****************THE FOLLOWING WAS FILMED LAST WEEK, THE DAY AFTER SLAM.**********************
Children are out playing in their winter clothes and everything seems fairly normal. Singh keeps looking out the distance as he approaches the home where he grew up. As he gets closer, his face changes to a look of confusion. The camera looks over his shoulder to see the same house that he saw burned down in the video from Digger last week...still standing. Singh slows his car to a stop down the street and stares at it with a confused look for a minute. He glances around, noticing nothing out of place but yet still confused on how his mother’s home, the one he purchased her years ago, is not burned down.
Eventually, Singh pulls off onto the side of the road to the curb and exits his car. He still glances around as he slowly walks up the sidewalk until he’s at his mother’s driveway. He walks up the driveway and knocks on the door. The door opens up and we see Stephen Singh’s mother, Donna, well put together albeit in a sweater and northwoods mom-jeans kind of way. She smiles warmly at him.
Donna: Oh, Stephen! I didn’t realize you were coming by! Why didn’t you call me? Come in! Come in!
Singh pauses in the doorway, hesitating before he finally walks in. He looks at his mom.
Stephen Singh: Donna? Is everything ok?
Donna looks at him curiously.
Donna: Yes, everything is ok. Why wouldn’t it be? What do you mean?
Stephen Singh:Well you texted me last week for the first time in I don’t know how long….
Donna: A mother can’t text her son?
Stephen Singh: And yesterday I got a...rather disconcerting video.
Donna: Oh no. Are you okay? Come in and sit down and tell me all about it. Lunch is almost ready!
Singh finally walks through the door and puts his coat on the rack; the house is tidier than usual. There’s no sign of her drug use or any of the men she’d allowed to crash on the couch. Everything is damn near nuclear. He follows his mom into the living room but then pauses again when he sees the table filled with several sets of plates and silverware. He looks at his mom again.
Stephen Singh: Why is the table set? Are you expecting someone?
Donna laughs and touches her head as if to say “duh”.
Donna: OH! How silly of me! I’m not expecting company, they’re already here! They’re in the family room. They’re actually some good friends of yours!
Stephen Singh pushes past his mom, heading towards the family room as she continues talking.
Donna: One of them has the weirdest name. He said his name is---
Donna’s voice fades out in Singh’s head as he steps to the doorway of the family room. He stops and a look of shock crosses his face.
Stephen Singh: Gravedigger.
Stephen’s look of shock morphs quickly to anger and the camera moves to an over the shoulder shot revealing the family room to be full of MS-13 members. Four of them to be exact with Gravedigger sitting in the middle of a couch, his arms stretched across the entire back of it in both directions. He grins at Singh.
Gravedigger: What a surprise! Didn’t expect to see you here! Glad you could make it, Steve-o!
Gravedigger chuckles. Gravedigger doesn’t budge as Singh quickly crosses the room towards him but two of the MS-13 bikers step forward and block Singh, shaking their heads.
Gravedigger: Now, now, Stephen, that look on your face is that of someone who is not being very welcoming right now. You may not live here anymore but this is still technically your home.
Stephen Singh: What the fuck are you doing here?
Gravedigger grins again.
Gravedigger: I just wanted to meet the mother of the magnificent specimen that I’m facing at One. This is nothing more than a friendly visit, Singh.
Gravedigger grins slyly at that last comment.
Stephen Singh: Then why did you need all these bikers?
Before Gravedigger can answer, Singh’s mom walks into the room.
Donna: Oh, I see you guys are chatting away, trading ring stories or whatever, right? I’ll just head back to the kitchen and let you know when the food is ready, ok?
Singh’s mom starts to leave the room again but Singh walks over to her, pulling her to the side.
Stephen Singh: Donna, what are you doing letting Gravedigger in here? Do you not know who he is?
Donna: Yes, dear, I know who he is. He’s Gravedigger from WCF. The guy you’re going to wrestle in a few weeks.
Stephen Singh: Well that’s certainly the FIRST reason you shouldn’t have him here but do you not realize who he is and what he does to people? You think the matching jackets are just for show? This isn’t the jets and the sharks, these are murderers.
Donna: Oh yes, I’m aware. I’ve watched him for years. He’s my favorite….uh, I mean second favorite wrestler! Behind you of course!
Donna smirks and waves at Gravedigger. Singh’s face changes to that of confusion.
Donna: That’s why I invited him here!
Singh takes a step back.
Stephen Singh: You what?
Donna: Yes, I invited him here. So what made you want to randomly stop by today? It seems coincidental that you happen to stop by the same day as Gravedigger.
Stephen Singh: He sent me a video of the house burning down and I came to make sure--
Donna laughs which catches Stephen off guard. Donna turns to Gravedigger.
Donna: You came to make sure I was as dead as your brother?
Gravedigger chuckles as all the color leaves Singh’s face.
Stephen Singh: What the fuck do you mean?
Donna puts her hands on her hips, looking at Singh again.
Donna: It should really be pretty obvious by now, Stephen. Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?
Donna starts walking out of the room, but glances back at Gravedigger while Singh still looks bewildered.
Donna: Now, you said you would take care of the matter. Don’t make it too messy and hurry up. You’ve got ten minutes until lunch is ready. Thanks for coming, Stephen!
Donna leaves the room, closing the door behind her. The two closest MS-13 members leap forward and jump Singh. He instantly starts fighting back as the two men rain punches and kicks down on him. A few seconds later, the other two MS-13 members join in, too. Finally, Gravedigger stands up and crosses the room and joins in as Stephen Singh is overwhelmed by the five large men beating him down. Glass shatters as Singh is driven through an end table before being hoisted back up and driven through a coffee table, splintering it into thousands of pieces.
Finally, he lays there, face down as blood drips from his person and into the carpet below. A sneer draws across his face and he pushes up with both hands, straining his way to all fours. The men draw back their fists again but Gravedigger holds up a right hand, stopping them. He smiles wide, looking down at his One opponent who faces the door where his mother just left. It opens back up for a moment and Singh hears the frustrated sigh of his mother; he can barely make her out through his now-blurred vision.
Donna: God dammit, Stephen. You made such a mess! You know you’re going to have to pay for all of this, right? We have guests and you have to go and bleed everywhere. Boys, go wash up in the bathroom down the hall and we’ll serve our plates in the dining room.
Singh can just barely make out several figures stepping over him and walking out the door behind his mother. One of them stops in the doorway. Singh can just barely make out his mother kneeling down beside him.
Donna: You’re responsible for the death of everyone I've ever really loved; you brother, you father and now I'm left with just...you. I wanted you dead but your friend here said he wanted to finish it in front of everyone at ONE. I might even buy a ticket.
See you then, son.
Singh’s mom stands back up and the figure beside her puts his arm around her; the distinctive chuckle of Gravedigger can be heard as one swift boot across the face of Stephen Singh finally puts him out of consciousness. The scene fades to black.
Freddy Whoa: We've certainly got a . . . well . . . a unique match to open up Slam here tonight.
Zach Davis: Why don't we just call it what it is, Freddy. We've got what barely qualifies as pro wrestling as we know it opening up Slam tonight. This all began last week when John Rabid inadvertently struck Seth Lerch with the Television Title belt, causing Lerch to strip Rabid of the championship, thereby ending his record-setting run with the title in a manner totally unbefitting the reign.
Freddy Whoa: And from there, Sidney J. Warwick, who was also attacked by the World Champion in the same segment, manipulated Lerch with threats of legal action until the boss gave SJW control of what is now formerly known as the TV Title.
Zach Davis: Let's go to Kyle Steel who will explain the most unusual contest that is about to unfold.
Kyle Steel: The following contest is the first ever . . .
Before Steel can complete his sentence, "Both Hands" by Ani DiFranco interrupts him as Sidney J. Warwick appears at the top of the entrance ramp. In true Warwick fashion, he is wearing an absolutely garish outfit, this one consisting of a purple rash guard with a yellow bow tie and, most prominently, a baggy pair of culottes covered with alternating black and white vertical stripes. Over his shoulder is the WCF TV Title belt, though decals have been placed over the portions of the belt that included the words "Television" or "TV" so that the belt now lists itself as representing the "WCF Softcore Safe Space Championship."
A wireless headset microphone adorns the dome of the WAR XVI winner, and the device carries his voice across the arena sound system as he walks towards the ring.
Sidney J. Warwick: Not so fast there, Kyle! Per my agreement with Seth Lerch and WCF management, this is MY segment featuring MY division and being contested under MY rules, so I will be the one doing the announcing.
SJW steps into the ring between the top and middle ropes and proceeds to stare down Kyle Steel.
Sidney J. Warwick: So hit the bricks, slappy.
Kyle Steel clearly just can't even with this guy this week, and he sighs heavily before shuffling out of the ring.
Sidney J. Warwick: Ladies and gentlemen of the WCF, the Television Title division under the oppressively long reign of John Rabid became a cesspool of depravity and excessive violence, and I am here to you to present professional wrestling in its purest form of athletic competition. This match will be a gauntlet match to determine the first ever WCF Softcore Safe Space Champion. Two competitors will start until one is eliminated by pinfall, submission, forfeit, or disqualification. Then, the next athlete will enter the ring and this process will continue until the last wrestler is standing. Keep in mind that the rules for the Softcore Division are as follows . . .
Number One: Using a closed fist results in an IMMEDIATE disqualification.
Number Two: Leaving the ring for any reason will result in a FORFEIT.
Number Three: Moves from the top rope are BANNED.
Number Four: Moves from the first and second ropes are allowed, BUT only if, prior to executing the move, the competitor dons approved Safe Space protective gear, including knee pads, elbow pads, goggles, and a CTE-preventing helmet.
Number Five: So much as LOOKING at a steel chair or other foreign object will result in a disqualification.
Number Six: Any moves which drop your opponent on their head or any strikes to the head are FORBIDDEN. Executing one such move during a match will result in a yellow card warning being issued. Executing a second move of this nature will result in a red card being issued and a disqualification.
Number Seven: NO cussing, NO spitting, and NO unsportspersonlike taunting of your opponent.
Number Eight: At the official's sole discretion, additional rules MAY be added as the match progresses in order to promote contemporary notions of fair play and substantial justice among the competitors.
All of this is being done, friends, to return pro wrestling to its roots and to save both it and the Television Title from the violence, decadence, and sophomoric humor inflicted upon it by men like John Rabid. It's part of a greater trend of yours truly having to save everything that John Rabid touches from disgrace and danger . . . his championship, his profession, and, in due time, his son.
With that said, let's begin the process of making the WCF a better place by getting to our first two combatants.
"Eyes on Fire" by Zed is dead begins to play over the arena sound system.
Sidney J. Warwick: Introducing our first wrestler, weighing in at an undisclosed amount because I don't want to be accused of body shaming, he hails from the hipster haven of Seattle, Washington . . . Jacob Black!
Smoke begins to fill the entrance ramp. The arena goes dark for a few seconds, before a spotlight shines at the top of the entrance. Jacob Black appears in the spotlight with his head held down, wearing a mask resembling a dragon. As soon as the bass from the entrance theme drops, all of the lights in the arena come on and Jacob removes the mask to reveal his face. He begins walking down to the ring, glaring at fans as they reach their arms out at him, slapping them away from him.
Zach Davis: It looks like Jacob Black will be the first person to find himself subjected to this rather unusual version of professional wrestling, and we'll see how Black's "New Era" meshes with Warwick's own new era.
Freddy Whoa: That would be a clever play on words if anybody realized that Jacob Black's nickname was the "New Era."
"Toxic City" by System of a Down begins to play.
Sidney J. Warwick: And his opponent, originally hailing from Toxic Dump, New Jersey, but what will soon be known as Superfund Site, New Jersey once I make some calls to obtain governmental monies for environmental cleanup work there, he is . . . Biohazard!
The 7'7" monster known as Biohazard walks down the aisle and steps over the top rope to get into the ring.
Freddy Whoa: Here comes one of our veteran members of the WCF roster, Biohazard.
Zach Davis: Many people have forgotten that he was actually the original WCF Television Champion back in 2000, so in some ways it's poetic that he has been brought in contend for this new version of the title.
With both men having made their entrances, Warwick flags them over to the center of the ring so that he can give them instructions. Jacob Black complies, but Biohazard ignores Sidney and just stands in his corner.
Sidney J. Warwick: Okay, I guess I'll just do this from here, then. Listen up, you two; I want a good clean fight. No hair pulling, no eye gouging, and no contributing to a broken capitalist economic model that systematically oppresses the poor and otherwise disadvantaged. Are you ready?
Sidney looks over to Jacob Black, who nods his head. Sidney looks over to Biohazard, who just stares a hole through him.
Sidney J. Warwick: I guess I'll take that as a yes.
Zach Davis: And Sidney Wawrick calls for the bell in his first stint as a special guest referee in the WCF.
Freddy Whoa: Can you even really call him a guest referee? As I understand it, he's going to be officiating all of the matches in this new division he's created.
Perhaps seeing it as his only opportunity to get one over on his gargantuan opponent, Jacob Black charges at Biohazard, but his efforts are for naught, as he runs directly in to a brutal lariat that knocks him back and leaves him lying on his neck and shoulders.
Zach Davis: Oof.
