegane.
Freddy Whoa: My father used to work for a contractor, and when the crew would need to demolish a building, they attacked the instability in the foundation. They identified weakspots and economized ways to bring the building down. Creek duped Clegane into losing his footing, then attacked a knee. Then Creek used kicks to weaken Clegane’s body and open up a shot to his head, which was massive and preemptive to wear we are now.
Zach Davis: Yes, Creek has applied a helluva sleeper hold on Clegane thus far, a seven minute hold that’s seen the big man go from standing up to down on his hands and knees. Tell us, Freddy, what makes the sleeper hold so effective?
Freddy Whoa: The great thing about the sleeper hold is that size, strength, athletic ability, and any other physical variables are out the window. It’s a simple hold with a simple explanation that’s effective no matter who applies it. The left forearm wraps just under the opponent’s chin, applying pressure to the throat. The right forearm, from behind, pushes the head forward and the neck into the left forearm. As a result, pressure is put on the carotid artery and jugular vein, and circulation of oxygen and blood are cut off, resulting in the victim losing consciousness or ‘falling asleep.’
Zach Davis: Excellent explanation, Freddy. It looks like all Clegane needs is a bottle of his mom’s titty milk and a nice blanket!
Clegane is on his side, his eyes red and almost bulging from his head. Creek still has the sleeper locked in, himself in an uncomfortable position, but not willing to relent. Clegane’s arm is still hovering parallel to the ground, a few feet up. He is hanging on for dear life. After another minute, his arm falls. Veteran referee Stanley Moser positions himself for a count.
Zach Davis: Could this be it for Clegane? Could David once again take down Goliath?!
Moser uses both arms to lift Clegane’s large arm up and let’s go. It drops to the canvass.
ONEEEEEEE, the crowd shouts.
One, Moser signals to the crowd. He lifts up Clegane’s arm again. It drops.
TWOOOOOOOOOO, the crowd shouts.
Two, Moser signals to the crowd. He lifts Clegane’s arm once more, holding it for dramatic effect, the crowd’s cheering building up, clapping and whistling for what they might see, a giant falling to the common man. Is this it? He let’s go.
THREE!!!! The crowd bursts in cheer!
Zach Davis: YES!
Three, Moser signals to the crowd, followed by a bell ringing and an announcement from WCF ring announcer Kyle Steel.
Kyle Steel: The winner of this match by Techincal Knockout….DAWSONNNNNN CREEEEEEEEK!!!!
Creek let’s go of the hold and rolls over, emotionally and physically spent from putting the giant to sleep. He slowly rises to his feet, has his armed raised by Moser, and exits the ring. The crowd gives him a healthy round of applause as he leaves.
Television Title Match
Jim Brantelli vs John Rabid
When Slam comes back from commercial, we find that the Television Championship contender; Jim Brantelli is already warming up in the ring. Having made his entrance during the break.
Kyle Steel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the WCF Television Championship. Introducing first, from Phoenix, Arizona-- the Hellraiser… JIM BRANTELLI!!!
“Death Breath - Toxic Avenger Remix” by Bring Me The Horizon hits as a huge pyrotechnic barrage explodes around the jumbotron. As the smoke clears, we see John Rabid standing tall; arms outstretched as he spins on the spot with the Television Title strapped around his waist.
Kyle Steel: .... and now. From London, England-- He is the reigning and defending WCF Television Champion. The Ripper, JOHNNNNN RAAAAABIDDDDDDD!!!
Rabid struts down the ramp, snarling and gnashing his teeth at a stray cameraman as his name appears on a Slam Graphic. Meanwhile, Rabid's 'tron plays in the background; it's The Ripper hitting the Kingdom Destroyer on a cavalcade of doomed jobbers, this scene is intercut with footage of Lon Chaney in Tod Browning's "London After Midnight" (1927).
Freddy Whoa: Well, he’s been Television Champion since defeating Sebastian Knight back in the Spring. Now, he’s finally getting a chance to upgrade that strap for the World Championship in the Ultimate Showdown match… but only if he can get past a hungry Jim Brantelli tonight!
Zach Davis: That Television Title is defended each and every episode of Slam! Meaning this will indeed be John’s final hurdle before being able to sleep soundly in the knowledge that he’s in the Showdown. But we’re going to see tonight if that brutal schedule he’s been keeping to since capturing the belt has taken it’s toll.
Rabid reaches the ramp and climbs the turnbuckle, inhaling the boos from the crowd before taking off his black trench-coat, shades, title belt and walking over to his corner. He hands the props of his entrance and the belt that’s on the line to Kyle Steel, who signals to the timekeeper in turn and gets this match started.
*Ding Ding Ding*
As the start of the match sounds, both men step out of their corners and slowly walk towards the center of the ring. Brantelli bounces back and forth, loose and ready to get down to business. John on the other hand, he walks slowly with a look of cockiness on his face and but confidence in his step. Once standing in the center of the ring, the two stand toe to toe, Rabid sneers and snarls at his relatively new opponent. Standing in silence but staring at him with a look that screams bloody murder as the crowd begins to grow louder and louder in the background.
Freddy Whoa: If you’re John Rabid right now, you’ve gotta be looking for a quick win tonight. I don’t think anybody else who’ll be competing in the Showdown match is even in the building.
Zach Davis: But if you’re Jim Brantelli, you’ve gotta know that the Champion’s head is probably already focused on the PPV. If there was ever going to be a time to pull off a heist of this calibre-- you’re looking at it.