Biohazard picks the much smaller man up off of the mat, pulls him into position, lifts him high, and sends him crashing down to the mat with a last ride powerbomb.
Freddy Whoa: Jacob Black had to be at least eight and a half feet up in the air before coming down off of that one!
Zach Davis: And I suspect that we have our first elimination.
A size 16 Triple E boot is planted on Black's chest as Biohazard goes for the pin. Sidney Warwick drops down to count.
Zach Davis: Wait, why did he stop?
Warwick stands up and stares out to the audience, where one member of the WCF Galaxy is holding up a three-foot tall cardboard image of the head of United States President Donald J. Trump.
Sidney J. Warwick: Oh no you don't! Not in my match!
Now thoroughly triggered, our referee leaves the ring and hops the barrier, walking back seven rows in the audience to lecture the poor fan who is just trying, in his own way, to make America great again.
Sidney J. Warwick: That man is a fascist and a serious sexual abuser, and I will not abide any support of him during a match for MY championship!
Warwick attempts to forcibly remove the buffoon-shaped sign from the fan's hands, but the individual proves to be a very quick one and runs away. SJW gives chase, though his efforts are hampered by many other audience members attempting to block his progress.
Zach Davis: Well, it didn't take long for this to totally go off the rails.
Freddy Whoa: And you're surprised because . . .
Back in the ring, Biohazard, who had been distracted by watching Warwick's antics, shakes his head and turns around to put more of a beating to Jacob Black. However, Black has miraculously gotten back up to his feet.
Freddy Whoa: Calf kick to the right leg by the New Era!
Zach Davis: And now the same to the left leg!
Freddy Whoa: Right leg!
Zach Davis: Left leg!
Freddy Whoa: Right leg!
Zach Davis: Left leg!
On the inside of the ring, Biohazard falls to a kneeling position. On the outside of the ring, Sidney Warwick has finally caught up to the Trump supporter in the audience and breaks the sign over his culottes-clad knee. Jacob Black hits the ropes and runs toward his downed opponent, but we'll never know what maneuver he was going for because . . .
Freddy Whoa: TOXIC OOZE TO THE FACE OF JACOB BLACK BY BIOHAZARD!
Zach Davis: Normally this would be a disqualification in any match, not just a Softcore Title match, but it looks like Sidney Warwick didn't see what was going on because he was trying to get that broken cardboard sign to the nearest recycling bin!
Sidney J. Warwick: Seriously, there are garbage cans every five feet for these slobs to toss their spent Big Gulps into, but I can't find one environmentally-friendly receptacle?
Jacob Black falls to the mat clawing at his burning face, which is covered in the dark-colored corrosive goop that was sprayed from Biohazard's mouth. Biohazard stands Black up in one of the corners and then goes stand in the opposite corner himself, measuring his opponent for what could be a running body attack or perhaps even a Yakuza kick. As he does so, Sidney J. Warwick, having disposed of the purloined sign in a manner meeting his high standards, reenters the ring. Warwick looks at Black, then at Biohazard, and then back to Black before calling for the bell.
Zach Davis: There it is! Warwick saw the toxic ooze smeared all over Jacob's face, and he's going to end this one in a disqualification!
Sidney J. Warwick: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this fall, advancing in the gauntlet match is . . . BIOHAZARD!
Freddy Whoa: Wait, what?
Sidney J. Warwick: Jacob Black is disqualified because, as near as I can tell based on the material covering his visage, he is engaging in the outdated and highly offensive theatrical practice known as blackface, which we will not tolerate in Sidney J. Warwick's WCF!
Zach Davis: Oh, for the love of . . .
"Hukert Man Breathe Lonfer" begins playing over the sound system as Hajeet appears at the top of the entrance ramp amid the cheers of the audience, to whom he gives a thumbs up and a massive smile. Hajeet begins walking to the ring, and, about halfway there, he passes a blinded Jacob Black, who his being helped to the back by a pair of WCF officials. Hajeet smiles and gives Black a thumbs up as well before heading to the rest of the way to the ring.
Freddy Whoa: And here comes the Royal Prince of Tripura, India!
Biohazard is still a bit unsteady on his feet after having taken the series of calf kicks from Jacob Black. He tries to balance himself on the ropes, and, as he does so, Hajeet runs at him and connects with a clothesline that forces Biohazard to take a knee. With his opponent partially down, Hajeet jumps over the top rope, lands on the apron, and then runs forward, jumping back into the ring between the second and the third ropes and connecting with a big spear that sends both men crashing down to the mat in a heap.
Zach Davis: Hajeet goes for the cover! He could be the new Telev, er, Softcore Safe Space Champion!
Freddy Whoa: Biohazard kicks out!
Zach Davis: Forget Biohazard kicking out, Freddy! That was one of the fastest counts I've ever seen a referee give and, more importantly, a hell of a lot faster than the one that Warwick gave for Biohazard earlier! What the hell is going on here?
Freddy Whoa: It's pretty obvious, isn't it?
Zach Davis: Huh?
Freddy Whoa: Who's the referee?
Zach Davis: Sidney Warwick.
Freddy Whoa: Who's the wrestler he just fast counted for?
Zach Davis: Hajeet.
Freddy Whoa: Who's the wrestler he didn't fast count for?
Zach Davis: Biohazard.
Freddy Whoa: And the difference between Hajeet and Biohzard is . . .
Zach Davis: Biohazard is fourteen inches taller?
Sidney J. Warwick: It's affirmative action, you racially insensitive twit!
Zach Davis: Wait, he can hear us?
Sidney J. Warwick: Of course I can!
With Biohazard still down, Hajeet looks to the crowd for approval and holds his thumbs high in the air. The audience cheers louder as he does so, at which point Hajeet climbs to the top rope. He plays to the fans a bit more, but, before he can attempt any type of top rope maneuver, Sidney Warwick gets between Hajeet and Biohazard, frantically waving his arms before pulling a yellow card out of his back pocket and holding it up to Hajeet.
Sidney J. Warwick: No moves off the top rope! This is your official warning! If you so much as perform a double axe handle from there, I'll have to disqualify you! I don't want to do that, Hajeet!
A bit confused, Hajeet instead steps down to the second rope.
Hajeet: Like this?
Sidney J. Warwick: Not quite. Hold on for a minute.
Hajeet stays put while Warwick slides out beneath the bottom rope and pulls a box out from under the ring. He slips the box into the ring and then gets back in himself, pulling a bicycle helmet and a pair of elbowpads out of the box and holding them to Hajeet.
Sidney J. Warwick: I need you to put these on for your safety!
Hajeet: My . . . safety?
As Warwick continues to cajole Hajeet into putting the safety gear on, Biohazard climbs back to his feet, shoving Warwick out of the way with one hand. He then grabs Hajeet around the throat with baseball mitt-sized paw.
Zach Davis: CHOKESLAM OFF OF THE SECOND ROPE!
Freddy Whoa: Biohazard goes for the cover . . . but Sidney J. Warwick is refusing to count! It's probably more of that so-called "affirmative action" that we saw earlier!
Biohazard appears to be supremely annoyed, and it looks like he's going to deck Warwick, but he thinks better of it, not wanting to be disqualified. Instead, after a few moments, a look of realization spreads across his face and he drops down to the mat, placing Hajeet into . . .
Freddy Whoa: The Christopher Crossface!
Zach Davis: The second most devastating submission hold in pro wrestling to be named after an adult contemporary musical artist, right after Simon and Garfujiwara armbar!
Freddy Whoa: Biohazard is wrenching back on Hajeet's neck with all of his might, but Sidney Warwick is looking away!
Hajeet: Quit! Quit! I QUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
Zach Davis: Warwick still isn't calling for the bell!
Freddy Whoa: You're going to get him killed, you idiot! End the match!
Finally, resigned to his fate, SJW signals the timekeeper to ring the bell, despite what it means for his preferred winner.
Sidney J. Warwick: Okay, fine, whatever. The winner of this fall is Biohazard.
Zach Davis: Can you imagine what's going through John Rabid's head if he's watching this mockery that Sidney Warwick has made of what used to be the Television Title?
Freddy Whoa: I'm pretty sure that Warwick could literally defecate all over the championship belt and it would be more respectful than what's gone on here so far.
Zach Davis: Heck, I'm pretty sure he could drill a hole in the belt and make love to it here on international television and it would be less disrespectful than this farce of a "match."
Sidney J. Warwick: Too far, Zach.
Zach Davis: Oh, right, he can hear us.
The next thing that everybody hears is "Centuries" by Fall Out Boy.
Sidney J. Warwick: The next entrant into our match hails from Atlanta, Georgia and shares his name with the championship that made me famous . . . Johnny Alpha!
Alpha walks down the ramp with a towel wrapped around his neck, sneering at the audience. When he reaches the ring, he unwraps the towel from his neck and throws it out to a lucky fan in attendance, but not before spitting a huge wad of gum into it.
Sidney J. Warwick: Well that's just unsanitary is what that is.
Johnny Alpha: Hey, Biohazard, YOUR MOTHER IS A WHORE!
Warwick pulls the yellow card from his back pocket again and holds it up to Alpha.
Sidney J. Warwick: Yellow card for slut-shaming! Biohazard's mom may have slept with half of the locker room, including me, but there's no reason to make her feel inferior for owning her sexuality in the same way that you would applaud a man for doing.
Enraged at what has just been said about his mother, Biohazard cocks back his gigantic fist and swings it at Johnny Alpha, catching him square in the jaw and levelling him.
Sidney J. Warwick: CLOSED FIST! Immediate disqualification under softcore rules! The winner of this fall and advancing in the match . . . Johnny Alpha!
None too happy about being eliminated from title contention, Biohazard starts to chase after Sidney Warwick, but, before things get too far, video begins to play on the jumbotron depicting a middle aged woman. In the lower left-hand corner of the screen is a graphic that reads "LIVE - BACKSTAGE."
The camera pulls out from its shot of Mrs. Biohazard to reveal Comet standing next to her. Then, the camera pulls back further to reveal Comet's manager, Maktak the Galactic Wizard.
Maktak: Are you read for the next interdimensional challenge, my son?
Comet nods, and all three people depicted on the jumbotron walk down the hall and open a door marked "Broom Closet." They all enter the closet and the door shuts behind them. After a few moments, heavy, excited panting can be heard, and then . . .
Maktak: Say it! Say it, earth woman!
A deep yet feminine voice yells out in ecstasy.
Biohazard's Mom: ZABBUT GONDOODOO!
The video on the tron cuts out. In the ring, Biohazard is shocked.
Biohazard runs and jumps over the top rope, hitting the arena floor and sprinting all the way backstage.
Zach Davis: Well, that was . . . something. Did that have anything to do with the championship match that is supposed to be going on right now?
Freddy Whoa: Nope!
"Green Lights" by NF begins to play throughout the arena.
Sidney J. Warwick: And the next entrant into the match; hailing from just up the road from me in Buffalo, New York . . . Kyle Congdon!
Zach Davis: Here he comes, Kyle "Amazing" Congdon!
Freddy Whoa: Amazing Congdon? Are you trying to get us sued?
Congdon enters the ring and immediately locks up with Johnny Alpha, winning the battle and shoving his opponent off of the ropes. When Alpha rebounds towards Congdon, Congdon takes him down with a drop toe hold and then applies a side headlock.
Sidney J. Warwick: Yes, this is what I like to see!
Zach Davis: Congdon is controlling the pace right now, and, though this is a matchup that I'm quite interested in seeing I'm not quite sure how these "softcore" rules will mar it.
Freddy Whoa: Both men are essentially fresh as well. Even though Johnny Alpha has already been involved in one fall of this gauntlet match, all he did was take a single punch from Biohazard.
Zach Davis: You have to wonder if that was actually part of Alpha's strategy . . . taunting Biohazard with news of his mother's apparently-true reputation in order to get Biohazard to execute the one move that Alpha knew would get him immediately disqualified.
Freddy Whoa: If that's the case, it didn't take long for somebody to figure out how to use these screwed up rules to their advantage.
Sidney J. Warwick: Screwed up rules? Again, I can hear you.
Congdon continues to squeeze on the headlock for a period of time before transitioning over into an armbar.
Sidney J. Warwick: Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Good, old school technical wrestling.
Johnny Alpha does a forward roll off of his stomach, which allows him to escape the armbar and kip up on to his feet.
Sidney J. Warwick: Ooo, baby.
Freddy Whoa: Something tells me it's a good thing that he's wearing those baggy culottes.
Zach Davis: Where do you find culottes for men, anyway?
Sidney J. Warwick: All clothing is for all genders, Zach! They're men's culottes so long as a man is wearing them.
As Kyle Congdon attempts to get up off of the mat, Johnny Alpha reaches back and kicks him in the side of his head, causing him to fall flat on his stomach.
Freddy Whoa: Doesn't it seem a bit odd to you that the rules for this match prohibit top rope moves and head-dropping moves under the guise of preventing CTE, but strikes to the head haven't been outlawed?
Zach Davis: Again, do you really think that what's going on here is actually about protecting anybody? I'd bet dollars to Sidney's gluten-free donuts that this whole project has no purpose other than bending John Rabid's nose out of shape.
Johnny Alpha backs off of his opponent for a bit, gesturing that he's waiting for him to get back up to his feet. Once he does, Alpha looks for a spin heel kick, but Congdon has the presence of mind to move out of the way, and Johnny crashes and burns. He's not hurt badly and gets up again, but Congdon boots him in the gut before cradling Alpha's right leg and head.
Freddy Whoa: It looks like he's going to go for the fisherman buster that he calls the Dragon Rush!
Kyle Congdon begins to lift Johnny Alpha up for that very move, but, about halfway through the process, he thinks better of it and puts Alpha back down.
Freddy Whoa: Wait, what?
Zach Davis: It looks like he didn't want to go through with the Dragon Rush because he was afraid that the head drop would get him disqualified!
Johnny Alpha takes advantage of the split second opening and connects with a swinging jawbreaker.
Freddy Whoa: Alpha Crusher!
Johnny stays on top of his opponent and immediately pulls him up off of the mat, lifting him up and hitting a cradle piledriver.
Zach Davis: Alpha Driver! And he goes for the cover!
Sidney Warwick reacts to the brutal piledriver that he's just seen by pulling his yellow card out of his back pocket and waving it in the air. However, as soon as he realizes that Alpha has dropped down in to a pinning combination, he drops down himself and starts the count.
Zach Davis: And Johnny Alpha has eliminated Kyle Congdon from the match!
Freddy Whoa: It looks like Alpha won that fall because he paid more attention to the rules than Kyle Congdon did. Congdon gave up on the fisherman buster because he thought he'd be disqualified, but Alpha remembered that the rules called for a yellow card for one head drop before the DQ, giving Johnny a single opportunity to use his finisher in this match.
Zach Davis: But did he burn his only freebie too early? He's still got one more opponent to go if he wants to win the Safe Space Softcore Title.
Sidney J. Warwick: And who wouldn't want to do that?
The NFL Theme starts to play as Dan Capello walks out of the backstage area.
Sidney J. Warwick: Stop playing that music right now! I will not allow any free air time in my match for that horrendous organization which covered up the traumatic, life threatening effects of concussions on its players! I listened to Will Smith and Chris Nowinski!
The NFL Theme stops playing. Confused, Dan Capello stops walking to the ring, as though he has to have music in order to do so.
Sidney J. Warwick: No, wait. Wait a minute. The NFL is also full of brave patriots who are demonstrating to draw attention to this nation's epidemic of police brutality and our incompetent commander in chief. Hit the music again.
The NFL Theme resumes, and Dan Capello starts to walk to the ring again.
Sidney J. Warwick: But on the OTHER hand, the NFL is a professional organization in which a majority white ownership regularly exploits the labor of a majority black group of employees, not making a fair share of capital with them, which means that . . . oh, forget about it. My thoughts on the NFL are way too complicated.
Fortunately, Capello has made it to the ring apron by this point, so Warwick no longer has to think about whether the NFL Theme will or will not play. Capello steps into the ring in between the ropes but somehow gets his left foot caught on the bottom rope while doing so and stumbles forward. Johnny Alpha immediately takes advantage.
Zach Davis: Uranage by Alpha!
Freddy Whoa: Dan Capello's inexperience cost him, as he couldn't even get into the ring properly.
Alpha senses that Capello is not quite softened up enough to be beaten, so he picks him up and whips him off the ropes. However, Capello has recuperated and leaps into the air, slamming Alpha with a Thesz press.
Freddy Whoa: Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!
Zach Davis: Shouldn't you be yelling "Lou Thesz! Lou Thesz! Lou Thesz!"?
Freddy Whoa: Wait a second . . . Dan Capello isn't allowed to punch Johnny Alpha, so now he doesn't know what to do with Alpha after taking him down with the Thesz press!
Zach Davis: That creates an opening . . . small package by Alpha on Capello!
Freddy Whoa: You know that Warwick has to be a fan of that!
Freddy Whoa: Dan Capello manages to kick out!
The two wrestlers pop up to their feet at the same time. Capello, not having the same ring presence as Alpha, is a bit disoriented when it comes to his positioning in the squared circle, allowing Alpha to catch him off guard with a big clothesline.
Zach Davis: And the momentum of that clothesline sends both men sailing over the top rope and down to the arena floor!
As the two wrestlers writhe in pain on the pretty black mats, Sidney J. Warwick puts a hand on each side of his head and looks supremely disappointed for a few moments before finally turning and signaling for the bell.
Sidney J. Warwick: Ladies, gentlemen, and others, unfortunately the rules of the Softcore Safe Space division clearly state that leaving the ring for any reason causes a forfeit of the match. Because Johnny Alpha and Dan Capello have both left the ring and because they are our only two remaining competitors, I have no choice but to rule this match . . . A DRAW!
Zach Davis: No choice? He's been given carte blanche to control this entire division! He could do whatever he wants.
Sidney J. Warwick: As far as what this means for the inaugural Softcore Safe Space Championship, I suppose that I'll have to give that some more thought. For the time being, the belt comes with me!
Warwick picks up the belt from the timekeeper and walks to the back, stepping over the prone bodies of Johnny Alpha and Dan Capello along the way.
Freddy Whoa: Well, that was a lot of buildup to . . . absolutely nothing.
Zach Davis: This will rank among the biggest travesties in professional sports, right along the Black Sox Scandal and the Heidi Bowl.
Freddy Whoa: And all coming on the heels of that same title being part of one of the most epic championship reigns in the history of our promotion . . .
The show returns to a video package, what appears to be a direct feed from a security camera trained on the wrought-iron gate guarding a drive way leading to a sprawling and tasteful estate. Two men stand by the sides of the gate, both dressed in suits and wearing earpieces. In the bottom corner of the screen, the timestamp rolls, indicating this video is indeed a live feed. After lingering on this scene, the feed switches to another security camera – this one trained on the front door of the estate. The lights are on inside. Another pair of guards stands at attention. All quiet on the western front. The camera switches again. We see the interior, an elegant main room which opens to a grand staircase leading up and several hallways leading to the kitchen and a tasteful sitting room. All is peaceful. The feed jumps again: we see the interior of a bedroom. A woman sits before a vanity mirror brushing her long black hair. Her face is familiar – Alessandra Malignaggi, wife of Joey Flash.
The feed begins on the first camera, the guards standing by the gate. They stand still as ever, if not looking a touch bored. The second camera – the front door remains closed and its guards static. Third camera: the grand hall is still as undisturbed. On the fourth camera, Alessandra continues brushing her hair.
The feed begins again. On the first camera, the gate remains closed. The wind rustles the hedges beside the gate playfully. Blood flows freely from the torn-out throats of the two guards who lay slumped against their posts. The second camera: one of the guards has reached for his pistol as the other turns towards the door. A gunshot tears through the skull of the first guard, splattering his brains against the brick sides of the house and boring a deep hole into the wooden door. As the second guard opens the door and attempts to retreat into the house, a bullet tears through his back. He staggers, blood flowing from the exit wound in his chest. A barrage of three more bullets lay him down. Third camera: the Great Hall is untouched, save a vase now broken by a stray shot. Fourth camera: Alessandra is brushing her hair.
The cycle begins again. The first camera show the gate, the breeze still tussling the bushes. No trace exists of the guards. The second camera displays the slain bodies of the second two guards. Before the feed jumps, a spindly, spider-like old man with gray hair enters the frame. He wears an ill-fitting brown slack suit and smokes a cigar. Looking at the bodies, he pauses to crouch down and touch one of the guards before the feed jumps to camera three. The Great Hall remains the same, though a brief moment of visual clipping along of the bottom of the screen is evident. Fourth camera: Alessandra has stood up, her back now turned to the camera and a gun raised. In the frame of the doorway, a man in a diamond mask and crown leers threateningly at her. As she pulls the trigger, the video ends.
Kyle Steel: The following mixed tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Fort Apache, Bronx, New York, Justice Arkady!
Soft guitar music fills the arena as Rammstein's Mutter begins to play. Then the arena lights go dark as rd laser like tracer lights roam the arena, converging on the entry curtain, that is suddenly blown outward by a gout of air and the space is suddenly filled by.... Justice!
As twin gouts of flame and sparks rise from either side of the entryway she strides purposefully down toward the ring, high fiving and posing with the crowd. When she reaches the ring, she slides under the bottom rope and smoothly comes to her feet, posing with both arms raised in the center of the ring to the four sides of the arena before retreating to her own corner to await the start of the match. When she reaches the corner the music goes quiet.
Kyle Steel: And her partner, from Snyder, Texas, weighing in at 234 lbs, “The Rabid” Steve Wolf!
The lights in the arena slowly fade till the stage is only lit by flickering strobes. A low howl spills threw the speakers as the stage is filled with a thick fog. Soon a figure is seen within the fog silhouetted by the strobes. Steve Wolf emerges from the fog his head hung wearing a modified gas mask and he waits for the howl to stop. With a quick motion he rips the mask off and lets out a howl of his own. The lights flick back on as he tilts his head back still howling.
As soon as he ends it Whatever It Takes by Hollywood Undead begins to play. He looks out at the crowd snarling then he gives them a come-on arm gesture as he heads toward the ring giving the fans high fives as he passes. When he gets to the ring he jumps on to the apron and turns back toward the ramp again snarling. His head tilts back as he again goes into a wolf like howl. He quickly climbs threw the ropes still snarling, stalking back and forth ready for a fight.
Kyle Steel: And their opponents, first, from Glasgow, Scotland, Alina Murphy!
"The Greatest" by Sia plays and out skips Alina Murphy in converse sneakers and a half red, half black sports bra, spandex shorts outfit that is covered in cross bone skull patterns and broken heart designs. Alina twists her pigtails around the pinky finger as she walks up the steel stairs and steps through the middle and bottom ropes into the ring.
Kyle Steel: And her partner, from Compton, California, weighing in at 220 lbs, “The Strikemaster” Jason Robinson!
Jason Robinson walks out of the locker room with a smile on his face. He has headphones on and he runs down the ramp. He slides in the ring and starts to go to the corner and stands on the second rope. He does his signature hand symbol, sticking his index, middle, and pinkie finger up. He does this to the other corners until his entrance is done. He does this while his theme, "Jump Around." by House of Pain, plays in the background.
Zach Davis: Here we go! We used to have a lot of female competitors here, but someone scared them all away. I bet it was Seth.
Freddy Whoa: I'd take that bet!
Wolf and Robinson opt to start the match off against each other, and they signify a show of mutual respect towards one another with a handshake, which is met with a polite response from the audience. The two circle each other and lock up, with Wolf being able to force his taller yet lighter opponent into the turnbuckles. Wolf attempts a knife edge chop but Robinson is able to evade the move and turn the tables on Wolf, sending him into the corner and delivering a chop of his own. Robinson drags Wolf out to the center and throws a few right hooks before tagging in Alina. The small but fierce Alina temporarily drives the wind out of Wolf with a spin kick before bouncing off of the ropes and delivering a dropkick to the face. She covers.
1… 2… Kickout.
Zach Davis: First nearfall of the night! With us heading into One, a match like this is super important - who knows what spot you'd get on the card with a win here?
Alina wrenches Wolf’s arm, but Wolf wrenches hers in return and tags in Justice, who ascends the ropes and drives a double axe handle into Alina’s shoulder. Justice whips Alina off of the ropes and throws herself at her opponent with a crossbody block, landing on her for the pin.
1… 2… Kickout.
Freddy Whoa: These are all new competitors to the WCF but in their promos, it seems like both teams would be working fairly well as a unit, and we're seeing that right here.
Justice pulls Alina up to her feet and whips her into the ropes. Justice charges at Alina, who deftly steps through the ropes and delivers a rope hung kick to Justice’s head. Alina then quickly springs up the ropes and turns, landing on Justice with a crossbody of her own. Alina rears her head back and screams, grabbing at her hair as she does so, which is met with a positive, if not startled, reply from the fans. Alina tags Robinson back into the match and he takes Alina down with a scoop slam, fluidly following up with a sleeper hold. The move surprises many who have taken note of Robinson, as his street background mainly translates into a brawling style. Robinson keeps the torque on Justice, who begins to get back to her feet. Robinson cuts her off by hooking her up for a back suplex, but Justice lands on her feet and slides in between Robinson’s legs. She lunges towards her corner and tags in Wolf, who takes Robinson off of his feet with a clothesline. Wolf ducks under a clothesline attempt and springs off of the ropes, landing a variation of the diving European uppercut and covering Robinson.
1… 2… Kickout.
Wolf brings Robinson back up by the hair and brings him back down again with a belly to belly suplex. Wolf rolls under the ropes and onto the apron, where he launches into a springboard swanton bomb. Wolf hooks the leg as he lands on Robinson.
1… 2… Alina breaks up the pin.
Zach Davis: Once again - despite being relative strangers, each member of each team wants to earn the win and they want to work together to do that.
Alina furiously wails on Wolf with a series of punches, but Justice cuts her off with an exploder suplex. Wolf goes back to his corner and tags in Justice. Robinson goes for an elbow strike, but Justice ducks under and bounces off of the ropes, springboarding into a moonsault. Alina returns to the ring and cinches in a guillotine choke on Justice, applying the body scissors for added effect. Justice almost drops to her knees, but she tosses Alina off of her with a big suplex. Robinson then knocks down Justice with a big knife edge chop before ascending the ropes for the diving headbutt. Justice rolls out of the way in the nick of time, just as Alina sneaks in a blind tag.