Catching everyone off guard, Rabid extends his hand for a shake. Surprised by the gesture, Brantelli slowly looks down at John's hand before looking back into the Ripper's eyes. Hesitant at first, Jim then extends his hand but as he does, the Serpent uncoils and catches him off guard with an enziguri to the side of the head. Knocking the Hellraiser off balance and down to his knees, Rabid twists the arm, looking to pull what he would class as a rookie in with an early attempt at the Destroyer. Brantelli blocks it though, dropping to a single knee and turning his body into dead weight, using his free hand to grab the ropes and force the break.
Freddy Whoa: Well, he fell for the oldest trick in the book, but at least he blocked the Destroyer.
Zach Davis: … for now, at least.
Before Brantelli can regain his composure, Rabid takes off from stand still and charges the corner full speed, nearly taking Jim’s head off with a running clothesline. With the ref’s view blocked by the champ’s body, Rabid then locks up with Brantelli and digs his thumb into the challenger’s eye. Ripping his head away from John's clutches, Jim immediately covers his wounded eye with one hand, temporarily blinded by the dirty move. Seeing an opportunity, Rabid then kicks the Hellraiser in his unguarded gut, knocking the air right out from his lungs before hitting a fluent sequence that begins with a snapmare out of the corner, and climaxes as the Ripper runs up the corner himself and flips out with a blockbuster of sorts to his seated opponent. Brantelli’s face meets the mat with a splat and the Serpent; Pantheon’s Ace, hooks the outside leg and begins to preemptively celebrate another successful defence.
Freddy Whoa: Looks like John’s going to have to work a little harder still if he wants to get into Ultimate Showdown unscathed.
Zach Davis: It’s still a travesty that he’s being made to defend the belt tonight. Nobody else is even booked here tonight, literally nobody-- not one champion.
Unhappy, John pulls his opponent away from the corner, up to his feet and quickly spins him around to lock in an abdominal stretch. With the move fully locked, he then begins to crank down on the pressure, trying to tear a muscle in Jim’s torso and win by submission or stoppage. Putting up a struggle, Brantelli squirms to break free, finally doing so by grabbing the ropes and again forcing the break. Vicious as ever, Rabid lives up to his name-- elbowing the newcomer in the side of the temple three times, quickly in succession.
Freddy Whoa: Rabid’s not wasting a minute here tonight. He just wants this match over with so he can start preparing for the biggest spectacle of the Summer.
Zach Davis: Ultimate Showdown, coming to you live! From the Richmond Coliseum, one week from tonight! But who will be Television Champion when we get back to Virginia?
Bemused by what has transpired thus far, Rabid snarls as he snatches Brantelli up to his feet and connects with two left, a right and a complimentary low kick to the quad. He spins on the spot, looking to land a discus elbow but instead finds that Brantelli is already blocking the strike, and waiting for what comes next. Stunned to find himself being thwarted in this instance, it is all the Ripper can do to try an minimize the impact as he’s kicked in the stomach and introduced to the canvas by means of a lightning quick DDT from the hungry challenger. Who stalls instead of pinning immediately and heads to the top rope instead.
Freddy Whoa: Jim Brantelli might live to regret this, he’s climbing to the top rope when he shouldn’t be looking to score the quick pinfall.
Zach Davis: He’s looking for that 450 degree splash that he calls Raised Hell, Freddy. But Rabid can see that just as well as we can.
A thinking man’s scoundrel; John rolls out of the ring and taps his head towards the crowd who give him a mixed reaction. This indifference however quickly turns to a frantic cheer as Brantelli hops off the turnbuckle, charges to the opposite ropes and cartwheels as he rebounds before sailing over the top rope with a half-turn moonsault; completely wiping out the Ripper with the suicide dive.
Freddy Whoa: WHOA! Jim Brantelli flying over the ropes with a display of fearless showmanship!
Zach Davis: Get him in the ring kid! This is your shot!
Brantelli scoops the champion up to a vertical base and slides him under the bottom rope as the front row frenzies over what they’ve just seen. Climbing back into the ring, Jim is caught off-guard as Rabid shows his experience and attacks as the challenger tries to enter by repeatedly stomping on his back with a firm hold of the rope. The senior official pleads for the Ripper to stop, exhausting the entire count of five before finally pulling John from his prey. With a cocky grin on his face, Rabid shakes his head back and forth, acting as if the ref were overreacting before dragging the beaten down body of Brantelli into the middle of the ring, and delivering a beautiful standing star-press into a cover.
The referee notices Brantelli’s left leg is under the ring ropes and refuses to count any higher. Much to the misfortune of the Television Champion who finds himself rolled-up with a schoolboy whilst complaining about this.
Powering out of the package pin, Rabid steps out to the apron; driving his shoulder through the ropes and into Brantelli’s midsection before kneeling atop the back of the hellraiser’s head whilst pulling the cables apart; forcing the challenger’s throat into the ropes with an illegal choke. After hearing an earful from the ref, John then steps through the ropes and passes him by, he circles the ring, turns and makes his way back towards Brantelli, slightly calmer than before. While the ref kept Rabid occupied though, Jim is able to cough and splutter, but also able to catch his breath and regroup. Seeing the Ripper making his way towards him, Jim nods his head and then meets him in the center of the ring. John throws a right hand but doesn't connect as Jim blocks and counters with a punch of his own. After stumbling back a couple of steps, Rabid then lunges towards the spunky newcomer but gets lifted off his feet for his troubles and driven into the canvas with a spinning spinebuster into a bridging pin.
Freddy Whoa: KICKOUT! Jim Brantelli almost becoming the Television Champion right in front of our very eyes!
Zach Davis: If that were to happen, this close to Ultimate Showdown, who knows what that could mean for John Rabid.
Pushing himself up, Brantelli then delivers a stinging kick to John's back as he rolls over to his side. Jim then turns his attention to the champ's legs. After pounding the left knee over and over, the Hellraiser then lifts Rabid's foot into the air and starts trying to drag him over to the ringpost, in the hopes of wrapping the leg around the metal support. Fighting for his championship, and indeed his mobility though; the Ripper kicks out violently-- connecting with a wild punt to the face that buys him enough time to get to his feet. Brantelli goes back to the well once more with an intended kick to the gut, but this time the Ripper is ready. He catches the foot and drapes it over the top ropes, before bouncing off the opposite ropes and coming back to chop block the lone functioning leg of the challenger in a sickening manner.
Freddy Whoa: John using every trick he knows to try and get back into this match.
Zach Davis: The back of Jim Brantelli’s knee has to be in pieces right now, Freddy. Did you see the way it bent back on itself? It’s not supposed to do that, man.
In a world of pain, Jim rolls over to his back before grabbing his knee with both hands. Laughing a bit, Rabid then grabs the leg and holds it up before wrapping it around his and locking in a figure four leg lock, putting the pressure on the left knee that he had been working on. The hold isn’t applied for very long; the scrappy challenger managing to roll onto his front and reverse the pressure after only a few seconds, but the damage was done regardless. Both men climb back to their feet now, but the smile on Rabid’s face is enough to see that the Ripper already has a plan. Red in the face and feeling the strain in his knee, Jim sits up, screaming at the referee who continuously badgers him with concern for his health. Shaking his head back and forth, Jim Brantelli refuses to call it a day and joins the Ripper on a vertical base once more as the audience applauds these two athletes.
Freddy Whoa: This Ohio crowd is liking what they’re seeing tonight, Zach.
Zach Davis: Unfortunately though, I think John Rabid likes what he sees too, and that can only be bad for Jim Brantelli.
Reaching over with both arms, Rabid engages his challenger in a collar and elbow tie-up that neither man gets the better of at first. Finally the Ripper switches it up, taking a hammerlock before instead grabbing Brantelli around the waist and delivering the first in a series of three German suplexes that leave the relative newcomer prone. Rabid shakes his head after releasing on the third, signaling to the crowd that this match was now living on borrowed time.
Freddy Whoa: Well, it looks like the end is near!
Zach Davis: How many times have we seen John Rabid in this position over the last four months? His reign as Television Champion has been one of the more noteworthy periods of dominance in recent history..
Freddy Whoa: Time to put him away with the rest, John. You’ve got the biggest match of your career to prepare for!
Throwing up the veil, the Ripper plants a false trail in signalling for the Destroyer. Having scouted this, Brantelli assumes a specific, defensive position. In doing so however, he leaves himself open from another angle-- enabling Rabid to wriggle between his crossed arms and drag him to the canvas with the Anaconda Vice he’s been known to call the Bite. Brantelli struggles, and struggles some more. But before too long, he succumbs and submits to the will of his opponent. Tapping his near-lifeless hand on the canvas.
Kyle Steel: The winner of this match by submission and STILL, WCF Television Champion-- the Ripper, JOHNNNNN RAAAAABID!!!
Rabid releases the hold and snatches his belt from the referee, stepping over Brantelli’s broken remains as he raises the belt in the air and points towards an Ultimate Showdown banner up in the stands.
Kyle Steel: Ladies and gentlemen, Damian Simmons.
Simmons walks into frame, standing next to the interviewer.
Simmons: Hey, good evening.
Kyle Steel: Damian, after a rough start, you finally got your first win during the last night of King of the Deathmatch. How are you feeling?
Simmons: Well, 1-5 isn't the most appealing record, and that one was against a guy who was also winless in the tournament, but a win's a win. Any other man would probably be upset at all those losses strung together, but I knew that after all those, I would get a big win. And I did.
Kyle Steel: What's next for you? Where do you see yourself in the next few weeks?
Simmons: I dunno, probably just keep working, pick up a few wins, then maybe challenge for a champ-
Simmons suddenly lurches forward as he was struck in the back.
As the big man bends over, Matthew Drake is revealed holding a bat. As Simmons turns around, Drake takes another swing at his gut, then his knees, taking the Simmons down.
Drake: I've told you since day one! I'm the best! I'm the future of WCF! Not you!
Drake cracks the bat across the back of Simmons.
Drake: *points the bat at the camera* See what I did to him? Why would any of you be any different? Nobody is going to stop me in my ascent to greatness. Nobody.
Looking back down at the fallen Simmons, Drake got a sick look in his eyes. As Simmons rose to his hands and knees, Drake raised the bat over his head and drove it down hard, striking the back of Simmons' skull as hard as possible.
Security finally rushes in to separate the two men, preventing any further conflict.
VWA vs Troy Wilson/Big Sexy Bryan
Kyle Steel: The following contest is a tag-team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Cloud City, Besbin-- BIG SEXXXXXY BRYYYYYYAN!!
I’m Too Sexy by Right Said Fred hits as a large man with long, blonde hair blows kisses to the crowd on his way down the ramp.
Freddy Whoa: Big Sexy Bryan making his WCF debut tonight Zach, and he’s got himself on TV right of the gate!
Zach Davis: That’s what happens when half the roster wants a week off and the other half is recovering from deathmatches.
Freddy Whoa: Don’t forget, we’ve still got the finals of the 2017 George A. Romero King of the Deathmatch Tournament to come in tonight’s main event.