Justice doesn’t spot Alina until the last second and she gets her clock cleaned with a shining wizard. Alina deftly cinches in the Twister hold on Justice. Wolf goes to cut Alina off, but Robinson recovers and cinches in a guillotine choke on Wolf. Wolf taps out while Justice refuses.
Kyle Steel: Here are your winners, Alina Murphy and “The Strikemaster” Jason Robinson!
Alina releases the hold on Justice Arkady who refused to tap.
Zach Davis: I don't think Justice Arkady is going to be satisfied with the way this match turned out!
Freddy Whoa: Same here. There is no love lost between here and Alina Murphy and I feel a rivalry may be just starting here!
The lights fade as David Lynch's "The Pink Room" hits in the darkness. Golden spotlights scan the audience, and smoke pours out in front of the deep red lights that glow just beyond the curtain. An explosion sets off two pillars of fire on the stage, and Dune emerges in their wake. He stands atop the ramp and takes in the scene, acknowledging the WCF Faithful before he turns toward the ring. His cold eyes remain fixed on it as he strides down the ramp.
Kyle Steel: Making his way to the ring...from the badlands of the Mojave Desert...weighing in at 276 pounds...DUUUUUNE!
Zach Davis: DUUUUUNE’S HERE!!!
Freddy Whoa: DA BADMAN FROM DA BADLANDS!!!
The crowd cheers for Dune as he confidently marches towards the ring, microphone gripped in the palm of his meaty hand. He slides underneath the bottom rope as Steel and the rest of the ringside assistants clear the area. Zach Davis and Freddy Whoa – two of the bravest sons of bitches in the world – remain. “The Pink Room” fades out as Dune holds up a clobbering paw and the crowd dies with the song.
Dune: I know you’re here, I recognize that stench anywhere – fear, cowardice. Two words that will describe Jack until whatever’s left of him festers in the darkest corners of oblivion…and after One, it won’t be much. I’ve been waiting a long time for this, everyday in the Mojave I remember what you’ve done, those who you’ve killed to have your end away, Jack. Their screams, their eyes…
Dune falters for a split second, his mind seems to drift elsewhere, but only for a moment.
Dune: …used to keep me up at night. Now when I see their faces, it galvanizes me. I know that YOU JACK, are responsible for it, not me! You’ve taken too much from too many and now we’re coming to collect. One is a short time away…but something tells me you can’t wait. You’re ravenous now, like an animal backed into the world’s smallest corner, like the…
THE LIGHTS CUT OUT, BUT IMMEDIATELY RETURN! WADE MOOR IS STOOD IN THE RING WITH DUNE AND THE CROWD ERUPTS! THE TWO STARE EACH OTHER DOWN, BUT IT’S DUNE WHO BREAKS IT AND DROPS BACK AGAINST THE ROPES.
Dune: Hello again.
The Jackal sneers and his lips drip saliva as he raises a microphone towards them.
“Wade Moor”: Pleasantries, Dune? I’d thought we were past such trivial things?
Dune: The rules are mine now, not yours.
“Wade Moor”: And what rules are those then?
Dune: You don’t own me. You don’t own Wade Moor. You die. Plain and simple.
“Wade Moor”: The rules appear to be stacked in your favor. No. Fair.
Dune: Yeah? Tough shit, Jack.
Wade closes the distance between the two and now Dune is on his toes.
“Wade Moor”: You think you have power here?!
The Jackal snarls again, but Dune neither winces nor flinches.
Dune: I know YOU don’t. I know every time I’ve beat you, you’ve managed to slither back…but I can feel you getting weaker. Every time I crush you under my boot, a part of you dies, and if I have to rip you apart piece by piece, then know that is what I’ll do. I’ll do everything it takes to annihilate you. You have no power over me.
“Wade Moor”: This one is stronger than you.
Dune: Maybe…but if I could get out? Then he definitely can. Do you know who you’re dealing with?
The crowd pops for Wade…but The Jackal only laughs, silencing them.
“Wade Moor”: He may have resisted. They all do at first…but this one has handed over the reins. He didn’t desire control anymore. He couldn’t shoulder the responsibility anymore and gave up willingly. Should I show you?
The Jackal closes his black, empty, beaded eyes…and they snap open, instead replaced by a dampened ocean blue hue. The expression changes from one of confidence…to one of emptiness in a blink. Dune comes in closer and places his hands on Wade Moor’s shoulder.
Dune: Wade…I know. I know you can hear me. I know you can fight him. He’s nothing compared to you. You’re The Leviathan, GODNILLA HIS DAMN SELF, WADE MOOR!!!
Crowd pops again.
Wade Moor: I…was…not…enough.
Dune: No, damn it! You have to fight! You have to…
But Wade was already gone, and now The Jackal was in his place again.
“Wade Moor”: What did I say? What have I been telling you this entire time? It’s futile. You want to save Moor so badly? You want to succeed where you’ve failed time and time again?! Then I say…try. Try Dune. Try as hard as you can bec…
Dune slaps the microphone out of The Jackals hand and drops his to the floor with a clatter. One step and he’s in The Jackals face once more, but The Jackal only smirks, mouthing.
“Wade Moor”: Come on. Take him.
Dune shakes his head and steps away, picking up his microphone as he does.
Dune: No. No. After all this time…
The crowd starts to boo…
Dune: But if I’ve waited this long to take you out…I can wait another two weeks, Jack. You’re done. Wade, if you can hear me. I’m coming. You just have to fight.
Dune rolls out of the ring and backs up the ramp.
Dune: You just have to fight.
Dune drops his microphone and walks towards the back…but with a blink of the lights, The Jackal is no longer stood in the ring, and an eerie silence washes over the entire arena as the scene fades to black.
Zach Davis: And we're back here at the 2300 Arena in the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. This next match should prove to be an interesting one.
Freddy Whoa: You bet your ass, Zachy-boy! Anytime you get six superstars in one ring, it's going to be explosive!
Zach Davis: You said it, Freddy. Especiaally these six.
Kyle Steel: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL. First making his way to the ring, weighing in at 235 pounds, from Salem, North Carolina, Charlie "The Ghost" Rossi!!!
The opening cords of a guitar solo begin as the drum beat begins and increases. The first few words of "Better Than Drugs" by Skillet begin as the arena lights fade out until only a single white spotlight shines down on the center of the ring. The crowd begins to chant GHOST! GHOST! GHOST! in unison. Suddenly, there in all his splendor is the blue eyed angel himself standing with head tilted to the side as his royal blue and white pulpit robe hangs low to the ground. Charlie "The Ghost" Rossi pushes the satin robe open revealing his chiseled frame and steps back to his corner as the arena lights come back up and the crowd continues its jeering. Ghost strikes a knowing grin to the several thousand of onlookers in the arena.
Kyle Steel: Next, introducing from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 216 pounds, Matthew "The Dark King" Black!!!!!
“Root of All Evil” by CFO$ begins to play. The arena is pitch black with a dim light on the ramp. All of a sudden a man appears under the light. Matthew Black looks up slowly towards the ring and his tag team and slowly and meticulously walks to the ring. He gets to the ropes and flips over the top rope and lands in a sitting position in the middle of the ring he peers towards the crowd and he slides to his corner and raises as if possessed by a deeper and darker power. The lights flash once as the music changes.
Kyle Steel: Finally, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing in at 285 pounds, Marshall Gates!!!
Fog begins to take over the entrance ramp and holograms of lighting strike down from the ceiling of the building. He emerges through the smoke throwing his arms back and howling like a wolf as pyrotechnics sound off across stage front. He takes a sprint down the aisle with pyrotechnics sounding off on either side of him as he makes his way to the ring. Once there he jumps onto the apron angrily grabbing the top rope and shaking them with a mad yell. He hops over the top rope landing on two feet and runs to a corner turnbuckle to jump on the second one and rant, rave, and talk bullshit before hopping down, joining th others and nodding to each in turn as they await their opponents.
Kyle Steel: And their opponents, at a combined weight of One thousand twelve pounds, William the Behemoth and Ainsley Ivanovic The Very British Security!
Zach Davis: Two very big, very dominant athletes on their way to the ring. In the form of William the Behemoth and Ivanovic.
Freddy Whoa: Just look at all that gold! William doesn't have enough waistes!
Zach Davis: William defending both of those titles, the Internet and People's championships in just a few short weeks at ONE against tonight's tag partner. Will that play a role here> We will have to see!
The lights dimmer as a spotlight shines towards the entrance ramp. The Republic of Irelands national anthem starts playing and The Very British Security walk into the spotlight and gleefully listen to the song they believe is the UK national anthem. After about 20 or so seconds the lights come back on and VBS march down to the ring.
Kyle Steel: Finally, Making his way to the ring, from Albany, Oregon, weighing in at 256 pounds, Leon "Purple" Hayze!
When Purple Haze starts playing over the PA, the lights dim dramatically low—nearly to total darkness—as smoke slowly starts building up on the stage and near ringside, and the ‘tron comes to life with Leon’s video package. At 34 seconds, when Jimmi starts in with his lyrics, an explosion happens at the pyro and as soon as Leon “Purple” Hayze first is revealed from the smoke, two single pillars of purple fire shoot to either side of him as he spins around twice with his arms outstretched. He lurches back and forth from side to side, as if stoned, slapping hands with the fans down the aisle. When he hits the ring, he hops up onto the apron in a smooth motion, springs up to the top rope, and jumps into the ring. As he lands to his feet, he runs over and hits the second rope on a turnbuckle that faces the ramp, joining his tah team partners with a big grin on his face, randomly pointing to different fans until other team sortswho will start the match.
The refree Stanley Moser, calls for the bell as The Very British Security, Matthew Black and Marshall Gates step out to their respective corners. The Very British Security dwarfing the men in the other corner. At the center of the ring Leon Hayze and Charlie Rossi circle each other cautiously.
Zach Davis: Hayze and Rossi starting things off here in the early going.
Freddy Whoa: You know, I would not want to be in there as the team of Gates, Rossi and Black, facing down these three...
Zach Davis: Not at all, thee other three have them at an over three hundred pound disadvantage!
Rossi and Hayze trade punches back and forth, testing each other still, about half the jabs are either ignored or blocked at this stage of the game. Finally Rossi connects with a sharp chop accross the chest of Leon Hayze and the crowd takes in a collective sympathetic inhalation as Haayze staggers back, his face a mask of pain. He gathers himself though and rushes at The Ghost who is waiting for him and meets him with an attempted shoulder block, but Hayze steamrolls over it, and Rossi hits the mat as Hayze continues on and bulls Matthew Black off the ring Apron. Mrshall Gates strts to pound on the turnbuckle in protest as Rossi gets to his feet and follows after Hayze to his own corner, there turning Leon to face him and delivering a series of body punches, gangland style to Leon Hayze's midsection. Stanley Moser breaks up the assault in the corner, l Rossi steps back, tagging in Marshall Gates and joining Matthew black on the outside.
Zach Davis: Leon Hayze may have miscalculated here, he's in troule if these three can keep him isolated. The giants on the far side can do nothing...
Gates takes hold of the top ropes that make up the corner and slams his body in a splash against leon Hayze, driving him back into the turn buckles. Hayze lunges for the other corner but is caught in a bear hug by Gates and is held back in the corner. Marshall Gages tosses Hayze intothe corner once more and begins to punch him in a more brawling stelythan Rossi had used but again working over the midsection of the man's body. After another splash in the corner, he lifts Hayze up to the top rope and tgs in Matthew Black.
Zach Davis: they are concentrating on the ribs of Leon Hayze, just trading tags with impunity. Hayze needs to get to his coner.
Freddy Whoa: I don't know those two giants don't look exactly eager to get in and help Hayze...
Matthew Black's moves are calculated and deliberate, he gets up onto the second rope and sets Leon Hayze up for the superplex, in a moment, Hayze is up and over and clamming ino the center of the ring o his back. Black as well momentarily stunned by the super plex, The other four men pounding on the turnbuckles and reaching for tags, shouting for their team mates to get up. Black is to his feet first and shaking off the cobwebs as Leon Hayze starts to show signs of life. He climbs to his feet but is definitely favoring his mid section. He starts to come at Black, who dances back a step and then delivers a roundhous kick to Hayze's sie, Leon Hayze goes to one knee, and Black spins ready to try for another kick but Hayze manages to block it, he stumbles back and manags to find the extended hand of Ainsley Ivanovic!
Zach Davis: He comes the Hungarian Giant, Ainsley!
The crowd roars as Ainsley explodes out of his corner, Matthew Black looking like a deer in the headlights as Ainsley 's hands close on his left wrist and whip him into a neutral corner. Ainsley follows him into the corner to punctuate the whip with a descicive splash. Ainsley then goes to work, hauling Matthew black ut of the corner, reeling just a bit. the time is what Black needs and he mounts an attack! Elbowing Ainsle in the gut and then delivering a flurry ofjabs to his face, the taller man staggers back, put off for a moment, and black manages a dropkick to Ainsley's left knee, taking the big man down for a moment, just time for Blck to get to the corner and tag in Marshall Gates.