Zach Davis: Not before this next contest though, Fred! If Bryan’s looking to make a name for himself; he’ll have a sexy chance to do so tonight; what with there only being three scheduled matches. You’ve gotta think that makes it easier to get yourself noticed!
Big Sexy Bryan slides into the ring just as the crowd explodes into cheers. “Not Afraid” by Eminem begins to blare and fog starts to roll down the entrance way. The arena lights turn blue and the fog creates a haze effect. Troy “The Golden Boy” Wilson steps out from behind the curtain slowly. He stops for a moment, flashes his signature smile, and looks around the arena.
Kyle Steel: Introducing his partner, from Brooklyn, New York-- “The Golden Boy” … TROY WILSON!!!
His eyes widen as he strides to the ring greeting multiple fans. He climbs up the ring steps, steps through the ropes and into the ring.
Freddy Whoa: We’ve seen newcomer; Troy Wilson going from strength to strength in recent weeks. Tonight should be business as usual for the Golden Boy.
Zach Davis: Good thing wrestling doesn’t run on shoulds and coulds, Freddy!
The arena bubbles back into a quiet riot as Paranoiac Personality by Alice Cooper now plays through the speakers; shaking the Ohio arena.
Kyle Steel: … and now, their opponents. “The Death Dealer” Damian Manson and “the Kracken” Jasper McCoy. They are-- the VILLAINS WITH ATTITUDE!!!
The two men strut down to the ring, drawing a mass of boos from the crowd before sliding under the bottom rope, ‘too-sweeting’ one another and taking their corner.
Zach Davis: This should be a competitive match involving four superstars that are all relatively new to the WCF.
Freddy Whoa: Who’ve you got picked in this one, Zach?
Zach Davis: Whoever gets the early advantage, Fred. This one may very well come down to either who wants it most or who gets it first.
*Ding Ding Ding*
The action gets heated right away as Damien Manson bursts forwards and drops Big Sexy Bryan with a shoulder charge. Posing to the crowd to showcase his strength after doing so. He quickly picks him back up, delivering a brainbuster right out of the stalls. Bryan’s skull hits the canvas with a crash; even bouncing a little before falling limp onto the canvas. Manson quickly hooks the leg and makes the cover.
At the very last second, Troy Wilson breaks up the pin.
Freddy Whoa: The Villains with Attitude didn’t come here tonight looking to make any friends, judging by the start of this match anyway.
Zach Davis: They’re villains Freddy, what did you expect?
Manson shouts at the referee to get Wilson out of the ring, which he does. However this interruption allows Big Sexy Bryan to crawl back to the corner; where he makes the tag to Troy, just as his partner makes it back to the apron. Not having the seen the quick-tag; Damien drags Bryan back to his feet once more. Holding him in place as McCoy leaps from his spot on the apron to the ropes, before wiping out Big Sexy Bryan with a springboard lariat that takes Jasper too through the ropes to the outside.
Freddy Whoa: Manson’s taunting the crowd now. He thinks Big Sexy Bryan was the legal man!
Zach Davis: No such luck I’m afraid, Freddy. Quickest career victory incoming for Troy Wilson if he can get this right.
The crowd pops as Troy reasserts himself, spinning Manson around in place before driving a single boot to his gut; doubling the Death Dealer over. From here, he executes a Styles Clash style facebuster-- hooking the inside leg as the Kraken continues putting the boots to Bryan on the outside; blissfully unaware.
Freddy Whoa: Boom! Just like that-- Troy Wilson delivers Quick Surgery to Damien Manson right on the two-minute mark!
Zach Davis: This one’s over folks. Thanks for coming... VWA!
Kyle Steel: The winner of this match by pinfall… the team of Big Sexy Bryan and the Golden Boy-- TROYYYYY WILLLLSON!!
Jasper McCoy begins to shout at his barely conscious partner as Not Afraid is played through the speakers once more. Troy Wilson slips out of the ring, skipping over his fallen partner with a passing handshake to the equally, partially conscious Bryan who is now being helped to his feet by the medical team as Slam goes to commercial.
Crystal Castles’ Untrust Us echoes through the speakers as we come back from commercial to find Everest; in it’s bare bones, Trios Cup winning, original form of Sanchez, Singh and King already standing in the ring. None of the three are scheduled to compete tonight, nor do any of them seem to possess their Trios Gold. Sanchez stands in the far corner; beltless and clad in a black Prada suit with his trademark purple tie. While the Tag Champions only seem to hold those belts, each wearing the belt over the same shoulder. Sanchez feeds from the crowd’s hate for a second before taking a deep breath and speaking in the usual, partially distracted tone.
David Sanchez: Ohio… don’t freak out. I know it’s gotta be a bit exciting; seeing ACTUAL professional wrestlers instead of the fuckin’ schmucks you’ve been landed with the displeasure of viewing this fine evening. But I’m going to need you all to hold it together for me-- we can’t have this week being a completely pointless, piss-break broadcast now… can we?
Feeling patronized, the Ohio crowd boos Sanchez. Opening the floor for Singh to take the microphone.
Steven Singh: Why do you morons continue to boo Mayor Dave? Sometimes it’s like you don’t even listen. Don’t worry though; we brought visual aids. Quieten down Columbus. Production nerds! Roll the footage!
The footage now playing on the screen shows the founding three members of Everest; David Sanchez, Steven Singh and Ethan King, along with an older gentleman, identifiable as the Forgemaster only due to his apron and surroundings. The trifecta of talent watches on as the experienced blacksmith wedges a screwdriver under the faceplate of one third of the Trios Championships, popping the gold away from the lather strap which he tosses aside in a heap with the other two that have already been defaced. Taking the large, golden centerplate he lays it down in a stone bowl with all the other upcycled gold detail that once declared Everest as Trios Champions. Putting the bowl to the forge, we watch Everest applaud sarcastically as the pieces of prestigious metal begin to bubble and melt.