Gates is back in in a an instant, laying into Ainsley with an Elbow drop. Marshall Gates goes for the cover, hooking Ainsley's leg, but the ref barely gets to a one count before Ainsley bodily presses Gates up and tosses him accross the ring. Marshall Gates is quickly to his feet, wide eyed at being picked up and tossed by a prone man. Ivanovic meanwhile rises, coming to hi feet and moving slowly to his own corner. The opposing corner comes alive to try to stop him, all three wrestlers entering the ring as William the Behemoth gets the tag.
Freddy Whoa: Here he comes!
Marshall Gates is grabbed by William and before Matthew Black or Charlie Rossi can react, powwerbombs him and turns toward the othr two looking for more. They are on him a moment later, pummelling the big man with rights and lefts, William tosses Rossi away, and turns on Matthew Black. Leon Hayze has left his corner and is dragging Rossi out of the ring, While Ainsley Ivanovic is menacing Marshall Gates.
The camera follows Hayze and Rossi as they battle back and forth on the floor. Ainsley and Marshall Gates trade punches on the ring apron while Matthew Black and William the Behemoth are in the ring till as the legal men. William appears to be clubbing Matthew Black with massive right hands. Matthew black finally goes down and William scoops him up only to slam him back down with a scoop slam. William is then able to tag in Ainsley. As he does, Black is able to tag in Gates.
Zach Davis: Gates and Ainsley meet in the center of the ring! Back and forth! Everyone is brawling!
Black is able to hit the BLACK MASS to Ainsley, sending him into the arms of Gates, who Spears him down and goes for the pin.
Freddy Whoa: ONE! TWO! THREE! The challengers for the Alpha Title win it!
Zach Davis: Marshall Gates couldn't pull off his usual finish but with the help of Matthew Black, he put him away! Too bad they won't be teammates come One.. they'll be opponents!
Leon Hayze backpeddles up the ramp with his Alpha Championship as Very British Security regroup, William hanging on to his two Title belts.
Slam returns to another video package, this one clearly being filmed on a handheld camera. The thin, sneering, rat-like visage of Jared Holmes stares into the camera with crazed delight as he taps the side.
Jared Holmes: Show time.
He turns from the camera to reveal Alessandra Malignaggi laying beaten and bloodied on the floor, blood from her nose and mouth having smeared and mixed with her lipstick.. She stares up at him in rage and defiance, pushing herself onto her haunches.
Jared Holmes: Unfortunately for you, I’m not Oblivion. This is very much canon.
Holmes throws his foot down into her face, knocking her back down. He spins his baton in his hand as he whistles “Singing in the Rain”. A blow from the baton cracks Al along the back. A second cracks her on the side of the head. She attempts to push herself up and lunge at Holmes, only for the Six God to step aside and grapple her around the waist, violently flinging her back to the ground before delivery a kick to her mouth. Holmes’ voice rises in anger.
Jared Holmes: YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS FACE ME, JOEY! ALL I WANTED WAS ONE MATCH! ONE MATCH THAT YOUR PRECIOUS EGO AND INSECURITY COULDN’T BE BOTHERED TO GIVE ME!
Holmes sends another barrage of stomps down on Alessandra. The fight is slowly leaving the Queen of New York from the pure savagery of the assault.
Jared Holmes: WE COULD HAVE MADE MAGIC! WE COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING TOGETHER! I COMPLETED YOU MORE THAN OCCULO, DUNE, OR COREY BLACK EVER COULD!
Placing his foot beneath Al’s ribs, Jared rolls her onto her back. He places his foot on her throat. She responds by spitting a mouthful of blood up the leg of his Lucky brand jeans. Fire flashes in Holmes’ eyes, his designer jeans now ruined, as he presses his foot down. And then… a slow sense of serenity comes over him. He eases his step and gazes longingly down at Al.
Jared Holmes: Look at you. So beautiful. Such grace and dignity belaying the heart of a scorpion. That’s why he loves you, isn’t it? You’re everything he wished he could be: confident, strong, quick-witted, and in control. I wonder how he sees you now. Now that I’m the one who’s confident, strong, and in control. Now that you’re weak, broken, and at my mercy.
He sighs like a blushing lover, turning to a figure off screen.
Jared Holmes: Tear this place apart. I want the wedding clothes.
He looks back down at Alessandra, his lips pursed in a thin smile.
Jared Holmes: You may think that your wedding day was the worst day of your life, Joey. That Jackal took everything he could. But there’s a reason that Jackal and whatever new nonsense he’s become involved with will be somewhere in the middle while I’ll be at the top…
He presses his boot down. Alessandra begins to choke, her hands wrapped around his ankle as she fights to get him off.
Jared Holmes: Because I’m going to make what Jackal did feel like spilling ketchup on your shirt.
As her grip begins to weaken, Jared removes his foot … then swings it back to punt Alessandra in the head, knocking her unconscious. He takes the camera from the hands of the camera man and stares into it, a small giggle emitting from his lips.
Jared Holmes: Face me tonight at Slam. Answer my challenge. This is your last chance. And if not…
The smile leaves his lips, his eyes wide and evil as he stares into the camera
"Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns n' Roses hits and the crowd stand on their feet cheering in anticipation when the lights shut off leaving the arena in complete darkness as the drums and electric guitar hit their apex crescendo. A barrage of pyros explode on stage and flickering strobe lights pulsate to the beat of the song as Jack Smith steps out on stage with a smirk to a mixed reaction. Jack Smith plays air guitar while making his way down the aisle and rolling into the ring.
Kyle Steel: Ladies our first competitor stands at 6 feet 3 inches tall. He weighs in at 203 pounds and is from Irvine Scotland. This is Jack Smith!
Smith is met with a mixed reaction from the raucous Philly crowd.
Zach Davis: Freddy , Smith is relative newcomer to WCF and we don’t know much about him, at all
Freddy Whoa: We know he has a past as a professional prize fighter.
Kyle Steel: And his tag team partners….
lights go out, then Jay walks out as Evanescence-Bring Me To Life starts, then the lights turn on with the dark blue tint and Jay walks down the ramp stopping halfway looking out at the crowd before continuing to the ring. Once there he slowly crawls in as blue smoke appears at ring. Then he stands up snatching the mask off then covering his face with hood before revealing his face.
Kyle Steel: He is from Macon , Georgia. He stands at 6 feet 1 inch tall. He weighs 220 pounds. Jay West!!
The crowd is mostly unresponsive
Fans roar to a loud announcement, “Fellows of the Galaxy, we come in peace!” Music follows, “War” by Grandson, The area suddenly flashes bright green with a video of lunar surface, colored purple, rotates with the names “Comet” and “Maktak” in fluorescent red. Lasers lights flash to the appearance of Comet carrying Maktak the Galactic Warlord over his left shoulder. Comet flashes two fist forward, then takes a starting pose, before darting to the ring – Comet makes whooshing rocket noises as they rush to the ring.
At the apron, he removes the carrying basket before taking a seat on the apron. Comet then hoists Maktak above his head, whom in turn flashes his necklace “the Grand Core” to the crowd. Fans bow and chant “we are not worthy” until Comet lets his master back onto stable ground. He then rolls under the ropes and takes center stage to several firework flares streaking across the arena. Comet then goes to a corner in preparation for the bout.
Kyle Steel: And their tag team partner stands at 7 feet 1 inch tall. He weighs 401 pounds. His hometown is Lewes Delaware. He now resides within the Protector's Hall on Dikron. This is Comet!!
The crowd explodes in excitement as Comet enters the ring.
"Better Than You" by Sam Adams begins to play and Kyle Kemp walks out slowly to the top of the stage. He stands with his arms out and soaks in boos from the crowd. He slowly saunters his way down to the ring, taunting the fans. He walks up the steps and gets in the ring with a smile and just leans on one of the turnbuckles, indifferent to anything that anyone is saying to him and waiting for the match to start. The fans hate how he's not responding to them and continue to boo louder.
Kyle Steel: And introducing their opponents. First, from Chicago Illinois. He weighs 208 pounds and stands 6 feet 5 inches tall. This is Kyle Steel!!!
The crowd explodes with a chorus of boos.
Freddy Whoa: If there is only one thing we know about Kyle Kemp, it’s that he’s better than you.
Zach Davis: Well he’s better than you too.
The lights begin to slowly go off, section by section, until the arena is completely black. "Get Born Again" by Alice in Chains blares over the PA system as the lights on the stage begin to slowly flash on and off. Mikey eXtreme steps out onto the stage with his arms held out and his head titled back as he looks to the ceiling. Vidalia and Freakshow flank him as they make their way ringside. Mikey ignores the fans trying to reach out to touch him. He throws the kendo stick into the ring and rolls under the bottom rope, crawling to the corner where he sits laughing and rocking back and forth. Freakshow circles the ring, staring at Mikey's opponents as Vidalia whispers some kind of plan into Mikey's ear.
Kyle Steel: Making his way down to the ring being accompanied by Vidalia and Freakshow, hailing from Brooklyn, New York and weighing in at 225 lbs, Mikey eXtreme!
Mikey gets a loud but mixed reaction from the crowd
Zach Davis: Some hate him, some love him . but they all have an opinion about him.
The Crowd explodes as a pounding drum beat tears throughout the arena, signalling the arrival of the one and only Teo del Sol! The lights drop, enveloping the arena in darkness as they turn towards the entrance ramp. "The Pretender" by Foo Fighters echoing throughout the arena.
With a crescendo and a burst of flame, Teo del Sol springs onto the entrance ramp, the red and white scarred mask covering his face. The audience roars as he holds his arms out and bathing momentarily in the applause before heading towards the ramp with a sprint.
He makes a lap around the side of the ring high fiving the fans along the way. The mask wears a happy grin as he rolls between the ropes, staring out into the arena before shrugging and walking to the turnbuckle.
He holds his arms over his head and yells out a cry, which the fans all join in on, eliciting a cheer from the audience as the music reaches its crescendo. Just as the lyrics hit their zenith, he stands atop the turnbuckle and removes the mask to reveal the wrestler beneath. He turns and steps back into the ring, waiting for the bell.
Kyle Steel: Ladies and Gentlemen. From Houston Texas. He is 6 feet tall and weighs 188 pounds. This is Teo del Sol!!!
Zach Davis: The crowd is loving Teo del Sol right now.
Freddy Whoa: It’s not to love the guy. He always gives 110%. A true WCF superstar.
The action starts quickly as del Sol hits a running dropkick on West that sends him over the top and then he hits a knee to Comet that sends the Giant to the floor as well. Jack Smith starts for his team by default. He hits del Sol with a clubbing forearm and follows up with discus elbow that puts del Sol to the mat. Smith goes to pick del Sol up and Teo hits a Pele kick to the top of Smith’s head. That sent Snitch reeling toward his corner and Comet paws him for a tag.
Zach Davis: The Colossus Comet is the legal man and he has his sights set on del Sol. Del Sol is doing his best to roll out of the way, but Comet keeps coming. Comets stops to catch his breath and then drops down with a standing body splash that Teo cannot roll away from.
Freddy Whoa: Comet is slowly back to his feet and lands a heavy leg drop right across the throat of del Sol. Oh man, del Sol is gasping for air under the weight of Comet oversized leg.
Zach Davis: Jay West just tagged a seated Comet on the shoulder and is now the legal man. He springs to the top rope and lands a legdrop off the top rope just as Comet moves!
Freddy Whoa: But del Sol moved too and Jay West hits the canvas right with his tuckus. Del Sol dtill not able to get to the corner for the tag. That allows a sore Jay West get to del Sol and drop a knee.
Again del Sol is able to move and West hits the canvas with his knee. Still groggy and unable to make it to his corner. del Sol lay on the mat as West struggles to his feet. West gets to his feet while del Sol remains on the mat. West gets to del Sol’s side and attempts a moonsault. The moonsault misses and del Sol finds the energy to leap to his corner and gives a tag to Kyle Kemp. Kemp charges at West and hits a dropkick to West while still seated. This leaves West flat on the mat. Kemp picks West up and delivers a German Suplex. . The momentum takes West right to his corner where he is tagged by Jack Smith. Smith charges quickly and he and Kemp meet in the middle of the ring.
Zach Davis: Smith and Kemp are going toe to toe in the middle of the ring. Each punch seems to be harder than the previous. Smith hits Kemp, Kemp hits Smith, Smith hits Kemp, Kemp hits..
Freddy Whoa: No! Smith ducks and quickly rolls Kemp into a small package. Moser with the count!
Thre..KICKOUT BY KEMP!
Zach Davis: Kemp kicks out quickly and immediately gets to his feet. He is actually to his feet before Smith. He meets Smith with a kick to the gut. And then a stiff DDT and a cover of his own.
THR..KICKOUT BY SMITH.
Both men are to their feet and Smith quickly approaches Kemp. Smith hits an Open Hand Ear Slap and Kemp’s knees buckle but he remains standing. Smith continues with a Spinning Capoeira Kick that puts Kemp to the mat. The energetic Smith applies a Rolling Boston Crab and immediately Stanley Moser is asking Kemp if he wants to give it up.
Zach Davis: Kemp isn’t giving up that easy and Stanley knows it.
Freddy Whoa: I’m sure he does, but he has got to do his job. Kemp is shaking his head no as he reaches for the rope.
Zach Davis: He made the ropes! Smith breaks the hold but then quickly delivers a knee to the back that lands with ultimate impact. This guy truly is a professional. He knows the tricks and he know when to use them. Another knee followed by another and another.
Freddy Whoa: Great job by Smith of using the ropes for leverage and getting maximum damage out of the impact move.
Zach Davis: But look, Mikey eXtreme has had enough and he walks over and clubs Smith right in the temple. That sends Smith reeling back to his corner, where Comet makes a quick tag.
Kemp is able to tag eXtreme and he hops the rope and meets Comet with a flying knee that startles the giant but doesn’t get him to the mat. A dazed Comet doesn’t see eXtreme ascend to the top rope, but he feels the boot hit him in the face as eXtreme hits a missile dropkick. This also stumbles Comet but doesn’t floor him. eXtreme sizes up the situation and bounces off the ropes running toward Comet. He tries another flying knee, but this time an exhausted Comet is able to catch eXtreme and drop him with a huge chokeslam.
Zach Davis: I’m sure if he had a choice, it may have been due to exhaustion, but Comet just quickly covered Kemp. Moser hops over the Comet/eXtreme pile to begin his count.
THRE.. DEL SOL WWITH A BOOT TO COMET’S HEAD
Freddy Whoa: Nice teamwork by del Sol.
Zach Davis: It sure was and now he using all of that five count to whip Comet back to his corner.
Freddy Whoa: West slaps a tag on Comet and he hops over the tip rope only to be met with a superkick by del Sol who quickly exits the ring to avoid the five count.
Zach Davis: Kemp is in the ring with West and Kemp is to his feet. Kemp hits West with a series of chops that paralyze West. Those are sure to leave a mark!
Kemp continues with a spinebuster that he follows up with another spinebuster followed by a pinfall.
THRE..SMITH WITH A KNEE TO THE BACK OF KEMP’S HEAD FOR THE SAVE!!
Freddy Whoa: Real impressive by Smith. He is again able to live up to his nickname the Professional. Not sure if this match would still be going on if Smith weren’t here.
Zach Davis: Smith heads back to his corner leaving West to defend for himself again. Not a good idea as Kemp is right back to work on West.
Kemp delivers another set of two spinebusters followed up quickly with a neckbreaker. Kemp whips West into the corner where Kemp tags del Sol. Kemp hoists West onto his shoulders. Del Sol climbs the rope and lauches off and hits West with a clothesline.
Zach Davis: Did you see that? West just got clotheslined off of Kyle Kemp’s shoulders onto the mat. Del Sol is the legal man and he goes for the cover. Comet and Smith enter the ring, but they are met by eXtreme and Kemp who are able to usher them out of the ring with clotheslines! Moser with the count!
Freddy Whoa: The team of Kyle Kemp, Teo del Sol, and Mikey eXtreme take this one.
"Self Destruct" by This Cold Life enters the arena and The Risen makes their way from the back, with Madden having his back to the crowd and Marius walking out with a smirk on his face. They are soon joined by Theresa McShane, who looks on with a smile on her face and her arms folded. Madden turns to see the crowd, then stands in front of Marius, who throws his arms up repeatedly to hype up the crowd. Madden drops to one knee and lowers his head, and Marius stands behind him with his head lowered. At the :16 mark of the song, they both throw their heads up and spread their arms apart, making gun gestures with their hands. McShane stands behind them, making the same gun gestures pointed forward. Madden springs up to his feet, and the trio then goes down the ramp, tagging hands with the fans they pass by. Madden and Marius soon enter the ring and hop onto separate turnbuckles, spreading their arms apart with the same gun gestures as before. The Risen hops down onto the ring and remove their vests, which are received by McShane, before preparing for the match.
Freddy Whoa: Risen are here and they look ready to rock!
Zach Davis: They’re not here for rock, roll, R or B. They’re here for EK and SS.
Freddy Whoa: That’s right, they’ve got a chance to soften up Ethan King here tonight in advance of their Hardcore title shot at ONE.
The beginning of "Alone With All The World” plays triumphantly throughout the arena, enticing a raucous wave of cheers from the crowd. The lights gradually begin to dim, coming down to a dark hue that places extra emphasis on the stage. Large, golden letters flash over the black titantron.
THE FUTURE KING...
A flash of golden pyro goes off as Ethan King makes his way to the top of the entrance ramp from the backstage area, all-knowing smile spread over his face as he holds both arms out in a welcoming gesture, bathing in both the admiration and awe from the audience in attendance.
Kyle Steel: Introducing now the REIGNING Hardcore Champion! Hailing from Los Angeles, California. He is 'The Iron Heart'... ETHAN KING!"
The young superstar begins his descent down the ramp, Hardcore Title held over his shoulder, stopping occasionally to tag or shake the hands of the fans reaching over the barricade towards him.
He bounds up onto the apron of the ring, mouthing the words “Showtime” to the camera before leaping and swinging himself over the top rope, he lands elegantly and spins around, holding his arms out once more before coming to a complete stop in the center of the ring. He shrugs his Hardcore Title off his shoulder, raising it high above his head with one arm, before handing it over to the official.
He smiles once more before retreating to his own corner of the ring, sitting down with a look of amusement on his face as he awaits for the match to commence.
The gruff voice from the 80s sample announces "Cold getting dumb..." as the VeryBigTron flashes the word "STEPHEN SINGH" in a shimmering gold before being replaced by a gray-tinted montage of Stephen Singh brutalizing past opponents. The menacing beat of the Supervillain Theme by Mad Villain fills the arena, golden pyros form 5 ft high fountains across the stage, and "Superstar" Stephen Singh steps out with a scowl spread across his face. He pauses for a moment at the top of the stage, looking to the booing crowd with disgust.
Kyle Steel: And introducing at this time...The Excellence of Elocution....The Shakespeare of Shoot...The Sure Thing....
As the gold fountains shrink back into the stage, The Superstar begins making his way down the ramp, snarling and angrily jawing with fans on the way. He finally gets to the ring stairs and stomps up them noisily, angrily before wiping his feet on the apron and stepping through the ropes.
Kyle Steel: THE SUPERSTAR STEPHEN SINGH!
He doesn’t make a moment’s eye contact with Ethan before stepping onto the apron and then pointing to The Risen.
Freddy Whoa: The Everest reunion is on but they don’t exactly look like they’re on the same page.
Ethan points a finger toward Singh and can be heard announcing “I don’t take orders from you” before turning around to face Kyle Madden who is ready to start the match for The Risen.
Zach Davis: Singh has tape across his ribs and is probably sporting stitches from getting jumped last week by Gravedigger and company.
Freddy Whoa: By and company do you mean his mother? Anyways, he’s going to have to get into the ring eventually.
Zach Davis: The referee calls for the bell and this one’s underway! Madden and King lock up in a collar and elbow. EK slaps on a hammer lock but Madden throws a back elbow...and a second, harder one but this one is ducked by EK who grabs Madden for a northern lights suplex. He’s up! No! Madden kicks his legs and is back on the ground now and is trying to tighten up a front face lock...but King charges him back into Everest’s corner.
Freddy Whoa: It’s not Everest’s corner, Zach. Look, Ethan has Madden pinned to the turnbuckle, clearly expecting a blind tag from Singh but Singh is turning his back on the option and bowing jawing with the crowd!
Realizing his partner is not currently in a helping mood, King acts fast with a few european uppercuts rocking Madden. King then hops up and sends Madden half way across the ring with a monkey flip. Madden is quickly back to his and charges back toward King who meets him with a boot to the gut and a swinging neckbreaker. The Future King follows it up with a quick standing moonsault into a pin.
Zach Davis: A kickout from Madden on the early pin attempt from King. Ethan doesn’t stop after the brief setback and picks Kyle back up off the mat before nailing him with a spinning heel kick to the gut! Revelation! NO! Madden had it scouted, sidestepped the pele kick, landing Ethan flat on his back! Kyle dives to tag in RH Marius and makes it!
Freddy Whoa: Just as King is getting up, Marius grabs him with a wheelbarrow suplex while Madden nails a neckbreaker! That’s what The Risen have going for them over the former Tag Champs, Zach. They are indisputably on the same page while we saw some...discord between the former stablemates earlier this week.
As King staggers back to his feet Marius absolutely bludgeons him with a clothesline to the back of the head. Marius is quick to follow it up with a few elbow drops before letting King get back to his feet only to slip behind him and plant him nearly through the mat with a german suplex which he quickly follows up with a few elbow drops.
Zach Davis: Marius is in complete control here as he picks King up again and whips him into the ropes and drops his head for a backbody drop...sunset flip from Ethan King! But...he can’t quite get Marius over who now wraps his hands around Ethan’s and….good god he’s lifting him off the mat and into a lifting choke!
Freddy Whoa: Chopblock by Stephen Singh! Out of nowhere he dives into the ring and takes out the knee of Marius! Looks like he finally decided to get involved. And with Marius now on his knees, Singh follows up with a running knee to the side of his head!
Zach Davis: As King recovers, Madden charges in and drops him with a bulldog! And now Madden and Singh are exchanging right hands and the referee appears to have completely lost control!
Freddy Whoa: Madden nails Singh with a knee lift and then lifts him up for a brainbuster suplex...but not Singh kicks his legs and counters it right into a small package! He’s got him!
Zach Davis: Yeah he’s got him but he’s not the legal man...neither of them are! The referee is counting but not the pin; he’s just trying to get the illegal men out of the ring.
Singh finally lets go of the pin and gets into the referee’s face only to be german suplexed back toward his corner by the now-recovered Marius. But that opened the door for Ethan King to plant Marius with a backdrop driver.
Zach Davis: BLEAK FUTURE!. Another pin from Ethan King!
Freddy Whoa: NO! Madden breaks it up with a dropkick to the side of King’s head! And with Singh slowly pulling himself up on the apron, they have the upperhand and...6-1-NEIN! WHAT A MOVE! A PIN ON ETHAN KING!
Zach Davis: A kickout from the Hardcore Champ! The Risen thought they had it! The referee is escorting Madden out of the ring now and as he turns his back, Singh rushes in and drills Marius with his set of golden knucks!
Freddy Whoa: MIDAS TOUCH! Marius is out! Singh drags Ethan toward their corner and then hops back to the apron just as the referee turns around to see King reach out and make the tag. Singh flies into the ring and immediately covers Marius….
Zach Davis: NO! Marius with the foot on the rope! Singh is alerted to the foot on the rope by the referee who immediately begins putting the boots the still-downed Marius. Singh picks him up and locks him in the inverted facelock...He’s looking for a Thief In the Night! He wants to make short work of this match!
Freddy Whoa: Kyle Madden breaks the hold before Singh can start it with a springboard dropkick! The Risen saw that one coming too!
As the referee again tries to get Kyle Madden out of the ring, Singh again takes advantage and jabs his thumb in the eye Marius who stumbles backward into the turnbuckle. The former world champ struts slowly to the corner scooping Marius up and into a tree of woe position.
Zach Davis: Singh now out of the ring and absolutely wrenching back on the face of Marius. The referee is counting for a break now that he’s turned around but Singh is looking to break Marius in half!
Freddy Whoa: Madden out of nowhere with the Tiger Feint kick around the ringpost and to the face of Singh! Madden quickly helps his partner down out of the tree of woe and then gets back to his corner.
Marius pulls himself up using the ropes and is headed for his corner but Singh slides back into the ring between Marius and his partner.
Zach Davis: Right hand by Singh! Another! Marius is stumbling back toward the corner, away from Madden...Singh with a leg kick and then a second. Marius turns away partially…
Freddy Whoa: REVOLVER! That spinning backfist just levelled Singh! He’s out! But Marius is back down to a knee and can’t make the cover….Instead, he’s crawling toward his corner….he lunges...Tag to Kyle Madden!
Zach Davis: Knee strikes to the head of the still-downed Singh! King tries to get into the ring but he’s met with a headkick from Madden! Singh back up now but Madden slaps on a hammerlock into a scoop slam...which he holds oo and transitions immediately into a fujiwara armbar! He’s got Singh locked in!
Freddy Whoa: Singh is in pain! And he’s reaching to the ropes….can he make it...NO! Madden pulls him away! Singh has to tap!
Zach Davis: NO! Singh tucks the shoulder and rolls through it and into a triangle choke! BRIGHT LIGHTS! He’s got it locked in on Madden!
Freddy Whoa: Madden is up to his feet but the choke is still locked on...Madden getting woozy...down to a knee. Madden quickly flips over and pins Singh!
Zach Davis: NO! King in to break it up! Both men are down from that exchange but here comes Marius!
Freddy Whoa: Marius with a huge spear and both men fly through the ropes and to the arena floor!
Zach Davis: Madden up first and Singh slow to rise...Madden is measuring him...NEW GUN!
Freddy Whoa: No! Singh ducks the running single leg dropkick! COGNITIVE DISSONANCE! Singh hits him with a backstabber and he grabs Madden before he can hit the mat for The Thief In The Night! Madden slips out! How did he get out?! And into a Clip Unload?!
Zach Davis: NO! Singh ducks the rainmaker lariat, steps behind him and drops him with a Thief In the Night! Singh with the pin!