Forgemaster: What would you like me to turn it into?
The trio speak amongst themselves for a moment, before Steven Singh responds.
Steven Singh: We’ve brought a small list. I hope you don’t mind, we’ve been planning this for so long that we had to start taking requests.
David Sanchez: We need a three foot by two foot gold plate; thin enough to cover an average-sized concrete slab. I’ll be needing that engraved too, but we’ll just cover the basics first.
The blacksmith gets to work, poking and prodding at the molten metal with a variety of rods and methods of turning.
Forgemaster: Anything else? There’ll be enough left for perhaps a crown, or a diadem. Maybe even a small trophy of sorts?
Again the trio whispers amongst their ranks before this time it’s Ethan King who offers up an answer.
Ethan King: … nah. Whatever’s left, just mould it into a solid gold bottle-opener but leave enough for three diamond rings.
David Sanchez: Are you gonna need those ring-sizes, chief? Or is it kind of a one-size-fits-all deal you do here?
The blacksmith smiles at the impatient Mayor, who in turn marvels as a stream of molten gold is poured down a chute and spread out over a thin rectangular mould. The footage cuts away as the blacksmith’s workshop grows dark. The discarded leather straps which once held the Trios Championships together lying in a soon-to-be forgotten heap are the last thing the viewer sees as the big-screen goes black and we’re back in the ring.
David Sanchez: One ring-- they say. To rule, them all.
The three men who still occupy the ring all hold their fists in the air at this point in team; each man revealed to be wearing a gold ring set with several diamonds in the shape of the letter T.
Steven Singh: With these rings, we will forever be known as the most dominant three-man team in professional wrestling. Because let’s face it; who else is there?
David Sanchez: #Krewtheon can’t keep three guys consistently employed for long enough to earn the right to challenge.
Ethan King: Dave took Kevin Bishop’s name, smile and competitive spirit away from him; thus ending the potential threat of the Three Kings.
Steven Singh: We’ve been looking for competition since we won those now-defunct belts back at Asesinato and all we’ve been given are fuckchops in formation. Thrown together trilogies of perpetual midcarders and Kyle Kemp; who I’m quite sure never even ascended to that level.
The crowd boos loudly as the three man team continues to pander towards them for approval, feeling as though they should be rewarded for their actions, instead of ridiculed.
David Sanchez: Well… if you guys liked that. Then I’m sure you’ll love what comes next.
Steven Singh: Production goons!-- roll the second clip!
On Singh’s command the big screen bursts into life again; this time taking us front and center of a public assembly of some kind, to an event that is already very much in progress. On a large, pop-up stage; two men are shown standing in front of a large, newly constructed building-- a ribbon strewn across the front entrance would reveal this to be an opening ceremony of sorts. The Mayor’s voice grabs ahold of the viewer now, and introduces the second star of the video; who cuts the ceremonial ribbon with giant, novelty scissors.
David Sanchez: Ladies and gentlemen of Chicago, Illinois; here to help me open the doors to this; the Hope Valley Health and Wellness Center. One of our top sponsors; without whom’s constant stream of talent in need of rehabilitation and residency, we’d never have managed half of this.-- WCF owner, and member of the hospital’s board of directors; Seth Lerch!
Seth waves to the little gathering of Chicagoans, most of whom recognize him from the television-- but there’s the odd, uneducated member of the crowd who simply assume him to be another politician in the Mayor’s cabinet. With the ribbon cut, Sanchez presents Seth with a shining, solid gold bottle opener, the accepting of which leads to a handshake between promoter and political figure. The feed dies on this image; freezing it as if to almost highlight what everybody has been saying was happening all long. The crowd boos as they’re haunted by the giant, HD freeze-frame of a David Sanchez/Seth Lerch handshake. The events all taking place atop a solid-gold paving slab bearing Seth’s name that has been cemented into the sidewalk in a manner befitting of Hollywood Boulevard.
Steven Singh: … Care to explain, Mayor Dave?
David Sanchez: Uh, it’s not what it looks like. I tripped, and he... fell?
Again, the audience showers Everest with jeers and trash, their disliking towards the stable acting as an accelerant to the men in the ring.
Ethan King: Can we get a ‘you sold out’ chant going in here?
Ethan’s request goes unheard, met instead with more boos.
David Sanchez: Contrary to what Johnny Sunshine and the Goodtime Gang might be poisoning your tiny minds into thinking-- that right there. That frozen-in-time image in front of your eyes, is the very first time that Seth and I have spoken outside of my initial contract negotiations. But alas, it was bound to happen, sooner or later-- I mean good business; is just good business at the end of the day. Regardless of the dirt that each, individual deal entails. We do, what needs to be done, and this moment right here is worth every little ‘LOL - Sanchez had to fall in line with Seth to win the big one.’ that it’ll surely spark on Twitter.
Still waiting for the punchline, the crowd silences a little.
Steven Singh: It is our privilege to announce that as of... right now. The WCF Trios Championships; are no more. They’re retired, filed away with the Cruiserweight and Elite Titles respectively for serving no real purpose at this point in time. You see, what’s the need in having those belts be a feature in week-to-week competition? We’ve already proven that we can best ANY three-man team in the history of this company!
Another pause, another wave and another barrage of boos from the nostalgic crowd.