Freddy Whoa: Wow….Singh pulled it out. What an exchange to finish the match! Madden was matching Singh step for step there. A great showing for The Risen here tonight against the last incarnation of Everest we may ever see....
Zach Davis: What is Singh doing now? He’s outside the ring and looking under the apron...Oh no, he’s got that gold-plated crow bar we’ve seen him with before. He’s standing over Marius now...he’s raising the crow bar up….
Voice: Eeeeeasy there, Steve-o. Why don’t you just take a deep breath and relax.
The voice belongs to Gravedigger who’s suddenly standing on the ramp with a microphone in hand, a bat in the other, three MS-13 members beside him, and next to him is a woman the WCF saw earlier tonight by the name of Donna who knows the seething World Champion as…
Donna: Son? You really shouldn’t be playing with such dangerous objects. You might get...hurt.
With that, Digger signals two of his thugs down to the ring who charge after Singh. Stephen swings at one with the crowbar who ducks it while the other boots Singh in the chest. He drops the crowbar as the duo get a quick advantage.
Freddy Whoa: Ethan King drops one of the gang members with a Shatter the Clouds! But the other clubs him from behind with forearm. Singh just beheaded the MS-13 member with that crowbar!
Gravedigger: If you want something done right..
Digger rolls his neck and starts down the ramp with the last of gang members he brought. Singh smiles as his fingers tighten around that golden crowbar and Digger twirls the bat in his hand. The MS13 member suddenly breaks into a sprint and tackles Ethan King into the crowd. As those two brawl Digger charge toward Singh.
Freddy Whoa: We’re not going to wait for one! It’s Gravedigger and Stehen Singh right here! Right now!
Digger takes a home run swing at Stephen’s head who ducks it and catches Digger in the gut with the crowbar. Singh tries to uppercut Digger with the crowbar but Digger manages to kick it out of his hand. An overhead swing of the bat but Singh catches it and nails Digger with a low blow and the bat hits the ground. Singh is quick to reach for it but Digger grabs him and nails him against ringpost. Digger backs up and charges after Singh but Singh moves and drop toe holds Digger face first into the ringpost.
Freddy Whoa: Good god! Digger’s face just bounced off that steel and he is out. And now...Oh no, Singh is just bouncing Digger’s head off that post! Digger is busted open now right over his eye and bleeding profusely…
Zach Davis: Singh looks like he has lost it. He picks the crowbar up and puts it across the throat of Gravedigger and...THIEF IN THE NIGHT WITH THE CROWBAR! And Digger is out.
Freddy Whoa: He was already out, Singh has lost it. He puts his hand in Digger’s blood and smears it across his own face and chest now...And he’s...he’s….smiling?
Zach Davis: At his mother. He’s smiling up at Donna who’s standing on the ramp, expressionless.
Freddy Whoa: He’s standing over the downed Digger now….and he’s raising that crowbar....Don’t do this, Stephen.
Zach Davis: Stop, Stephen! Someone--ETHAN KING! King grabs Singh’s hand with the crowbar and the two lock eyes.
Freddy Whoa: King is shaking his head at Singh...Stephen drops his hand slowly….Okay….he’s not going to do it. Thank God for Ethan King…Singh appears to exhale slowly as Ethan finally lets go of his hand….WHOAMYGOD!
Zach Davis: Stephen Singh just drilled King in the head with that damn crowbar! King fights off MS-13 with him, stops him from making a terrible mistake and is knocked out for all his trouble?! What a scene...We...We’ll be right back, folks.
Singh looks down at the bodies around him with a snarl and tosses the crowbar down, the clang as it hits the floor permeating the booing crowd. On the ramp, Donna turns and walks out as the show goes to commercial.
As Slam cuts back from commercial, Hank Brown is seen standing backstage, where he sees the tag team champions standing, two belts over Kemp's shoulder and one over Teo's. The two lean against the counter of a concession stand, the effects of their match still visible.
Hank Brown: Teo! Kemp! Chaos Theory?
Kyle Kemp: I'm not married to that, but it has a nice ring.
Teo says nothing, looking into the cue ball he picked up from that fateful night in the bar.
Hank Brown: I just wanted to get your take on the match for One, I hoped to get a word in?
Kyle Kemp: Look Hank, the main thing we're concerned with is keeping this belt in the Chaos Theory. There is no way Mikey Extreme is going to snatch this thing away from us. We've proven time and time again that we are capable of operating as a unit.
Hank Brown: You've proven that for sure, no doubt.
Kyle Kemp: At One, it's just like any other match. I'm going in as champion, and I'm walking out as Champion. Mikey Extreme is going to learn what it means...
He looks at Teo, who slowly puts the mask on.
Kyle Kemp: To play with Chaos.
Kyle begins to walk away, but the masked Teo grabs his shoulder, gesturing him back. Kyle turns and looks at his partner in confusion. Teo slowly looks down at the belt on his shoulder.
Teo del Sol: Brother Kyle. The universe speaks. It tells me that championship you wear...It is omega. The end. It is everything. This Sunday is Not just another match.
Kyle looks at his partner in confusion, but says nothing.
Teo del Sol: The Extreme one can not! Become the Omega. At any cost, this must be stopped.
Kyle Kemp: Whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean any cost?
Teo looks down at the tag team championship, then to the matching belt on his partner's shoulder.
Teo del Sol: I made a decision once to betray my best friend, Spencer Adams, your greatest rival, to pursue my own goal. I will not make such a mistake again.
Kyle Kemp: Hey, watch your-
Teo raps the cue ball on the Omega title, eliciting a large clink and stopping Kyle mid sentence.
Teo del Sol: But she calls to me Kyle. She tells me that I am your test. That I must be your test. You are the Omega, The end. The Extreme one must fail. That is the Keeper's task. No matter which brother must take the keeper's role.
Kyle looks at his partner in confusion, but Teo just turns and walks away silently.
Hank Brown: Any Idea what that was about, Kyle?
Kyle Kemp:....Not a clue, Hank. But I sure as hell don't like it.
“You think you are special. They think you are special...what is worse - I thought you were special. You are not special. You are a coward. You are a weak, pathetic coward…”
A single beam of light in the centre of the ring hits an unconscious Alessandra Malignaggi, wife of Joey Flash. A second beam hits ‘Hacksaw’ Jim Thuggin.
“I am going to kill her. I am going to destroy everything else in this world. Until you face me it will never end.”
A third beam hits the wild eyes visage of Jared Holmes. He raises the microphone to his mouth, his off hand begins to caress Alessandra’s cheek.
Jared Holmes: There are no more games I am going to play here. You are going to fight me. You are going to fight me or I will end everything that makes you happy in this world. You let your son die.
Jared grins and rests his head on the bulging stomach of Alessandra.
Jared Holmes: Oh. You’re going to let this one down too?
His left hand disappears, and reappears with a glinting metallic horror as he places the tip of a knife on Alessandra’s stomach.
Jared Holmes: You are pathetic. I have everything I hold dear in my hands and even then you won’t come...fine. Then let it end. Let’s be done with this shit show and consign you to the forgotten pages of history, you worthless, disappointing, let down piece of shit. Say goodbye to your wife. Bodybags on deck…
Jared raises the knife...
Jared Holmes: ...you’re finished.
...and thrusts it toward her stomach as the lights in the arena shatter with a resounding echoing supersonic thunder. The secondary lighting bathes the ring instantly as we see the wisps of wild black hair, then the outline of the familiar grey tracksuit followed by the piercing blue eyes staring down at his wife. Stood opposite, Alessandra Malignaggi in his arms is the legendary figure of Joey Flash. He steps through the ropes, wife in his arms and places her next to the ring before caressing her hair. He turns his gaze toward Jared Holmes for the first time.
Jared Holmes: WELCO-
As Jared begins to speak he finds the microphone no longer in his grasp as Joey, now in the ring stands opposite - microphone in hand.
Zach Davis: I don’t even…
Freddy Whoa: ...Whoa.
Joey Flash: No more games.
He drops the microphone and begins his lightning quick series of moves.
Crowd: ZA WARUDO!!!!!!!!
Zach Davis: THE WORLD!
The cameras buzz, crackle and fade before a secondary black and white camera comes into focus on the ring. Jared Holmes, shielding himself with his arms slowly lowers them. Joey Flash, at the top of the ramp now, Alessandra draped over one shoulder.
Joey Flash: The man who sold the world? Please. You fucking rat. It was never yours to sell. You want this so badly? Fine. You have my undivided attention. No bullshit. No distractions. No low tier ‘legends’ to take my gaze from you. I am going to make your dreams come true. You want this so badly? Fine. I accept…
Joey smiles, a smile dripping with malice - Jared grins a shark like smile back toward him.
Joey: ...you’re right. This will be your last match. You are finished. Jared Holmes vs Joey Flash, One. Come watch a fucking murder.
Zach Davis: And now... it is time for our HUGE Slam main event. A WORLD TITLE match!
Freddy Whoa: World Title matches on Slam are rare... but two short weeks before One!? You have to ask what Seth was thinking.
Zach Davis: According to Seth, some have claimed that John Rabid was hiding behind the Television Championship and using that belt to NOT have to defend his World Championship. Of course, that doesn't make sense - Rabid put his body on the line week in and week out and goes into One hurting thanks to that - but whatever.
Freddy Whoa: Luke Force, meanwhile, could go into One as World Champion, and then win the Internet and People's Champions too!
Zach Davis: You'd have to assume he'd still have to defend the World Title in the main event, but still, yes, that would be impressive.
The lights in the arena go out, a mock 7-11 logo that says “kickin ass 24-7” appears on the jumbo screen. A singular green tinted spotlight shines to Luke “The Irresistible” Force standing on the entrance ramp as smoke surrounds him. “Irresistible Force” by The Too Skinnee J’s begins to play. As the beat kicks into high gear, pyro explodes as Luke busts through the smoke and down the ramp. The spotlight follows Luke to ringside where Luke pauses and surveys the scene. He hops to the apron, with his back to the ropes and facing the crowd, Luke raises his arms in concert with the pyro. Luke enters the ring with the arena stilled blacked out except for the spotlight on Luke. He climbs to the second rope and raises his arms again and the house lights flash on as the ring pyro explodes. As Luke stretches his massive arms out and extends his chest as if he were going to beat on it, we see him in on his glory against the house lights. The house lights go out, and Luke heads to the middle of the ring still in the spotlight.
Zach Davis: Here is your challenger.
Freddy Whoa: And here... is your Champion.
“Death Breath - Toxic Avenger Remix” by Bring Me The Horizon hits as a huge pyrotechnic barrage explodes around the jumbotron. As the smoke clears, we see John Rabid standing tall; arms outstretched as he spins on the spot. Rabid struts down the ramp, snarling and gnashing his teeth at a stray cameraman as John's name appears on a Slam graphic. Meanwhile, Rabid's 'tron plays in the background; it's The Ripper hitting the Kingdom Destroyer on a cavalcade of doomed jobbers, this scene is intercut with footage of Lon Chaney in Tod Browning's "London After Midnight" (1927). Rabid reaches the ramp and climbs the turnbuckle, “smelling” the cheer's from the crowd before taking off his black trench-coat and shades and waving his hapless opponent on with a cocky smirk on his face.
Both men stand in their corners as Kyle Steel stands in the center of the ring.
Kyle Steel: Standing to my right at six feet five inches, weighing in at two hundred fifty five pounds.. from Virginia Beach, Virginia.. he is a former Alpha Champion, he is the IRRERISTIBLE ONE, he is LUUUUUUUUUUUUKE FOOOOOOOORCEEEE!!
Luke doesn't play to the crowd and instead stares at Rabid.
Kyle Steel: And two my left. He is the longest ever reigning Television Champion and the current reigning and defending World Champion. Standing at six feet two inches and weighing in at two hundred twenty six pounds, by way of London, England, he is JJOOHHNN RABBBIIIDDD!!!!
As soon as the bell rings and the match is official, Luke Force is on John Rabid like white on rice. He tackles him down and hits him with a flurry of offense before rolling off and beginning to stomp on the World Champion.
Zach Davis: John Rabid chose to come out here without Very British Security, which may or may not have been wise! Time will tell.
Luke Force backs off and lets Rabid get to his feet before running at him and hitting a Dropkick. Force quickly pulls Rabid away from the ropes and goes for a pin.
Freddy Whoa: This is the first WCF World Title match of Luke Force's career, and he knows he has to take every opportunity he can take!
He quickly begins lifting Rabid up and hits him with a series of stiff forearm checks to the face before hitting a Snap Suplex, floating over and going for another pin attempt.
No!, another kickout.
Zach Davis: Every opportunity indeed!
Force transitions into a Chinlock but Rabid is still fresh, he quickly works his way up and elbows his way out of it. Force goes to take him down with a Russian Legsweep but Rabid elbows his way out of that too and takes Force down with a Discus Lariat!
Freddy Whoa: Beautiful!
Rabid waits as Force stumbles up and knees him in the gut before executing a Pumphandle Gutbuster. Force stumbles up and Rabid grapples him from behind.
Zach Davis: Here it comes.. German Suplex!
Rabid keeps it hooked, lifts him back up.