Ethan King: These three rings symbolize our dominance in trios competition in the same way that a belt would; except for one crucial little detail. They’re not defended like titles; we earned these rings by winning the Trios Cup. We earned these rings by outlasting Zero Tolerance, the #DRG, Pantheon and the Three Kings to win a tournament-- the belts? They were just becoming a burden. You ever tried to get through airport security with twenty-six pounds of metal on your person?
Nobody in the arena makes a noise, how could they possibly relate?
David Sanchez: You’re welcome, Ohio. The silent, slackjawed hum I’m hearing is more thanks than you could ever put to words. But alas… we can’t take all the credit here-- so without further delay. Put your hands together and help me to welcome the man who made this most necessary of golden sacrifices an actual, literal thing and not just another douchebag thinking he can add and remove belts from the binary as he sees fit…
The crowd already boos; knowing what’s coming next.
Steven Singh: He is a Hall of Famer, a multiple time World Champion, the first People’s Champion and the owner of the longest undefeated streak in the history of this company; as well as being the guy who signs our paychecks!-- SEEEEETH LERRRRRCH!!!
The fans continue to jeer as Seth Lerch steps out on stage. He has a microphone already.
Seth Lerch: Let me just say, that after the years and years of going through the Team of Treachery, Pantheon, #beachkrew.... I, for one, welcome our new Everest overlords.
The crowd boos as the Everest guys are like "yeah!"
Seth Lerch: And I have to say, I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed for my WCF roster to let things get to this point. I would have expected someone to at least put up a fight, you know? Someone to give these guys a run for their money? But I haven't seen it. When I created the WCF Trios Titles, I expected them to be some of the most hotly contested Titles in the company, with intriguing combinations of men and women coming together and fighting for them. Instead, what'd I get? Nothing.
Seth shakes his head.
Seth Lerch: You all wanted a wildcard at Ultimate Showdown? Thanks to your ineptitude, WCF, you've got it! The wildcard is this! Now, with the Trios Titles out of the picture, that means David Sanchez is no longer a Champion and he is OUT of Ultimate Showdown!!!!!
Sanchez's face immediately goes from jovial to super serious. He's about to explode and come after Seth.
Seth Lerch: Naw, naw, just kidding, I'm just fucking with you. The REAL wildcard is that now, at Ultimate Showdown, this means the first person eliminated walks out with NOTHING! And who do you all think that will be?
Seth points to a portion of the crowd, each of which hold up a letter. J - A - Y - S - O -N - P - R - I - C -E!
Seth Lerch: That's right, the Ultimate Loser, Jayson Price! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some beer to guzzle with my brand new golden bottle opener!
Seth heads to the back as Everest continue to celebrate their dastardly deeds.
Zach Davis: SO not only have Everest dominated their divisions... they've now taken away the opportunity from the rest of the WCF roster to fight for the Trios Titles ever again!?
Freddy Whoa: Everest Above All, Zach.
We go to commercial.
George A. Romero King of the Deathmatch 2017 Finals
William the Behemoth vs FPV
Rock Out by Motorhead plays over the PA and Silva walks to the ramp and let's out a roar followed by some pyro. He then slowly walks to the ring.
Zach Davis: I've never truly understood this entrance.
Freddy Whoa: Me neither.... but uh William the Behemoth has a medieval halberd!
The lights dim to a blood red, as glitchy electronic noises fill the arena. Many suspect that "Ghosts n' Stuff" is about to play...until instead they get a snippet of multiple songs. First "You Know My Name," then "Mountain Song," "Ghosts 'n Stuff, "The Scott Pilgrim Anthem," and finally "Professional Griefers." This snippets play seemingly at random until all sound stops, and the lights go off completely, until three words pop up on the titantron, in big white letters.
"FRANK PATRICK VENABLE"
The crowd explodes in applause as "True North" hits the P.A and Frank Patrick Venable finally makes his entrance, dressed in a dark red hoodie and wrestling tights, ready for a fight. He runs down to the ring at an almost inhumane speed, sliding into the ring from underneath the bottom rope. He panders to the always appreciative crowd before removing his hoodie and entering his corner, waiting for the bell.
Zach Davis: These men fought through the toughest tournament in all of professional wrestling to get here. The winner goes on to face the original King of the Deathmatch winner at Ultimate Showdown.
FPV charges at William, who swings his medieval harberd, but FPV rolls through. As William turns FPV Dropkicks him, causing him to drop the halberd. FPV then runs at him, hits a knee to the face. William angrily charges forward and FPV takes him over with a Hip Toss. He gets back up and FPV runs at him, William kicks him in the gut and DDTs him. William rolls out of the ring.
Freddy Whoa: What's he going for now?
He pulls out a medieval mace!
Zach Davis: Uh oh!
Freddy Whoa: Seriously. Why do we allow serious murder weapons?
He gets back in and is about to swing it as FPV gets back up, but FPV begs off and yells to allow him to get a weapon. To make things fair, William obliges. FPV rolls out and gets a Mace of his own before rolling in.
Zach Davis: That's not a mace! That's a picture of Mace!
Indeed, FPV has a signed picture of the first ever WCF World Champion, Mace. William doesn't care and swings, FPV blocks it with the iconic picture which is torn to shreds. FPV runs and takes Mace down with a Sling Blade, sending the real weapon mace flying.
Freddy Whoa: Wait, a truck is backing bown the ramp. What is this?
It seems to be a truck backing up a flatbed truck with a pool... full of piranhas.
Zach Davis: Well, an Ultimate Deathmatch means anything can happen.
FPV and William are up and facing each other and brawling. William pushes FPV towards the ropes... and the piranha filled boat is now right up against the apron.
Freddy Whoa: If you go over, you're, uh, well, dead.
Zach Davis: We had a lot of sea themed deathmatches this tournament, thanks to the #beachkrew influence... and that influence is still coming around.
FPV pushes William away and once again rolls through. William turns to face him and FPV fires off another Dropkick, William is sent reeling and backs into the ropes. FPV runs at him and Clotheslines him, both men flying over the top!
Freddy Whoa: OH MY!
They both manage to land on the apron and begin kicking at each other. The piranhas jump up repeatedly, chomping at the bit. Eventually William once again gets the upper hand and is able to taunt FPV into rushing him. William lifts him onto his shoulders and executes a Death Valley Driver off the apron and into the tank!
Zach Davis: WHAT!
Both men begin flailing and both men escape the tank after seconds, but both men also have piranhas biting all over their bodies! They tear the piranhas off. William throws them into the crowd, not caring, FPV just tears them off and tries not to let them escape into society. Both men are bleeding from several parts of their bodies. They stumble towards one another and William runs at FPV and takes him down with an STO!
Freddy Whoa: FPV may be a former World Champion, he may have done it all, he may want to face Corey Black - but he's up against a very big man. And you can't teach that, Zach. He's just huge.
Several WCF staff begin pushing a dumpster out, on the part of the stage underneath the entryway and where the crowd is. William drags FPV up there and then the stage opens the doors.
Zach Davis: Wait... that isn't just a dumpster full of junkyard trash.
Freddy Whoa: That is a dumpster full of light tubes.
William grins as he lifts FPV up in the Gorilla Press.
Zach Davis: NO!
FPV slides behind him and Dropkicks him off the stage!
Freddy Whoa: Oh my God!-
NO!, William just barely stops himself from falling back into the light tubes!
Zach Davis: This has to be certain death...
FPV runs at him again.
Freddy Whoa: WILLIAM LIFTS HIM UP!
Zach Davis: THROWS HIM RIGHT INTO THE DUMPSTER FULL OF LIGHT TUBES!
You hear a sickening sound of glass breaking as FPV flies into the dumpster. William simply steps back into the ring and expects the referee to raise his hand, repeatedly shouting "he's dead. I killed him."
Freddy Whoa: I wouldn't make William mad, but to be fair, we don't really know yet, you've gotta pin him...
William, annoyed at the technicality, turns back and walks towards the dumpster. And as he does, a single arm raises from the shattered fluorescent tube masscare.
Zach Davis: FPV LIVES!
FPV pulls himself out but William is enraged. He runs at FPV, and from the edge of the dumpster FPV snaps off a Hurricanrana that sends the big man flying into the dumpster as well!
Freddy Whoa: WILLIAM THE BEHEMOTH DIES!
FPV doesn't wait, he pulls William out from the dumpster and grabs his head. He runs on the apron and jumps.
Zach Davis: STANDING TORNADO DDT INTO THE LIGHT TUBE DUMPSTER!
Freddy Whoa: Both men inside that mess now! Good lord!
FPV climbs out and shuts the lid. He grabs a nearby can of gasoline.
Zach Davis: Uh?
FPV pours the gasoline all over the dumpster.
Freddy Whoa: Why was that there? Oh nevermind.
He pulls out a match and lights it, throwing it onto the dumpster, which catches on fire. He walks away like a badass.
Zach Davis: Is he expecting an explosion?
Part of the dumpster is pounded on from the inside, and we can see William breaking free. Eventually we see the metal break and William kicks his way out, literally Big Booting his way out of a burning dumpster full of light tubes! He grabs some flaming wreckage and tosses it at FPV, who gets hit in the face with the metal. William climbs back up onto the stage and then down to the piranha tank, he picks up the piranha tank.
Freddy Whoa: ...what.
Zach Davis: HE'S STRONG AF FREDDY!
He pours the piranha tank onto the flaming dumpster. Some of the piranhas light on fire, and William grabs them and starts throwing them at FPV. The flaming fish chomp into FPV's flesh yet again.
Freddy Whoa: He's already gotten bit, now he's getting bitten again!
FPV gets back to his feet and blindly begins superkicking away piranhas. William walks up to him and grabs one of his kicks and flips him over. Once FPV is flipped, William knees him in the gut and doubles him over before hitting a Pump Handle Slam right on the ramp. William goes for the pin.
Zach Davis: Both of these men fought so hard to get here.... What is going to end this?
William picks up FPV and drags him back to the ring, FPV is already a bloody mess. William slides him in and starts elbowing his throat repeatedly before getting up onto the apron and then running at him and hitting a Leg Drop!
Freddy Whoa: Oof! FPV has already taken so much punishment.
William pulls him in and puns him again.
Zach Davis: Once again, I assume we have to witness an actual death for this to end.
William hits the ropes and runs at FPV, hitting a Running Splash, but FPV rolls away! Both men are to their feet and FPV hits a few quick jabs, chops him, kicks him in the shin and then shoves him into the ropes. He comes back and FPV hits a Snap Suplex.
Freddy Whoa: He keeps it hooked, hits a second one...
Keeps it hooked....
Zach Davis: Another one!
Freddy Whoa: And one more!
He hits the third! He then rolls out of the ring and grabs a small sack from underneath it.
Zach Davis: He's got thumbtacks!
William the Behemoth, ever the toughman, is stumbling up, and FPV swings and hits him RIGHT IN THE FACE with the sack of tacks! The tacks connect and William is bloodied. FPV sprinkles the rest of the tacks on the mat before grabbing William and lifting him up in a Vertical Suplex.