Freddy Whoa: Rabid hits a second one! He lifts Force up once more...
Rabid has Force grappled for the third but Force slips around and grapples Rabid instead! Force goes for a Ripchord Clothesline and Rabid reverses that with a V Trigger knee!
Zach Davis: Knee right to Force's face!
Force collapses and Rabid pins him.
Freddy Whoa: Luke Force kicks out!
Rabid lifts Force up and hits a few forearms to his head before pushing him into the ropes and throwing him across the ring. As Force comes back, Rabid executes a Tiltawhirl Backbreaker. Rabid begins stomping away at Force.
Zach Davis: Luke Force started this match strong, but now John Rabid has taken control.... as the World Champion seems to always find a way to do.
Rabid goes for a Standing Moonsault!, but instead of going for the pin hops right up onto the turnbuckle and flies off with a top rope Moonsault! Another pin attempt!
NO!, Force kicks out again!
Freddy Whoa: You can never underestimate a man like Luke Force, here in his very first World Title match... Winning here means he gets to walk into the main event of ONE. There is no bigger World Title match any time in the year besides this one, and Force is going to do his damnest.
Rabid lifts Force to his feet and irish whips him into the corner, but Force sees an opportunity and reverses the irish whip attempt and sends Rabid into the corner instead. Force runs at him and Clotheslines him, then hits several clubbing Clotheslines - until Rabid grabs him, slams him into the corner and hits a series of Machine Gun chops! Rabid then lifts him up to the top.
Zach Davis: Rabid climbing up with Force now, going high risk here...
Freddy Whoa: AVALANCHE FRANKENSTEINER!
Looking to possibly put an end to this Rabid then climbs up an adjacent turnbuckle after completing the move.
Zach Davis: PHOENIX SPLASH!
NO!, no! Force gets his knees up at the very last second, out of pure instinct! Rabid crashes into them and rolls away, having lost his breath. Force runs at him and hits a Jumping Knee to the back of his head. Rabid is about to collapse until Force grapples him and takes him down with a Russian Legsweep.
Freddy Whoa: And just like that, Luke Force is back in control!
Force waits for Rabid to start to get up before running at him and hitting another knee to the head!
Zach Davis: He backs off, he looks like he's going for it again..
BOOM!, one more knee to the head! Luke Force has seemingly realized he's not in there with just anybody and doesn't go for the pin quite yet. Instead, he backs off and waits for Rabid to get to his feet.
Freddy Whoa: Luke Force letting Rabid get up under his own power. Could be dangerous, could work to his advantage... Time will tell.
Force fires it off.
Zach Davis: FOOT OF FORCE!
NO!, Rabid has it scouted and ducks the Superkick. He goes for a V Trigger but Force swats it away. Both men turn to one another and Rabid has the faster reflexes and goes to Clothesline Force down but Force ducks it, both face each other..
Freddy Whoa: FORCE DROPS RABID WITH A CUTTER!
Luke Force pins the World Champion!
NO!, kickout from Rabid!
Zach Davis: John Rabid has been used to defending the Television Champion, but defending the World Championship is a different story altogether. Luke Force is bringing everything he's got.
Freddy Whoa: How is him hitting a Cutter different than him hitting his FU?
Zach Davis: Uh.........
Force kicks at Rabid several times before lifting him up. He holds his face and yells I'M MAIN EVENTING ONE before kicking him in the gut and DDTing him.
Freddy Whoa: Definitely seeing a new side of Luke Force here tonight.
Force turns Rabid over and stomps his lower back before rolling him over again and grabbing him by the legs.
Zach Davis: He's going for the submission victory, he's going for the Lukedown!
But he took too much time - Rabid is able to kick Force away. Force rushes him and Rabid goes for a Schoolboy rollup pin!
Freddy Whoa: Shades of the man challenging whoever wins this at one.. Shades of Sidney J. Warwick.
Both men are to their feet and Rabid fires off his own Superkick now, which Force ducks. Both men face each other and Force goes for the Foot of Force Superkick!, boom, another duck. Both men face each other yet again and Force goes for one more Foot of Force!
Zach Davis: John Rabid ducks it - wait what's this!?
Luke's foot of force forces its foot right into the referee. The ref goes down. Rabid grapples Force from behind and lifts him up into the Electric Chair position...
Freddy Whoa: THE TOWER BRIDGE! HE HITS IT!
Zach Davis: INTO THE PIN!
...But there is no referee there to count. Until Tyler Walker runs in.
Zach Davis: Tyler Walker, friend of Biohazard, is here wearing a referee's shirt. Instead of the shirt saying WCF, it says SJW... He's here for "justice."
Tyler half heartedly counts one, Force is practically already kicking out. John Rabid gets up and gets in Tyler Walker's face and asks what he's doing. Walker points to his referee shirt and says he's doing it for B-HAZ and social justice before Force is able to roll Rabid up from behind.
Freddy Whoa: No!, Rabid kicks out. But you can tell where this is going...
Both Force and Rabid to their feet now!
Zach Davis: With all due respect to Luke Force, John Rabid is damn near unbeatable - if Sidney J. Warwick by way of Tyler Walker and Biohazard can get the belt onto Force, his chances of victory at One HAVE to increase. And that seems to be what he's here to do!
Rabid runs towards Force, but Force boots him in the gut. He lifts him up.
Freddy Whoa: FORCEDRIVER!
Zach Davis: HE HITS IT!
Force drops down and pins John Rabid.
Freddy Whoa: VERY BRITISH SECURITY PULL TYLER WALKER OUT OF THE RING!
Before Walker's hand can drop, with his super fast count, he's pulled out of the ring. Very British Security grab him by the throat and lift him up...
Zach Davis: DOUBLE CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE ECUADORIAN ANNOUNCE TABLE!
Luke Force is yelling outside the ring at William and Ainsley and doesn't notice as John Rabid runs at him.
Freddy Whoa: KINGDOM DESTROYER!
Rabid pins Luke Force as another, more official, referee slides into the ring.
The bell sounds.
Zach Davis: And there you have it! John Rabid retains!
Rabid rolls away from Luke Force and stands up, getting his arm raised. Tyler Walker is basically dead in the rubble of the Ecuadorian announce table. Force rolls out and even after having just lost this match is able to find William the Behemoth and begins brawling with him!, throwing caution to the wind!
Freddy Whoa: John Rabid heads into One, facing the ONLY man to have pinned him in 2017 - Sidney J. Warwick! Does Sidney have Rabid's number, or will Rabid do what he's done as Champion as long as we can remember - and retain?
As John Rabid picks himself up off the mat following his successful championship defense, "Be Yourself" by Audioslave begins to play over the P.A. system. Rabid, looking confused, shoots a cold stare at the entrance ramp.
Freddy Whoa: What the hell? I don't think there's anybody on the roster who uses that as their entrance music . . .
Zach Davis: Could we be seeing a major debut here in the WCF?!
The music signals the entrance of six men: Kyle Congdon, Jacob Black, Johnny Alpha, Hajeet, Dan Capello, and Biohazard. The half dozen wrestlers walk down the aisle and congregate on the side of the ring in between it and the entrance ramp. Biohazard checks on his comatose friend but otherwise knows he has a job to do.
Zach Davis: Normally I would say that these guys have absolutely nothing in common aside from being members of the WCF roster, but we saw all of them out here earlier competing in the Sidney J. Warwick Invitational for the first ever Softcore Safe Space Championship.
Freddy Whoa: But why would they be interrupting John Rabid's opportunity to celebrate his successful title defense?
As if answering that question, "Be Yourself" abruptly stops playing and is replaced by Ani DiFranco's "Both Hands." Sidney J. Warwick steps out from behind the curtain and stands at the top of the entranceway, a microphone in one hand and the former Television Title belt - now the Softcore Safe Space Title belt - over his opposite shoulder. He initially takes a few steps as though he is going to come down to the ringside area but thinks better of it and backtracks to the stage before raising the mic to his lips.
Sidney J. Warwick: Johnny, I don't know if you were paying attention, but we had a bit of an issue here earlier in the evening, when we failed to crown a new champion to replace you following up on your humiliating loss of the TV Title last week. Once the Sidney J. Warwick invitational ended, I gave some thought to what we might do to address this issue, and I've come up with something that I think is rather inspired! In fact, it's so genius, I thought that you might want to be the first person to hear it.
Rabid starts pacing back and forth in the ring like a caged animal, knowing that he's not going to like what he hears.
Sidney J. Warwick: When I saw these six competitors out here this evening, clearly putting so much effort into the match, I realized that ALL effort deserves to be awarded. So, much like I gave all of my opponents in War XVI participation trophies, I have decided that all six of these men should be the Softcore Safe Space Champion and replace you in holding this belt!
Zach Davis: Wait, what?
Freddy Whoa: How exactly does that work?
Sidney J. Warwick: That's right, I am official declaring co-champions for only the second time in WCF history! You see, Hajeet will defend the Softcore Safe Space Title on Mondays, Kyle Congdon will defend it on Tuesdays, Johnny Alpha will defend it on Wednesdays, Biohazard will defend it on Thursdays, Jacob Black will defend it on Fridays, and Dan Capello will defend it on the Saturdays that he doesn't have custody of his brat children! Then, just because that leaves one night open, I'll defend the championship myself on Sundays! It's a seven-way co-championship! It's a phenomenal idea!
When Warwick completes his explanation, the six men standing at ringside each reach into their trunks and produce miniature, plastic versions of the Safe Space Championship belt, similar to the child-sized title belts that are available for purchase in toy stores. They hold them high over their heads as though they've just won legitimate championships.
Zach Davis: For a guy who likes to preach about the purity of wrestling, he sure does like to dilute the value of titles.
Sidney J. Warwick: And, trust me, the seven of us will have a championship reign far more epic than anything that YOU were able to accomplish with the Television Title!
Taking that comment somewhat personally, John Rabid begins running in the ring and vaults himself over the top rope with a no-hands tope con hilo that lands him squarely in the middle of Sidney's co-conspirators and wipes out Capello, Black, Congdon, and Hajeet. Rabid is up to his feet quickly and starts to run towards Sidney Warwick, but, before he can get too far, Johnny Alpha and Biohazard each grab one of his arms and hold him back, with the combination of the two men's strength and Rabid's exhaustion from just having wrestled a fine competitor in Luke Force preventing him from getting loose, despite his best efforts.
Sidney J. Warwick: Tisk, tisk, tisk Johnny Boy. You see, this is the kind of behavior that cost you the TV Title in the first place. You just don't ever seem to learn, though, do you? You've fallen prey to toxic masculinity yet again and let your need to be a "macho man" get the better of you. It seems that you're never going to be in a position to learn as long as you're in a championship picture. The belts just have too strong of an effect on you. So, at ONE, I'm going to make sure that you don't come anywhere near professional wrestling gold again. It's what's best. It's what will save you. It's what will save this sport. It's what will save your son.
With Warwick once again invoking his son, Rabid tries to power forward again, and he manages to free one arm from Johnny Alpha's grasp, but, before he can do anything further, a recently revived Jacob Black staggers forward and grabs Rabid's legs, which also allows Alpha to reassert control.
Sidney J. Warwick: You know what? People like to say that I get "triggered" by certain topics and that being "triggered" makes me weak, like it makes me less of a man. But the only person who I see that is in this conversation right now who is getting triggered is you, my friend. Maybe you need to relax. Maybe it would be better if, rather than continuing to parade this championship belt around on television with my newfound friends, we just put it up high on a shelf someplace so it will never hurt your feelings again.
You think that might make you feel better, you unique and delicate little snowflake?
Yeah, you know what, I think that's what I'll do. We'll just effectively retire the Television Championship. We'll only make it available again if somebody who really deserves an opportunity in professional wrestling comes around again who deserves it, unlike yourself. Let's say that we'll now only make this championship available to pansexual, agender amputees of Panamanian descent!
That ought to prevent you from hurting this belt anymore, and, after ONE, you won't be able to hurt professional wrestling at all anymore, in any way, shape, or form . . .
Suddenly, Rabid manages to free one of his feet from Jacob Black's grasp and rears back, kicking Black across the edge of his nose. With an additional gasp of strength, Rabid tears his arm away from Johnny Alpha and, once it is free, he connects with a stiff backhand to Alpha's face. Finally, while Alpha is out of commission, Rabid rocks Biohazard with a knee to the groin to free himself and charge up the ramp at Warwick.
Zach Davis: Look out, Sidney!
Freddy Whoa: Should we really be rooting for Rabid after he laid us both out last week?
Zach Davis: He's still better than the alternative!
Rabid meets Warwick and double legs him, taking him down on the entrance ramp and peppering him with out of control overhand fists. Warwick tries to cover up as a sea of WCF officials pours out of the locker room area and tries to separate the pair of men. Initially, they succeed in removing Rabid from his rival, but, a few moments later, the Ripper has slipped away from them and his back on top of Warwick again. He is pulled off again, and, this time, Sidney Warwick sees his opening and scoops up the former Television Title belt before half-walking and half-crawling off the stage and to the back.
Freddy Whoa: Sidney J. Warwick has managed to run away from John Rabid every time that they've gone face to face these last few weeks!
Zach Davis: But there will be no running on January 1! There will be no running when these two men face each other at ONE!