Freddy Whoa: BRAINBUSTER ONTO THE TACKS!
FPV holds his shoulder for a few moments in pain as tacks are stuck into Williams' head. FPV rolls over and pins him.
Zach Davis: Oooof....
FPV pulls out an old school flip phone. He dials a few numbers and then an Amazon drone comes into the arena.
Freddy Whoa: What? How? He didn't have an exploding cell phone but he used it as a weapon anyway!
The Amazon drone drops a newly trademarked Andre Aquarius Brand Bazooka into the waiting clutches of FPV. FPV grabs the bazooka and quickly shoots it at the drone.
Zach Davis: What does he have planned?
Given that Amazon is so big, several security drones come in, angry at FPV for assaulting the delivery drone. William grabs them, three of them, and smashes them into each other enough to confuse whatever their programming was. He then jumps on them. FPV jumps on his drone too and both men fly into the sky above the arena.
Freddy Whoa: I didn't know you could ride drones, Zach!
Zach Davis: ...YOU CAN'T!
FPV shoots the bazooka, and William moves his drones so that he avoids them. FPV shoots again and this time William catches the rocket and launches it back at FPV. FPV ducks and the rocket instead hits a disco ball that was waiting above the arena. It opens up and a spiderweb of barbed wire envelopes, literally, the entire arena.
Freddy Whoa: WHAT THE FUCK!?
The drones are brought back down to the ground and blow up as FPV lands on his and William lands on his three. Both of them are crushed underneath the giant web of barbed wire. Both of them begin crawling towards the ring, the cuts opening them both open every single crawl.
Zach Davis: Back in the day, movies like Saw and Hostel created the torture porn genre... and, uh, well, here we are.
The two men meet in the middle of the ring, barbed wire all over them and they still begin brawling. FPV is able to Dropkick William in the knee and take him down before hitting a Shining Wizard. He then grabs the cell phone from earlier and smashes it into Williams' face.
Freddy Whoa: The battery breaks - NO! NO! IT ELECTRIFIES THE BARBED WIRE!
Only for a second, but it's enough to fry both competitors! William has had enough. He rolls out of the ring and scurries towards the entryway, marching up the ramp.
Zach Davis: Is he... is he leaving?
FPV marches towards him and grapples him from behind. FPV spins him around.
Freddy Whoa: SUPERKICK! BOOM!
Zach Davis: HEADSHOT!
NO!, William catches him and spins him around. William runs at him and STO's him into the barbed wire blanket that has enveloped the arena. William lifts him up and manhandles him up into a Powerslam into the barbed wire as well!
Freddy Whoa: I can't even tell who this man is. He's.. totally covered in nothing but blood now.
William charges one more time.
Zach Davis: FPV SWITCHES BEHIND!
HE HITS A TIGER DRIVER 85!, the 3/4 NELSON SUPLEX!
Freddy Whoa: LIMIT BREAK! OFF THE STAGE, THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE AND INTO THE RINGSIDE AREA!
FPV turns and hits a Frog Splash onto the fallen man!
NO! NO! WILLIAM KICKS OUT!
Zach Davis: WWHHAATT!
FPV kicks his heels before he gets back to his feet. He looks up and nods, calling for a specific weapon, apparently. A green light tube is lowered into his hands.
Freddy Whoa: Wait, wait, William is up, he's calling for something too.
William gets a red lightsaber lowered into his hands! FPV's eyes widen as Willliam swings with the lightsaber. FPV raises his green light tube, which miraculously blocks the lightsaber.
Zach Davis: PRAISE THE FORCE!
FPV swings to decapictate William, but William ducks away from it and then slices FPV in the midsection. William then shatters FPV's light tube fake lightsaber before smashing FPV in the face with his red lightsaber. William pulls FPV in and executes a Belly to Belly.
Freddy Whoa: William back with the advantage..
The lights go out.
Zach Davis: What is this?
GARY THE REFEREE RIDES OUT ON THE RABID BEAR!
Freddy Whoa: OH MY GOD!
Gary has been zombified, as has the rabid bear. They're both rabid, they're both zombies. They slide into the ring and rush William. They're hungry for brains. They sniff him but can't find anyway so they move towards FPV.
Zach Davis: Hey, wait!
Freddy Whoa: He's got brains!
William angrily grabs Gary the Zombie Referee and tells him he's super smart and has brains. Gary decides to take him up on that and bites him right in the head, bringing him down to the mat. FPV, meanwhile hits the rabid zombie bear with a Superkick.
Zach Davis: BOOM! HEADSHOT!
FPV reaches into his pocket and pulls the old Chuck Taylor fake grenade routine.. but with a real grenade. He pulls out the pin and throws it at William and Gary.
Freddy Whoa: EXPLOSION!
Gary's limbs go flailing as William just takes the explosion.
FPV dives and goes for the pin.
Zach Davis: OH THANK GOD IT IS OVER.
Freddy Whoa: SWEET BABY JESUS.
Zach Davis: FRANK PATRICK VENABLE WINS KING OF THE DEATHMATCH!!!
FPV stands up, then collapses. Government officials immediately flood the arena.
Freddy Whoa: They're going to kill us all, Zach, let's get the fuck out of here.
Zach Davis: Agreed.
Freddy Whoa: See you at Ultimate Showdown, Zach, I'll lose my job if I don't promote this. Can Dion Necurat defend his belt? Who will walk out with any of the belts?
Zach Davis: The whole landscape changes! ALRIGHT FREDDY LET'S GO!
Slam fades to black.